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Story of my life...

To start off, I was born on Friday, September 13th, 1981 in Mountain View, Missouri at St. Francis Memorial Hospital. From there, I lived in a small rural town called Willow Springs, Missouri (81 miles east of Springfield). I lived on my father's parents' farm for 3 years and at the age of 3, we moved into town and lived there for 7 years, where I attended Kindergarden through 3rd grade. In 1990, my father was in the Dessert Storm War and when he came back that Spring of '91, we bought a 34 acre farm 7 miles out of Willow Springs and that is where I lived for 10 years. At that time I attended grades 4th through my senior year. I was semi-popular in school, and I was always the class clown. I always wanted to be the center of attention, and I think that comes with being an only child.

A changing time...

During High School, I didn't really want to be there, I didn't have too many friends, I never did my homework that was assigned, had all D's one year and just didn't care. All that changed my senior year, when I started making all new friends, and started becoming popular, and then actually wanted to do something with my life. Our School field trip was to Six Flags--St. Louis, which was my first time ever going there!

Growing up and learning from my previous mistakes...

I have went through quit a few jobs. I got my first job at Burger King in West Plains, MO when I was 16. I got the job in April '98 and worked there up until February of '99, when I got a job at Midwest Truckstop in Cabool, MO and worked there till April '99 and then it was onto Ferguson Drug Co. from April '99 to June '99. At that time, I was guaranteed a job at Gramma's Kitchen and Treasures in Willow Springs and worked there from June '99 through September '99. I took off then for my senior year and after graduation in May 2000, I got hired on at Catepillar and was only temporary, so I was laid off after the month of June. Then it was in search for another job, and found it at Holiday Inn Express in West Plains. I started on July 10th, 2000 and worked there up until October '00. Then I took off for a little bit and then in November, I got hired on with the Wal-Mart Supercenter in West Plains pushing carts during the Christmas rush. Then I was laid off after Christmas and then was called back in after New Years. I got a job in Deli and worked there in January and started college at SMSU-WP where I went in for Business.

Moving out on my own...

At the same time, I had mixed feelings of moving out of home and "getting out" in the gay community. I spent hours on the computer at night at home searching for gay individuals to talk to about my problems and the stress I was feeling. Sure I had the gays back home, but they were all in their 30's and they weren't the best people to talk to about what I was feeling in my late teens. So then I started coming to Springfield a lot more at the end of January, after I found out about Marthas Vineyard and Bar One. Upon coming to Springfield, I found out about The Edge, and to this day, I still haven't went there. I got exposed to Marthas and really liked it. I interacted with people that were just like me and we all had something in common...we liked men! So then I remember my first week coming to Springfield, I came up on a Thursday night and stayed with a friend close to Battlefield Mall. I then went out to Marthas for my very first time on Friday night, after going to Target and buying a new wardrobe. I remember it was red pants and a black cut-off sleeve shirt. And I wore black tennis shoes. Okay, so then I went to Marthas and stood at the door, cuz I felt very uncomfortable coming in and that night was a drag show and this was all something I hadn't seen before. Okay, so then we went back home and I was anxious to go back.

Saturday night, I go back to Marthas alone and I meet up with some people and we get to talking. I made some friends and got along with people really well, but at the same time, I was very nervous and shaking. I ended up meeting with a new friend and we all went out to Steak 'n Shake together that night and then I spent the night at their house. I slept right through Sunday and then called up a friend later that night that I had met Saturday night at Marthas. I met him that night and I stayed the night at his house. We ended up "dating" and were boyfriends. This was my first boyfriend and so this too was all new to me. I then stayed Sunday and Monday nights, and then had to go back home Tuesday for college class. I then came back to Springfield Tuesday night and stayed till Thursday and went back home Thursday for college class again. I then had to go home and talk to my mother, cuz my best friend told my mother I was gay and well my mom was having to cope with that now. Here I hadn't been home for a week, I hadn't answered any of their calls on my cell phone, and my parents had no idea where I had been for a week. And now "coming out" to my parents. All at the same time!

In the last part of January and early February, I moved out of home, and moved to Springfield, MO. I had just "come out" to my mother, my parents were cool with it, I wanted a change, I wanted to be closer to the action. I quit my job and got hired on at MCI Worldcom as a Telemarketer. I also dropped out of college and moved in with a roomate here in Springfield. I then worked at MCI for about 2 months and then went to APEX Marketing and worked there for a week. I took off a month of unemployment and then got hired on with McDonalds inside Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World. I worked there for 2 months and then quit and took off for another month of unemployment. I then got hired on with McDonalds outside Battlefield Mall and that's where I'm currently working now.

