Thursday, February 10, 2005
Everybody's Fool...
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
sad
Now Playing: Everybody's fool -- evanescence
i hate my family and i hate their fighting and i swear to god if they keep it up i will turn on my stereo and start screaming just to drown out the silence of their feuding. it's stupid. why do they have to fight???
i don't want this to happen to me. i don't want to wake up one day in like ten years and hate the person next to me. i don't want to spend my life trying to keep the yelling down so the kids can sleep. hell.
now i lay me down to sleep, i pray the lord my soul to keep, if i die before i wake, i pray the lord my soul to take....
Thursday, January 27, 2005
At CSM
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
mischievious
Now Playing: In This Diary -- The Ataris
Yes, I'm bored and sitting in the library so I figured I may as well update.
I had cereal for lunch {Fruit Loops to be exact} in the cafeteria. Cereal is a staple food for college people, I don't care how ridiculous I look eating it for lunch. It was fun.
I dunno, I really like sitting in the cafeteria. I like hearing people talk. Conversations inspire me to write. Unfortunately, all I had to write in was my math notebook. So I sat back and listened to people's lives and my Ataris CD quietly.
This is going to be a good semester, despite the emergency in the ladies' room. {Lmao Natalie, remind me to tell you about that. It was great.} My math teacher is nice. I have a female math teacher, but I don't know about my psych teacher. Psych doesn't start for another hour.
Why is it that everytime I come in here I get weird looks? I wasn't talking to myself or singing this time and I
still got weird looks. But I also got my student ID card. So Mom will be happy with me.
I cannot wait for my psych class. And then after psych, I'm going to the mall and a movie with *Josh*!!! YAY!! I miss him soooo much, it's not funny. It's ridiculous. I've never missed any guy as much as I miss him. I sound like an idiot, don't I?
OK. Off to elsewhere.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Work Tonight
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
lazy
Now Playing: Mockingbird -- Eminem
I have work unless there's a ton of snow on the ground. Like there is right now. I can't believe they delayed school for THIS. It's like an inch and a half to two inches at best. Puh-leeze.
Anyway. My hair is not so scary and I'm gonna fix it today. FYI, I went from being a very blonde-ish blonde to very very very very dark dark brown brunette. {Does this mean I'm not as stupid?} In certain lights, it still looks black. I look like a younger version of Amy Lee.
I like it.
So yeah. I can't wash my hair because I'm going to redo the ends and the streaks that I missed yesterday. THEN I can wash my hair.
I cannot wait for next Thursday. I start classes again. Woohoo! I'm not looking forward to math, but psych I can't wait for. I hate math. Especially math that I've failed twice before. Ugh. I looked at the textbook for math yesterday and I can tell you right now, I am not gonna make it through that class. No, not a chance.
The upside is that I see Josh between classes. {Unfortunately, that's after math and before psych. So I'll be mad at my math teacher and the math book and myself because I'll be failing. I'll be all stressed. Wonderful.}
Let Me Love You -- MarioI looove that song. I'm in a good mood. *muah* I love you Josh! Oh and tomorrow is good. I warn you now, I look scary and awful because of my hair. Just don't run away screaming, please.
Friday, January 7, 2005
I Hate My Face
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
accident prone
Now Playing: Nothing
The minute I come downstairs to do something, my eyes get irritated. Why? I haven't a clue. Blast contacts. EVERYTHING irritates them. And you would think that taking them out and putting them back in would fix the problem, but nooo. That would just be too easy. I had to go and get out a new pair of contacts just so I could see. Stupid eyes.
So I'm bouncing around the house, putting up curtain rods and taking down curtain rods, in my 1940's ... whatever you want to call it. The dress plus the hat plus the scarf-thingy plus the butterfly necklace. {I'm not wearing high heels today so I left out the shoes.} I look like a Mafia queen or something. It's very interesting. Unfortunately, it's all black. I'm trying to break away from the black-evil-dark clothing that I wear when I have to be formal. I need some color. {That's why I'm wearing the blue butterfly necklace. Shush, Kelly, it looks interesting!}
I'm hungry and there's nothing in this house to eat. Except maybe fries. Other than that, there's nothing. We don't even have "healthy" food that everyone else in this family eats. It's kinda sad.
*yawn* I dunno, I feel rather blah. I don't have a lot of energy, but I want to be doing something instead of just reading. Grr.
