Bill's Rant

arrested to try this one and see how

long it takes for me to end up in

psych.

G-D EVERYWHERE ALLTIME <--- WONDER

IF THAT WILL LAND ME IN PSYCH.

Today I attempted to decsipher a

chinamans MWF matter weak feild for

physics unity theory.

and now I have a question of legal

response, I honestly think it is a

goodone. For Name, Birthplace and

birthdate

They tend to leave you alone when

you ask for the queen or the pope so

I'm geussing this will miff them all

the same, unless there are stones

handy

How to get out of confinement:

Upon reaching psych just say you

were joking around with the cops..

see what happens thats as far as my

theory can go since I dont have

practicle interaction but I

definately got to try it next time.

If on transport back to confinement

you can't feel your hands don't

blame me like I said I don't know

what they would do to someone

else... they'd prolly just fk me

over regardless.. even though they

arn't allowed to due to human

rights.. but thats the ontario

mental health act for you it is a

violation of human rights.

Even though I feel talking about it

damages what little PR I may have,

she{if you dont know what I'm

talking about whatever} clearly

stated that she did not understand

what I was saying that I was being

incoherent. If incoherence existed

why was she having discusion with me

and saying yes and affirming what i

was saying, not only this but she is

suppose to conduct interveiw to

determine, if non coherence without

physical acts existing then what

grounds did she have to form me. At

the same time although to me it

seems like she had animosity towards

me and blatant disregard for me, it

still offends me. She even stated

that she was exercising her "powers"

to protect me from harm by others

yet I was held days prior with out

any issues Oactually I was bonding

in a non sexual way with people

prior to being placed in

segregation: and I was in PC, yet

she states that there is risk to

myself as ground to hold me, not

only is that an abuse of power but

negligent there should be no

protections of an individual while

they are stating that being held at

a location is against there wishes

and statements are made against

treatment. It is pure bs and misuse

of power, although after the abuses

I've gone through and my perpetuated

veiw of the world around me it

doesn't come as a suprise and this

is perhaps malstructured whine.

I feel like I need another prod but

the thing is I dont care if I get

fked over by it, they either torture

me again perhaps increased, but htis

time the unknown isn't there for

what they represent.

Regardless of how mad making myself

mad to test a theory may be I

honestly am bored enough to do it..

but school right... Its that suck

your soul thing your alway bound to

something where its graded and

accumulative the snakes and ladders

clause of life.

Atleast the thought process is

there. It doesn't so much matter but

the non resolution just keeps

playing back to it and unless I move

the ball it doesn't go anywhere and

its not in a place I'd like it to

be. I get how this may very well end

up regardless, I'm tired of it.

It's just the act feeling right (it

really isn't an act, it is a balance

but I havn
't added enough weights yet, either

for the scale to break or it to be

level)

It hasn't changed though it is still

simply what it is, and I should go

to bed considering I'm under 7 hours

sleep now.

Of course good weather will come,

and By may it'll be nice I wont have

to be in school? will I go for

another term who knows.. The summer

will make me complaicent then fall

and I'll be even older wihtout

anything happening I'll still be

pretty much ignored what I see as

gross violations of standards of

humanity will still be ongoing and I

wont have my peace.. who knows after

that maybe make it back in school

unless something drastic happens in

the end I'm not where I'd like to

be, I'm still where I can stand

being but the point is it isn't

where I'd like to be it is where I

can realisitically be, and there is

no need for realism all you need is

to believe. I'm not affraid of being

destroyed again it is just a matter

that is interaction in that

direction even valid? I don't like

the people so why would I directly

interact with them? But the thing is

it is them that are stopping

liberty, yet they claim to uphold

liberty.. not my liberty, if I'm a

political rival and I'm moral then

obviously it makes them evil isn't

that clear cut, then why should I

have an issue with destroying

them... well wouldn't that just make

me like them.. exactly it's the

moral clause, of course that doesn't

stop them from fking me, I'm not

bloody jesus, so I get that unless

the world undergoes miraculous

change I'm just going to be

corrupted until I'm so deluded that

I wont even recognize myself as

evil.. adn I'll still think they are

evil because they are the

offenders.. and I learn all their

tricks.. that is the empire for you.

anyway I'm tired. I could just go

yah mkay lets do thhiss in 10 years

I'll be happily ignorant and

positioned (if I actually was

successful at doing nothing of my

own motion for 10 years) the reverse

is being dominated for 10 years

directly .. but in the end loosing

10 years but at the same time always

being right. WTF is that.

It is not complicated it is just the

default of the situation isn't the

right default and the right default

isn't the right situation. Paradox

not really.

I can't stand the fkers. It's not

new or unique raise the banter they

make those jokes for reasons.

my honesty isn't constructive: lwtf.

It is just thinking up something

artistic enough to be a worthwhile

BLATANT breach.. but I always get

away with them>>> self incrimination

yah maybe but i already attempted to

lay charges on myself and it didn't

work. It's not like anybody who

feels like it can't just on whim

beat the crp out of me and kill or

disfigure me I relize that is a

reality I realize people can crush

my testicals or torch my eyes.. I'm

not affraid of that It is a matter

that I have to put up with this crp.

The art of crime... maybe that is

the new book title.

The art of crime the story of

humankind.

Oh sure I'll be screwed over in the

end but not cause I'm a bad person

just cause other people can't get

over it.

Of course I can't sleep becuase I'm

thinking still have unfinishd

thoughts...

This is "fantastic" but bluntly it

isn't, because of my background I

only see two likely outcomes. 1.

would be segregation due to refusal

of TB ... although I'm uncertain

what the scenario is for Over 2

years, however if they violated my

religious/freedom of concious

beleifs then regardless it wouldn't

be peaceable confinement so who

knows what would occur. In the

second case if I was held for mental

health reasons then it gives me an

opertunity to act up my feeling of

betrayal whenever I had the strength

when being un restrained from the

bed (as they strap all your limbs to

the bed) and any protest is met by

tranquilzer which causes you to

sleep for a day and messes with your

body coordinations for a day or so

after. At the least i might be able

to get a few good shots in ever so

often, of course I'd be transfered

to london most likely with time and

in that case I dont know what to

expect there but if it is the same

regulation then it would continue

with strapdowns and injections since

the injections are poisonous and

physically damaging I'm not sure how

the body would hold up over the long

term but well what can you do.

Other then that its only a matter of

how I was maimed or if I were

killed. The maiming would suck of

course but it would be them, and I'm

not concerned about death that I

don't cause.

I'm not sure if there are any

factors I'm not taking into account.

Other then killing or maiming me,

starving me to death by nonprovision

or straping me down and/or with

forced injections I'm not certain if

there are anymore

loopholes/legislations that they

might take?

The best case scenario of course is

segregation which is mental

liberty.(that is of course in

physical confinement.) dont have me

mistaken I feel expression is

fundamental to life however I feel

that making true the fundamentals is

some form of truth.

And removal from scruitny and

failing is a sense of freedom. Of

course it destroys the fundmantals

of a "just society" because always

those outside your confinment will

be stopping you from liberty.

However the idea is that they are

the ones that create that liberty,

what you are left with is your mind

to create your escape from the stone

that surrounds you. You can never

escape that so it always rests with

mental expression it is what is

within that expression that creates

the basis of society. So for those

that are independant of your thought

are memebers of society no more then

any other all equal in recognition

as creators of the world creators of

society.

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Some domain notes:

In my notes on my domain learning
I geuss restating, one of the fundamental issues of society is reuse or rather continued use without a new consensus, also the extent of concensus. Also a question of temporal requirements and a perfection of concensus through not only a majority democration rather a full democration of the recognized society. The issue being respect of equality of the sourvriegn state and all recognized members. Realistically this seems a forced conservatism unless action is clearly sought. The other result would seem to be a breakdown of society, is it the individuals which act against those against or is it those that act against the suggestion of action? Clearly it seems at times that suggestions of actions are clearly contrary to ones wishes, you can seee this on an internal basis of determination and disimination, so to in a domain system of collective sentience. Is there a method of disimination of correctness in reuse and continued use of domain that is not recognized as sentient?

Historically it would seem that legalistics stemming from first rights of recognition exist, that is those who first found the domain have rights as to it's use, however in a full veiw there is no actual division in society, it instead is points of culture in society. Those cultural notions are differentiations by differences of exposure to the whole of society and the greater domain. So in the clasic system primary seclusion. That is the oldest segment of culture has rights until those rights are relinquished, either by death or transfer within an understanding of culture. Contest of course is a potential for conflict where survival of the fitest comes into play. However this system could be argued to be neither civilized(survival of the fitest) nor functionable because it does not take the full society into consideration, it actually removes rights by granting greater rights to an individual thus inequality. Also the question of communication of rights becomes a question? That is how is one to desern ownership of domain, domain cannot be owned by anything but society as a whole, it seems that the rule of primary seclusion seperates society and creates inequalities? Is this to say that ownership based upon beleif in discovery is an adversion of conflict in a civil society or it is the creator of conflict by creation of inequalities in capabilities without breaking a cultural rule. The rule does not proove to be absolute so clearly it cannot be applied in a sovreign system. This would continue into systems of (in)corporations etc.. however I dont quite see how primary seclusion is an expression of sovreignty however the notion of correctness of use or reuse seems nonabsolute. unless one is to determine inaction till the whole of recogition of collective state is found. Otherwise society becomes segmental culture. It seems obvious there is segmental culture perhaps not too discernable except in major classificatons however still minutes distinct with each point. I find it hard to see how it is functionable, however it seems to be bearing back to determination and disimination. Of course systems of weighing value of consideration however in making any determination is a reduction of recognition. Thus continued use would seem to be inplace by default, thus those against by default loose recognition. However still the question of point of primary founding... in a full domain how is anything ever NOT in existance and recognized? That is for one to claim primary seclusion is to remove themselves for the greater domain and the greater society.. thus deviation of culture, not exclusively though since in our own exposures it is inevitable that we would have varying culture.. .... now the point of contest is, is civility a cultural institution or is it a social absolute same too for the notion of survival of the fitest is it a cultural institution or a social absolute.. survival of the fitest proactively seem abberant from morality which is a social absolute, and civillity is the the result of adherance to the true society.

