Life Loves A Tragedy
Kat Waters
Julie Kinsington glanced at her reflection and sighed, exasperated, before pulling the bathroom door open to head back downstairs to the party. Like so many parties before it, she found herself wishing that things were different, that things were like they used to be. Before she moved to San Francisco with her father. Before her mother… Julie pushed the thoughts from her mind and tried to put on her party face.
Suddenly, there was a tug on her
arm, and Julie drew her breath in sharply, panicking for just a second before
realizing it was only her best friend, Sam.
“What the fuck, Sam?” Julie said, pulling her arm away.
“How can you stand this?” Sam
gushed. “All of these,” she dropped her
voice to a whisper, as though what she was about to say was some kind of
secret, “rock stars!”
Julie stopped herself from smacking
her best friend in the face. “Actually,
Sam, I can’t stand it. At all.”
“I don’t understand you, Julie. You have some of the coolest, sexiest rock
stars,” again with the dramatic whisper, “in your house, and you
don’t seem at all phased by it!”
“That’s because I’m not
phased by it, Sam. My father has been
having this kind of people in our house since before I knew what ‘Unskinny Bop’
even meant.” She paused. “And actually, now that I do know, I think
it’s rather stupid.”
“I don’t get it! Even if I lived with these people all of my
life, I’d still be out of my mind about it!”
“No, you wouldn’t. Trust me on this one. They’re crude, loud, obnoxious drunks who
will fuck anything warm and wet. The
only difference between them and the frat boys we berate is big hair and a lot
more money. What’s to be excited about?”
“What’s to be excited
about? How can you honestly compare
people like Phil Collen and C.C. Deville to frat boys?”
“C.C. who?” Without giving her friend a chance to
respond, Julie sighed. “Look, Sam, as
much as I’d love to stand here and talk about all the super-cool bad boys that
my dad lets schmooze around his house, I have to go be seen. Unfortunately, I promised my father I’d help
him out.”
“Well, fuck, if you don’t want to,
I—“
“No. No, Sam, you won’t. I’ll
call you later, got it?” Julie ignored
the disappointed expression on her friend’s face and started to walk away. She turned at the top of the stairs and
added, “Don’t make an ass out of yourself on the way out. Seriously, Sam, these guys are fucks.” Thus saying, she began to descend the
staircase reluctantly.
§
Upon reaching the foot of the
stairs, Julie knew there was virtually no possibility of actually locating her
father. The entire downstairs was
packed with people, mostly ones she didn’t recognize, and most of them looking
quite intoxicated. For a moment, she
considered just going back upstairs, telling Sam to stay, and just telling her
father that something important came up between the two of them and she
couldn’t get away to help out at the party.
She knew, though, that her father would likely see through the flimsy
excuse, and besides, listening to Sam gush about the rock stars crawling all
over the house would be almost as tedious as actually dealing with them in
person. At least this way her father
would be happy.
Julie stepped down from the final
step on the staircase and began pushing her way through the crowd toward the
kitchen. Serving champagne or finger
foods was probably the easiest chore she could think of to undertake. That way, she never had to say more than a
quick, “Hello,” and it never looked like she was being evasive. Her father would probably tell her that they
“had people to do that, Jule!” but he counted it as “helping out” just the
same.
As she pushed her way through the smoky, loud swarm of people,
Julie felt eyes on her and glanced toward the doorway leading from the foyer
into the living room. Leaning against
the doorframe was one of the many longhaired musicians that she spent so much
time trying to ignore. He looked
familiar, Julie supposed, but then, didn’t they all? They were constantly on the cover of magazines, their pictures
covered the walls in parts of the house, and besides, they all looked the same,
anyway. She found herself pausing for
just a minute, meeting his gaze. She
couldn’t help but notice he looked a little less into the scene than most of
the other partygoers did. He had a mane
of thick blond hair, much like half of the other people that their nights in
her house, but there was something about him that seemed just a little
different. The piercing blue eyes,
maybe.
Julie blinked and turned away, realizing that she and this strange
metalhead had been staring at each other for nearly half a minute. She glanced back up, just for a second, just
long enough to see him drop his gaze quickly and take a sip of the drink he was
holding. She shrugged off the weirdness
of the fact that one of these guys, with all of their flashiness and stage
presence, had just been unable to hold her gaze, and continued on her way to
the kitchen.
She found her father drinking glasses of champagne with some important
looking men in suits. That, Julie
decided, made him considerably more approachable than if he was talking to
those ratty-haired band people. She
went up and stood next to him, waiting for him to finish the conversation he
was having.
After a moment her, he noticed her and smiled. “Hey, Jule!
Mike, Scott, this is my daughter, Julianna.”
Julie shook the men’s hands. “Julie,” she corrected her father,
smiling. “Anyway, Daddy, Sam just left,
so I’m just going to serve some champagne, okay?”
“We have people to do that,
Jule,” her father admonished lightly.
§
Four hours later, the party was only
barely winding down – maybe 125 people instead of 200. Julie had been racing around serving drinks
and snacks for the entire night, pausing only to take a phone call from Sam,
who wanted to know if she’d met some person named Nikki Sixx. “Oh, they’re numbering them now?” Julie had
scoffed. “I’m sure I met him, and Nikkis
Seven and Eight, too.” Then she hung up.
The whole night had been nothing but
loud, smoky rudeness, and Julie’s entire body was beginning to ache. Also as the night had gone on and the
revelers had gotten progressively more drunk and blitzed on whatever else was
going around the place, they’d been making more and more slurring passes at
her. At the moment, she couldn’t think
of many horrors more unsettling than having scary musicians that reeked of
whiskey with cigarettes hanging out of their months telling her how “delicious”
she was. One of them had even said
something about cherry pie. Julie
shuddered just thinking about it.
Finally, her father came up behind her and took the now nearly empty
tray of champagne glasses out of her hands.
“You look beat,” he said. “I think I can wrap this up myself, if you
want to split.”
Julie wiped a strand of hair from
her face. “Are you sure?” she said,
keeping her sarcastic tone low enough so that only he could hear her. “I’m having such a good time.”
Her father laughed. “Sure, I’m sure. You worked hard enough tonight.”
She frowned at him. “Daddy, there’s still over a hundred people
here, and all I did was serve. Why are
you letting me off so easily?”
Her father motioned for her to
follow him into the study, which was a welcome change of pace from the bustling
party. He set the tray down on the
coffee table and shut the door.
“Actually, Jule, I was hoping you’d do me a favor.”
“If it involves any of these guys
and a hot tub, I’m going to have to say no.”
He smiled. “Scantily clad women and men with guitars is definitely a good
sales pitch, but that doesn’t mean I want my little girl involved.” He paused.
“No, seriously, Jule. You know
I’m leaving in the morning, for a little while.”
Julie nodded. “Yeah.
If this is some kind of ‘Don’t have wild parties’ schpiel, you’re
wasting your breath. I am the
antithesis of a party girl, thanks to you.”
“No, no, it’s not that. You also know no one else is going to be
here while I’m gone, either – we don’t need any cooking staff and such when
there aren’t any events going on.”
Julie nodded. “Well, a friend of
mine is going to be staying here, and I was just wondering if you could just
kind of… you know, look after him.”
“Well, sure, but, aren’t most of
your friends totally capable of – wait a minute. Wait a minute. By
‘friend’, please tell me you don’t mean one of those scary freaks that are
probably pissing in the swimming pool right now.”
“They’re not scary freaks, pumpkin,
they’re… musicians.” His daughter
glared at him. “Okay, fine, they’re
scary freaks. But sweetie, when you’re
in this business, you have to make some sacrifices.”
“And when you’re the daughter of
someone in this business, you have to baby-sit people who are willing to be
famous because of a band that calls itself Ratt.” Julie sighed. “Why does
he have to stay here?”
“To be honest, Jule, I’m not sure
what’s going on. He’s having some kind
of… I don’t know, personal problems, whatever that means. I don’t know why he can’t stay somewhere else. I just know that this will look very good
for me, so I said he could stay here.
Come on, Jule, help your old man out?”
Julie sighed. “It’s gonna cost you.”
Her father laughed. “You’re a good sport. I’d better get back out there, but listen, I
won’t be gone very long and I’m sure you’ll be fine here.” He paused before he opened the door. “Listen, Jule, these guys… you’re right,
they’re a little… loose. So, ah, you
know, don’t…”
She raised an eyebrow. “Is this the part where we talk about hot
tubs? Really, Dad, you have nothing to
worry about. I’d rather eat paint
chips.”
Her father nodded. “Yeah.
Well. Good, good. Love you, kiddo.” Thus saying, he walked out.
§
Julie stood for a long moment in
front of the mirror and contemplated her reflection, wondering if she really
was pretty, or if she was merely female, and that was the only standard the
kind of people she was forced to associate with had. She supposed she was at least moderately attractive, although she
didn’t know exactly what you had to look like to be referred to as “cherry
pie”. She guessed that her long, dark
red hair with its slight wave was a bit pretty, although perhaps rather plain,
and she admitted that her green eyes were perhaps more of a vibrant shade than
some eyes she’d seen. Sam was always
telling her that she had a complexion like cream and lips to die for, but Julie
wasn’t entirely sure what “like cream” entailed and couldn’t imagine wanting to
die for any sort of lips. She took a
few steps back and dropped the towel she was wearing to the floor to study her
body. She was thin enough, she guessed;
weight had never particularly mattered to her.
She was nearly 5’8”, so she carried her 125 pounds well, and the term
“dancer’s legs” had been tossed around a lot in her presence. But still, she didn’t see why all of her
father’s clients stared at her the way they did. Ogled was more like it.
She certainly wasn’t one of those bleached, augmented girls that sleazed
around with the musicians.
Shrugging at her reflection, Julie
grabbed a tee shirt and pulled it on, then put her hair up messily in a
clip. Finally, the house seemed to have
quieted down, and she guessed that anyone who hadn’t left was sitting around in
the living room trying to decide just how many times past the legal limit was
too drunk to drive home. She wondered
if she could sneak into the kitchen for a bottle of water without being
noticed, and decided that even if she was spotted, she wouldn’t look like much
through blurry, drunken eyes.
She went quickly and quietly down
the stairs, not making a sound, and went through the study to access the
kitchen through a barely used hallway that led to it, so as to avoid the living
room entirely. The kitchen was
mercilessly empty, and she opened the refrigerator door and just stared for a moment,
wondering where the bottles of water were.
“They got any water in there?”
Julie snapped to attention and drew
in her breath sharply, whirling to face whoever had just spoken to her. It was the guy from the living room
doorway. She found herself flushing hot
red, suddenly self-conscious of how little she was wearing. “What?” she said dumbly.
“Water,” he repeated. “Is there any water in there?” He paused.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh… you didn’t. Well, I mean, I didn’t realize anyone else
was in here.” She cleared her
throat. You sound like a halfwit,
she chided herself internally. “Anyway,
I was just looking for some water myself, but I have to warn you, it’s
non-alcoholic.” Just then she spotted a
few bottles of water and grabbed two, then closed the refrigerator door.
He came across the room and took one
of the bottles. “Thanks,” he said,
smiling a little. “And thanks for the
warning, but someone told me water had no alcohol content and I thought I’d
give it a try.”
Julie smiled. “Well, don’t let looks deceive you. It tastes nothing like Absolut.”
“That’s a relief.” He took a long
swallow from the bottle.
“Drinking dehydrates you,” Julie
noted, watching him drink.
“That it does,” he agreed. “However, so does singing, and I’m afraid a
long day in the studio contributed more to my sore throat than the three
pathetically weak screwdrivers I’ve had tonight.”
Surprising, that. “Oh, really, I’d just assumed that you’d
have kicked back a few bottles of 151 and would be having a vomit distance
contest off of the balcony with the rest of your friends by now.”
He laughed. “I’m glad to see we’re not stereotyped. Anyway, I’m Bret.” He extended a hand.
She tentatively shook it. “Julie.”
“Nice to meet you. You don’t seem like the typical metal
groupie chick,” he noted.
Julie couldn’t help but laugh. “I couldn’t name three metal songs if my
life depended on it.”
Bret looked confused. “Well, you don’t seem like the type who’s in
it just because we’re rich…”
“What do you mean by ‘in it’,
exactly?”
“You know, the whole groupie
scene. If you don’t mind my saying so,
you don’t quite look the part, either.”
“Yeah. You’ll have to excuse the lack of bleach and small breasts.”
Bret laughed. “That isn’t what I mean! I actually meant you’re better-looking than
they are.”
Julie didn’t speak for a
minute. Finally, she said, “Well,
thanks, I think.”
“You’re welcome. I was just trying to say that I hadn’t seen
you around before tonight.”
“Well, I don’t exactly go out of my
way to get noticed. I keep my shirt on
most of the time, even.” She looked at
him for a minute. “Although, I have to
say a lot of the other guys around here seem to have noticed me. Not in a pleasant way.”
“Well… I have to admit I try to pay
as little attention as possible at these things. Sorry about that.” He
took another long swallow of water.
“Don’t be.” She thought about the evening and all of the
weird passes that had been made at her.
“Really. Don’t be. Anyway, I should be more ashamed of the fact
that I don’t even know what band you’re in.
Isn’t every girl my age supposed to worship your guitar, or
something?”
“Ha. What age is a girl your age, anyway?”
“I’m eighteen, and kindly don’t tell
me I look younger, because I know.”
Bret smiled. She had to admit he had a nice smile. “I wouldn’t have said that. And it’s actually refreshing to talk to a
girl who doesn’t know who I am, believe me.”
“We’re a dying breed, it
seems.” A few moments passed between
the two of them, both silently sipping their water and looking
uncomfortable. “Well, Bret,” Julie
finally said, “As much as I’d like to stand here barefoot drinking water all
night, it’s been a long party and I want to go pretend to be dead for a few
hours.”
Bret straightened up, and looked
almost disappointed for a minute.
“Oh. Right. Yeah, it is kind of late, I guess.” He stalled for a minute. “It was really nice meeting you,
Julie.” He smiled that nice smile again
and swaggered out of the room.
“This does not mean we like
metalheads, Julianna,” Julie whispered to herself.
§
The clock read 1:04pm when Julie
finally managed to wake up enough to pull herself into a sitting position. She hadn’t meant to sleep so late, but when
the parties at her dad’s house ran well into the wee hours of the morning, it
was par for the course. She had hoped
to get a chance to say goodbye to her father, but he’d probably been gone for
at least four hours by now.
With a yawn, she crawled out of bed
and slowly forced herself to go through the motions of getting dressed, idly
wondering why she was bothering. She
chose a simple pink tanktop and black jeans, then put her hair in the same clip
she’d had it in last night before leaving the room. Upon entering the hallway, she heard the water in the shower
running, and suddenly remembered what her father had asked of her the night
before. “Shit,” she said to
herself. The bathroom door was
partially ajar and she glanced into the steamy room for a second before heading
to the stairs. Thank goodness the room
was steamy enough that she didn’t have to see anything she didn’t want to,
anyway.
Once downstairs, Julie mechanically
started a pot of coffee, guessing that coffee making was something you did when
you had overnight guests. She hoped
whoever was staying there didn’t expect to be cooked for, because Julie hardly
ever cooked for herself, much less anyone else. She wondered if these people were even capable of doing things
for themselves as complicated as making lunch, and chided herself for being so
catty all the time.
“Smells good,” came a voice from
behind her.
“It’ll be ready in a minute,” Julie
responded without turning around. She
lit a cigarette. As soon as she put her
lighter down, a hand reached over her shoulder and snatched it back up. She turned, ready to say something snide,
when she realized it was Bret standing behind her. He looked equally surprised to see her.
“Julie,” he said. He seemed about to say more, but didn’t.
“Hello, Bret. I guess you get points for remembering my
name.” She paused. “How do you like your coffee?”
“What? Oh, um, black.” He lit
his own cigarette.
“I should have figured that, I
guess.” She poured him a cup and handed
it to him. “So… since you obviously weren’t too drunk to drive yourself out of
here, I assume that means you’re the,” she bit back ‘metalhead’, “person who’s
staying here for a while?”
“Yeah, but… oh, shit, are you Ted
Kinsington’s daughter?”
“Guilty.” She considered saying something about the fact that she’d been
rummaging around in the fridge in the middle of the night wearing only a
tee-shirt being a good indication, but realized with disdain that she probably
wasn’t the only barely-dressed girl who’d been caught doing that very
thing. “And you’re…” She had no
idea. “You’re not Ted Kinsington’s
daughter.”
Bret laughed. “No, that I’m not.” He took a sip of coffee and winced.
Julie had to laugh. “Black, huh?”
“People don’t drink whiskey for the
flavor, either.” He took another quick
gulp. “It’s the only thing that wakes
me up in the morning.”
“I’m sure. Are you hungry?”
Bret raised an eyebrow. “And she cooks, too?”
“No. ‘She’ does not cook.
‘She’ was merely asking if you were hungry. Purely curiosity.” Julie
poured herself a glass of orange juice and took a long swallow.
Bret laughed. “Well, in that case, thank you for your
interest in the state of affairs of my digestive system, but no. I can’t eat in the morning.”
“Ah, maybe so, but this is not the
morning. This is mid-afternoon. Most people have been awake long enough for
two meals already,” Julie pointed out.
“You say that like you were awake
before I was.”
“Not the point. I was busy serving champagne to unruly
musicians all night, in an effort to make my father’s life just that much
easier.”
“And I was busy being one of
those unruly musicians.”
“Touché.” She finished her orange juice and put the glass in the sink. “So, what’s on your agenda today?”
“Well… let’s see. Polish my guitar, buy some more hairspray,
and fuck a couple of drunk sorority girls, most likely. Does that fit your stereotype?”
“Hey, now, play nice. I was.”
“Okay, okay. Umm… I don’t know, actually. Pretty much done at the studio for now. Maybe I’ll invite a little friend over and
we can paint each other’s toenails.”
Bret finished his coffee and put the mug in the sink next to Julie’s
glass.
“I promise I won’t tell your drunken
sorority girls. Anyway, I’m just going
to go back upstairs to my room and read a book or something. Think you can keep you and one of
your buddies under control without my help?”
“You really do have us pegged to be
a bunch of out-of-control maniacs, don’t you?”
“Well… are you in any of the
pictures of long-haired men getting champagne poured on their heads by blond
women that my father has hanging in the study?”
Bret looked at the floor. “Yeah, probably,” he said, sounding slightly
embarrassed. “Okay, fair enough. We won’t pour bottles of champagne on
anything.”
“Good. If you need me, guess which door I’m behind.”
§
Julie managed to stay confined in
her room for the entire day and part of the night reading and napping, until
she couldn’t stand either anymore. She
ignored the part of her brain that was wondering what Bret was doing and snuck
into the kitchen for some cold pizza.
As she stood at the counter eating, she realized that cold pizza was
rather comforting. When she’d lived
with her mother in Pasadena, there was always cold pizza in the fridge. Between her class schedule and her mother’s
hours with the force, they never had time to cook.
When she moved in with her father,
the concert promoter, everything changed.
She went from a nice but not ritzy apartment with her mother and a cat
to a sprawling house in Los Angeles.
The only thing that didn’t change was the abundance of cold pizza.
Julie finished her slice of pizza
and headed toward the living room, deciding she might as well see what was
going on. Purely to make sure they
hadn’t destroyed anything, of course.
Bret and some other guy were sitting
on the floor, their backs against the leather sofa. They’d moved the table out of the way and were sitting amidst two
ashtrays overflowing with cigarette butts and a couple of nearly empty vodka
bottles. “Transition to water not
working for you?” Julie asked, to make her presence known.
“Flavor’s not quite right,” Bret
retorted. At least he didn’t slur
much. “Julie, this is Sebastian. He’s another unruly musician from a band you
don’t listen to.”
The other guy struggled to open his
eyes, obviously more intoxicated than Bret.
He mumbled something that might have been a greeting and closed his eyes
again. Julie looked at Bret. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, sure. We stay alive on this stuff, as you know,”
he said, waving a bottle of vodka at her.
“Maybe he shouldn’t have any more
tonight,” Julie suggested.
Bret studied his friend. “Yeah, probably not.” He pulled himself to his feet. “Neither one of us should, really.”
“What the fuck are you on about,
Michaels?” Sebastian slurred from the carpet.
“You fucking pussy!”
Bret laughed uncomfortably. “Listen, we’re okay down here, if you want
to get back to your reading or whatever.”
“Giver a shot!”
Bret and Julie looked at Sebastian,
then at each other. Bret looked back
down at Sebastian. “Baz, I’m sure—“
“No, I’ll have one. Why not?”
Julie bent down and took the bottle from Bret, then took a large swig
from it. She barely winced.
“Impressive,” Bret said. “I didn’t think drinking was your thing.”
“It isn’t. That doesn’t mean I’m no good at it.”
Baz mumbled something about girls
and drinking that didn’t make any sense.
Julie took another sip out of the bottle. “I think that’s enough for now,” she said and handed it back to
Bret. She sat down on the floor next to
him and helped herself to a cigarette from his pack. “So, is this really what you guys do when you’re not… doing
whatever else you do?”
Bret laughed. “Well, since you put it that way, I guess
the answer’s yes. We do just sit
on living room floors and drink sometimes.
We’re not always surrounded by women and paparazzi and shit, thank god.”
“Thank god? You sound like you don’t like what you do.”
“Nah, I do. I mean, it’s cool. But you get sick of it sometimes. There’s no privacy in this business, nothing you do goes
undocumented. Christ, do you know how
long it’s been since I’ve actually been with a… yeah, well, you know. It’s just hard sometimes.” He took a long pull on his cigarette.
Julie decided it was best to not ask
him to finish the thought he’d started.
She flicked some ashes into the ashtray, which had already overflowed
onto the carpet. “I think I’ll go empty
these,” she said, picking it up and reaching over Sebastian for the other one.
“And she cleans, too,” Bret said,
chuckling. He took another swig from
the bottle of Absolut.
Julie chose to ignore the comment
and went into the kitchen to dump out the ashtrays. It was unbelievable how many cigarettes they’d smoked in just the
past few hours. She grabbed a couple of
bottles of water out of the fridge and turned to head back into the living room
when she heard a loud crash and Bret saying, “Aww, Jesus fuck!”
“Oh, that simply cannot be good,”
Julie said to herself, realizing she was just the tiniest bit woozy from the
alcohol. It had been a good year since
she’d chugged vodka out of the bottle.
Oh, well, she decided. She was
nowhere near drunk. Not even quite
tipsy. Yet.
Nothing could have quite prepared
her for the scene that unfolded when she arrived back in the living room,
although it actually wasn’t the first time she’d seen it happen in her
house. From what it looked like,
Sebastian had taken an incredibly graceless fall directly through the
table. The bottle of vodka he’d been
holding had shattered, mixing in with splintered wood. Bret was standing over him, wavering a bit,
still clutching his bottle and looking right and properly awed. He turned to Julie. “Um…”
Julie dropped the water bottles on
the carpet. “I suppose ‘Um’ is really
all there is to say.” She paused. “I should probably ease your mind a bit by
telling you this is in no way something I haven’t seen before. There’s probably a ‘drunk metalhead through
furniture’ clause in my father’s insurance policy by now.”
“Well… okay, but… hell.” Bret was swaying a bit more now.
“You okay there?” Julie asked,
eyeing him.
“Yeah. Sure.” He took a step
towards the couch and nearly fell.
“Well, maybe that vodka’s catching up with me a little bit.”
“Maybe you should lie down.” She took a few steps toward him.
“I can’t do that. I have to clean up Baz’s mess.” Bret put his hand out to steady himself, but
found nothing to rest it on.
Julie closed the gap between where
they were standing and put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. “Don’t worry about it. He would be comfortable sleeping on rocks
right now, and we aren’t very well going to glue the coffee table back
together.”
“Are you sure? Maybe I should just sit down for a
minute.” He let Julie help him onto the
couch. He was unconscious before he hit
the cushions.
“Well. Good thing he was on his way down already,” Julie said to no one
in particular. Just then, Sebastian
made some kind of unintelligible gurgling noise from the wreckage of what used
to be a perfectly nice table.
Unfortunately, Julie knew the noise well, and immediately went into
action.
“Come on, you. Let’s go,” she said, her voice strained as
she forced Sebastian to his feet. He
continued making noises that might have been attempts at speech while Julie
half-walked, half-dragged him to the bathroom.
When they got to the doorway and she attempted to let him do the rest on
his own, he just sort of stood there and wavered. “Fuck. I suppose you’re
going to need help, then,” she said, even though she knew there was no way he
had much of an idea of what was going on.
She held his hair and did her best
to neither listen to, look at, nor smell the penance he was paying for a
night of heavy drinking. After a while,
Sebastian stopped retching and rested his head on the toilet seat, breathing
heavily. Julie flushed the toilet and
supposed that this meant she had no plans for a while. Moving him might prove to be a horrible
mess, and she couldn’t very well leave him by himself in there to asphyxiate on
his own vomit. How would that go
over? Rock Star Dies In Promoter’s
Bathroom – Daughter Ignores Distress. She
decided leaving him for just a minute wouldn’t hurt, and quickly ran back to
the living room to steal Bret’s bottle of Absolut. She couldn’t imagine that he’d be needing it just now.
That was the thing about vodka. Or any hard liquor, really, Julie thought as
she periodically took sips from the bottle.
It tasted like ass. If you’re
going to drink it, you’ve only got one intent – to get pissed. Bret was right; these things weren’t for
flavor. Eight, or was it nine, shots
later, Sebastian came back into the world of the living. Or undead, anyway. “Um…” he began intelligently.
Julie hiccupped in a very unladylike
manner. “That’s what Bret said,
too. You must be close.”
Sebastian pulled himself unsteadily
to his feet and rinsed his mouth out with water from the sink. “Should I even ask what happened?” he said,
sitting back down against the bathroom wall.
“You wanna leave the bathroom
first?” Julie suggested, realizing she was slurring. Oops.
Sebastian patted his stomach. “Better not, yet,” he replied. “At least I made it in here.”
“If you consider me dragging you in
here like a scene from a bad movie, then yes, you made it. I can’t say the same for the table.” She took another swallow from the bottle,
even though somewhere her dulled common sense insisted she shouldn’t.
Sebastian winced. “Broke another one, eh?”
“Keeping a tally, are you?”
“Lost count a few years ago,
actually. Sorry about the table. I’ll pay for it.”
“I doubt that will be
necessary. My father is pretty tolerant
of these things.” The slurring appeared
to be getting worse.
“Have a few too many sips, little
one?”
“Ten. Twelve.” She wagged the
almost-empty bottle at him. “Bret… Bret
went to sleep and I just thought I’d… clean up for him.” The sober Julie would have smacked her.
Sebastian laughed. “How polite of you.” He paused and moved a little closer. “I can see why Bret told me about you. You’re a pretty girl.”
“So I’m told,” Julie retorted,
deciding not to try to question what he’d just said in her hazy state. “You’re a pretty boy.” The sober Julie would bitchsmack her.
“So I’m told,” Sebastian said,
softly. The next thing Julie knew, she
was tongue wrestling with a post-vomit, still-drunk rockstar. The kiss was long, and she realized that
although she wouldn’t have done this sober, it would probably still have been a
quite pleasant experience, surprisingly enough. She was just sober enough to pull away before things went any
further.
“Good girls don’t do that on the
first date,” she admonished lightly.
“So you’re a good girl?”
“No. I’m just drunk.” She
pulled herself unsteadily to her feet.
“And so are you. I think you’re
probably safe enough to go to sleep now, huh?”
She helped him up.
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at
her. “Most girls wouldn’t have stopped
there.”
“Most girls know what band you’re
in,” she replied. “You can sleep
wherever you want. There’s a bunch of
rooms upstairs, just don’t take the one with the open door and the light on.”
Sebastian still looked a bit
awed. “Thanks,” he managed. “And I’m really sorry about the—“
“The table. I know.
Are you going to be okay?” She
leaned against the doorframe to avoid a rush of dizziness.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You didn’t have to sit in here with me, you
know.”
“Of course not. All of you bad boys live on hard liquor and
drugs and that one bottle of Absolut and the fall through the table was
nothing. I know. You can keep your pride and go to bed, I
just didn’t want you to puke on the carpet.
Smells bad.” Julie pushed
herself back into a fully upright position and staggered out of the bathroom.
On her way back into the living room
to check on Bret, something she realized she was really in very little position
to be doing, Julie finished off the last swallow of vodka in the bottle. Probably not the wisest of ideas, but who leaves
one swallow left in a bottle of vodka?
She dropped the empty container on the carpet and it landed with a dull
thud. The blurry drunken vision was
starting to set in, and Julie tried to ignore it. A sober person would start picking up the smaller pieces of the
broken table, she reasoned. Of course,
a sober person would also tell a drunk person not to, but a drunk person
wouldn’t know any better. She began picking up the smaller shards of wood,
which worked wonderfully for approximately forty-five seconds before a wave of
dizziness washed over her and she fell gracelessly to the floor, slicing her
forearm quite satisfactorily on a piece of wood. “Ow, FUCK!” she cried out, wincing and grabbing her arm.
Bret shot awake, and looked around,
confused, for a minute. Finally his
eyes landed on her. “Julie? What happened?”
Even from underneath a dozen or so
shots of vodka, Julie felt like a total moron.
Best to tell these things like they are, though. “Had a bit much t’drink,” she slurred. “I seem to have cut myself.” She displayed the bleeding gash in a manner
that almost seemed proud.
Bret rose to his feet and came over
to crouch beside her. He took her arm
in his hand and studied it. “I think
you’ll live,” he said, pulling her to her feet. “Come on, let’s go wash this out.”
Julie allowed herself to be led into
the kitchen. Even under the alcohol
haze, she was aware that this was really quite embarrassing, and would be even
more embarrassing the next day, and probably compounded by a hangover. Bret ran cold water and soaked a towel,
which he pressed against the gash on Julie’s arm.
“Why are you doing this?” Julie
asked drunkenly.
“Because you’re bleeding,” he
answered. “When you have a cut, you’re
supposed to wash it out. Or something.”
“No, I mean, why are you helping
me?”
Bret shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know. Just seemed like the thing to do. Here, hold this on there.”
Julie pressed the towel against the cut. It would hurt more if she was sober, but it wouldn’t have
happened if she were. Everything was a
catch-22. “What happened to Baz?”
Julie immediately flashed back to
the alcoholic kiss and tried not to blush.
“Held his hair for him and sent him to bed.”
“You held Baz’s hair?”
“Yeah… so?”
“I don’t think anyone has
ever held Baz’s hair while he puked, that’s all,” Bret said, smiling a little.
“Well, it just seemed like the thing
to do,” Julie retorted. “Anyway, if I
didn’t carry him to the bathroom, that mess in the living room would have been
considerably less fun to clean up.”
Bret laughed. “I’m really sorry I missed this.”
“If you had been around for it, I
wouldn’t have been the one carrying him to the bathroom,” Julie pointed
out. The room was definitely starting
to spin.
“Yeah. Shit, sorry about that, Julie.”
“Believe me, he’s not the first one
of you guys I’ve had to save the carpet from.
Huh. The room is moving rather
quickly,” Julie noted. She felt herself
begin slipping and felt Bret’s arm around her waist.
“Think you can walk with my help?”
he asked.
“Oh, sure,” she said, and that was
the last thing she remembered.
§
The pounding headache brought Julie
into consciousness before she was mentally ready for it. She was lying on her stomach with her head
under a pillow, and for a few long moments she stayed that way, slowly piecing
together the events of last night. She
realized two things eventually; that she had made a complete fool of herself,
and that this was not her bed. She opened
one eye and saw black sheets, which confirmed the suspicion that she was indeed
facedown on her father’s bed. Oh, dear.
Painfully, Julie pulled herself into
an upright position, and realized that not only was she in her father’s bed,
but she was in her father’s bed with someone else. Bret, to be precise. Oh,
Christ. As if he knew he was being
stared at, his eyes fluttered a few times before opening and settling on
Julie. Well, so much for making a
sneaky escape. “Morning, sunshine,” he
said groggily.
“Mmm… did we…?”
“Oh, you bet,” Bret said, smiling
and sitting up. “Six or seven
times. You are wild when you’re
drunk.”
“Oh, Christ,” Julie said,
closing her eyes.
“Relax. I’m kidding. Nothing
happened. I didn’t know what room was
yours, and I didn’t know how okay you were, so I just brought you in here with
me.” Seeing that she looked
unconvinced, he added, “Look, you’re still wearing your clothes. You think I’d bother dressing you again if
we’d really…” He trailed off.
Julie felt only minimally
relieved. Actually, she felt quite
relieved, but her hangover was a nagging reminder of last night’s events,
which, with or without boning a total stranger who just happened to be famous,
was humiliating enough. At least she
remembered most of it, she thought.
“Well, that’s a relief,” she said finally. “Well, I mean… you know.”
“Yeah. How you feeling?”
Julie looked at him. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red, and
he was barely managing to keep himself propped up on one arm. “About as good as you look,” she responded. “I don’t normally get hangovers.”
“You do if you drink with us,” Bret
corrected. “Although, I guess you
didn’t really drink with us.”
“Nope. That half of a bottle of Absolut I consumed was just who I was
hanging out with while you two slept like babies in uncomfortable
positions. I think Baz was talking to
me for about two shots.”
“Oh, yeah? Anything interesting?”
Julie bit the inside of her
mouth. “Ah… not really. I asked if he wanted to leave the bathroom
but he thought better of it since he still felt sick. Then I told him he could keep his pride, and the secret that a
girl had carried him to the bathroom would be taken with me to my grave.” She smiled a little. “I think at some point he tried to apologize
for the table.”
“Yeah… about that, Julie, I—“
“Yeah, I know. You’re sorry, and you’ll pay for it, neither
of which will be necessary. You’d be
amazed how many tables that room has seen.
It’s really not a big deal.”
Julie’s headache was getting worse and she met Bret’s gaze. “Advil?” she offered.
“Yeah. About ten of them,” Bret agreed.
“I’ll go with you.”