The most awesome song of all time has to be Breathe No More. Second to that, it's Missing. And then there's Annie and She Floats. Oh oh and can't forget Driven Under, which rocks. If I had to pick a favorite song, I don't think I could do it. Maybe a favorite song by a certain group or singer, but not in general. There's way too many songs. I couldn't pick a favorite singer/group, either. Maybe a favorite singer/group within a certain genre, but once again not in general. My musical taste is too broad for that. I never thought I would say that. I used to be one of those kids who only listened to what her parents listened to. {Which was Christian music and it all sounded alike anyway.} And then....
DC101 saved me. From DC101 I went to HFS. From there I went to 99.5 and what was then Z104 {and is now a blend of music instead of all hits like 99.5 is now}. I haven't voluntarily listened to anything Christian in two years. {Wow. That's a long time.} Pretty much anything else, I'll listen to. Including country music now. But that's more recent. I've only been listening to WMZQ for like six months. {Voluntarily, that is.}
It's weird, people accuse me of being all close-minded and crap when I say I listen to anything but Christian. That's not true. I just don't connect with the music, is all. My mom claims I've closed the religion out of my life because I don't want to listen to it. {And because I don't care what happened in Awanas the night before. And I disagree with Pastor Hirschman on a lot of things he preaches about.} It's funny.
It's not that I hate Christians or Christianity {that's impossible for me}, it's just that it doesn't work for me. I grew up Christian and there was nothing that made a difference in my life because of it. {Other than the being bullied constantly, etc. I mean a good difference.} My mom believes in the power of prayer and stuff, but I used to pray a lot and nothing would happen. Ever. The Bible didn't say anything to me. {Most of the time I couldn't understand it.}
And now she says I've closed it out of my life. Ha. If anything like that happened, then it was God closing me out, thank you very much.
Enough rambling. I'll make myself mad in a few minutes if I keep talking about it.
Thursday, January 6, 2005
It's Raining
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
bright
Now Playing: Nothing, actually
Why am I playing nothing? Because I'm rewriting a song. Yes, a song. {I'm not limited to short story.} Before that, I was editing junk.
And the song sounds cool, tyvm. It's about a girl who cuts and it's very surreal. {Think Lacuna Coil plus Vanessa Carlton with a dash of my personality. VERY surreal.} I'm on the third rewrite.
{The funny part is, I originally came up with the song while I was bored in church. And JESSICA MURPHY thought it was interesting. LMAO!!}
So yes, I'm rewriting a song and going through various notebooks I own. I think I've hit a creative phase. I'm writing new ideas in the margins of stories and stuff I've already written {from like three years ago}. I found my poems notebook. I am one morbid byatch. No kidding. Sick and twisted, that's me. I particularly like my poem Nightmare. It's about a girl who drowns in blood. {I have a fascination with drowning and blood, I don't know why.} There's two rewrites of that poem. I think I like the original best, though.
I have a lot of angry songs. Angry songs and suicide poetry and crazy people stories. Hmm. I'm a strange person. {Oh yes, I also like If I Died. Needs some revision, though.}
UntitledInitiate
Reciprocate
New drama begins
In your mind
You're paralyzed
Do you want to be with him
Confusing
Refusing
End result? fear
Remaining
Explaining
Not the time, not here
First recognition
Of immaturity.
January 3, 2004
I happen to be proud of that one. That's the one that got published. *grins* Surprise surprise, one of my favorite poets is Poe. I love Alone. {Well I love most of his poems lol.} Now I'm half-tempted to post my other awesome poem, Proof of Insanity, but I don't think I will. Not today. I need to start my own magazine just so I can read what I want to. Just like I have to write because no one writes what I want to read lol.
"Katie" v. 4
Waking from dreams of ashes / war and airplanes crashing / shatter the light / Katie eat your breakfast / i lace my neck / with a broken necklace /
*Katie's staring at the mirror / parting her hair with a straight razor / opens up this dark red river / mixing blonde and blood together / the change captivates her / every time* / swallows light like it's knives / shattering all their lives / visions of blood in my head / dancing to their screams / oh katie / you're so lost /
*Katie's staring at the mirror / parting her hair with a straight razor / opens up this dark red river / mixing blonde and blood together / the change captivates her / every time* / oh Katie can't you see / you're cause of tragedy / you're talking much too loud / inside you can't be found /
*Katie's staring at the mirror / parting her hair with a straight razor / opens up this dark red river / mixing blonde and blood together / the change captivates her / every time*
Friday, December 31, 2004
Quizilla stuff
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
caffeinated
Now Playing: Anywhere But Home
I'm a Raver Bear.... {For those that don't load the pic below: "You love to dance and party and hang out with your friends! You're also quite entranced with bright, shiny things! Oooooh.... You party all the time, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, the happy-go-lucky attitude rubs a lot of people the wrong way, so be careful. Also, lay off the Ecstasy and Ring Pops, man. Not everyone is into spontaneous hugging...." LMMFAO!! That was so me a year and a half ago, it's not funny!!}

Raver Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by QuizillaHow interesting. I'm a raver ... x-raver ... I should retake that quiz. Quizilla is weird yo.
