And here's the FBI warning, and Mike Tenay tells everybody that piracy is bad. Never would've figured that a traditionalist person like Tenay would be against the free sharing of media...

And here we come with a recap of what happened on December 17th, which was the last live show of 2003. Jarrett cost AJ Styles and D'Lo Brown their "dream" tag match against Simon & Swinger, thus taking away a possible NWA World title shot from AJ and D'Lo, and giving a NWA World Tag Team title shot to Simon & Swinger. In the six-man cage match at the end of the night, Raven was about to DDT Abyss when CM Punk and Julio Dinero FINALLY turned on him, giving him a Con-Chair-To, thus costing his shot at the NWA World title. Tonight, we find out what Jeff Jarrett's "surprise" is going to be, Raven's mystery partner (who almost everybody can see coming a mile away), and who will win the second Ultimate X match (the participants are: the X-Division champion Michael Shane, former X-Division champion Chris Sabin, former X-Division and Tag Team champion LowKi, and former Tag Team champion Christopher Daniels).

3 Live Kru perform their new song, and it sucks. Who woulda thunk it? They changed the TNA opening theme (for the third or fourth time), and this time it's actually GOOD. They show highlights of TNA from 2003, and the black and white intro video (with the CGI statue of somebody applying an armbar) also features Erik Watts and Don Callis over it in a "Callis and Watts present..." thing. Now, considering neither have ownership of the company, in real life and in kayfabe, I don't quite get this, but hey, it's cool. Awesome highlights, and I'm pumped for the show.

Out comes Jeff Jarrett, and we're already, like, 10 minutes into the show. No matches yet? Starting a PAY-PER-VIEW (got it, Dutch?) off with a promo is not only bad booking, but also bad luck. Every single TNA started off with a promo has been decent-at-best thus far, but Dutch books for free TV, which TNA does not have (outside of the syndicated Xplosion), and I'm left wondering why Dutch is booking when the shows have gotten less live response and less internet response. Considering the only two fanbases TNA has are those in Nashville and those on the internet, making both mad is a BAD idea. Blah blah blah, typical "I'm great" JJ promo, and his surprise? He has some dirt on the NWA Board of Directors, and wants Watts to resign.

So out comes Watts (ugh...this is taking forever), and at TNA's New Year's party (I guess), Goldylocks was at a bar, and Don Callis told her that his side would be the winning side, and she'd be well-paid to join his side. She wants to know how much money she'd get. I SMELL AN EXTREMELY EXPECTED AND NOT NEEDED SWERVE! Call me crazy, but Dutch's booking is so cliché that I'm not really digging anything outside of the one good match per card. I don't care for the angles, I don't care for the promo's, and I don't care for the main event AT ALL. Oh...Watts says he won't resign, so Callis can shove that contract where the sun doesn't shine (which, unless you're a nudist, means your private parts). Out comes a masked man on steroids to attack JJ, and he's sent to the back. Who is that masked man? ONLY THE SHADOW KNOWS!

To the back with Scott Hudson, who interviews Simon & Swinger. Typical "we want the belts" stuff, and Gilberti says "WE will win the belts." Simon takes offense, and says that they'd still have the belts if not for David Young. Either David's going to turn face, or Simon & Swinger are. So I'm just waiting for the first match of the night, and now, at around 8:25, it's ready to start. 20 minutes after the first match SHOULD start is when it starts tonight. This isn't looking good, guys.

