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AJ--->>> HUMAN

As I am typing this, I'm watching a video recording of their NBC Today performance, from just over a week ago. And as I'm watching AJ perform his solo for I'll Never Break Your Heart", my heart is doing just that.

There's a part in ‘Shape of My Heart’ that is ironically, AJ's solo. It goes a little like this:

 "Sadness is beautiful

Loneliness is tragical

I know we can win this war"

 Although the song was written from another context, I feel there was a reason AJ was given that part. It epitomises the situation perfectly, succinctly. I believe AJ knows he can overcome this, and this is just a stepping stone to a better life. He was the one who went up to the Boys and admitted he had a problem. That is a big step in itself.

Pictures can tell a thousand words.

I've always been intrigued by why AJ hid behind his glasses. I remember I was going on net one day, in search for pictures for my story. I wanted one where he was smiling or somewhat feigning some happy facade- but as I went from site to site, magazine to magazine, pictures of AJ smiling were few, if not rare.

Instead, the few I did find were ones where he was grimacing or pulling a silly face.

Actions can speak louder than words.

I think as a fan, I can only pray and wait. AJ doesn't need to know how many hearts he's breaking- the fact that there are thirteen year old fans out there who will hear about this will already break his, inevitably. They know we, as fans will support them, because as much as we are their fans, they are somewhat as close as friends and families.

I think "Human" by Craig David" sums it up best:

 "Human

Flesh and blood, I'm made

Human

Born to make mistakes"

I think a lot of us forget that because they're on stage, they're actually people. They're just like us, capable of wrongdoing, pain and suffering. We all make mistakes, but most of ours will never be ridiculed, dissected and talked about by the press.

I don't want to condone this action, nor confirm it, so I seriously think we should just leave the Boys alone for the time being. It's not because we don't care, we do more than they know. It's just that empathetically, if I was in their situation I would want to be left alone. AJ knows how many people love him- we tell him every day, all around the world, at concerts, on the net, on TRL -

 The fact that the Boys have already been so upfront about it is enough. They will come back for us when they're ready. All they need to know is that we love them.

Because at the end of the day, we will love them "more than that"

And exactly like the song portrays, we would never "say the words, then take them back"

AJ's needs us now to understand that we need to stand back and let them do their thing. 

My name is Saya and I'm nineteen. I love the Boys as if I knew them myself. I will sit, wait and pray for his recovery. Because I know in my heart it'll be okay.

 

© sayamaru and 'Bittersweet Rhapsodies' 2001-02

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