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Power of Love
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They say that JC is a reflection of society. You meet
people from all walks of life, all kinds of backgrounds. Mix and
interact with them. Stab them in the back if you're smart
enough, get stabbed and mauled if you're not careful. C found
that out the hard way. Today, in class, he got brutally played
out by the class rep. Got stabbed very hard by her. And of
course no one believed he was innocent. She was very popular in
class, while he was an outcaste, someone who distanced himself
from the rest. Of course every one would believe her instead of
him. Not that it bothered him. He had tried to mingle with the
class in the early weeks after orientation. After that he gave
up; it was as though they had nothing in common. And so he
withdrew into his shell. Isolated himself from the rest of the
class. Now his reputation was tarnished, but it didn't matter to
him. She could spread this all over the college if she dared. It
wouldn't have bothered him. Outside of class, he had many close
friends from sec school, friends who knew that he would never do
anything like that. He didn't care what the class thought of
him, they could believe what they wanted. C told himself that.
Class had ended. C was at the wooden benches doing his
assignment. He couldn't focus. It was maths, and he hated maths.
But it wasn't just that. As much as he told himself that what
happened didn't bother him, he was still upset by it. Beside
him, his buddy was furiously trying to complete his own
assignment. C din want to bother B ( as he shall be called from
now on). But he was frustrated, he had no one to talk to ( he
din want to bother B from his work), and the maths assignment in
front of him only made it worse. "Hey B, I'm going to the gym to
let off steam. BBL...help me jagah my stuff." He went off
without waiting for a reply.
C really took it out on the machines, but it didn't help. He
still felt very lousy. He was at his locker now, trying to get
out his towel so he could go for a shower. The locker door
refused to budge, jammed. The more he tried to open it, the
worse it became. Damn locker, even you are trying to make of me
huh? "Open up you piece of ****!!!!!!!" With that he pulled even
harder at his locker. "Hey......" someone patted him on the
shoulder as he heard this. It was the voice of a girl. "You're
going to pull my locker down as well if u continue like that.
Let me help you." C watched on as the girl somehow managed to
open his locker. "Here you go!" She was smiling as she said
this. To C, she looked as though she was mocking him. Humph,
damn locker. He didn't appreciate her help, at this point in
time he hated all girls. In his mind he was thinking: Girls, are
all like that beech of a CT rep, venomous vipers!! He took out
his stuff, slammed the locker door, and walked off without
taking a second look at the girl. As he walked off, the girl
looked on at him, until he disappeared from view.
C was on his way back to the table where D was. There was
someone else there besides D. It didn't matter to him, he didn't
bother to look at who the girl was. Sat down and tried in vain
to do his assignment.
C didn't know how much time had passed. No one spoke during this
time. D was focused on his work, C was trying to focus on his
work....ableit in vain. The girl said nothing. C stared at his
assignment. All he could think of was what happened in the
morning and the injustice he suffered. Until the girl finally
spoke. "Hey D ar...your friend here very dao leh. I've been
waiting for him to day hi and thank you u know." Her voice
sounded very familiar. C looked up. It was the girl at the
locker. "Oh...its you. Thanks for your help." C said this rather
reluctantly. The girl (from now she'll be called S) looked at
him, and said: "You know....you dun have to thank me if u dun
want to. I did it of my own accord." C was taken aback by this.
S was looking at him now, waiting for a reply from him. She
didnt look angry, but the look on her face....seemed to wash
away all of C's anger. C suddenly felt that he was in the wrong,
he shouldn't be so childish. "Sorry...I really made a fool of
myself juz now, please pardon my bad manners...." S smiled at
him. "Its ok, I know you're in a bad mood. I behave like that
too sometimes." "Really sorry.....next time if ur locker is
stuck juz look for me. I'll open it for u...eh I can do it
ok..." C saw that S was chuckling, as though she din believe him
capable of opening lockers. "Ok ok....hahahah....u looked so
funny juz now at the locker u know....if I din stop u would have
pulled down my locker as well." "Dun remind me of that....hey
stop laughing!" The 2 of them carried on their conversation as
though D wasn't there.
D listened on in wonder. C didn't have a bad temper, and was
generally patient and tolerant. But everyone had a limit to his
patience and tolerance, and C was no exception. C was a dormant
volcano. Peaceful and quiet, even serene most of the time, but
when he snaps, its like hell broken loose. Today he looked like
he was on the brink of exploding. And yet he managed to control
it...it was quite unlike him. And his mood seemed to be
improving with the minute, as he carried on talking to S. By now
C was smiling, he seemed to be enjoying his conversation with S.
S seemd to be cheering him up very well. So much the better, D
thought to himself, it would save me the trouble of tokking to
him later. D chuckled to himself. But they heard it nonetheless.
"Yah D??" "Well....looks like u 2 dun need any introductions
eh..." C suddenly remembered something. "Oh yah....i dun know ur
name yet. I'm C. Pleased to meet u." "I'm S. Pleased to meet u
too!!"
It was 15 May 2000, when it all started.
16 May 2000. C felt rotten all over again. He felt like an alien
in the class, thanks to the fiasco of the previous day. His
classmates avoided him like the plague. The beech continued to
add insult to injury. C felt like he wanted to strip her and
parade her round the college. He was THAT angry. It was alright
that he had been maligned for something he didn't do. He didn't
care what the class thought of him. He had been a loner in this
class for a long time already. What pissed him off was the fact
that even his old classmate from sec school believed her
nonsense. It hurt him to know that a friend of 4 years would
doubt him like that. All thru class he was like a time bomb
waiting to blow. He somehow managed to control his temper.
