The Legend of the
Computer Pirate
He watched from his apartment as
the two cars attempted to drag race. The Green car with purple neon lights
did fine, The red one, on the other hand hit a pothole and careened off into
a row of parked cars. He watched as the guys climbed from the mangled wreck
of what used to be several cars. He saw the Police and ambulance rush to the
scene. He watched the lights, endlessly toiling at the task of spinning. A
swift knock on his door brought him back to reality. He stepped off his
balcony and back into his small, disheveled apartment. “Hey, Jim you
there?” came from outside the door. Jim peered
through the peephole. Once satisfied, he unchained the door and threw the
deadbolt open. The door swung open with a satisfied, “mission accomplished”
creek. Jim poked his head out the door and looked up and down the hall. The
hall was empty. He pulled the man inside the apartment and shut the door,
locking it immediately. Jim shouted, “I
thought I told you not to come here, Tony. And furthermore, don’t use my real
name! I’m Horatio to you!” “Shhh! Keep it
down, some one will hear us”, replied Tony. “No one lives in
this dump of a building”, Jim said sarcastically. “Anyway”, said
Tony, he paused… “You got it?” “Got what?” “The stuff!” “Tony, man,
you’re way too serious,” laughed Jim, “I’ll go get it.” Jim left the room and
went to his small bathroom. Tony had a seat in on the dirty couch; the only
spot not piled high with junk. From Tony’s vantage point he could see through
the missing panel in the bathroom door. He saw Jim pull a disk from behind
the toilet tank. Jim returned, disk in hand. “This it?”
inquired Tony. “Nope,” Jim said
proudly… “Come see this!” Tony followed Jim to his outdated computer. Jim
slipped the disk into the drive, the computer stirred and sputtered but
smoothed into a whir after reading the disk for a few seconds. The screen
came to life, a red screen at first, and then words scrolled across. They
were in Russian. Jim entered a four-letter password, which Tony did not
catch. A program popped
up, it contained a diagram of Jim’s bookshelf. Tony glanced at the bookshelf
then at the screen, neither the bookshelf nor the computer screen contained
books with titles. The computer pinpointed a plain book, only identifiable by
coordinates, in the sea of identical books. Jim grabbed the selected book. “Hey, Jim what’s
in these books?” Tony asked. “All the pages
are blank except for the 642nd page, which contains an eleven
digit number.” Jim answered… “Every book has a number like this, on the same
page, it’s actually a combination. The first two numbers, from right to left,
is the number of the safe it unlocks, 00 unlocks safe one, 01 unlocks safe
two, 02 unlocks safe three, this continues up until safe 99, which unlocks
safe one-hundred. The next nine digit sequence is the combination.” He waked to the wall on the west side of
his apartment and slid it open. Inside was a ten by ten grid of safes; each
safe was one foot by one foot. “What’s in the
other safes?” Tony asked. “Disks, some
blanks, some rigged to explode.” Said Jim casually. “What safe
today?” Tony inquired. “Number
Fifty-six, my lucky number.” Jim said grinning. Jim was fast, the moment he
had finished that remark the safe door swung open. Jim grabbed the three disks
inside and handed them to Tony. He shut the door and placed a post-it note on
the door to remind him that the safe was empty. Tony and Jim walked to the
door. Jim unlocked it and Tony stepped out. “Hey, thanks
bud.” Tony said… “It’s a shame it takes all this just to get pirated music
nowadays, but it’s still cheaper than the price of CD’s.” “Amen, brother!”
