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Thursday, November 4, 2004
{insert generic title here}
Topic: nothiing iin partiicular
Mood:  down
Now Playing: The End of Heartache -- Killswitch Engage
Yes I am semi-depressed. Back to the Zoloft. Yippee. I'm so damn tired all the time. All I want to do is sleep. I'm not functioning right.
I don't know if I'll actually post this. I don't want everyone thinking I'm all angst and typical teen. I know my life from looking at this blog may seem like that, but it's not. Or maybe it is typical teen crap, but it's not totally depressed and angsty and so on, is it?
Then again, why should I give a f*ck? It's my blog and I can post what I feel like posting and I shouldn't be thinking about how I sound. If no one likes it, fine. I don't care. To borrow from Stefani, It's my life!!!
So. I'm tired and nonfunctioning and I don't like it. *changes song to* Mein Teil -- Rammstein. I love this song. Maybe if I listen to more nondepressing stuff (no more Lacuna Coil or Evanescence for awhile) I'll get better. No more Eagles. Funny how I talk about anything on here and yet in real life I would die before I talked about it with anyone. I hate sounding needy and sh*t.
This is a very disjointed post.
I'm reading Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen. It's kind of funny in a way. There's this one part where Miss Crawford and Edmund are talking about Fanny, and Miss Crawford says, "Pray, is she out, or is she not?--I am puzzled." They go on, talking about how to determine whether a young lady is "out" or not. Apparently, if a girl wears a closed bonnet, she is demure and not "out." A girl who is "out" has confidence and is not afraid to speak out. So am I out? It depends.
"Till now, I could not have supposed it possible to be mistaken as to a girl's being out or not."
Unfortunately, it's much harder to figure out now. Girls flirt with everyone. I swear, even if a girl kisses you on the cheek, it doesn't mean she's bi or les anymore. This is getting ridiculous. I think all females are at least bi.


Love and Kisses, Ducki at 12:32 PM EST | Permalink | Share This Post | Post Comment |

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