Javert: Don’t you fret, Monsieur Valjean, I don’t fell an-- *stops and stands up angrily* Explain it to me again. Why are we doing this?
Fangirls: *chanting* YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA-O-I! YA...!
Valjean: It’s for the fangirls. Give them what they want...darling.
Javert: Get this freak away from me!
Cosette: *running on stage* Papa! What are you doing?
***
Javert: In this nest of whores and vipers, let one speak who saw it all! Who laid hands on this good man here? What’s the substance of this brawl?
Bamatabois: Javert, would you believe it? I was crossing from the park, when this prostitute--
Javert: *noticing Fantine for the first time* How much?
Fantine: I’ll take you for free!
Bamatabois: This is NOT supposed to happen!
***
*Death of Gavroche...or is it?*
Joly: Somebody pull him down at once!
Gavroche: Look at me! I’m almost there!
*gunshot*
Marius: ARGH!
Director: Idiot! You shot the wrong guy!
Actor: But he’s just so annoying!
***
Cosette: Every day you walk with stronger step. You walk with longer step. The worst is over.
Marius: Shut up, Cosette. No one likes you.
Cosette: But I was only trying to--
Marius: Stop trying to cheer me up! All my friends just died! Can’t you be a little more sensitive?
Valjean: Don’t speak that way to Cosette! *punches Marius*
***
Cosette: You will live! Papa, you’re going to live! It’s too soon...too soon to say goodbye.
Valjean: Jeez, Cosette, just let me die, for the love of God!
Marius: Don’t speak that way to Cosette! *slaps Valjean*
Fantine: Leave him alone, you jackass! He’s an old man, and he wants to die! *smacks Marius*
Eponine: Don’t you dare box my Marius! Filthy whore! *claps Fantine*