Project Mayhem.:.:We maim an offend:.:.

Here's a good example of Project Mayhem at its best. A blast of the past from our roots, from the orginal assholes; Myself, and one Jeff Boehl of Dundalk Maryland. Ok. Here's the scenerio: A few years back, my sophomore year in high school I attended Patapsco High and Center for the Arts, where I befriended Mr. Boehl, Rickwood Der, and others. Now among these individuals I met, there was one that pissed me off to no end...well...after I moved from the educational facility. Now this one "friend", if u will, had the audacity to say some derogatory things about my then girlfriend. So I investigated and found out that he liked her and was going to try to get her to cheat on me with him, as if that were going to happen. Being the asshole that I am, I decided to fuck with his mind and expose him to my good friend mr. Boehl who then published the end result on Mr. Der's homepage. Little does this Everquest addicted retal itch know that he is infact talking to yours truly on my then girlfriends screenname. Here is a resurection of the "Tainted Conversation" to kick off Project Mayhem with a little sick humor.

junior14mwb: I am being real bad
ChiketaBanana54: huh? wut do u mean?
ChiketaBanana54: r u masturbating?
junior14mwb: you put a thought in my head
ChiketaBanana54: really? wut kinda thought?
junior14mwb: a bad one
ChiketaBanana54: details
junior14mwb: me and you
junior14mwb: in a bed
ChiketaBanana54: really?
ChiketaBanana54: thats not a bad thought
junior14mwb: yup
junior14mwb: ok
ChiketaBanana54: ok? jus ok?
junior14mwb: don't make me horny now
ChiketaBanana54: y not?
junior14mwb: if you want to you can
junior14mwb: r u horny?
ChiketaBanana54: a little
ChiketaBanana54: y?
junior14mwb: jw
junior14mwb: is bryan there?
ChiketaBanana54: no...he has to be at school til 6
ChiketaBanana54: he'll be over at like 7
junior14mwb: you made me horny now
junior14mwb: r u home alone?
ChiketaBanana54: really? r u gonna masturbate?
ChiketaBanana54: yea
junior14mwb: do you want me to?
ChiketaBanana54: yea
junior14mwb: what are you wearing?
ChiketaBanana54: Just a ahirt and a pair of tiny shorts
ChiketaBanana54: shirt*
junior14mwb: what else?
junior14mwb: you there?
ChiketaBanana54: thats it
junior14mwb: bra or underwear?
ChiketaBanana54: nope
junior14mwb: you wanna get wet?
ChiketaBanana54: yea
junior14mwb: get naked for me
ChiketaBanana54: ok
junior14mwb: you got to rub yourself as I cyber with you
junior14mwb: and think about it happening
ChiketaBanana54: ok
junior14mwb: I wish I could see you
junior14mwb: right now
ChiketaBanana54: i wish i could see u too
ChiketaBanana54: r u masturbating?
junior14mwb: yes
junior14mwb: u?
ChiketaBanana54: r u really? I find that really sexy
ChiketaBanana54: yea
junior14mwb: what is your bra size?
ChiketaBanana54: 36 B
junior14mwb: you hairy or shaved?
ChiketaBanana54: right now? hairy
junior14mwb: so what do you want me to do to you?
junior14mwb: so what do you want me to do to you?
ChiketaBanana54: anything u want
junior14mwb: can I fuck you
ChiketaBanana54: yes right now
ChiketaBanana54: i need it
junior14mwb: I kiss you on the lips as I rub my hands over your chest
ChiketaBanana54: which lips? junior14mwb: mouth lips
junior14mwb: I am not down there yet
junior14mwb: I will be soon
junior14mwb: oh you have nice tits your nipples are hard so I suck on them a little and lick them
junior14mwb: oh your pussy looks so delicious
junior14mwb: when is the last time you had sex?
