Four: For The World

SEPTEMBER 2000

He paced up and down nervously, filled with both agitation and ceaseless excitement for the ceremony to begin. His coat tails bounded up and down in rhythm of his quick and nervous pace while he continuously sang under his breath.

"Chill man, you're not out there to perform today…you're getting married" AJ reminded Brian as he grew annoyed watching his 'brother' grow more distraught by the moment.

"I haven't seen you like this since our first performance as a group" Nick added as he stared at Brian quizzically.

"I know…but what if the car breaks down? What if she doesn't show up on time; what if-" Brian continued as his eyes widened at each fictional possibility.

"Brian!" they all shouted in unison, startling Brian, long enough to stop rambling.

"You're going to be fine, nothing is going to happen" Kevin assured his cousin in an assertive tone.

"Except, perhaps the influx of hate mail that you and Leighanne will be bombarded with for taking the plunge" Nick kidded lightly as Howie nudged him subtly to keep quiet.

"Man, you really need to chill" AJ muttered as he checked his hair in the mirror, picking at a stray tuft of dark brown hair which had not been gelled properly. "Anyone seen the gel in this room?" he asked as Howie handed the small tube wordlessly.

"Hey, guys, can I just have a couple of minutes on my own before the ceremony starts? I just want to get this tune right" Brian requested as he continued pacing around the room.

"No problem… B-Rok, just don’t forget to actually turn up" Howie reminded cheekily as he winked at Brian before leaving, clicking the door closed quietly behind him.

Brian resumed practicing the song, which he had written especially for Leighanne. Although he had never actually spoken any of the words aloud to her before they had always been in his thoughts. Today was the day he would express not only to Leighanne, but declare to the rest of the world that he did indeed love someone; and in return, someone loved him. But no matter how hard he tried to change the tune, the words or musical composition to the piece, something always went haywire.

A knock was heard at the door.

"Man, don’t they ever give up?" Brian murmured aloud as he walked over reluctantly to throw open the door.

"Told you I wouldn't miss it for the world" Jo greeted, smiling meekly as Brian engulfed her in a bear hug.


When I greeted hello to Brian today, I felt as though I was saying goodbye. No, I'm not some lunatic, living in some alternate universe, nor am I going nuts as you well may think. I'm just trying to be logical.

When the door flung open, he pulled me into the tightest embrace and I pleaded to God above for him to never let go. God must not have heard my plea, because Brian released his grip and I was back in the bustling corridor.

He pulled me inside and began to confess the trouble he was having with the song piece, saying he couldn’t get the tune straight. Now, mind you, I know nothing about music except for listening occasionally to the top forty or Frank Sinatra and Edith Piaf when I go visit my mother (very rare, I dare say), but I knew Brian. And that was all I needed to know, because as he began singing in that familiar honey voice of his, I knew what was wrong.

"Brian" I said as he looked up for a second from the crumpling sheet of music clutched tightly in his hand "Sing from the heart"

Brian looked thoughtful for a minute, processing what I just said.

"Your voice" I began again "it's quivering and it seems you're full of doubt" I pointed out kindly.

"Full of doubt?"…Am I?" he asked innocently in his southern drawl as his eyebrows furrowed as he sat down beside me, still clutching the sheet of music like dear life.

"The question is not whether you're doubtful…it's why" I answered. I took a deep breath in and knew I would regret it for asking, but I knew I had to do this "Don’t you love Leighanne?"

Brian looked as stunned as a cat leaping out as soon as it touches cold water. "Of course I do… That’s why I'm marrying her!" he answered without hesitation, a little in disgust as he wondered how I could ask such a thing.

"Then why can't you sing this song?" I questioned him, as I looked into those baby blues I had known so long ago.

Brian studied me for a second, then scanned the sheet of music.

Finally, for what seemed to me like an eternity of days, he broke into the familiar grin I always found comfort in when I was down.

"Thank You" he whispered as he pulled me close in yet another embrace.

So I watched Leighanne and Brian vow their unending love for each other, and wept when every one else did as they exchanged rings and kissed. And he had no problems delivering the song either. Whatever inhibitions he had earlier soon vanquished into nothing, as I soon understood exactly why he was at the top of his field.

Once while I was standing idly by the elaborately decorated tables laden with food, he tapped me on the shoulder and asked "May I?"

I felt like I was back in junior high school at my first dance when I accepted, smiling demurely as he led me to the dance floor.

I blushed a little and swayed to the music in rhythm to his body and once again, I prayed to God that this would never end.

But like the grim reality, which this world had become, the song ended as quickly as it had started. Brian looked at me, beaming like I had never seen him. Leaning over to my left ear, he whispered "Thanks for being my light… I love you and I always will" But before I could say anything myself, he turned back to Leighanne, who was everything a blushing bride should be.

I slipped away at about two in the morning, unbeknownst to the wedding party inside. I turned on the ignition to my car and puttered off into the black night knowing exactly what my next column was going to be about.

 

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