Julie agonizingly pulled herself
into a standing position, followed by Bret.
She had to force herself to turn away from the image of him wearing
nothing but a pair of cut-up jeans. She
couldn’t possibly find him attractive, she decided, and led the way out of the
room.
§
A long, hot shower proved to be
immensely helpful in relieving the better part of Julie’s hangover. After she and Bret had raided the house for
over-the-counter painkillers, she realized that she couldn’t get away from him
quickly enough, at least for a little while.
She knew that whatever she’d said or done last night couldn’t have held
a candle to some of the things those guys had seen, but it wasn’t like her to
get drunk and act like an imbecile.
Besides, she must have looked a sight, hungover and still wearing
yesterday’s clothes.
After getting out of the shower,
Julie dressed slowly in front of her full-length mirror. A version of herself that wasn’t quite so
dulled from a night of drinking might have pointed out that she took more care
than usual in making her choice of what to wear; a rather small crimson tank
top and a pair of black jeans that were probably the most form-fitting pants
she owned. That version of herself
would definitely point out that she almost never wore makeup at
home, and absolutely never wore perfume.
However, the Julie that performed these tasks was dulled by her
recent run-in with a bottle of vodka, and managed to convince her that she was
merely trying to make herself feel better by making herself look better. The throbbing in her head had faded to a
dull ache, and the raspy dryness of her throat was now something that a few
glasses of water would likely fix. The
only thing seriously wounded was her pride, and now that she was clean and felt
less like shooting herself in the skull, even that was only slightly
bruised. She just wasn’t exactly sure
what to do next.
After brushing her hair and deciding
to just leave it down, Julie realized she couldn’t very well stay in her
bedroom all day without making herself look even more ridiculous. She glanced at the clock, and saw that it
was already nearly 4:00 in the afternoon.
She didn’t even want to think about how long she’d slept in her clothes,
facedown on her father’s bed, with Bret.
And what of Bret? She supposed
she should at least see what he was up to.
He’d gone to take a shower at the same time she had, and she guessed he
would probably already be roaming around the house by now since she’d purposely
taken as long as she could putting herself back together.
Just as she was about to leave her
room, the realization dawned on Julie that for whatever reason, she was
genuinely interested in making her father’s guest feel welcome. It mattered to her in some small, weird way
that Bret be shown hospitality and that he be, in a sense, taken care of. This epiphany caught her completely
off-guard. Since when did the lives of
any of these people even remotely interest her? She pushed the thought out of her mind and headed downstairs.
Bret was standing in the living
room, surveying the damage from the previous night’s festivities. The room still smelled slighty of vodka, and
there was splintered wood and broken glass strewn about. He addressed Julie without turning. “You know, I’m not going to apologize again,
but… damn.”
“I suppose for three people, two of
which were unconscious for most of the evening, it ranks pretty high on the
destruction scale,” Julie agreed.
“Feeling better?”
Bret turned. Although she tried to ignore it, Julie
couldn’t help but notice the way he was looking at her. His eyes traced her entire body from the top
to the bottom and back again like he was looking at something he’d never quite
seen before. He cleared his
throat. “Much,” he said after a
minute. “You?”
Julie tried to keep herself from
looking at him in the same way. He was
still only wearing a pair of ragged jeans, shirtless, his long blond hair
spilling around his face. For the
second time, she took note of those deep blue eyes of his. “Yeah,” she responded, pushing these utterly
foreign thoughts to the back of her mind.
“It’s amazing what some Advil and a shower can do for a hangover. Did I mention that I never get
hangovers?”
“Do you often drink half a bottle of
Absolut in a short period of time and then slice your arm open on a broken
table?” Bret countered. Without waiting
for a response, he continued. “How is
your arm, by the way?” He pulled a pack
of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one.
Julie rubbed at her arm
unconsciously. “It’s fine. I mean, it hurts a little, but I suppose
that’s to be expected.”
Bret crossed the room in quick
strides and took Julie’s arm in his hand to examine the wound. He ran his finger along the length of it and
Julie shivered. “I think you’ll be
okay,” he said, his voice a bit softer than usual.
A long, pregnant moment passed
between them. Julie compared the way
they were looking at each other to one of those overly dramatic pre-kiss scenes
in a movie, and the reality of the situation might very well have been
that. Nervous, she pulled her arm
away. “Where’s… Sebastian?” she asked
to break the silence, not quite being able to recall what Bret had been calling
him all night.
Bret looked at the floor and then
quickly back up again. “Baz?” Ah, so that was it. Baz.
“I guess he took off. I haven’t
seen him.” He was quiet for a
minute. “Speaking of taking off, I
probably should myself.”
Julie snapped out of the daze the
last few minutes had put her in. “What? I mean, I thought
you were staying here for a while.”
“I am. I just have some shit to do today. You know.” He seemed
genuinely uncomfortable.
Julie reminded herself that whatever
Bret had to do today was not only none of her business, but that she wasn’t
supposed to care, either. “Yeah, sure,”
she said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Will you be back tonight, or should I just lock the place up?”
“Oh, no, I’ll be back,” Bret assured
her quickly. “I’ll only be gone a few
hours.”
“Okay,” Julie responded. “You have the number here, in case…” In
case what, dipshit? she asked herself.
Bret smiled. “Yeah, sure. I’ve got the number.” He
turned and started walking toward the door.
“Have fun,” Julie told him. Are
you going to pack his lunch, too? a voice in her head scoffed.
He turned around. “You, too,” and with a wink, he left.
§
Julie decided after some
deliberation that it wasn’t her responsibility to clean up the remnants of the
table. If that was the only thing that
went wrong in her father’s absence, he should consider himself pretty
lucky. She could remember picture
windows being shattered, hot tub jets being destroyed, and the swimming pool
having to be totally drained on several occasions. One broken table, more or less, didn’t really make that much of a
difference. She did, however, clean up
as much of the broken glass as was possible, figuring that glass was more
likely to do bodily harm than wood – even though the cut on her arm countered
that point.
Once that chore was done, Julie
found herself with nothing to do. She
stood in the living room, zoning out over the wreckage of the table. She considered inviting Sam over, but
decided against it. She didn’t even
want to imagine what Sam would do if Bret came back while she was there;
Sam almost definitely knew exactly what band he was from, and would at the very
least make a total ass out of herself and Julie if she were to meet him. For a moment, she found herself wishing Bret
would come back soon, but silently scolded herself for it. She couldn’t possibly actually want
some strange guy taking up space in her house.
“Where’s Bret?” came a voice from
behind her.
Julie nearly jumped out of her skin,
and whirled around to see who was speaking to her. “Sebastian? I thought you
left!” She realized her voice was
high-pitched and sounded scared and forced herself to calm down a bit. “I mean, Bret said you’d left.”
Sebastian looked disheveled, and it
was obvious he’d just crawled out of bed.
“I don’t know why he said that,” he replied, yawning. “I’ve been asleep since… when did I fall
asleep?”
Julie calmed down some more,
although the idea of being alone with yet another one of her father’s clients
made her a little nervous. “Well, let’s
see… you slept in the bathroom for about an hour, and then dragged yourself
upstairs around 3 in the morning.” She
hoped he didn’t remember the night.
Her prayers were answered. “Huh,” he said. “I don’t really remember much.”
He eyeballed the table. “I
assume I had something to do with that, though,” he said, pointing.
“I’d expect your back to hurt,”
Julie responded.
Sebastian was quiet for a
minute. “I think I remember you telling
me not to worry about paying for the table…”
Julie nodded. “Yes.
You and Bret have both apologized quite enough about the table. In fact, I never want to talk about what
used to be that table ever again.”
Sebastian smiled a little. “Fair enough. I’d just as soon forget about it myself. Do you have any Tylenol?”
“There’s Advil on the kitchen
table. You aren’t the only one who woke
up with a hangover.” She led the way
into the kitchen. “There are bottles of
water in the fridge.”
Sebastian helped himself to a bottle
of water and a handful of Advil. “Where’s Bret?” he asked a second time.
“You know, I told him to leave a
phone number in case I needed him to pick up some milk, but you rock stars are
really quite inconsiderate.”
Sebastian grinned and Julie continued.
“I have no idea where he went, actually, but he said he’d be back later
tonight.”
“Well, unless something else that I
don’t remember happened last night,” Sebastian began and Julie shivered, “he’s
got my car keys and my wallet.”
Oh, spectacular, Julie
thought. “He didn’t mention anything to
me, but I haven’t seen anything laying around.”
“Fabulous. Well, if it’s not too much of an inconvenience…”
“It’s fine. The more, the merrier, right?” Julie barely managed to keep the sarcasm out
of her voice. “I assume you won’t be
wanting breakfast.”
Sebastian put a hand on his
stomach. “No, definitely not.”
“Guess you don’t mind that I
finished the Absolut, either,” Julie said, smiling a little.
Sebastian smiled back. “By midnight, I’ll be ready for more, but
no, right now, I really have no problem with that.” He paused. “Wait… you
were getting drunk in the bathroom last night, weren’t you?”
Julie bit the inside of her
cheek. “Yeah… probably not my most
intelligent move,” she replied, hoping he wouldn’t press the issue.
“I think I remember that.” He was quiet for a moment longer and then
said, “Yeah, I think I remember that pretty well, actually.” He winked.
Julie’s face flushed hot red and she
looked away. “Listen,” she said, unsure
of what exactly to say. “I’m not… I
mean, I don’t—“
“Good girls don’t do that on the
first date,” Sebastian interrupted.
Fabulous. He remembered everything now.
Julie floundered for a response and came up blank. “I don’t really have a response to that,” she
said finally, feeling childish.
“Good,” Sebastian replied
immediately. “I didn’t really have a
response when you wouldn’t let me do anything besides kiss you last night,
either.”
Julie rarely had a problem coming up
with a biting retort, and even more rarely felt totally out of control in a
conversation, but this was definitely one of those rare occasions. Sebastian made her nervous and his brazen
attitude made her ears perk up in a way she didn’t quite recognize. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she said
feebly.
“Kissed you? Why not?”
Julie knew she didn’t have a response for that, either, and so did
Sebastian. He took a step toward her
and she took a step back. “You’re
afraid of me.”
“No, I’m not.” And she wasn’t – not of him, but of how she
was responding to him.
“I make you nervous.” He took another step closer and this time
Julie didn’t back away.
She wanted to say something witty,
or at the very least something defensive, but what came out was a barely
audible, “Yes.” By this point,
Sebastian was only inches away from her.
He smelled like smoke and boy.
Julie could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest and wondered if
he could, too. The thought that wild
dogs could smell fear popped, unbidden, into her head.
Sebastian’s intentions were
obvious. He ran his hand along her upper
arm, brought his head down so that their foreheads grazed one another. His movements were graceful – almost
catlike, Julie thought, and it surprised her.
After years of watching these people in action at her father’s parties,
she had figured there wasn’t a graceful bone in a single one of their
bodies. She snapped out of her mental
tangent and back into the reality at hand.
She knew that the thing to do would be to pull away immediately, say
something firm and, if necessary, unkind, and retreat to her room as quickly as
possible. The afterthought, and wait
for Bret to come back, sprang into her mind and she ignored it. She didn’t feel threatened by the situation
in the sense that she thought Sebastian would use anything other than mental
force to convince her to go along with what he was obviously trying to do, and
yet something inside of her wouldn’t let her pull back. She found herself completely terrified, and
yet some small part of her was enjoying the scene that was unfolding, no matter
how she tried to ignore it.
Their foreheads met and for a
moment, Sebastian closed his eyes and they both stood totally still and
silent. Julie found herself reaching a
hand up to touch his hair, as though she was being controlled by some outside
force. His long, golden hair was softer
than she’d expected it to be, and she felt as though she was reaching out to
pet a beautiful, exotic animal.
Underneath the lingering smell of stale cigarette smoke, Sebastian’s
hair smelled like shampoo and another, more intoxicating scent, that Julie
couldn’t quite identify. There was an
almost tangible magnetism between them now, an electricity that she tried with
all of her power to fight. Her mind was
racing, trying to find an escape or at the very least an explanation, but to no
avail. She realized she’d wrapped his
hair around her hand and was holding it tightly. “I thought good girls didn’t do this,” Sebastian said, his voice
low and raspy.
Julie shuddered. “We don’t,” she said softly. Their faces met, and the kiss was more
calculated, less desperate than the drunken one they’d shared the night
before. She noticed that his mouth
tasted strangely sweet as their tongues intertwined. His grip on her upper arm tightened and Julie felt herself
slipping, falling rapidly into something that could only end badly.
Sebastian’s other hand slowly crept
to her waist, sneaking its way up under her tank top and gently squeezing her
skin. She matched his move, blindly
following his lead for lack of the ability to think of anything else to
do. As their kissing continued, Julie
dug her nails slightly into the flesh of Sebastian’s back, and was rewarded
with a muffled growl. Again, she
thought of cats, and her head spun at the sound. Sebastian began to ease her shirt up slowly.
There was a banging noise somewhere
in the distance and Julie started. When
she realized it was the front door slamming shut, it broke her out of her
trance and she pulled back from Sebastian.
He released his grip on her and made a low throaty noise, frustration,
almost despair, his eyes closed. Both
of their faces were flushed, and Julie scrambled to put herself back
together. Sebastian ran a hand through
his mane of hair and took a step backwards.
Bret came into the kitchen
then. He paused, just for a minute, and
appeared to assess the scene before him.
Sebastian was now reaching for his bottle of water, drinking deeply from
it. Julie stepped around him hurriedly. “Hey,” she said, trying to keep her voice
steady.
Bret frowned just for a second
before his features settled back into a blank expression. “Hey,” he responded. “Didn’t know you were still here, Baz.”
“Well, you do have my car
keys,” Baz said. Julie was relieved
that he sounded completely natural, and then realized that he had no reason not
to. None of what had just happened was
new to him.
“They’re on the…” Bret paused and
smiled a little. “Well, I guess they’re
somewhere in the table.”
Baz laughed. “I guess I should have thought to look
there.”
“Actually, I probably should have,”
Julie interjected. “Shall I order
dinner in tonight, gentlemen?” She was
glad to find that her normal self was returning.
Bret started to nod, but Sebastian
cut him off. “You two go ahead,” he
said. “Now that I have my keys back, I
think I’m gonna split.”
Julie wondered if she should ask him
to stay, not sure if that would look more or less natural than just keeping
quiet. Bret spoke before she made her
choice. “You sure, dude? You’re perfectly… well, I mean, if it’s okay
with Julie…”
Julie cleared her throat. “Oh.
Sure, yeah, it’s fine.”
Sebastian shook his head. “Thanks, but I think I’d like to get out of
last night’s clothes and all that shit.”
He fixed his gaze on Julie, a look that to the unsuspecting eye seemed
totally harmless. “Maybe I’ll come back
around later.” He looked back to
Bret. “If that’s okay.”
Bret and Julie said, “Sure,”
simultaneously. Julie thought about
saying she’d show him out, but decided it might be weird. “The door will be open until we go to
bed.” Oh, that hadn’t come out
right. “I mean, whichever one of us
goes to bed last will…” She stopped talking.
Sebastian chuckled. “See ya,” he said, and walked out.
§
Two hours later found Julie and Bret
sitting side by side in her father’s bed, eating take-out Chinese food and idly
watching a TV movie. They had smoked a
few bowls out of her father’s stash, and were quite pleasantly high. It was a weird situation, to be sure, the
two of them acting like old girlfriends, but at least it put the notion out of
Julie’s mind that Bret might have thought anything was up when he’d gotten back
to the house. She wasn’t exactly sure
why it mattered to her so much if he had found out, and decided it was
probably because she didn’t even want to acknowledge it herself, much less have
anyone else know about it. Besides, the
last thing she needed was the two of them laughing it up with all of their
little buddies, talking about how Sebastian was about to score with Jack
Kinsington’s daughter. And anyway, it
was kind of nice to have someone to hang out with who didn’t constantly gush
about how cool it was that there were always rock stars in the house, even if
the ‘someone’ it turned out to be was a little ironic.
“So, what did you and Baz do while I
was gone?” Bret asked suddenly, over a forkful of lo mein.
Julie nearly choked, but managed to
maintain a normal appearance. “We
didn’t really do anything,” she lied.
“He came downstairs and scared the shit out of me because I thought he’d
left, then we very briefly discussed the state of affairs in the living room
and I gave him some Advil.”
“Ah,” Bret said. “You two just looked like you’d been talking
about something when I got back.”
“Not really,” she said. “We did talk a little bit about the fact
that he couldn’t leave without his keys, but I guess it turned out they were
here all along.”
Bret nodded. “Was he ridiculously hungover?”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t really have a basis of comparison,
but I think we actually looked worse when we got up then he did. Of course, he slept a few hours longer than
we did.”
“Baz is a bit of a machine when it
comes to this stuff.”
“I’d be more inclined to believe
that had I not had to carry him to the bathroom last night, but whatever you
say, boss.”
“Boss?” Bret laughed.
“Maybe you’d prefer something more
like captain?” Julie said, grinning.
“I was thinking more along the lines
of ‘master’, actually,” Bret retorted.
He reached over and tousled her hair.
Julie poked him lightly in the arm
with her fork. “Hardly!”
“Ow!” Bret said, laughing, obviously
not actually hurt. “You know you aren’t
going to get away with that, right?”
Julie laughed at him. “Oh, no?
What are you going to do?”
In one fluid motion, Bret had her
pinned to the bed by her shoulders.
Julie made a surprised noise, still laughing, and tried to wriggle free,
but his grip was strong. “Let me go!”
she said, squirming around. She
realized somewhere in the back of her head that the pot had affected her more
than she’d thought, probably because she hadn’t smoked pot in ages. “Come on, Bret, let me GO!”
Bret was laughing like a fool and
pushed her down harder. “Not until you
call me master!”
Julie continued struggling and said,
“You’re lucky I’m high! That’s the only
reason I can’t get away.” It was
probably bullshit.
“Oh, I’m sure, little girl,” Bret
said sarcastically. She tried to kick
her way out from underneath him, but he just climbed on top of her and sat on
her legs, removing any chance of escape Julie might have had. She squirmed around furiously but to no
avail. If it wasn’t for the pot, she’d
have felt like a total moron. Finally,
she gave up trying to get away and just lay still, breathing heavily from the
effort.
“Well,” Bret said, “now that I’ve
got you like this, what am I going to do with you?”
Julie looked up at him,
breathless. His platinum blond hair
hung down, nearly touching her face, and yet again she was looking into his
blue eyes. She realized she might very
well have landed herself in a similar situation to the one she’d been in a few
hours earlier. This time she felt a bit
less nervous; whether that was because the situation hadn’t escalated yet, or
because she had already dealt with certain circumstances once tonight. She refused to believe that it might be due
to the fact that it was Bret instead of Sebastian. She wondered if what Bret had said had been rhetorical or if he
wanted her to answer. Not that it
mattered – she didn’t have any idea what to say in response. She realized they were still staring at each
other.
As it turned out, this time Julie
didn’t have much time to frantically wrack her brain for something to say. Bret leaned down closer to her and as he
did, Julie closed her eyes. She wasn’t
sure if she was doing it because she wanted to get away, or if because she
wanted to succumb to whatever was about to happen. She felt Bret’s lips on her chest, just above the top of her
shirt, and it gave her goosebumps. This
time she didn’t try to rationalize to herself what was happening.
Bret’s kisses were moving steadily
lower, from the center of her chest, to the middle of her stomach, to just
above her navel. He had loosened his
grip on her, and Julie reached her hand up to touch someone’s hair for the
second time that night. Bret’s hair was
different than Sebastian’s, thicker, but just as soft, and he smelled earthy,
like an oil she didn’t recognize. She
felt his tongue graze her stomach and something inside of her broke, and she
resolved to yield to the scene that was playing out and let herself be
controlled by something other than her unrestful mind. Bret’s hands were undoing the button on her
jeans and Julie sucked in her breath, eyes still closed, just waiting. An excited, almost sickening tension started
in her chest and spread throughout her entire body. Some part of her found it strangely arousing that they hadn’t
kissed.
“Bret!”
Julie’s eyes snapped open and Bret
flew upright at the sound of Sebastian’s voice from the stairs. Bret muttered something that might have been
“fuck” and climbed off of her, grabbing a container of fried rice and taking a
bite.
Julie just lay there for a second,
trying to calm herself down, before re-buttoning her jeans and sitting up next
to Bret. She was turning up the volume
on the TV when Sebastian walked in.
He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
Julie said a silent prayer that Bret
wouldn’t say something inappropriate, then quickly realized she actually didn’t
want him to say something appropriate to the situation.
“Of course you are, asshole,” Bret
answered. Julie closed her eyes and
braced herself. “Can’t you see we’re
watching… Julie, what the fuck is this?”
Julie exhaled and forced herself to
smile. “If you want the title, you’re
shit out of luck, but it appears these two have escaped from a mental hospital
and they seem to have a gun,” she offered.
Sebastian fully entered the room and
took a seat at the edge of the bed.
“And to think I missed the beginning.”
He lit a cigarette and focused his attention on Bret. “Let’s head over to Ataxia.”
Julie interrupted. “There’s a place called Ataxia?”
Bret laughed. “Yeah, it’s a club,” he explained. “A lot of us hang out there.”
“Is this one of those A-list kind of
establishments?”
“Do we look like we’d be allowed in
A-list establishments?” Sebastian asked, laughing.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it
‘A-list’,” Bret agreed, “but you do have to be on the guest list if you want to
get in.” He looked at Sebastian. “Anyway, I don’t know, Baz, we were kind
of—“
Julie cut him off. “We were watching bad TV and eating
take-out, Bret. You guys go ahead.”
Sebastian’s brown eyes turned to
Julie and he gave her a secret wink.
“Why don’t you come with us?”
“I thought it was guest-list only,”
Julie offered feebly.
“Being in this business does have some
perks,” Bret responded quickly. “I’m
sure if we ask real nice they’ll let us bring a friend.”
“I don’t know. Clubs really aren’t my thing.”
Sebastian flicked the side of one of
the containers of food. “And take-out
in Ted Kinsington’s bedroom isn’t really Bret’s thing.” He paused.
“Well, maybe it could be, but that’s not the point. It’ll be fun, come on.”
“You don’t want to be cooped up by
yourself all night,” Bret put in.
“Actually, I like being
‘cooped up by myself all night’,” Julie said.
She knew they weren’t going to give in.
“Okay, fine, I’ll go, but if I hate it you have to bring me home,
okay?”
Bret and Sebastian exchanged a
glance and said, “Fine,” at the same time.
§
Ataxia turned out to be aptly named,
Julie thought after they’d been there for a while. The whole place was filled with people doing something that they
apparently considered dancing. She
hoped they were all high as kites, because the idea of a sober person behaving
in such a manner was unsettling at best.
She watched the people idly from a stool at the bar, where Bret and
Sebastian had left her for the time being while they wandered off in two
different directions to do whatever it is rock stars did at clubs. Before they’d walked away, Bret told the guy
behind the bar to put anything Julie wanted on his tab, which made Julie
giggle. “Hey, I’ve only heard that on
TV!” she explained when he favored her with a questioning look.
As she sat and waited for the guys
to return, Julie debated whether or not she was going to tell Sam about any of
this. Probably not, she decided. This would have to be one of those stories
that never got further than her diary.
She sipped on a strawberry daiquiri that was stronger than she
remembered them ever being, following a similar pina colada and an electric
lemonade, and did her best to go unnoticed until she spotted Bret coming
towards her through the throng of people.
He leaned over Julie and ordered a
Jack and coke, then sat next to her.
This section of the club was just far enough away from the dancefloor to
allow them to converse at tones only slightly louder than normal. “Having fun?” Bret asked.
“Well, I don’t dance,” Julie
responded, “but the drinks are strong.”
Bret smiled. “I should have warned you that even the
girly drinks are powerful here.”
“It’s okay, I’m not drunk.” She paused.
“If I have another one, I’ll be drunk, so please don’t let me have
another one.”
“Fair enough. Wouldn’t want to have to carry you out of
here.” Julie debated on a witty retort
and kept quiet. After all, he had
actually had to carry her drunk self two nights ago. “Listen,” he continued, “I’ll be right back. Drinks are catching up to me.” He slunk off back into the crowd.
“Hey, babe.” Julie looked up at the person who’d spoken,
a stocky guy with short-cropped black hair.
He put his hand on her arm.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this all by
herself?”
Julie blinked. “Um… actually, I’m here with some friends,”
she said weakly. As soon as she said
it, she realized it sounded like bullshit.
Apparently, the guy talking to her
thought so, too. “A nice girl like you
shouldn’t be here all alone.” He
smelled like beer and lecherous pervert.
“Something could happen to you.”
Julie doubted this guy would even
know what irony meant, much less be able to see it in what he’d just said. “I’m fine, really,” she told him and tried
to pull her arm away, but he held her tightly.
“Why don’t we go somewhere a little
quieter and get to know each other?” He
tried to pull her to her feet, but she held onto the edge of the bar with her
free hand.
“Look, I told you, I’m here with
some friends,” Julie said again, a little more firmly.
“I’m sure your little girlfriends
can find their way home without you, sugar.”
He tugged on her again.
“You know what, I don’t think they
can,” came Bret’s voice. Julie looked
up at him with a pleading expression.
The guy let go of Julie’s arm and focused
his attention on Bret. “I’m talking to
the lady here,” he said, an edge to his voice.
“I don’t think you are anymore,”
Bret countered, his voice tight and angry.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me
what to do?”
“I’m the lady’s date,” Bret
said. “And she obviously doesn’t want
to talk to you, so I suggest you leave.”
A smile played around the man’s
lips. “You’re not her date, she’s here
with some friends. So why don’t you
fuck off?”
“I am one of those friends,”
Bret said evenly.
“Oh, so she’s one of those girls,
is she?”
Julie noticed that Bret’s right hand
was curled into a fist so tightly that his knuckles were white. “What kind of girls would ‘those’ be?” he
asked through his teeth.
“The loose little whores who hang
out with you band freaks,” the guy answered, laughing. “All the more reason she shouldn’t have a
problem spending the night with me.”
“Did you just call her a
whore?” Before the man had a chance to
answer, Bret punched him square in the face and the guy stumbled backwards. “That was not your smartest move,
buddy.” Bret motioned for one of the
bouncers to come over. “Get this
asshole out of here.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Michaels,” the
bouncer said, and dragged the guy off, ignoring his protests.
Bret sat down next to Julie, still angry, and rubbed at his
knuckles for a second, then ordered another drink. He took a long swallow and then said, “Fucking prick,” not
looking at her.
“That was pretty impressive,” Julie
said. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did. He can’t talk to you like that.” There was something in his voice that Julie
couldn’t quite put her finger on.
“Isn’t that kind of thing going to
get you bad publicity?” Bret looked at
her questioningly. “I mean, you know…
‘Band Frontman In Bar Brawl’ or some such nonsense?”
Bret seemed to relax a little. “In this place? Hardly. I’d have to fuck
him in the ass and then shoot him in the face in order for the press to
care.” He paused. “I think that might have come out wrong.”
Julie giggled, feeling a little
silly from the alcohol. “Well, anyway,
thank you. That was pretty cool. I’ve never been saved from a bar sleaze
before.”
Bret shrugged off her thanks. “He was a dick.” He finished his drink.
“You want to get out of here?”
Julie shrugged. “Sure, whatever. Where’s Sebastian, though?”
“Good question. However, Sebastian is a big boy and can
probably manage by himself. Anyway, I’m
sure it’s your house he’ll turn up at around 5 in the morning,
drunk. Sorry about that.”
“I’m kind of getting used to it,”
Julie replied. “You sure it’s cool for
us to just skip out on him?” Julie,
she said to herself, why do you care?
“We probably couldn’t find him if we wanted to.” Bret looked down into his empty glass. “Besides, I wouldn’t mind continuing what we
started earlier.”
Fuck. Julie had rather hoped that Bret wouldn’t mention that. She had managed to convinced herself that
pot just did strange things to her, but now she realized it made her stomach
flip over, just slightly, to hear him say that. She tried to think of what to say, and opted for humor. “Why, Bret, are you trying to pick me up?”
He laughed. “If that’s what you want to call it,” he
said, “but without me, I’d hate to see who you got to give you a ride back to
your house.”
“You have a point,” Julie
conceded. “I suppose since I’m one of
those loose little whores who hang around with band freaks, I have to give you
the obligatory wild night in return for your chivalry.”
“Hey, that isn’t what I meant!”
“I know, I’m just kidding. Take me home,” Julie said. “We’ll see what happens once we’re
there.” She found herself winking and
immediately wished the human body was capable of kicking itself in the
brain.
The pair made their way through the
crowd to an exit in the back of the club which led into an alley. As soon as they got outside and saw the
scene unfolding before them, they both stopped in their tracks. “Oh, shit,” Julie breathed.
Sebastian was sitting on the ground
in the alley, hands cuffed behind his back, with a police officer standing next
to him scribbling something in a little notebook. Bret approached the cop.
“What’s the problem here, officer?”
The cop gave Bret a critical
once-over. “You know this young man?”
he asked.
Bret nodded. “Yes, he’s a friend of mine.” Sebastian leaned over and vomited on the
ground. Julie winced.
“Well, sir, your friend here seems
to be under the influence of narcotics,” the cop explained. “In case you couldn’t tell.”
Bret sighed. “Is he under arrest?”
The cop folded his arms acrossed his
chest. “Well, sir, being under the
influence of narcotics is a crime in the state of California, so yes, he
is. I’d expect you to be pretty
familiar with these laws.”
It looked as though Bret was about
to make the unwise decision of saying something snappy, and Julie stepped
forward. “Sir, how can we get him out
of jail?”
The cop raised an eyebrow at
her. “Who are you?”
Julie blinked. “I’m his sister,” she said. She felt Bret’s surprise even though neither
she nor the policeman were looking at him.
“What’s your name, miss?”
“Julie Kinsington,” she answered, at
the same time that she realized she probably should have lied about that.
“This young man’s name is Sebastian
Bach. Do you two have different
fathers, or what?” The cop was
sarcastic.
Bret interjected. “Sebastian Bach is a stage name. His last name is Kinsington, just like
hers.”
“We’re really worried about him,
sir,” Julie said pleadingly.
The cop sighed and relaxed a little. “You two got some ID on you?” Julie and Bret took out their IDs and he
looked them over. “All right, listen,”
he said after a minute. “Miss, I’m
going to let you take your brother home this time, but if I catch him out here
again, he’s going to jail, understand?
He’s lucky he didn’t have anything on him.”
Julie nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
The cop pulled Sebastian roughly to
his feet. He tried to look over at Bret
and Julie, but he was acting as though his head was too heavy for his neck to
support. Once the handcuffs were off,
the cop handed Julie and Bret back their IDs and gave them another warning
before leaving.
Sebastian started to mumble
something unintelligible and took a step towards them, but his knees began to
buckle. Bret grabbed him under one
arm. “Let’s get him the fuck out of
here.”
§
It took them nearly fifteen minutes
to get Sebastian to the car, and nearly another ten to get him in the
backseat. As they drove back to Julie’s
house, she turned to Bret and whispered, “What is he on?”
Bret glanced in the rearview
mirror. “Dope,” he said simply, and
went back to focusing on the road.
“You mean like heroin?”
“Yes.”
“You guys do that stuff?”
Bret didn’t answer her. She repeated the question, and he still
didn’t reply. “Make sure he doesn’t
puke in my car,” he said after a minute, with a finality that clearly told
Julie to stop asking questions.
The rest of the trip continued in
strained silence. When they parked in
front of the house, Bret turned to face Sebastian. “Do you think you can walk by yourself, jackass?” Julie recoiled at the harshness in his tone.
Sebastian made a noise in his
throat. Bret got out of the car,
looking disgusted, and turned to Julie.
“I’m going inside,” he said. “If
he can’t get from here to there by himself, that’s on him.” Without waiting for a response, he hurried
into the house.
Julie sat still, looking out into
the night, for a few long moments before sighing and turning around. “Sebastian?”
He opened first one eye, then the
other, sleepily. “Yeah?” His voice was sluggish and thick.
“Are you okay?” She actually wanted to grab him by the
shoulders and shake him, but she decided that really wasn’t going to make the
situation any better. For the moment,
she was just going to have to suck it up and play good cop to Bret’s bad cop.
“I’m fine,” he said, or at least
that’s what it sort of sounded like.
His eyes had closed again.
Frustrated, Julie clambered into the
backseat and onto his lap. “I said,
are you okay!” she said loudly, into his ear.
Sebastian’s head shot up and he
opened his eyes fully. “What the
fuck! I said I was fine!”
“No, you said something
unintelligible, and you’re not acting like someone who’s fine,” Julie
corrected him.
Sebastian made a noise that could
have been a sigh. “Julie, I’m
okay. I’m just a little high.”
She snorted. “Saying you’re a ‘little high’ is like
saying the Grand Canyon is kind of a big ditch.”
“Is this some kind of ‘just say no’
speech?”
“Oh, please. You can shoot heroin until your arms fall
off, I’m not your mother.” Julie
realized her tone sounded more harsh than she’d meant it to and she softened
it. “I think you gave Bret a scare back
there.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes, as much
as someone doped out of their head can roll their eyes. “Bret’s seen me like that about fifty
times.”
“Well…” Julie faltered. “He didn’t want to see you hauled off to
jail. You have me to thank for that, by
the way.”
“I’m stoned, I’m not deaf,”
Sebastian said. “I know you saved my
ass. That sister bit was kind of
slick.” He paused. “So yeah, thanks or whatever.”
“Well, since you said it with such
heart, you’re welcome.”
Sebastian’s arms suddenly came up
around Julie’s waist and she stiffened involuntarily. “Anyway, Julie, I think it was you who was scared back
there.”
“Scared of what?” Julie said,
although she knew he was mostly right.
It had freaked her out to see him in the alley like that.