What Element Would You Rule Over If You Were A Vampire? Let's see what I would be ....
"You are night, you are dark and mysterious, you have more than likly been through some kind of trauma, depression. you have a creative mind, and more than likly find peace enjoyment in drawing, painting, writing. You are closed and hidden away from people, and hide you emotions behind a wall which you use on people. Try to become more open, spread your creativity, you have no idea of how many people there are out there like you, exposing your art and yourself can make other people come out, so many people would look up to your for your courage and your spirit, your not evil or bad, just missunderstood, so get out there and show them just what you are made of, don't worry about what other people think, it's what you think that really matters."
Whoa. That's cool. That's me. Scary.
Anyway. God I have a killer headache. Damn drugs. I also have the urge to take a long bubble bath. That would be nice. I think I'll do that....
Josh, I love you n I miss you!! *muah* See you Tuesday.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Oh lord
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
lazy
Now Playing: Breathe No More -- Evanescence
I'm sooo tired it's not funny. Why am I awake at 9.30 AM on a day with no school and no babysitting? Because I've gone from being able to sleep anywhere, anytime to not being able to sleep at all. Oy.
Plus I'm bored. @_@ I have five million things I have to do and I'm bored. Only me. What I really want to do is watch my Evanescence DVD. But Steven's home so I can't. Blast it. I love the Everybody's Fool video. It totally rocks. And the My Immortal video. Hell they all rock. The best part? I watch them and I'm just like, "That's me. That's my life. Exactly." Especially on the Everboy's Fool video, with the mirror and all.
*yawn* I should get dressed. Take a shower. But no. I'm lazy and I don't fleeping feel like it at the moment. {Despite the way I sound, I'm actually in a pretty good mood.} What I feel like doing is watching the DVD or reading some Austen.
Emma maybe, or
Sense and Sensibility. Those are good. Romantic comedy or dark comedy. I'm leaning toward the dark comedy.
I need to get out of this house. I'm suffocating. Or maybe I just need to get away from my parents. Damn the fighting. I wake up at 3 AM to the sounds of "F*** you, b****!" {Dad} "I hate you! Get the f*** out of my house!" {Mom} "It's my house, b****. You either cut this s*** out right now or YOU get out!" {Dad} *insert sound of slamming doors and Steven crying* I have a morbid curiousity to know what they were arguing about. At least nothing broke this time. Oh, I bet it was New Year's they were fighting about. My dad wants to go and my mom doesn't.
Eh. Oh well. I just wish they'd shut up so I could sleep lol. And he's not here today, so no fighting for a while. Yay! {How does Greg not wake up during this crap? His room is right across from theirs!}
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Grr and darn it
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
don't ask
Now Playing: Nuffin
Grr and darn it I hate Xmas shopping!! There is no place for me to hide in my house. I'm tired of my room. (Plus it's full of smoke.) I'm bored. I'm restless. Grr and darn it!
The OC is on tonight. Two-hour special. I so don't feel like going to Best Buy. *groans* Blah. I want to sleep until tomorrow. I want -- oh god here we go again. I want. I want. I'm so selfish. Grr.
May as well say it. I feel like cutting. No worries, I won't. But that's how I feel. I hate my parents. Well, I would, if I had the energy to. I hate it when I feel this way. Especially because everyone writes it off as "being a teenager." That's not it, people. Those of you who know me well know that I'm f*ing bipolar.
All I want to do is sleep. And sleep. And sleep some more. Unfortunately, I also want to do something, move around, be awake. I need something to do. Three or four months ago, when I felt like this, I'd cut. (This is December. I stopped again in October. Yeah, three months. Wow.)
Grr and darn it.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
chocolate and an apology
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
a-ok
Now Playing: You should let me love you -- Mario
Chocolate makes everything better.
I'm sorry for being all crazy and psycho and crap earlier. (I'm just psycho I get a little bit outta control wit my rhymes -- shutting up.)
