Wednesday, December 22, 2004
The mall and junk
Topic: ~ * today * ~
Mood:
down
Now Playing: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!
I get to babysit Brycson!! YAY!! I love that kid. And maybe, possibly, later in the day I'll go to the mall. (If I can get a ride....) I'm trying to take Natalie because it's her birthday and all.
HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY, NATALIE!!!
So yeah. And I feel lousy as hell. Oh well a shower and some food should fix that.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Omg Omg
Topic: { * holiidaiiz * }
Mood:
lazy
Now Playing: Who's To Say -- Vanessa Carlton
It's 4 days till Xmas!! Woohoo!! Which means it's 3 days till Xmas Eve!!
Xmas Eve is when the present-opening starts. It lasts until Xmas night. Twenty-four hours of presents!! And then the shopping spree. Yay!!
There is one good thing about winter. We always have the fireplace going. So in the morning, when I feel lousy, I can curl up on the couch and read and be all toasty warm and relax.
That I like. All I need is some hot chocolate and I'm good. I even have my white chenille blanket :D. My book for today is either going to be
East of Eden or some Xmas-y book. The other great thing about the fireplace is that I don't have to blow-dry my hair. I can just let it dry in front of the fireplace. Woohoo! Plus, it feels nicer.
This is going to be my comfort spot this winter apparently. Not my bed, not the pillow in the corner of my room and not my tree. The fireplace. (What was my comfort spot the first year I lived here?) Mmmm. Now I need my hot chocolate. Today is going to be a good one. Hopefully.
Yesterday wasn't so bad after all. *Josh* came over and we had fun. (That woman should have had her head bitten off dammit. She was mean.) We watched a movie -- very long movie lol. (Natalie, you missed it. You would have laughed your azz off at me. I tried DDR. LMFAO is all I have to say about that. I suck.) Although my dad was all mad and acting sh*tty for no reason later. Stupid fights. Lol oh well. (Natalie, I gotta call you!!) *muah* I miss you Josh. Love you.
Monday, December 20, 2004
I'm Ruining People's Lives Again
Topic: ~ * today * ~
Mood:
accident prone
Now Playing: Worst Day Ever -- Simple Plan
I'm ruining people's lives again. Today is not turning out well. I ruined lunch. My mom was making bread and I told Greg to take it out of the bread machine 17 minutes too early. Not on purpose, mom told me to call him on the cell phone and tell him to take it out. Well, she failed to mention to check the timer before I told Greg to take the bread out. Then I got blamed for it and was given the silent treatment for three hours after we got home. (On the way home, I got screamed at.)
I did something else too, but I forget what it is at the moment. Somehow I got blamed for the fire going out too, even though I wasn't home and there wasn't a blasted thing I could have done about it. I got yelled at for wearing a tank top. How stupid is that??
Oi. Plus my skin is driving me nuts. I hate having combination skin. Oily skin and dry skin is crazy! I have to moisturize half my face and dry out the other half. It's ridiculous. Why can't I be like 90% of the female teenage population and just have dry skin? Since it's winter, it's twice as bad. My cheeks and lips are chapped and everything else is blah. I hate skin.
Something good about today. *Josh* is coming over. Yay! I'm not crazy anymore. Which is good. Oh oh yeah. I know I'm getting The Killers CD for Xmas. And my pinstripe hat. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I have a pinstripe jacket and a silk cami to go with! What else do I know I have ... the Destiny's Child CD ... I think that's all. Xmas is five days away!! Ahh!!
*muah* I miss you Josh.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
chocolate and an apology
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
a-ok
Now Playing: You should let me love you -- Mario
Chocolate makes everything better.
I'm sorry for being all crazy and psycho and crap earlier. (I'm just psycho I get a little bit outta control wit my rhymes -- shutting up.)
I'm gonna go eat my candy and chill .... I'm really not that psycho .... not always .... (see I told you I was crazy Josh!)
boston and philly
Topic: { me }
Mood:
blue
Now Playing: My happy ending -- avril Lavigne
Christmas depresses me. Christmas and New Year's and february. Even my birthday depresses me.