“I don’t know, nice little rich girl
like you?” She couldn’t really argue
that, either. At her father’s parties
she’d seen a lot of things, and she was sure that people had been doing
every drug under the sun at them, heroin not excluded, but she’d never seen
it. Or if she had, it wasn’t like
this. She must have looked wounded by
his remark, because Sebastian continued to speak without the sarcastic edge in
his voice. “Look, I’m sorry, it just
hasn’t been the best of nights, you know?”
One of his hands was slowly rubbing her back.
“It hasn’t exactly been a party for
me, either.”
“Sorry I ruined your night.”
“You didn’t. Well, I mean, you might have been the cherry
on the sundae, but the night was shaping up to suck before that.”
“You didn’t have a good time at
Ataxia?” He slurred on the club’s name.
“Well, I mostly did, I guess. I’m a little tipsy.” She told him the story about Bret’s fight.
Sebastian smiled a little. “How chivalrous of him,” he said. “Sorry I missed it.”
Julie looked at him. “I think you were having a better time.”
He sighed and smiled. “Yeah, you’re probably right about
that. But if I was there, I would have
kicked the shit out of that guy for you.”
“I’m sure you would have.”
They fell silent. Julie thought about getting up and dragging
Sebastian into the house, but the leftover alcohol and her general lack of
motivation stopped her. His hand was
still kneading gentle circles on her lower back and she was lulled by the
soothing motion. She closed her
eyes.
Things went into motion very
quickly. All at once, both of Sebastian’s
hands were on her, his mouth pressing insistently against hers. A voice in her marveled at the fact that
someone on heroin could move with such speed.
Another voice interrupted the first one to tell it to shut up and pay
attention to what was happening. For
the second time that night, Julie found her tongue intertwining with
Sebastian’s. He wasted no time pulling
her shirt over her head and tossing it aside.
Julie pulled back and said
breathlessly, “Bret…”
Sebastian smirked. “No, I’m Sebastian.”
“I mean, what about Bret…”
“He’s not invited.” Sebastian shut her up by fastening his mouth
to hers again, then moved to kiss her neck.
Julie exhaled sharply, feeling again the magnetism she’d felt the first
time this had almost happened. In a
fluid motion, he unbuttoned her pants and worked his hand into them, and Julie
sunk her teeth into the soft flesh of his neck to keep from crying out. This action was rewarded with a low,
gutteral sound from Sebastian, and she paused to peel his shirt off. His upper body was smooth and sleek, and
once again Julie found herself thinking of a graceful animal.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,”
Sebastian purred, his face buried in her hair.
Julie felt a chill race up her back at his words, and reached down to
unbutton his jeans.
Somehow, through a combined effort,
they managed to slide Julie’s pants off, and they were tossed aside with her
shirt. They paused for a moment. “Are you sure?” Sebastian asked
breathily.
“No,” Julie answered, as he slid
himself into her.
§
Julie ran her fingers through her
hair in a half-assed attempt to make it lay smoothly again. “Come on!” she said urgently to
Sebastian.
Sebastian buttoned his jeans and
looked at her, but didn’t make any move to get out of the car. “What’s the big hurry?”
“We’ve been out here for an
hour. Don’t you think Bret’s wondering
what the fuck happened to us by now?”
Sebastian chuckled. “Maybe.
Why do you care so much?”
“I don’t know,” she replied.
“It’s just rude to leave him in there.”
“Well, aren’t you the
considerate little hostess?” Sebastian scoffed.
“Are you coming or what?” Julie
asked impatiently.
Sebastian leaned his head back. “I think I’m just going to stay here,
actually,” he said.
“What, you mean sleep in the car?”
“Trust me, I’m comfortable.” He smiled at her. “Even more comfortable now.”
Julie blushed a little. “You sure?”
“You’ve never shot smack, have
you?” He didn’t wait for an
answer. “Being upright on smack has a
tendency to make a mess. I’d just as
soon sleep it off out here.”
“All right, then, whatever you say,”
Julie said, sighing a little. “I’ll
leave the front door open, just in case.
Um… goodnight.”
“’Night,” Sebastian mumbled. He was already dozing off.
Julie hurried into the house and
stopped in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before going off in search of
Bret. She stopped briefly in front of a
mirror in the foyer and decided that she didn’t look too bad, probably
no worse than the earlier events of the evening would have made her look. She took the stairs two at a time and found
Bret in her father’s room, flipping channels.
“You were gone a while,” he addressed her without looking up.
“Sebastian didn’t want to get out of
the car,” Julie said.
“And what, you spent an hour trying
to convince him he did?”
Julie decided to definitely keep her
mouth shut about what she had spent an hour doing. “No,” she answered, “but I didn’t want to
leave him out there alone. I wasn’t
sure if he was okay.”
“Baz is fine. He pulls shit like this all the time.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Julie
replied. “I’m sure he was ‘fine’ by
your definition the night he fell through the table, too, but I stayed with him
then. It’s just what I do.” She shrugged.
Bret relaxed a little. “You’re a good person, Julie. Better than I am.” He paused. “I should have
been out there with you.”
The inside of Julie’s head made a
noise like a hundred rubber bands snapping.
“It’s okay,” she said, meaning it more than Bret could possibly have
understood. “He’s sleeping now,
anyway.”
Bret
motioned for her to join him on the bed.
“Don’t worry about Baz,” he said.
“He’ll be okay. If I thought he
wouldn’t be, I wouldn’t have left him out there in the first place.”
“I know,” Julie said, putting her
bottle of water on the nightstand. “I
guess sometimes my maternal instincts get the best of me.” Maternal instincts have nothing
to do with what just happened, someone in her head scoffed.
Bret moved closer to her. “It’s kind of cute, the way you take care of
people,” he said, smiling a little.
Julie laughed. “If you say so.”
Bret leaned up on one elbow so that
the pair were eye to eye. “Anyway,” he
said, his voice softening, “didn’t we have a date?”
There was that rubber-band noise again
as Julie realized there was probably no graceful way to back out of the
situation. “I said ‘we’ll see’,” she
admonished lightly, even though she knew exactly where this was going. She opened her mouth to say more, but Bret
silenced her with a kiss.
Julie immediately compared Bret’s
kisses to Sebastian’s. Both of their
mouths were soft, and tasted similarly of alcohol, cigarettes, and boy, but
Bret’s kisses themselves were softer, less insistent. Sebastian kissed like a wild animal about to feed. For the second time in the course of the
night, Bret began to make a trail of kisses down Julie’s body, and her mind
raced. The little alcohol that was left
to cloud her brain slowed her down just enough to keep her from stopping things
from progressing, and after what had just happened with Sebastian, she thought
that there was no real reason to stop now anyway. She’d already fucked up quite majorly; why not go two for
two? She closed her eyes as Bret
reached down to unbutton her jeans. “We
shouldn’t be doing this,” she said weakly.
“Yes, we should.” He kissed her stomach.
“Why,” Julie said, quietly, arching
her back slightly.
“Because it’s good,” Bret
said simply, his voice low, his hair brushing against her chest. His words made strange sense, and Julie put
her hands on his shoulders and stopped resisting.
§
Julie knew the bed was empty before
she opened her eyes, and for a while, she just stayed where she was, eyes
closed, thinking about that. Part of
her was disappointed, like any girl would be, that she didn’t wake up to
cuddles and breakfast in bed, but she hadn’t really expected it. The more realistic part of her was greatly
relieved that she didn’t have to roll over and face him yet. For a moment, she pondered upon the idea of
simply staying right where she was until her father came home, but decided that
would be impractical. Reluctantly, she
pulled herself out of bed and started slowly towards the bathroom. Before anything else, showering was an
absolute necessity.
She pushed the bathroom door open
and was met with Bret sitting on the edge of the bathtub. “Shit, sorry!” she said instinctively, and
was about to leave when she realized several things about the scene before her
that were a bit off. Bret was sitting
on the edge of the bathtub, something that Julie couldn’t find many logical
reasons for. Moreover, he had a needle
in his hand.
“Um,” Bret said.
“You say that a lot,” Julie said,
trying to figure out what to do, or why this suddenly mattered.
“Listen, Julie, I—“
She cut him off. “You don’t need to explain yourself.” She wanted to say more, but no words came to
her, and a voice in her head was screaming at her to just get away from
this situation and how she was feeling about it. She backed out of the room, closing the door behind her, and took
off across the house.
A
few minutes later, breathless, Julie found herself in the attic. She sat down heavily on a dusty chest. “What the hell is the matter with
you?” she asked herself out loud. She
pulled her crumpled pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and lit one, her hands
shaking a little. She had to figure out
what the hell was going on, both in- and outside of her head. Question number one was, why did she care
that she had found Bret in the bathroom with a needle? Actually, no, question number one was, why
had she—
Her
train of thought was interrupted by a door slamming. She couldn’t possibly have heard the front door slamming from
where she was, which meant it had to be a door on the floor below her. Julie sighed and went to investigate.
It
was the door to the master bedroom that had been slammed shut, but when Julie
bit her lip and opened it, expecting to have to face Bret, the room was
empty. She stood still for a moment,
confused, until she heard the front door slam shut. She immediately turned to go after him, but thought better of
it. He hadn’t bother to come
looking for her, after all, and besides, she didn’t have any idea what
she’d say to him. She didn’t even know
what to say to herself. With a sigh, Julie entered her father’s room and sat
down on the bed. She needed to talk to someone
about this, she knew, and the unfortunate reality was that the only option
she had was Sam. She’d just have to
leave out the part that the characters involved were rock stars, that’s
all. She dialed Sam’s number, and when
her friend answered, she said simply, “Need to talk, come over,” and hung up
without waiting for a reply.
§
“Thanks,”
Sam said, taking the cup of coffee that Julie was extending to her. “Now…what’s up, Jule? Not to be rude, but you look like shit.”
Julie
took a seat across the table from her.
“It’s been a rather long couple of days,” she replied. “Are you sure you want to hear about this?”
“Maybe
not,” Sam admitted, “but you said you needed to talk, so I’m here to listen to
it.”
Julie
sighed deeply. “Well, I met these two
guys,” she began, knowing that if she mentioned that she’d met them because of
her father, Sam would put two and two together and get ‘hair metal’. She continued talking until she had related
the entire story, from the broken table, to the bar sleaze, to the arrest, to
the sex, to what had happened just a little while earlier. “And then I called you,” she finished, and
sighed again.
“Jesus
Christ, Jule!” her friend exclaimed.
“Where are these guys now?”
“I
have no idea,” Julie answered. “I’m not
sure I want to know. I’m not sure if
they’re going to come back or what.”
She almost added how her father would be pissed if Bret didn’t
come back, but caught herself.
“Well, sweety, I wish I had some
kind of sage advice to give you, but through all the crazy shit that I’ve seen,
this seems to be on the top of the list so far,” Sam said, shaking her
head. “Do you like them?”
“No,” Julie said quickly. “Well… yeah. I mean, I guess I do, sort of.
Just don’t ask me why, and don’t ask me to choose between the two of
them, because I really have no fucking idea.”
Just then, the front door banged
shut and Julie distinctly heard two sets of footsteps tramping through the
house in the direction of the kitchen.
How the fuck did they always know exactly where in the house she
was? “Fuck,” she said, defeated. This was going to be such a scene.
“Look, Julie, about this morning –
oh, shit, I didn’t realize you had company,” Bret said, coming into the kitchen
with a much less disheveled-looking Sebastian on his heels.
Julie balanced her forehead on the
top of her water bottle and stared at the table. “Bret, Sebastian, this is Sam,” she said flatly.
“Hey,” Sebastian and Bret said
simultaneously. Sam made a sputtering
sound.
Bret turned back to Julie. “Julie, about this morning, I can explain
that.”
“You don’t have to,” she responded,
peeking at him from over the bottle.
“Sure, he does,” Sebastian said, taking
a seat at the table.
Sam was turning pink and attempting
to talk. “You… you…”
Bret raised an eyebrow. “Yes, we are,” he said to her. Sebastian put his hand over Sam’s and told
her to relax.
Sam turned to Julie, wide-eyed. Julie thought of an excited Labrador
retriever. “You… you…” she began
again. “YOU SLEPT WITH THESE GUYS?!”
she finally managed to spit out.
The water bottle toppled over and
hit the table with a dull thud, and Julie wished the floor would just
spontaneously open up and swallow her.
She wondered if this could possibly get any worse. Sebastian made a noise that was something
between an expression of surprise and a laugh.
Bret opened his mouth as if to say something, stopped himself, and
walked out of the room.
“Fuck,” Julie said. She turned her attention to Sam. “Sam, I think you’d better leave.”
“Are you kidding?!?” Sam was staring intently at Sebastian, who
was trying not to laugh.
“No, Sam, I am not kidding. You need to leave now.” Sam looked about to protest but apparently
saw something in Julie’s gaze that told her that her friend was totally
serious. She stared at Sebastian for
another minute, mumbled something about calling later, and left.
A few minutes passed in stony
silence before Sebastian finally asked, still smiling, “So, you fucked Bret?”
There was no way to save face in
such a predicament, really. “Yes,” she
said quietly.
“What’s wrong?”
Julie looked at him as though he’d
just grown a third arm. “What’s wrong?”
she repeated, incredulous.
“That’s what I said. What’s the big fucking deal? So you slept with both of us. You’re not the first girl.”
Julie just looked at him for a
minute and thought that his flippancy was a bit forced, but declined to comment
on it. Finally, she said, “Maybe not,
but this is a first for me, so forgive me if I’m not exactly sure
how I’m supposed to behave in this situation.”
She paused. “It’s just been a
fucked up couple of days. I mean,
between the sex, and the two of you shooting heroin, and—“
Sebastian cut her off. “Bret wasn’t doing heroin.”
“What are you talking about? I caught him shooting up in my bathroom a
couple of hours ago!”
Sebastian nodded. “Yes, you did, but he wasn’t doing heroin.”
“What the fuck was it, then? Coke?
Either way, it’s not a pleasant wake-up call!”
“It wasn’t coke, either. Calm down and listen to me for a minute
here, okay?” He waited for her to nod
before continuing. “Julie, Bret’s
diabetic. He has to give himself shots
of insulin every day.”
Julie just stared at Sebastian
dumbly for a few minutes, unable to either comprehend or respond to what she’d
just been told. Finally, she just said,
“Shit. I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Sebastian
said. “And Bret didn’t expect you
to. He was coming back here to explain
it to you.”
Julie sighed. “This couldn’t possibly get any more fucked
up,” she said.
Sebastian laughed. “You wanna bet?”
Julie gave him a Look. “Anyway,” she said, “if this is such a minor
transgression for you guys, then why did he storm out of here like that?”
Sebastian shifted uncomfortably and
lit a cigarette, not looking at her. “I
have no idea,” he said after a minute.
“Bret’s just a moody fuck.”
Julie sensed his unease and
considered pushing the issue, but instead rose to her feet. “Well, I guess I should get up there and try
to apologize to him.”
“What are you sorry for?” Sebastian
asked her.
Julie hesitated. “For not giving him the chance to explain
himself,” she said. She was also sorry
that she seemed to have somehow hurt his feelings, something that she would
have considered virtually impossible, but she thought it best to not mention
that in present company.
“Good,” Sebastian replied. “Just making sure.”
Julie hurried up the steps and to her
father’s bedroom, going over possible things to say in her head. With a breath, she pushed the door opened,
prepared to start with something along the lines of, ‘Listen, Bret, I’m
sorry,’ or something equally corny.
What actually came out was, “What the fuck are you doing?!”
Bret pulled back from Sam and leaned
against the headboard, while Sam scrambled to pull her shirt down. “Julie!” Sam exclaimed. “I can explain!”
“No, you really can’t, Sam,”
Julie retorted, then focused on Bret.
“But maybe you can!” She
felt as though she had no control over the words that were flying out of her
mouth.
“What’s to explain?” Bret said, his
voice cold. It wavered slightly.
Julie opened her mouth to reply, but
turned to Sam. “You get out of here,”
she said evenly. “We will talk about
this later.”
“But, Julie, I—“
“But you want to stay here and make
out with the big cool rockstar? Tough
shit. Get out of my house,” Julie said,
not quite able to believe how cruel she was being.
Sam sat still for a moment longer
before looking at Bret. “Bret, um,” she
began, but Bret put his hand up to silence her. Defeated, Sam left the room.
Julie waited to hear the front door slam shut before closing the bedroom
door and turning her attention back to Bret.
“What the fuck was that all about?”
she demanded.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Bret
said coolly.
“She’s my best friend.”
“And Sebastian is my best
friend. What’s your point?”
Julie was momentarily defeated, but
managed to continue looking angry. “What
does it matter to you? This isn’t the
first time you two have shared a girl, I’m sure!”
Bret glared at her. “You’re right, it isn’t. And it isn’t a big deal.” He didn’t sound terribly sure of
himself.
“Then why did you stomp off in a
huff?” Julie demanded.
Bret hesitated, but only for a
second. “Because you’re a fucking
liar.”
“What did I lie about?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Julie. How about last night when you were ‘taking
care of Sebastian’?” He snorted. “What
did you call that? Your maternal
instinct?”
“Oh, don’t turn this around on
me! You were about to fuck my best
friend!”
“That sounds more like a problem to
address with your best friend,” Bret countered. “Who, I might add, I didn’t know was your best friend
until five minutes ago.”
“Fuck, Bret! It doesn’t even matter that Sam’s my
best friend. You were about to fuck
someone else in my house!”
Julie took a breath. “Christ, it
was even in the same bed.”
“And you were in my car,”
Bret retorted. “Besides, who the fuck
cares? You obviously don’t.”
“How can you say I shouldn’t care
that you were about to screw my best fucking friend—“
“In the same bed, in your house,
blah blah blah,” Bret cut in. He
climbed off the bed and crossed the room to her. “Just fucking shut up about it already.” In one quick motion, he leaned down and
pressed his lips against hers. She felt
his tongue trying to force its way into her mouth.
Although part of her wanted to
relent, Julie put his hands to his chest and pushed him away with all of her
strength. “What the fuck are you
doing?” she demanded.
Bret wiped his mouth with the back
of his hand. “I thought that was all
you cared about,” he said coldly.
Julie looked at him for a long
moment before speaking. “Get the fuck
out of my house.”
Bret looked at her, his face
serious, but Julie thought she saw something else behind his eyes. “Is that what you want?”
“You’re damn right,” Julie spat
out.
“Fine. I’m gone.” Bret grabbed
his leather jacket off the floor and tore out of the room. Julie watched him leave and sat down heavily
on the bed. She felt an urge to cry,
but bit it back.
A few minutes later, Sebastian poked
his head around the corner. “Can I come
in?”
Julie sighed. “Sure.”
He came in and sat next to her on
the bed. “Didn’t seem like that went so
well,” he said after a minute.
“You could say that. Were you listening in the whole time?”
Sebastian grinned. “Will you hit me if I say yes?”
“No. Don’t feel like it.”
“In that case, yeah, I heard most of
it.”
“Do you have anything insightful to
offer?” Julie lit a cigarette.
Sebastian lit a cigarette of his own
and slowly exhaled the smoke. “Bret,”
he began slowly, “is a good guy.”
Julie looked at him. “That’s your insight?”
“Actually, yeah, it is. Bret’s a good guy,” he repeated, “and that’s
why he acted like that.”
Julie frowned. “I think I missed a vital step in the
thought process on that one.”
Sebastian smiled a little. “What do you want to know, Julie?”
“What the hell is going on would be
a nice start.”
“That’s a pretty broad question.”
She sighed. “Why did he storm out of the kitchen
earlier?”
“Didn’t he tell you it’s because you
lied to him about what happened with us?”
“Yes, that’s what he told me,” Julie
agreed, “but just between you and me, it sounded like bullshit.”
“It wasn’t, at least not
entirely. He’s genuinely pissed off
that you fucked me, then came in here and fucked him like there was nothing to
it.” Although Sebastian’s words were
true, the flippant way that he spoke them made Julie’s stomach flip over. “But I suppose you’re a smart enough girl to
figure out that with the type of lifestyle we lead, that sort of thing happens
all the time.”
“Right, so what’s the difference
this time?”
Sebastian looked at Julie
evenly. “What do you think the
difference is?”
Julie shook her head. “That’s absurd, Sebastian. He can’t actually give a shit.”
“He gives a shit.” He paused.
“I’m going to tell you flat out that I think he’s a fucking idiot for
giving a shit – but he gives a shit all right.”
Julie considered questioning him on
the ‘fucking idiot’ part, but she knew Sebastian was right. “Why?
Does he give a shit, I mean.”
“Well, this is just my opinion,”
Sebastian warned, “but living at least mostly an identical life to his, I think
it’s a pretty good guess.” Julie
nodded. “In our line of work, if you
can even call it that, life never slows down.
We’re constantly on tour or in the studio or at parties like the ones
your dad throws. We have very little
downtime, and that, incidentally, is also why we’ve been wound a little tight
this week. We have so little free time
that we don’t know quite what to do with ourselves when we do have
it.”
Julie listened intently, surprised
that Sebastian was capable of talking so calmly. She decided that just maybe, she’d have to change some of the
stereotypes she had of these people.
“Anyway,” Sebastian continued,
“don’t get me wrong. We love what we
do. I mean, come on – we get paid to do
what we love and raise hell. We’re
living some kind of fucked-up American dream.
But you make a lot of sacrifices, too.”
“You’ll have to forgive me for not
recognizing immediately how hard it must be on you guys to become rich doing
what you do,” Julie said.
“It’s all right. I wouldn’t expect you to.” He put his cigarette out. “The thing is, Julie, we don’t have
private lives. That’s the
sacrifice. Everything we do is fair
game for the media. Can you imagine
that?” Julie shook her head. “And with that,” Sebastian continued, “you
lose important things, like friendships.
Bret and I are pretty close, but we’re in the business together, so we
understand each other. It’s hard for us
to maintain friendships with people who aren’t, because they don’t get it, and
we don’t usually have the time. And
more important than friendships, we don’t have time for girls.”
Julie laughed in that way that one
laughs when something isn’t actually funny.
“You seem to do all right,” she said.
“You’ll notice I didn’t say we didn’t
have time for getting laid,” Sebastian said.
“It’s true that we can pretty much get our dicks sucked whenever we
want, and I’m not going to lie – that’s fucking awesome.” Julie bit back a smile. “But a girlfriend? I haven’t had a real girlfriend since I was seventeen. I can’t remember the last time Bret went on
a date for any reason other than public relations. The girls whose attention we get aren’t girlfriend material, they
just want us because of who we are, and they just want us for a night.”
“You don’t seem to mind,” Julie
said, but her tone was softening.
“We don’t, usually,” Sebastian
agreed. “We’re guys, we like to
party. I’m not going to complain about
the group of women who follow us everywhere we go, and it’s a mutual thing. They view us as objects, and we do the same
to them. But all of these women think
that there’s nothing to us beyond what we portray on stage or at parties, and
that gets tired.” Julie began to get an
idea of what he was getting at.
“Meeting a girl who actually seems to enjoy our company because of who
instead of what we are is a very rare occurrence.”
“So let me get this straight. Bret likes me because I don’t know who he
is?”
Something flashed over Sebastian’s
face and disappeared as quickly as it came.
“Basically, yeah,” he replied.
“You don’t even respect what we do, and yet you still talk to us.”
“Well, I was kind of forced into the
situation.”
“At first, yeah, but you didn’t have
to actually hang out with us,” Sebastian said.
“And you certainly didn’t have to sleep with us.”
“And I probably shouldn’t have.”
“Maybe not,” he conceded. “It definitely makes things more
interesting, though.”
“Why isn’t he mad at you?”
“He is, in his way, I’m sure,”
Sebastian answered. “It’s just
different between guys.”
“Okay, so why was he such an
asshole?”
“Well, honestly, what else
was he going to do? You’re not exactly
the sweetest little thing when you’re in a situation that makes you confused
and uncomfortable,” Sebastian noted.
“I’m not saying it’s cool that he was on top of your friend when you
came up here to apologize to him, but I do see where the guy’s coming
from. You’re pretending you don’t like
him as much as he’s pretending he doesn’t like you.”
Julie sighed. “But I don’t like him,” she argued. “I mean, I don’t know what I think.”
“And neither does he.”
“All right, fine, I give. If the way you’re explaining things is
right, then I probably owe Bret some kind of apology. Where do you suppose he went?”
Sebastian glanced at the clock,
which read 11:06pm. “I can’t say for
sure, but he probably went to Ataxia.
Do you want me to go with you?”
He sounded hopeful.
“I don’t think that would really
help the situation at the moment,” Julie answered, “but if you want to help me
out, you could let me use your car.”
Sebastian laughed. “Yeah, go ahead.” He handed her the keys.
§
After a much-needed shower and a
change of clothes, Julie headed off to Ataxia.
Luckily, the same bouncer who had been in charge of the whole fiasco with
the drunk sleaze the previous night was now working the door, and remembered
Julie’s face. He was even kind enough
to tell her that Bret had been sitting alone at the bar the entire time, which
surprised Julie even after her talk with Sebastian. She made her way through the smoky room and took a seat next to
him. “Buy a girl a drink?”
Bret didn’t answer her, but instead
got the bartender’s attention and ordered an electric lemonade. Once Julie had gotten her drink, he
addressed her directly. “I didn’t
expect you to come looking for me.”
“Well, if you didn’t end up being
here, I probably would have given up,” she admitted.
Bret took a sip of his drink and
sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry about
earlier. I was out of line.”
“No, I was. You’re right, it’s Sam I should be taking
this up with, not you,” Julie replied.
“And I should have told you about what happened with Sebastian.”
“Why should you have?” Mercifully, Bret continued without waiting
for a response. “I’m not your
boyfriend. Hell, we’re not even really
friends.”
Julie looked down at her drink. “I think we are,” she said. “Friends, I mean. Sort of.”
Bret smiled a little. “I guess I could use a friend who isn’t in a
band.”
Julie thought back to what Sebastian
had said. “Yeah. Maybe I could use a friend who is. I guess I kind of had you guys pegged
wrong.”
“Not really,” Bret admitted. “All of those stories you hear about
groupies and drugs and wild parties probably weren’t embellished. Some of them might have even been edited for
content. We’re not exactly the future
of America.”
“Maybe not, but you’re not so bad.”
Bret took another sip of his drink
and cleared his throat. “So, do you
regret it?”
Julie swallowed. “Sleeping with you, you mean?” He nodded, not looking at her. “I don’t
know. Part of me does.”
“That part’s probably right.”
“I’m sure we’ve both made bigger
mistakes.”
Bret laughed. “That’s an
understatement.”
“I got a new friend out of it,
right?” Julie felt corny, but she meant
what she was saying.
Bret finally looked at her, and
Julie had to force herself not to turn away from his eyes. She still wasn’t quite sure why they had
such an effect on her. “Yeah,” he said
quietly after a minute. “I guess you
did. I should warn you, though, I’m
probably not the best friend to have.”
“Why? Do you hog the covers?”
Bret laughed. “Probably,” he replied. “But seriously, if I was you, I wouldn’t
want to be friends with someone in my position. I’m never around, and I can be pretty flighty when I am.”
“You keep me on my toes.”
“I could probably make a crude joke
about that, but I’ll refrain.”
“Good call,” Julie said. “Seriously, though, you can never have too
many friends. Let’s not talk ourselves
out of it.”
“Just don’t say I didn’t warn
you.” Bret finished his drink. “Where’s Sebastian? Did he drive you here?”
“No, he lent me his car.”
Bret looked at her. “He lent you the car?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t think he’s ever lent anyone
the car, unless you count the nights I’ve had to drive him home because he was
too smashed. But more importantly, you
left him alone at your house?”
“Was that a bad choice?”
“You saw what happened to your
table, and he was being supervised for that.”
He paused. “Well, sort of.”
“You may have a point there.”
“We
should probably go make sure he hasn’t burned the place down. That is, unless you want to stay here a
while.”
Julie shook her head. “I wouldn’t be here at all if I didn’t have
to track you down, and now that I’ve accomplished that goal, going home seems
like a good idea.”
§
Once back at the house, Bret went in
first with Julie close behind him, and called out for Sebastian. There was no response.
“He couldn’t have gone anywhere,”
Julie said. “Could he?”
“Rock stars don’t walk anywhere,”
Bret agreed.
“Maybe he’s sleeping.”
“It’s not even 2am,” Bret said,
shaking his head. “This is dinnertime
in our world.” Just then, there was a
loud crash from upstairs.
Julie and Bret exchanged a
glance. “I wonder what piece of
furniture just met its unfortunate demise,” she said. “We should probably go check that out.”
“Whatever he broke, I’m sorry,” Bret
said as they headed up the stairs.
Then, in the direction of the master bedroom, he called out, “You’re
paying for whatever you destroyed, asshole!”
There was no response. Julie crossed the threshold into her
father’s room before Bret, and sucked in her breath sharply at the sight before
her. The crash had been the lamp falling
off of the bedside table. Apparently, Sebastian
had knocked it over on his way to the floor.
“Fucking drunk bastard,” Bret said,
half-smiling.
Julie rushed over to Sebastian. “Bret, I don’t think he’s drunk,” she said,
a hint of panic in her voice. “Unless
drinking turns your lips blue.”
Bret was by her side in a flash,
smacking Sebastian in the face. “Baz,”
he said, then again, louder. Sebastian
didn’t respond. “Go run cold water in
the shower.” Julie didn’t move. “Now, Julie!”
Julie ran to do what she was told as
Bret pulled Sebastian semi-upright and dragged him into the bathroom. Once the shower was on, Bret threw him in
the tub. He still didn’t open his eyes
or give any indication that he was aware of what was going on.
“What the fuck is he on?”
Julie said, the panic in her voice growing.
Bret placed his fingers on the side
of Sebastian’s neck. “Coke,” he said
after a few seconds. “Fucking idiot,”
he said under his breath. Julie thought
he sounded more scared than angry. He
shook Sebastian harshly.
“Be careful!” Julie said
instinctively.
“If I’m gentle…” Bret trailed
off. They both knew the end of the
sentence.
After a minute or so, Sebastian
began to stir, then shake violently.
“What’s the matter with him?!” Julie demanded, almost shrieking.
“He shot too much coke,” Bret said,
avoiding the word ‘overdose’. “The good
news is, he’s probably not going to die this time.”
Sebastian stopped shaking after a
few minutes and muttered something unintelligible. “What?” Julie and Bret asked simultaneously.
“I said turn off th’ fuck’n water,”
Sebastian mumbled.
Bret reached over and turned off the
shower spray. He shook Sebastian’s
shoulders again. “You all right,
asshole?” He tried to sound angry, but
his voice betrayed him and his concern showed plainly.
“Mmmm… L’be fnnn… I’ll be fine,”
Sebastian managed to spit out.
“Is he really going to be fine?”
Julie asked without looking at Bret.
She crouched down next to Sebastian, who wasn’t looking very well.
“As fine as someone like him can
be,” Bret assured her. “We’re lucky we
got here when we did.”
Julie stood up. “No, he’s lucky we got here when we
did.” She turned to face Bret, and for
the second time in just a few minutes sucked her breath in sharply. Bret’s face was positively grey. Julie had heard the phrase “he went grey” in
the past, but she’d assumed it was just an expression. This was the first time she’d ever actually
seen someone’s face turn that color. “Bret? What’s wrong?”
Bret put a hand on the sink to
steady himself. “Nothing,” he said, his
voice sounding a little weak. “I mean,
don’t worry about it. I just need to
eat something.”
Julie frowned. “Do you always look like Casper the Friendly
Ghost when you’re hungry?”
“I mean, I need to eat something
with sugar in it,” Bret explained.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Just stay here with Sebastian, he’s in more trouble than I am
right now. I’ll be okay.” Thus saying, he left the bathroom.
Julie wanted to go after him, but
she knew he was right, and that Sebastian probably needed looking after more
than Bret did. She sat on the edge of
the tub. “Are you still breathing?” she
asked.
Sebastian looked up at her. “I’m fine,” he said. “Wet, but fine.”
“Totally fine?”
“Totally fine,” he promised. Julie smacked him across the face. “What the fuck was that for?!” Sebastian
demanded, rubbing his cheek.
“Because you’re a fucking asshole,
that’s why,” Julie said.
Sebastian pulled himself into a more
upright position. “What?”
“You scared the shit out of
me,” Julie said. “What the fuck were
you thinking?”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking, ‘Gee, I
better not do this, because I might scare somebody’.”
“Obviously! Maybe you should have. Wasn’t getting arrested for dope the other
night enough for you?”
Sebastian chuckled. “Of course it wasn’t,” he said. At least he was honest, Julie found herself
thinking.
“So that makes it okay for you to
scare the living shit out of me?”
Sebastian softened a little. “I didn’t mean to freak you out,” he
said. “Do you think I planned to
end up turning blue and soaking wet in your bathtub?” He pulled himself out of the tub and peeled his shirt off. “It’s fucking freezing in here.”
“No, it isn’t, you’re just drenched,
not to mention the fact that you just nearly overdosed.”
“I didn’t ‘nearly overdose’,”
Sebastian said in a voice that clearly said he wasn’t going to say anything
else on the topic. “But I am drenched.”
Julie rose and handed him a
towel. “That’s your own fault.”
“You didn’t have to throw me in the
tub.”
“No, we could have just let you die
on my father’s bedroom floor,” Julie said.
Sebastian began towel-drying his
hair. “Yeah, you could have,” he
agreed.
“Oh, shut up. That’s absurd.”
“Is it?” He turned to face her.
“Of course it is! Why would you even say something like that?”
He put the towel down on the sink
and looked at Julie. His wet hair hung
messily around his face and dripped down his chest. For a long moment they stood there like that, neither of them
speaking, and Julie had a feeling she knew what was coming.
Sure enough, Sebastian moved closer
to Julie and pressed his lips against hers, gently nudging her mouth open with
his tongue. At first, stunned, Julie
succumbed to the kiss, feeling a twinge of that electricity she’d felt when
they touched each other before. They
kissed for a long time, only their mouths touching, before Sebastian finally
brought his hand up to Julie’s side. That
broke the spell, and Julie pulled back.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Kissing you,” Sebastian answered
simply, and for a moment he seemed like he was going to do it again, but
instead he took a step backwards.
