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my diary
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These are my thoughts written down on paper...
Friday, 13 May 2005
how i feel
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: avril lavigne - together
Topic: life
well this song is exactly how i feel with my mom n shit so yeh check it out:-

nobodys fool - avril lavigne

Fall back
Take a look at me
And you'll see I'm for real
I feel what only I can feel
And if that don't appeal to you
Let me know
And I'll go
'Cuz I flow
Better when my colors show
And that's the way it has to be
Honestly
'Cuz creativity could never bloom
In my room
I'd throw it all away before I lie
So don't call me with a compromise
Hang up the phone
I've got a backbone stronger than yours
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la

If you're trying to turn me into someone else
Its easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you're trying to turn me into something else
I've seen enough and I'm over that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you wanna bring me down
Go ahead and try
Go ahead and try

You don't know
You think you know me like yourself
But I fear
That you're only telling me what I wanna hear
But do you give a damn
Understand
That I can't not be what I am
I'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon
Its not a simple hearing but not so soon
I might've fallen for that when I was fourteen
And a little more green
But its amazing what a couple of years can mean
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la

If you're trying to turn me into someone else
Its easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you're trying to turn me into something else
I've seen enough and I'm over that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you wanna bring me down
Go ahead and try
Go ahead and try

Go ahead and try
Try and look me in the eye
But you'll never see inside
Until you realize, realize
Things are trying to settle down
Just try to figure out
Exactly what I'm about
If its with or without you
I don't need you doubting me

If you're trying to turn me into someone else
Its easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you're trying to turn me into something else
I've seen enough and I'm over that
I'm not nobody's fool
If you wanna bring me down
Go ahead and try
Go ahead and try

La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la

Would you be laughing out loud
If I played to my own crowd
Try

yeh so thats how i feel, basically like my family are changing me to suit them and i guess its fair enuff but my mom at the moment doesnt care about anyone else apart from her life with stephen and his perfect kids...its not fair, ill never live up to their standards and i have to for my mom to like me and do stuff for me, she cant even be arsed to stay in with me, and ive missed so much of skool and it fucking sucks :( its rele getting to me, shes making my home life hell, i dont even wanna be with her anymore and i love her to bits but i cant stand her anymore, he's changed her for the worse and now shes not the momi had a few yrs ago and i want her back, shes just came in my room now and moaned at me blaming me for ruinging things in her life, ive done nothing wrong, im just been me, and i guess that is the problem, so now its like i change and be controlled by stephen or i move in with my dad and dont change and live in shit with hardly andything and be pretty much happy, also if im with my dad hes never there so ill be left on my own and i dont want that, id get so lonly and im already badly anti social and i know for a fact i wudnt get up for skool or anything so my skool wud just fuck up completely like it pretty much is now, im missing skool bcos im upset...how lame, im just not happy at home, im only happy when im out and with adam and my friends or on my own which is sad, and i dont want it to be like that, stephens just dumb and if he thinks hes going to ruin my life then hes got another thing coming cos im not a fool like my mom, ill stand up for myself.

Posted by Charli at 8:51 PM BST
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Friday, 6 May 2005
babies
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: life
yeh well i was bored and i was thinking about babies...(as u do :S) and i was looking on google for some cute baby clothes and i found these sites full of rele cool baby clothes and then i was searching for cute pictures of babies and these are some i found...





hehe arent they just adorable? well i think so anyways :p awwww i want one lol babies are soooo damn adorable but yeh ill stop talking about them now :D

Posted by Charli at 4:01 PM BST
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Thursday, 5 May 2005
things i want to achive in my life
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: dreams
well i was dreaming last nite about things that i wanna achieve in my life and i thort i u mite be interested to know some of them...
- to have a family and children and make them happy
- to stay with the one i love for as long as i live
- to get married to the one i love
- to make the one i love happy to be with me
- to lie on a hill at sunset with the one i love
- to make my mom proud by doing something great
- to be there when my friends need me most
- to never lose contact with my best friends
- to be able to play my geetar and other instruments rele well
- to be able to sing or at least sing in front of ppl
- to get rele gud a blading and be able to go into epic and show off
- to invent a cartoon character
- to be in a band and be recognised
- to go on a road trip with my mates and ppl
- to go to canada and go snowboarding
- to beat lee's record of 17 bowls of weetos
- to be in a movie
- to meet brian shima
- to meet matt bellamy
- to own every kind of extreme sport games there is
- to own a golf gti and modd it so it looks like my car off nfsu2
- to buy an apple mac computer
- to collect all the albums of all the bands i love
- to get a heartagram tatood on my wrist
- to get the bottom of belly button pierced

Posted by Charli at 1:33 PM BST
Updated: Friday, 6 May 2005 3:48 PM BST
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Wednesday, 4 May 2005
a new home for my diary
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: my diary
well as youve probably noticed i havnt written in my blog for months and as i have just made this new site i thort it wud be a gud place to carry on with my live journal so yeh here it is...

Posted by Charli at 11:46 PM BST
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