Class was over. C was back at the wooden tables, at the same
table he was the previous day. Alone, with his head on the
table. He had no mood to do anything. Just sat there, slumped on
the table like a lifeless mass. C didn't respond when B got
there and sat beside him. B looked at him, patted him on the
shoulder and carried on with his work.
"Is he sleeping?? He looks so lifeless...." B looked up. It was
S. "Yah I'm sleeping and talking in my sleep." C nearly
continued by saying "Fu<k off" but he managed to stop himself
from doing it. It was as though S had a calming influence on
him, no matter how pissed he was, he juz couldn't explode in
front of her. Not since the incident at the locker anyway. S
looked at him, slumped on the table as he was. "What's wrong
with him?" B replied "Well he hates everything in the world at
the moment. Better let him cool off on his own.....anyway I've
gotta go now. See ya guys around..." B gave C another pat on the
shoulder. " Dun think too much of it man." "B, your parents
coming to fetch u?" "Yah." "Well....I wouldn't mind a lift from
u u know...." "Lets go then. Bye C." As the 2 of them left, C
finally lifted his head from the table, and looked at them. I
wish...i don't think too much of it too. At that moment, S
turned back and looked at him. And smiled at him. As though
silently telling him to take care of himself. C could see the
concern on her face. Once again, his anger dissipated. It felt
good to know that there was someone else who cared. C smiled
back at her, silently saying thank you.
S was very quiet on the way home.....her mind seemed to be
occupied with something. B wondered what she was thinking about,
but didn't ask her. He knew that if she wanted him to know, she
would tell him on her own. If she didn't she wouldn't tell him
even if he begged her. They had been good friends for more than
a year now. B knew her well enough to understand this...so he
kept quiet. Throughout the journey home. While S remained
immersed in her thoughts.
11 pm. S could finally bear it no more. She picked up the phone
and called B. "Hello? B... this is S. Could I ask u something?
Its about C......What happened to him? Y is he so upset?"
"Well....I don't really know...all I know is that he has fallen
out with his class for some reason....I'm still waiting for him
to tell me what happened too....." S could only wonder. She
never liked it when people around her were upset...she would try
all ways to cheer them up as much as she could. She was a
cheerful, straightforward person. 1 who didn't like to see her
friends being upset. It didn't occur to her that it was only the
second day she known C...
It was S's turn to feel rotten. C's CT rep was a popular figure
in school, knew a lot of people. Everywhere she went she would
tell people her side of the story. S heard about it from one of
her classmates. How could he be such a person?? *of course she's
thinking of C at the moment* I can't believe it....is C really
such a person? S couldn't believe what she heard, but she heard
it everywhere. Everyone she knew seemed to be talking about it.
It had to be true....
She saw C sitting at the table. The same table. It was after
school. S wondered if she should go over: she didn't want to be
associated with someone who had such a bad reputation as C did.
She was about to turn and walk away. " Hi S, u're here too."
"Hi....." She walked over to the table and sat down. Well, I'll
decide for myself whether he's such a person, S thought to
herself. "So, C, how's u're day been??" C looked up from his
work. He looked surprisingly calm to S. S was surprised. C's
reply surprised her even more. "U've heard all the rumours i
believe. She's destroyed what reputation I've had, and for that
I think I shud be upset. In fact I've been very pissed the past
few days coz of this. But I've thought it over....the people who
know me well enough, and really matter to me, will not believe
her nonsense. As for the rest," C looked at S with a querical
look on her face. As though asking her if she believed him, or
what she heard. " It matters not what they think of me. They can
believe what they want, my conscience is clear." C stopped for a
while. " Anyway its not worth getting mad over that beech. If I
feel upset now, I'll only be playing into her hands. So I shall
ignore all these rumours and not be affected by it." C looked
down at his assignment and continued with his work. " You can
believe what u want. You dun have to sit with me if u dun want
to."
S was stunned for a moment. Then she smiled. "Of course I
believe u. If u were like that, B wouldn't consider u a fren.
I'm sorry to have doubted u." S said that, and immediately asked
herself y she believed him. She didn't know....C spoke with such
confidence and dignity that she found it hard to doubt him. She
looked at him as he silently continued with his work.
B came not long after. He sat down, put his arms round C's
shoulder. "Buddy.....I know u din do what they're accusing u of.
As long as u're conscience is clear, dun bother bout what the
others are saying." C looked up at B. "Thank you......for
believing me.........." S could see the look on his face. His
bloodshot eyes. He was on the verge of tears. S suddenly
realised that he was putting a front, trying not to let the
matter bother him as much as he could. But deep down, he was
really shattered.
Yes, C was really shattered. For no good reason his reputation
had been totally tarnished. Now, everywhere he walked, people
looked at him. With looks of disdain, disgust, as if he was some
escaped convict guilty of the most heinous crimes. He tried to
tell himself not to be upset. In class, in front of his
classmates, he acted as if it din bother him. Ignored all the
sarcasm thrown at him. It was tiring.....the abuse he was
getting was becoming a mental strain. Now, he tried his best to
control the tears that he felt were coming.
S saw it. Saw how hard he was trying to control his emotions.
How hurt he was by the rumours that were spreading around in
school. Without thinking, she held his hand. "I believe u
too...." C could no longer control himself, as he sobbed on B's
shoulders..........holding S's hand in his own.......
Y did I trust him? S asked herself. This is only the 3rd day
I've known him........S wondered. Earlier, C had managed to
convince her of his innocence. The confidence and dignity in his
voice did the trick. Now, lying on her bed, S wondered y she
believed him so easily. All along she had been a person who
trusted in hard facts and evidence. She tot about what she had
heard from her classmate, about what he had supposedly done. She
saw his CT rep that day: her leg was in a cast and she couldn't
walk without crutches. She was really injured, no question about
that. But was C the cause of it? S couldn't sleep.
Next afternoon. Back at the table. B was furiously doing his
work.