Since all this time, I have had 3 boyfriends, and have been exposed to a lot here in Springfield. I'm expected to move in June of '02 to Indiana to be closer to a friend that I've known for 3 years. I think all will work out and will get better. I've had a rough start moving to Springfield, but I honestly think it will all get better as soon as my life stabalizes and gets back in order, which I am starting to do slowly. I do realize it takes time to pick up the pieces and start all over again from the beginning. Hopefully, I won't make the same mistakes twice...

...Well, recently I quit my job at McDonalds outside Battlefield Mall and am now unemployed. I am currently looking for a new job, something that is more to my skills and to my needs. I took 4 years of Business classes in high school and started taking Business classes in college the two months that I attended. I am now enjoying the time off of work and hanging out at Marthas Vineyard while I'm unemployed.

Well, it's been brought to my attention this has not been updated. I started my job back at McDonalds, and yes the same one. I wanted my job back and am sticking with it now. I begged my manager for my job and well I got it back. So now I am happy and want to stick with it for awhile, cuz I really do like it. I mean we are the #1 gay McDonalds in Springfield, so that makes me happy.

This has been a real experience for me since I have lived here now coming up on eleven months. This has been my first summer here and right now has been my first holiday season here. I wanted to go see the Christmas/Thanksgiving Day Parade here in Springfield, but missed it 'cuz I had to work that day. And then there was another thing I wanted to do, but can't think of it at this time, and well had to work through it too. This will also be my first Christmas here in Springfield.

I keep in touch with my parents a lot and tell them how much I love my mother, and for my dad, well my mother insists I talk to him, but I'm too scared to even accomplish that task. My mother and I exchange stories about me growing up. My mother insists that I wasn't displined enough when I was growing up, but I felt like I had been beat everyday of my life for every little thing I possibly did.

My mother tells me that she knew I was always gay, because there are so many traits I have that made it very obvious for anyone not to notice that I was gay as a child. For people disagreeing with the fact that gays are not born this way, that it's a choice,'s genetics, 'cuz I didn't know what [gay] was until I was 12 years old, and that's when I realized that I might had possibly been gay. I was told I used to dress up in dresses when I was in Head Start and always had feminine qualities about me. My dad, I feel, didn't like me much growing up, cuz I wasn't the son that he always wanted. I was more of the daughter that my mother wanted, but yet, my mother says that my dad really loved me and I'm his son and nothing will change that. My mom tells me that my dad wishes he had spent more quality time with me, but I chose to be independent and do things on my own growing up.

I didn't have many friends growing up as a child, so I spent many weeks, days and hours on my own, and being an only child, it doesn't come easy. I used to play all alone and always wanted just one friend and ended up always playing alone. I was always left out of everything and growing up, I always wondered what was wrong with me. I always got picked last for everything in P.E. and well, not many people liked me. Sixth grade or when I was 12, all in the same era, I realized I was gay. Not sure how it hit me, but do know that it was the year that we started taking showers together in gym. I felt sexual feelings towards men, and it was also my first summer going to Bible Camp and well some interesting topics and conversations stirred that summer.

Well, I will elaborate more off this later when I have more time. Sorry I haven't updated this in awhile, just been kinda bored and not playing as much on the computer.

Well, here it is now January 17th and I've decided to write more here. I'm still working at McDonalds outside Battlefield Mall and still somewhat enjoying my job. I've been there a total of 5 months now with being on and off a couple times. I started there on August 9th, 2001 and here I'm still there. I feel I will continue working there until June and then will move on in my life. I will get a much better job of course when I move to Indiana.

I'm sitting here not enjoying the second snow of the year. It's yucky and I'm a summer boi, so this is not my cup of tea. I'm also a BIG momma's boi and also a city boi, so just a little insight of myself.

Well, not really much more to say, but thought I should update this to an extent. Hope everyone who reads this is doing well and peace out!

Well for some updated news as of February 9th, 2002, This past two weeks a lot has happened in my life. I met a guy of Tuesday, January 29th and we met in person that night when he made the drive to Springfield with his straight couple roomates. We hit it off pretty well and found we have quit a bit in common and had a lot of the same interests. He went back home that night. I spent 3 hours talking on the phone the next day and then on Thursday I talked to him yet a 4 hours.

Then on Friday, he said he might come up, but I really didn't think he would. I went to GLO that evening with one of my lesbian friends to see "Beautiful Thing." When I came home around 9:30pm, I was told that Bobby had called and that he was already heading to Springfield to spend the night with me. I was so excited and didn't believe my roomates. So shortly after being told this, he pulled into the drive-way and he was here! So then, he spent the night on Friday night and ended up staying Saturday night too, since his roomates did not come back to Springfield to pick him up until 5am on Sunday morning.