ChiketaBanana54: a week ago
junior14mwb: I shove my cock deep in you and begin to go in and out of your pussy
ChiketaBanana54: how big r u?
junior14mwb: I go real slow at the begining and then speed up to the point where you are groaning
junior14mwb: 7 inches
ChiketaBanana54: wow
junior14mwb: I fuck you harder and harder and faster and faster
junior14mwb: I rub your tits hard as I continue to fuck you
ChiketaBanana54: yes yes
junior14mwb: I go faster and faster that you begin to scream my name
junior14mwb: oh baby you are so good
junior14mwb: I suck on your tits real har
ChiketaBanana54: harder harder
junior14mwb: I go in and out faster and faster as I suck on your nipples
junior14mwb: oh baby I want you bad so my balls bang against ya as I go deep
junior14mwb: I begin to moan my dick is like a rock
junior14mwb: I pull it out and shoot my cum in your mouth
junior14mwb: oh baby suck on this
ChiketaBanana54: mmmmm
junior14mwb: you wet baby?
ChiketaBanana54: very
junior14mwb: I wish I could come and eat you right now
ChiketaBanana54: me too
junior14mwb: when is the last time you had your period?
ChiketaBanana54: dont worry about it
junior14mwb: ok
junior14mwb: because I heard that girls taste the best right before
ChiketaBanana54: i dont shared that wit people
junior14mwb: they about ready to have it
junior14mwb: ok
junior14mwb: that is up to you
ChiketaBanana54: well i taste good no matter what
junior14mwb: do you love me?
ChiketaBanana54: I dont know u like that
junior14mwb: ok
ChiketaBanana54: if we did hook up it would be for casual sex at first
junior14mwb: maybe I can change that
ChiketaBanana54: u dont mind do u?
ChiketaBanana54: I said at first
junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: that is fine
ChiketaBanana54: hold up a sec
junior14mwb: k
ChiketaBanana54: what if bryan finds out?
junior14mwb: he won't
junior14mwb: if I keep my mouth shut and you keep yours shut
junior14mwb: nothing would happen
ChiketaBanana54: He would eventually...he always finds out stuff...i cant keep my mouth shut *wink wink*
junior14mwb: well we can just do it once and if nothing happens
junior14mwb: we are cool
junior14mwb: and then we can do it again
ChiketaBanana54: ok
ChiketaBanana54: u'd really do this?
junior14mwb: yeah
ChiketaBanana54: arent u suposed to be bryans friend?
junior14mwb: yeah i am
junior14mwb: but I am not hurting him
junior14mwb: As long as it don't go beyond us having sex
ChiketaBanana54: oh...it will if he finds out
junior14mwb: and you still go out with him it is fine
ChiketaBanana54: he'll be seriously pissed
junior14mwb: how would he find out?
ChiketaBanana54: he would trust me
ChiketaBanana54: but thats ok
junior14mwb: *kisses*
ChiketaBanana54: *smootches*
junior14mwb: so what are you doing right nowa/
ChiketaBanana54: now i think i want you more then him
ChiketaBanana54: listening to music
junior14mwb: you have your clothes on?
ChiketaBanana54: on Napster
ChiketaBanana54: not all of them
ChiketaBanana54: the shirts gone
ChiketaBanana54: it got kinda hot all of a sudden
junior14mwb: are your shorts soaked?
ChiketaBanana54: yea
ChiketaBanana54: did u masturbate?
junior14mwb: yes
ChiketaBanana54: did u cum?
junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: taste your pussy and tell me what you taste like
ChiketaBanana54: no thats ok
junior14mwb: well if you won't do it then I guess I have to
ChiketaBanana54: hells yea
ChiketaBanana54: what r u doin?
junior14mwb: *puts hand down Kelly's shorts and
tastes his fingers when he is done*
junior14mwb: mmmmmmmmmm
ChiketaBanana54: feels so good
junior14mwb: I liked ya the other night
ChiketaBanana54: wut do u mean?
junior14mwb: when I saw ya I was like damn that's Kelly
junior14mwb: hell yea
ChiketaBanana54: oh...hehehe
junior14mwb: I had to behave though
junior14mwb: Jeff and Bryan were there
ChiketaBanana54: y?