C and S were both appearing to be hard at work. From the look on
C's face, S could tell that he was very pressurised. She really
didn't want to bother him, though she wanted to hear his side of
the story. She felt uncomfortable without hearing what he had to
say. She fidgeted in her seat, unable to concentrate.
"You want to hear what I have to say right...." S looked up at
C. How did he know what I was thinking? " "I don't know how she
got injured. But she's putting the blame on me anyway. Last week
during PE, our PE group played soccer. Guys VS gals. During that
game, I collided with her once. But she got up straightaway when
I asked her if she was ok. So i didn't think too much of it. She
was on MC for a few days after that, and when she came back she
accused me of being responsible for her injury. Said that I
injured her deliberately and din apologise for it. Many of them
saw our collision on that day, so they believed her. For me, I
walked away from her after our collision coz I saw that she was
walking properly. I din bother to apologise since she was ok.
Thats all there is....."
Silence. "Y would she want to do that....I mean...y?" "You
better ask her. I have no idea." Silence again. Inside S's mind,
she was debating whether to believe him. What he said fitted
with what she had heard. She looked at C, who was looking down
at his work again. I dun think I have any good reason not to
trust him. "Its ok if u dun believe me, no one would trust
someone who has a bad record like me." C looked up at her. "I
was suspended from school for fighting. In fact I was nearly
expelled. You have good reason not to trust me." S and C looked
at each other for some time. In complete silence. It was as
though both of them were waiting for the other to speak.
"I didn't know that. N u din have to tell me. If u have the guts
to tell me ur past, then I dun see why u shud deny this if u
were responsible." S spoke with a serious tone. " I try not to
judge people on their past. Its the present that matters to me.
I'm sorry for doubting u......" "Its ok. I'm used to it." C
replied coldly. S was surprised by the tone of his voice. It was
emotionless. As if he was keeping away all his feelings. S felt
remorse again, for hurting his pride by not believing him.
Somehow, tho C tried very hard to conceal it, she knew he was
hurt. "I gotta go now....bye." S hastily left the table. C
carried on as though he din hear her.
"C....dun take it out on her ok...she's concerned for u can't u
see?" C didn't seem to hear what B said. Ignored him. "So u're
ignoring me too huh? Never mind, juz think it over carefully.
I'm going too."
C didn't see S leave. Neither did he see B leave. He was
wondering y he behaved in that manner. Y he bothered to tell S
about his past. He didn't have to. He regarded his suspension
from school a great humiliation, something he wudden normally
share with others. Y did he bother telling someone he'd known
only for 3 days? He said that in a fit of pique, on the spur of
the moment. He was irritated by the fact that S didn't trust
him....as much as he wished. Y did it matter so much to him what
S felt? It didn't make sense to him. He sat there,
stoned......for a while. Finally he got up. I care what she
thinks of me coz I consider her a friend, he told
himself..........
The next few days were passed in awkward silence. S, B and C
were at the same table everyday. Most of the time nothing was
said. S and B said hi and goodbye, and that was about it. C
hardly said anything at all. C looked very haggard. Tired. Sick.
To S and B, it was upsetting. B was very close to C, though he
he din show his concern for C, but deep down he wished he could
do something to help him. When you've been friends for almost 5
years, going through thick and thin, planning and organising
things for ur ECA together, you'll definitely build up a certain
bond. C and B had this bond. It was friendship. It was this that
made B come to this table everyday. B knew that now C needed his
support more than ever before. B knew that though C looked tough
on the outside, he was really very weak emotionally. All he
could do now was to be by his side.
As for S, she too was worried for him. S had been a sheltered
girl. One who was popular with her peers, and never had to deal
with anything like what C was going through. She
felt....something for him. Pity perhaps. Or maybe it was juz in
her nature to want to help people around her as much as she
could. So she came to the table everyday. It was a good place to
study anyway, she told herself.
Finally, it seemed like C had finally sorted things out. Today,
he looked very calm and composed. Like he had put everything
behind him. He was whistling and humming to himself when S
approached the table. B was already there. B too, looked very
relaxed. "Hi C, hi B!" "Howdy, my fair lady!!" C said jokingly.
S smiled at him. "Too bad u're not a knight in shining armour."
"Oh....no thanks. I wouldn't want to wear all that armour
man.....its really heavy you know." C grinned at S, and S
smiled. She was happy for him. They were both Literature
students, and S knew immediately what he really meant: that he
had put all his troubles behind. "Good for u boi" S said
jestingly, and playfully patted C on the head. The gloom that
had shrouded that table for the past week had been cleared.
5 pm. It was time for C to leave. " Well I have to go........B
will keep u company ok?" "Leaving already...I'll leave with u
lor." B looked up. "Yah you guys go ahead. S u dun have to keep
me company ok....he needs it more than I do. Right C??" C glared
at B. "Thats incredibly smart of u....anyway i gotta go. Ciaoz."
Just as he was about to leave, S asked " U going to to MRT?"
'Yeah.' "I go with u then. Bubye B.' " Well....u dun have to
bother about me S...juz go ahead and have a romantic walk with C
ok....tsk tsk." "Aiyoh.....B u jealous ar....next time I walk
with lor..." "C....dun want lar....wait my girlfriend kill me
leh..."
On the way to the MRT. S and C carried on joking and talking.
They were enjoying each other's company, feeling very
comfortable with each other. It was as though they had known
each other all their lives. The walk to the MRT seemed to pass
very quickly, they reached the station without knowing it. They
were on the platform now. C's train was here. But he didn't
board it. "Eh....ur train is here leh. Aren't u going to board
it?" "I'll wait for urs before I leave." C said that without
thinking. It seemed so natural to him...to wait for her to go
before he did. S was surprised with his reply. "U know....u dun
have to......" S could feel her face colour. "Well....I juz want
to thank u....for being with me when I was down. I'm glad to
have u as a fren...really." C and S stood there. Silence.