I decided I wanted to go to Joplin to see him, so I had Monday and Tuesday off from work, so Monday night I took a Greyhound bus from Springfield at 11:30pm and arrived in Joplin at 1am and he was still at work. His straight roomates picked me up and took me to go pick up Bobby from work. Then I spent the night on Monday, all day Tuesday and night and then called into work and they were talking about firing me, even though I called in 2 hours before my shift, so at that point, I didn't care. So then I didn't even call in on Thursday and well Bobby and I packed his stuff up, because he got fired from his job on Tuesday and so he was going to move with me. He took the Greyhound bus with me at 4:30am on Thursday morning and we took it together to Springfield, and we arrived in Springfield at 5:50am and took a cab to my house. Upon arriving, it just meant we had to go looking for jobs, since I can't survive without one. So that was my duty for the day. He has now been here for 3 days and things are really good so far, but now we have 5 people living in this house.

I called my best friend Amy back home this week. First time I have gotten in touch with her since Christmas when I went back home. I also got a newsletter from my church back home and a card from one of my older church members and she told me they were glad to hear from me since I had lost contact with them for over a year. Tomorrow is my one year anniversary here in Springfield. Doesn't seem like I've been here that long, but it has. I've lived to tell about everything and I'm growing up believe it or not.

Well, not a whole lot more going on, but thought I felt I needed to keep this page updated to keep everyone informed of what is going on in my life. Oh and by the way, I don't work at McDonalds outside the Mall anymore, so now I'm looking for something else.

Until later, peace out everyone and take care

A Promising Week

Okay, here it is February 24th, 2002, and well a lot of stuff has been happening. As everyone knows, I quit my job at McDonalds (outside Battlefield Mall) on February 6th and well now am starting work tomorrow at the McDonalds on North Glenstone close to Kearney. Something is telling me that I will never move out of McDonalds, but if I would get into management, I'd be just fine.

This past week has also brought about some good and bad things. Earlier this past week, our family vehicle broke down, with the starter going out, battery going dead, and something wrong with the transmition. Then we get a ghetto loaner car. So that part of my week has been very interesting.

Good news this past week is that I'm finally moving outta the ghetto. I live in Midtown in Springfield and am finally moving into a better neighborhood in Northern Springfield. This makes me more confident that everything will be going better than any time I have had since I've lived in Springfield for the past year.

With better houseing and a better job and a new boyfriend, who is pictured above on the left, things have been going more smooth and much better in my life.

This summer is promising to be better than ever, as I will be more active, going to start tanning, going to take up tennis again and also will be close to the Dickerson Park Zoo and the Ozark Empire Fairgrounds, so the fair will be coming up this summer, which will be my 3rd time there since the last time I have gone. Which was back in 1999.

Well I have filled you all in on my life as of right now, so as more happens, I will fill everyone in. Good luck all and may God bless you!

A Growing Time In One's Life...

...we learn something that we hold onto to take with us as we get older. Well this past week has been a challenge for me and has taught me something I will definantly take with me.

We are getting ready to move into our new house, as we are waiting for the remaining ceramic tiles to be laid onto the kitchen floor. We are preparing to move in as we had to go out and by a new refrigerator, dryer, couch, dining room table and new dining room chairs! We five are all excited about moving and we will be moving in this weekend.

We are packing up stuff now and getting ready to move. Also today being Tuesday, February 26th, 2002, and I started my first day on my new job! So far so good and this job is better than what I just left, so I think I will end up staying with them a long while. But I know I have said this before and I don't stick to it, but I really think with being close to my job, I will stick with it.

Okay, well here it is Saturday, April 6th, 2002, and I have not kept this updated for over a month now. I'm still with McDonalds on North Glenstone Ave, and have been there now since February 26th. I also started at Ryan's Steakhouse on East Kearney (the brand new one) on March 20th and worked there up until yesturday (Friday, April 5th) when I walked out for all the managers shit that I had to put up with.

I did like the job with Ryan's because I was a server and made really good tips, not the kind of tips I wanted to make, but I wasn't hurting. Trying to save up the money to get a car and get somewhere in life.

Well the last time I wrote in here, I was moving into a new house...well that didnt' happen. As we were moving into that new house, the FBI came to my house and took my male roomate to prison for child molestation, something I didn't know about him. A week after they took him, they took his wife and she's now in prison too for helping him flee from Texas to Missouri and also endangering her childs life in a situation like that. Then 2 days after they took her, DFS came to the house and took her son and he was put into foster care.

Now I'm here with my boyfriend Bobby still and we are going smoothly. I was working average of 17 hours a day and he's working at just K-Mart. I'm the one right now making all the money! ~lol~

I took a trip back home the last week in March to see my parents and also to see my best friend Amy. Had some car troubles down there and ended up being stranded there until I called a friend from Springfield to come down and pick me up and take me back to Springfield. Things are going okay now, but am working on getting a car again and trying to get my life in order.

Well that gets you updated until the next time I will write in here again.

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