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On the meaning of life one of my answers in google answer to this question
giving an answer to the question "what is the meaning of life" I came up with the followoing response Well it seems broken down into a logical vs. humanistic/emotive framework. The logical perspective ends at a paradox where logic proves false, although the logic systems create probable outcomes. When working in a probalistic stimulus response system one gears themselves either conciously or unconciously towards values. At that point analysis of ones values there is creation of a sense of personality. The gearing of detrimined values crossed with temporal values creates desire. Ones meaning could directly relate to ones desires, this could also be the seemingly never fullfillable desire not to desire, if that is ever acheived then ones life would seem to no longer be temporal in nature, thus the notion of purpose would no longer be there and with that the notion of meaning which is synonomous with purpose. This is not to say that it is not posible it is just to say that the logical framework for understanding it isn't nesicarily symantic and for this to be more then symantic is to go to the artful nature of life.

If someone is to be aware of their conciousness then they are in a form of paradox, that paradox is one where nothing has logical meaning, however meanings can still be created based upon emotive symbolics.

In a mnemonic system it could be argued that enthropy is eventual however with the idea of entropy is the ongoing theme of specialization and selection. The idea of faiths ties into ones groundings however faith itself seems a subset of the greater school of culture. Ultimately we are all individual souvreign and divine entities interacting with our own notions of worldlyness. It is not so much us that takes force instead it is our life which is to experience the emotions, ultimately it is our faith/culture/experiences/personality that guide us.

For myself the world is one of many contrasts however it is up to us to gauge our emotions. To fill the world with a greater sense of "GOOD". These are the most pure emotions we have and it would seem that it is our desire to maintain the overall sense of those pure emotions. However as one is within a logical framework which includes perceptions of temporal mnemonics ones emotions become more complex where one "feeling" can span countless other momements. The more one feels the greater the potential of those emotions become.

The important values I've learned which are central to pureness of being are the following

Being removed from the domain system. Valueing all life and in regard to humans never enoforcing your will on them.

The environment you live in may be another key factor to having fullfillment in life. Also nurturing and being nurtured in an environment of love.

A recent song by tiesto exemplifies the next comment I was going to make "JUST BE"

In the reading and experiences I've had, the meaning of life teaches me enjoy the moments you can and if your lucky either the world will change or you'll keel over. It such a disgusting twisted twisted twisted planet where the base concepts tear at the very notion of having lasting joy in any worldly sense and where your torn apart in solitude knowing that there is a world that could be. Really on that note adjusting.

I see myself in many ways as a historian someone who records the life and times of myself. I'm an emotive robot. I can make sense of everything to my full understanding. In the moment things are exactly what they are however everything one experiences is more and more.

Ultimately YOU are the meaning of life but what you are is nothing less then everything and with that WE are the meaning of life.

Of course to define each and everyword the notions of concept of culture philosophies and frameworks of existance. Pinch yourself how about slaming your head against a wall? ENJOY your life you can't do any wrong. I have to find my peace, and I'd love to give you joy. Both are unthinkable the notion of sanity and winter may be the two notions that have me in the beleif I'm still thinking... its just feeling. FEEL.

All in all you make your own life otherwise your some puppet. What if that puppet had very long arms and was wresting on a pole? Its a much better visual.

The issue is I'm not to sure I'm totally dead yet.. and I'm not too sure I'll get back to you when I am.

Hope that answers your question.

The obvious one would seem to be getting to the point you can say I dont know but thats just ignorance. AND THAT may be the difference between me and the world

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Still havn't decided what I'd like to take in my old age. It seems I've really really trashed my life rather life trashed me. Sadly its not that I like the situation or the scientific logical application. Its the basis of authority and conflict and the idea of rule. There is no rule in a equal society how then does a society exist that has a basis of authority. It feels like I'm going to loose what is left of my youth. If all happens the way its suppose to I'll be in school till the summer. I might actually see if I can get some exta credits however my first time around in school like 8 or so years ago I got a few courses which only exist in like one place failed due to abscence so its like a 34 and a couple other really low grades which pretty much trashes my average. The thing is though I'm not that smart even if I do get some 6 or so good credits I'm geussing I may actually need to take upgrading till 2006. I would retake the course if it existed to remove it from the transcript however the course only exists at one school. Honestly I'm not sure how I can actually get entry back a couple posts about doing upgrading in college. The thing is though I dont know what I'd like to do and I'm not sure if I feel like being in school till I'm 40 thats 2020. I just wont have myself in order. Its just a matter of killing time. For me this isn't a matter of survival, its a matter of enjoyment. The world is just so industrialized is there anywhere in the world a place of warmth and beauty where also life and joy can be sustained? Is there an escape? I'm not attempting to be pessimistic actually I'm happy with who I am as a person it's just I can't stand the world I'm in. I myself do not feel very intellegent I'm not a specialist mind. I dont have a good memory. I dont see why I'm thinking about dedicating the next 6 or so years to school. Its really just two things 1. I can't have the peace 2. I'm going to be spending my time reading anyway so why not direct it and make it for a "social" reason and also have the "important" points highlighted. There was a point that I was keen on being a microquantum engineer or a research scientist as I'm geussing that in order to really open up space there are going to have to be some advances in the field I also at a time found mtheory and the "chains" of probability to be at a base of sceintific understanding and thus a release from the physical prison of science. There was a point that I was keen on artifical intellegence seeing it as the epitome of logic systems, however getting to the end of my studies of logic systems logic broke down. but its still here as I type. I really dont have anything to worry about its just I geuss a longing where I feel I deserve to be to the point of joy I've been befor and what have I dont for it to abandon me is it dhea deficit? I dont know. Its winter for one. If I could change some things about my life here are some of the things I would change 1. I would be living in a always warm area closer to the equator. 2. I would be living in private in a place I could walk around nude. 3. I would live near a beach those three things tell me that I dont like my living environment right now? does this mean I should move? it's as if it's not posible for me to leave how would i make endsmeat. 4. I would forget logic 5. I would forget science. the thing is though why are there some things I forget however I have a system of having a beleif in the consisten elements of logic? Why is logical determiniation true? Honestly I'd like to die or go into a dream world. How then is life? I've been through this befor. Its the two sides of me one is saying give it all up the other side is saying make something of yourself. Where is fullfillment without an inclination of expectation? where is expectation without logic? See I've already gone through the system atleast what I veiw as the "warrior caste" the "legal caste" and the "cultural caste" in each case I feel like I represent the enemy or a subject rather then equal its my interactions with authoritarian society. Thats part of why I'd just like to leave dodge find a place of peace. I can't really stand that part of me is addicted to technology where I feel I need to expand my knowledge of the world over finding peace with myself. Thats what it breaks down to in many ways the sense of personal betterment or stagnation why can't finding peace without things be seen as bettering myself? Why can't I just abandon the pursuit but in doing so I destroy my worldly self? I dont feel its fair that I should have to weaken or loose any progress. Be it my physical health or the time it takes to aquire facts and working systems of order. I have the sense I'll have my peace eventually however I dont like the conflict and the physical world seems to represent the states and difference? Where is the order of it all? I dont feel like "me" I feel like "me as" I just dont have the purpose I geuss I just need to beautify that which surrounds me however where are the levels of any sense of priority and why should it be a deliberation? I just wish I could spasm and leave the limitation. I close my eyes and I see that its there but is it tangible? knock on the wood floor however where is the beauty that surrounds me why a reject of my own inner sense of beauty why the two differing, why am I givin this to shape? why am I so snobish or a prude as to feel all hope is lost for finding a peace here in this environment? Could it ever be good enough and with this attitude will it ever be good enough? I just need to get it. the logic says the temporal system will stay linear. as I sit here I feel the world is contained by the force of gravity but really why is it this way what is the purpose of the limitation? what is the purpose of any of it. is it a moment I just feel less. Is it what i need what i desire what is it I desire. Is a proxy ever real. How can I find the place? How do I make the place? Why can't I die.
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New rant I'm still doing fine however I am such a wreck, I'm ready to die. I work tommorow again for the first time (for an employer) since like 2001 thats like 3 years or something. I'm killing time until school starts back up in January hopefully. Maybe I'll be able to save up for a college course or something. I figure that I may start to have a little more normalcy by 2006 (26) however I'm way old things in my life have just gone odd. I figured it out really why I didn't know what I new. It's as simple as I'm living, I can't stand the scientific barriers, however it seems like as long as I'm alive it's just what I have to accept and learn to enjoy. I just have to accept what happens. I've been to the edge and you dont know till your there. Prolly go to bed soon. I have a long way ahead of me. I'm so far behind, maybe some time I'll be secure happy and in love, until then its time.I need to learn more.