MATCH ONE: Abyss/Redshirts vs. AJ Styles/America's Most Wanted
WHY?: Because Callis hates AJ Styles and America's Most Wanted, despite not having a solid reason for hating either. Oh how I LOVE Dutch's booking. Abyss and AJ Styles had an awesome *** match a few weeks back that most TNA fans still talk about today (mostly because of how amazing a worker Abyss is for a hoss), and AMW and the Redshirts have had some beef for quite a while.
THE ACTION: Legend and Storm in first, and a nice headscissors from Storm. Kick to the guy, and then a Buzzsaw Kick, followed by punches. Harris AND Styles are tagged in, and they whip Legend into the corner, where AJ does the moonsault dropkick, followed by a double bulldog from AMW. AJ covers for two. Legend blocks the whip, elbow to Styles' face, and in comes Northcutt, who misses a clothesline. Exchange of rear waistlocks, and Styles flings Northcutt out of the ring. Legend enters, but AJ tosses him over. In come AMW, and Harris backdrops Storm onto Legend and Northcutt. Harris up top, and a flying plancha to the outside. AJ looks ready to join in, but Abyss whiups him, misses a big boot, and charges only to be rana'd to the floor over the top rope. Northcutt has the belt, back in the ring, and whips Storm. Legend with a blatant choke while the ref tries to get Harris to go back on the outside, and Legend tosses Storm outside, the ref distracted by Styles entering, and Northcutt is whipping Storm like a bitch. Now Styles is in punching Legend, but the ref forces him back out.
Back in the ring, and Legend holds Storm for a Northcutt kick to the midsection. Whip the corner, but Storm reverses for a Tornado DDT attempt, which turns into a Northern Lights suplex into the corner. OUCH! That gets 2. Storm's reaching for a tag, but Northcutt has him by the hair and tags in Abyss, who hits an Avalanche in the corner. Whip to the ropes, and a HUUUUGE flapjack gets 2. Abyss tags in Legend, and then tosses Storm outside. Legend whips Storm with HIS belty, and Harris is now outside, but the ref makes him go back into the corner. Legend rolls Storm back in and covers for 2. Storm is placed on the top, and Legend goes for a Superplex, but Storm pushes him off, and then hits the Inverted Tornado DDT. Storm lunges at Harris for the lukewarm tag, and in comes Northcutt to brawl with him. Harris ducks a clothesline and hits him with a full-nelson slam. Legend goes for a running lariat, but Harris hits a Thesz Press with punches. Abyss in, and he knocks Harris down. Now it's all kablooey, as Styles hits a flying crossbody onto both Redshirts. Outside the ring the Redshirts go, and Styles hits a somersault plancha. In the ring, AMW double-flapjack Abyss, and go for a double Spear, but the Redshirts pull them out. Abyss now stands alone in the ring, wondering why nobody wants to play with him.
In comes AJ with a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK~! AMW and the Redshirts are too busy brawling outside (nice Superkick to Legend from Storm), and are whipping them with their own belts. The referee is distracted, and misses AJ flip out of a German Suplex attempt by Abyss, only to hit a sweet Enziguri. Styles Clash...NO! Jeff Jarrett runs in and knocks AJ out with the belt, and then Abyss hits the Blackhole Slam for 3.
RATING: **3/4. Everybody was ON, but the interference and shortness hurt it.

A video package for TNA's 2003 Babe of the Year, Trinity, rolls. It's the same one shown earlier in 2003 to hype her up during the Kid Kash angle (when he was the abusive boyfriend), only they end it with Sonny Siaki saying Trinity would have never won BOTY without him. Kid Kash, who has been assigned by Jeff Jarrett and Don Callis to make sure everybody is on his side (and earlier forced Sarah the ticket lady to sign the contract), tries to get Sonny to sign, and Sonny says "piss off" before leaving. Kash puts his arm around Trinity, and Trinity looks disgusted as she walks off.

Mmmmm...eclaire...

Up next is the NWA Tag Team title match, as Simon & Swinger won the "dream" tag match on December 17th.