"Oh.....dun worry about that. I din do much anyway." The east
bound train came at this moment. " Well my train is here. Cya."
S boarded the train, and waved goodbye at him as the train left
the station. As C looked at the departing train, at the
departing S, he thought to himself. Something he didn't tell
her. U dun know how much it meant to me to have ur
support...........
The same night. C juz finished his game of Tribes *does anyone
here play that?? keke * About to switch off his com when he
received an ICQ message from B. "eh S asked me for ur UIN...wanna
give it to her?" C looked at the message. "whats hers?" "her icq
no. is XXXXX, nickname XXXX"
C sent the authorisation request. S accepted it immediately. "hi
" "hiya S" They carried on chatting. It was as if chatting in
the day wazzen enuff for them. C was especially eager to chat
with her. C was in an Arts class, dominated by girls. Yet of
these, he could get along with only a handful of them. Most
girls didn't like the way he spoke. He was too loud. Rude. So on
and so forth. It's been a long time since he could chat with a
girl for so long. With S, C didn't have to watch his language,
or think twice before he spoke. He was very comfortable with
her. And S din seem to mind. He felt that he could talk to her
about anything. Even though they've known each other for no more
than a week.
S didn't notice that it was already midnight. Time passed so
fast when she was chatting with C. Only when her mum called her
to go to bed did she realise what time it was. "C....gotta go
liao...my mum will strangle me if i continue." "oh....so late
already....I din realise....haha. good night. want me to sing u
a lullaby?? ^^" "No....u'll probly keep me awake with ur
singing ok dun tok liao....nitez" "Nitez." C watched as her
icon went to offline mode. He stared at his monitor for a long
time. He couldn't believe his luck. Finally he had found a girl
who could really get along with him. Silently he thanked god,
tho he was a non-believer, for giving him such a friend. The
unhappiness that plagued him juz a few days ago had vaporised.
S lay on her bed, thinking about what they had chatted about. It
was school work, but while they were talking about it she din
think that it was a chore at all. Both of them studied
Literature (tho S was from a science class....), and they were
talking about one of the novels they had studied. The viewpoints
that C gave were things that she had never thought of. She never
realised that the book could be interpreted in such a way. C
seemed to think in a different frame from most people. Which was
y their conversation was so refreshing: what he had raised were
things that she never thought of. Despite his appearance, he was
really clever. S thought about him, his looks, everything that
she knew about him.....and smiled. She went to sleep with that
same smile on her face.
The 2 of them slept together, on different ends of Singapore
Island, with the same smile on their faces.
Coming to the table was becoming a routine for C and S. Most of
the time C would be the 1 to reach there first. He took only 3
As and had a lighter schedule than S. But S would be there
nevertheless, no matter how busy she was, even if she juz came
to say goodbye.
Today, S came to the table as usual. But this time only B was
there. C's bag was on the bench, but he was no where to be seen.
B looked up when he saw S. She seemed to be searching for
something, or rather someone. "Hehehe" B sniggered to himself.
"Its his turn to do gym duty today." Oh....ic." S sat down and
carried on with her work. *C's ECA required him to do gym duty
at least once a week*
"Alright I'm done." S had finished her work, and was packing up.
She glanced at her watch. It was still early. "Eh B, can help me
look after my things?" "Sure."
S stood outside the gym. C was inside, hard at work, going from
1 machine to another. Checking the fittings, making sure the
machines were in good order. And of course doing some workouts
of his own. C wasn't muscular. He admitted himself that he was
too fat. But he was strong. Much stronger than he looked. S
could see that for herself. Now C was fiddling over 1 of the
machines.
C noticed S standing outside the gym. But he was busy. One of
the machines was jammed and he was trying hard to solve the
problem. By the time he managed to solve it, he was sweating all
over. Panting. He walked over to the duty desk and sat down. "Oei...u
know that girl standing outside? She's been there for a long
time liao leh." It was only then, after hearing his duty partner
speak, that he realised that S was still outside. He was tired,
his musles were screaming at him to sit down and rest, but he
got up anyway, and walked up to her. "Hey S! Y din u come in?
get some excercise lor...u look like u need it." He meant it as
a joke. But as he looked at her, he realised something. She
looked out of sorts. As though in a trance. "U alright??" C put
his hand on her shoulder and shook her lightly.
"Oh....yah i'm fine." "Well if u say so...." C was puzzled. She
looked funny for some reason. "U dun look too good....shall we
go? I'll walk u to the station." "Ok.....letz go!" She seemed to
have come out of her trance. C wondered what was on her mind at
that moment. But C didn't ask. C silently walked her back to the
table, and to the station. He talked only when S did. He was
feeling very tired, like he had tried too hard during his
workout, and didn't feel like talking so much. S seemed to
understand him, and didn't speak much either.
S didn't come online that night. C didn't wait for her either.
He was like that...he knew that everyone deserved some time to
themselves. He followed this principle for all his friends,
understood that everyone had their own lives to lead. Tho he was
looking forward to chatting with her, he would not force her. So
he went to sleep. Unaware that on the other side of Singapore, S
was thinking of him. Remembering that look on his face when he
pushed himself to the limit during his workout. The look of
sheer determination. She remembered how he looked at that time.
Sweat trickling down his face, dripping on the floor. She never
thought he could look so......adorable? She didn't know how to
describe the way he looked then. C wasn't handsome: He was
overweight, plump, and was having a bit a pimple plague then.
Yet somehow, S remembered exactly how he looked then. She was
doing her work, but her mind was occupied by him. It was then
when she heard the "uh oh" of an incoming icq message. It was C.