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Question If a plant (a mushroom mycelium in this case) is given a man-made chemical, and this plant converts it, using its natural capabilities, into a product that had never before been known in nature, is that product natural? What is natural? I say: If the plant or any other nearby occurance in nature is unable to provide the chemical applied to the mycelium without human electronic intervention (chemical production, transportation, application) then i'd wager to say it's not natural... but then again why aren't human actions considered natural? Are they not the result of the cognitive actions of evolving mammals, just as valid as say cats, or mycelium. That brings up the point of the divergence between humans as unnatural and the natural properties of everything else within the archaea, eukarya and prokarya So why is it that humans are unnatural, and where do their origins lie? (i posted this out of a lj discussion, that's why it's structured the way it is ) _______________________ Scientifically I'm geussing your describing a chemicle or subatomic reaction between An organic living compound and a synthetically created compound. First of the idea of Natural or occuring in nature is more so Primal and Manmade. Dealing with the processes of nature all actions manmade and organic are cosmic natural occurances as it is all just energy at different temperatures. The interactions of the energies create reactions and new points of difference. For instance plants are fed fertalizer be it nitrogen injections or other the nitrogen could very well be considered Manmade however just because the natural processes don't occur on earth does not mean that do not occur naturally. Afterall the universe itself is one giant intellegent organism that is saying that we can vouche for atleast one point of conciousness and being human we can be self assured of perception of occurance the intellegence itself can never be fully explained logically and getting to that point creates the fallacy of logic. The point of definition of the word natural may give leading into an answer or the beleif of meaning of natural based upon some level of consented culture, afterall are we occuring in a scientific universe or are we occuring in logical fallacy. As a scientific universe we can define nature as something which occurs in a hierachy. If each point of a hierachy has to be directly decendent with exclusion of all submainstream points or outside of genre with creations of subgenres it seems that nature itself is better defined as closeness to origin. The issue may be that defining an origin in a scientific universe is ongoing as in some creation theories this is still the origin. Temporally speaking we can define origin as number of steps or basematter differentiation. That would be all points of variance of the object being defined within all variances. That having the least changes would be the most exclusive and closest in origin thus the most natural. However the idea of cultural nature would seem to be connected with notions of biology. Things that are living have common traits including recreation this having dna other cellular properties which allow for a level of sameness within a closekin matterstates. That is there are no identical points of occurance except for that which is at the point of gravity of all energy. This can't so much be true as there are no real constants in science as everything is theory. All in all the mushroom biproduct would be organically derived. Nature is things which create a harmony for the highest order. If it is new, it means evolution. Does creation destroy nature? What lives and what dies. For me things that do not destroy the growth of a culture are natural to that culture. If the compound allowed growth of the culture then it would be a "good" process. However can this process occur being mutually exclusive. Animals themselves aid in the spread of some plant species. Nightsoil and manures help the growth of plants. Can an organism be selfcontained? Logically speaking you are always going to have interactors and objects. My other answer is its a chemicle biproduct of an organic agent. There is some work involved so no its not natural as naturally occuring in nature. However eating wheat grown with petroleum fertalizers the wheat is still organic. What are the effects on the environment etc..?? Everything is natural. Does it allow growth though? how can you escape growth? Does it make me feel good? If it makes me feel good forever then call it whatever you like but lets keep doing it. If it doesn't make me happy lifes not fair.

DONT FORGET LOVE.. its central.. and there is someone through time who watches over you. dejavus are remarkable

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new old rant

Feel like taking a break from the net but its almost bed tommorow then monday.

No matter how odd things may seem if for you there are still questions your asking. Since this could be another last blog I might as well make it a full one.

Regardless of how I got to where i am I'm here. Huge notions fullfillment where ever that comes from some sense of reasurance of contentment of idealism.

In the last few years Ive came into contact with "the system" in various ways, its a bunch of people.

Regardless of what anyone thinks I'm a pretty regular person thats came into pretty unique experiences. Ultimately its everyone living some sense of fullfillment and honestly everyone who is somebody has it and I couldnt imagine the universe any other way.

science is bullocks it largely forms a prison of logic when you understand logic to the core. After that it isn't so much applicable however the sense of feeling sychronus with it is more a guiding light of faith.

Culture is made up of environmental adaptions and remedances of indivduals mnemonics which becomes obscured and or lies..

history itself is unproovable so extending anything outside your own experiences is settting yourself up for issues.

The government system is not interactive its a system of individuals which do not recognize individuals..

militant government such as pretty much all world governments are corrupt faithless cultures..

most faiths are currupt and composed of functionable lies

media is predomonance occurance of importance is reflective predomonance

emotions is somehow tied into everything the basis of mental and physical occurance and/or sensation are infinite occurances however like definition itself generalizisms can be made

money is cultural respect which is currupt culture it represents ownership in a proprietory ownership system that is not social and that system being militant and ownership recognized by law it equates to murder for property.. i.e. selfish society i.e. a lieing culture. i.e currupt.

largely everything is a setup even bridging pain tolerances you yourself is stripped of identity or rather renewed with a base of actuality of what the world is willing to do to you or has presented for an option of experience.

they wont fix it(make it better) and they arn't human...

the world that I'm presented by others and through media is one where a civil person is forced to contantly watch rape of the planet reape of human goodwill and rape of the truth for corrupt cultures that are self incline and self destructive.

I totally get it and I'm who I am I dont feel a need to fight myself I honestly do what I can.

I'm not sure what else to say it was more feeling... people do what they do

the words are second nature but all of this doesn't explain whats in here.

and I'm not sure why I am not just here.

well its pretty much bedtime.. thigs keep on happening Im still self assured.
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you just let me rot and I should hate you for it but I dont even feel that much and on the flip side I dont know how to be anything but me I dont know how to be more then I am. Its a float I have a sense to tear down a whole wall of the masquerade tear it out like a page in a magazine light and all and see behind the image through the tear and what then how many more behind that one. I'm already done more culture more words with their own individual feeling and if you feel me why do we speak. just more expersion and its all half of it is and its you that expresses and its me that tells you or something like that arn't we all the same heh. I'm fine anyway its just more feelings I didn't express

make peole happy right right .;; well goodnight

washing machine.

and a rainbow deep breath smile

this is so near done and i still dont get ya. I can feel it I dont know why I can think it I dont know why about you it doesn't work it just doesn't work. I geuss theres still allot I could have to learn however this was over long ago theres been no door however the walls are falling apart.

life is simple. so bloody so bloody and it melts my mind. and I'm fine.

it makes me hard and that doesn't make sense however the other alternative is to die and I'm already dead it means either I abandon my truth or stay and the world just wont change. Its not complex and its not new... I'm floating. to sum up whatever and the cage is being pounded its makes me sick.

and ofcourse enjoy. peace comes joy comes senses get intermingled all the exterior isn't so much real just a fabrication I dont like it here. and its just making an imposible situation reality to be defied however it may be. I dont get you I really dont get you. seeing inside the box I can understand but the box isn't even there.

madness instanity not so much I'm actually a very stable individual people are liars the idea the world outside of ethics really exists faux I geuss that just the twist of understanding where the sybols go why denie something its life how to understand it more then what is understood how any thing more or less. sciences doesnt make it more multiversal.

tearing out my chest and stomach feasting on me a nice energy orb of light

whatever I can take it down but you know what there no reason to all you do is lie.

and its not new or profound. I get the twist etc.. etc.. why I'm even typing this is mostly irrelavant some more time passes then something maybe happens then maybe more time passes . like i said its nothing new perhaps just a case of extended boredom but my gosh its boredom with allot of background

what it comes down to is that I dont need and definately dont want what the world is giving i.e life sucks but I'm use to it and its ok at moments but it really sucks and is prolly part of the hell that I constantly live in that I've coped with and you know what the situations in full really does really suck but it sucks because people mke it suck and you know what those people really suck. its not more complicated then that really. You people that make things suck really suck. and you know what I could be one of those people but you know what ............./ whatever entertainment seems to be self perpetuated or atleast self recognized.. whatever whatever whatever I'm going to bed and when I get woken up today 88% chance with little or no sleep I have no clue what it will be but what it comes down to tonight it.. the world doesn't change people that suck suck and the world around me is lieing corrupt selfish murderors but I really cant say that for sure cause I dont know anyone other then myself , and finalyl nothign really has meaning cast in stone so its a float where ever I put it but do I really wanna look at the wall and laught my ass off for a few days ???

anyway I'm stable I've cope and it realllly sucks.

thats without going into the background of a complete humanities failure on the part of the world (remarkably not myself if thats fair) although artisitically the world is still kicking my arse. so all in all your very smelly cheese.

and fin.............

ps that was an odd rant I feel fine but its not a good fine. , nothing new. these walls seem so brittle.
______________________________________________________________

ts a fairly fundamental base scientific thought.. what exactly creates the temperature flux of energy? one of the four clasic energy thermo gravity I would suppose which gets into the question of how is an equality segemented purhaps something to figure out tonight

___

ok went for a jog and I came up with a self defining force was able to alter gravity at any given point these gravity fluxes from "balance" of forces caused force to be realived causing difference in thermodynamic force this caused cooling and fluxes " this force somehow could be tied in with personage that is my own will to create caused could create exchange of energy and thus difference in gravity as mass at focal points is relieved.. this exchange of energy works downward with bulges... extra demensios mtheory create a medium for exchanges outside of the 4 demensional reality this general cooling athough represents energy transfer the bio element is there howwevr ones own biological consisten as focal is not the only mediium as it is my beleif that the focal point of self propulsion would also be the point of meaning. why a physical world etc.. exist is another matter the question of the sparkler(in mind.. and the big bang heh.) would be is it a matter of just transfering energy which would be temporaly consisten or is there another end? the idea that matter in higher states may be more protected from antimatter interaction however how antimatter effects conciousness is another question(although its all in play the question of ones own the idea of mdem stri ngs into concious perception the other idea is that anti matter as part of a whitestream matter going into a blackhole could meet with antimatter if some force is capble of seperating antimatter and matter it would seem to be selfincline perhaps this could be a cycle of science and white streams could be a mixer of sorts anyway some just now and some came to me on the jog.. it would seem I still have allot to learn.