MATCH TWO: 3 Live Kru {c} vs. Simon & Swinger for the NWA World Tag Team championships
WHY?: 3 Live Kru defeated Simon, Swinger, and Gilberti for the Tag Team belts a month or so back, and they've (Simon & Swinger) wanted the belts back ever since. They won a tag match on 12/17 for the shot, and here it comes.
THE ACTION: Konnan does the typical "ORALE!" crap, and the cameras focus on the Juggalo's (as ICP was advertised for tonight's show) as they look like they couldn't care less. BG punches Simon a little, but Swinger knocks him down before going to his corner. Simon whips James in, and then BG starts the Shake Rattle & Roll punches, but Simon ducks the big right and BG hits Swinger. Simon with a knockdown, and gets 2. Tag to Swinger, and they both whip BG in...sideslam/inverted DDT combo gets 2. Swinger with a blatant choke, and then he tags in Simon. Simon begins wailing on BG, but BG comes back with a few punches before Simon knocks him into the ropes and tags to Swinger, who hits a pair of boots in the corner, then a snapmare, and he rips at BG's face. Swinger with a tag to Simon, and they trade boots before whipping BG into the ropes. Simon/Swinger go for a double Novacaine, but BG fights out and tags Truth in. Truth with a melee of punches to Swinger before whipping him off the ropes and hitting a SWEET powerslam. Why isn't Truth in the World title scene again? Truth hits the twisting forearm on Simon, and then the twisting Axe Kick to Swinger. Swinger and BG brawl on the outside as David Young interferes with a spear...but Truth moves and he hits Simon. Truth with the spinning side kick to Young as Gilberti takes out Konnan outside. Truth then hits the Gordbuster onto Simon for the pin, and 3LK retains.
RATING: Weak, weak match. *, and that's for Truth's awesomeness.
Now David and Simon brawl, and Gilberti and Swinger separate them. Ha, Swinger's face is in Simon's as he holds him back in the corner.

Out comes Kid Kash as Simon & Swinger, Gilberti, and Young exit. Kash gets in the way of the cameras as they focus on Tenay and West, and Tenay calls him on it. A video package that promotes AAA and IWA Puerto Rico rolls, and I must say that the package, well...sucks. It's edited nicely, but the scenes of action are poor. AAA just shows Juventud Guerrera doing some of his standard stuff, and then David Young and Michael Shane are highlighted. I like the Hectagon ring, though. Shane hits an enziguri onto Jason The Terrible, and then Young hits the spinebuster onto Heavy Metal. Resthold Kid with a Superkick onto some dude dressed like a kaiju, and followed with a 'rana to somebody I do not know the name of. Haha, wow...the canvas of the AAA ring has an ad for "Corona Extra" on it.
The IWA footage is just stuff that makes your average backyard wrestler look like Chris Benoit, and it seems like the IWA is just Puerto Rico's WWE.

Back to live, as Kash forces Tiny (the overly obese TNA bell-ringer) to sign the contract. TNA Blackshirt security comes out, and Kash begins punking Chris Vaughn (a rookie wrestler that serves his role as head of the TNA Blackshirts; he's not too bad at selling, and has some decent timing, but he's DEFINITELY a rookie). Cut to a backstage promo with Scott Hudson interviewing Raven, and oh how the mighty have fallen. This might just be the worst TNA Raven promo, and it hurts me to say that a Raven promo could be bad, considering I mark for Raven more than anybody else (including Flair and Foley). "I think you hear me knocking, and I think I'm coming in." What the SHIT is that?

Back to the ring, where Kash is cutting a promo about how Vaughn is a pissy bitch. "I...am the K-I-D." Yes, we know. We've known. We'll still know. But you're in your mid-30's, so you should change your name to just "Kash." Vaughn takes the clipboard with the contracts on it as Kash turns his back, thinking he's just convinced Vaughn to sign it, and BAM! Vaughn hits Kash with the clipboard, and a referee comes out, presumably to separate this. Tiny rings the bell, yells "KICK HIS ASS," and we have an ECW-style impromptu bout!

MATCH THREE: Kid Kash vs. Chris Vaughn
WHY?: Kash is being a bitch to Vaughn, and Vaughn isn't going to take it lightly.
THE ACTION: Aside from the aforementioned clipboard shots, standard brawling from Chris. Kash with a lariat, but Vaughn's back up and brawling some more. Kash begs off, and Chris whips him into the ropes. Kash with a Sunset Flip attempt, but Vaughn starts punching. Kash gets up, knees Vaighn in the midsection, and hits a Brainbuster onto his knee. Kahs begins punking the referee out, and here comes Don Harris. The referee turns his back, getting revenge on Kash for punking him out. Harris with a big boot, whip, and then a one-man H-Bomb. Heavy D pulls Vaughn on top, 1...2...3.
RATING: Dud. Nothing of worth, but I do dig Chris Vaughn, and think he has a decent future.