I decided to try getting boston out of my system. So I started writing about it and found that I can't finish it. (i have this little problem where I don't remember exactly what happened. It always seems different every time I think about it. Dunno why.) All my memories got jumbled up. I started writing about the Aquarium and realized that that trip wasn't the one with the apartment and sophia. Somehow I remembered going back to the apartment after the Aquarium and then my mom left but I KNOW that's not how it happened. Blast my over-active imagination. It starts making stories out of anything and everything, with or without my permission.
I don't get it. How do I know the way all of that really happened, and yet get confused and remember it a different way at the same time? How can I KNOW something and remember it different at the same time? This is ridiculous. (See? i told you I'm crazy!)
The first trip to Boston was fun. I was introduced to Caribbean music and the swan boats. There was the river with the docks and the bridge and I went shopping with Uncle Greg (who is awesome) and it was great. Then the Aquarium happened. My mom told me to carry the camera bag (which is black, old and HUGE) cause she was tired. so I traded steven's stroller for the bag and the bottom immediately dropped out and everything went flying. Everything crashed onto the tile floor and I thought I broke it all. So I started picking everything up. Then my dad stalked over (he didn't walk, he stalked) and started yelling at me. There was this huge crowd of people who had just stopped and were watching. I tried to say it wasn't my fault, because it wasn't, and he smacked me and told me to put it back in the bag. After that, he said I embarrassed him in front of the entire Aquarium and wouldn't speak to me the rest of the day (which was fine with me).
Plus, I had to sleep in the same room as him. I hated that too. After the Aquarium, i just hated being around him at all.
Somehow I thought that it was after the Aquarium that mom left and took me to the apartment and all. Dunno how that happened. After the aquarium we went to yankee Candle. Then we went home.
There is a lot of crap tied up with boston. Once i get it all sorted out, I can make a story about it and then we'll see about explaining what I just told you all today. It's very confusing and weird. Especially because the second time around, I almost always felt like I wasn't really there. But we'll see about telling that story.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
And things like chemistry
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
a-ok
Now Playing: Chapped Lips and chapstick and things like chemistry -- Relient K
Actually I don't remember the real name of the song and that's the only part I remember but it's stuck in my head still so yeah.
I saw Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events yesterday!! Me *Josh* and Natalie went. ("Oh mu god!! The house fell off!!" "She's got some big-azz lips..." lmao.) It was great. They better make sequels. There's more to the story, people!
A strange thing has happened -- my mother let me ride in *Josh*'s car. She's extremely paranoid about teen drivers and crap. According to her, any teen in a car will have an accident ten minutes after her spotting them just because they're under 20. It's ridiculous. (Funny, but ridiculous.)
Stranger still --
Natalie's mom let her ride with us. Natalie's mom is worse than mine. (She won't let Natalie get her learner's until she's 17.) I swear she has split personalities. There's her nice, happy side, and then there's her mad, evil side. Kinda weird.
Not only did I go to the movies, I went Xmas shopping. (Wow...) God, I haven't a clue what to buy my brother. Or my dad. I could get my bro a DVD. But as for my dad ... I'm completely stumped. (I could buy him a wig... lmao, the mohawk!) Oh well.
I am determined to dye my hair back to normal, get it trimmed, and dye the ends bright red. No one and nothing is stopping me this time. Mwhahaha! Don't ask.
Oh great. I hear yelling and arguing and screaming. And I think that was the sound of a china plate hitting the wall. Yep I'm gonna go hide now...
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Aduh and cookies
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
chillin'
Now Playing: Angel's Punishment -- Lacuna Coil
Aduh. That and ba. And tukah. What are they?
The language of Brycson. He's soooo cute. I "talked to him on the phone:
Me: Hi, Brycson!
Him: *silence* ... BA!!!
Me: *laugh* Where's Tata?
Him: *extremely loud* ADUH!!
Lmao. Adorable. He says "outside" too, something like "uhti!", complete with pointing at a window or door. I walked in the door the other day to get my laundry and he sees me and gets this huuuuge smile on his face and started running over to me. (I can walk into the room and he'll start laughing. I didn't know I was THAT funny-looking! Lol.) Yeah I like this kid.