***oh and it was much cooler visually....**** maybe more will come to me

oh jog was down to victoria park then back to my place(union and weber area) my tummy was feelin it. ** oh and logic is only half of it.. and science explains interchanges*

ps the other part was the memory element which once again is tied in with mtheory although neurology will state it is storage and retreival by s/r the point of preception of the s/r and exchange of matter are effected by quantum forces the basis of "consistence due to ones own actions does not seem to be contained else there would be no self contained existance rather one must place the difference of point of perception and point of inclination at two different demensional levels since the point of conciousness is teh sum of all parts of the existance.

the next conjecture would be that the collision of antimatter and matter is perhaps a point of basis for "life"

the flux of gravity in part perhaps forms notions such as blackholes which allow the change from solid matter fomrants to pure energy formant... I dont understand this fully yet and just playing with some logics

another previous theory sorta got tied in that being my optics electonal exchange in visual/neural sensory exchange and neruonal synapsis to folical themal transient stages relating to antimatter and matter creation of light and speical divergent particles photons also creating potential for quantum force which is in many ways the "question" of indivduality...

ok due to some reading last night i figured out a magentic feild in a vacume could seperate antimatter and matter


its been a long time since I've posted here well I have today and tommorow befor the court verdict. Below is two blog entries(constant rant of blog not so much edited. Some words first though. I feel I finally get life. It hasn't gotten all nice its been a dirty grimey twisted and horific experience. I'm a nice guy I dont enjoy taking other peoples superiority mentalities cause they arn't. Very simple either you watch the world get torn apart or you go against the grain and live under the threat of death. I'm already dead the threat isn't ideal but all I can do is live. I feel so ill and just falling through space where somehow in a limitless space they get spiking down is somehow aiding the situation in an attempt to make me feel more ill. Its sureal and very climatic I'm very worn and some inlicnation of my response. I dont get how faith has led me here or where I am going. THe imposibility of understanding and the comprehension of encasement. Things still happen. I face blatant social death again in two days its not the first time I get inside the box but I dont agree with the boxes frame. I love when the idea of reasons to hate are so clear. I love because its myself and that is the bare minimun of what I am to live with and all without ever being able to have discourse with myself as myself geuss that would be enlightenment perhaps avoidance of the obvious its more the idea of listening I get to listen if there is more to life then that? sure I'm at a point of expression but am I doing anything more then listening.
another thing I'm what it is.
in faith I make it however its self combustion to explain that


ts a fairly fundamental base scientific thought.. what exactly creates the temperature flux of energy? one of the four clasic energy thermo gravity I would suppose which gets into the question of how is an equality segemented purhaps something to figure out tonight ___ ok went for a jog and I came up with a self defining force was able to alter gravity at any given point these gravity fluxes from "balance" of forces caused force to be realived causing difference in thermodynamic force this caused cooling and fluxes " this force somehow could be tied in with personage that is my own will to create caused could create exchange of energy and thus difference in gravity as mass at focal points is relieved.. this exchange of energy works downward with bulges... extra demensios mtheory create a medium for exchanges outside of the 4 demensional reality this general cooling athough represents energy transfer the bio element is there howwevr ones own biological consisten as focal is not the only mediium as it is my beleif that the focal point of self propulsion would also be the point of meaning. why a physical world etc.. exist is another matter the question of the sparkler(in mind.. and the big bang heh.) would be is it a matter of just transfering energy which would be temporaly consisten or is there another end? the idea that matter in higher states may be more protected from antimatter interaction however how antimatter effects conciousness is another question(although its all in play the question of ones own the idea of mdem stri ngs into concious perception the other idea is that anti matter as part of a whitestream matter going into a blackhole could meet with antimatter if some force is capble of seperating antimatter and matter it would seem to be selfincline perhaps this could be a cycle of science and white streams could be a mixer of sorts anyway some just now and some came to me on the jog.. it would seem I still have allot to learn. ***oh and it was much cooler visually....**** maybe more will come to me oh jog was down to victoria park then back to my place(union and weber area) my tummy was feelin it. ** oh and logic is only half of it.. and science explains interchanges* ps the other part was the memory element which once again is tied in with mtheory although neurology will state it is storage and retreival by s/r the point of preception of the s/r and exchange of matter are effected by quantum forces the basis of "consistence due to ones own actions does not seem to be contained else there would be no self contained existance rather one must place the difference of point of perception and point of inclination at two different demensional levels since the point of conciousness is teh sum of all parts of the existance. the next conjecture would be that the collision of antimatter and matter is perhaps a point of basis for "life" the flux of gravity in part perhaps forms notions such as blackholes which allow the change from solid matter fomrants to pure energy formant... I dont understand this fully yet and just playing with some logics another previous theory sorta got tied in that being my optics electonal exchange in visual/neural sensory exchange and neruonal synapsis to folical themal transient stages relating to antimatter and matter creation of light and speical divergent particles photons also creating potential for quantum force which is in many ways the "question" of indivduality... ok due to some reading last night i figured out a magentic feild in a vacume could seperate antimatter and matter





beautiful day today lots of sun laying in the grass stretching and getting some light went for a jog in the park which was very nice oddities I found a pair of what looks lke male tearaways that may have looked like some young teens clothes that was in the park in like late july or something a blue and orange shirt/sweater was there as well unsure if its a squat or a ditch wel they are there anyway ended up picking up a tenis ball filled with earwigs which was like whoa they seem maybe a little angsty after being shook flying out as I opened up the slice also found a redeye bouncy ball which is like hte third or so ball I've found jogging something like that. today was great is great other then this just some reading on nmap and more port reading trying to see what tcp port 6 *unassigned may be used for on a comp on the lan. anyway no idea what the rest of today will bring maybe some fluids and reading but I feel so content that today should be another day soon and back to the ok already court fast approaches my mind is a water wired jelly of amazing peices of electricity right now both just like ENDORPHINES and mygosh 1. summer is ending unless I get the heck out of this side of the rock and 2. getting shot may really suck 3. what the heck do I do if they DONT do anything(which seems the most blatantly ignorant and insulting course of action so it may very well be the result I'm not gonna go into the court stuff again cause I've been over it SO MANY TIMES.. a. get shot b. the A$$es get screwed c. they put me out again where a. dhs wont intercourse with me but htey will send me al ltheir press releases b. NO way am I swimming unless I grow fins and gills c. it aint north cause north is cold d. this place drives me nuts with snow. and the squirels are hibernating. no worries the world fucks with you like that cause it can so it seems. anyway today I have grapes some light and and a little mystery what tommor will bring just might be today and until then hasta leugo mi amoures las tierra anyway perhaps more of this until some of that.. hmm no long rant about human courses.



end to what Monday August 23, 2004 [Delete post] Ok yes rantity rant. HA!!!! peace !!! HA!!!! I've come to expecf that if I expect theres some part of disapointment created and really I dont have any appointments so why the expectation. OK if your reading this for any reason other then you really have nothing other to do then read this, take a moment ot consider your continuance. Ok now that that is out of the way shakespear and others sililique note I'm not keen on actually spelling a word I use twice my entire life well under 20 times prolly. NOte that that was apoint if your still following good for you.. I would hope.

Ok I've gone through so much in my x years of ??? occurance. I feel like i'm to a pretty layed back fundamentalist part of my life you know that part where it seems imposible you can ever have a regonized difference of opinion in your beleifs well if you dont then whatever if you do then why are you reading this? ah but really.

I've coped and is that to say its been bad.. not so much the rationalization of :it happened" has to set in.. and what exactly was it if you think about it long enough you come to relize that all your past is pretty much NOTHING it only holds definition in the moment your in. and although it seems a clash between logical occurance it can never be the same again. Yet the closeness to the moment you were in when you felt it or the moment within the moment etc.. and still what does it mean.

Well the other side seems the rational of continuing the perception that we understand and there is some type of definitive occurance occuring and in a merit of symbolic qualitia it seems that in some jelly like way there just might be but its not so much an outward thing. SOrta like two the mirror and the reflection The paradox and the empire the self feeling and the notions of creation for the emotion contained in the act and the mirroring of vision timelessly what exactly is meant to be? Its not being trapped in that.. anyway.

Culture and environment politics on nature and nature to coplaicency and the twist of balances whereever that line may be drawn and going back to the imposibllity of anything more then a point of meaning.

Its not complex unless youd like it to be. I have another few days till the verdict. I'm looking foward to it. Its weird because I dont so much feel obligated to be there but I honestly have no idea what the result will be. It somewhat sucks sorta the witnesses lied the court hold no absolute powers the culture is corrupt the government is negligent the faith is faithless etc.. etc.. Honestly this planet has been very trying in and of itself and I more so recognize the court of nature beyond a court within a court whose basis in history is control of the population for which it serve although that rule is controled by the population which controls etc.. etc.. meaning as some point somebody really isn't doing what they are suppose to cause they cant because the system doesn't allow it. but it works right and things are able to be done anyway. I geuss I"m an idealist in a world that speaks trash and great things happen yes they do of course there is so much TRASH and its all wonderful right, they keep telling me the world that is that we will exterminate you but logic says that I cant die and I feel desire of feeling its more building a mentality of acceptance of feeling regardless of what that is but still part of me is fighting certain emotions or atleast passing them off to a closer likeness to "myself" whoever that is.

I'm very tired not a big fan of being here but at the same time faminous blighted journey sorta isn't my cup either. So I'm where I am. The phone rings, there is no answer except perhaps that silence of relization that nobody has picked up leavng a clear message whatever that may be. I feel like I need to wash out my insidees just hook up a hose and flush everything and that somehow after I rince my body I'll feel better I feel like tearing my skull off too not so muc but the hair that I had with me for so long it now diapearing forming into a single "THING" but falling off my head in some wig of sorts.

THe idea of devotion meanwhile someone who doesn't answer the bloody phone as to give instructions to the faithful. other then relax we can talk in person. real comedian . look into the light two doors to the right remember to flush. wow what a message must remember but where did I put my sunglasses. LIfe is odd and I"m oddly stable. Days left why am I even writting about this well I can't say what happens in the future but still SEE IT DOESN't get more NORMAL what happens is that it gets more blatant. See I'm NOT in agreement with their social values.. the catch is they ARN"T NICE.. and they "say" they will kill you in writting and tehy dont discus cause it sseems they are narow minded and uninsightful. but at some level its the bloody world if I were to play a game of world and self which really has no basis. I could be doing this same thing sitting on a rock in some black void maybe with a yoyo and I may get the opertunity.

I so wonder why the heck this life why are people a$$'s is it karmic and my faith is just an a$$ and I havn't relized it yet. Cause it has more of a "full" aspect that really is questionable to be any fullness. Well I feel what I feel a few days left and this doesn't get any more :culturally complaicent: they them and maybe you are just plain fucked in the head not cause you are but because your oblivious to the obvious and I get you mght get that and feel all smart cause you are but at the same time your really stupid cause you thing you are smart for not being so obvious but you ARE if that makes any sense.

See if/when I get shot and reality breaks down on atleast one major philosophical viewpoint I wont have to so much question my immorality but the reasoning of happening. and you know what I am that answer I'm not sure I can know it though.

I could say what ifs what if the case just gets dismised.. well off to immigratio n for another chance at being shot

what if you get recognized well off to ??????? to ??????? what if they get tried for purgery well off to immigration for another change at being shot.