Backstage with a Gathering promo, and Julio looks like that preppy kid in high school that listened to The Cure and Skinny Puppy. Basically, a smiling, happy-go-lucky goth. CM cuts a pretty decent promo about how he hates Raven for always pushing him back, and then they pose as a video package of what happened on 12/17 rolls. I'll skip right to the match...

MATCH FOUR: CM Punk/Julio Dinero vs. Raven/???
WHY?: For months now, Raven has been telling Punk and Dinero to leave him alone. Recently, they'ved teamed up as The Gathering twice to help defeat insurmountable odds. On 12/17, however, Punk and Dinero finally had enough of Raven's crap, and hit him with a Con-Chair-To just as he was about to DDT Abyss for the win and a shot at the NWA World title. Raven has vowed revenge, and has announced that he has a mystery partner to help take out Punk and Dinero.
THE ACTION: Out come Punk and Dinero to a theme that they did not use when tagging as faces, and they stand there while Raven's video and music plays, him entering. Raven's out, his face painted like Road Warrior Hawk (RIP), and behind him we see, in the crowd, THE SANDMAN. Who didn't see THAT coming?
Staredown to start, and Raven slaps Punk and Julio down before the bell. Now, why does Sandman start, when RAVEN wants revenge? Hell, why is THE SANDMAN his mystery partner, and not somebody he not only has a positive history with, but also could tie into The Gathering? I do not know of anybody that fits this criteria, but I do know that anytime The Sandman and Raven team up, I think about when Raven took Sandman's wife and son away from him, and how, kayfabe-wise, they should never be friends. Raven's looking a little chunky tonight, and seems to be slightly winded from his walk to the ring. Not a good sign.
Raven with a kick to Punk's nuts, and a DDT attempt, but Punk bails. Sandman's in to start, as is Julio. There's the bell, and Raven is pounding away on Julio in the corner. Tag to Sandman, and Raven hits the drop toehold as Sandman hits a top rope legdrop. Sandman brings Julio to his feet, pushes him into the corner, and hits him with a big chop, followed by another. Sandman with a series of overhand chops, and then lifts him up and drapes him over the top rope before climbing up top and delivering a legdrop to Julio. Sandman scoop slams Dinero down, and then a slingshot legdrop misses, but Sandman's up first, and another big chop in the corner before whipping him across to the other corner, followed up by a back elbow and a big left to knock Dinero down, and then another. This match is BORRRRING. Another big left, and then another. Sandman goes back up top, and misses a somersault senton, allowing Julio to tag Punk, who flies off the top with a dropkick. CM drags Sandman into the corner of the ring, and chokes him with his boot before hitting a series of knife-edge chips and punches that send Sandman into the corner for the BOOTSCRAPES! The camera misses the running bootscrape, and thus I hate the production crew. Julio's tagged in, and hits a kick to send Sandman down, where he followes with mounted punches before Raven breaks it up. Sandman's up, and Julio with a left, another left, and then another left before doing some ghey thing with his hands and a lariat. Sandman punches Julio, but Dinero hits an STO, and tags in CM, who coems off of the top rope with a legdrop. Tag to Julio, who connects with a moonsault for 2.
Tag to Punk, who misses a corkscrew senton, allowing Sandman to tag in Raven. Down goes Punk and Julio, and then Raven sends Julio and Punk into the same corner, sandwiching the referee. Running lariat to Julio in the corner, which is followed by the bulldog/lariat combo to Julio and Punk. From the crowd comes a man cloaked in all black with a mask and robe, and Raven finishes corner punches on Punk before knocking Julio off of the apron. The cloaked figure has chloroform, or something, and holds it onto Raven's mouth, allowing Punk to DDT Raven for the pin.
RATING: *3/4. Sandman was utter crap, and Raven didn't look too good. The crowd was decent for the match, but nothing much happened.
Punk and Julio are up on the paron with the cloaked man as Sandman tends to Raven. The cloaked man takes off his hood and mask, and he is...FATHER JAMES MITCHELL! I'll admit I didn't see this coming, but what sense does it make to re-start a feud that ended a month and a half ago? The Raven/Mitchell feud died the moment Raven took on Vampiro.