“That much is obvious,” Julie
replied. “I don’t get you.”
“What’s to get? You’re a pretty girl, and I wanted to kiss
you.”
“Just a couple of hours ago, you
were trying to play matchmaker for me and Bret.”
“All’s fair in love and war, right?”
Sebastian said.
Julie looked at him dumbly for a
minute. “What are you saying?”
Sebastian looked at her evenly for a
minute and then picked the towel up again and went back to drying his
hair. He laughed, but it sounded
forced. “I’m not saying anything,” he
said. “Bret’s got nothing to worry
about. All the girls go nuts over that
sensitive, nice guy image he’s got going on.”
He paused. “I don’t go in for
that sappy shit. I just like a tight
body.”
Julie wanted to tell him that she
could hear uncertainty in his voice, but she couldn’t be sure if she actually
did or if some part of her just wanted to.
“I should probably go find Bret,” she said.
Sebastian didn’t look at her. “Yeah, you probably should,” he said. Julie thought he sounded vaguely sad, but
didn’t press the issue. Instead, she
left the bathroom and headed downstairs to check on Bret.
Bret was sitting at the kitchen
table drinking a glass of orange juice.
He looked considerably better than he did a little while before. “You okay?” she asked, taking a seat at the
table.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Bret replied. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t have to worry about
Sebastian, either.”
“True enough, but I didn’t just
overdose.”
“Touché,” Julie said. “Are you sure you’re all right? Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m really okay,” Bret assured
her. “But listen, Julie, I’ve been
thinking.”
Julie raised an eyebrow. “That can’t be good.”
Bret smiled a little. “I was just thinking that maybe, in light of
everything that’s happened over the past few days…” He paused to take a sip of his juice. “Maybe we should just stay somewhere else.”
“No!” Julie said immediately, and
just as quickly scolded herself internally for sounding so desperate. “I mean, I think my father would be insulted
if he came home and you had just up and left, you know?”
Bret looked at the table. “Your father would be insulted,” he repeated
quietly. “Well, I’m sure he understands
that in our lifestyle, things change on a moment’s notice.”
“Yeah,” Julie had to agree. “But… I don’t know. I guess I don’t want you to leave.” She didn’t look at him.
“You don’t?”
Julie forced herself to meet his
gaze. “No,” she said. “I’ve rather gotten used to you.”
Bret smiled a little. “What about Baz?”
“He can stay, too,” she said. “It’ll be like a big slumber party.”
Bret looked away again. “Yeah,” he said, “it should be fun.” He finished his drink. “Is Baz okay?”
“I think he’s going to live,” Julie
replied, smiling a little. “Although I
think the only lesson he took from this experience is that he doesn’t enjoy
being wet and cold.”
“That’s Baz for you. We should probably go check on him and make
sure he hasn’t soaked the entire upstairs.”
Julie laughed. “You’re probably right.”
They found Sebastian sitting on
Julie’s father’s bed, smoking a cigarette.
He had changed his jeans, but hadn’t bothered putting another shirt on,
and his hair was still wet. “You okay
now, jackass?” Bret asked, not sounding as harsh as he probably wanted to.
“I’m fine, asshole,” Sebastian
replied, grinning.
“Care to explain why you’re wearing
my pants, then?”
“If you or the lady would prefer I
sit around naked, that can certainly be arranged.” He reached for the button on the pants.
Bret jumped onto the bed and grabbed
Sebastian’s wrists. “That’s something I
don’t think I need to see.”
Sebastian laughed and kicked around
a little bit, not really trying to get away.
“Aw, Mr. Sensitive doesn’t like little boys, too?” Julie bit her lip to keep from laughing out
loud.
“I know you didn’t just call me a
queer,” Bret said, putting more effort into restraining Sebastian.
“Hey, you’re the one jumping
around on a bed with a half-naked man on it,” Sebastian retorted, kicking
harder. The comforter slid off of the
bed and onto the floor. That time Julie
couldn’t help laughing out loud.
“Only because you threatened to be a
totally naked man,” Bret corrected.
They continued to wrestle around for
a few minutes, and Julie had to dive onto the bed to save Bret from getting a
lamp to the skull. “All right, boys,”
she said. “It’s been a long night. Why don’t we get some sleep?”
Bret let go of Sebastian. “That actually doesn’t sound like a bad
idea,” he agreed.
Sebastian rose to his feet. “Are you kidding? It’s barely two in the morning.”
He laughed. “You guys are
fucking weak. I’m going to the club to
have a little nightcap.”
Julie put the lamp back in its
proper position and turned to Sebastian.
“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”
“Yeah, Baz,” Bret agreed, “maybe
you’ve had enough fun for one night.
Why don’t you just get some sleep?”
“Nah,” Sebastian said, waving them
off. “I’m fine. Anyway, I’m not tired.”
Bret and Julie exchanged a
glance. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t
be,” Bret said.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Julie
asked.
“I’ll be fine. Thank you for saving my ass yet again.” He walked to the door and said, “Don’t wait
up, kids,” before leaving.
“He’s a lunatic,” Julie noted,
pulling the covers off of the floor and back onto the bed.
“That’s one word for it.” There were a few minutes of silence as Julie
put the bed back together. “Um… you
sleeping in here tonight?” Bret asked, not looking at her.
Julie hesitated, unsure of how to
respond to that. The thought of where
she was going to sleep hadn’t even crossed her mind. She thought that perhaps sleeping in the same bed might not be
the best of ideas, but also assumed that Bret might be offended if she
didn’t. “Yeah, sure,” she said
finally. “If you want me to.”
Bret still didn’t look at her, and
made himself busy taking off his shoes.
“Sure,” he said. “It’s always
nice to have a warm body next to you. I
mean—“
“I know what you mean,” Julie
interjected. “This house gets pretty
creepy at night sometimes, anyway. I’m
just going to go get changed and all that shit, and then I’ll be back in. I’m exhausted.”
“Me, too,” Bret agreed. “It’s been a rather crazy day.”
Julie snorted. “If you think these past couple of
days have been crazy, imagine how I feel.”
§
Sebastian somehow managed to park
his car in a somewhat straight position and turned off the engine. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to
sober up at least enough to walk into the house without incident, and then
noticed someone standing by the front door.
Curious, he pulled himself out of the car and staggered in their
direction. It turned out to be the girl
that had been there earlier in the day, although he couldn’t remember her
name. “Hey… hey, girl,” he slurred.
“Um… hi,” she replied, obviously
nervous. “I… I was just coming over to
apologize to Julie.”
Sebastian glanced up to the
second-story windows. “Julie…” he
began. “I think they’re… asleep.” He laughed.
“Oh…” she said.
“Whatsyer name ag’n?” Sebastian
asked drunkenly.
“Sam,” the girl said, her voice
unsteady.
“Hi, Sam. I’m Sebastian,” Sebastian
said, trying to sound cordial.
“I know,” Sam replied. “Anyway, um, if Julie’s… um, sleeping, then
I guess I’ll just… get going.”
Sebastian eyed the girl as well as
he could after a few too many jack and cokes.
He wasn’t sure if it was the whiskey talking or not, but she seemed
fairly attractive. “I’m not ready for
bed yet,” he offered. “Wanna come
inside?”
Sam shifted her weight from one foot
to the other. “Um… yeah,” she said, her
voice eager.
“Good, good,” Sebastian said,
leading the way inside. “Sit down!” he
offered, as though the house was his.
“I’m just going to go get us a little drink.”
He came back in a few minutes later
with a full bottle of Jack Daniels, which he proceeded to open and take a deep
swallow from. “Want some?” he offered,
extending it to Sam. She took it from
him and sipped at it cautiously.
“So… what is it you came over for
again?”
“Um,” Sam said, “To apologize. Um, to Julie.”
“Oh, oh, right, that,” he said. “Well, she’s… they’re upstairs.”
Sam took another sip from the
bottle, and then a bigger one. “Yeah,
you said,” she replied, and offered him the bottle.
“No, you go ahead,” Sebastian
said. “I’m good.”
They sat, quiet, for a little while,
with Sam taking periodic swigs from the bottle of whiskey. “I can’t believe I’m sitting on a couch with
Sebastian Bach,” she said finally.
“I’m afraid I’m not much in the
flesh.”
“Not much in the flesh? What are you talking about?” Sam
said, obviously relaxed by the alcohol.
“I fucking adore you,” she continued.
“Your music is incredible! And
you’re hotter than anyone I’ve ever—“
Sebastian shut her up by pressing
his lips to hers.
§
“Jesus fuck, Baz,” Bret said
loudly.
Baz opened his eyes and blinked a
few times. “Hunh,” he said.
“Samantha Christopher, get your
fucking clothes on and get the fuck out of my house,” Julie said then, her
voice thick with anger. “How many
fucking times do I have to kick you out?”
Sam shot upright and grabbed at her
shirt, trying to cover herself with it. “Julie! It’s… I can explain! I
came over last night to apologize and—“
“And you don’t need to finish that
sentence,” Julie cut her off, barely keeping her voice level. “Just get the fuck out of my house.”
Sam scrambled to get dressed. “Julie, listen, I’m really sorry, this
wasn’t supposed to happen, I…” She spoke fast.
“Save it. If you’re lucky, I’ll call you later,” Julie said. “Much later.”
Sam looked at Sebastian helplessly
and seemed about to say something, but didn’t.
She finished dressing quickly and made a beeline for the front door, not
turning back.
“Put some fucking clothes on,
asshole,” Bret said to Sebastian once Sam was gone. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
Baz leisurely pulled his pants
on. “Eh, Bret, what’s the big fucking
deal?”
“What’s the big fucking deal? You’re fucking out of control, Baz!”
“I am not out of control. That girl—“
“Sam,” Julie put in quietly.
“See? You don’t even know her fucking name!” Bret exclaimed.
Sebastian
ignored the comment. “Yes, that girl Sam. She was here when I got back last night, and
so—“
“And so you had to fuck her on the
couch?”
“What is your deal,
Michaels?” Sebastian demanded, standing up.
“What the fuck are you doing to
yourself?” Bret demanded. “First you
get arrested, then you nearly fucking overdose, now this? It’s fucking ridiculous!” His voice was steadily rising.
“Calm down, Bret,” Julie said.
“I will not! This is getting absurd! Baz, you need to grow up and get your
fucking head together.”
“Okay, Dad,” Sebastian
replied sarcastically.
“I am not your fucking father! Lord knows you fucking need one,
though. Sometimes I can’t fucking
believe the bullshit you pull.”
“Look, Bret, just because you’re
getting too old to party the way we used to—“
“I am not too old to party,”
Bret interjected angrily. “I’m just too
fucking smart.”
“Bret, come on, it’s not that big of
a deal,” Julie said, attempting to diffuse the situation. It didn’t work.
“Oh, you’re right, that must
be it,” Sebastian said coldly. “The
reason you can’t keep up with me is because you’re a Rhodes fucking scholar.”
“I didn’t fucking say that. I just don’t feel the need to act like an
18-year-old kid anymore.”
“Whatever, Michaels. You need to get the fuck over yourself,” he
said, and slammed the door behind him as he stomped out of the house.
For a minute, Bret and Julie just
stood there, Bret staring after Sebastian and Julie looking at the floor. Julie spoke. “You didn’t have to be so hard on him,” she said quietly.
“Oh, what,” Bret said, still angry,
“it’s okay that he fucks your best friend, but one little kiss and I’m the evil
villain?”
“I didn’t say that,” Julie replied.
“Well, you certainly don’t seem too
upset about it.”
“I am upset. I’m upset with Sam. You didn’t have to scream at him like that.”
“Oh, what the fuck would you
know about how to deal with him?”
“That isn’t how to deal with
anybody,” Julie said. “What good is it
going to do?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Well, why don’t you explain
it to me?” Julie said, anger creeping into her tone.
Bret ran a hand through his
hair. “Look,” he said after a minute,
“I’m sorry if I upset you, but you’ve got to understand, I’ve been through a
lot with him, and he’s getting really bad lately.”
“That much is obvious,” Julie
agreed. She sat on the couch and
motioned for Bret to sit next to her, which he did.
“Sebastian’s a good guy,” Bret began
uncertainly after a moment.
“He said the same about you,” she
said quietly.
“Well, we’ve been friends for a
while, before he got his band off the ground,” Bret said. “Now that they’re making it big, it’s all
going to his head. It’s more than he
ever expected, you know? It’s a lot to
handle.” He lit a cigarette. “We’re about to put out our third album, and
they just did their first. I’ve been in
this game for a long time, I know what it’s like.”
“And he doesn’t.”
“He does, but he doesn’t know it as
well. He’s not an idiot. He just still has an invincibility complex,
just like everyone does when they first get into it. A couple of years ago, I was just like him. Always fucked up, always fucking some chick
on some couch somewhere. It’s just the
way it goes.”
“And you’re not like that now?”
Bret sighed. “I’m not gonna lie,” he said. “I’m not the good guy all of a sudden. I’m just not as much the quintessential bad
boy as he is right now.”
“So if everyone goes through this
when they start, why not just let him sow his wild oats, so to speak?”
“Because not everyone comes out the
other side,” Bret explained. “I’ve seen
people ruin their entire lives doing what he does, even had a couple of friends
die. I don’t want to see that happen to
him. The better part of all of that
bullshit is behind me, shooting up coke in the bathroom, not caring if you live
or die. It gets old, if you’re
fortunate enough to make it to the point where it does.”
“So you’re just worried about him.”
“Of course I am. I don’t want him to be one of the ones who
doesn’t make it.” He put his cigarette
out. “I’ve just seen a lot of shit
happen. I’ve done a lot of shit,
I know how easy it can be to go the wrong way in this business.”
Julie nodded. “I guess I can understand that,” she
said. “I mean, I’ve only known the guy
a couple of days and I’m already worried about what he could end up doing to
himself.”
“Yeah, now multiply that by the
length of time I’ve known the guy.
Sometimes I just get so frustrated with his bullshit. I don’t mean to go off on him like that, but
when nothing you say does any good…” He trailed off.
Julie wasn’t quite sure how to
respond. What Bret was talking about
was definitely out of her league, since she knew very little about them and
even less about the business they were in, beyond serving them champagne and
cleaning up their messes. She knew that
she had to do something, though; it was an uncomfortable situation, and Bret
didn’t exactly seem happy. “You want to
go for a swim?” she asked suddenly, and bit the inside of her mouth hard. She hadn’t intended to say that.
A smile played around the corners of
Bret’s mouth. “Totally forgot you had a
pool,” he said. “Let’s go.” He got up and started heading through the
house.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” Julie
called after him. “I just have to go
change.”
Bret turned, grinning. “What for?” he asked. “You think I brought my bathing suit?”
“Are you suggesting we swim naked?”
Julie asked. She was stalling. She knew that was exactly what he was
saying, she just wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about the idea.
“Sure,” he said, “we’re friends,
right?” Julie nodded uncertainly. “Well, this can be a test of our friendship.”
Thus saying, he turned and continued on his way to the pool.
Bret thought nothing of slipping out
of his clothes and diving into the water immediately, but Julie took her time
getting undressed, feeling a bit self-conscious. It suddenly didn’t seem to matter that he’d already seen her
naked. As she slowly peeled off her
shirt, she couldn’t help but notice Bret looking at her from the water. She turned away and finished taking her
clothes off, then stood for a moment, trying to decide if she should just dive
in, or use the stairs. After a moment,
she decided the sooner she got in the water, the sooner she could stop standing
there like an exhibit on display.
Bracing herself for the cold temperature, she dove in.
“Fuck!” Julie exclaimed when she hit
the water. “This is freezing!”
Bret laughed and splashed at
her. “It’s not that cold.”
“Speak for yourself,” Julie replied,
splashing him back. “I have more nooks
and crannies than you do.”
“Perhaps you’re not familiar with
the term ‘shrinkage’,” Bret said, laughing.
“I can’t believe you just used
the term ‘shrinkage’,” Julie replied.
She shivered. “Maybe I’ll just
lay in the sun for a little while before I go for a swim.”
“Wuss.”
“Maybe so,” she said, “but I’m a
cold wuss. Want to join me?”
Bret looked at her for a
minute. “Nah, I think I’ll just swim
for a while.”
“Suit yourself.” Julie swam over to the edge of the pool and
pulled herself out. While she laid out
a towel to lay on, she glanced surreptitiously at Bret, who was doing
laps. His lean body moved effortlessly
through the water. She forced herself
to turn away, and stretched out on her stomach, deliberately facing away from
the pool. As friends, she didn’t need
to be staring at his body, no matter how much more appealing it seemed to
become by the moment. Pushing that
thought from her head, Julie closed her eyes and began to doze off.
Suddenly, she was jarred out of her state
of half-sleep by hands on her back. For
a moment, she remained still, allowing Bret to massage her shoulders and back,
her eyes closed. Then she said, without
moving, “What are you doing?”
“Rubbing your back,” he said
matter-of-factly. “Is that okay?”
Julie thought that her answer would
depend on what exactly Bret’s definition of ‘okay’ was. “Sure,” she said quietly, although she
wasn’t. Bret continued to rub her
shoulders, and after a few minutes Julie let herself relax. His hands slowly moved lower on her body,
and she let out a small moan. Suddenly,
Bret stopped, and Julie rolled over onto her back. “Why did you stop?”
“I can’t do this,” Bret said,
running a hand through his hair.
“Why?” Julie asked, although she
knew the answer.
“I’m sitting here, naked, with
probably one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen,” Bret answered. “Do you really think I can stop at a
massage?” Before Julie could reply, he
silenced her with a kiss, his body covering hers.
§
Julie pulled on her shirt and tried
not to look at Bret as he got dressed.
Once they were both clothed, Julie sat down heavily on her towel, and
Bret sat on one of the deck chairs.
“What did we just do,” Julie said flatly.
Bret lit a cigarette. “I think you know what we just did.”
“I mean… what does it mean?”
He sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Neither do I,” Julie said. “It goes against my better judgment to say
this out loud, but I think this is more than just sex to me.”
Bret didn’t look at her. “It is to me, too,” he said after a
minute. “You have no idea how long it’s
been since I’ve been in any kind of sexual situation that involved conversation
beyond, ‘I can’t believe I’m about to suck Bret Michaels off’.” He chuckled. “Now you know my last name.”
“Probably for the best,” Julie
replied, and waited for him to continue.
“This situation is really fucked
up,” he said. “I mean, it’s probably a
whole lot more fucked up for you, but it’s pretty crazy for me, too. I don’t even remember how to treat a
real girl, for lack of a better way to describe what you are.”
“You’re not doing such a bad job.”
“Thanks, but I don’t know what to do
next any more than you do. I mean, it’s
next to impossible to have a girlfriend in this business.” He put his cigarette out on the cement. “You… she’d always be wondering what I was
doing when I was out on the road.”
“All those groupies.”
“Yeah. They don’t mean anything, but there’s a lot of them. Even if I was completely faithful, why would
any girl believe that the lead singer of a heavy metal band stayed abstinent on
the road? I don’t think I’d buy that.”
Julie lit a cigarette of her
own. “Could you?” she asked, staring
intently at the surface of the water.
“Could I what?”
“Be completely faithful, even out on
the road,” Julie answered.
Bret was silent for a long
time. “Well,” he began.
Just then, Sebastian came bounding
onto the deck. “What, you two went for
a swim without me?”
Julie stifled a laugh. “Actually, we were just…” she trailed off.
“Talking,” Bret put in. “Hey, man, about earlier—“
“Shut up, Michaels,” Sebastian said,
waving him off.
“You seem like you’re in a better
mood,” Julie ventured.
“Actually, I’m hungry. What are you making for me?”
Julie rose to her feet. “My specialty is take-out,” she
responded. “Chinese or Italian?”
“Chinese,” Bret and Sebastian said
simultaneously.
§
Julie finished putting the lo mein
into a bowl and called out for Bret and Sebastian. She felt like a housewife calling her kids to dinner, and laughed
at the idea. One thing she was
definitely thankful for was that these guys weren’t her children.
The three sat down at the
table. “Looks good, Mom,” Sebastian
said, putting a voice to Julie’s thoughts.
“I’d tell you to clear your plate so
you can have dessert,” Julie replied, “but we don’t have any.” Bret and Sebastian exchanged a glance and
smiled. “There will be none of that,”
Julie admonished lightly.
“Terrible pity,” Sebastian
noted.
They ate in silence for a while
before Julie spoke. “So, Bret,” she
began cautiously, “it just occurred to me that I have no idea what you’re doing
here.”
Bret looked at her quizzically. “I’m eating sweet and sour chicken.”
Julie smiled. “No, I mean, what you’re doing here. As in, why are you staying at my father’s
house?”
Bret cleared his throat. “Oh,” he said, and was quiet for a
minute. Sebastian suddenly seemed very
interested in his lo mein. “Well, that’s
kind of a long story, actually.”
“No, it isn’t,” Sebastian said to
his food. Bret shot him a look.
“If you don’t want to talk about it,
it’s cool,” Julie said, sensing that maybe she hadn’t asked the best question.
“No, it’s all right,” Bret said
quickly, still looking at Sebastian, who was still staring intently at his plate. “I’m just having some problems with the rest
of the band.”
“Bret Michaels, picture of mystery,”
Sebastian said. Now he was smiling at
his lo mein.
“Well, since you seem to have the
story so well memorized, why don’t you explain it?” Bret said.
Sebastian finally looked up from his
food and grinned. “With pleasure,” he
said.
“Hey,” Julie interjected, “it’s
really not that important.”
“It’s fine,” Bret said.
“This is a perfect example of why
people use words like ‘sensitive’ when they’re talking about Bret,” Sebastian
said.
“Just tell the short version,” Bret
put in.
“Fine.” Sebastian put his fork down.
“One of the other guys in the band, Bobby, was going out with this
chick. I can’t remember her name.”
“Marcella,” Bret said quietly.
“Right, Marcella. Anyway, I guess Bobby wasn’t real good to
her, and so she’d always show up at Bret’s place,” Sebastian continued.
“You make it sound like I was
fucking her.”
“Do you want to tell this
story?” Without waiting for Bret to
respond, he continued. “Anyway. He wasn’t fucking her, just for the
record. They were just friends. I guess she kind of looked up to him or
something. And one night she showed up
at his place, face all fucked up, hysterical.”
“Bobby hit her?” Julie asked.
“That’s an understatement,” Bret
replied.
“Yeah, he fucked her up pretty
good,” Sebastian agreed. “So she shows
up at Bret’s house, middle of the night, a total mess, and Bret gets her all
cleaned up like a good little nurse,” he ignored the look from Bret, “and then
he tells her to wait there until he gets back.
So he gets in his car and heads over to Bobby’s place.”
“I think I can see where this is
going,” Julie said.
“Yeah. So he totally goes off on Bobby.
His face probably looked worse than Marcella’s by the time Bret was
done.” He paused to take a bite of lo
mein. “So he tells Bobby in no
uncertain terms that his time with Marcella is over and leaves.”
“The guys weren’t really happy about
that,” Bret said. “We couldn’t do much
with a bass player who looked like he got in a bar fight.”
“So the band’s taking a little break
while Bobby’s face heals. And they’re
not exactly speaking to Bret,” Sebastian finished.
“What happened to Marcella?”
“She went back home,” Bret
said. “Bobby doesn’t know where she
went, and I intend to keep it that way.”
He paused. “So now you know my
story.”
“It sounds like you did the right
thing,” Julie said after a minute.
“Maybe not the right thing for the
band,” Bret said.
“Shut up, Michaels,” Sebastian
said. “The band will be fine and you
know it.”
“It doesn’t sound like what happened
had anything to do with the band. You
did the right thing on a personal level, isn’t that more important?”
Bret sighed. “Yeah, of course it is,” he said.
“But don’t tell anybody,” Sebastian
said, grinning. “It would ruin his bad
boy image.”
Bret glanced at Julie. “I’ve probably done a pretty good job of
that already,” he said.
For a few minutes, they continued
eating in silence, until Sebastian spoke. “Listen,” he said. “I’m
supposed to go to this little get-together tonight, and I thought maybe you
guys would want to come along.”
Bret shrugged. “Sure, whatever, if Julie wants to go.” He caught himself. “Uh… I mean, I don’t want to leave her here…” He shoved a forkful of food in his mouth.
“Why not? Sounds like fun,” Julie said quickly, in an effort to save
Bret.
Sebastian just grinned. “Cool, we’ll head over there in a couple of
hours.”
§
Sebastian parked the car. “There doesn’t seem to be a lot of people
here,” Bret said, sounding a little suspicious. Julie wondered why.
“It’s not a very big get-together,”
Sebastian explained, and got out of the car.
Julie and Bret followed him to the
door, and Sebastian knocked. A voice
called out from inside, to which he responded, “It’s Baz! Let me in, asshole!”
The door swung open and a
tough-looking man greeted them. “These
your friends?” he asked Sebastian.
“You bet,” Sebastian answered. “I’m sure you know of Bret, and this is Julie.”
The man gave them a critical
once-over before moving aside to let them into the house. He led them into the living room, where
there were maybe fifteen people sitting down and lying around on various pieces
of furniture. A few of them were on the
floor. One of them, a long-haired guy
with sunglasses holding his hair back, looked up at Julie and mumbled something
that ended in “beautiful”.
Bret put an arm around Julie’s
waist. “Baz,” he said tightly, “what
the fuck is this?”
“Lay off, Casey, she’s spoken for,”
Sebastian said to the guy on the carpet.
Then to Bret, he said, “It’s just a little party, a few friends.”
Just then, a tall man with short
blond hair came into the room. “Baz, my
good man,” he said, “what do you need?”
Sebastian looked flustered. “Just stopping by,” he said, then upon
realizing that Bret was glaring at him, added, “The usual, Roscoe.”
Julie looked at Bret and mouthed
‘Roscoe?’. She thought the name was
very befitting the shady character that stood before them, rather like someone
in a bad movie. Bret just looked angry,
and Roscoe left the room.
Sebastian turned to Bret. “You know how it is,” he ventured.
“No, Baz, I don’t know how it
is,” Bret said thinly. “Why don’t you tell
me how it is in your thick head that you think it’s acceptable to bring Julie
here?”
Julie stiffened. “Hey, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“It is that big of a deal,” Bret
said, still looking at Sebastian. “What
the hell were you thinking?”
“Julie’s a big girl,” Sebastian said. “I’m sure she can hold her own.”
Julie was unsure which gesture she
appreciated more – Bret’s protectiveness, or Sebastian’s faith that she was
indeed experienced enough to handle this; and on the flipside, which made her
more angry. More than either of these
feelings, however, she just wanted to keep this situation from getting out of
hand. “I can,” she said finally. “Really, this isn’t that big of a deal,
guys.”
Bret and Sebastian started at each
other for a moment and Julie found herself thinking about bad Western
films. “Give me your car keys,” Bret
said then.
Sebastian made a noise that might
have been construed as a laugh. “You’re
fucking crazy.”
“If that isn’t the pot calling the
kettle black,” Bret snarled. “Give me
the keys. I’m getting Julie out of
here.”
“Bret, really, it’s okay,” Julie
said, but she knew Bret was past the point of listening to her. She glanced around the room, but no one had
moved.
“Stop the Prince Charming routine,
Michaels,” Sebastian said. “This isn’t
the first time you’ve been in this situation.
Hell, it’s not even the first time some helpless young thing got dragged
into it with you.”
“This isn’t with me,” Bret
said simply. “Are you going to give me
your keys, or what?”
“Fuck no.”
“You’ve got to cool it with this
tough guy bullshit,” Bret said, reaching for Sebastian’s keys.
“Back off, Michaels,” Sebastian
said, and shoved him roughly.
For just a moment, Bret didn’t move,
looking surprised, and Julie thought that might be the end of it. She bit her lip. Then Bret sprang into action, shoving Sebastian just as
roughly. Before Sebastian had the
chance to react, Julie stepped in between them. She turned to face Bret, about to yell something about how
ridiculous they were acting, when suddenly the right side of her face exploded
in pain. She stumbled backwards into
Sebastian, who put his arms around her and held her upright.
It took her a few minutes to figure
out that Bret had just punched her square in the face. For a long time, the three of them just
stood there, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
Through the haze of confusion and pain, Julie still managed to notice
that no one else in the room seemed even remotely interested in what was going
on. “Julie,” Bret said, snapping out of
his surprise, “are you okay? Fuck!”
Julie opened her mouth to speak, but
Sebastian got to it first. “What the
fuck was that, Michaels? You’re hitting
girls now?”
“You know damn well that isn’t how
this happened!” Bret shot back. “If you
hadn’t—“
“Shut the fuck up. We have to get Julie home,” Sebastian said,
already guiding her towards the door.
She thought he sounded genuinely concerned.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do
the whole fucking time!”
“Shut up and come on,” Sebastian
said. “You just fucking decked the
girl.” Then, to Julie he said, kindly,
“Can you open the door?”
Julie was still too dumbfounded to
speak and mechanically opened the front door.
Sebastian began to guide towards the car, Bret just a few steps behind
them. “You fucking bring her here
and now you’re pulling this ‘I care about her’ bullshit?” he asked,
incredulous.
“I didn’t just punch a girl in the face,
Michaels! Now get in the goddamn car,
you’re driving.”
“What? Why the fuck should I drive?”
“Because I am going to sit in
the back with Julie. Just shut the fuck
up and drive the fucking car,” Sebastian said firmly. Julie climbed into the car, still not quite
sure how to respond. Sebastian climbed
in after her, and Bret, looking confused but still angry, took the front seat
and put the keys in the ignition.
§
Julie held a towel full of ice
against her face and just stood looking out the window into the night and
trying to ignore the commotion between Sebastian and Bret. It wasn't working very well.
"If you hadn't been such a
fucking tool back there, this never would have happened," Sebastian
insisted.
“Have you considered that if we
hadn’t been there in the first place, this never would have happened?”
Bret countered.
“Well, excuse me for not knowing that
little pussy-boy Bret couldn’t handle the big scary drug dealer’s house!” He opened the liquor cabinet and pulled out
a bottle of whiskey, from which he took a long swallow.
“You know goddamn well it wasn’t
about that!” He hesitated for a second,
then pulled a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. He glanced at Julie and then poured some down his throat.
“Oh, we’re back on this ‘I’m
protecting the innocent little girl’ bit again?” Sebastian said mockingly.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Julie
said in the direction of the window, then turned to face them. “Shut up already! How long can you two do this?”
“As long as he’s got his fucking
head up his ass,” Bret replied, taking another drink.
Sebastian snorted. “More like as long as Mr. Wonderful over
there is trying to be your knight in shining shredded jeans.”
“What the hell, Baz!” Bret
demanded. “I just didn’t want the poor
girl to have to be in that fucking house!”
“If you didn’t have such a little
fucking puppy crush on her—“
Julie cut in. “Knock it the hell off!”
Bret and Sebastian looked at
her. With a noise that was almost a
growl, Sebastian threw the bottle of whiskey onto the floor. It hit with a dull thud and its contents
began to spill onto the carpet. “Fuck
this noise,” he said and walked out.
Bret and Julie stood, silent, in the
living room a moment longer; Julie watched Bret staring at the overturned
bottle. He took another long swallow
from the bottle of vodka. Without
looking at Julie or saying anything, he followed Sebastian out the door.
Julie stared at the whiskey on the
carpet for a little while longer before crossing the room to retrieve it. With a sigh, she put the cap back on and
put it back in the liquor cabinet, not quite sure what to do next. With both of them gone, she had no way to go
after them, nor was she entirely sure she wanted to. Chances are they weren’t headed in the same direction, and at
this point, Julie had no idea which one she’d chase. Their moods fluctuated so rapidly, and she found herself unable
to keep up.
Tired, Julie climbed the stairs
slowly and went through the motions of taking a long, hot shower. The steam and hot water made her body feel
marginally better, but did nothing to ease her aching mind. She stayed in the shower until the water
turned cold, then purposely took as long as possible getting ready for bed,
hoping that one of them would come back.
Neither of them did, and finally Julie climbed into her father’s bed
alone and went to sleep.
§
Julie’s eyes snapped open, and it
took her a few minutes to realize where she was. The dim light that was coming in through the window told her that
it was just after sunrise, and that she’d only been asleep for three or four
hours. She rolled over to see if Bret
had come in at some point, but the other half of her father’s bed remained as
empty at it had been when she’d fallen asleep.
With a tired sigh, she pulled herself out of bed and headed downstairs,
barefoot in the halflight, to get some water.
Sebastian was facedown on the
couch. At some point he’d either
retrieved the bottle of whiskey from the night before or procured a new one,
which was now laying almost empty on the floor beside him. He didn’t look terribly comfortable, which
Julie assumed meant he’d passed out rather than fallen asleep. She pulled the blanket down from the back of
the couch and threw it over him, deciding that despite the events of a few
hours earlier, she was glad he’d chosen to come back to her house at the end of
the night. She also made a mental note
to tell him at some point that there were quite a few available bedrooms to
sleep in.
Julie continued on her way to the
kitchen, and jumped when she saw Bret sitting at the kitchen table. He was smoking a cigarette, and his bottle
of vodka, now only a third full, was sitting on the table in front of him. “You came back,” she said, for lack of
anything more intelligent to say.
Bret didn’t look at her. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t really have anywhere else to
go. I was planning to have us out of
here by the time you woke up. Didn’t
expect that to be six in the morning.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s fine that you’re here.” Julie got a bottle of water and sat at the
table next to Bret, pulling her knees up to her chest. “I’m actually glad you guys came back.”
Bret snorted. “Why the hell would you be glad we’re back?”
Julie shrugged. “Because you’re mad at each other,” she
said. “I’m not part of it, at least not
directly.” She paused. “I mean, I’m not
mad at anybody.”
“How could you not be?”
“Because nobody did anything to me
on purpose,” Julie said. “Sebastian was
just being Sebastian when he had me come to that guy’s house last night, and
you certainly didn’t intend to punch me in the face.”
Bret winced. “Are you okay? I can’t really see your face in this light.”
