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- "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
- "I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
- "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
- "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather....
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
- "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
- "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
- "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
- "He who laughs last thinks slowest"
- "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
- "i souport publik edekasion"
- "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
- "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
- "Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy."
- "All generalizations are false."
- "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
- "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
- "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
- "Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death"
- "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
- "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
- "Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
- "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian."
- "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."
- "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
- "If you don't like the news, go out and make some."
- "I Brake For No Apparent Reason."
- "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
- "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
- "I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!"
- "No Radio - Already Stolen"
- "Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
- "I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
- "When there's a will, I want to be in it!"
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"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
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"Few women admit their age, Few men act it! "
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"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
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"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
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"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. "
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"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
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"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
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"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."
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"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
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"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"
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Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"
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"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
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"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
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"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?"
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"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
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"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
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"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
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"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
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"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
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"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a
rock."
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"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic
particles."
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"I is a college student."
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"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."
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"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"
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Teehee! Hope you enjoyed them as much as I did! If you have any you would like to submit, e-mail them to me at whimages@yahoo.com be sure to include your name and if you want your e-mail to be included! ((I'm going to identify who sent which ones in)) Thanks!
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