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Thursday, January 13, 2005
I'm Moving Out
Topic: ~ * today * ~
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: I Won't Be There -- Simple Plan
I'm moving out.

Temporarily.

My dad is still treating me like shyt and I'm getting tired of it. If he's still acting like this tomorrow, then I'm gone for the weekend. Screw him.

So today I have to wash all my clothes. Open my checking account. Figure out the blasted W-4 and other assorted forms. Go back to the library and get my schedule. Get a shower at some point. And remember to eat something so I don't get yelled at for being "anorexic". {How am I anorexic if I'm a cube?!}

I think I can do all that. I hope. And the library stuff I have to get done before 8.00.

Making it through today is the only thing I'm concentrating on. Oh and getting my mom to let me go to the mall tomorrow. {Extended escape time lol!!} Those damned forms are going to cause me the most trouble because I don't speak legalese. {How the hell do people do their taxes if they don't know wtf is going on half the time?! THIS is how the government is getting all our money. They do it on purpose. And the accountant people are in on the scam. I bet the government is paying them off to make people lose more money than they need to. Lmao.} Anyway.

The one thing that irritates me the most is the way my dad acts like I'm stupid. {Remember the telemarketer, Nat? That mofo!!} He treats me like I'm stupid, worthless, invisible, a pain. I can't do anything to make him happy. Nothing I do is good enough for him. All I want is for him to stop being mad at me. Is that too goddamn much to ask??

Yes, I'm aware that my dad and I have never been on "good" terms. But it was never this bad. I don't know what I did, I don't know why he's mad at me, I don't know how to fix it, I don't know how to make everyone happy, I'm just clueless. As usual. He won't talk to me and tell me why he acts like he hates me. He just glares at me. I never ever thought I would say this, but that kinda hurts.

I need to talk about something happy. I sound ridiculous. {Think happy thoughts!} Oh lord. I've been pulled in. Damn reality/dating shows. I've started watching BMOC. There's this one girl on there, Michaela, who is totally me. Naturally, she has to win, according to me. Why? Because she's just like me and I understand her {kind of} and yeah. She's all insecure and tries not to show it and she's not sure what's going on but she knows what she wants and I was sitting there watching the show and thinking, "That's how I feel. Maybe she has more of a clue than I do and I can figure out how everyone else does this confusing thing called 'being an adult'. Except I'm not an adult. I'm just being treated like I'm one." Michaela is either 18 or 19, I forget which, and she's the youngest girl on the show.

Yeah, she's my celebrity personality all right.


Love and Kisses, Ducki at 9:27 AM EST | Permalink | Share This Post | Post Comment |

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