Away Messages

• Leave a message, and I'll IM you back later. Leave a SEXY message and I'll IM you back sooner.
• Hi, I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't want to talk to. Leave a message and if I don't IM you back, it's you!
• I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.
• I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone.
• Like a fat kid in a dodgeball game.... I'm out!
• My computer is away from me right now...
• Don't you feel stupid talking to a computer?
• Im out right now running in the streets mooning cars and vandalising stop signs ill be BE BACK AFTER THE COP gets me and brings me home. .
• Im out in the woods hiding a dead body, i'l be back when the person is in a good hiding place.
• I am really here....probably sitting right in front of the comp right this minute....as you read this.....but see, I just wanted to have an away message, for the hell of it...no reason....just cause thats what crackheads do....we do shit that makes people wish they were us...or wish we would get therapy...one or the other...
• AHHHHHHH!!! OMG!!! You scared the shit out of me!!! Leave a message and maybe Ill get back to you when I forgive you for scaring the shit out of me. Whoops did I say that???
• I dont like you...
• My penis is temporarely stuck in the cd-rom drive. if you have any suggestions on how to get it out. please let me know
• hi, im sorry im not here right now to take your message. If youd like to leave a message please press 2, then 4, the 345 then type ¤.üÊz-¡«µ¿ÍÆ¢ò¦ôÄ bark like a dog, spin in a circle and say please with cherries on top then waaaiiit for the beep.
• You know the drill. You leave message, i ignore it.
• Sorry %n, Im working right now... but next time I decide to procrastinate, Ill get back to you.
• I am currently being question by the US government about my knowledge of their plan to invade Greenland. After I have my memory erased, I will get back to you.

NEXT WEEK; What to do in a public bathroom

Joke Of The Week:

One day Superman was flying around Metropilis when he notices Wonderwomen naked, spread eagle on top of a building. He says to himself, "im the fastest man in the world. im faster that a speeding bullet. im just gonna swoop down there real quick and screw her. she wont even know what hit her." So he does it, swoops down there and screws her. Wonderwoman suddenly goes,"what the hell was that?" The Invisible Man says, " I dunno, but my ass sure hurts." -Sent by Andrew Meduri

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