I made cookies. No, I baked cookies. And made six bowls of frosting. That's sad. I can't cook! But no, my mother says to make two dozen cookies. OK, I make the cookies. Then I make three kinds of frosting (because that's the best part), and six colors. Plus sprinkles. It was BIG. The whole table was completely covered in baking crap. (Including a mixer that broke.) So yeah. I've had like three cookies and they actually taste good! Yay for me lol.
The OC is on tonight!! And I have the house to myself. Everyone else is going to Court of Honor. (Not me. I went once and hated it.) I should hook up the surround sound ... oooh ... *mischievious grin*. Popcorn and chips and cookies and chocolate and the OC and surround sound and a couch ... perfect. I'm lovin' it. (OMG, I'm a Mickey D's commercial ... HELP!)
I'm confuuuuuuuuuuused!!!!
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Now Playing: Nothing -- No One
I'm confuuuuuuuused. I don't get it. Is it just my life? Is it just me that gets all the drama? I don't like being a drama queen!
OK. So the people who are dissing me are taking my side against other people who are dissing me? Huh? I don't get it. (They really must be dissing me cause they know it makes me mad then....) Would everyone please shush and make sense? I'm not bright! We all know this! Either diss me or don't! You can't do both! This isn't fair.
I don't get it. You diss me to my face and then turn around and defend me behind my back ... there's something muddled about that! If you're taking my side anyway, why are you dissing me to my face?!
(It's OK to be nice to my boyfriends. You needn't treat them like s*** or tease them. It's OK to say that you like them -- you don't have to turn around and say that "he's not a total loser" later, when he's around. OK Natalie? I'm gonna have to call you about this.)
OK. I'm just going to call people because I don't want to do this on my blog. There is TOO MUCH drama. I hate drama. I hate being a drama queen. Makes me look and act like a cheerleader. *shudders*
*muah* I miss you *Josh*.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
*insert generic title here*
Topic: { * eVerythiNg * }
Mood:
irritated
Now Playing: Papa -- Vanessa Carlton
Heather chill. You have some serious issues. You need to back the f*** off me. Find someone else to harass. It's getting old fast.
I'm serious, people. Not just Heather. The ones I'm talking to know who they are. You all need to back the f*** off before I get pissed off. There IS a limit to the amount of crap I'll take. That limit is getting severely pushed as I type. Stop getting all up in my business. Stop messing with me. Stop picking at me for whatever. OK?
I don't really care whether you like who I'm dating or not. What ticks me off is the way EVERYONE disses me behind my back and to my face about it. Get a f***ing life, people. I know a lot of you are jealous. Get over it. It's YOUR fault if you can't get someone of your own. Stop trying to f***ing keep me single and unhappy. Stop it.
I don't understand WHY you people insist on trying to ruin my life when I'm so f***ing happy!! What is so wrong with me having a boyfriend and being happpy?! Why can't you just be f***ing happy for me?
I feel bad for the next person who calls me. (Not bad enough that I won't f***ing break a window screaming at them, though.)
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
AAAHHH
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
bright
Now Playing: Private Radio -- Vanessa Carlton
Yeah I got my CDs back. Thank you Gray!!! You're awesome. I can live now that I have my life's soundtrack playing. (There is a song for absolutely everything I do, no lie.)
So. I was supposed to go have dinner with Josh and his mom tonight. Turns out his mom had to work, so we'll probably end up watching a movie or something.
The Lemony Snicket movie comes out on FRIDAY!! (Lol -- slippery slope!) Josh and I are going. (Natalie, do you or do you not want to see it? I can't remember....) Yay!! I loooooove the Lemony Snicket books. Violet is my favorite. Sunny comes in a close second, though. (Jim Carrey rocks! LOL) Fun fun. Of course, I didn't read the books in order. But that's OK.
I'm still getting weird phone calls on my cell. And now I'm getting hate e-mail. (Well, I was already getting hate e-mail from MoveOn and Oasis but they don't count.) See, everyone just luvs me! *rolls eyes* NO MORE HATE E-MAIL!