1. they have to WAKE UP and understand that I am not a slave to a government that wont even talk to me. 2. they have to relize they are fucked in the head and it isn't something they should continue being 3. I dont like it here and I have to and thats not good enough 4. its not just about me whoever that is but I dont want to know about the world and all the crap if nobody gives a damn and I have to beat people into a pulp to walk someone across the street.

5. why they hell should i Have to walk someone across the street wake UP walk your own fucking arse across teh street and dont whine that you cant. 6. but of course it cant be that simple CANT IT cause nothing is that obvious instead its this bloody good bad happy sad I shouldn't sound bitter or inhumane cause I honestly do care about humanity but Im sooo tired soooooooooooo tired.

I would say you people suck but alas I udnerstand it just my impression of you people and theres a good chance I dont really need to piss of people I'm stuck in a sub runnign out of oxygen with althoug listening to your whining latter on might not be the main issue.

anyway enjoy.

I have a few days left till full chaos comes back and I feel ok its a pretty nice day.

no idea I feel ok.

party party party.....

We all know there isn't really a real loop only a real fake loop. Which means it actually must be a you guessed it a square. However it would seem there is infact a real loop in the square.

END LOOP

OK a new rant. I really am fine. Lifes all fucked up however I get it. Its getting climatic not cause it has to be but cause theres a whole bunch of crap I need to get out of the way and in order to do that I have to put my sense of reality on the line. The world wont let me have a normal life so my normal life is abnormality. The odd part is its all very basic and not odd at all. Get it. Life goes on, and if I dont fucked if I know what happened.



passing thought of how much longer my hair will hold out it feels thinner and thinner and thinner even more will this be relavent in my overall existance what is left of it definately a roller coaster that is feeling like its only going down down down and reminisant of not seat belted flume drops...... must exercise more for exercise reminds me of body. all I know that this summer will be a milestone after which I'm not sure if or where it will go. Since last summer I've had my perspective and over the last year it has been settling during the winter it played out and the ideas became reality there is no ground to loose that I'm aware of I've been to the edge. with age comes irrevavence of contemplation and at the same time the prevalence of matured stakes. its quite obvious what some things may be for the situation in its full perspective still plays off as sensation vs ideals how is there control of those ideals when hence they fail to materialize and compatibility of any intent or dream for creation seems wrapped in magnitudes of knowledge and how true is that knowledge outside of beleif. The thought a few days ago that regardless of what I understand I am unable to know what something is the formulation of understanding things to a level of living however that level fails to provide however the provision itself is wrapped in emotions which cannot be accessed or understood in any sense of logic thus an embra? Im not sure why i used the word embra but to say that it is held in a type of stasis.. all I can do is live life and uphold what I know of humanity regardless of the perceptions of knowledge I can extract from my suroundings giving a sense of identity in perception how sensation can be life without perception seems abandonment I'm not sure if its right I'm not sure if its humanly posible, not that I'm so much stuck to that frame, the situation is so clear and understood in understanding where the lines are drawn in absolute and balances it seems that we always are at an absolute and still seem driven broader in some qualitia which was previously unknown. anyway it doesn't change anything I am where I am I feel what I feel and the life I live is what I am presented or grasp of feeling to manifest........ its the question of perceptions role do I hold perception or does it hold me???????????????? I do not seek to be god in logic I understand however in logic it is a prison its all..... just that....... I wake up tommorow and if I dont and youre reading this.................................................................. well you go on. whatever though right.

I've learned that there are two types of redundancy technicle redundancy such as "the redundancy" so it would be two types technicle and human confusion. technicle may be able to be eradicated I'm not so certain human confusion can be until human itself becomes technicle and human is not able to be a machien rather parts of human can take on characteristics of a machien those that are not confused by the logical recognitions and abstracions of the humans emotive characteristics to create mnemonic artifacts that can yeild a lasting feeling either taking form as memory or as a token of memory often showcased through the trades art that is intentional creation however the idea that there is intention is confused in the temporal sense of human thus creating segements of meaning in a closed time time itself would seem to be redundant never the less it is a characteristic of "life" so to say that life creates redundancies is not so much true the human confusion is that every moment made has some signifigant meaning while at the same time the tokens to memory which are cast may not be desired hence the idea of redundancy to yeild characteristics that create common sequences in the emotive logics however the difference being that worldy emotive and internal emotive do not necisarily create common memories as the creation as human is still created thus the tokens of memory may not be closed segements ... so all in all technicle redundancy is easily removed however there first must be some feeling sought at the same time self creation that is intent may change the feeling that is expressed thus expressionism vs. creationism the expression is the point of art where as creationism is having the expression held however creating expression upon expression that being the idea is not actually the idea but the idea of an idea.... redundancy in effect is thought... however thought is characteristic of self perception? and self perception a characteristic of existance either self cast or by the idea of another thing beleving in your existance at the same time to say that that object really exists without self recognition is imposible much like nonethical logical interactions with perceived concious things. To live without relizing your own existance is questinable however knowing you live beyond the point of emotion is confused as it is a constant state so it goes to redundancy not being redundant rather the characteristics of redundancy are counter creationism and intent however technicle technicle is creationism and empirical.. so to say you are creating is to say you are destroying your own sense of life and yeilding your own sense of life to take your life so it might say that that meets the requirements for relization of existance however still doesn't remove the emotive. essential redundancy is anything which is not part of the process so defining the process and intent is required to remove the redundancy. the reason why technicle redundancy is the only formulated desire is to say that there are undesired repeated segements in life meaning a creator must be there that is creating balance balance yeilds conflict. on the expression side what you have is enjoyment of life. expression will still create in pure virtue the creator itself is still expression however the creation of identies to create differences to stop redundancy you must stop the creator to stop the creator you must stop existance. techicle redundancy may be removable at the same time I doubt human confusion ever can be.

for a while now I've totally felt like the world has had it out for me for my childhood misconducts that really arn't so much misconducts I was and always in my mind be innocent atleast in any sense away from full being although at some level in this real it must be its just that fluid motion taking it one way brought me pain and things often get turned into a taoist oposition for me feeling in some ways caught on the wrong side of some christian fundamentalist ethical conspiracy .. I've managed to cope with everything and have an extremely down to earth sense now really what can I do I can't cause myself harm so why do i have the notion of harm? the whole movie idea was long ago lost sorta like living your life as a character reading lines that someone else made for you but I've gotten over that oh its gotten really dark for me not having any support and the support that may be seen feels more like an attempt to control me and not to help me its not that I need help its that for me to live in the world the world needs help the technology push just seems so dominant weather is lightening up though I can't really be preoccupied with it all. Im getting old I geuss but i still feel really young that forever young mentality now if it only felt right I can feel right I do feel right however IT necisarily doesn't. loose your mind right. All the games the seeming of people trying to make the best lives for themselves even at the cost to others.. just study and more study bouncing from one idea to the next sceince just keeps you pinned atleast as long as society damns you. Like was said though the weathers warming maybe some time in the sun I dont see how anyone could choose to live in a frozen land but history tells that story and some people seem to like it. time marches on right its not really thought however the sense of faith is reassuring. its experience right i may not be playing its still coming though. Standards right I'm just not selfconcious that way I geuss.......... its gonna happen and when it doesn't its not so much my issue at that point

A sense of normalcy. Go with the flow you know. Its complete bullshit but this paper is about normalcy right well goes back to the progression etc.. etc.. For me July if I get there its such an impalation as it will be another closure. Around me is a sense of normalcy cultures materialisms creation industry and progression. It doesn't change it and I'll not so much play the game I'm just so tired. July will be here tommorow I'm not preoccupied maybe some sunshine inbetween. Goes back into everything else as if teenage angst is finally coming to a close right where it started perhaps unnoticed with everything have complete meaning and now what meaning does complete have. Its weird cause I'm not like into that feeling of spiritual convulsion so much anymore like someone who is tortured daily or someone who has sex daily perhaps the scales just get tipped thing is what scales are there really. I'm fine it just keeps on going I can't really imagine death its those same feelings but in new perspectives. I have no responsiblity and I'm not complaining about that I have no survival and I'm not complaining about that. I feel sorta like a dick but I'm so not. Date: Tue, 12 Mar 1996 22:57:00 EST
From: laura_Gekeler@sil.org <laura_Gekeler@sil.org>
Subject: The origin of a certain vulgarity

Without intending to be vulgar or inappropriate for
this list, I'd like to raise a few questions.
While watching a movie with my brother-in-law this past
week, we began converse about the usage of vulgarity.
We were watching a film made in the 90's, but set
during the years 1947-1973 or so in an upstate New York

..........
Also, do any of you have any philosophical theories as
to why human beings might choose to describe themselves
and their activities through the use of vulgarities?
As is the habit on this list, I'll summarize the
responses I may get...