*C din see her coz she was on invis* "Hey S....u looked funny
juz now....i hope u're ok...if u have any problems feel free to
confide in me ok?? I go koonz leddy " S stared at the message.
In her heart, she was starting to feel something for him. Am
I...starting to like him?? She didn't know......
The table became a silent witness to C and S's relationship.
They met there after school everyday. To do their work. To joke
and tease each other. They didn't juz have fun together. Their
relationship didn't stop at that. They could discuss serious
issues together as well. C's strengths were in Literature and
General Paper, both of which were C's weaker subs. So as much as
he could, C would discuss topics relating to these while they
were studying together. S always listened intently, and offered
her own views for discussion. It seemed as though they learned
something new from each other everyday.
With each passing day, S grew more and more alarmed. She used to
hate General Paper. Lit was one of her interests, which is y she
opted for it, but she never did very well in it. Now, she found
herslef starting to enjoy GP; writing GP essays no longer seemed
like the chore they did before. Every session spent with C was
enriching, whenever they discussed current affairs. Everyday
spent with C seemed to open a new window, a new dimension.
Through his influence, S started to see things in ways she never
did before. It wazzen juz this. It wasn't just her studies that
were benefitting from this. Everyday, she found herself feeling
more and more for him. She had asked herself on that day, when
she saw him at the gym: Am I....starting to like him? She knew
the answer now.
As for C, he enjoyed his discussions with S. S would always be
able to offer alternatives to what he suggested. It wasn't just
him doing all the talking. Every discussion was a heart to
heart. With nothing to hide..all that were offered were frank
views from a girl he was starting to admire. For her intellect
and frankness. S was cheerful, but not bitchy. Gracious but not
slutty. And she was....pretty. C realised that one day. While
they were discussing some topic, and S was deep in thought. That
moment he looked at her, and couldn't take his eyes of her. He
never realised that she could look like that. That look of
concentration, deep thought, made his heart stop for a moment.
Perhaps it was because his class were full of the so called chio
bu's. He never thought of S as being very pretty. But that time,
he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Until S
realised that he was staring at her. He could only stammer a
sorry....but not before he saw the blush on her face. He would
have willingly died to see that blush again. Of course he didn't
say that. S and C were very frank with each other. But, in C's
mind, there are some things that shudden be said in front of a
girl. Tho he couldn't deny that S was special.
It had only been 2 weeks. That was all it took, for 2 teens to
realise, that life might juz have prepared something special for
them........
One day before the June holidays. They both agreed to come back
to school every weekday during the holidays. Of course it was to
study together. After all, the 2nd common test was right after
the hols........
First weekday of the June Hols. B was already at the table when
C arrived. "Ok dude letz get to work. First up....maths."
"Yep....thats what i asked u here for. I really need help with
my maths. Of course I'll exchange all the GP notes and articles
I have." "Nar....dun be stupid...i'm not helping u for that u
dodo...." C smiled. I know that lar...brother. Known u for so
long.....if u were helping me for my notes I wouldn't consider u
a buddy. He didn't say that. Between the 2 of them, some things
needn't be said...saying it out was redundant.
So they started work. B had said that he would only be here in
the morning: he was meeting his girlfriend in the afternoon. So
C wanted to do as much maths as possible while he was here and
able to help him. Maths was a thorn in C's flesh. He really
hated maths. C was a careless person by nature. So while doing
maths, he would make many silly mistakes. Even if his method was
correct, he would often end up with the wrong answer. He wanted
to rectify this, and the only way was through hard work and
practice. So he forced himself to do maths. Forced himself to
focus. When his mind strayed to other things, like why S wasn't
here yet, he would force himself to come back to the question he
was doing.
S walked slowly towards the table. C and B were hard at work: B
was doing the teaching. C was trying to soak it up. S didn't
want to disturb them. She silently took out her own materials
and proceeded with her own work.
Of course C knew that S was here. He noticed that S seemed
troubled. But he forced himself to ignore that fact. At least
for now. B was leaving soon. C wanted to squeeze as much out of
him as possible. Until it was finally time for B to leave. B
chuckled as he left. Finally they get to spend some quality time
alone...hohoho. B been with them all the time they were
together. It didn't take an idiot to see that something about to
happen between them. And he was happy for them. He knew both of
them well, and felt that they were really compatible.
And so S and C were left together. Alone. Tho there were others
studying in school, their table was quite isolated from the
rest. For a few minutes, C didn't say anything. Neither did S. S
appeared to be hard at work. But C saw something else from the
look on her face. She seemed unhappy about something. C waited
for her to stop. "U ok S?" "Sure." I don't think so. C thought
to himself. "Well I'm not...." S looked at him questioningly, as
C opened up his bag. And took out something. " Look...Gardenia
Bread! I remember u said u're going on a diet. I shall starve
myself with u, and eat nothing but bread for the rest of the Jun
hols." C looked at S and grinned. "Dun be an idiot lar....hahaha..."
S couldn't control herself. He looked so funny then, holding up
that loaf of bread beside his face. C was glad to see her
laughing. "S......I hope that I dun see u upset again. U look
much better when u're happy." S stopped laughing. She couldn't
believe what she juz heard. " I hope to see u smiling and
laughing, if u're not I'll try my best to get ur laughter and
smiles back for u." C carried on. He said that without thinking.
As if it was the most natural thing to do. But he realised that
he shudden have said that. S looked off colour. ****...C thought
to himself. "Thats what friends are for right?"
It was the last sentence that really stung. S was shocked by
what he said before this. It was a pleasant surprise. She
thought he was hinting at something....until the last statement.
"Of course.....thats what friends are for." C silently heaved a
sigh of relief. He thought that he had salvaged the situation.