I'm gonna go eat my candy and chill .... I'm really not that psycho .... not always .... (see I told you I was crazy Josh!)
Monday, December 6, 2004
All Right Blast It
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
happy
Now Playing: That Kinda Girl -- Shaggy
Shush I like the song. I like Shaggy and ain't nuttin wrong wit dat. Lmao.
Blasted AOL. Blast my language. Blast it all! Lol. (Can't see my blog again.)
OMG guess who called in the middle of English class?! Yes, you guessed right! The obsessed, crazy, stalker x-boyfriend! Convo went something like this:
Him: "Where are you? I've been calling your house and getting no answer! What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm in English. What do you want?" (I should have hung up then. Or not answered it in the first place.)
Him: "When is your class over?"
Me: (Thinking, why does he want to know?) "Like one-thirty."
Him: "What building are you in?"
Me: "Why do you want to know?"
Him: "Just tell me damn it!"
Me: "No." (Thinking, wtf??)
Him: "B*tch, tell me where the f*** your building is!"
Me: "No."
Him: "Are you with what's-his-name?"
Me: "Who would that be?"
Him: "Your b*tch azz better tell me what I want to know! I'll come down there and smack the s*** out of you. What building are you in?"
I hung up. Creepy. I know he was on his cell phone, which he only uses when he's in a car. I have no clue where he was. So yeah I went back into class and all. I haven't seen him which is good. He hasn't called again. Also good. Maybe he's just messing with me for whatever reason. I mean, he wouldn't actually hurt me. Not on purpose, not for no reason. I know that.
Woohoo Cristmas party on Friday night! (Amber, you rock! Gotta call you. Much to talk about. You won't believe!) Should be interesting. Yep yep.
I hate Mrs Smith. I hate math. I have math final on Wednesday. English final on Monday. English paper due on Wednesday. (OH S***!!!) Grrr. I got a C on my argument essay. Oh well, I don't really care. I hate nonfiction. Drives me nuts. It's so fricking boring! Lol.
Josh I miss you! *muah* Peace y'all (oh my god I'm so Gretchen Wilson ...)!
Friday, December 3, 2004
Babysittin and directions
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
rushed
Now Playing: Nothing
I get to babysit Brycson!! Yay! He is the most adorable kid I've ever seen. (He's my best straight-who's-a-lesbian friend's sister's baby.) *grins* I love that kid. I can walk into the room, and he starts laughing or smiling or babbling away in babytalk. It's so cute.
God, I need to learn the names of streets dammit. I could give you incredible examples of how dumb I am about street names, but I won't because if anyone finds out, I'll never ever live it down. (It involves Crain Highway....)
So yeah. Oh how I hate the orthodontist. The orthodontist and leaves are the top two on my hit list. Tomorrow, leaves will be no. 1. (I hate raking.) I went to the orthod. earlier. My teeth aren't too sore. No new power chains thank whatever gods there may be. Kept my colors, pink and black. (I'm kinda starting to like the combo... I might buy an article of clothing that's pink... I can't believe I'm considering it, how girly....)
And now I have to find a way to amuse myself for the next hour or so before I leave to babysit.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Blasted Punk Rock
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
rushed
Now Playing: 1985 -- Bowling for Soup
Grrr. I had to pick something with music, didn't I? Stupid me. I have tons of stuff to go through and not enough time to write it all down. I'm stuck in the 80's. (Haha, shut up.)
Hmph. This is stupid. I should probably take another break, but then I'll panic and become totally uncontrollable. Blast Mrs. Smith! And blast it all, I have yet to even look at any of my other h/w or junk that I have to do around the house (clean my room, vacuum, etc.). *puts hands over my face* OK. I'ts 5.00 now. I have till 7.00 tomorrow morning to get this done. That gives me something like 14 hours to do this. Minus sleep. *takes deep breath* Haha, I can do this!
Oi. Oi vay. Jidho, when you talk to me again, yell at me for not starting this earlier. (At least I took a shower, lmao Natalie.) Alright, off to research some more. I need some Black Flag stuff lol.
Monday, November 29, 2004
It's November 29
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
down
Now Playing: C'est la vie -- Vanessa Carlton
It's November 29. For those of you who know what that means, you know why I'm down. Yes, the magic number 18. Minus me.
That's OK with me ... and I understand and all ... but it kinda hurts, you know? I've been kicked out of it all. Like I said, I understand and all ...
But off of that depressing subject. No one wants to hear my grief. I went to the library -- got two new books (I know! Books I haven't read! Omg!) and two old faves.