We cut backstage with Scott Hudson as he interviews The New Franchise. Resthold Kid is screaming, trying to convince himself he's good (which he's not), while Shane is all "shut up and calm down." Douglas begins cutting a mint promo, just as he always does, and says that the reason Ultimate X 2 is happening is because of politics. Or, Shane, because RHK can't do much in a one-on-one match, and needs two of the best US indy workers (LowKi and Christopher Daniels) and a TNA upstart (Chris Sabin) to carry his ass. RHK begins slapping himself to hype up, and his lack of charisma killed this interview until Douglas saved it by being awesome.

Back to the ring, where Tenay is with Erik Watts and Goldylocks to present the "Mr. TNA 2003" award. It's all down to Jeff Jarrett and AJ Styles, and Tenay looks upset while reading the ballot...BUT IT'S A SWERVE! AJ Styles is "Mr. TNA 2003," and Jarrett is beside himself with anger. Me? I don't give a damn, because I can't stand Jeff Jarrett or Erik Watts. Out comes AJ to accept the award and celebrate. Here comes Jeff to bitch, and a challenge is laid down for next week: Erik Watts and AJ Styles versus Jeff Jarrett and Abyss. If Jarrett/Abyss win, Jarrett gets the "Mr. TNA 2003" honors, and Watts has to resign. If Watts/AJ win, then AJ gets a shot at the NWA World title that Triple J holds. (This promo has gone on WAY too long, and wasn't needed at all, really. So this is Dutch's "old-school" booking, eh? Seems a lot like he meant "1998 Raw" by "old-school.")

Some stupid promo for the TNA Swimsuit calendar airs, and it's just Goldylocks and Trinity, who appear to only be on three of the months (one together, one each separate). Why focus a minute's worth of airtime for hyping a calendar that has nothing, NOTHING, to do with PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING? Well, because TNA hates the fact that they had a pretty good formula with solid in-ring action by some of the best non-WWE performers in North America, and Sports Entertainment-style feuds and angles by the man that created Sports Entertainment, Vince Russo. West hypes next week, and I don't care for any of the matches, so I didn't pay attention. I hope you did. Well, if you're reading this, I've either held a gun to your head (pick which one), you didn't see the show and need a review since the Dames Diatribes for TNA are on hiatus due to his cable company sucking, or you happen to have found it by accident, so chances are that you might not have seen the show. Oh well. Check around the 'net for the card by Monday. It should be up.

A promo airs for Ultimate X 2, and Michael Shane somehow displays LESS charisma on tape than he does live by talking about how the belt is his. LowKi with your standard "not the size of the figher" stuff, and his voice is so deep you'd expect him to be a transsexual. Of course, I'd never say this to his face, because he'd kick my ass like I was named Tammy Lynn Sytch (OH, BURN), but I digress. Chris Sabin's up next, and he has this RVD-vibe to him in his promo's. He tries to sound all serious, but comes off as the stoner you hung out at keggers in 12th grade. Christopher Daniels talks about the wound on the side of his head that he received while wrestling RHK for the X-Division title, and then about how he nearly murdered LowKi just to receive a shot. Decent little video package, and the only one tonight that was worth watching if you've seen the 12/17 show.