ChiketaBanana54: and wut would they have done?
junior14mwb: I was going to kiss you goodnight
ChiketaBanana54: really?
junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: it would of been cool
ChiketaBanana54: I dont think i wouldve been able to control myself
junior14mwb: same problem here
ChiketaBanana54: hehehe
ChiketaBanana54: whatcha doin?
junior14mwb: just checking email
ChiketaBanana54: oh ok
junior14mwb: ok
junior14mwb: what else
ChiketaBanana54: u gonna come over
junior14mwb: I may be over in February
junior14mwb: where is that at
junior14mwb: where is that at exactly
ChiketaBanana54: ok...try to get here before then...I need it
junior14mwb: oh really
junior14mwb: what is your last name
junior14mwb: isn't like C????
ChiketaBanana54: Go down eastern ave and get on Back River Neck RD (the road that leads to chesapeake0 I'll meet u at the Royal Farms there
ChiketaBanana54: its Collier
junior14mwb: that's cool
ChiketaBanana54: talk dammit
junior14mwb: is it before the bridge or am I way off
ChiketaBanana54: its way after the bridge
ChiketaBanana54: you know where it starts to look like the country?
ChiketaBanana54: right before u get to chesapeake
junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: I know
ChiketaBanana54: its the Royal Farms before u get to that
junior14mwb: what you are talking about
ChiketaBanana54: u've been to chesapeake right junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: so do you like me a lot?
ChiketaBanana54: a little...I cant really say right now
junior14mwb: ok
junior14mwb: hehe
junior14mwb: when did you start to feel like this?
ChiketaBanana54: hehehe
ChiketaBanana54: when i started talking to u the first time
junior14mwb: for real
junior14mwb: did you get my pic???
ChiketaBanana54: yea I saw it
junior14mwb: I have a pic of something but I want for you to see it in person
ChiketaBanana54: i wanna see it now
junior14mwb: I did have a crush on you when I first started talking to you
ChiketaBanana54: really?
junior14mwb: yeah
junior14mwb: never told anyone though
ChiketaBanana54: y?
ChiketaBanana54: u shouldve told me...then this wouldnt be so hard
junior14mwb: why
junior14mwb: it would of only hurt me and you
ChiketaBanana54: cuz...he's kinda attatched
ChiketaBanana54: y?
junior14mwb: because if I was wrong and you didn't like me back
junior14mwb: I would look stupid
ChiketaBanana54: hehehe
junior14mwb: and if you did like me back Bryan would hate me
junior14mwb: but Jeff would be proud
junior14mwb: how ironic
ChiketaBanana54: he wouldve kickd ur ass
junior14mwb: no
junior14mwb: he would of just disowned me as a friend
junior14mwb: nothing too big
ChiketaBanana54: no seriously...he wouldve kicked ur ass
junior14mwb: he wouldn't go that far
ChiketaBanana54: I'm pretty sure he would
junior14mwb: so you going to think about me tonight?
junior14mwb: I have to work tonight you know
junior14mwb: at taco bell
junior14mwb: 9 pm to 5 am
ChiketaBanana54: I'll think abotu u ever nite
ChiketaBanana54: every*
junior14mwb: for real
junior14mwb: have you ever dreamed about me and you?
ChiketaBanana54: not recently
junior14mwb: what did you used to dream about?
ChiketaBanana54: I dunno...i cant remember exactly

Disturbing wasnt it? And the moral of the story is: Never fuck with a member of Project Mayhem and then arbitrarily expose a weakness cuz we WILL exploit it to the greatest of our abilities! A great man once said, "Revenge is a dish best served cold.", and believe me, We're Liquid Nitrogen in this bitch. Anyhoo; You can find Mr. Bullard in Best Buy in the Nottingham Shopping center in White Marsh, right by White Marsh Mall where I hear he is currenly employed. Shake this guys hand for startin Project Mayhem with a BANG, or should I say SPLAT! Be sure to was your hands afterwards. Stay tuned for other outrageous conversations and meanderings. So until then, be shameless, be offensive, be an asshole...be ME.