“I’m fine,” Julie replied. “It’s just a little swollen. Nothing I won’t get over.”
“I’m really sorry about that,” Bret
said. “I would never hit a girl on
purpose.”
“I know that. It’s really okay.”
“You’re an amazingly forgiving
person,” Bret noted.
“You know, I’m really not,” Julie
responded. “It’s just that in light of
everything that’s been going on this week, I’m just trying to be as calm as
possible.” She paused. “But my face really is okay, and I’m really
not mad at anybody. You two can be the
mad ones.”
“We’re not really mad anymore. Until next time, anyway.”
“What ended up happening tonight?”
Bret sighed and put out his
cigarette. “I really had no intention
of going after his stupid ass,” he said.
“I figured you would… and I’m glad
you did, because I didn’t have the means to go looking for either one of you.”
“And you shouldn’t have to, anyway,”
Bret said. “When I left here, I was
going to just go to the club, but halfway there I realized that I didn’t want
to go.” He paused. “And I realized that I didn’t want Baz to go
where he was going, either.”
“Back to that guy’s house?”
Bret nodded. “So I turned around and drove back over
there, and of course when I got there, he was doped up to all hell on the
couch. Had to yell his name about a
dozen times before he would open his eyes enough to focus on me.” Bret’s expression was pained.
“What’s the attraction?”
“What do you mean?”
“His attraction to heroin,” Julie
clarified.
“I take it you’ve never tried it,”
Bret said. When Julie shook her head,
he continued. “Well, don’t, but if you
ever did, you’d know the answer to that.
It really is that good.”
“So you’ve done it.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t know that many
people in the business who haven’t, but like I said earlier, that bullshit’s
almost entirely behind me now.” He took
a sip from the bottle. “I’m not going
to get on anyone’s case for getting high once in a while, I just don’t want him
to like the stuff too much.
Anyway, once I got him to wake up enough to talk to me, I told him we
had to get out of there.”
“How did he respond to that?”
“Not well,” Bret admitted. “Even on smack he was still pissed off about
earlier tonight, giving me that ‘why should I listen to you’ bullshit, like I’m
his father or something. So, I played
the card that you were probably worried about him.”
Julie smiled a little. “I was worried about both of
you. Did it work?”
“After a little bit of whining,
yeah. Then we came back here, and he
wanted to drink, so I drank with him,” Bret said, motioning to the bottle of
vodka. “But I didn’t have the aid of
dope to put me to sleep, so I’ve been sitting here for the past hour or so.”
“You could have come to bed,” Julie ventured.
“Under the circumstances, I didn’t
think that was such a good idea,” Bret said.
“I kind of figured you’d never want to see me again.”
“Well, you figured wrong,” Julie
said.
“I guess I’m just not used to being
around the kind of people who would be so nice about getting hit in the
face. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Worse things have happened to me, I
promise. I know it wasn’t me you meant
to hit.”
“No, it wasn’t, although I admit
things could have gotten pretty ugly if I’d hit my intended target. As fucked up as this may sound, it might be
for the best that you got in the way of that.”
“It doesn’t sound that fucked up,”
Julie said. “I’m pretty glad you didn’t
end up getting in some kind of brawl with Sebastian.”
“Yeah. That’s only happened a few times, and it’s never been pretty.”
“From the way you two argue, I’d
have thought fistfights would be a pretty regular occurrence.”
Bret shook his head. “Nah.
We try to avoid that kind of shit.”
He didn’t look at her. “It takes
something pretty serious to get one of us to actually raise a hand to the other
one.”
Julie knew exactly what Bret was
saying, but didn’t push the issue. The
sun was coming up a bit more now, and she realized just how tired she still
was. “I want to go back to bed,” she
told him.
“Sure, sorry,” Bret said, “didn’t
mean to keep you up.”
Julie rose to her feet and said,
“You didn’t. You coming with me or
what?”
Bret looked up at her. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “As sure as I can be about anything that’s
gone on lately, anyway.”
“No shit,” Bret agreed, rising to
his feet. He put the cap back on the
bottle of vodka and followed Julie out of the kitchen and upstairs.
“Sebastian’s okay down there,
right?” Julie asked as they climbed into bed.
“Yeah,” Bret said. “He might wake up unhappy, but he’ll wake
up.”
“Don’t you get tired of worrying
about him?”
“Sometimes,” Bret admitted. “Thankfully, it isn’t always my job. But it does get tiresome.”
“Always worrying about your friends,
with no one to worry about you.” Julie
turned on her right side, her back to him.
“Something like that,” Bret agreed.
“Well, I worry about you,” Julie
said quietly. She felt Bret move close
to her and slip his arm around her waist.
Almost without thinking about it, she moved back against him.
“I know. I don’t get it, but it’s kind of nice.”
“I don’t get it, either,” Julie
said. She felt Bret’s hand over hers as
she drifted off to sleep.
§
Julie woke up in the same position, but Bret had rolled over onto
his back at some point while they slept.
She turned over and watched him sleep for a few minutes, then quietly
got up to go downstairs.
Sebastian was sitting up on the
couch with his head in his hands. “You
okay?” Julie ventured.
“Just a little burnt,” Sebastian
replied, not looking up. “I’ll be
fine.”
“Hungry?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Well, I’ll just be in the kitchen,
if you need me.” Julie continued on her
way to the kitchen, where she poured herself a glass of orange juice and lit a
cigarette. “Breakfast of champions,”
she muttered to herself.
A few minutes later Sebastian
dragged himself into the kitchen. “Hi,”
he said sheepishly.
“Hi, sunshine,” Julie said.
“You all right?”
“I’d be willing to wager that I’m
doing better than you are this morning,” Julie replied.
“Are you kidding? This is an easy morning for me,” Sebastian
said. “Seriously, how’s your face?”
“I don’t think I’m going to be
scarred for life or anything. Really,
I’m fine. I’m over it.”
“I guess I owe you an apology.”
“Why, Sebastian, I didn’t know you
had it in you.”
“Don’t tell anybody. Seriously, though, I’m sorry I dragged you
there last night.”
“Well, thanks for the apology, but
I’m really not some porcelain doll that can’t be taken out of its casing,”
Julie replied.
“Try telling Bret that.”
“I’m sure he’ll eventually grow into
the idea.”
Sebastian sat down at the table with
Julie and lit a cigarette of his own.
“Is Prince Charming still asleep?”
Julie nodded. “He didn’t go to bed until around 6:30 or
so. I slept from about 2 to 6 this
morning, so…”
“I probably passed out around
4:30. Can’t really explain why I’m
awake now. What time is it, anyway?”
“About noon,” Julie said. Just then, the phone rang, and they both
jumped a little. “I’d almost forgot we had
a phone.”
“If it’s your dad, don’t tell him
we’re misbehaving.”
Julie laughed and answered the
phone. “Um, who’s calling?” she said
after a minute, and raised her eyebrows at Sebastian. She was silent for a moment before continuing. “Well, actually, he’s sleeping right now… if
it’s important I can wake him up and have him call you back.” Another pause. “Okay, does he have a number to reach you at?… Okay.” Then she hung up.
“For Bret?” Sebastian asked.
Julie nodded. “It was that girl you guys were talking
about earlier.”
“Marcella? She okay?”
Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. She said it was important that Bret call her back.” She paused.
“I guess I should probably go wake him up.”
Sebastian nodded. “If he bothered to give her the number here,
you probably should.”
Julie left the kitchen and headed
for the stairs, ignoring the strange twinge of jealousy she had felt when she’d
heard a female voice asking to talk to Bret.
She choked the thought down, telling herself that she knew
Marcella’s story, and there was nothing to be jealous about. Besides, she had no right being envious,
period.
When Julie got to her father’s
bedroom, she just stood for a moment, watching Bret sleep. He was on his back, the blankets only up to
his waist, one arm above his head.
Julie was momentarily struck by how peaceful he looked, compared to how
troubled so many of his waking hours were.
She wanted to just quietly leave and let him sleep, but she knew that
she had to wake him. Fully entering the
room, she sat on the edge of the bed next to him and put her hand on his chest.
“Bret,” she said softly, then again.
Bret brought his arm down and put
his hand on top of hers, but didn’t open his eyes. Julie sat still for a moment, just looking at their hands, before
saying his name again. This time, he
opened his eyes. “I’m sorry to wake you
up,” Julie began.
Bret yawned. “It’s okay,” he said sleepily. “What’s up?
Are you okay?”
Julie thought it was cute that he
was concerned. “I’m fine,” she
said. “You just got a phone call, and
it sounded important so I thought I’d better wake you up.”
Bret pulled himself into a sitting
position. “Who was it?”
“Marcella,” Julie answered. “She didn’t leave a message of any kind, she
just said that you should call her and that it was important.”
“Did she sound upset?” Bret asked,
obviously concerned.
Julie felt that small twinge of
jealousy again. “I don’t know,” she
replied. “I only talked to her for a
minute, then I came to wake you up as soon as we got off the phone.”
Bret reached for the phone on the
bedside table and dialed a number quickly.
“Thanks,” he said to Julie. Then
into the receiver he said, “Marcella?
It’s Bret.”
Julie decided that it was probably
best that she give Bret his privacy, and anyway, she didn’t particularly want
to hear the conversation. “I’ll be
downstairs if you need me,” she whispered, and left the room.
§
By the time Bret came downstairs,
showered and fully clothed, nearly an hour later, Sebastian and Julie had
gotten into a friendly game of gin at the kitchen table. Sebastian looked up. “You’re wearing a shirt,” he noted.
“What’s the occasion?” Julie asked,
grinning.
“Actually, I’m going to Sacramento,”
Bret answered.
“Marcella,” Sebastian said
knowingly.
Bret nodded. “She sounded really upset on the phone. I’m just going to head out there today and
drive back tomorrow.”
“Is she okay?” Julie asked, although
really, she wasn’t terribly interested in knowing.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Bret
answered. “I think the break-up is
starting to sink in, and she’s just lonely.
I don’t think she’s got that many friends in Sacramento.”
“You’re so noble,” Sebastian
said. Then, to Julie, “Ha! Gin!”
“You asshole,” Julie replied,
sweeping the cards into a pile. She
looked at Bret. “Well, we’ll try to
keep things running without you, but it’s gonna be hard.”
Bret smiled. “I’m sure you can manage.” He looked at Sebastian. “Do I need to worry about your stupid ass?”
Sebastian took the cards from Julie
and began to shuffle them. “Relax,
Michaels,” he said. “I promise I won’t
overdose while you’re away.”
“Or get arrested, or—“
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll be okay here, don’t worry about it.”.
Bret turned to Julie. “You sure it’s okay with you if I just leave
him here with you while I’m gone?”
Julie smiled. “I think I can handle it.” She looked at Sebastian. “You’re housebroken, right?”
“Of course,” he replied,
grinning. “I broke the table, didn’t
I?”
Julie
threw a pen at him and turned back to Bret.
“Seriously, we’ll be okay.
You’ll only be gone one night, right?”
Bret nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “She just sounded really fucked up, and I want to make sure she’s
okay. It’s been a really rough time for
her lately.”
“Bret Michaels, you’re my hero,”
Sebastian said in a singsong voice.
“Are you guys close?” Julie asked,
ignoring Sebastian’s comment.
Bret shrugged. “I guess we’re pretty close,” he
replied. “Although I wish we could have
become friends under better circumstances.”
Julie nodded. “Well, it’s nice that you’re going to take
care of her.” She immediately wished
she’d worded that differently, and a moment of uncomfortable silence passed
between them. “Anyway, we’ll really be
fine here, so don’t worry about us.
Just take care of whatever you need to take care of.”
Bret cleared his throat. “Right,” he said. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
He looked as though he might lean down and kiss her or at least hug her,
but instead he just turned and left.
§
“Want to play again?” Sebastian
asked.
Julie threw her cards down on the
table. “We’ve been playing cards for
the past nine hours,” she said.
“That’s not true. We stopped to eat dinner.”
“Okay, nine hours excluding the half
hour it took to reheat and consume leftover Chinese food,” Julie corrected
herself.
“I take it that’s a no.”
“Yes. I mean, yes, that’s a no.”
“Well, what do you want to do
instead, then?”
Julie shrugged. “I have no idea. Have any suggestions?”
Sebastian grinned at her from across
the table. “Any suggestions on how to
make an evening more interesting? Sure,
I’ve got tons of them.”
Julie raised an eyebrow at him. “I’d rather avoid anything that will leave
me in jail, dead, or extremely hungover in the morning.”
“Well, admittedly, that does rule
out a good number of my ideas,” Sebastian replied, “but I think I may still
have a few tricks up my sleeve.” He
smiled at her. “Come over here.”
“What for?”
“Just come over here,” he insisted.
Julie pulled herself out of her
chair and made her way around the table to where Sebastian was sitting, not
quite sure what to expect. Sebastian
turned his chair so he was facing her.
“Okay, I’m over here,” Julie said.
“Now what?” Sebastian put his
arms around Julie’s waist and pulled her down so she was straddling his
lap. “What are you doing?” she asked
him.
“Making the night less dull,”
Sebastian replied.
“Perhaps I should have laid down
some further guidelines,” Julie said, but even as she spoke she was leaning
down to kiss him. She kissed him
insistently, as though what they were doing was very urgent.
When the kiss broke, Sebastian
looked up at her. “I don’t know what
guidelines we could possibly need,” he said as he peeled his shirt off.
Julie looked down at his blond hair
spilling over his sleek chest and felt a shiver run through her. She knew that she shouldn’t do this, that
she should stop herself, but she also knew that wasn’t going to happen. Sebastian rose to his feet and lifted her
onto the table. “Did you really think I
wouldn’t take advantage of the fact that I have you alone?” he asked breathily,
pulling Julie’s shirt over her head.
“I was hoping you would,” Julie
admitted. She leaned forward to kiss
Sebastian’s chest, and he made a noise deep in his throat.
Sebastian took a handful of her hair
and tugged, almost enough to really hurt.
“There’s something about the way you touch me,” he said, almost too
quietly for her to hear. He kissed her
neck, and Julie moaned as she reached down to unbutton his jeans.
§
“That was…” Sebastian began as Julie
rolled off of him.
“Yeah,” Julie agreed, cutting him
off before he had a chance to finish his thought. “It was.”
“I think I pulled something
important,” he said, sitting up. “I
can’t remember the last time I had sex on a kitchen table.”
“I would think that’s the sort of
thing you do all the time.”
“Kitchen tables? Nah, we’re never at anybody’s house long
enough.”
Just then, the front door slammed
shut. “Fuck!” Julie exclaimed,
scrambling for her clothes. She had one
leg of her jeans on before Bret walked into the kitchen.
For a long moment, everyone remained
still. Bret’s mouth was partially open
as though he was about to speak.
Sebastian had managed to get his pants all the way on, and Julie found
herself thinking that under any other circumstances, she’d fall over if she
tried to balance herself the way she was right now. Finally, Bret just said, “Sorry,” and left the room.
Julie finished pulling her jeans on
and turned to Sebastian. “Fuck,” she
repeated, almost questioningly.
“I specifically remember him saying
that he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow,” Sebastian noted. Seeing that Julie looked genuinely upset, he
said, “Okay, okay, I’ll go talk to him.”
He climbed off the table and headed into the living room.
Bret was sitting on the couch,
smoking a cigarette, and Sebastian flopped down next to him. Without addressing him, Bret handed
Sebastian a cigarette, which he lit, and they puffed in silence. Finally, Bret spoke. “I went out there today because I thought
Marcy really needed me.”
“And?”
“Well, when I first got there,
everything was cool. We talked for a
while. She’s looking a lot better, and
she’s managed to keep herself from calling Bobby. Then after dinner, everything just went to shit.”
“How so?”
“Well, apparently she didn’t think
it was just a social call,” Bret said.
“Marcy tried to fuck you?”
“Yep.”
“And you turned her down?”
“Yep.”
“What
the hell, Michaels? That chick is
gorgeous.”
“She is,” Bret agreed.
“You’ve wanted to fuck her since the
first time Bobby brought her around!”
“I did.”
“And so now she splits up with
Bobby, and tries to get on you, and you say no?”
“You got it.”
“No, I don’t get it.” He took a long drag on his cigarette. “Is it because it would fuck things up with
the band?”
“Not really. Things are already pretty damn fucked up
with the band.”
“Is it because she’s got herpes?”
“I’m not even going to justify that
with a response, Baz.”
They sat for a few moments in
silence. “Is it because of Julie?”
Sebastian asked finally.
Bret rose to his feet and began to
pace the room. “I don’t know. Maybe it is. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with her. Or with me where she’s concerned.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you
get worked up over a girl.”
“Not since high school,” Bret
agreed. “I know I shouldn’t be doing
this shit, but… I don’t know.”
“This is dangerous stomping ground,
Michaels.”
“No shit.”
Julie poked her head in. “You guys were really quiet,” she said
timidly. “I just wanted to make sure
you hadn’t killed each other.”
“Surprisingly enough, we haven’t,”
Bret said flatly.
“Why don’t I make us some coffee?”
Julie suggested, desperately trying to make things at least slightly less
weird. She went into the kitchen
without waiting for a response, and the guys followed her.
“I’m really not sure exactly what to
say,” Julie said as she went about making some coffee.
“Me neither,” Bret agreed. “Baz?”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Caffiene’s not a real drug. I think I’m going to go buy some
alcohol. Don’t you think we need some
alcohol?” Without waiting for a
response, he ducked out.
“Doesn’t he realize that liquor
stores are closed at this time of night?”
“I’d be happy for the guy if he
realized that it was night,” Bret replied. The doorbell rang, and he looked at Julie quizzically. “Were you expecting anyone?”
Julie shook her head. “No one ever shows up here. It’s probably Sam,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”
Julie pulled her hair back behind
her shoulders as she crossed the living room, preparing herself to tell Sam
once again that she was currently unwelcome.
She tugged the front door open, mouth already open to rip into her
friend, and a tall girl with long brown hair pushed her way into the
house. “Where the fuck is he?” she
demanded.
“Uh,” Julie said.
“I said, where the fuck is
he?!”
She looked the girl over. She was a good two inches taller than Julie,
with dark curly hair that hung to the middle of her back, and she wasn’t
wearing very much. “Who?” Julie asked.
“Bret. Where the fuck is Bret?”
The girl’s voice was getting louder.
“Uh,” Julie said again, really not
quite sure how to handle such a situation.
“Marcella!” Bret said, coming into
the room.
“Oh,” Julie said.
“What are you doing here?” Bret
asked.
“What am I doing here?”
Marcella scoffed. “What the fuck is the
deal with that shit you pulled earlier?
You fucking split me and Bobby up—“
“Time out.” Bret turned to Julie. “Could you excuse us, just for a little
while?”
The last thing Julie wanted to do
was to leave Bret alone with this obviously unhappy and potentially unstable
woman, and more than that, she really wanted to know exactly what shit Bret had
pulled with her earlier. However, she
knew that it was really none of her business.
“Sure,” she said, “I’ll just be in the kitchen.”
“Thank you,” Bret said.
Julie walked out of the room, but
found herself stopping in the shadows of the dining room, just close enough to
hear whatever conversation Bret and Marcella were having. She tried to convince herself to keep
walking, but her body refused to listen to her and stayed rooted to where it
was.
“Marcy,” she heard Bret say, “you
know I didn’t break you and Bobby up. I
resent the fact that you’d even say something like that.”
“Fine,” Marcella said, her voice
shrill. “But I don’t get you! Why the fuck would you drive all the way out
there when you don’t want anything to do with me?!”
“It isn’t like that,” Bret
said. “You know I love you.” Julie bit her lip.
“Then why did you leave?” Marcella
demanded.
“I love you as a friend,”
Bret said. “You know that, you know how
much you mean to me. But I couldn’t sleep
with you, Marcella. I can’t.”
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
“I can’t. You’re a beautiful girl, but I just can’t.”
“What
the hell is your deal?”
“Calm
down, Marcella. I came out there today
to see if you were all right, I didn’t come out there to fuck you.”
“Why not?”
Bret was silent for a moment before
speaking. “Marcella, that girl who
answered the door… there’s just something about her. I don’t know what it is.
I haven’t felt this way in a long time, I didn’t even know I could
feel this way anymore. I thought that
part of me died a long time ago.”
“What? You like her? How
can you feel so strongly about some little girl you barely even know?”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. She’s just… she isn’t like the other chicks
I meet, you know? She doesn’t even know
what band I’m in.”
“How is that a good thing? Does the girl live under a rock? I never would have gotten anywhere near
Bobby if I didn’t know who he was first.”
“That’s the sort of thing that turns
Bobby on,” Bret said. “Girls who want
him for what he is, it’s all a power trip with him – in case the fact that he
beat the living shit out of you didn’t make that clear enough. That isn’t what I want.”
“So you really like this girl?”
“Yeah. I do.” He paused. “I don’t think it’s just me, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have a feeling that Baz likes
her, too,” he replied. “I mean, with
Baz you can never be too sure of these things, but it seems that way.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I have no idea. I just know that I really don’t want to fuck
this up.”
“You know, Bret, sometimes I think
the line between reality and your stage presence is a little blurry.”
Julie heard the front door open, and
before waiting to see what happened next, she turned and went back into the
kitchen. She stood there for a moment
before taking the back staircase up to her bedroom, where she collapsed onto
her bed, her mind racing. The
conversation she had just heard had completely changed everything. She’d already known that Bret thought of her
as more than just another casual conquest, but this was more than she could
possibly have imagined. From what the
conversation had sounded like, a gorgeous girl that Bret had known for a long
time had basically thrown herself at him, and Bret had turned her down because
his feelings for Julie were too strong.
The idea was almost too much to bear.
And what would happen now?
They’d already talked about how it would be next to impossible to
maintain any sort of actual relationship, what with Bret being on the road with
his band so often. But now that he’d
already inadvertently proven himself able to resist temptation… and what of
Sebastian? She’d just slept with him
for the second time only a few hours before.
Things with him were more physical, more animalistic, whereas with Bret
they were more emotional.
“Can I come in?” came Sebastian’s
voice from the doorway. Without waiting
for a response, he entered the room.
“Marcella’s down there. I don’t
want any part of that.” He sat on the
edge of the bed.
“I guess he doesn’t, either,” Julie
said.
“What do you mean?”
Julie looked at him. “Can I have a serious talk with you, without
you being all… you?”
Sebastian laughed. “Well, I can try, but I’ve always been me.”
“I listened in on their conversation
downstairs,” Julie said.
“And?”
“And I guess when Bret went to see
Marcella, she tried to seduce him.”
Sebastian nodded. “That’s what we were talking about when you
decided that we needed coffee.”
“Well, he told her that the reason
he couldn’t sleep with her is because he has all kinds of feelings for me and
he doesn’t know what to do with them, but he doesn’t want to fuck it up. Whatever that means.”
“Lightly put, he’s really fucking
into you.”
Julie sighed. “I think I’m really into him, too,” she
admitted after a minute.
“I guess this means no more sex on
your kitchen table.”
“Sebastian, this is serious.”
“I know, I know,” Sebastian said,
running a hand through his hair.
“Seriously, you guys were made for each other. You look gorgeous together and your personalities oddly
complement each other. But this is a
crazy idea, and it’s going to be a mess, so don’t ever say I didn’t warn
you.” He paused. “And you know, if anything goes wrong…
anyway, I’m just going to go get Bret.”
§
“Hi,” Bret said sheepishly, coming
into Julie’s room.
“Hi.”
“Baz said it was important that I
get up here. What’s up?”
“I had a feeling he wouldn’t give
you any sort of hint.”
“It would take all the fun out of it
for him,” Bret agreed.
Julie motioned for Bret to sit on
the bed, which he did. “Listen,” she
began, “I heard you talking to Marcella earlier.”
Bret looked down. “Oh.”
“And I was thinking about what you
said,” she continued. “Did you really
mean everything you said to her, or was that just your way of telling her you
weren’t going to sleep with her?”
Bret was quiet for a minute, then
looked up at Julie. “If I just wanted
to turn her down, there were easier ways to do it.”
“So you meant it?” Julie repeated,
forcing him to answer her.
“Yeah. I meant it.” He
sighed. “But that doesn’t mean that I
know what I’m talking about.”
“I know,” Julie said. “I don’t know
what’s going on in my head either, but I’m pretty sure I feel the same way
about you.”
“Do you realize what we’re talking
about here, Julie? We talked about how
hard it would be for the two of us to maintain a relationship.”
“Would it be so hard?” Julie
asked. “Or are we just trying to talk
ourselves out of something?”
“Maybe we are,” Bret agreed, “but
I’d be lying if I said it would be easy.
I’m on the road three quarters of the year. I mean, I can bring anyone I want on the road with me, but that’s
not realistic. You’d hate it.”
“You’re right, I would, but that
doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it sometimes.
You have to make sacrifices.”
Bret nodded. “But they’d be some major sacrifices. The road is no fun, especially for someone
who doesn’t want to be there. It gets
pretty ugly out there, and you’d spend a lot of time just sitting in a hotel or
on the tour bus.” He sighed. “And besides, what about when you’re
home? You’re a gorgeous girl, you could
get a ton of guys.”
Julie snorted. “If I was interested in that sort of thing,
don’t you think I’d have been out on dates while you guys were here? Or that I’d have a boyfriend?”
“I guess you have a point,” Bret
said. “But then… why me?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know why I feel like this anymore
than you do. I just agree with you –
that I would regret it if I just ignored the way I felt, and didn’t do anything
about any of this.”
“I can’t promise you that this will
work,” Bret said. “I can’t say that
this will be easy, or that it’s the right idea, or that I’ll be good at
it. I can’t say that you won’t hate me
in six months.”
“I can’t promise any of those
things, either. If people could make
those kind of promises, no one would ever break up.” She was quiet for a minute.
“But why would you want to give up all of those girls you meet when
you’re out there, for just one girl you couldn’t be with all the time?”
“Have you ever heard the phrase
‘quality, not quantity’?” Bret asked.
He didn’t wait for a response.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I think so. I think it’s the only thing in any of this
that I’m even remotely sure of.”
Bret leaned forward and wrapped his
arms around her. “I guess it’s worth a
shot,” he said, and kissed her.
§
Julie glanced at her watch and
cursed under her breath. Her plane had
landed nearly three hours late, and by this point Bret was likely already
onstage. They had planned to meet at
the hotel before the show, but now Julie guessed she was going to have to go to
the venue and sit through part of the concert.
It wasn’t so much that she minded doing that – Bret’s band had begun to
grow on her over the past six months, but she had wanted to see him alone
beforehand.
She took a taxi to the hotel and
took her time putting her clothes away and getting dressed. When she had nothing left to do, she took
another cab to the venue, some club called the Baltic Room. With a sigh, Julie paid the driver and
walked up the steps to the front door, where she was immediately stopped. “Show started forty minutes ago,” the guy at
the door said gruffly. “Do you have a
ticket?”
Julie was getting tired of this
routine. “I’m on the list,” she told
him. “Julie Kinsington.”
He looked over the list, and upon
realizing who she was, his attitude changed.
“Certainly, Miss Kinsington,” he said, stepping aside. “Just tell the guys inside your name and
that you’re here with the band, and they’ll get you whatever you need.”
Julie thanked him and stepped inside
the dark, smoky club. One thing she
could be thankful for was that Bret always saw to it that she was treated well
at whatever concerts she made it to, if she didn’t arrive with the band. This venue was nicer than many of the ones
she’d been at; it was a smaller, more comfortable atmosphere, with a bar and a
restaurant. She lingered near the back
of the room and ordered a daiquiri from a passing waitress. Once she had her drink, Julie made her way
to the front of the club, dropping her name when necessary. She still wasn’t used to getting her way
just because of who she was, and she once again found herself momentarily reeling
from everything that had happened.
Sometimes she still couldn’t even believe that she was even dating Bret.
“Do you have a backstage pass?”
Julie was jarred out of her reverie
by a short, balding man who was blocking the entrance to the off-limits area of
the club. Without answering him out
loud, she dug around in her purse until she managed to locate her ID, which she
handed to him. “I’m with the singer,”
she said then. The guy looked at her ID
and then at his clipboard, nodded, and swung the door open. Julie forced a smile and slipped past him.
This wasn’t a concert hall or arena,
so there were no dressing rooms, just a room with a few couches, a table, and a
fridge. Julie tossed her coat and purse
onto one of the couches and flopped down on the other one, then lit a
cigarette. The clock on the wall told
her that it was nearly 11:00, and that meant that the band was probably already
doing their encore and would be done soon.
If nothing else, that was a slight relief. She picked up a magazine and idly flipped through it, not really
reading anything.
Sure enough, a few minutes later she
heard Bret’s muffled voice screaming his thanks to the audience. She tossed the magazine back on the table
and ran a hand through her hair, and a moment later the door flung open.
“Hey, Jules!” Rikki, the band’s drummer, grabbed Julie and
hugged her. “I didn’t know if you were
gonna make it tonight.”
“My plane got delayed,” Julie
explained as the other band members began coming in. She gave them each a hug.
A moment later, Bret came in, sweaty
and looking tired. He smiled when he
saw her and pulled her close to kiss her.
When the kiss broke, he said, “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
“I could say the same about you,”
Julie agreed. “Sorry I wasn’t here
earlier. I swear airlines can’t do
anything right.”
“It’s okay,” Bret said. “Get settled in all right?”
Julie nodded. “I stopped at the hotel and unpacked before
I came over here. I’ve only been here a
few minutes.”
“That’s good. No one gave you any shit, right?”
Julie smiled. He was always looking out for her. “Everything was fine,” she said. “You wanna get out of here?”
Bret sighed. “Unfortunately, I can’t just yet. We’ve got to do some kind of bullshit meet
and greet in a little while.”
“Don’t they usually do that before
the show?”
“You’d think so,” Bret said. “But hell, if they want us tired and sweaty,
who am I to argue?” He grabbed a bottle
of water from the fridge and took a long drink. “Anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to stick around for this,
although I’m sure there’s quite a few fans out there who would die to get close
to you.” He winked.
She raised an eyebrow. “No, thank you. Where do you want to meet?”
Bret thought for a moment. “There’s a bar about three blocks from here,
called the Golden Triangle,” he said.
“I’ll have our driver take you there, if that’s cool.”
Julie nodded. “That’s fine. How long do you think you’ll be?”
“I really don’t know,” Bret
replied. “Maybe an hour, hour and a
half.” He leaned in to kiss her
again. “You’ll be okay, right?”
“I think I can handle it. This isn’t a first for me anymore.”
Bret smiled. “I know, I know, I just feel bad leaving you
out there by yourself.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in a little while.”
§
Julie took a seat at the bar and lit
a cigarette, then motioned for the bartender.
“Electric lemonade.”
“You got some ID?”
Julie sighed. “No, I don’t.”
“Then I’m afraid I can’t serve you,
miss.”
“It’s been a long night, and I just
want a drink.”
“I’m sorry, miss.”
“Give the lady a drink,” came a
voice from behind Julie. She closed her
eyes and sighed, prepared to tell whatever mid-forties bachelor had just spoken
that she wasn’t there alone.
“Right away, sir,” the bartender
said, and went to prepare the drink.
Julie stared after the bartender for
a minute, not quite sure what had just happened. Then she felt a hand on her arm.
“If it isn’t little miss Julie
Kinsington.”
Julie looked up. “Sebastian!” she cried, jumping to her feet
to hug the tall singer. “What the hell
are you doing here?”
“I might ask the same of you,”
Sebastian replied, hugging Julie tightly.
The bartender set Julie’s drink in front of her. “Come on,” Sebastian said, “let’s get a
table.” He led her to a table near the
back.
“So, seriously,” Julie said, sipping
her drink. “What brings you to
Seattle?”
“We played a show here last night,”
Sebastian replied. “I just haven’t
gotten around to leaving yet. Your
turn.”
“Band’s in town tonight and the next
two days.”
“I probably could have figured that
out on my own.”
“Probably. I’m surprised you didn’t already know.”
Sebastian shrugged. “I’m doing the same thing he’s doing. We don’t always know what the other one’s up
to.” He took a sip of his drink. “Speaking of which, what have you guys been
up to? I haven’t heard from Bret in
ages, and I haven’t heard from you at all,” he said pointedly.
“Hey,” Julie said, “it’s not as if I
knew how to get in touch with you. You
just kind of took off, as I recall.”
Julie took a sip of her drink and thought back to the last night she’d
seen Sebastian. Both he and Bret had
been planning to leave the next morning, two days before Julie’s father came
home. They’d been there nearly a month
by that point, and had both pushed off business obligations as long as they
could. The plan was that they’d go to
breakfast together and say their goodbyes, at least for the time being, but
when Bret and Julie had woken up, Sebastian was gone. They’d been surprised, although in retrospect Julie thought
Sebastian had been acting a little odd for the week or so leading up to his
sudden departure.
Sebastian cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said, obviously not wanting to
discuss the matter. “So what have I missed
over the past six months?”
Julie sighed. “A lot, I guess, but in some ways, not
much.” She lit a cigarette. “Bret’s been touring almost non-stop, so
I’ve been spending a lot of time on planes or on the tour bus – which, I might
add, smells like a cross between a bar and a locker room.”
Sebastian laughed. “I had a feeling touring with the band
wouldn’t exactly be your scene.”
“Admittedly, it isn’t, but I guess
we all have to make sacrifices. Bret
was at the house a few times, but never for more than two or three days at a
stretch. He’s running himself pretty
ragged.”
“I know the feeling. Thankfully, this was the last stop on our
tour.”
Julie nodded. “Yeah, only a few more days til Bret’s is
over, too, thank god.”
“What happens after that?”
“I’m not sure. I guess maybe we’ll go home for a
while.” She paused. “Home being a relative term.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Sebastian
said, and did. After a moment he spoke
again. “How are things with you two?”
“Good,” she replied. “I mean, as good as things can be, given our
lifestyle.”
“I have to admit, I didn’t think you
guys would get to six months. Well, I
didn’t think he would get to six months.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,”
Julie said, laughing. She pushed aside
the thought that Sebastian didn’t seem to be joking. “I know what you mean, though.