The Gospel According to Larry, by Janet Tashijian, is awesome. And anything by Carol Plum-Ucci is great.
The She, What Happened to Lani Garver, The Body of Christopher Creed, all classics according to me. All depressing as hell though. At least I didn't get
Hard Love this time. I almost did.
The new ones,
I am Morgan le Fay, by Nancy Springer, and
Big City Cool, a short story collection. I haven't started them yet.
This new album is inspiring me to write. I have a brilliant idea based off of two of her songs combined. I really need to find someplace to send my stuff. I could be rich if people would just publish what I write. But nooo, all they want is mainstream or poetry. OK, I can do poetry, but it's not my thing. Short story, fiction, some slice-of-life occasionally, lots of crazy people stories. I do stuff that you don't see every day.
Apparently there isn't a friggin' place anywhere that I belong. Not Boston. Not Philly. Not Charleston. Not D.C. Not Richmond. Nowhere. I fit in just fine, but I don't belong. I'm an alien (lol Natalie), one of the people everyone looks at and thinks "freak," one of THEM.
White Houses. I love this song. It hurts to listen to it, though. Kinda comes a bit too close to home.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses Except it wasn't summer. And it wasn't who you think it was, because I didn't know. I don't care if I'm talking in riddles. If no one gets it, that's fine. I don't care.
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses There is way too much in this song. Eh, everything fades. Even vampires grow tired.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Construction
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
energetic
Now Playing: Get Low -- Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz
Sorry, my blog is a bit hard to read, I'm working on my friggin' background to make it do what I want =). Stay with me.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
I Need A Favor
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
cool
Now Playing: Nothing
Someone posted a comment on that one depressing entry, the one with the stories. For some retarded reason, I can't see it. (Damn AOL.)
Will someone please email it to me? nevonahil@lycos.com
Thank you!!
D@mn parental controls
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
accident prone
Now Playing: What You Waiting For -- Gwen Stefani
New background. Hope y'all like it. I'm the only person I know who says y'all ... I'm all "y'aawl" ... so Southern ...
Carry sweet Southern comfort, carry on....
Yeah I'm out there and spacey and very accident-prone ... man ...
I'm gonna get some sleep and get my "straight-who's-a-lesbian" friend to do my nails 'cause I can't do them right and then I'm gonna sleep some more....
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I'm Tired and I So Fncking Don't Want to Go to CSM Tomorrow
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
mischievious
Now Playing: Figured You Out -- Nickelback
I want to stay home and fncking sleep. I don't remember what I'm supposed to do for English class (nothing new there lol). Not only can I not focus on anything for more than 30 seconds, but I can't remember anything for 5 seconds either.
My mind is so fncked up ... it's not funny anymore. Maybe it's weed withdrawal. (Ice! I need a favor, man! I'll pay you back, I promise...*does the tongue thing* lmao. No, seriously though....) Naw, Queen Byatch likes to run drug raids on my room. Shitaki mushrooms. Damn it I need to do something!! (Someone take all the sharp objects out of my room please *cough*LayLay*cough*) I'm gonna go crazy. I need an adrenaline rush. Hmmm...that gives me an idea *mischievious grin* (Thomas! Got a match? Lmao.)
You know, if I think about it, this is the sh*t that got me shipped to therapy, isn't it? (Yeah Nat, and you think
I'm fncked up!!) Damn I hated that place. (And they thought it would get me to stop cutting...my ass.) Yes, I'm going
morbid. Why is it so wrong to be morbid every once in a while?! Maybe some people LIKE being morbid! Maybe some people have a strange fascination with death! Maybe some people have *gasp* -- heaven forbid --
a death wish! And if I feel like talking about it or being morbid in general, then damn it I will be morbid. (Especially because I forget anyone actually reads this until someone says something to me about it lol.)
Fact: I used to cut.
Fact: I am suicidal.
Fact: I am bipolar.
Fact: I am an x-stoner.
Fact: I am fncking
insane.
Hey, let's hear a cool story, kids!
One day, a girl was alone, locked into a study/bedroom/storage room with nothing to do while her family went off to drown their own sorrows. She poked around in her suitcase and found a pretty, soft, gray scarf with fringe on the ends. She sat down on the pullout bed and thought about what was going on: Her mom had pretty much left her dad for a while, taken the kids up to grandma's, and then left the girl alone while mom fncked up her life some more. The girl had been wandering apartment halls and hanging out with guys who didn't really give a sh*t about her and only wanted her to fnck them. No one cared about her. The girl started to cry, sitting there on that pullout bed. She took off her necklace, the silver one with the gothic cross on it. She pulled her hair back. Looking back down on the bed, she saw the scarf. She had to do something. She picked up the scarf and wondered how long it would take her to pass out from lack of oxygen.