He didn't want her to have any misunderstanding....not when he
himself was not sure how he felt. And he was afraid. Afraid that
any hint of intimacy on his part would spoil the relationship.
He treasured her as her friend, no doubt. He wanted to continue
as friends for the time being. Until he was sure that he liked
her. And that the feeling was mutual. The day carried on as
normal.
9 pm. C was back at home. C couldn't help but feel that
something was wrong with S that day. He couldn't pinpoint
it...he juz felt that S was troubled. He thought then that he
would ask her online, since she didn't wat to say it face to
face. But she didn't come on. So he messaged B. C stared at the
reply he got. "!! U mean you din know??" "know what?" "Its her b
day today! din i tell u??" "No.................." Now it became
clear to him. It was S's birthday. And no one was around to
celebrate it with her. Her parents were both overseas, and she
was an only child. B u idiot. Y din u tell me earlier.....C now
knew. Well....its better late then never. C smiled. He knew how
to get that smile back on her face. He offed his PC and went
straight to the kitchen.
Next day. 4th June. S was at the table. B was with his
girlfriend and would not be coming today. C was nowhere to be
seen. S's mind was in turmoil. The words C said yesterday kept
on ringing in her head. "Thats what friends are for.....are
for....." She couldn't remove his voice from her head. As much
as she tried to....the same words just kept on echoing in her
head. He treats me juz like any other good friend...I am only a
good friend to him. S was upset. Her heart had been touched. She
had felt something special for him since the first day she met
him. When he was banging at the locker.....and since then
everything juz happened. She tried to comfort herself. I'm
taking my A levels this year. I should be free of distractions.
It's better that we remain friends.....
C finally got there. He looked very sleepy. The eye rings
showed. S looked at him as he approached. He casually said hi
and sat down. Proceeded with his work. But while he was working,
he was sniggering to himself. S wondered what was in his mind.
She felt awkward. She couldn't focus on her work. And C was
still sniggering away. It made S feel worse.
S would never have guessed what was on C's mind at that time. C
was sniggering, thinking about how S would look when she found
out what he had prepared for her. C could almost see her jumping
with joy. He waited for his chance. S seemed busy at the moment.
I'll wait for her to take a break then...he told himself.
S rested her head on the table. She looked tired. Upset. C saw
the expression on her face as she closed her eyes to rest.
Well...guess it's time. "S u wanna take a break??" "Yah....I'm
so tired...." "Well S....I have something for you...." S opened
her eyes and looked at C, as he unzipped his bag and took out a
plastic container. As he opened the cover, S opened her eyes
wide. Oh my god...she couldn't believe what she saw. The words
"Happy Birthday S" on a small cake. It wasn't any normal cake.
Not one of those sold in the bakeries. C had baked it
himself.....for her. " S looked up at C. "Is this.....for me??"
Her voice was almost trembling. " Of course it is u silly girl.
I'm sorry...I didn't know it was your birthday yesterday. Hope
this is not too late...." "You stayed up late to bake this
didn't you.....thank you so much..." C could see the tears in
her eyes. ****. C hated to see girls crying in front of him. He
wouldn't know what to do. C thought that she was unhappy. The
cake looked horrid....he had to admit. "Sorry S....i'm very bad
at this...." "No, no, no.....its the best present I could have.
I like it very much." She looked down at the cake, and wiped her
tears. " I din bring candles....but make a wish. It'll still
come true I promise." S looked at C. Before she clasped her
hands together. And made her wish. I hope that you would bake a
cake for me every birthday I have, from this day on....
They ate that cake for lunch. To S, it was the best cake she had
eaten all her life. And she was sharing it with him...the
thought brought a smile to her face. She was very happy. And it
showed on her face. C was glad. He was happy to see her smiles
again. It wasn't juz the smiles. From time to time, C thought he
saw her blushing. Juz like that day when she caught him staring
at her. These times, C would think to himself: I'll do anything
I can to make her happy. It was clear to him now: Y it upset him
so much to see her upset. Y he was determined to finisg baking
that cake, even though it was 3 am in the morning and his brain
was screaming at him to go to sleep. Y he felt so happy to see
her smile. "How's the cake?" "Wonderful." The 2 of them looked
at each other. " U know what wish I made juz now?" S looked at
him questioningly. C wasn't expecting this. S had a peculiar
look then. It was as though she was expecting something from
him. "Well....if u dun mind telling me. But its better that U
dun tell me, if u do it won't come true." "Ok. I will let u know
when its come true." S was looking straight at him then.
Straight into his eyes. She was blushing. Her eyes sparkled.
With a lustre that C had never noticed before. C was stunned
beyond words. His heart seemed to have stopped.
To S, that cake convinced her of one thing. She knew then that
she mattered to him more than he cared to admit. He MUST have
felt something for her. Y else would he stay up overnight to
bake a cake for her? She looked at C. And looked down again in
embarassment. At that moment, nothing else mattered to her. She
was certain that he liked her as much as she liked him.
They had left school. Walked to the MRT. At the platform. S's
train was coming in then. Just before she boarded the train, she
turned back to C. And whispered to him. 3 words. 3 simple words
that rocked C's soul. As C looked at her run onto the train, the
3 words rang in his head. Those words, that were spoken so
softly, as she came up beside him. "I like you."
She was gone before C could respond. As C looked at the
departing train, he remembered how she looked as she turned to
leave. She was smiling very happily. Her lovely dimples, her
sparkling eyes, cute ponytail.....In that moment, all that had
gone on between them flashed thru C's mind. Their first meeting
at the locker, the subsequent time spent studying together. How
she had came into his life and gave him support in his darkest
hour. How she and B had stuck by him when he was shunned by
everyone in college. How she looked when he gave her the
cake.......... He could deny himself no more. The 3 words
continued ringing in his head. Those were the same words he
wanted to say to her there and then.....