There are times that neither one of us is sure that what we’re doing is
possible, but somehow we just keep doing it.”
“Well… good for you guys,” Sebastian
said.
“Yeah. What about you? Any lucky
ladies?”
“Every night,” Sebastian replied,
grinning. “If you mean anything
longterm, no. Who has the time?” He paused.
“Well, I mean… I don’t have the stamina Bret has, I guess.”
“I don’t think Bret has the
stamina Bret has,” Julie said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,
like I said, he’s just been running himself ragged. Between touring and recording and our relationship, he just never
has any time to relax. He’s tired and
sick all the time.” She took a sip of
her drink. “He’s just not taking care
of himself like he should be.”
“I don’t think Bret has ever taken
care of himself the way he should,” Sebastian said. “He’s always managed to get by, though.”
“I know,” Julie said. “I’m just worried about him. There’s only so much one man can handle.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“I am surprised. I’m not even in the band and I can barely
handle everything.”
“You get used to it after a while,”
Sebastian said. “Although I don’t know
if I’d be able to stand it if I wasn’t out there on stage and getting paid for
it.” He paused. “Seriously, though, try not to worry too
much about it. Bret always comes out on
the other side.”
“The other side of what?” Bret said,
walking up to the table. Without
waiting for a response, he continued.
“Baz, you asshole! What the fuck
are you doing here?”
Sebastian rose to his feet and they
hugged. “Someone told me there was a
hot chick at this bar,” he responded, grinning.
“And here I am,” Bret said,
laughing. He ordered a drink from a
passing waitress and they sat down.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said to Julie, leaning over to give her a quick kiss
before turning his attention back to Sebastian. “I take it you played here.”
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, last night. Last stop on the tour. I
guess you have what, two more shows?”
The waitress set Bret’s drink in
front of him and he took a long swallow.
“Yep. I have to admit, though
it’s been fun, I’m glad this tour is finally winding down. Three months is a hell of a long time to be
on the road.”
Sebastian snorted. “What the fuck is that attitude? You love this shit!”
“I do,” Bret agreed, “but I’m
tired. Got other things to focus on.”
“I knew this girl was going to turn
you into a fucking pussy.”
“Hey,” Julie admonished
lightly. “This whole mess isn’t my
fault.”
“You’re right,” Sebastian said. “I suppose technically you owe all of this
to Bobby.”
Bret laughed. “You know, I never thought I’d be thankful
that Bobby was such a violent asshole.”
He took another sip of his drink.
“So, how long are you going to be in town?”
Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t know, a few days, I guess. The guys wanted to hit the town. What about you? Sticking around after the shows?”
“Nah, we’re out of here Monday
morning. I’ve seen enough of this place.”
“I take it you two are heading back
to San Francisco?”
Bret nodded. “Yeah, we usually stay at Julie’s dad’s
house when we’re not on the road.”
Sebastian looked at Julie. “Speaking
of your father, he must love that you’re dating Bret.”
Julie laughed. “Well, at first, he really wasn’t
happy. I mean, the man knows the
kind of shit you guys do. He’s pretty
used to the idea now, though.”
“I don’t think I’d let my daughter
date one of us,” Sebastian said.
“Fuck no,” Bret agreed, and finished
his drink.
Sebastian finished his as well. “Why don’t we go back to my hotel and do
some more catching up?” he suggested.
Bret yawned. “I’m actually kind of tired,” he said. “If it’s okay with Julie, I’d kind of like
to just get back to our hotel and get some sleep.”
Julie nodded. “I’m rather worn out from the trip
myself.” She put her cigarette
out. “But you’ll be in town for a
couple of days, right, Sebastian?”
Sebastian cleared his throat and
nodded. “Yeah, at least.”
“Well, I probably won’t be going to
both of Bret’s shows. Why don’t you
give me the number for your hotel and I’ll give you a call?”
“Yeah,” Bret said, “and maybe we’ll
get a chance to all get together before we head back to California.”
“Okay,” Sebastian said. He asked one of the waitresses for a pen and
scribbled his number on a napkin, which he handed to Julie. “I’d really like to see you guys again
before you go back,” he said, his eyes fixed on Julie.
“Definitely,” Bret said, “and if
not, you’re always welcome to come see us back at home.”
“Sure,” Julie agreed, and rose to
her feet. The guys followed her lead.
Julie and Bret each gave Sebastian a
hug. “Give me a call tomorrow or
whatever,” Sebastian said. Then he
turned to Bret. “Don’t work too hard, man,
all right?”
Bret nodded. “Sure, you, too. It was good seeing you again.”
§
Once they were back at the hotel,
Bret immediately grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the refrigerator and took a
deep swallow. Julie frowned. “I see the bottle’s still your best friend on the road.”
Bret sat down on the edge of the
bed. “Better Mr. Daniels than Miss
Loose Groupie, don’t you agree?”
Julie sighed. “I just wish you were taking better care of
yourself, that’s all.”
“I’m fine,” Bret said, taking another
drink from the bottle. “Don’t worry
about me. I’ve been doing this for
years.”
“And I’d like you to be able to keep
doing this for years,” Julie retorted, and kissed him lightly on the
neck.
Bret smiled. “I intend to,” he said.
Julie flopped onto the bed. “Seriously, love, are you doing all
right? You seem so tired every time I
see you.”
“I am tired every time you
see me,” Bret agreed. “I’m not exactly
in a relaxing business.”
“I know. I just worry about you.
Have you been taking care of yourself?”
“As best I can,” Bret assured
her.
“I suppose I can’t ask for anything
other than that.” She sighed. “You know how I am. It drives me insane when I’m not around to
make sure you’re behaving yourself.”
Bret laughed. “You make the rules pretty stiff, but I’ve
been following them, for the most part.”
“For the most part?”
“Yeah. I’ve only had sex with maybe five groupies this entire tour.”
Julie smacked him in the back of the
head. “Real nice, Bret.”
He laughed. “You know I’m only kidding.”
Julie yawned. “Think you’re tired enough to go to bed?”
“Maybe,” Bret said, grinning at her.
“What do you mean, ‘maybe’? Did you have something else in mind?”
Bret’s grin widened. “Of course I did,” he replied, wrapping his
arms around her and pulling her close.
Julie kissed him. “Oh, so is that what you meant when
you told Sebastian you were too tired to hang out?”
“Hey, I love the guy, but I’d rather
go to bed with you,” Bret said as he pulled Julie’s shirt over her head.
“I suppose I can forgive you for
that,” she said, closing her eyes.
§
Julie flipped off the television and
sighed. It had been over a month since
she’d last met up with Bret during a tour, and she’d forgotten how painfully
boring it could be to be stuck in a hotel room alone. She’d spent the morning and afternoon with Bret, mostly in bed,
but eventually he had to go get ready for his show, and Julie had decided not
to go to this one. At least at this
point, she thought, they’d been together long enough that she didn’t feel
obligated to go watch every single concert.
At first, she’d gone to every show she could get to, but after a while
they’d both agreed that it wasn’t necessary.
Not only did she know every single one of their songs by heart, but a
lot of the male fans kept a close on eye on her, and she didn’t like the
publicity as much as the band did. She
still found it impossibly weird to occasionally see her face in magazines. Still, though, she tried to make it out to
see him whenever possible. They saw
each other as often as they could, but it was rare that Bret had the time to
come to see her, so she found herself traveling all over the place. Mostly she just saw his shows on the West
coast, but she’d been all over the country, and had even gone with him to tour
Europe. Sometimes she had no idea how
he managed to do it all.
Then there were nights like tonight,
alone in a hotel room, when Julie was so bored she couldn’t stand it. She wasn’t the type of person to hit the
town by herself, and anyway, Bret wouldn’t have it. Julie Kinsington was becoming a relatively well-known name, and
people would likely recognize her, especially in a town where the band was
playing.
Suddenly, Julie remembered that
Sebastian had given her the phone number to his hotel the previous night. She rummaged around in her purse until she
found the napkin, and dialed. After a
few rings, Sebastian picked up.
“Sebastian? It’s Julie.”
“Hey, babe,” he replied. “What’s going on?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
“Shouldn’t you be watching the show
by now?”
“Nah, I’m not going. I’ll catch the one tomorrow night. What are you doing?”
“Honestly? Drinking and watching the free porn on the hotel TV.”
Julie laughed. “Sounds like a busy night.”
“That depends on your definition of
‘busy’, I guess,” Sebastian said. “So,
to what do I owe the honor of your phone call?”
“Well, I was going to see if you
wanted to do something,” Julie said, “but if you’d rather stay there with your
naked women…”
Sebastian laughed. “Jules, even if they were real naked
women, I’d still ditch them to come see you.
What hotel are you staying at?”
“Hotel Vintage Park, room 22. You know where it is?”
“Yeah, I’m only a few miles from
there. How about I head over there and
then maybe we can get something to eat or whatever?”
“That sounds good,” Julie said. “I guess I’ll see you in a few minutes
then.”
“Yep,” Sebastian said and hung up.
Julie put the phone back in its
cradle and sat for a moment, trying to decide exactly what to wear for a dinner
date with Sebastian. It occurred to her
that maybe she should have asked what type of place he had in mind, but she
decided that with Sebastian, they probably wouldn’t be going anywhere black-tie. She rose to her feet, walked to the dresser
and rummaged through the drawers. After
a few minutes, she decided on a dark red tanktop and black jeans. Only after looking at her reflection in the
mirror did she realize it was the same outfit she’d worn the night she’d first
slept with Sebastian.
Julie pushed the idea from her head
and went into the bathroom, where she brushed her hair and began to apply
makeup. Halfway through putting on
eyeliner, the phone rang loudly, causing her to jump. She pressed the speakerphone button and said, “Yes?”
“Yes, ma’am, there’s a Mr. Bach
downstairs who would like to see you.”
“Send him up,” Julie instructed the
woman on the phone.
“Certainly, ma’am.” The line went dead and Julie went back to
applying her makeup.
A moment later, she heard the door
to the room open. “Jules?”
“I’m in the bathroom,” Julie called
out. “Come on in, I’m decent.”
Sebastian came to the door and
leaned against the frame. “Too bad,” he
said, grinning.
Julie made a ‘tsk’ noise at
him. “I’ll just be a minute,” she
said. “Help yourself to a drink.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”
Julie finished putting her mascara
on and came out of the bathroom.
Sebastian was standing by the bar with a glass of vodka in his hand, and
for a moment, they just looked at each other.
The light in the bar the night before had been dim, and Julie hadn’t
gotten a good look at him. She’d
forgotten how intense Sebastian looked.
He was incredibly tall and lean, and the tight leather pants he had on
only served to seemingly lengthen his long legs. His hair, now a lighter shade of blond than it had been, had
grown and cascaded down over his shoulders.
Julie found herself thinking of jungle cats for the first time in
ages. She also couldn’t help but notice
the way he looked at her; his blue eyes were piercing and the word ‘thirsty’
came to her mind.
Julie bit the inside of her cheek
hard and forced herself to stop staring.
“Still going straight for the Absolut, I see,” she said lamely.
Sebastian smiled. “Nothing but the best for us rock
stars.” He put the glass down and
crossed the room. “It’s really good to
see you.” He wrapped his arms around
her and hugged her tightly.
For a moment, Julie closed her eyes
and let Sebastian hold her. She pressed
her face into his chest and breathed in the scent of his hair, a smell that she
had never quite forgotten. Smoke,
shampoo, and boy. After six months of
dealing with sold-out arenas and paparazzi, and worrying about Bret’s health,
it felt good to collapse against Sebastian. For just a few seconds, his strong embrace made her forget about
everything that had happened, and made everything seem okay. “I missed you,” she said into his shirt.
Sebastian put a hand on the back of
Julie’s head. “You, too, kid,” he said
softly.
Julie found herself not quite sure
what she was feeling. Being here with
Sebastian gave her an odd sense of coming home. It took her a minute to get up the nerve to ask the question that
had been tugging at the back of her mind for months. “Sebastian,” she said quietly, “why did you leave?”
Sebastian stiffened and pulled away
from Julie. He ran a hand through his
hair. “You know how it is,” he said
after a minute.
Julie looked at the floor. “Actually, I don’t.”
Sebastian sighed. “Julie, we don’t need to talk about this.”
Julie sat on the edge of the
bed. “Why don’t we need to talk about
it?”
“Because we all have enough shit to
deal with, don’t you think?” He lit a
cigarette.
“I don’t know what you’re talking
about,” Julie said, confused. “I mean,
yes, there’s a lot of shit to deal with, but…”
She trailed off.
“Look,” Sebastian said, “I just had
to go. You know?”
“No, Sebastian, I really don’t,”
Julie insisted. “We woke up to go to
breakfast with you and you had just taken off in the middle of the night! I have no idea what went through your
head.”
“Fuck, Jules, how often do you think
I know what goes through my head?
I mean, besides a few bottles of Jack Daniels and an eightball or two.”
“This may come as a surprise to you,”
Julie said, “but for the past six months, I’ve been wondering what the hell I
did to you that would make you just run off like that.”
Sebastian looked down at her. “Do you really think that? That you did something to make me leave?”
“Didn’t I?”
“No!” Sebastian said
emphatically. “Christ, Jules, you
didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then what?”
Sebastian was clearly
frustrated. “Sometimes, you just have
to leave, Julie, sometimes…”
“Sometimes what?” Julie was beginning to get frustrated
herself.
“Sometimes you just can’t stay in a
situation!”
“Why not?”
“Fucking Christ, Julie! Don’t you get it? I had to leave! There
wasn’t room, even in that monstrous fucking house of yours, for two men who
were in love with you!”
Julie felt as though someone had
just punched her in the stomach. Of all
the things she might have imagined Sebastian would say, what he’d actually said
hadn’t even crossed her mind. “What?”
she said after a minute.
“Fuck,” Sebastian said. “You heard me.”
“You… you’re…” Julie tripped over
the words. “You left because…”
“Because I’m fucking in love with
you, yes,” Sebastian said. “And you and
Bret were just so fucking happy… anyone else and I would have done something
anyway, but I hadn’t seen him that happy in god knows how long. And you, I couldn’t make things hard on
you.”
“You didn’t think that just running
off in the middle of the night would be hard on me?”
“Not nearly so hard as being faced
with how I felt. I didn’t want to hurt
you, Julie, I still don’t.”
“I never thought I’d hear you talk
like this,” Julie said. “I mean, you
always seemed…”
“What, like such an asshole?”
Sebastian snorted. “I am. I figured you two couldn’t possibly last,”
he admitted. “I thought if I just let
him run with whatever the fuck he was doing that it would eventually die.” He was quiet for a minute. “I guess I didn’t consider the fact that
Bret wouldn’t be able to get over you any more than I would be.”
Julie blinked. “I had no idea,” she said weakly.
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t want you to know. Fuck, I had no intention of ever
letting you know.”
“But now I do.” She had no idea what else to say.
“Now you do,” Sebastian agreed. Julie looked up at him and their eyes
met. He held her gaze for a moment, and
then in one swift motion he was on top of her, pushing her back on the bed,
pressing his lips against hers. Her
stomach felt like it was tied in a knot, and Julie found herself succumbing to
his insistent kisses. The taste of his
mouth brought back a flood of memories and old feelings that she didn’t even
realize she’d had. More than anything,
at that moment, she wanted to just surrender to Sebastian.
With all of her self-restraint,
Julie pushed him off of her. “Sebastian, I can’t fucking believe you.” Sebastian looked at her for a moment, then
leaned down to kiss her again. Unsure
of what else to do, Julie pulled back and slapped him across his cheek with all
of her strength.
Sebastian stood up and took a few
steps backward, his eyes wide. “You
just fucking slapped me,” he said, incredulous.
“I’m sure I’m not the first.”
“You’re the first one that mattered.”
“What do you want me to say,
Sebastian?”
“I don’t fucking know! You made me tell you—“
“I had no fucking idea what you were
going to tell me. I wasn’t prepared for
this.”
“Well, neither was I.”
Julie took a breath. “Sebastian, listen, Bret and I—“
“Yeah, you and Bret. You and fucking Bret. You and Bret are so fucking happy, and—“
“Yes, Sebastian, we are
happy,” Julie said, although for some reason a voice in her head scolded her
for saying it. “I don’t know what else
to say to you.”
“How about that you’re sorry for
hitting me?”
Julie stood up. “Sebastian,” she began, and had to force
herself to continue. “I think you’d
better leave now.”
Sebastian just stood where he was
for a minute, looking shocked. He
opened his mouth as if to speak, then turned and stormed out as the first hot
tears began to spill down Julie’s cheeks.
She collapsed onto the bed and buried her face in a pillow.
Julie woke up to Bret gently shaking
her. “Sweetheart,” he said softly. “What’s wrong?”
She pulled back for a minute,
startled. “Bret,” she said, and an
image of Sebastian’s form leaving the room hurriedly flashed through her mind.
Bret pulled her against him. “You’ve been crying,” he said. “Are you
okay?”
Julie let herself relax against him
and buried her face in his hair. For a
while, she didn’t respond, and just let him hold her. “I am now,” she said finally, although she wasn’t entirely sure
she meant it.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing,” Julie said, knowing
she couldn’t possibly tell him what had happened. “Can we just go to sleep?
I just want you to hold me.”
“Of course,” Bret said, stroking her
hair. He moved to lay on his back, and
Julie laid her head on his chest, blinking back fresh tears before she drifted
back to sleep.
§
Julie woke for the second time when
she felt Bret stirring beneath her and opened her eyes, but didn’t move. She immediately noticed that Bret was sweaty
and warm. “Bret,” she said gently, not
sure if he was awake.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he said. “Did I wake you?”
“It’s okay,” Julie said, sitting
up. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”
“I’m all right,” Bret assured
her. “My stomach’s just a little
funny.”
“You’re awfully warm.”
“I’m okay. I must have eaten something bad last night or something.”
“Can I get you anything? A drink?”
“Yeah, sure,” Bret said. “Just some water would be fine.”
Julie climbed out of bed, stretched,
and realized she was still in last night’s clothes. She got a bottle of water out of the fridge and poured it into a
glass, which she handed to Bret. “I’m
just going to take a shower and get changed,” she told him.
“Okay,” he said, sitting up and
taking a tentative sip of water.
Julie looked at him for a
minute. He was awfully pale. “If you need me, just yell.”
“I’ll be okay.”
Julie grabbed some clothes, then
went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. For a few long minutes she just stood and
contemplated her reflection in the mirror, thinking about the night
before. She still found herself unable
to register much of anything beyond surprise and confusion. Not only had she never expected Sebastian to
say such things to her, she’d never expected Sebastian to say such things at
all. It just wasn’t in his nature,
or so she’d thought; she thought of Bret and Sebastian as the living embodiment
of ‘opposites attract’. They were like
night and day. They were indeed two of
the most beautiful creatures she’d ever encountered, but she had always thought
that Sebastian was made mostly of anger and lust, whereas Bret was deeper and
more caring. Hearing someone like Sebastian
confess that he was in love with her made Julie’s brain hurt. Moreover, she couldn’t figure out why she
was even thinking about it. After six
months of being very happy, for the most part, with Bret, Julie didn’t think
anything anyone could say could make her second-guess any of it – let alone
Sebastian, the drunk, violent maniac she’d slept with twice. And yet she found herself playing the
previous night’s scene over and over again in her mind, especially the part
where she’d allowed him to kiss her.
Just thinking about it made her stomach swirl, and Julie couldn’t quite
figure out why.
With a sigh, Julie started the water
and slowly undressed. Mechanically, she
went through the motions of showering, still trying to push thoughts of
Sebastian out of her mind. Even if she
did figure out what the hell about him made her think about him so much, it
didn’t matter; she was with Bret, and had been for a long time now. Part of her wanted to tell Bret what had
happened, but the rest of her knew that could only end badly. He had enough on his mind, anyway, and his
temper could be just as combustible as Sebastian’s. The two of them would likely kill each other. Besides, Bret wasn’t looking too well this
morning, and the image of his pale face was enough to make Julie push Sebastian
fully out of her mind, at least for the time being.
She stepped out of the shower and
toweled herself off, listening to try to figure out if Bret had gotten up. She didn’t hear anything, and put her
clothes on in a rush, then hurried into the bedroom. Bret had thrown the covers off of himself and was sitting at the
edge of the bed. He had taken off his
shirt and tossed it onto the floor.
“How are you feeling?” Julie asked as she continued to dry her hair.
Bret shrugged. “I’ve felt better,” he admitted.
“Do you want me to call Dr.
McKay?” Brandon McKay was Bret’s
personal physician, and someone that Julie had gotten to know pretty well. It was comforting to know that even when
they were far from home, he was always just a phone call away.
“Nah,” Bret said, shrugging the idea
off. “I’m sure it’s just something I
ate last night, or some kind of stomach bug.
Don’t worry about it.”
Julie crossed the room and pressed
her hand to Bret’s forehead. “I think
you might have a fever,” she said, and rummaged around in her purse. “Why don’t you take some Tylenol?”
“If me taking Tylenol will make you
feel better, then I’ll take it,” Bret said, smiling a little.
Julie handed him the bottle. “Well, my goal is for it to make you feel
better.”
Bret shook a few of the pills into
his palm and swallowed them dry. “Don’t
get your hopes up,” he said. “We’re
used to having things a little stronger than Tylenol when we’re on the road.”
“If you’re talking about liquor, I
don’t think that would help your stomach condition,” Julie said, brushing her
hair, “and if you’re talking about anything else, I’m just going to pretend I
didn’t hear you.”
Bret chuckled and took a deep
swallow from the glass of water Julie had given him a little while ago. “You’re surprisingly prim and proper for the
girlfriend of a metal singer,” he noted.
Julie snorted. “Just because I’ve never mainlined smack
does not mean I am prim and proper,” she replied. “If I was even a little bit prim or proper, I would not be
spending my time in a hotel room with you.”
“Touché.”
Julie finished brushing her hair and
began to pull it into a braid. “So,
what’s on the schedule for today?” Bret
didn’t answer her and she turned.
“Bret?”
Bret remained still for a moment and
then said, “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Bret said. “I’ll be fine.” He got up and went into the bathroom.
A
moment later, Julie heard retching noises from behind the closed door. “Fuck,” she said to herself, hoping he
wasn’t coming down with anything serious.
She heard the water in the bathroom turn on, then off, and Bret came
out. “Feel any better?”
“Yeah,”
he said. “I’m sure I’ll be okay
now.” He looked at Julie and seemed to
notice that she looked unconvinced.
“Honey, you know how we eat when we’re on the road. Lord knows what I could have ingested last
night.”
Julie frowned. “You’ve just been running yourself so ragged
lately,” she said. “You need to slow
down a little.”
“I know,” Bret said. “I’ve only got
two more shows left, and then we can go back to your house and I can relax for
a while.”
“You’ve been doing too many damn
shows lately, that’s the problem.
They’re working you too hard.”
“Jule, this is nothing compared to
some of the tours our first year.”
“You were four years younger and on
a lot of coke back then.”
Bret sighed. “Sweetheart, I’ll be okay. I promise.
Stop worrying so much.”
“I’m a woman. Worrying is one of our specialties.”
“So I’ve noticed. Do you want to go downstairs for a late
breakfast?”
Julie eyed him. “Do you think that’s such a good idea?”
Bret shrugged. “Sure, I’m fine. I got whatever was making me sick out of my system.” He didn’t sound terribly sure of himself.
Julie wasn’t quite sure how to
respond. She knew that it probably
wasn’t a very good idea, but Bret was as stubborn as a mule, and if she said
no, he’d likely end up doing it, anyway.
“If you’re sure you feel up to it,” she said finally.
“I’m sure. Just let me change my clothes.”
§
“I’ll have the eggs Florentine,”
Julie said to the waiter. “And a cup of
decaf, please.”
“Certainly,” he replied, scribbling
it down. He turned to Bret. “And for you, sir?”
“I’ll try the blueberry-stuffed
French toast.”
“And to drink?”
“Coffee’s fine.”
“Thank you. That’ll be ready in just a few minutes,” the
waiter said, and left.
“Blueberry-stuffed French toast?”
Julie questioned.
Bret shrugged. “I like blueberries.”
“I do, too, but don’t you think
that’s a little heavy on your stomach?”
“Jule, my stomach’s fine. It’s all empty now, and I’m going to feed
it.”
“Whatever you say.” The waiter came back with their coffee and
for a moment, there was silence while they added their respective cream and
sugar.
“Are you coming to the show
tonight?” Bret asked.
“Yeah,” Julie said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d want to spend some
time with Baz.”
Julie swallowed hard in an effort to
not spit coffee all over the table.
“It’s the last show on the tour.”
“It’s not as if you haven’t seen us live
before.”
“Don’t you want me there?”
“Sure, I do. I just don’t want you to feel like you have
to be there, if you wanted to do something else.”
“I know I don’t have to go,” Julie
said. “But I want to. Really.”
In reality, Julie didn’t particularly care to spend her evening in a
smoky, packed club watching the band play.
She much preferred their arena shows, and even then, it got tired. However, she couldn’t tell the truth this
time.
Bret smiled. “Well, good,” he said. “It’s always nice to know that my number one
fan is in the audience.”
Julie smiled back. “Just don’t tell all of your other number
one fans.”
The waiter came back and placed
their food in front of them. “If you
need anything else, just let me know,” he said, and left.
“Jesus,” Julie said. “I’ll never finish all of this.”
“Oh, I know,” Bret said. “This French toast is going to go straight
to my hips.”
“Because this is a high-class
establishment, I will not throw an egg at you,” Julie said, taking a bite of
her food.
“High-class, bah,” Bret
replied. “You just know that if you
threw an egg at me, you’d have a hell of a time getting syrup out of all that
hair of yours.”
“This, coming from Mr. Crew-cut over
there,” Julie scoffed.
“Oh, shut up and eat your damn
food.”
The meal continued in silence. When Julie had finished about half of her
meal, she put her fork down. “Okay,
that’s it. I’m going to bust in half if
I eat any more of this.” She looked up
at Bret, who had eaten about a fourth of his French toast and had gone pale
again. “Love? Are you all right?”
“I’m not sure,” Bret admitted.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m going to be sick
again,” Bret said in a low voice.
“Listen, meet me up in the room, okay?”
He stood up.
Julie stood as well. “What?
Where are you going?”
“Just meet me upstairs,” Bret said
again, more urgently, then he turned and walked quickly away.
§
Julie sat in a chair in the hotel
room with her knees up for nearly fifteen minutes before the door open and Bret
came in. He looked even more pale and
sweaty than he had earlier. “Honey,”
Julie said, then faltered, not sure what to say next.
Bret walked into the bathroom and
grabbed a toothbrush. “Sorry about
that,” he said, putting toothpaste on the brush. “I wouldn’t have made it back up to the room in time.” He began to brush his teeth.
“It’s okay,” Julie said. “I didn’t think breakfast was a good
idea.” She immediately felt like she
was saying ‘I told you so’. “I’m sorry. That might have come out wrong.”
Bret spit the excess toothpaste in
the sink and rinsed his mouth. “No,
it’s okay,” he said, coming out of the bathroom. “You were right. I guess
I have some kind of stomach bug.”
“Do you think maybe you should
cancel the show for tonight?”
“Are you kidding? I don’t even want to think about the chaos
that would ensue if I pulled a move like that.”
“Well, Bret, if you’re sick—“
“I’m not sick enough to cancel a
show,” he interjected. “I’d have to
lose a limb or slip into a coma. The
stomach flu is not a reason to turn away hundreds of people.”
Julie sighed. “Fine.
You should at least sleep for a while.”
“I can’t,” Bret said. “I have a rehearsal this afternoon.”
“Jesus, Bret, you can’t run around
all day today. You’re sick, and you’re
just going to make yourself worse.
Can’t you at least skip the rehearsal?
It’s not like you don’t know what you’re doing!” Julie looked at him pleadingly.
Bret sighed. “Would it make you feel better?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, fine. I’m going to take a shower. Can you go tell the guys that I’ll just meet
them before the show?”
Julie nodded. “Sure,” she said. “They’re upstairs, in room 36, right?”
“Yeah. If they give you any shit about it, just tell them you’re only
the messenger.”
“Right. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Julie left the room and took the
elevator to the third floor of the hotel, and walked down the hall until she
found room 36. She knocked loudly on
the door, knowing that the likelihood of the guys being awake was pretty
slim. After a few minutes, a
sleepy-sounding voice yelled something unintelligible. “It’s Julie,” she called back. “Open the door.”
A minute later, the door swung open
and a disheveled Rikki greeted her.
“Hey, dollface,” he said sleepily.
“Come on in.”
Julie stepped into the hotel room
and looked around. As usual, they’d
completely trashed the place. Bobby was
crashed out on the floor, and she didn’t see C.C. anywhere. There were empty alcohol bottles and pizza
boxes everywhere. “This is a four-star
hotel,” Julie said. “Haven’t you heard
of room service?”
Rikki grinned. “Who needs all that stuffy expensive
bullshit food? Pizza and Jack Daniels.”
Julie shook her head. “Whatever makes you happy. Where’s your guitarist?”
“You got a cigarette?” Julie handed
him one and Rikki lit it and laughed.
“C.C.’s in the bedroom, passed out under two blondes,” he said. “Twins!”
“Bret has amazing self-restraint,”
Julie noted.
“Where is he, anyway? It’s not like you to brave our room by
yourself.”
“Well, he said if you guys got
anything gross on me, he’d kick you in the head.” She paused. “Seriously,
though, I’m here to deliver a message.”
“Does this have anything to do with
that black-haired chick at the show last night?”
Julie looked at him for a minute. “I’m not even going to question that,” she
said. “No. Bret’s not going to be able to do rehearsal today.”
“If it wasn’t for you, I’d be sure
it had something to do with that black-haired chick,” Rikki replied. “What’s his deal? You two want to spend some quality time?” He winked.
“I wish. More like Bret’s going to be spending some quality time with some
pillows and perhaps the toilet.”
“Sounds like a wicked
hangover.” Rikki paused. “But hell, we partied harder than he did
last night.”
“Actually, he’s got some kind of
stomach flu or something,” Julie said.
“He’s been sick all morning.”
“Sucks,” Rikki noted. “He gonna be okay for tonight?”
Julie sighed. “I’d say the answer to that is pretty
irrelevant. You know Bret – whether
he’s really okay or not, he’ll be on that stage tonight. I have a feeling those crazy fans of yours
wouldn’t mind a bit if he puked all over the front row.”
“Are you kidding? Some of those girls would never wash
themselves again if any of Bret’s bodily fluids landed on them.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“Agreed, but it’s a sick world.”
“Anyway, I should really get back
down there and make sure he’s okay. Can
you tell Bobby and C.C. what’s up, if they ever come back to the land of the
living?”
“Sure, babe,” Rikki said. “Tell Bret to let us know if he needs
anything, although he’s already got a gorgeous nurse to take care of him.” He grinned.
“I love it when you stroke my ego,
Rikki,” Julie said, and left. She took
the elevator back down, and found Bret sitting in bed, flipping channels.
“How’d they take it?” he asked immediately.
“They’re not even awake yet. I don’t know how Bobby can sleep in the
positions he sleeps in.”
“They don’t sleep. They black out. Who’d you talk to?”
“Rikki,” Julie answered. “He told me C.C.’s unconscious with some
twins. He said if you needed anything
to let them know, although considering the fact that they seem to have their
hands full just trying to take care of themselves…” She trailed off.
“So I guess he wasn’t pissed.”
“I’m sure he’s relieved that he can
take his hangover back to bed for the day.
More importantly, though, how are you feeling?”
“Mostly like an idiot for eating
French toast on a sick stomach,” Bret replied.
“But I’ve got me a can of soda, and if a certain beautiful woman would
spend the afternoon laying in bed with me, I think I’ll be all right. That is, of course, unless you’re afraid of
catching whatever I’ve got.”
Julie smiled. “I think I’ll take the risk.” She crawled onto the bed. “Anything good on?”
“Daytime television? What do you think?” He turned the TV off. “Come here.”
Julie crawled up next to him and
rested her head on his shoulder. “Would
it be wrong of me to say that even under such shitty circumstances, I’m glad to
get to spend the day with you?”
Somehow, Bret’s frailty made all thoughts of the night before vanish,
and Julie found herself madly in love with him all over again.
Bret squeezed her shoulder. “Nah, wouldn’t be too wrong.” He grabbed his soda from the bedside table
and took a sip. Then he stretched out
and closed his eyes.
Julie felt his forehead. “That Tylenol doesn’t seem to have touched
your fever,” she noted.
“I’m sure it’ll go down if I just
sleep for a little while,” Bret said.
“Relax, babe. It’s just a
stomach virus.”
“I know,” she said. “Just get some rest. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
§
Julie gave up trying to sleep and
sat up. Bret was awake and looking like
hell. Over the past several hours, he
had tossed and turned in a fitful sleep, getting up to vomit every half hour or
so. Julie made sure he was drinking
soda – they’d switched to diet after the first few vomiting episodes – but he
wasn’t able to keep it down.
“I’m gonna puke again,” Bret
said. His voice was weak, and the sound
of it made Julie’s stomach tense up.
“Do you need some help getting to
the bathroom?”
Bret pulled himself shakily to his
feet, and swayed a little. “I hate to
ask,” he said. He didn’t look at
her. Julie knew this must be killing
him; Bret had always been very self-sufficient and didn’t like being
babied.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, and
guided him into the bathroom. She held
his hair for him, and felt very sorry for him and very scared all at once. Once he was done, she helped him to rinse
out his mouth and led him back to bed.
As an afterthought, she grabbed the garbage can from near the door and
set it next to the bed.
“Honey, why don’t I call your
doctor?” she asked.
“We should take my blood sugar
first,” he said.
Bret’s use of the word ‘we’ startled
Julie, but she tried not to show it.
Bret had taught her how to do this months ago, but she’d never actually
had to. Just receiving the instructions
had scared her; she’d never wanted to see him in a position where he couldn’t
do it himself. She dug around in Bret’s
suitcase until she found what she needed.
