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Four: For The World SEPTEMBER
2000 He
paced up and down nervously, filled with both agitation and ceaseless excitement
for the ceremony to begin. His coat tails bounded up and down in rhythm of his
quick and nervous pace while he continuously sang under his breath. "Chill
man, you're not out there to perform today…you're getting married" AJ
reminded Brian as he grew annoyed watching his 'brother' grow more distraught by
the moment. "I
haven't seen you like this since our first performance as a group" Nick
added as he stared at Brian quizzically. "I
know…but what if the car breaks down? What if she doesn't show up on time;
what if-" Brian continued as his eyes widened at each fictional
possibility. "Brian!"
they all shouted in unison, startling Brian, long enough to stop rambling. "You're
going to be fine, nothing is going to happen" Kevin assured his cousin in
an assertive tone. "Except,
perhaps the influx of hate mail that you and Leighanne will be bombarded with
for taking the plunge" Nick kidded lightly as Howie nudged him subtly to
keep quiet. "Man,
you really need to chill" AJ muttered as he checked his hair in the mirror,
picking at a stray tuft of dark brown hair which had not been gelled properly.
"Anyone seen the gel in this room?" he asked as Howie handed the small
tube wordlessly. "Hey,
guys, can I just have a couple of minutes on my own before the ceremony starts?
I just want to get this tune right" Brian requested as he continued pacing
around the room. "No
problem… B-Rok, just don’t forget to actually turn up" Howie reminded
cheekily as he winked at Brian before leaving, clicking the door closed quietly
behind him. Brian
resumed practicing the song, which he had written especially for Leighanne.
Although he had never actually spoken any of the words aloud to her before they
had always been in his thoughts. Today was the day he would express not only to
Leighanne, but declare to the rest of the world that he did indeed love someone;
and in return, someone loved him. But no matter how hard he tried to change the
tune, the words or musical composition to the piece, something always went
haywire. A
knock was heard at the door. "Man,
don’t they ever give up?" Brian murmured aloud as he walked over
reluctantly to throw open the door. "Told
you I wouldn't miss it for the world" Jo greeted, smiling meekly as Brian
engulfed her in a bear hug. When I
greeted hello to Brian today, I felt as though I was saying goodbye. No, I'm not
some lunatic, living in some alternate universe, nor am I going nuts as you well
may think. I'm just trying to be logical. When the
door flung open, he pulled me into the tightest embrace and I pleaded to God
above for him to never let go. God must not have heard my plea, because Brian
released his grip and I was back in the bustling corridor. He pulled
me inside and began to confess the trouble he was having with the song piece,
saying he couldn’t get the tune straight. Now, mind you, I know nothing about
music except for listening occasionally to the top forty or Frank Sinatra and
Edith Piaf when I go visit my mother (very rare, I dare say), but I knew Brian.
And that was all I needed to know, because as he began singing in that familiar
honey voice of his, I knew what was wrong. "Brian"
I said as he looked up for a second from the crumpling sheet of music clutched
tightly in his hand "Sing from the heart" Brian
looked thoughtful for a minute, processing what I just said. "Full
of doubt?"…Am I?" he asked innocently in his southern drawl as his
eyebrows furrowed as he sat down beside me, still clutching the sheet of music
like dear life. "The
question is not whether you're doubtful…it's why" I answered. I took a
deep breath in and knew I would regret it for asking, but I knew I had to do
this "Don’t you love Leighanne?" Brian
looked as stunned as a cat leaping out as soon as it touches cold water.
"Of course I do… That’s why I'm marrying her!" he answered without
hesitation, a little in disgust as he wondered how I could ask such a thing. "Then
why can't you sing this song?" I questioned him, as I looked into those
baby blues I had known so long ago. Brian
studied me for a second, then scanned the sheet of music. Finally,
for what seemed to me like an eternity of days, he broke into the familiar grin
I always found comfort in when I was down. "Thank
You" he whispered as he pulled me close in yet another embrace. So I
watched Leighanne and Brian vow their unending love for each other, and wept
when every one else did as they exchanged rings and kissed. And he had no
problems delivering the song either. Whatever inhibitions he had earlier soon
vanquished into nothing, as I soon understood exactly why he was at the top of
his field. Once while
I was standing idly by the elaborately decorated tables laden with food, he
tapped me on the shoulder and asked "May I?" I felt like
I was back in junior high school at my first dance when I accepted, smiling
demurely as he led me to the dance floor. I blushed a
little and swayed to the music in rhythm to his body and once again, I prayed to
God that this would never end. But like
the grim reality, which this world had become, the song ended as quickly as it
had started. Brian looked at me, beaming like I had never seen him. Leaning over
to my left ear, he whispered "Thanks for being my light… I love you and I
always will" But before I could say anything myself, he turned back to
Leighanne, who was everything a blushing bride should be. I slipped
away at about two in the morning, unbeknownst to the wedding party inside. I
turned on the ignition to my car and puttered off into the black night knowing
exactly what my next column was going to be about. |
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