The June hols were over in a flash. S and C spent almost
everyday together except for weekends. Actually S wanted to come
back even on the weekends. But C insisted that they don't. C
wanted S to have some time for herself, some time to relax
instead of studying everyday. Even though he wanted very much to
spend time with her. C told himself not to be selfish. He needed
the break himself anyway. S however didn't take this very well.
Totally misinterpreted his selflessness. S took that as a
rejection of her affections. Yep, she did. She took it as a sign
that he didn't want to spend all his time with her. She wondered
y: she was certain that C did feel something for her. But he
didn't show it. C had treated her just like before: like a very
good friend. S managed to divert her thoughts as the days
passed. The common test was looming. She didn't want to distract
herself. In any case, S had already told him how she felt about
him. S was still a girl with a very traditional upbringing.
Telling him that she liked him was the most she would go. It was
up to C to make the next move.
Finally the common test was over. Both their last papers were
Literature. And lit was the last paper for both of them. The
paper had ended, and S made her way to her locker to keep her
stuff. She was prepared to relax today. And she was in a
reasonably good mood. She felt confident that she would finally
be getting at least a C for Lit this time round. She chatted
happily with her classmates while she was walking.
She reached the locker. C was already there, packing his things.
There was someone else beside him. Talking to him. With a very
haughty look on her face. She didn't know who it was at first,
until she got closer and heard what she was saying to C.
"......a person like you deserves to fail all ur subjects. It'll
be just what u deserve. Someone like u, who duzzen have to guts
to admit that they're at fault, duzzen deserve to do well." It
was his CT rep. The beech who caused him so much unhappiness.
She was chiding him again. C looked very calm. But S couldn't
stand the arrogance in her voice. She walked over, as the beech
continued " U, C will forever be a sinner, becoz I say so. U
will forever be getting worse results than me. U will forever be
under my feet." Her words made S's blood boil. "Hi C!" C turned
back to her * and his back to the beech* ""Hi S! So how do u
think the paper is?" "Not bad, I think I'll do reasonably well.
Thanks to u. What about u........" The yakkings of the beech
were totally ignored as they carried on tokking. Until S turned
to look at her. "C, lets go shall we. I dun feel comfortable
here...seems that the atmosphere has been fouled
by....SOMETHING." C smiled. "Well I don't smell anything. People
can contaminate the air all they want, as long as I feel the
purity within. But since u say so...." He locked his locker. "
...lets go then." "OK!" S suddenly held C hand. And almost
dragged him away from the place. As they left, S turned back to
look at the beech. Just in time to see the astonishment on her
face.
C was even more shocked. For the second time he held S's hands
in his own. The softness of her palm. The warmth that she passed
to him. As she pulled him away from the place. He saw the look
on her face as she turned back to look at the beech. It was a
look of triumph. Pride. Happiness. As though she was happy for
him, that the words of the beech no longer affected him. She was
smiling to herself all the way out of school. Until she looked
up at him. And saw him looking back at her. When she realised
that she was holding something in her hand. Warm. Rough.
Slightly sweaty. His hand. OMG!! Her face flared, as she
realised that she had been holding his hand for so long. She did
it without thinking. As though it was perfectly natural. But now
she felt her face burning. They stopped. Standing on the
pathway. How many people saw them standing there, looking at
each other, they would never know. They stood there for what
seemed like hours.
Indeed it seemed like hours. All this while a battle was raging
on in C's mind. C didn't want to admit that he liked her. It was
an important year for both of them. He didn't want to distract
her and himself. It wasn't just this: there was something else
on his mind. He was afraid to commit, having been thru a painful
first relationship. But S made him feel different. His first
girlfriend had never made him feel like this. There was
something in the way she made him feel, that made C think that
she was special. DIfferent. Y shud she come into his life when
he was down, when he never even knew she existed before then? Y
was she the one to stand by him when everyone else was shunning
him? Y was she the one holding his hand now? With no intention
to let go? C was a person who believed in fate. And now, as all
these questions raced thru his mind, he had no doubt. That she
was the one sent to him. The other half of his soul. The battle
in his mind, whether to accept her affections, was over.
S's heart fluttered when she felt C's gripping hers tighter. S
started walking when he did. He led the way. It mattered not to
her where he was taking her to. She only felt that she didn't
want this to end. As they walked on towards the MRT. Hand in
hand. In silence, at a time when no words were needed. Even as
curious college mates walked past them with looks of curiousity.
It didn't matter to either of them. The only thing that did, was
the person beside them, linked to each other by the hand that
they held.......
Next day. They had no school today as some of the other subs
still had papers going on. It would be their first date. S felt
a little lost. It was her first date alone with a guy. They
agreed to meet at Simei, where she stayed. C stayed in Jurong,
but he didn't mind coming all the way here. It was a simple
gesture on C's part, but it made S very happy.
They met at the station. C was already waiting there for her. He
looked very relaxed in his yellow T and jeans. It was such a
coincidence. S had also chosen a yellow top. "Been waiting
long?" "Not at all....I've only been here 5 minutes." C smiled
at S. "So where shall we go?? U'll have to make the decision,
I've never been here before." "No worries!" Their hands were
locked together, as they walked into Eastpoint.
Foodcourt. Not the perfect place for a date. Not that it
mattered to them. S was a sensible girl. Tho she had her
romantic fantasies, she knew that at this point in time neither
of them should be spending too much. She knew that C would want
to pay for everything, and she didn't want him to spend too
much. So they headed on to the foodcourt for lunch. S was
waiting at the table as C bought her food for her. And brought
their food to the table. " U eat first ok...there's something
else i wanna get." S didn't start eating first. She wanted to
eat together with him. So she waited for him to return.