Hmm. I know there was more I was going to say. Of course I can't remember now. Crap. It'll come to me at 3 AM. Till then, peace.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The rest of the story
Topic: ~ * today * ~
Now Playing: Christmas-y music
The tree fell on me.
It was acutally quite funny. I was standing there with three ornaments in my hands and I was looking at the tree, and I thought, "Hmm it looks like it's moving." Then BOOM! It fell and landed on me. My mom goes, "Great catch, Ducki!" I was like, "Uhhh... yeah. Get it off me." Lol.
So that was the "good" part of the day. (Oh btw Josh, I can go. I think. Long story.) Bad part of the day: Apparently the psycho is stalking Josh. (Natalie ... if I find out you had something to do with this ... *glares*.) Josh was in the mall, in the food court, and apparently the psycho was there and was staring at Josh. (Sears uniform, brown hair ... yep that's him.) What I want to know is whether the psycho knows who Josh is, or was just doing his creepy stare for no reason.
More bad part of the day: Everyone in my house is touchy and tense and grouchy today. Therefore, it's hard to keep my temper in check. (Run, run far away.) The lack of music doesn't help any. Nor does the constant yelling and glaring among family members. (God ... talk about looks that can kill ...)
Remembering that I can take a shower and wash my hair tomorrow is getting me through. That and remembering that Gray will bring me my music back. Hopefully. (That sounds weird.)
Off to check my email.
Christmas trees
Topic: { * holiidaiiz * }
Mood:
lazy
Now Playing: That song about when a ho was a ho and a screw was a screw and coke was a coke
We have to butcher a tree today. Kill a poor, innocent evergreen to make our house smell nice and look pretty.
Sounds like great fun to me. I love cutting down the Christmas tree. I love putting all the ornaments on it. And if I have my way, I'll do it while singing along to Alicia Keys' Christmas album. Or Adam Sandler... I love his Thanksgiving song and his Christmas song. (I only get to hear those on the radio though.)
Unfortunately, I have no CDs to listen to in the car. Well no, I have three CDs, and none of them work in my CD player (I don't know why), and that amounts to the same thing. So. I'm still music-less. Curse my blonde-ness! I even went back into Amber's room right before I left and still didn't see the CD case! There is a downside to being blonde....
Oh well. I can live till tomorrow.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I think it's my house
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
irritated
Now Playing: Absolutely NOTHING and therein lies the problem
I left my entire CD collection at Amber's house last night.
Anyone have a clue as to how ticked I am? I can't live without my Lacuna Coil yo!! It doesn't work that way!! I NEED my Harmonium!! My Avril! I can't survive without my Amy Lee ... I love Amy Lee ... and my Seether ... *cries*
Plus I'm tired. (I don't care if I was the first one to pass out, I'm tired darn it!!) Oh god, no one could shut me up last night. I started laughing at Tinkerbelle and Shannon and Purple and I could not stop. Tinkerbelle started it all. I tried, I really did. (Sparkle didn't help any!!!!) I couldn't shut up. It was baaad.
The best part of the night? That's tough. It was all great. (Tinkerbelle!! DON'T TOUCH! Lmao.) And Purple was awesome! You look fahhhhbulous, dahhhhling! (We gave him a makeover and turned him into a queen. He actually didn't look half bad!)
Turns out, Purple (aka Gray -- what's with the colors, dude?) goes to CSM. He takes English 1010 in the ST building, noon to 1.25. So yeah I'm gonna have to stalk him on Monday *evil grin*.
And I need to get my CDs back. Fast. Sh*t. It's already driving me nuts. There's nothing on the radio. Radio = crap.
I'm tiiiiiiiired. I need to study. I hate English.
Oh by the way, I don't appreciate being dissed like that. Yes, it was dissing me. I am freaking sick of everyone picking on me because I have a boyfriend. (Some people are jealous, I know.) Damn it just leave me alone. Especially to my face like that (*cough*JillianandCourtney*cough*), major major NOT COOL. F*** you. What is it with everyone?? You ALL do this with EVERY person I go out with. F*** OFF.