She took the meter out of its case and loaded a lancet into the injector,
then turned it on. “Do you want me to
just do it for you?”
“Sure,” Bret said, still not meeting
her gaze.
Julie put a test strip in the meter
and took Bret’s hand. She pricked his
finger and watched as his blood dripped onto the test strip, then waited
anxiously for it to read. When she saw
the reading, she swallowed. “I’m calling
your doctor,” she said, putting the meter down. “It just says ‘HI’.
What’s the phone number?” She
half-expected Bret to argue, but he just rattled off the number, and she dialed
quickly.
Once she had the doctor on the
phone, she tried to explain the situation as calmly as possible, not wanting to
show her alarm in front of Bret. “Dr.
McKay, this is Julie Kinsington,” she said.
“Bret’s very sick.” She waited
for him to respond before continuing.
“Well, he’s been feverish all morning, and he can’t keep anything
down. I just took his blood sugar and
it’s not registering on the meter.” She
listened to his instructions. “All
right. I’ll call you back in an hour,
then.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me to give you a shot of
regular,” she said. “Then take your
blood sugar again in an hour and call him back.” As she spoke, she was already moving about the room, throwing
away the test strip and lancet, and preparing the shot. “You know you’re not going to be able to do
the show tonight.”
“No, we don’t know that yet,” Bret
said as firmly as he could. “I can’t
make that kind of decision too early.”
Rather than arguing with him, Julie
administered the shot, then got him a glass of water. “See if you can keep this down,” she said.
He took the water and tentatively
sipped at it, then looked up at her.
Julie held his gaze, but felt absolutely terrified; the worse she’d ever
seen Bret was fall-down drunk or hungover, and the pale form before her now barely
looked like him. As if he could read
her mind, Bret spoke. “Sweetheart,
don’t be so scared. I’m going to be
okay.”
Julie swallowed. “I know you are,” she said, hoping her tone
didn’t give away the fact that she didn’t know if he’d be okay. “Just try to get some rest, okay?” She leaned down and kissed his forehead.
“I love you, Julie.”
Julie took a deep breath to steady
herself. “I love you, too.”
Julie
felt terrible as she shook Bret awake.
He’d only managed to doze off a few minutes ago, after being unable to
keep even the water down, but she had to check his blood sugar again. Bret barely moved as she did so, and just as
she feared, the reading hadn’t changed.
Without saying anything to Bret, she dialed Dr. McKay’s number, nearly
panicking.
“Doctor, it’s Julie Kinsington
again. His reading hasn’t gone down at
all, and he can’t even keep water down.
I’m…” She bit back ‘scared’. “I’m pretty concerned.” She listened to him for a moment. “Do you think that will help? I mean, it didn’t seem to the first time…..
yes, all right. I’ll call you back.”
“What…” Bret began, his voice barely
above a whisper now.
“He said that I should give you
another shot,” Julie said. “Frankly, I
think we should be doing something more, but I don’t know what.” She hurriedly prepared and gave him the
shot. He barely responded. “Honey?”
Bret made a sort of low moaning
noise and rolled over onto his side, pulling his legs up toward his chest.
“Bret??” Julie dropped the syringe
and put her hand on his arm.
“It hurts,” Bret said. His voice was choked with pain.
“Honey, what hurts?” Julie couldn’t keep the fear out of her
voice, but she doubted Bret even noticed.
“…can’t wear those pants onstage…”
Bret murmured, still curled in the fetal position. Julie picked up the phone and dialed 911. Somewhere in the back of her head, the
thought struck her that this was likely to cause a lot of publicity, and she
pushed the thought away.
“911, what is your emergency?”
Julie did her best to keep her voice
level. Freaking out to the 911 operator
could only make things worse. “My
boyfriend’s very sick,” she said. “He’s
diabetic, and he’s almost unresponsive at this point.” She told the operator a few more details.
“You’re at the Hotel Vintage Park,
is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Someone will be there shortly. Is he breathing?”
“Yes,” Julie said, and thanked some
higher power for it. “He’s delirious
and in pain, but he’s breathing.”
“Just continue to monitor his
breathing. The paramedics will be there
any minute. Have you alerted the front
desk?”
“No. Should I do that?” Julie asked dumbly. It was getting progressively harder to maintain her calm.
“Yes,” the operator told her. “That will save time. We’ll have to disconnect for you to do that,
but if anything changes before the ambulance arrives, just call again.” They got off the phone and Julie hurriedly
called down to the front desk to tell them what was going on. Once that was done, she forced herself to
look more closely at Bret. He was still
curled up on his side, silent, but obviously in pain. As much as Julie longed to help him somehow, what little was left
of her better judgment told her that she really had no idea what she was doing,
and doing anything at all might serve to make an already terrible situation
worse.
Thankfully, a few minutes later
there was a knock on the door and a male voice announced that it was the
paramedics. Julie scrambled to open the
door. At first, the two men just rushed
into action, taking Bret’s pulse and blood pressure, and Julie watched in
agonizing silence, not wanting to interfere.
Finally, one of the men left the room, and the other addressed
Julie. He asked her for a lot of
information, which Julie shakily gave him.
“We’re taking him to Our Lady of Mercy,” he told her. “Do you want to ride in the ambulance?”
Julie considered it for a minute,
knowing she probably should, but then shook her head. “We’re staying here with friends of his,” she said, even though
she realized that he probably knew who Bret was, and thus who his ‘friends’
were. “I have to tell them what’s going
on, and then we’ll all go.” She didn’t
think she could handle another minute of this situation alone without some kind
of moral support, even if it was from a bunch of hungover rock
stars. She paused. “I guess you can’t really diagnose him,
huh?” she said, desperate for some kind of answer.
The paramedic shook his head
regretfully. “The most I can tell you
is that it’s likely got something to do with his diabetes.” Just then, the second paramedic re-entered
the room, stretcher in tow, and they began carefully loading Bret onto it. He let out a weak moan that made Julie’s
stomach clench up. She felt as though
she should do something, touch him or console him somehow, but instead she just
watched mutely as they carried him out of the room.
For a few long minutes, Julie didn’t
move, almost unable to even comprehend what had just taken place. Then, summoning all of her will, she numbly
walked out of the room and took the elevator upstairs to talk to the band.
This time, Bobby pulled the door
open and greeted her. Julie had never
expected to be able to stand Bobby, much less like him, but over the past few
months he’d grown on her. He seemed to
have changed from the person who beat Marcella into a bloody pulp, and besides,
it was true that if he hadn’t, she and Bret never would have met.
“Hey, pretty lady,” Bobby greeted
her. “To what do I owe the pleasure of
your company?”
“Where’s everyone else?” Julie
asked.
Bobby shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine on that one,”
he replied. “I came out of the shower
and they weren’t here.” He glanced at
the clock. “Don’t tell me Bret wants to
rehearse now.”
Julie sighed. “Actually, I rather wish that was what I was
here to tell you.”
Bobby frowned. “Why? What’s up?”
“Bret’s on his way to the
hospital.” There was just no
candy-coated way of putting it.
Bobby blinked. “Rikki said he just
had the stomach flu.”
“Well, that’s what we thought,”
Julie agreed, “but he just kept getting worse all day, and his blood sugar
skyrocketed. When he suddenly curled
into the fetal position and started spewing gibberish at me, I called 911.”
Bobby ran a hand through his
hair. “Jesus fuck.”
“Yeah. I had hoped you’d all be here so we could head over to the
hospital.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
Julie wanted him to go with her more
than anything, but she knew that wasn’t the right choice. “No,” she said. “I want you to wait here until C.C. and Rikki get back, and then
meet me over there.”
“You sure?”
No.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just get to
the hospital when you can.” Almost as
an afterthought, Julie added, “It’s Our Lady of Mercy.”
“Okay,” Bobby said. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
§
Julie had been sitting in the
waiting room chewing a hole through her brain for nearly two hours. Apparently, everyone had thought this Sunday
would be a good day to seriously injure themselves, and the only person Julie
had spoken to was a nurse who had told her that someone would be out to talk to
her as soon as possible. Although she
empathized with how busy the hospital was, Julie found herself silently cursing
the staff for not keeping her informed.
Suddenly, from behind her, someone
spoke. “Are you okay?”
Julie recognized the voice
immediately and jumped up. Without
responding immediately, she collapsed against Sebastian and closed her eyes,
forgetting the events that had taken place the night before. She wanted to lose herself in his long hair
and pretend that none of this was happening.
Sebastian’s long arms pulled Julie against him and held tightly. They stayed that way for a while before she
pulled away to look up at him. “What
are you doing here?” she asked softly.
“I ran into Bobby at a bar,”
Sebastian replied. “He was trying to
hunt down C.C. and Rikki, and he told me what happened.”
Suddenly, the reality of the
situation between herself and Sebastian struck Julie and she took a tentative
step backwards. “I don’t know how he’s
doing yet,” she said. “No one’s talked
to me.”
“Yeah,” he said, “I know how
hospitals work.”
“You didn’t have to come down
here. If you want, I can call you when
I know more.”
Sebastian looked hurt. “I didn’t come here for Bret,” he said. “I mean, I’m as worried about him as you
are, but he’s got a lot of trained professionals looking after him. You’re all
by yourself.”
“I’m not the sick one.”
“And maybe that’s a disadvantage, in
its way,” Sebastian said. “You’re the
one who has to sit here and be alert and worry. I’m sure Bret would rather be where he’s at than on the other
side of this game.”
Julie knew he had a point; part of
her wished that she was the one in the emergency room so that he wouldn’t have
to feel pain. She sat back down. “I feel terrible,” she said. “I should have done something.”
“What else could you have done?”
Sebastian asked, sitting down next to her.
“You were with him all day, and then when it got serious you called an
ambulance. That about covers it.”
“I don’t know. I should have known. I should have brought him in earlier.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Julie snorted. “I was following his
doctor’s orders.”
“Then you did the right thing there,
too. Look, Jule, I know you desperately
want to be on top of a situation at all times, but anyone in your position
would have done what you did. You didn’t fuck up.”
Internally, Julie was relieved to
hear someone say out loud that she had done the right thing. She sighed. “Yeah, I know. This is just hellish.”
Sebastian put his arm around Julie
again, and she didn’t pull away. Now
was not the time to worry about whether that was okay or not. “He’ll be fine, Julie. You’re a chick, and chicks never believe
that, but he’s going to be okay.”
Before Julie had a chance to
respond, Rikki, C.C., and Bobby walked into the waiting room. After an attempt at casual greetings, Rikki
spoke. “How is he?”
Julie opened her mouth to answer,
but Sebastian took over. “We haven’t
heard anything yet. I’m sure he’s going
to be fine.”
“You mean you guys have just been
sitting here for a few hours and no one’s said anything at all?” Bobby asked,
incredulous.
“I have been,” Julie said. “They said they’re very busy and someone
would get to me as soon as possible.”
“That’s bullshit,” C.C. said. “I’m going to go find a doctor.”
“Chill out, C.C.,” Sebastian said as
C.C. started to walk towards the nurse’s station. Mercifully, just at that moment, the door swung open and a doctor
approached them.
He addressed Julie. “I’ll start by telling you that Bret’s going
to be all right this time,” he said, and the sense of relief in the room was
almost tangible. “But,” the doctor
continued, “he had a close call.”
“Thank you,” Julie said. “What happened to him?”
“Well, his bloodstream stopped
absorbing the insulin, although admittedly we’re not entirely sure why. That just happens sometimes. Anyway, it caused his bloodsugar to rise to
extremely dangerous levels, and he was nearly in a coma when he got here.” Julie glanced surreptitiously at Sebastian,
and it was clear that he hadn’t imagined Bret’s situation was so serious. “We have him on intravenous insulin and
fluids to rehydrate him. He’s going to
have to stay here for a few days, but he should be fine.”
“Can we see him?”
“Well, I think he’s been through a
bit this evening to be crowded right now,” the doctor said. “But if you want to go in for a few minutes
by yourself, that would be all right.
He’s on the second floor in Room 315.”
He scribbled something on his clipboard. “By the way, I’m Dr. Markowitz, in case you should need me.” He shook Julie’s hand and left.
Julie turned to the guys. “I’ll come see you guys as soon as I get
back to the hotel,” she promised. “I
shouldn’t be long.”
“Are you sure you don’t want us to
wait and give you a ride back with us?” Rikki offered.
“I’ll give her a ride,” Sebastian
cut in quickly.
Julie almost refused the offer, but
decided that would look odd and kept quiet.
Bobby looked about to say something, but he, too, remained silent.
Rikki gave Julie a quick hug. “Chin up, dollface,” he said. “Bret’s a tough one. He’ll be okay.”
“We’ll see you back at the hotel,”
C.C. said then, and the band left.
Julie and Sebastian stood in the
waiting room quietly for a moment.
Finally, Sebastian said, “You should get up there and see him. I’ll wait here for you.”
“Okay,” she replied, and was about
to say more, but thought better of it.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
§
When Julie got to Bret’s room, he
was sitting up, but his eyes were closed.
She tentatively approached the bed and said his name softly. He opened his eyes. “Hi,” he said quietly.
“How are you feeling?”
Bret shrugged. “I’ve felt better.”
“You gave me a pretty good scare,”
Julie admitted.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he
said.
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Do the guys know?”
“Yeah,” Julie said. “They just left. The doctor didn’t want us to crowd you.”
“How are you going to get back to
the hotel?”
Julie bit the inside of her
cheek. “Sebastian’s in the waiting
room,” she said cautiously.
“Baz brought you here?”
“No, I took a cab. He ran into Bobby and then showed up here.”
“I guess they’re going to keep me
here for a few days,” Bret said. “Is
Baz going to stay with you?”
Julie blinked. “I hadn’t really given that any thought.”
“Well, I don’t want you staying by
yourself,” Bret replied.
“What about the guys?”
Bret made a noise that might have
been a laugh. “You’ve seen their hotel
room. Wouldn’t you rather stay with
Baz?”
“Sure,” Julie said, afraid that any
other answer would sound suspicious. “I
just don’t know when he’s planning on leaving.”
“I’m sure he’ll stick around, given
the circumstances.”
“Yeah,” Julie said, and found
herself uncertain of what to say next.
“I should let you get some rest,” she said after a moment. “I’ll come back first thing in the morning.”
“Okay. Jule, try not to worry about me.
I’m fine.”
“Yeah, I know,” Julie said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She leaned down and they kissed briefly.
“I love you,” Bret said.
“I love you, too. Goodnight.”
Julie left the room quickly and made her way back to the waiting
room.
Sebastian was flipping through a
magazine, but when he saw Julie he put it down and rose to his feet. “How is he?”
“Honestly, he looks like shit,”
Julie replied. “Although he looks a lot
better than he did when they brought him in here.”
“I’m sure in a couple of days we
won’t even be able to tell this happened,” Sebastian assured her. “You ready to go?”
“I could have just taken a cab,”
Julie said, but even as she spoke she followed him outside.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I have a rental car.” Sebastian grinned as they walked across the
parking lot.
When they got to the car, Julie
said, “Ford Taurus.”
“What about it?”
“You? In a Taurus? Sebastian,
this car is forest green.”
“They were fresh out of black
Corvettes,” he retorted, opening the passenger door. “Get in.”
Julie
climbed into the car and Sebastian closed the door, then got in on the driver’s
side. He lit a cigarette. “Want one?”
Julie
took one and let him light it. As they
started to drive, she said, “We can’t just pretend that last night didn’t
happen.”
“We’re
not pretending anything,” Sebastian replied, his eyes on the road. “Something fucked up went down tonight and
you needed my help.” He glanced at
her. “Whether you admit it or not. This has nothing to do with what happened
last night.”
“Bret
thinks you should stay with me while he’s in the hospital.”
“And
what do you think about that?” Sebastian asked, not missing a beat.
Julie
hesitated. “I guess I think that if
that’s what Bret wants…”
“The
question is not what Bret wants, it’s what Julie wants.”
“At
the moment, all Julie wants is for Bret to get better,” she replied. “As for you staying with me, I think that
given the circumstances we can just try to ignore last night and try to make
the best of a shitty situation.”
“Your wish is my command.”
§
Julie didn’t address Sebastian again
until they were back at the hotel. “I’m
going to go upstairs and see the guys for a minute,” she said. “When I come back we can discuss the fact
that there’s only one bed in here.”
Without waiting for a response, she left the room and went
upstairs.
Rikki opened the door. “Hi, sweetie,” he said, moving aside so
Julie could enter. Bobby and C.C. were
sitting in front of the TV.
C.C. grinned. “They have a channel on this thing that
shows female mud wrestling!” He waved a
beer at her.
“No, thank you,” Julie said. “Beer instead of liquor? You guys must be pretty upset.”
Bobby turned the TV off. “How’s Bret?”
“He’ll be okay,” Julie said. “He looked pretty tired, but he was much
better than earlier today.” She
paused. “Did you guys think to cancel
the show?”
“I took care of it,” Rikki
said. “They weren’t real happy about
it, but tonight’s show wasn’t sold out, so it could have been worse.”
“Do you want to crash here tonight?”
C.C. offered.
Julie looked around the destroyed
hotel room. “I wouldn’t want to cramp
your style.”
C.C. laughed. “We’ll even clean up for you.”
“It’s okay. Sebastian’s going to stay with me while
Bret’s in the hospital.”
“How does Bret feel about that?”
Bobby asked, and immediately looked like he regretted saying it.
“Actually, it was his idea.”
“Well, Bret knows best,” Rikki put
in. “If you need us, we’ll be here.”
“Thanks, guys,” Julie said. “I’m going to go downstairs and take a
shower and go to bed early.” They
exchanged ‘goodnight’s and Julie headed slowly back downstairs, not quite sure
what to do with the situation she was about to deal with.
Sebastian was drinking a rather tall
glass of whiskey when Julie got back to the room. “You want one?”
Julie was about to decline, but
found herself nodding. Somehow, getting
good and hammered seemed like a very appropriate ending to a very long,
horrible day. Sebastian poured the
drink. “Do you want me to mix this with
something?”
“No. I’m going for effect, not flavor.” She took the drink and took a deep swallow, cringing a little at
the taste.
“My sentiments exactly.”
Julie took another sip, wanting to
get drunk enough to feel numb as quickly as possible. “Tell me again that Bret’s going to be fine.”
“Bret’s going to be fine,” Sebastian
said obediently. “He’s already
fine. They just want to make sure he
stays that way, which he will.”
“It made my stomach hurt when he
said that he’d rather have me stay with you than by myself.”
Sebastian was quiet for a minute as
he finished his drink and poured himself another. “He knows that I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” he said
finally.
Julie held her breath and chugged
the remainder of her drink. “That
depends on your definition of ‘bad’, I suppose. Pour me another one.”
Sebastian poured more whiskey into
her glass. “You might want to slow down
a little or you’ll be on your knees in the bathroom.”
Julie waved the idea off. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” she said,
drinking a third of the glass in one swallow.
“Besides, I’ve never been sick from drinking. Not once.”
“Impressive.” He polished off the rest of the whiskey in
his glass, then put the glass down.
Julie drank some more of hers. “Done already?”
“I had one before you came back in,”
Sebastian replied. “I think I’m good
for now.”
“If three’s enough for you, I guess
two’s enough for me.” She closed her
eyes and finished off her drink. “This
shit is fucking disgusting.”
“It isn’t consumed for flavor,”
Sebastian agreed.
Julie put the glass down. “I’m going to go take a shower before I’m
fucked up enough to run a serious risk of drowning.”
“If you’re not out in 15 minutes,
I’ll bring you a snorkel,” Sebastian said, sitting down on the bed and turning
on the TV.
“I think they’re in the drawer with
the bible.” Julie went into the
bathroom and shut the door behind her.
The whiskey was already making her feel slightly warm and tingly, which
made it hard to think about anything quite rationally. She attempted to consider her situation for
a moment, but couldn’t quite hold on to a thought, and then gave up. After all, that had been her exact
motivation for drinking in the first place.
She took her time in the shower, trying to wash away the evening. Eventually she started to feel the effects
of the two glasses of whiskey she consumed, and forced herself to turn off the
water and get out, almost falling.
Apparently, the liquor had crept up on her more quickly than she’d
expected it to. At the same time that
she had that thought, another thought struck her – she hadn’t brought a change
of clothes into the bathroom with her.
A more sober version of herself would have put her old clothes back on
long enough to go get new ones, but the version of her that was currently
getting progressively more and more drunk marched out of the room wearing
nothing but a towel.
Sebastian was laying backwards on
the bed, his head hanging off the side, staring at something on the television
that appeared to be in Spanish. He
glanced at Julie. “I don’t know if it’s
the JD or what, but from upside down, it looks like you’re only wearing a
towel.”
“That’s because I’m only wearing a
towel,” Julie said triumphantly, and realized she was starting to slur. Somewhere in the back of her head, the voice
of good reasoning admonished her for drinking that much whiskey, but she
quickly dismissed the thought. The
whiskey was, after all, the only thing keeping her from totally losing it.
Sebastian pulled himself
upright. “Is this supposed to be some
kind of drunken endurance test?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking
about,” Julie replied. She made no move
to get dressed.
Sebastian chuckled. “I just drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels,
and the most gorgeous woman in the world comes strutting out of the bathroom in
a towel. You’re right, I must be nuts.”
Any remnants of Julie’s better
reasoning were rapidly dissipating. “Am
I testing your self-restraint?”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Maybe,” he said. “Are you trying to?”
“Maybe,” Julie retorted. “I really don’t have any idea what I’m doing
right now.”
“I think ‘being drunk’ is a safe
answer.”
“And you’re not being drunk?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m definitely drunk.”
“You still haven’t told me if I’m
testing your self-restraint.”
“I said you might be.”
Julie let the towel drop to the
floor. “How about now?”
Sebastian remained quiet for a
moment, drinking in the sight of her.
“Okay, now it’s getting a little more difficult for me to just sit
here.”
“Ah,” Julie said, “but you have
to just sit there. I’m an owned
woman.”
“You’re a cruel woman.” He turned off the TV.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been called
cruel before.”
“Have you ever done something like this
before?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’d tell you to put your clothes on
because you’re drunk and don’t realize what you’re doing,” Sebastian said, “but
that would be self-defeating.”
“Why?” Julie asked, finding it a bit
difficult to remain totally upright.
The room wasn’t spinning yet, at least.
“What are you gaining from this situation?”
“At the moment? An eyeful.”
“I’m surprised you’re not trying to
get more.”
“So am I.”
Julie took a few steps closer to the
bed. “What if I come closer?”
“Then you make it even harder for me
to not do anything.” There was lust in
his eyes.
“No pun intended, right?” Sebastian didn’t respond. “What if I did… this?” Julie asked, and
climbed onto the bed. She straddled
him, making sure that no part of her body actually touched his.
Sebastian made a noise from deep in
his throat. “Julie, if you keep this
up, I’m not going to be able to resist.
No man could.”
Julie brought her face down close to
his, drunk and daring. “You’re stronger
than that, aren’t you, Sebastian?” His
name rolled off of her tongue.
Sebastian didn’t move for a few
minutes, just looking at her. His
desire was almost tangible. “Not around
you,” he said finally, and his hands came up around her.
“What are you doing?”
“Exactly what you knew I would do,”
he said, and leaned up to kiss her.
Through a haze of alcohol and desire, Julie didn’t resist, but instead
let herself lean into him. Their
tongues intertwined and Julie tasted his mouth; whiskey and cigarettes. The flavor was strangely comforting. She grabbed a fistful of his hair and
tugged. Sebastian groaned into her
mouth and dug his nails into her back.
Julie pulled back a little bit and
looked into his eyes. “Do you want to
do this?” she asked him, her voice choked with alcohol and emotion. Even as she spoke, she was pulling his shirt
off then pushing him down onto his back.
“You have no idea.” He closed his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about you for
months.” His voice was quiet and
breathy.
Julie kissed his neck and then began
moving lower, pausing to flick her tongue over each of his nipples. His skin tasted exquisite. Sebastian stiffened beneath her and exhaled
as she moved steadily lower. When she
reached the waistline of his pants, he arched his back slightly and
moaned.
Julie took her time unbuttoning his
pants and sliding them off. She was
operating entirely on instinct now, any conscious reasoning long gone. She went back to kissing his body, along his
waist and down his thighs, relishing every noise he made. After a few minutes of this, his voice
gravelly and low, he said, “Please.”
The word gave Julie goosebumps and she
found herself unable to do anything but give Sebastian what he wanted. She slowly took him into her mouth, letting
his movements and sounds guide her. He
brought his hands down and wrapped them in her hair and she paused to look at
him. “Does it feel good?” she asked
him.
“Amazing,” he said breathily, not
opening his eyes. “Don’t stop.”
Julie went back to pleasuring him,
quickly getting lost in the moment.
Sebastian arched his back more, pushing himself into her mouth; she put
her hands on his hips to hold him down a bit.
Every noise he made encouraged her to work harder, and she was consumed
by the desire to make him feel good.
After a while, Sebastian’s breathing
became more irregular, and he said, “Stop.”
Julie pulled back. “Why?”
“I don’t want this to be over yet.”
She tensed at the sound of his words
and moved up so she was face to face with him.
“Neither do I,” she said, and kissed him. As their tongues met, she slid herself down onto him slowly,
torturing herself as much as him. Once
he was fully inside of her, Julie began to move her hips in slow, circular
motions, and the sensation was almost too much. Sebastian groaned and their kiss broke as he put his hands on her
waist, his eyes still closed and his mouth partially open. “God,” he said, still in that gravelly tone
that made Julie feel feverish.
Julie closed her eyes and lost
herself in the rhythms of sex. The
sensations were so intense that she could barely stand it. The other times that she had slept with
Sebastian had been rushed, animalistic; amazing, but nothing compared to the
calculated and deliberate manner in which they were moving now. Even through her drunken blindness, Julie
felt her passion building quickly, and told Sebastian so just before she
exploded.
In a fluid motion, he turned her
over so that he was on top, and he moved in and out of her with the same
unhurried movements that she had used.
“You feel so good,” she said to him.
“I’ve never felt anything like
this.”
They
pushed against each other for a long time, kissing often, their hands
everywhere, before Sebastian’s motions became more erratic. Julie felt herself coming again. A moment later, she felt him tense and then
spill hotly into her. They stayed still
for a few long minutes, collecting themselves, before Sebastian rolled off of
her.
“I’ve
wanted to do that for so long,” he said.
“I
know,” Julie responded, still very much caught up in what had just taken place,
and still very drunk. She moved closer
to Sebastian and put her head on his chest.
They
lay in silence and Julie began to drift off to sleep. Just before unconsciousness overcame her, she heard Sebastian say
softly, “I love you.”
§
From
underneath a splitting headache, Julie heard the hotel room door open, and
didn’t really comprehend it. At the
moment, all she wanted to do was crawl under a rock and stay there for a few
weeks. Hopefully, the maid, or whoever
was in the room, would realize she was sleeping and just go away.
“Oh,
isn’t this just fucking lovely,” came a male voice from the edge of the
bed.
In
a rush, the memory of the previous night washed over Julie and she realized
that it was Bobby who had just walked in.
A voice in her head screamed something about the stupidity of not
bothering to lock the door. She
reluctantly pulled her head out from underneath the pillow and sat up, careful
to not uncover herself, and looked from Bobby to the sleeping form of Sebastian
and back. As she was about to speak,
Bobby turned and walked quickly out of the room.
Grabbing
one of the complimentary hotel robes, Julie took off down the hall after
him. “Bobby, wait!”
Bobby
stopped and turned, his anger clearly evident.
“What?”
Julie
stopped and sighed internally. What,
indeed? “Look,” she said after a
minute, “I’m not going to try to lie my way out of this.”
“I
don’t see how you possibly could.”
“Are you going to tell Bret?”
Bobby looked at her evenly. “No,” he said. “I don’t think so.
Believe me, though, it’s not because I’m protecting you from
anything.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Julie
said quietly.
“All I’m going to say is, with what
he did to Marcella, he’s fucking lucky I’m not a more vengeful person.” He turned to walk away.
“What are you talking about?”
Bobby turned back and looked at
her. “You know what,” he said
angrily. “Nevermind. I’m sure someone who does things in such a
timely fashion wouldn’t have time to hear about this.” He spit the words out fiercely, and without
waiting for a reply, left.
For a moment, Julie just stood in
the hallway, not wanting to face Sebastian or the reality that came with
him. Through her hangover, she couldn’t
feel much, but she knew that once she felt better physically, the situation was
going to eat her alive. Thinking back,
she couldn’t remember a single thing she’d done that was as awful as sleeping
with Sebastian the night Bret went into the hospital.
Finally, she forced herself to go
back inside. Sebastian was sitting up
in bed. “I guess we should have locked
the door,” he offered lamely.
Julie almost yelled at him, but
stopped herself. She knew she had no
upper hand in this situation, and that in reality, she might have done
something even worse than he had. “Yeah. We should have,” she replied.
“What did he say?”
“Well, he said he doesn’t think
he’s going to tell Bret. He also said
something about Marcella, but I have no idea what he’s talking about.”
“He’ll always be bitter about her,”
Sebastian said.
Julie rummaged around in her purse
until she found the Tylenol, then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and
swallowed four of them. Tossing the
bottles on the bed, she said, “I’m going to go take a shower and then get over
to the hospital.”
Sebastian nodded. “I’ll be ready when you get out.”
Julie froze. “You’re coming with me?” The idea made her cringe. She didn’t know if she could face Bret with
Sebastian in the room.
“Don’t you think he’d find it a bit
off if the guy he has you staying with just wasn’t around?”
Julie sighed. He had a point. “Yeah.
You’re right.” Without saying more, she
went into the bathroom and slowly dragged herself through the motions of taking
a shower. She wasn’t at all looking
forward to seeing Bret with Sebastian in tow, but she knew she didn’t have a
choice.
She came out of the bathroom, again
wearing the hotel robe, and grabbed some clothes out of a drawer. Halfway back to the bathroom, she
stopped. “I guess it doesn’t really
matter if I change my clothes in front of you at this point.”
Sebastian was already dressed and
idly flipping channels on the TV. “Not
really,” he agreed, but didn’t look at her as she put her clothes on. She went back in the bathroom to brush her
teeth and hair, and hurriedly put on makeup.
“You ready?” she asked, grabbing her
purse.
“If you are,” Sebastian said,
turning off the TV.
They didn’t speak as they walked
from the hotel room to Sebastian’s rental car and began driving to the
hospital. Halfway there, Julie said, “Do you think he’ll notice something’s
up?”
“No,” Sebastian said simply.
“Why are you so sure of that?”
“Do you want my entire answer, or do
you want me to just say it’s because we’re not dumb enough to give ourselves
away?”
“Your entire answer,” Julie said.
“He won’t think anything is up
because Bret thinks the world of you, and never in his wildest dreams has he
imagined that you might do what you did last night.”
Julie cringed at the truth in his
words. “I didn’t think I would,
either,” she said quietly.
“Well, that makes three of us.”
“Look, Sebastian, I—“
He cut her off. “Yeah.
I know the drill. You had a
really good time last night, but you were drunk, and we shouldn’t have done
that, and we can’t do it again, blah blah blah.” He was staring intently at the road.
Julie sighed. “I’ve been with Bret for a long time.”
They pulled into the hospital
parking lot. “I think I know that
better than you two do,” Sebastian said.
They parked and made the journey to Bret’s room in silence. When they were outside of his door,
Sebastian spoke again. “Look, I’m not
any more excited about this than you are.
Just stay cool.”
Julie gave him a look and pushed
Bret’s door open. He was sitting up in
bed, flipping through a magazine, and he smiled when he saw them. “Hey,” he greeted them.
Julie put on her most convincing
smile. “Hi, gorgeous,” she said, and
kissed him. “How are you feeling?”
“Better now that you’re here,” Bret
said. Julie did her best to continue
looking normal. “Seriously, I’m feeling
pretty much back to normal. I’ll be out
of here on Wednesday.”
“That’s great,” Julie said. “I’m looking forward to going home.”
“Me, too,” Bret agreed. He looked at Sebastian. “Hey, asshole. What’s up?”
Sebastian forced a smile. “Not much, dickwad,” he replied. “I mean, besides being grounded in Seattle
while you recuperate.”
Bret laughed. “And you just know I did it on
purpose.”
“Nothing would surprise me.”
“Stop being a dick and tell me what
you’ve been up to all this time.”
Sebastian shrugged. “You know,” he said. “The usual bullshit. Touring.”
“Staying out of trouble?”
“If by ‘staying out of trouble’ you
mean ‘not getting caught’, then yeah, for the most part.”
“For the most part?”
“I’d say one night in jail over a
period of six months is pretty good for me,” Sebastian replied.
“What did you do?” Bret asked. Julie raised an eyebrow.
“She didn’t look fourteen,”
Sebastian replied, grinning. When he
saw the shocked look on Julie’s face, he laughed. “I’m kidding. It was
possession.”
“Do I even have to ask, possession of
what?” Bret asked.
“Probably not.”
Bret shrugged. “Okay, you’re right. One arrest in six months is pretty
good for you. You’re still an idiot,
though.”
“Me? You’re the fuckwit who landed yourself in the hospital. I haven’t done anything stupid enough to
nearly kill myself yet.” He
paused. “Okay, maybe I have, but I’ve
never been taken to the hospital on a stretcher.”
Julie shot him a look. “Yeah, honey,” she said, “we don’t want to
lose you yet.”
Bret smiled at her. “It’s gonna take a lot more than nearly
dying to get me away from you, babe,” he said.
Julie couldn’t help it and started
to cry. She tried to stop herself, but
with her hangover receding, guilt was quickly taking its place. Bret looked up at her, his expression
surprised and confused. “I’m sorry,”
Julie choked out. “I’m making an ass
out of myself.”
Sebastian frowned. “I think I’m just going to go downstairs and
get us all some coffee,” he announced.
“You two look like you could use some time alone.” Without waiting for a response, he ducked
out.
Bret looked back at Julie. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Julie wiped her eyes with the back
of her hand. “You didn’t,” she assured
him. “I think all of this drama just
has me a little keyed up.” She sat in
the chair next to his bed.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. This must be hell for you.”