________________________________________
Words are how you understand them there is the idea that we have a variety of feelings some relaxing some edgey etc.. we then equate feelings to ones we like and ones we would prefer to not expreience. Word meanings have also been various over time words can have slow shifts into other meanings root forms can sometimes explain the sources. As far as vulgarity what is vulgarity something you see as undesired??????? something that upsets you or forces you to question your comfortable little life. There just seems to be some experiences that are generalized as desirable or undesirable if someone pushed you to the ground and called you turnip all the time you might develop a dislike for the word turnip. At the same time the media culture may latch on to meanings that are "trendy" where the meanings may be relative to an actiivity or people. Derogatory may denote to base human characteristics of pleasure comfort and security some peopple like excitement so when language and actions usages threaten those desires then trends against those words may develop. The cultural issue is that there is a mix of culture and authority structures some opposable and some common. When someone from one structure uses a word in one way while the other structure uses the word in another way then it can be used as an authority tool and often without taking one side into consideration. Vulgarities themselves and the symbolic meanings of pronunciation linguistic bases can be locked into the cabbalistic vaults the idea of vulgarity means that there are behaviors which are not desirable for people. The words themselves arn't vulgar but the ideas assosiated with the words to create social layers while FUCK or CUNT may be veiwed as relating to mindless sex to screw someone ect.. while CUNT might be a word to describe not only anatomy but also those assosiated with that anatomy. Where PUSSY or BITCH or HOE or SLUT may be seen as derogatory to some people to others they might be varying types of status symbols it could be like saying this is my girlfriend or have you met my wife, or even hay this is my freind hey this is my BITCH.. of course the derogatory isn't :necisarily: derogatory like word meanings change through cultural fallout the negative senses perhaps for words like NIGER/NIGGA or REDNECK or WHITETRASH while some people who veiw stereotyped behaviors belonging to a certain sense within those groups if you can really group people is that the internal veiws hold a sense of identity and culture having a certain base in which to build from where there may have been a period that members of the KKK thought they were the shit and still may think so it may not quite in public veiw still be seen the same way but what do I know. Ideas like GAY or HOMO may have been derogatory or intented derogatory by some people some sense of GAYPRIDE etc.. came out of it. Really censorship and words actually enhance the meanings for people they like to cling to the ideas that there are special words that will spice up events more then what a normal dialouge can do like YAH FUCK YOU BUDDY to one person might be like OH I'm soooo mad... to another it might mean signal next time. Vulgar words are special in the way that various cultures or subcultures have adapted their uses where the words meaning for say FUCK would be a very very long list and some not at all vulgar. Just like cream could be used in many ways not only in singular but in chain sequence going into ideas of NLP. How it seems is that most media/communication comes down to hierachies of expereince we get introduced to actions and words and they create something in a s/r on the stimulus response level then in order to create an experience we end up using the action or word where it seems appropriate and understandable from there it just keeps on building all our interactions create a greater and greater sense for the word or action as in some AI wordnet type programs. The human characteristic still has the unknown which goes back to the cabbalistics of word usages they could actually be bad words BUT I don't beleive in real bad things just misunderstood experiences and everything leads to an even better experience cause we have all the past moments good and to be good once we work them out to draw from. It goes into cultural identity like most post base roots humanity vulgarities can be a form of abstraction filler too something you dont really know how to explain like when someone says fuckyah it may be filling a void for the textures within this object create sensations in me that bring me to raptures of joy. The expression to those that are commonly aligned to that persons expression will know the person that says FUCKYAH is having a good time. Its all expressions of emotion so it seems. Not sure if this answered your question as i didn't give say ebonic examples etc.. however its the general idea of the LOGIC of Vulgarity. I beleive in open expression as long as it doesn't cause people pain in a greater and greater subculture bases it just gets sorta extreme because in order to appease some people others have to cut stuff out and cutting back expression seems so contrary to growth of expression the standardization of culture is a cure to this.. its a mad mad world having shit that can upset you is just fucked up expecially when its other peoples fucking language.

An open system is one where there is very little control over the population at large generally this means a very simple code of conduct that is close to the base of human culture.

A closed system is one where there are a large number of preestablished codes of conduct rituals and customs that the society is expected to adhear to.

An open system may leave conduct up to interpretation rather abstractions are not formed beyond the basic ideas for instance Behavior which are actions for the benifit of the individual or one specific person over the benifit of society as a whole should not occur. Or any action which threatens the food or water supply should not occur. Punishements are generally absolute resulting in exile or death as anything which threatens the fundamentals of the working society are to be removed, there is the posibility of no punishment rather something which occurs is unavoidable and it serves as a lesson to the whole community. Open communities can also be increadably forgiving and inviting because they understand the fundamentals of interaction.

A Closed system establishes a system for interpretation common in judicial systems although there is a varying ammount of leadway for the interpretation sometimes dependant on previous establishment of conditions at the extreme this involves physical characteristics which tend to develop in totalitarian systems. The extreme would be only walking a certain way only people that look a certain way it has and continues to show itself in societies around the world.

The LEFT RIGHT mentality doesn't so much apply there is the idea of controls and definitions. Where an open system places characteristics on base cultural understanding rather then established cultural systems. Closed systems often create culture and culture clash the ideas of racial supremecy and human rights are often highlighted in closed systems. Extreme closed systems can be genocidal.

The idea of personal mentality and social mentality in culture can contrast personal mentality may hold a very established conduct and personal can reflect onto a cultural mentality resulting in a sense of definition. Somewhere in this process revelation and understanding develop when the self definition can be cast to other instances differences can be drawn. When you break down the fundamental points you find commonalities. Eventually commonalities are discovered between differences and more defined oppositions occur. At some point paradox is discovered and balances are created. Those balances render differences negligable, and a blank slate occurs. In many respects it marks an existential mark both in personal and social experience.

Reformation is creation by worldly interaction the ideas formed in the environment create happening experiences and feeling. A fundamental mentality could be seen as a ultraclosed system however if that fundamental system is based upon open system mentality then it would be a closed open system which would be an absolutely open system. Formations within that system could take anyform however the signifigance of those occurances would be abstractive.

How humanity and fundamental notions such as morality or human spirit are expressed would seem to be at the base of human emotion the morphism through the cultural collidoscope would be removed and the identity of perspective of experience vs. the idenity of intention and classification. The idea of human artistry vs. human creation. Artistry not in the intention of creation but in the expression of creation. Creation as construction for a purpose would be classed upon requirements which have been defined and have not yet occured. A zen perspective of society would be living the human experience and establishing a system which can facilitate the experience. The world itself by default should be the facilitator and the mentalities inherent in our interactions.

The mentality is inherent of a faith based system however understanding is removal of the faith perspective instead having no reliance for actuality that is faith as occurance of interaction. That point seems a problamatic expression of human conciousness. The duality vs. the singularity. The ideo of the singular dualism is what forms in a sense of artistry. That is understanding the the united funamental and understanding the interactions of symbolic systems.

How and why systems occur is a muse of sorts the construction, alteration of these systems seems easily understood in fundamental. However the paradox of experience creativity and comprehension of feeling beyond its expressions seems mystified.

OFFLINE

Space travel and time the two final frontiers in science. I begrudging accept science as a facet of my reality, society seems to accept it when time is solved it becomes symbolic much like it already is. hmm

..

the way the world seems to be is one filled with individual pursuits and social complaceny the ideas of the newer generations being molded by the values of previous ones.

I wasn't "officially or normally" from the lowlevel instructed what I know on the highside I'm not gonna go overboard the world tought me much of what I know from my inner intuition and the full aspect of self.

what are the issues? what is worth a dialouge that deals with humanity, without the issues or call of line is humanity even something in itself?

For me the issues are somewhat superficial cause I don't exert a sense of intent in exercising power upon the world instead I am daintily going from one spur to the next in a quite obvious manner leaving a trail of my being where I go. I can clearly state what I value though and from that issues can be created in times of reduction. My two cheif loves are Nature and Love, I to enjoy the luxuries of technology however between technology and nature I would gladly choose nature. There are many reasons why but it comes down to grasping ones reality and choosing to live within linearism or a world so vast fully uncomprhensible nature is seen as preconsturction except in god state technology is an adaption of nature and understood, if I lived my life in understanding is it life. Nature has the gap, technology has the pursuit.

Love to me is a social openness and respect being able to express yourself in a manner which spreads the warmth knowing that what you are doing is accepted and welcome. Current society to me does not seem loving because it is delegated and generally closed and majority and representatively administered it is not a forum it is not open it is largely what we cannot do it also establishes a hierarchy which controls control is not love freedom is love(a question of god hence a need for dualism). This just makes it imposible so until the society advances or reverses itself for me love seems a closed instance and takes away from my joys, there just isn't the understanding and we continue to grow, its not that it really feels right anymore there is just so much complication of the simplicities but perhaps saying it is because of society isn't right since i always have my freedoms it is just that the respect part is confused since I feel obligated to give leadway to the "less knowing", with that attitude and lack of open communiction it seems a vicious cycle, of course with loss of nature realism as sochasm gives way to linearism and with linearism absolutes can be acheived, hence technology creates the borg and overmind from that clear "respectful" choices can be made.. if true respect were exercised I would be uncertain to act.. so it becomes a haze if it is relized then it will be considered if it is overlooked then it is gods choice. So my heart is left wanting and imposible for me to act only in acceptance is it relized and complication demands kismit which adds to the imposibility of mutual love. It's just what it is I'm not overly concerned paralysis is only momentary I seem bound to some form of forward motion. So what can I do, it seems that love is just in acceptance and a wait an engagement that is beyond my reason.

So nature is something that i am brought to it is all around me, it seems that technology and nature are at odds nature providing technologies birth and the cycles of nature are changed into the artificial cycles of technology nature is a technology of sorts and technology and extension of nature it is just the feelings evoked of the two are different for me. I prefer a tree to a car a rock to a computer but I can find joy in the car and computer however in seeing the full scope of the car and computer in that it has somehow damaged/changed the nature i love while the tree and rock act symbiotically with me making me healthier and stronger. Technology seems more neutral what we already have is perfected through technology but wasn't it already perfect to begin with.. well rationality comes in and perhaps some bugs. Its made imposible again with either one or the other nature says look at what we had get lost in the wonder, while technology says it works this way and then what? Nature alone is a dream but what is left of real? Is that ideal? It seems like it is to me but inside my memory and around this city nature is not alone it isn't the eden that seems sought. All I can do is to help nature survive and grow and for its beauty to shine, it tells me what it would like nature as part of god. For me I must loose my memory or time or space must end in the flow a scientific end point that says it is here and now science is a facet of my real by that I mean that I still exist without science, I am paradoxial both logical and illogical science explains much of the logic through an expansion of empirical explinations of symbolism with a strong emphesis on space and time those two symbols are key elements.

To me self and feeling are the core to my reality with time creating differene in feeling along with memory and space providing a home for the world. A sense of fragmentation of god, A question of real is the ethics of the fragmentation for me I am one with god. Scientifically i could explain it as a filtered frequency from the source of reality that is my scientific conciousness it is all one conciousness but still the fragmentation shows itself in the conciuos and unciouncious.. if there is an unconcious for the sake of respect I leave the option for others conciousness, however I have the sense that ultimately it is just a show god is in control(dualism). My god is one of love this life can hardly be seen as a concern hence the question of "issues" I will be cared for and the future will be the way it is meant to be for the good of love.

