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Drain the blood from my heart and all you will find is wine.
Sunday, 21 September 2003

It's sunday,and rainy.I feel like I should go walking,maybe that would clear my mind.I was very very upset last night,I couldn't even talk to Allan,about everything that had happen.It is something that only I should know,because they the rest of them are clueless.Jill and Bekkah acted really werid last night.It wasn't their normal selves.I felt betrayed in a way.I don't think there is much more for me to say.

Posted by retro2/guttersex at 8:59 AM MDT
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Saturday, 20 September 2003
Here we go again.
Could someone tell me how many times I have went through this feeling?Maybe my scars are wide open to the world.Maybe the can see right into me.How many times have I lied?I am his dirty heroin.I am this murder of their lives.I am deth herself. Why did everyone leave my life with in 3 years.Maybe I left them,more than they left me.Either way I have only Allan left. My life hasn't been fully lived at all,so feeling like shit,should be impossible for me to do. I really need a smoke,I have been out for a week or so.Some gin would also be nice to sink my pain into.How sad is this,I need two things that harm me in everyway to forget something.I am pathetic.

Posted by retro2/guttersex at 11:54 PM MDT
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