said Jim trying as hard as possible to not look like the lonely computer nerd
he is. Tony slipped the
disks into his coat and walked away. This event was never spoken of again and
both Jim and Tony stayed out of the reach of the long arm of the law. They
were never caught and continue to infringe on copyrights and break the law. |
|
Star Craft King The digital
alarm clock/radio flashed 8:35 in large, vulgar, green numbers; the glow
illuminated the dark room. A hand reached from under the blankets and grabbed
the clock. It was pulled swiftly under the covers in one catastrophic movement
relocating the world of the bedside table to the floor. Seconds
later there was an explosion of covers and clothes from on and around the
bed. He was at the closet before the covers had settled haphazardly on the
bed. A shirt (hangar and all), boxers, pants (an inch too short), and three
socks (none matching) were carelessly selected. He was at the bathroom in no
time at all. “No time for
a shower, no problem, I’ll just pull out the axe.” He thought. After
liberally applying the axe deodorant he quickly brushed his teeth, forgetting
the toothpaste. “I’ve got to
be in school in seven minutes or I’ll miss the final,” He reminded him self
as he pondered the fastest route. He collected his books, grabbed his keys,
and ate the first food item he encountered in the kitchen. He only had five
minutes left. He sprinted out of the door and to his 1990 Mustang GT, jumped
in and fired it up. He recklessly backed out of the driveway. The school was
straight a head, down the road about 4 miles. He dropped it into gear and
sped off, lighting the tires up through the first three gears. He was through
the next two before he reached the first intersection, which he proceeded to
speed right through. He turned
the radio on. It was tuned to the news station; it was just starting to
announce school closings. He was intently listening to the closings and paid
no attention as he sped through yet another intersection but this time it was
right in front of a cop. “Holy
Moses!” Yelled the cop as the donut fell from her mouth into her coffee,
which spilled into her lap. She wasted no time in turning on the lights and
sirens. She signaled him to pullover. “Officer,
I’m really late for school and I have a final in two minutes and I’m almost…”
He paused mid-excuse, if he had heard correctly his school had just been
closed because of a water main break. “What’s your
name son?” she inquired. “Will, Will
Wilson,” he said nervously. “Well, I
suppose I could let you off with a seatbelt ticket…” She played around with
the idea in her head. Will drove
off with a fifty dollar fine for not wearing a seatbelt, and a, “Drive more
carefully next time Sugar, your life is not worth risking for a test.” He
drove very slowly home. His cell phone rang; it was his Mom. “Hey Will,
it’s your Mom, I just called to see how your day off was going. I left a note
on your bedside table. Did you read it?” “Ummm… No
mom, I didn’t see it.” Replied Will feeling embarrassed. “Well I have
to go sweetie, see you at five,” she said as she hung up the phone Will arrived
at home and sunk into his computer chair. He immediately perked up when he
spotted the Star Craft (a very cool computer game if you didn’t already know)
jewel case. He popped in the CD and loaded it. “Ahhhh… back
to Star Craft, I can’t wait to kill all the newbies on battlenet. I am the Star Craft king!” He thought with a devilish
grin. |
|
The Week
That Bad Things Happened to Louis He pushed the clutch in and frantically turned the
key. The starter motor fought to turn the ancient engine. The engine would
not catch. Finally after a few pitiful moments the engine sprang to life. It
sputtered and coughed until he hit the gas. There was a second of lag where
the engine decided to stall but the flywheel kept it going for one more
explosion. It purred after that. He looked up through the windshield the
light was red again. He slammed his fist on the steering wheel. He looked in
his rearview mirror; there was a long line up of cars, all honking their
horns and some flashing their lights. Their drivers were angry too. His
pathetic attempts to start his car had all been wasted. The light turned
green again; the car lurched forward and forced its self to accelerate. He
pulled onto the shoulder/emergency lane and drove slowly home. He parked
his tired automobile by the river by some abandoned cars by the river in
hopes that someone would steal it. He walked home with his head hung low, two
more weeks and he could afford a new one. His house
was a small, dirty white house in the poor section of Washington, D.C. The
windows were broken and the door hung on one hinge. There were no locks. He
stepped in the door and looked around as he did everyday, to see if anything
had moved or had been moved while he was away. His jaw dropped. When he had
left in the morning there was stuff everywhere, now the whole place was
clean. “Wow, I
didn’t know this place had a carpet… Bonus!” He thought. He walked to the
kitchen and opened the fridge, for good measure. It was empty as usual. He
walked to the counter and opened a cupboard. He brought out a can of beans
and hobbled to the kitchen table. There was a ceramic tile in the center of
the table, he opened the can and set it on the tile, he brought out the
propane torch and heated the can vigorously until it boiled over. He grabbed
the spoon that was resting on the table, looked it over to see how dirty it
was, and then shrugged. He dug into the can and ate it all. The phone
rang. “Now, I
know I don’t have a phone here.” He thought with a perplexed look. He walked
all over the house, following the ring, until he found the new cell phone on
the table by the disheveled couch. “Hello…?” he asked cautiously. “Hello, is this Louis Hill?” Asked
the scratchy, low voice. “…Yeah…” Louis said reluctantly “Good, have you noticed anything
different about your house?” “Yeah it’s all cleaned up” “You catch on quick. I had my people
come over and pick the place up today. We didn’t throw your stuff out, we
just… had it stored… yeah, that’s it.” The man on the phone said
sarcastically. “Well I don’t miss it.” “Anyway…” The man said sharply, “I
did something for you now I want you to do something for me, a job if you
will.” “I need the money, what’s it pay?”
