Topic: [ [ stuff ] ]
Mood:
Now Playing: Mockingbird -- Eminem
Check out > > Wiith a Twiist < < and click on "life at 7teen". It's more or less my life in pictures, one for each year.
Hopefully it works.
Lord it's only noon and I've had three Pepsis. What I really want is some Coke and rum... get drunk and forget all my stupid problems. Hey it could be worse. I could be craving razor blades or something. At least drinking isn't going to hurt me.
Why are parents idiots?? Why do they have to fight all the time?? Hell. Damn. I hate it when they fight. I hated it when I was little, I hated it when I was 13, and I hate it now. Why won't they make it easier on everyone and just split the frick up?? Or maybe my mom will follow through on her threats to poison my dad one day. Arsenic or a ton of Valium in his drink at dinner. Haha. Yeah it's sick but if you were me, you'd laugh too. I could mix up a nice sleeping potion for him. God knows I have enough pills in my dresser drawer to kill half of D.C. But shh, it's my little secret.
Ugh. I'm doing it again. Poking at myself with little sarcastic barbs disguised as stuff I spit at other people to make them angry. It's like smacking myself. Or stabbing with a needle. Twisted way to put myself down, but that's what it is.
How does the song go?
I guess things aren't how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's WWIII
No one cares ... no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
And money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me...
Parents are idiots. I hate parents. Well, no, I'm OK with my mom. I hate my dad. Hate him with a flaming passion.
*self portrait: a rarity*
(taken directly from personal journal)
there's a child inside me, on her knees, crying and wailing. she's been left behind by everyone and no one loves her. she's shivering, alone, in a kaleidescope of blue and grey. and it feels likeher heart is pumping the blood straight out of her veins. she can almost see the blood all around her, just pouring out.... there's a hurt inside her that's too big to heal.... she can't even begin to explain the way it feels to hurt this much. she hurts so much she can almost feel it all over her body and it won't go away and there's no one there to help her, if it's possible to help.
Damn good writing, if I do say so myself. If I could, I would show you what she looks like, but I can't. I can only paint pictures with words. Unfortunately, sometimes words aren't enough. Which is why I put together life at 7teen. If you put some of the pictures together, you'll get a pretty good idea of what she looks like inside.
The weird thing? I only feel like that at night.
Love and Kisses, Ducki
at 12:09 PM EST
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