After science is a dream world of symbolism.. am I alive with only a dream? To me the balances don't matter so much all I seek is love anything less the sense of pain or hurt just isn't fair and as such seems deflected as something which goes to a morning of being forgotten and given hurt. I can say i am alive cause in the moments that pass I have an expectation if my hidden expectations the extent of who I am from a basis of standards are not matching with the moment then pain can be created generally those standards are selffullfilling it is the ego everything seems broken I'm tortured forgetting seems the easy answer or to spend my time trying to patch things "working" to "fix" the things.. inside rationalizing its all how its suppose to be why fix things.. that is the regression to nature but what is the enviroment I'm in. I'm not concerned with the lines all I want is love and happiness and anythign else that I want. Why it isn't a dream I'm not sure is it for life? I've been over this befor living the moment how is there anything else.. a breath in memory.. something i say sometimes it is what it is, I can make that or I can take that. peace. yk

its about acceptance will the self be lost? for me that is an imposibility, so love.

the past and future are unknowns here and now is what is, where validity exists seems a matter of ethics. living inside a dream.


i thirst or loose my lost self do I push the stone or play with it?

"back to home" Bill's Rant

The post and route to the article and comments

Reading the comments and the article the same points come to mind. 1. Government is the people it is only when the people do not have voice that democracy no longer exists. 2. Its a matter of environemnent,technology seems to contrast environment facilitating ease. Culture further enhances beleif in technology as opposed to primal natures. I personally feel government should have capability to do anything which it has the mandate to do and that is to be the will of the people in instituting programs to which will improve the standards/qualities of life. At the same time in most represenative non100% agreement government that is non forum systems there are voices that do not have actual say in the actions. It is with proper acknowledgement of the needs through vision of society that the people are the person to which government makes and effects laws. The alternative is more technology to insure the beleif in individuality and privacy. Wether this truely exists in an owned and managed infrastructure is another matter. At the same time messures to prohibit protection mechanisms such as encryption shows that true privacy is not "socially" acceptable however culturally and within a capitalist society individual merits of life and well being is vested in the personal realm. That is to say that society is individually created however bound by laws(ethical notions) that prohibit acts which constitutes true personal endevour. It is only in the cases of the administration which is able to use individual methods that is to say that the administration is individual where as the population has no individual rights. Enter in media/culture and hostile environent(pollution and weather extremes) it makes the situation more apparent. The real question is what is the reason for being able to intercept communications? Well it is the beleif in a threat.. that is to say there is already suspicion... and what proof constitutes that. It would seem to be gathering evidence on member of the society that the administration seems as counter the mandate and cultural expectations of the individual(government). Which has the right to maintain that the population does not have open expression. It is a control mechanism. If government was an 100%majority that is everyone has the same vision and that vision was in good intent and actuality you would see that protection become somewhat redundant except from external sources. However in a society which people do not communicate openly that is to say people have intent that counters the administration and the will of the people. So if the people are not allowed to be individuals there rights to privacy and the need for secrecy is redundant. If the people are individuals then there is no government. Issues of powerstructure and control come into effect at which point society is not so much a union rather it is an envrionment of objectivity that is a state of war. In a state of war population control and boycotts blacklists etc.. especially in the instance of a fascist capitalist society come more and more into effect. Of course wether you feel the need for privacy or not is to say that you are an individual in which case you open up the second instance. However at the same time the environment of anti trust and pursuits seen as evil or counter good nature seem rooted from early civilization and the pantheons babylon egypt etc. THe pursuit of civilization within a sense of technology is counter nature thus evil as a moral inherent in intentful application. Of course good will in an ethical regard has new notions as the ethics of a situation in a cultrally progressed and technologically layered society is one in which the meanings of good intent are confused to the point of misunderstanding original intents. True privacy is to say that one is an individual and alone in the world. Why hide things from yourself. Although in finality I feel that an open unified natural society is ideal however the way in which life and nature is in foodchain places just this life as primary to understanding of the full deal. Modernism and application of full context of reality proove two seperate instances. I don't have anything to hide however I could respect other peoples wishes to but I dont beleive in fear as a human emotion nor do I beleive that any action is one which will in lasting notion be harmful and that isn't modernisitically realistic in an ethical good/evil reality.

For the good of society. What is it what is the world. It seems to progess more and more definition in its wake. Why is a passing thought and a timeless definition shows itself over and over. God as the definitive puzzle peice. For the world if I choose what is best for everyone then I must be doing what is right inside my feeling is reasuring however within a sense of game and superficially time and time again I get more and more removed more and more animalistic. The world goes the other way with industrialized mechanicle creations. Its a current it drags me along and why is this world as such. The world in control but thats me isn't it. Like I said whatever.

One thing I have come to accept is that I never finish anything. The other thing would seem to be if I die I die whatever an end to hell or the heaven I get that always seems to fade away.
My life sums up as I didn't remember my childhood so who knows it might have been nice, I moved so much I never made lasting freinds till grade 6 afterwhich I went from elementary 1 year to junior high for two years met a few people which although at times I talked with in some cases were also bloody bastards. Then to highschool where I met some new people, I'm amazed I wasn't a complete loner and if I was I think I may have turned out more normal. I had some fun and roleplaying was sort of interesting. I ended up going through a I am so bloody tired phase which I never really came out of in grade 10. WHich led to my schoolings decay note my parents worked and I hardly talked to them my entire life, which could be normal for many. Then I was forced to start working at 17 or so which I'm sure is a good age for mature people to start working if not earlier.. maybe not full time but part time atleast. Well I didn't have a clue about life and it definately prolly wasn't what was best for myself at the time but whatever it happened if I would of had amphetimines in grade 10 I'm thinking I would have made it through but I geuss that is just another joke. So I lightly start to party and really drugs arn't really my thing however I by assosiation start to experiment cause I really havn't got a clue why not heck my lifes been fucked up on par anyway what do I got to loose, well it wasn't my virginity, but I did spend some money. I like raving actually I loved it and like all things I love they get torn and crushed infront of me not relizing what I am missing until it is happening, which I've gotten use to. So a budy convinces me to switch jobs which was sorta good but the guy my boss was a complete liar. The result was me bieng fired because well he was an asshole. I was imposed to start working for my old boss again but it meant shit to me except originally "helping" her out. Of course after the time I was suppose to help her out it just started dragging past that point to the level of assumption that I was working for her again which I didn't want to.. luckily her brother while I was in a highstress moment attacked me verbally which completely gave me the perspective to say fuckit and I wrote my letter of resignation. So then I had allot of time to myself.. a year two years anyway. I got perspective figured out reality and now this world is crap I don't owe people anything actually they made a prison for me and they show no bloody respect there is no interaction. I really don't give a fuck and I'm not playing by their rules anyone trys me its over. Either for me or them and from my perspecitive when its over for me its over. The bloddy game is fucking rigged and people give me nothing but shit largely. You know what though I'm able to cope and really I beat them, I beat myself. It is just the way the world is all these social norms and expectations remove me from society laws stop me from really living and industry and enviroment say I can't just live with nature.. not that nature if friendly always either. Its just a hellish fucking world and time time time. I know what the ideal is and thats what I live towards then people and things bloody get in my way giving me a sense of attitude or superiority. whatever.
Childhood vs. Adulthood
As a child you don't know what alive is. As an adult you are unable to live.
eh anyway.. I thought the comparison childhood innocence vs. the rationality of a logic based reality to the point of faith human death through understanding.. it is still life but the whole child thing not really understanding the full impact of thier lives.. perhaps..

A little while latter
this is becoming increasingly redundant
Know what it is.. that its suppose to be something more something better idealic.. whatever if it hasn't happened yet and logic is flawed.. theres nothing I can really do while still being me. I tryed and you know what I'm me. Whatever. I can't destroy I can't build in an owned world, I can't communicate with out politics or culture. Still Im in this world with technology and all because it is what I've grown to accept in this inhospitable realm. Industry and climate extremes took away the sense and natural joys while the rules of living make me what I am. No choice except in death and natures laws says I am to live. Logical truth says logical flaws a cancelation and no messurement to live. Society a cultural lie moving closer to the truth with no grounding and destroying the road back. If I'm not good and logical I am evil and I cannot accept as good an evil me. I'm trapped, the world putting more wieght on my bones. What am I suppose to do? The next night sept 7th Learning to love a frozen hell.


Does anyone wanna kill me? Like for real culturally and everything. Cause I'm like living this death of life and it is like a few things are becoming clearer. Either I'm gonna kill everyone, or Piss off a bunch of people eventually who are still playing the life game.

So what is the answer? What was the question. I'm just doing this thing and you do what you do. Unity enlightenment, why the show? What is with the show. If people like it it can't be all that bad. Why tastes we know what is good. So I have this role of me to be.

It goes back to the first thing all the layers and cultural misconceptions. But it is what they think is right. Yah so I geuss that is so much ego I'm oblivious to there being a difference of me being right of course I'm right it's me.

Yah the world care care what am I suppose to care about is taking something for granted a way of saying you accept it. Then I get the sense of guilt, what guilt it happened. But but what about all the bad things, it happened, what does it matter. How does someone live at this point. Well by living cold country technology I'd use the word eplastimy I'm not sure it actually has meaning though. I'm not upset I'm just so ZONED. All the tantilizations like I could be in a enviroment that sane humans live in. Yah I get the feeling I'll be a spaceman cause space is the only place that could be more maddening in a yah I'm not mad but it'd be nice to be way.

Love love of course love, it'd be even more loving if I had a chance for physical contact with something that I got the sensation loved me, and I'm not completely deprived. Its the world right its taking those things for granted, it is there though.

Why did it happen this way why this life. Well it is, enjoy it. So many people I could kill with good reason but why? I could be here typing this message. Positive settiments positive settiments. Just more time more time more time more time more time.

It's all good. An old old old man and what if nothing changes. Well atleast I'll be really god at doing this.