MATCH FIVE: Michael Shane {c} vs. LowKi vs. Chris Sabin vs. "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels in an Ultimate X match for the NWA X-Division championship
WHY?: Michael Shane is the longest-running, and least-deserving, X-Division champion to date. He has defeated all three men through "nefarious means," and they all want the X-Division title. While this DOES increase the value of the X-Division title, Shane's overly long title reign decreased, since he didn't defend it for half of his reign.
THE ACTION: Chris Sabin enters first to his suck-ass theme, followed by LowKi (who has an AWESOME music video to introduce him), then comes Christopher Daniels (whose "Stinkfist" ripoff annoys me), and finally the Resthold Kid himself...Michael Shane (who I still want to just retire due to sucking).
There's the bell, and all four men stare at each other for a few moments. RHK and Daniels go for the belt, but get pulled down. Sabin with a whipe to RHK, and a 'rana as LowKi beats down Daniels in the corner. RHK kicks Sabin into the corner, and then trades chops with LowKi in the middle of the ring. LowKi and Shane are outside, and when Daniels goes for an Arabian Press to LowKi, RHK catches him with a Tarantula-style Boston Crab while Sabin holds his head, allowing Ki to kick him. RHK goes for a running lariat to Sabin, but gets pulled out of the ring by LowKi. Sabin with a NIIIIIIICE somersault plancha to LowKi and Shane on the outside, and then Chris Sabin sends RHK into the guardrails...as the picture loses quality. Daniels reaches under the ring to get a table, and sets it up. Sabin bext in the ring, and RHK slides in a chair before sliding in himself, and BAM! Springboard legdrop to RHK, sending his face into the chair. RHK ducks a lariat, and Sabin whips him into the ropes. Kick to Sabin's face, and then...CHAIRSHOT! On the apron, Daniels is going to try to powerbomb LowKi...NO! Angel's Wings off of the apron through a table? NO! LowKi fights out and goes for the Ki Krusher 99, and Shane comes over and kicks Ki, and he flies over the table. Daniels with a guillotine onto the top rope.
Daniels springboards off of the top going for the belt, but misses. He then climbs up the corner post and climbs the scaffold, shimmying across the cable for the belt...but RHK hits him with a chair. Michael Shane is finally not sucking. RHK sets up the chair in the middle of the ring, stands on it, and jumps for the title, but misses. Yeah, kid...I don't think it's low enough. Shane to the corner, and up the scaffolding to the cable. He's climbing across, but Daniels stands on the chair and grabs Shane's legs...AND RHK RANA'S DANIELS OFF OF THE CHAIR!!! HOLY SHIT!!! RHK DID A MOVE OTHER THAN A PUNCH OR A HEADLOCK!
LowKi tries to take out Shane, but Michael tosses him out of the ring, and Ki's leg gets clipped on the table. Daniels tosses Shane out of the ring, and looks at the chair, which is deformed due to the rana. He grabs another one, sets it up, and runs towards to kick off of it to reach for the belt, mere inches away. He tries again, but LowKi comes into the ring and hits a springboard kick to Daniels in MID-AIR that hurts his leg more. Ki slams Daniels face-first into the chair, and then climbs up the chair for the title, but Chris Sabin slides into the ring, runs, kicks off of Daniels (who is lying face-down on the chair) and hits a SWEEEEET enziguri onto LowKi. Daniels is up, and gtrades chops with LowKi until the two double-team Michael Shane with a chop each. Whip into the corner, and Daniels places Shane up top as LowKi applies the Hanging Dragon. Daniels, being the smart fucker he is, climbs the corner and the cable, but Ki releases the Dragon and does the same. Oh...shit...LOWKI APPLIES THE DRAGON CLUTCH FROM THE CABLES UP TOP!!!! Daniels drops down, but LowKi hangs on to go for the X-Division title.
ONLY TO BE MET WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK FROM SABIN! On the outside, Shane Douglas and Traci With An I come out with a ladder, but Elix Skipper fends them off and sends them packing. In the ring, Sabin hits a DDT onto the chair out of the over-the-shoulder powerbomb position, and goes for a baseball slide dropkick to RHK, but RHK has the ladder and dodges the kick. Sabin kicks the referee in the face, and the ref is OUT! Shane brings the ladder into the ring, but gets cornered by LowKi. Ki goes for the Tidal Rush...and BAM! Sweet Shane Music in MID-FLIP. Holy FUCK is Michael Shane awesome in this match.
The ladder is set up, and Shane climbs up...but so does Daniels. And...ROCK BOTTOM OFF OF THE MIDDLE OF THE LADDER! LowKi goes to give Sabin the Ki Krusher, but Sabin fights out and climbs the ladder. LowKi follows suit, and...GERMAN SUPLEX OFF OF THE LADDER!!! OH MY GOD!! Where the HELL is Joey Styles when we need him?!
Daniels pulls the ladder down, and uses it as a weapon on Michael Shane, and then LowKi. Daniels brings LowKi to his feet, and hits a Rock Bottom to set up the BME...and the BME connects. "BEST...MOONSAULT...EVER!" Daniels brawls with Shane in the corner, and then sets up the ladder. The Fallen Angel begins climbing, but Shane rushes up and knocks him off. Daniels pushes the ladder over, and then gives an Atomic Drop to RHK onto the ladder. Well, at least one thing's for sure: RHK won't have an RHK Jr. to teach.
Daniels brings Sabin to his feet, and his a sweet enziguri (every enziguri tonight has been sweet, I know). Daniels climbs the ladder, but here coems LowKi with some punches and chops, and the DOUBLE-HANDED MONGOLIAN CHOP DOESN'T KNOCK DANIELS OFF! A kick dazes him long enough for Michael Shane to push the ladder over, sending both Christopher Daniels and LowKi outside of the ring in front of the commentators' table. The referee comes to, and tries to get rid of the ladder (as using a ladder is against the rules), but Shane punks him out for it. Don Harris comes out and brings the ladder backstage, and Shane is PISSED. He climbs up the corner and the scaffolding, and Sabin JUMPS UP to the top rope, holding onto the cable in the corner, and beings KICKING THE SHIT out of Michael Shane. Shane doesn't fall, and then Sabin hits one more kick to his face, which sends Shane flying off of the scaffolding through the table outside (the one that Daniels set up). Sabin shimmies across the cable...go for it, go for it...YES! HE HAS AHOLD OF THE TITLE! But...it won't, uhhh...it won't fall. Well, I guess they learned the lesson from Ultimate X 1 and REALLY made sure the belt wouldn't fall. Sabin finally falls with the belt, and the bell rings, declaring him the winner. He celebrates by just raising his fist as a few "HAIL SABIN!" chants are heard, particularly in my living room while I'm watching this.
RATING: Well, let's see. The spots were all ON, the workers were all ON, the finish made total sense, and Sabin becomes the third 2-time X-Division champion (with AJ Styles, the only TNA Triple Crown winner, and Jerry Lynn being the others). Not only does Michael Shane not retain, but he also busts his ass off for once in his TNA career and was, I feel, the MVP of the match. Now for me to say this is huge, since anybody that has chatted with me about the X-Division in the past 4 months knows that I HATE Michael Shane. But he was just ON tonight. So, since every spot was good and hit, and everybody busted ass, I give this match ***3/4. The only reason it's not **** or higher is because it WAS a spotfest, wasn't as long as it could have been (hence why I HATED the absurd amount of promo time tonight for Jeff Jarrett and Erik Watts, as it took time away from the matches), and I felt there could have been some more intensity between Michael Shane and Chris Sabin. But, overall, drastically better than the first Ultimate X, especially since no ONE worker was focused on for too long (unlike in UX1, when Frankie Kazarian was the star of the show all throughout).

