I am blessed that my spouse has reached out for help and we are trying to piece our life together. Each day that passes a little more trust develops. But that takes a long time to re-discover. Keep in mind that the alcoholic is at the point where he feels he can do nothing without suspicion from everyone. He brought this on himself but try not to make him feel anymore degraded than he already does. Encouragement is what they need at this point. The smallest bit of praise can make a world of difference in them while they are trying to get past the guilt and withdrawal. As mad as they can make us, we have to let go of the past or things will never improve if they are always reminded of yesterday. This is a new day and if they are willing to make the changes to improve their life, you have to hold their hand as they make that trip. Keep in mind, if you are in an abusive situation where there is physical abuse or mental abuse, this may not be an option for you. However, if you have someone who is normally gentle and kind, then it may be worth the fight. Only you can decide which is best for you.