Is there a break from the loop? Well it's progression. Summer is only 6 months away... this again .. SUMMER WHERE ARE YOU.. the thaw I can't wait till the thaw, fresh air. dec 7th
I have no reason to think. So it goes. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Why am I here? Logic fails to explain because it doesn't match with the scenario. Now what am I suppose to do without a logical grounding. Am I fooling myself by saying paitence? Sleeping feels like a waste of time when this place isn't desired, what more is there what does it matter? Nothing to work towards nothing I need to do. I'm not mad I'm not going to willingly throw myself into the wilds done that and by far wasn't a desirable experience regardless of the feelings along the way, the ending results just arn't worth the journey. I'm not suicidal I value life and the death I live. All the answers and you know what I don't need to think cause what this is about tells me that so What is this about? NO LOGICAL ANSWER. Is it brute force time, well I'd have to abandon sanity and with my mentality that would be short lived more so contrary I already have abandoned sanity and you know what I'm stable mad. So? Is it time to walk out of the house and freeze myself? Cold ins't good. It's a freaken prison of eviromental and political culture. Its the planet its the people its the culture. I generally don't write negative settiments cause I dont like them but I did. Whatever this continues. I could wake up latter today with a completely new mentality for now though..... what to do? I went for a jog to the park and stared at the icelake with the lights reflecting off of it.. interesting veiw and it was releiving to run through the city in the middle of the morning 4am with next to no one around sept for the odd taxicab another draft
dec 6th The keys to living rationally in an illogically based reality.

1. An absolute moral code that allow the facilitation of your ideals/faith *this seems to be contrast against ethical world systems where peace of mind may come through the exercise moralcode and faith ethical realistic living may not be posible due to social forces, that is where life or death is created, social death for moral living)

2. understanding love(joy, pleasure, peace, warmth, outpouring of care, and acceptance of the worlds expressions of love)

3. acceptance of ones emotions and translation of those emotions to relations of love.

Life as expression as mindful movement of meditation or concious awareness of meditative godstate. Trance state is one which you know you can be conciously proactive however the pleasure of trancestate tells you that your mind and body are ideally operating due to the facilation of the world and mind to the core of self(heaven or atleast levelness).





[roughdraft ideas] industry is the holdup.. when is industry obsolete...
1. when agriculture production is localized and people have the capability to produce there own consumables if need be.
2. when raw materials and low grade componenets can be utilized to create
.. it doesn't render it obsolete but it reduces it
the benifits of industry in reducing time wastes etc.. however industry is where profit is only capable in actuality of necesity. It is only ready goods.. however what is needed beyond agriculture.. depends on climate largely. The ideal of reduced population would be warm climate however with science antiaging and eventual immortality the reduction of population doesn't seem to be as posible the gradual decline would take a long time and it seems that we are going to fly off to space should it exist for more consumables.
Everything will end up mechanized and at that point the public should not be able to rationalized feifdoms or rather rulership of industry by family groups etc.. because really they don't do anything at that point.. no one is employed in industry and industry is the only real necesity of an industrialized society after food is taken care of everything else is extra however there is no "real" production outside of industry. By industry I mean fabrication of materials.
So unless there is a social shift to communal grouping then there will be an ever increasing break of the capabilities of industry vs. common which would show itself in many ways.. the common as a subset of the industry would be reduced to a backwards progression back to agricultural and nomadism the population issue would be come negligable and the reduction would occur due to the superiority of industry.. at the same time what market does industry have without a common resource..
which brings it to purpose.. if the intent is rulership it can never be acheived since human cannot even rule themselves.. if it is god state then it is a redundancy and knowing that godstate is what is avoided as a facet of humans existence and the states of dualism and godstate.
It gets mad at that point I guess. So what is industries objective if it is to provide the result is stagnation of society and a slowed decine due to resource loss near the end of civilization at that point capability for a reformation will be increasingly hardened by statechanges of early staging materials. The result being a permanent dark age of material capabilities of humanity with the death of industry human is forever stuck in a natural process unless nature recreates the materials needed. THe problem exists in a devestated nature that is deforestation, exitinction of animal and plant species acid rain and the offblanacing of the natural cycles food chains etc.. to render human in capabile of proper management of a dwindling domesticated animal population. Without resources or domestication population will not be able to be maintained. The society that erupts from that is questionable.
The thing is though refabrication is the technology that saves that concept recycling etc... At the high point however it will be molecular and atomic rebonding however at that point states of matter become increasingly redundant as real in a scientific sense becomes less and less purposed. However we overcome and at that point the fragmentations have no physical barriers however if there is no limitation of exchange of personage is it not inevitable that we all have the same thoughts and feeling etc..
Then the question of what is individuality the multiverse of individual source. layering to unification that is at all. so then the question of what to do, is another universe recreated and it happens all over again, or is the purpose fullfilled. Same questions as other writtings and in a realistic modern "problem" ridden world perhaps not at the forefront of "necesities". THe question of humanism would seem to be what is this strugle about. The answer for myself is love as the core of my faith. So it becomes a search of loves expressions. HOwever the redundancy is that the object of a faith of love is the expression of love. So in searching through yourself as an object of love everything is love so why the need of a search.
However the emotions of reality would be that some emotions are not sought nor acceptable. Personally dealing with the hand that reality throws at you is a necesity of being. It is culture that defines notions of civilization the shift from the cores of humanity. However you are an object of culture rather then a partaker of culture of either side. If you make culture then you are unable to understand culture. If you understand culture you are unable to make it. The reasons for this are a matter of humanism. When a human understands human human is no longer human human is god. It is really a state of layered mind. A god though becomes twisted which is bound in paradox and reversed truths the perception of self is not a seperate happening for it to be seperate then dualism of humanism is created. At the point of human making culture human does not create human is the tool of creation. The perception of human state is segmented hence feelings can be derived because only a segment of all is contained. As a dualist both are posible gods creative ability and the emotiveness of feeling however at that point what is self, and is humanity still an issue and what is the role of culture. That is the art and artist, the godstate is prevalent however it is seemingly selfdisposition to remain due to feeling but what is feeling. Love. So what is the love, love of creation.
Ok then it would seem that 2 things would be constant. 1. reality is infinite because anything that loved to create would create forever and how could there be a limitation to creation as an allbeing. 2. If there will always be creation then what is the social force. Well it would seem that division would be ever gradual, why the seperation though. Why a loss of anything. Well nothing is lost if time is linear and mneumonic because everything that "was" still is. Seperation isn't happening instead growth of happening.
Where is rationality though and what social codes the mentality of feeling. If cause is inherent then so to would actions. that seems so shallow though and unfeeling. So that is the question of the humanities. What is the role of the individual in society. The question of needs. What are the needs of a dualist. Is it not inevitable that with lack of ambitions ability to manifest and coming to terms with ones own humanity that revalation of god is shown to human. Does human die though? Is that the question of reproduction, new humans, more creation. Premeditation doesn't seem needed, is it a need, now can it be deemed a need of a dualist without needs. An act of god. Each generation that passes would seem to be more full of culture more culture to bypass more emotions, however what at the point of science, if there is a breakdown of being then no longer is the physical tangible creations bonds would seemingly have to continue "dreamworlds?". Can the mind be tamed? Is that not the state that science began. So sanity ceases to be mesurable without logical groundings, what type of state is that? Exactly.

so then the next is provision of the humans growth, since humans are bound to psychology and science it would be cultural history and disposition of there own manerisms that create response. The question is then what determines reaction. The idea of S/R.. its death. No questions. It gives life. Through giving life death is life another layer.

So to raise death of everyone then when there is no one left maybe by godsgrace I'll have deathtoraise of my own as god. The question though what is left.. a new universe? what determines a new state?

The end of modernism
what it comes down to is sustainable land and security from objective oppression. and I know the world is out there.. I really can't do anything either I live to the end of science(which in many ways has happened) or I die and thats not going to happen while I'm still "me". lwtf. anyway no reason to dwell lets loose myself again. Thing is to forget the world what am I securing myself from.. myself... its about securing the world but why? You make things and build then it comes crashing down but why why .. yah it's cause love love the world.. and when you see it destroyed. ITs not that you just can't see anything as destruction everything has to be a positive effect. Then why don't we just kill ourselves and get it over with. IT wont happen cause life is love, then your just playing a game. But it's all I have. Why put myself through it. Cause it's all good, no need to force anything. So how am I still needed? to enjoy. and so it goes.



Love is Timeless.
Self Identity in enlightenment is to understand that conciousness is the focal point of divinity. Through the humans eyes we see the world. This world is made up of symbols. Human is feeling, those feelings expressions created through thoughts which are formed from ideas created by the symbols within and within our outer selves the world. We ourselves are timeless entities where symbolic interactions create perception of difference in temporal symbolics. A sense of progression and temporality a chain sequence linear dualism. Every moment we send vibrations of change. Love is the answer love is all things, everymoment expressing an even greater love. Lost in love behind my faith, where are the questions? I am the result of god and oneness within, my actions resulting from ethical actions with the world and the inner spiritualism with my inner conciousness. Advance falling, I am free with the death of self. Ethics within a sense of morality. It is love. Then to psychology and media, I can be this great,never ending self fullfilling aspiration. Its all right, what am I to do for the world, and if for the world it's for myself for the world. It's always my eve of eden, so it seems. This is what I do. Love is expression.

I feel like a virgin again oh hold on.... You know what... NOOOOOOO! ????????? lomfg SO DIE ALREADY THIS TIME DONT COME BACK :))))))))) the world is so... welcome to my world WHAT TO DO???????????????? WHAT TO DO.. I"ve done this beforrrrrrr ARGHHHHH! CLUE WHERE ARE YOU??????
Tips everyone should know about living in a crappy reality: Keep progressive if you find it hard to actually "be" some where, that is if you are lucid and feeling like you are paused, unless of course you "enjoy" the feeling and like most things it will be a passing feeling when you prefer activity to stasis. This is adding to the psychology for a sense of progression. The more progressive you are the more good moments you potentially hit, this is a brute force application of life. Of course living the good life is figuring out that good is good and the most good of the good is even gooder. Note it only gets better.. cause that's the only positive posibility.


Favorite quote of the week/day.. note I so have allot to learn about being a geek but this struck me as funny....."Any system reference will require you to read it at least three times before you get a reasonable picture of what to do. If you need to read it more than three times, then there is probably some other information that you really should be reading first. If you are reading a document only once, then you are being too impatient with yourself."

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