Mood:
Now Playing: tears in heaven - eric clapton
Topic: life
Well ive been thinking agen, which I hate doing cos it rele fucks ur judgements up and makes u feel sorry for urself but hey every human does it, self pity tht is, u cant help but think ur life is shit at times and tht it will never get better even if u know it will deep down which some wud say it very stupid, I get like this sometimse when my mom goes away and leaves me in the house on my own and I hate been on my own at the best of times, ive never liked to feel alone, the feeling of lonliness is my worst fear but its makes me think when im alone, I know im a deep thinker and so many ppl tell me so, I rele don’t know wether I am but either way I guess I do think about everything ppl say or do or the way they act with me, which is why im so sensitive, I used to be rele hard and lack emotions but now ive found love, ive found my emotions agen, which isn’t a bad thing, infact its great cos I hated not been able to care for anyone in a way they cared for me, but now I understand, I never used to cry, it wud take so much to even make me feel pain, I just cudnt cry, but now I cry way too easily, which is better I guess…anyways point in typing in here, im bored rele and have nothing better to do all weekend while my mom is out agen *sighs* what I rele need is to be older then I cud just do what I wanted when I wanted then I wudnt have to worry about whether my mom was in or not, its even fucking worse not having any sound in the house, its dead, which makes me panic and shit…grr well I think im guna write a shitty depressing poem or something cos im tht bored… here it goes:-
She sits crying on her bed
Was is all the feelings in her head?
She doesn’t know who to trust
Was all this just feelings of lust?
She starts to get angry and punches her wall
Bleeding hands she begins to fall
She screams out to him
Was it because im not too slim?
She didn’t understand what he meant
Was it all in that letter he sent?
She grabs the gun from off the floor
Bang bang shes gone forever more…