And what better way to close the show than with Jeff Jarrett blabbering to his lawyer (Tenenbaum, or something; apparently, he's a huge lawyer in the US these days) about how Watts fell into the plan hook, line, and stinker. Fuck you, Jeff Jarrett. You hoser.

Now, overall, tonight's show was pretty bland. The fact that the first match did not happen until almost 1/4 of the way into the show is bad, and there was way too much Triple J tonight. And yes, he truly has become a miniature Triple H, in nearly every sense of the word. His look isn't as good, his promo's aren't as good, his "great" matches aren't as good, he is the head booker of TNA and thus his politics aren't as good (if you run the company it's easy to put yourself over, but banging the boss' daughter and then getting your way through great BS'ing, now THAT takes talent), and he's nearly identical to HHH in every which way. Stable full of people nobody really cares about? Check. Matches nobody wants to see unless they're with somebody of far, FAR greater talent than him? Check. Nearly every match is a foregone conclusion? Check. Fans obviously aren't paying to see him at the top of the card, but he's there anyways? Check.
Redshirts/Abyss vs. AMW/Styles was solid, and Ultimate X 2 has been the best TNA match since Super X (in my opinion), but the entire show was dragging, and I nearly fell asleep. I would have had I not known Ultimate X 2 would be on last. TNA promised an awesome match, and they delivered. Congratulations, TNA. Maybe you can start making the entire product good again instead of just the X-Division. But hey, the X-Division has always been what people really tuned in to see, so it's a start.

-Corey Lazarus