C returned to the table. He saw that S hadn't started eating.
And smiled at her. " You silly girl....y didn't u eat first?" Of
course he knew y. She wanted to eat with him. And wouldn't start
without him. C felt blessed. At peace. Very happy. Sometimes its
small, simple gestures like these that really make ur day. S
didn't reply. Somehow, she knew that he knew the answer, without
any need for her to say it. "I'm going to start right now." She
was going to tuck into her fried rice. When she saw what C had
bought. Oh no....she thought to herself. OR JIAN!!! *oyster
omelette, for the uninitiated*. Its been something she had been
craving for a long time. She loved it. But never ate it much. It
was fattening stuff....She looked on as C happily tucked into
his fried rice and orr jian.
C noticed another pair of chopsticks reaching for his plate of
orr jian. But the chopsticks stopped halfway, and stayed frozen
in mid air. C looked up at S. She was looking at the orr jian,
with a queer look on her face. C sniggered to himself. He
reached for another piece of it, and placed it on her plate.
"Here u go." S sighed, as though defeated, as she ate the piece.
" U know, I love orr jian....buts its so fattening! It feels so
sinful eating it...." C laughed. She looked so adorable then.
"Silly girl....are u so afraid of getting fat??" S looked at C
grudgingly. "Ok ok.....what if i feed u?" S opened her eyes wide
in surprise. By then C had brought a piece of orr jian to her
mouth. As S opened her mouth to eat it, C said something.
"S.....it duzzen matter if u go fat. Its not for ur figure that
I like u. Even if u do go fat, and it matters to u, I'll just go
work out with u to slim down. Its not a problem to me." S chewed
slowly on the orr jian. Smiling as she did. C looked at her,
enjoying the taste of it. Watched her dimples show as she
smiled. Watched her face blush slightly. He loved the way she
looked now, when she was embarassed. Her smile made him feel
warm inside.
" Want some more??" C said teasingly as he brought another piece
to her mouth. S turned a deeper shade of red. She remembered
something at that moment. Something about oysters. Aphrodisiacs.
And here she was sharing a plate of it with a guy. Her heartrate
escalated. She hoped that C didn't know what she was thinking.
It would be so embarassing if he did.
But C saw it. Saw the change of colour in her face. And
immedaitely realised what she was thinking of. He calmed himself
down. He didn't wat to embarass her further. So he continued to
feed her calmly. And so it continued.
They were out of the foodcourt now. Hand in hand once more. Now
they wanted a place with a good ambience. Somewhere quiet where
they could just sit down and enjoy each others company. They
walked into the bubble tea shop. Ordered their drinks. And spent
a few minutes in silence. Till their drink arrived. Purple
fantasy for S. Tokyo Midori for C. While she was sippng her
drink, she felt C gripping her hand tighter. She looked up at C
as he said " S, I know what you were thinking of juz now at the
food court. I'm sorry to have embarassed u..... I don't want to
hide anything from u. Becoz I feel that as much as possible,
there shudden be any secrets between us." Pause. " I hope to
know more about u S. As much as I like u, I just realised that I
dun really know much about u, and U dun know much about me as
well. I hope to take this chance to get to know u better." S was
touched by his frankness. They had a heart to heart talk then.
It wazzen exactly right for C to say that they din know each
other well. Through their interactions thru the days, they knew
pretty well what the other's character was like. But C wanted to
know more. About her family, her background, and the likes. They
talked for a long time, asking each other questions about their
life. Some general. Some more personal. C admitted to S that she
wazzen the first girl in his life. Before she asked. She was
glad to know that C was willing to share his past with her.
Finally it seemed like they asked everything they could. They
had a better understanding of each other now. S now felt even
more for C. S had very loving parents, who were also partners in
their careers. So they spent a lot of time together and were a
very close couple. And they loved her a lot, almost to the point
of spoiling her. Understandable considering the fact that she
was an only child. C had 2 younger brothers, and was very close
to them and his mother. His relationship with his father
however, was far from ideal. He even suspected his father was
keeping a mistress. He was simply spending far too much time
away from home. S felt the pain in his tone. She wanted to
comfort him as much as he could.
" Btw S, u're having a concert in August right?" "Yah, the
Chinese Cultural Club is holding a performance in August and
I'll be singing." *did i mention that she's a member of the
club?? keke * She took out her MD, and fiddled with the buttons,
before passing 1 earphone to him. " This is the song I'll be
singing, but I'm not really familiar with it yet." C listened
on. Ni Zui Zhen Gui by Jackie Cheung and Gai Huijun. S was
listening on the other earphone. End of song. " I know the
lyrics. Want me to write it out for u?" "Thanks." C got down to
work. Writing the lyrics on a piece of fancy paper that the shop
provided. When he finished, he wrote another one. S was puzzled,
but she read the lyrics anyway. She would know what he was up to
later.
It was time for C to go. He had a meeting with B and his other
scout buddies from sec school. He walked her to the bus stop.
Before he left, he said " I look forward to ur performance S."
And kissed her goodbye. A gentle kiss on the forehead. Just
before she boarded her bus. It was a pleasant surprise for her.
Not that she minded.
C was on the MRT platform now. "AHEM" C turned back. It was B. U
enjoyed urself hor...hehe. I was in the shop with my girlfriend
when guess who we saw walking in?? Hand in hand some more....hehehe."
C smiled. He felt wonderful. A certain warmth that flowed thru
his veins all over his body. He put his arms on B's shoulder.
"10q buddy, for being the matchmaker." The 2 of them looked at
each other and laughed heartily. B was happy for the both of
them; C was really grateful to B. For bringing her to him. His
soul felt rejuvenated, warm, full of energy. Such was the power
of love..........
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