Friday, December 10, 2004
FREAKING POS OF A BLOG
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
don't ask
Now Playing: There Goes My Life -- Kenny Chesney
I hate Angelfire. It won't do what I want it to!!! Stupid colors!!! I want green and red and brown and purple. (It looks cool, no matter how bad it sounds.) And nooooo, it either makes me have a freaking bamboo border on my side panels or it makes the background white instead of green.
Bah. Bah HUMbug, I say!!
Rain Sucks
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
energetic
Now Playing: Half a Week Before the Winter -- Vanessa Carlton
Rain sucks. Yes, I'm working on my blog again, new links etc. I'm gonna change the colors too eventually.
Out of curiousity, how many people have my cell phone number?
Out of those people, who's giving it out to weird people I don't know??
Just wondering :) (I'm gonna kill you....)
Anyway. I spent an hour making a white rat out of clay. Very fun. At first it looked like a reindeer crossed with a rabbit (very odd). Kinda funny. But it looks cool now. I'm gonna try a rose next. And put a teensy little clay faerie inside. The rose is gonna be black and the faerie will be all dressed in crimson. She's gonna have blue eyes and I dunno what color hair yet. Green maybe. Or red. Or black. Or blue. I dunno. I think I'll name her Nicnevin, after the Unseelie Queen. (Read
Tithe by Holly Black.) Or I could name her Lutie Loo. Siliarial. Nah, I like Nicnevin. The "evil" queen. I think Silarial was the evil one, despite the fact she ruled the Seelie Court. It's all a matter of opinion.
Arwen, lol. I never liked Arwen that much. She was too good. I liked Galadriel better. At least she was tempted. But no, Arwen is pure goodness. Drives me nuts. Ooh, I could name my faerie Catherine. After Cathy in
East of Eden (John Steinbeck). Maybe. Catherine Nicnevin. There we go. Catherine Nicnevin she is.
People say they can see faeries and ghosts and crap. I wonder if it's true. (I know faeries exist dammit. I refuse to be talked out of it.) I heard that if you take a picture and you see these little white or green sparkly-flashy things after it's developed, you have a picture of a spirit. Sometimes you can see them out of the corner of your eye. (God knows I see enough "imaginary" crap lol.) You know what would be cool? Seeing a pixie. Those things are awesome.
OK enough chatter about faeries and crap. I'm hungry. Off to find food!
Thursday, December 9, 2004
Random Crap
Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
bright
Now Playing: My Boo -- Alicia Keys and Nelly (I think, I could be wrong)
OK. Life isn't a disaster. I fixed my face, I revived my hair, and I did all my laundry. So. Life isn't a disaster.
God I'm tired. OMG the O.C. is on tonight!!! No one call me until 9 pm. I won't answer the phone. (I love Marissa ... I love Seth ... I love Ryan ... hell I love Summer too ... :D) And after the O.C., if no one calls me, I'll most likely go to sleep cause ... nvm I'm not revealing why.
I miss you *Josh*! :( *muah* But I'll see you tomorrow so I'm not going to die lol. (Shut up Kelly. I repeat, No!!)
Oh God my family has chosen Saturday to get our tree. We cut ours down instead of buying pre-cut or having a fake tree (fake trees are just so ... frickin' FAKE! lol), so this means traipsing out to some tree farm and cutting down a tree in freezing cold, rainy weather. (My mother is extremely picky about the tree. Like, we can spend hours waiting for her to decide between a spruce and a fir. It's ridiculous.) Yippee. (Note to self: Bring CD player and CDs. And mud-proof, water-proof shoes. And old clothes.)
And now Friends is on and I'm missing it. (I love Friends!!!) Peace maf***as!!! (You know it ain't true ... lmao Jeannie.)
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
Xmas
Topic: { * holiidaiiz * }
Mood:
lyrical
Now Playing: Santa Baby -- Macy Gray
This is the only version of the song I like. Kinda sad, isnt it?
There's an Xmas party on Friday. Woohoo! OMG the Billboard awards are tonight :D Evanescence is performing!! *dies of a heart attack at the thought of AMY LEE LIVE* And Maroon 5, and Usher I think, yes yes yes I love award stuff. Gwen Stefani, is she on too? I love her too. GWEN ROCKS YO!