asked Louis. “If you do this for me, you’ll be a
made man” replied the man. “When do I start?” “Just, follow the orange suit…
you’ll find out everything you need to know.” “Huh? What? I don’t understand…” The
phone cut out at that moment. A few seconds later a limo pulled up and a guy
in an orange suit stepped out. He walked to the door and knocked on it. Louis
rushed to the door. Both men walked to the limo, and the limo drove off. They drove past the spot where he
had parked his car, no one had stolen it, and in fact the police had booted
it. They drove down by the river to the port. They drove down a deserted dock
and into an old warehouse. The exited the limo and went up stairs, down a
catwalk and into an office. In the office there were people sitting around a
card table playing poker. The fat guy won, and the other players left in
disgust. “Have a seat Louis,” said the fat
man, “I want to talk to you.” “What? How do you know my name?”
Demanded Louis. “I know every thing about you. Now
have a seat or Roxie and Bruno will mess you up.” Said the fat man calmly. “Ok” Louis sighed. “Now, either you help me or you
don’t. I can help you decide if you know what I mean” He snapped his fingers
and Roxie and Bruno moved in closer. “What do you want with me?” pleaded
Louis. “Calm down, lets get to know each
other.” said the fat man, “My name is Tony, I’m originally from New York.
Now, I’m going to be honest with you kid, I am the mob. You wont get out of
here unless you work for me.” “Well I guess I have no choice…” “That’s my boy!” Tony said happily.
“My brother messed up bad, kid, he got into dealing the green goods, His
bills looked real but he forgot one minor detail, the reflective ink, so the
idiot got pinched the first place he tried to spend it. What’s the deal with
that? Anyway he’s in jail right now, you got to help that moron break out.” “I can do that”, said Louis
proudly. “Good kid, we will supply you with
everything you need.” Louis went home and slept for the
rest of the night. When he woke up there were some of Tony’s guys in the
house. They led Louis to their storehouse and outfitted him with weapons and
a lock-pick set. That night they left Louis in front of the jail with only a
map and his non-lethal weapons. “Man, What have I gotten my self
into?” thought Louis. He scaled the wall and dodged the spotlight. He crawled
along the ground dodging the motion sensors and evading the video cameras. He
actually walked right into the maximum-security prison using the front doors!
“Something’s up here, that was way, way too
easy.” He thought. He climbed into the ventilation shaft and meandered his
way to the cell containing Tony’s brother. He fell through the grate right
into Carlos’ toilet; Carlos is Tony’s brother. “Hey, How did you get into here?”
snapped Carlos. “I just waltzed right in the front
door!” replied Louis. “B.S. man, you are working for
them.” “Who?” “The cops!” “No way! Tony hired me,” said Louis,
“Come on let’s get out of here. Through the vent.” They went the same way
back through the vents and came out in the front lobby. From there they
walked out the doors and through the front gate, which oddly was open. Bright lights flashed on, they said,
“Freeze.” Carlos ran. He got shot. Louis froze. The next thing Louis remembered was
waking up in his small 8 feet by 8 feet cell. That day was the day Tony paid
him a visit. “You screwed up real bad kid.” Said
Tony sadly “You could have been something. Oh well, you got off easy, if it
was up to me you’d be dead kid.” “So I guess this means I’m not going
to get paid.” Said Louis remorsefully. “Nope you aren’t” Louis got out after 10 years. His
car had long since been stolen and his house knocked down to build a police
station. He was broke and his life was jagged like glass. They say he just wanted to go for a
swim in the river but that doesn’t explain why he jumped off the bridge. |