Turns out, it takes about ten seconds. That girl still has the fncking scar on her forehead. Crescent shaped. Slightly darker than the rest of her skin. Indented. Tiny burn mark at the top.
Wasn't that a nice story? You want another? OK, kids. One more. Then it's bedtime.
Another day, the girl was very sick. She had a fever and kept shivering, but no one paid any attention. Her mom told her to get up out of bed and watch her little brothers while she went to the store for painkillers -- painkillers for her mom. (Her mom was a little sick, too, but in a different way.) The girl fell on the stairs and got a headache. Her littlest brother was crying because he was hungry. She got her brother something to eat and looked in the medicine cabinet for something for her headache. She saw a full box of Triaminic. She slipped the box into her pocket and went to the pantry. She grabbed a box of Goldfish and a glass of milk. Then she went downstairs to her room and started eating the Triaminic tablets like they were candy. After number seventeen, she couldn't take any more. She lay down and almost didn't wake up.
OK, time for bed. Sweet dreams, kids!
Thursday, November 18, 2004
All right damn it
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
don't ask
Now Playing: Real Love -- Some country singer
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I HATE COMPUTERS!!!!!!!! I REALLY DO!!!!! Plus I'm already in a sh*tty mood. I can't see my won fncking blog yet again (who cussed this time?) I can't change my avatar on Oasis and AOL is stupid. I hate computers. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I have the godd@amn right to be in a bad mood >:O. As usual any comments please email them to me (nevonahil@lycos.com). Grrr.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Fnckin AOL
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
cool
Now Playing: Simpsons on TV
Damn it I had a wonderfully funny and disjointed entry all set to post and AOL kicked me off. Piece of sh!t. Fnck Steve Case yo.
Anyway. It involved Beyonce and my ever-shifting sexuality and Kelly and *Josh* and ummm who else .... Eh. It was great. Oh well. (Oh yes, Kelly, if there ever was a chance I'd do it with you, this is the chance. Hint hint. I remember that much.) I'm feeling crazy sexy. And a bit spontaneous. More than a bit LOL.
There is something behind me and now I'm scared to look because I think it's a bug. *shudders* I hate bugs. Or maybe it's a burglar. Oooh, I'd get to use the shotgun! Or maybe the rifle! *eViL grin* Or maybe it's a snake. I hate snakes too. No wait, never mind, it's the washing machine *feels stoopid*
I get paranoid when I'm home alone in the dark damn it! Stop laughing at me!
Damn. I need to get out of the house. I need to go to ... Kelly's house, or Amie's, or possibly Michelle's. I'm in the mood to be all flirty and sh!t. (Amie ... you still got them silk sheets?) Hmmm. Or get someone to come over here. (Michelle, my parents are gone till nine ...)
FnCKIN' CEILING THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY GODD@MN CEILING AND IT'S FnCKIN' SCARING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No never mind it was a ladybug. Excuse my hyperness. Where was I?
Oh yeah. My women (LMAO Jeannie -- my main bitch! Who you callin' a pimpstress now?! What?! LOL) I need a sedative ... One last thing ...
(Yeah *Josh* I started it that time ... *muah*)
Peace byatches!!!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Thanksgiving and Christmas
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
mischievious
Now Playing: Together -- Avril Lavigne
Thanksgiving is next week. AAHH!!! That means going to my aunt's house and staying there all day with nothing to do except hang out with Brittany (although she isn't as bad as she used to be, she used to be real snotty and all) and that's not so fun. Then comes Christmas.
I still don't know what to buy for half my friends. That's pretty bad. (Kelly, I refuse to give you what you want. Just shut up about it. I wasn't exactly thinking straight when that happened and it is NOT happening again. And don't even think about trying to get me drunk again so I'll do it. It won't work.) So yeah. *remembers last December and wonders how half that shit happened in the first place* Oh well. The only holiday I have to worry about is New Year's. But back to Christmas. PEOPLE, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Within reason, please. (No, Ashley. I refuse you too. You can apply Kelly's message to "our" ... whatever.) Hmmm. I need to start thinking about which girls I'm gonna hook up with this year ... *gets an eViL grin*
I love Christmas. Now if only I can make it through Thanksgiving.
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