Annie
Her little arms around my neck / And a dying girl whispers in my ear / Tell me now can you feel it
I've been keeping company with ghosts / She comes to me like a piece of summer / She comes to me on the days when I need it most ....I love this song.
I'd give my bones for you to get a few more years / For you and I, oh Annie / More to life than trying to survive, oh Annie ....So sad but so pretty, like Private Radio. I dunno, I like the sad but pretty music. (Hence my buying the Brad Paisley CD for Whiskey Lullaby.) Nymphetamine is a good song. Join Me is a good song. All of Harmonium is good. Comalies and Angel's Punishment are good, by Lacuna Coil. Broken is good. My Immortal, Hello, they're good. Driven Under is good. All sad but pretty.
"Pretty girls in dresses always look sad." True?
Tuesday, December 7, 2004
short and sweet
Mood:
don't ask
Now Playing: san francisco -- vanessa carlton
why am i typing all lower-case? because i want to. this is how i normally write anyway.
josh, i miss you *muah*
ice, i need to see you about that something we talked about, remember? that thing that needed fixing? please? i swear i can pay you back in a few weeks. call me.
ummm what else ... i'm so tired it's not funny. maybe i should just go back to sleep. after i check my e-mail and s***.
oh yes, my news: i may be moving out soon. my parents hate me and i hate them. so they may be kicking me out. i haven't figured it out yet. i'll let you know when i have it straight. (anyone got a couch/bed/floor/whatever i can borrow until i find someplace to stay?)
Monday, December 6, 2004
All Right Blast It
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:
happy
Now Playing: That Kinda Girl -- Shaggy
Shush I like the song. I like Shaggy and ain't nuttin wrong wit dat. Lmao.
Blasted AOL. Blast my language. Blast it all! Lol. (Can't see my blog again.)
OMG guess who called in the middle of English class?! Yes, you guessed right! The obsessed, crazy, stalker x-boyfriend! Convo went something like this:
Him: "Where are you? I've been calling your house and getting no answer! What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm in English. What do you want?" (I should have hung up then. Or not answered it in the first place.)
Him: "When is your class over?"
Me: (Thinking, why does he want to know?) "Like one-thirty."
Him: "What building are you in?"
Me: "Why do you want to know?"
Him: "Just tell me damn it!"
Me: "No." (Thinking, wtf??)
Him: "B*tch, tell me where the f*** your building is!"
Me: "No."
Him: "Are you with what's-his-name?"
Me: "Who would that be?"
Him: "Your b*tch azz better tell me what I want to know! I'll come down there and smack the s*** out of you. What building are you in?"
I hung up. Creepy. I know he was on his cell phone, which he only uses when he's in a car. I have no clue where he was. So yeah I went back into class and all. I haven't seen him which is good. He hasn't called again. Also good. Maybe he's just messing with me for whatever reason. I mean, he wouldn't actually hurt me. Not on purpose, not for no reason. I know that.
Woohoo Cristmas party on Friday night! (Amber, you rock! Gotta call you. Much to talk about. You won't believe!) Should be interesting. Yep yep.
I hate Mrs Smith. I hate math. I have math final on Wednesday. English final on Monday. English paper due on Wednesday. (OH S***!!!) Grrr. I got a C on my argument essay. Oh well, I don't really care. I hate nonfiction. Drives me nuts. It's so fricking boring! Lol.
Josh I miss you! *muah* Peace y'all (oh my god I'm so Gretchen Wilson ...)!
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Oh. My. God.
Topic: * my man *
Mood:
incredulous
Now Playing: Alan Jackson -- 5.00 Somewhere
What? What? What? Me? What? Are you sure? Me? What? Whoa. Brain overload.
What?
I'm not weirded out or anything. I'm extremely surprised. I'm confused (lol shush Nat). I'm just like .... What?
And none of you have any idea what I'm talking about. (TBH, I'm not sure I know what I'm talking about.) Hmm. I could tell you here. Or I could make you go to *Josh*'s blog.
Oh wow. Yeah I'm gonna make you all go to
Josh's blog.
Me? What? Me? Are you sure? Wow .... I mean .... Wow .... Give me a lil bit to get used to this .... *muah* Josh I miss you ....
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