Julie bit the inside of her
cheek. The last thing Bret would be
doing right now would be feeling sorry for her, if he knew what had really been
going on. “I’m okay,” she said, collecting
herself a bit. “I was just worried
about you.”
“I know,” Bret said. He motioned for her to climb onto the bed
with him, which she reluctantly did. He
put his arm around her and pulled her against his chest. “I’m fine,” he assured her. “Just two more days and we can go home.”
Julie allowed herself to relax
against Bret. Despite how terrible she
felt, being with him was comforting, and she closed her eyes. “I can’t wait to go home,” she agreed. For a long time, they laid in silence, then
Julie sat up. “Where do you suppose
Sebastian got to?”
“Trying to land a nurse?” Bret
suggested, smiling.
Julie forced herself to smile as she
climbed off of the bed. “I’m just going
to run down to the cafeteria and see if I can hurry him up a bit.”
Bret nodded. “All right,” he said. “Tell him not to worry about coffee for me.”
Julie took the elevator downstairs
and after a few wrong turns, found the cafeteria. It was nearly empty, and Sebastian was nowhere in sight. She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her
stomach, and headed towards the front door to look for his car. When she was passing the intake desk, the
woman working there stopped her.
“Excuse me, are you Miss
Kinsington?”
Julie turned and tried to force a
smile, assuming the woman knew who she was and wanted to press her for Bret’s
autograph or something similar. “Yes,”
she said.
“There’s a note for you,” the woman
said, handing her a folded piece of paper.
Julie took the note and
frowned. “Thank you,” she said, and took
a few steps away from the desk before unfolding the paper.
It read: Jules, You asked last
night, ‘Aren’t you stronger than that?’ and my answer was, ‘Not around
you’. I need to figure out what to do
with the only woman I can’t have. –S.
Julie took a deep breath to steady herself, finding herself
overcome with anger. Sebastian had a
tendency to run when a situation got too heavy for him, and she hated him for
having the option to do that while she was forced to deal with this
head-on. She tossed the note into a
nearby trashcan and went back to Bret’s room.
“Where’s Baz?”
Julie swallowed. “Well, he’s not in the cafeteria.”
Bret gave her a questioning
look. “Then where is he?”
“His car’s not in the parking lot,”
Julie replied. “He could conceivably be
on his way anywhere right now.”
Bret’s expression darkened. “You mean he just took off?”
“Again,” Julie confirmed.
“Why the fuck would he do
that?” Anger was creeping into his
tone.
“Your guess is as good as mine,”
Julie lied. “I still have no idea why
he did it the first time.”
“You know, I’m really starting to
get so sick of his bullshit. He doesn’t
seem to have changed at all in the past six months.”
Julie sighed. “Yeah,” she said, “but how much have we
changed?”
Bret looked at her for a
minute. “How are you going to get back
to the hotel?”
“I’ll call one of the guys,” Julie
said. “I’m sure Rikki will come pick me
up.”
Bret nodded. “It’s fucking ridiculous that Baz would just
leave you here like that,” he said. “He’s
lucky I’m used to dealing with his shit.”
Julie didn’t quite know how to
respond to that. “You should be
resting,” she said after a minute. “And
so should I. I think I’m going to go
back to the hotel and just sleep for a long time.”
“It’s only 6:00,” Bret said.
“I know. Do you think C.C. has something in his magic hat that will knock
me out for sixteen hours or so?”
Bret smiled a little. “I’m sure he does. Just make sure you specify that you don’t want anything snortable
or injectable.”
“You don’t have to worry about
that.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?”
“Honey, I’m fine. Really.
If you want to go back to the hotel and get some rest, go ahead.”
“If you need anything, I’ll come back,”
Julie promised.
“They’re taking good care of
me. You don’t need to worry.”
“We’ve been over my worrying
before,” Julie replied. “I’m going to
go downstairs and call Rikki. I’ll see
you tomorrow.” She gave him a quick
kiss and left.
§
The drive back to the hotel had been
a quiet one. Julie supposed she had
known all along that Rikki wouldn’t question the situation, but she was
grateful for it just the same. Now that
they were back at the hotel, Julie realized that if she wanted some kind of
sleeping aid, she would have to go to the band’s room and risk running into
Bobby. It was fairly obvious that he
hadn’t mentioned the morning’s incident to them, and it would look strange if
she refused to go up there. Nervously,
she followed Rikki into the room.
Mercifully, C.C. was sitting in
front of the TV messing around with his guitar and Bobby was nowhere to be
seen. “Where’s Bobby?” she asked
timidly.
C.C. looked up. “No idea,” he said. “He’s been gone for a while. How are you doing?”
Julie sighed. “I’m okay, all things considered.”
“How’s Bret?”
“He’ll be out on Wednesday. He seemed pretty much fine today.”
C.C. nodded. “Yeah, I knew he would be.” He glanced around the messy room. “Are you crashing up here tonight? I could clean up a little bit.”
“Nah. I’ll stick around for a little while, but I think I just need to
be alone tonight. Nothing
personal.” She paused. “Actually, I came to ask you a favor.”
C.C. grinned. “Name it, sugar.”
“I was wondering if you had anything
that would knock me out until tomorrow morning,” she said bluntly.
“I could hit you with my guitar.”
Julie smiled a little. “I was thinking of something a little more
chemical. We wouldn’t want to hurt your
guitar.” She paused, thinking of what
Bret had said earlier. “Preferably
nothing that goes up my nose or in my veins.”
C.C. snorted. “I don’t even want to think of what
your boyfriend would do if I shot you up with dope,” he said. “Besides, fuck that shit. Who wants to shoot downers?”
“To each his own.”
“Anyway, sure, I’ve got a bottle of
Seconal in the bathroom. Three of those
babies should put a little thing like you down for a good long time. Rikki, could you grab those for me?” Rikki nodded and went to look for them.
“I guess I’m not even going to ask
you why you have an entire bottle of prescription barbiturates,” Julie said,
sitting down on the couch.
C.C. grinned. “They’re useful after a few eightballs,” he
explained.
“I’m amazed you’re alive.”
“Aren’t we all.”
Rikki came out of the bathroom and
handed Julie three red capsules and a glass of water. She swallowed them immediately.
“Thanks.”
“Those work pretty quick,” C.C.
noted. “You might want to get yourself
downstairs.”
Julie sighed. “I’ll just sit here for a few minutes,” she
said. “If you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” Rikki said. “Stay as long as you want.”
“Yeah, we promise not to toilet
paper you in your sleep,” C.C. promised.
Julie managed a smile. “You’re always so gracious.”
“Any man who shares his Seconal is a
nice man.”
“And all this time I thought nice
men just opened doors.”
They sat in silence for a few
minutes and eventually Julie felt her eyelids getting heavy. She told herself to get up and go
downstairs, but her body didn’t seem to want to listen to her. As her eyes closed, she heard Rikki say,
“I’ll put her in bed.”
§
Julie forced her eyes open to see
who was shaking her. After a moment,
her vision became less blurry and she saw that it was Rikki who was sitting
next to her on the bed. It felt as
though she was moving through water, and her body ached. “Rikki?” she said groggily. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Fifteen hours,” he said. “I’m really sorry to wake you up.”
Julie forced herself to sit up and
yawned. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep up here, I’m
sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Rikki replied. “Don’t worry about it. Actually, though, we need your help.”
She tried to force some more of the
sleepiness away. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, you were probably already
expecting this, but the press got a hold of what happened with Bret. They’re outside our door right now, and
they’re not going to leave until they get a statement.”
Julie frowned. “They want to talk to me?”
Rikki nodded. “They know you’re the only one who’s seen
him since he went in, and besides, I suppose it’s ‘touching’ or something.”
“I feel like I took a hundred of
those pills last night,” Julie said, stretching. “Do they ever wear off?”
“Maybe you should have only taken
two,” Rikki said. “Do you think you’re
with it enough to give them a statement?”
“I suppose I have to be. Just let me go freshen up a little
bit.” She reluctantly pulled herself
out of bed and staggered into the bathroom, and cursed herself for not making
it back to her own room to go to sleep.
She was going to have to face these people disheveled and in yesterday’s
clothes; at least she had her purse.
Hurriedly, she applied makeup and smoothed out her hair as best she
could, then went into the living room.
Rikki and C.C. were sitting in two
of the chairs, but Bobby wasn’t in the room.
“He didn’t come back last night?” Julie asked.
“He was here for a little while, but
then he ran off again. I have no idea
what’s going on with him,” Rikki replied.
“He’s just a moody bastard,” C.C.
offered.
“Well, whatever. Let’s do this, I guess.”
“You sure?”
“I’d hate to see how the media would
butcher this story if no one said anything official.” Julie sat down on the couch and Rikki opened the door to the hallway. Immediately, the room filled with various
reporters toting cameras and microphones, and Julie recoiled. She’d never had to talk to the press without
Bret before.
They all started talking at once,
and Julie remained quiet, uncertain of who to answer first. Mercifully, C.C.’s loud voice quickly took
over. “All right,” he said firmly. “Julie will answer your questions as long as
they are asked in a calm and organized manner, and as long as she’s comfortable
answering them. So don’t be assholes,
or you’re leaving.”
“Miss Kinsington,” said a woman in
the front, “it is true that Bret Michaels was admitted to the hospital two days
ago, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Julie said. “He was taken in on Sunday evening.”
“Is it true that this incident was
drug-related?” asked someone else.
Julie blinked. “Absolutely not!” she said
emphatically. “Bret no longer uses
illicit drugs.” Usually, she
thought to herself.
“Why was he taken to the hospital?”
“A complication arose with his
diabetes,” Julie answered simply.
“Isn’t it true that using drugs
would further exacerbate his illness?” asked someone in the back.
Julie faltered a little. “Well, yes,” she said, “but like I said,
Bret no longer uses illicit drugs, so that is a non-issue.”
“How long will Mr. Michaels be in
the hospital, and will he make a full recovery?”
“He will be released tomorrow, and
yes, he is completely fine now.”
“What are your plans for the
immediate future?”
“We plan to leave Seattle and return
home tomorrow.”
“How are things between you and
Bret?”
Julie hesitated. “Bret and I… couldn’t be happier.” She thanked some higher power that Bobby
hadn’t been in the room to hear that.
“What are you plans for the future?”
“Well,” Julie began, uncertain of
how to proceed, “with everything that’s been going on lately – the tour, and
Bret’s illness, I…” she trailed off.
C.C. cut in. “I think that’s enough questions,” he
said. “You’re here to ascertain that
our lead singer isn’t hopped up on smack, not talk about his love life.” He stood up and began nudging them in the
direction of the door. With some
moderate protesting, they left.
“I’m sorry you had to do that,”
Rikki said.
Julie yawned. “It’s okay,” she said. “Now let’s just hope they don’t somehow
butcher anything I’ve said.”
“They will,” C.C. promised. “How did those pills work out for you last
night?”
“They appear to still be
working,” she replied. “I don’t think
I’ve ever slept that hard in my life.”
“Ah, barbiturates.”
“Well, boys, unless you need my
assistance in another matter, I think I’m going to head downstairs and try to
wake up.”
“I’ve got stuff for that, too,” C.C.
offered.
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Well, sweetie, if you need
anything, we’ll be up here,” Rikki said.
§
Julie awoke to knocking on the hotel
room door, and for a few minutes she just stayed where she was, half-hoping
that whoever was at the door would just go away. She still felt terrible, and she felt even more terrible now. She’d spent the remainder of the previous day
doing very little, and hadn’t even gone to see Bret. She had called him and explained that the Seconal had really
affected her and that she just couldn’t motivate herself to move, which wasn’t
entirely a lie, but it was still no excuse to not visit her hospitalized
boyfriend. She had also tried to
contact Sebastian at his hotel, but was told he’d checked out, much as she’d
expected. Afterwards, she found herself
somewhat glad that he wasn’t there, because she had no idea what to say to him,
anyway. Perhaps it really was for the
best that he’d left, although she was angry and admittedly somewhat hurt. The knock on the door came again and Julie
sighed inwardly. “Yeah?” she called
out.
“It’s Rikki.”
“Oh. Come on in.”
He came into the room. “I’m sorry to
wake you.”
“It’s all right. Sorry I didn’t answer sooner. I thought you might be the maid.”
“Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to let you know that C.C. went
to pick Bret up from the hospital. They
should be back in a bit.”
“Shit,” Julie said. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”
“When we called Bret, he said not
to. He said you’d been awfully tired
and he didn’t want you disturbed.”
Fresh guilt welled up in Julie. “What time is it?” she asked, for lack of
anything better to say.
“Noon,” Rikki said. “We’re on the 2:30 flight out of here.”
“Good thing I packed yesterday,
then.”
“You need anything?”
Julie shook her head. “No, I’m all right. Thanks for getting me up, though.”
“No problem. I’ll see you when we leave.” Rikki left the room.
Julie flopped back down on the bed,
still not quite having the motivation to get up and go through the motions of
getting ready to leave. The memory of
Sunday night played itself over and over in her head, and it made her cringe
every time. Being with Sebastian had
been an exquisite experience, more than she imagined it would be, but the guilt
for what she’d done was just as intense as the experience had been. Part of her wanted to confess the act to
Bret, let it spill out of her so that at least she didn’t have to carry the
weight of it secretly, but she knew that she couldn’t.
A few minutes later, Julie heard the
hotel room door open and kept her eyes closed.
“You awake, gorgeous?”
Julie forced herself to roll over
and smile at Bret. “Hiya, sexy.”
“Did I wake you?”
“Nah, Rikki came down and woke me up
a few minutes ago. I’m so sorry I
didn’t come with C.C. to get you, but no one woke me.”
“As per my express orders,” Bret
replied, and crawled onto the bed to lay next to her. “I hear C.C.’s sleeping pills knocked you down pretty hard.”
Julie nodded. “I felt like I was sleepwalking all day
yesterday. They did the job, though.”
“I also heard you had to talk to the
press yesterday.”
“Yeah. I hope I did an okay job with that.”
“C.C. and Rikki said you couldn’t
have been better. I’m sorry you had to
do that. They’re like vultures,” Bret
said.
“It’s okay,” Julie replied. “Besides, if I hadn’t done it, they would
have continued to think that you were in the hospital overdosing.” She paused.
“Which isn’t to say that they don’t still think that.”
“They do. If a member of the press sees one of us at the grocery story
buying eggs, they’d print a piece about how only junkies buy eggs.” He chuckled.
Julie smiled. “Are you feeling better?”
Bret raised an eyebrow. “I hope I look better than I did a few days
ago.”
“Of course you do. I’m just worried about you.”
Bret sighed. “Julie, I have to admit, you had something
to worry about on Sunday night, but I’m fine now. I promise.”
“Good. Then we can go home, right?”
Bret glanced at the clock. “We can leave for the airport in an
hour. You all packed?”
Julie nodded. “I managed to drag myself through that task
yesterday, somehow. Remind me never to
take three Seconal again.”
Bret grinned. “I’m willing to bet that C.C. knew damn well
you didn’t need that much.”
“Well, it didn’t kill me, so I guess
I’ll let it slide.” They were quiet for
a minute. “The hour before we get to go
home always seems so long.”
Bret moved so that he was above her,
his face close to hers. “I can think of
something we could do to pass the time.”
§
Julie sat in her bedroom staring out
the window at the rain that had been falling for days. Time absolutely flew when she and Bret were
at home; she could hardly believe they’d been back for over a month
already. Things had been okay for the
most part; every day that had gone by without a word from Sebastian made Julie
able to suppress her guilt a bit more.
Nothing could negate the severity of her actions, but it was getting
easier to just allow herself to be wrapped up in being at home with Bret.
However, Julie thought, nothing
could ever be perfect. There was always
something impossible to deal with, and this night was no exception.
“Hey, dollface.”
Julie turned away from watching the
rain. “Hi,” she said weakly.
“You’ve been sitting at that window
all night,” Bret said. “Penny for your
thoughts?”
Julie sighed. “I think this one’s worth a lot more than a
penny.”
Bret entered the room fully and sat
on the edge of the bed. “Something
bothering you?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Well, I know you’ve always liked
the rain, but this is overkill, don’t you think?”
Julie turned back to the
window. “What do you think is the worst
thing I could possibly tell you?”
Bret was quiet for a minute. “That you’re really a man.”
Julie didn’t laugh. “I think this might be worse than that.”
“Okay, you’re starting to scare me
now. What’s going on?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m late.”
“You’re late? What do you...” Bret trailed off and
remained silent for a long moment. “How
late?”
“A week,” Julie replied. “That may not sound like much, but I’ve
always been… I mean…” Even after seven months together, she found it weird to
discuss such matters with him.
“Fuck,” Bret said. “Julie… fuck.”
She turned back to him. “You’ve never been in this situation
before?”
“Ironically enough, no.” He hesitated. “I mean, no one ever stuck around that long… so no.”
“Yeah, well, me neither.”
“Okay, so what do we do?”
“We take a test.” She paused.
“Well, I mean, I do. I
already got one. I just haven’t gotten
up the nerve to take it yet. And I
thought I should wait until I told you, anyway.”
Bret nodded. “Okay, well, do you want to do that
now?” He didn’t seem to know what to
say.
Julie stood up. “Yeah,” she said. “I guess we might as well get it over with.” She walked over to the door. “I guess you can just wait here.”
“Okay.” Julie couldn’t remember a time when she’d seen Bret look quite so
nervous.
“It’ll only take a few
minutes.” She left the room and went
into the bathroom, where she had the test stuffed into a box of tampons. She laughed nervously at the irony of her
hiding place as she opened the package.
Trying not to think about the possible outcomes, Julie followed the
instructions then replaced the cap on the test and set it on the counter. The folded pamphlet in the box was easy
enough to understand – one pink line, no baby.
Two pink lines, baby. She went
through the motions of washing her hand and stared at her reflection in the
mirror. The face that gazed back at her
looked scared.
After a few minutes of contemplating
her face in the mirror, Julie forced herself to look at the test results. When she saw the two little pink lines, she
swallowed hard, and realized that somewhere in her head, she’d known the answer
was yes all along. She chucked the test
in the trash and went back into her bedroom.
Bret was sitting in front of the window
where Julie had previously been, and he looked at her when she came in. “Well?”
Julie took a deep breath. “What do you think we should do about it?”
Bret looked at her for a long moment
as he realized the meaning of her question.
For a long moment, he didn’t speak.
Then he sighed. “I have no
fucking idea what we should do about it.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.”
“I mean, Jules…” He hesitated. “Don’t you think this relationship is fucked
up enough without introducing someone else to it?”
Julie nearly choked on her own
spit. If he only knew. She cleared her throat. “Yes,” she said. “But I think it’s safe to assume that at this point, whether or
not we… ‘introduce someone else into it’… this relationship just got a lot more
fucked up.”
Bret ran a hand through his
hair. “Jesus fuck.” He stood up and began pacing a small area of
the room nervously. “Julie, I have no
idea what to say. I really don’t. I’m still not sure how to be a boyfriend,
much less a father.”
“Are you saying you want me to get
rid of it?”
“No!” He frowned. “Fuck, I
don’t know. I have no idea what I’m
saying.”
Julie sat at the edge of the
bed. “I really hope you don’t expect me
to figure this one out on my own.”
“Of course I don’t,” Bret said. He sighed again. “I just hope you don’t expect me to have any idea what to do.”
Julie sighed in response. “I don’t,” she said.
Bret sat down next to her. “This is more your decision than it is
mine. What do you think?”
“I have no idea,” Julie replied. “I really don’t.”
“Do you think that maybe you’re too
young?”
She snorted. “I’m too young for a lot of things. I’m too young to be the entertainment
committee at my father’s parties. I’m
too young to babysit two rock stars for a month. I’m definitely too young to be your girlfriend. My age has nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” He
paused. “Do you want to have
it?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I certainly never said to myself,
‘Gee, you know what I need? A
kid.’” She paused. “But I really don’t know if I’m capable of
making any other choice. That probably
sounds really weak of me, but…”
Bret shook his head. “It doesn’t sound weak,” he said. “I don’t know if I could go through with
that, either. I mean, you know, that I’d
want you to. That sounds
weak.”
Julie smiled a little. “Actually, it’s kind of nice to hear you say
that. I thought you might want me to do
that.”
“No. I don’t think I want you to.”
Julie looked at him. “You don’t?”
Bret took a breath. “No.
I mean, this might not exactly be the most ideal situation, but…” He trailed off.
“Wouldn’t it be too much for you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yeah, it would be hard, but hasn’t
everything been hard?”
“Well, yes, but don’t you think this
is just a little harder?”
“Yeah, it is, but it’s better than
the alternative.” He hesitated. “And besides, I couldn’t think of anyone I’d
rather have a baby with.”
Julie flinched at his words, but did
her best to hide it. As guilty as she
felt, it was nice to hear someone say that.
“I thought you’d want me to get rid of it,” she said quietly.
“If you would have asked me six or
seven months ago, I probably would have wanted you to get rid of it,” he
replied. “Things are different
now.” He put his arm around her and
pulled her closer to him.
“Are you sure about this?”
“As sure as I’ve been about anything
we’ve done,” Bret said.
Julie smiled a little. “That’s not very sure.”
“Hey, it’s been sure enough so far,
hasn’t it?”
Julie leaned against him. “Yeah, I guess it has.”
Bret put his hand on her
stomach. “Maybe this will be good for
me,” he said.
“How so?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll grow up a little bit.”
Julie laughed. “You’re going to have to. I’m already a mother of four.”
“Hey, we’re not that bad!”
“Haven’t you ever heard me
have to tell C.C. that yes, it is a bad idea to eat pizza that you find under a
couch cushion?”
“We’re glad when he’s sober enough
to eat at all.”
“I think you just clarified my
point.”
“Okay, fine. Fair enough. But the boys will just have to get a new nanny. I’m taking you off duty.”
“I’m not out of commission,” Julie
replied. “I’m not that pregnant
yet.”
“How pregnant do you have to be
before I’m allowed to baby you?”
Julie grinned. “Well, if you put it that way.”
“Seriously,” Bret said, “I have no
idea how to act or anything.”
“You don’t have to act any
certain way.”
“Well, I mean, what am I supposed to
do? Do you need anything?”
“Honey, I’m fine. Really.
I still have use of my legs and everything.”
“Hey, you don’t have to make fun of
me. I’ve never been pregnant before.”
“And hopefully you never will be,”
Julie retorted. “Anyway, neither have
I, so I guess we’ll both just have to play this by ear.”
“Well, I must warn you that I’m
likely to fuck up somehow.”
Julie had to bite back a sudden urge
to tell Bret the whole twisted story.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, trying her best to sound normal.
“Jules, what about your dad?”
Julie sighed. “I don’t even want to think about my
father,” she said. “And luckily, I
don’t have to yet. He won’t be back for
at least another two weeks.”
“You’re right. Let’s just take one thing at a time, I
guess.”
“Good call.” She yawned.
“Tired?”
She nodded. “Yeah.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant or because I’m so worried
about being pregnant.”
“Maybe it’s because it’s the middle
of the night,” Bret offered.
“That, too. Let’s go to bed.”
§
Julie staggered out of the bathroom
and collapsed into bed next to Bret, breathing heavily.
Bret looked at her, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, although she
still felt like hell. “I guess this is
morning sickness.” She glanced at the
clock. “Afternoon sickness. Whatever.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m okay. We should probably make an appointment with
a doctor, though.”
Bret nodded. “Absolutely.” He paused. “I thought
we’d tell the guys tonight.”
Julie blinked. “Already?”
In reality, she didn’t want to tell the band at all; at least, not
Bobby.
“Sure,” Bret said. “Aren’t you excited?”
She looked at him, and his happiness
was clearly written on his face. “Of
course I am,” she said after a moment.
“Yeah, give them a call. I’ll go
get dressed.”
“Are you sure? I don’t have to.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure their reaction will be
priceless.” She gave him a quick kiss
and climbed out of bed.
Bret reached for the phone and
punched a few numbers in. “It’s Bret,”
he said into the receiver. “Yeah,
everything’s fine. Listen, get Bobby
and C.C. and come over.” Julie grabbed
some clothes from the closet and listened.
“No, seriously, nothing’s wrong.
But it’s important, so hurry up.”
Julie bit her lip. “Okay, I’ll
see you in a bit.” He hung up the
phone. “They’ll be here soon.”
Julie forced a smile. “Great.
Do you want to make some coffee or something while I get dressed?”
“Fuck coffee. Your dad has champagne, right?”
“Of course.”
“News like this deserves more than
coffee,” Bret said, getting out of bed.
He looked at her. “You don’t
look too thrilled.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just my stomach,” Julie said, only
half-lying. Her stomach did feel
horrible, but she guessed that was only partially due to morning sickness. “I’ll be fine, really.”
Bret grabbed a pair of jeans from
the closet and pulled them on. “All
right,” he said. “I’ll see you
downstairs. If you need me, just yell.”
Julie mechanically went through the
motions of getting dressed and making herself look presentable. By all accounts, pregnancy and motherhood
were supposed to be the most incredible achievements in a woman’s life, but she
wasn’t feeling very incredible. More
than anything, she found herself missing her own mother.
She fought back tears as she ran a
brush through her hair. Luckily, she
thought offhandedly, bursting into tears at random probably wasn’t very unusual
for newly pregnant women. Julie wasn’t
sure if she could go through the rest of her life with the secret fear that
this baby wasn’t even Bret’s. Part of
her wasn’t even sure if she could go through the rest of her life—
“Jules? You okay?” Bret called up the stairs.
“I’m fine,” she called back. “I’m on my way down.” She put the brush down and slowly made her
way downstairs and into the living room, where Bret had a bottle of champagne
in ice. “Sorry I took so long.”
“It’s okay,” Bret said. “I just wanted to make sure you were all
right.”
His kindness made Julie’s position
even more difficult. Part of her wanted
to tell him the truth just so that he would stop being so nice to her when she
didn’t deserve it, but she couldn’t even begin to comprehend how devastated
he’d be. He seemed so genuinely happy
about all of this, which had come as a total surprise. She thought he’d hate the idea of having a
child. She forced herself to stop
thinking. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just tired.”
The front door swung open and the
rest of the band walked in. Julie gave
everyone hugs, and didn’t look Bobby in the eye when he half-heartedly put his
arms around her. When she hugged Rikki,
the last one in the door, she held on a little longer than necessary. He looked down at her and said, too low for
anyone else to hear, “You okay, kiddo?”
She looked up at him. Rikki had always been the brotherly
sweetheart of the band, always ready with an open ear and he never took
sides. Julie desperately wanted to just
drag him outside and confess the whole story to him, but she knew she
couldn’t. She forced a smile. “Sure, I’m fine.” She released her grip on him.
“Just missed you,” she added, and that part wasn’t a lie.
“What’s the champagne for?” C.C. asked, eyeing the bottle.
Bret grinned. “I have some good news.”
Rikki grinned back. “Are you two getting married?”
Julie and Bret exchanged a
glance. “Maybe we will,” Bret said, and
Julie took a deep breath. “But that’s
not what this celebration is about.”
“Did you convince her to get your
name tattooed on her ass?” C.C. guessed.
“There wouldn’t be any room for
yours if I did that,” Julie retorted.
“You’ve got two cheeks.”
“All right, enough,” Bret said,
laughing. “Honey, do you want to tell
them?”
Julie felt herself flush. “No, go ahead,” she said, looking at him to
avoid looking at anyone else.
“Well,” Bret said, practically
glowing, “I guess there’s no clever way to put it. Julie and I are going to have a baby.”
For a moment, there was stunned
silence in the room. Julie still didn’t
turn her eyes from Bret.
“Well, hell!” Rikki said
finally. “That IS cause for
celebration!”
“Fucking A!” C.C. chimed in. “You’re going to be all FAT!”
Bret laughed. “She’ll still be beautiful.”
Julie did her best to smile. “We’ll see how you feel about that in a few
months.”
“We’ll see what you call him
when you’re in labor,” Rikki joked.
Bret laughed, then noticed that
Bobby was silent. “Hey, Bobby,” he
said, “why the long face?”
Bobby stood up straighter and
cleared his throat. “I’m just not sure
I’m as excited about this as you guys are,” he said stiffly.
Julie felt the pit of her stomach
twist into a knot. She tried to think
of something to say in order to create a diversion, but came up blank.
“What do you mean?” Bret asked,
frowning.
“Well,” Bobby replied coolly,
putting his cigarette out, “I’d be a lot more inclined to congratulate you,
Bret, if I was certain this was your baby.”
Julie felt her knees go weak and
slid down the wall onto the carpet.
Bret stared at Bobby for a minute, disbelieving, then turned to
Julie. “Are you all right?”
Julie looked up at him. He looked genuinely concerned, and she
realized he hadn’t yet really realized what Bobby had just said to him. She considered saying no, making something
up, even going to the hospital to keep
this conversation from happening.
Instead, she just nodded.
Bret looked at her for another
minute and turned back to Bobby. “What
did you say?”
“I’ll assume you don’t actually want
me to repeat myself, but that you want an explanation.” Bobby’s voice was cold.
“What’s going on?” Rikki chimed in,
sensing the discomfort in the room.
Julie stole a glance at him, but Bobby and Bret were staring at each
other, and C.C. was watching them like a tennis match.
“Well, Bret,” Bobby continued, “you
know how much we all love Julie. Don’t
we, guys?” Julie could feel his eyes on
her, although she didn’t look up.
“Of course we do,” Rikki put in, but
no one else spoke.
“Bobby, what the fuck are you on
about?” Bret said, getting annoyed.
“You’d better have a good reason for trying to ruin such an important
night.”
“Oh, believe me,” Bobby said, “I
doubt there’s a better reason. I
probably should have brought this up sooner, but really, what better time?”
“Bobby…” Rikki put in weakly.
“The night that you went into the
hospital was a pretty dramatic night for all of us,” Bobby continued, ignoring
Rikki. “Everyone was worried about you,
and everyone was, of course, worried about poor Julie. It’s a good thing you had Baz stay with
her.” He smiled a little. “But of course, that didn’t stop any of us
from worrying, so the next morning, I came down personally, just to make sure
she was okay. And what do I find, but
the two of them, just as cozy as you please, in bed together?”
“There’s only one bed in the room,”
Rikki put in. Julie glanced up at him
and met his eyes for a second, and tried to look grateful for his attempts,
even if they were utterly worthless.
Bobby glanced at Rikki. “That doesn’t mean they had to take off
their clothes to sleep in it.”
The surprise in the room could be
plainly felt. Julie forced herself to
look around the room. Rikki was looking
at Bobby, clearly shocked. C.C was
staring at the floor, and Bobby was watching Bret’s reaction. She finally turned to look at Bret, who
turned slowly to face her.
“Julie,” he said evenly, “Is that
true?”
Julie bit her lip. “I…”
She had no idea how to respond to that, especially with four pairs of
ears hanging on her every word. She
knew the expression on her face would give Bret the answer to his question,
anyway.
Bret’s face slowly melted into a
picture of perfect devastation. It
killed Julie to look at him, and she turned away, waiting for someone to
speak. No one did. She looked up a little and watched Bret’s
feet as he got up from the couch and silently walked out of the house.
One by one, she watched three other
pairs of feet follow Bret’s. Bobby
laughed on his way out. Rikki turned,
and Julie met his gaze for just a second before he looked away and left.
For a long time, Julie stayed where
she was on the carpet, staring at the floor, not quite sure what to do
next. She supposed there weren’t really
many options, and so just stayed where she was, not really thinking or feeling
anything. After what was probably several
hours, the phone rang, jarring her. For
a minute, she just watched it ring, then reached over and picked it up. “Hello,” she said flatly.
“Jule? That you?”
Julie closed her eyes. “Yes, Sebastian, it’s me. Has anyone ever told you that your timing is
unbelievable?”
“Am I interrupting something? If I am, tell Bret I said hi.”
“No, you aren’t. There’s not much to interrupt over here,”
Julie said dryly. “To what do I owe the
honor, Sebastian?”
“You don’t sound well, Julie.” There was a hint of concern in his voice.
“I’ve been better. What do you want?”
“I was hoping I could come over and
we could talk, actually.”
“What are you doing in town?”
“Visiting you,” he said hopefully.
Julie sighed. “Sebastian… I’m going to let you come over—“
“I can be there in fifteen.”
“Let me finish. I’m going to let you come over, and we can
talk, but I doubt you’ll like what gets said.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Are you okay, Jule?”
“No, Sebastian. No, I’m really not okay.” Without waiting for a response, she hung up
the phone.
§
Julie was still sitting on the floor
when she heard the front door open, and she looked up enough to watch
Sebastian’s long legs coming toward her.
He extended a hand, and she looked at it for a moment before accepting
it and standing up.
“What’s going on, doll?” Sebastian
asked softly. He pulled her against
him.
For just a few seconds, Julie
relaxed against him, breathing in his scent.
Then she pulled away and walked towards the kitchen, where she stood in
front of the sink, not looking at him.
“Julie? What’s wrong?”
Julie closed her eyes. “I’m pregnant, Sebastian,” she said, not
even trying to sugarcoat the news.
Sebastian was quiet for a
minute. “Well, shit,” he said in a
strained voice, “where’s that bastard Bret?
Sounds like congratulations are in order.”
Julie turned and looked at him. “You do realize that you may very well be
congratulating yourself, Sebastian.”
She watched the realization settle over his face before continuing. “As for where Bret is, I have no idea. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear that he
might not be the father.”
Sebastian grabbed a bottle of
Absolut from the counter and took a long swallow. “And where did he get that idea?” He sat down heavily at the table.
“Bobby,” Julie replied flatly.
Sebastian shook his head a few
times, back and forth. “How the… what
happened?”
“Well,” Julie said, sitting across
from him, “We found out I was pregnant yesterday, and for some perverse reason,
Bret was very happy about this news. So
of course he immediately wanted to tell the guys, and when they all found out
tonight, Bobby sort of crashed the party.”
“You’re telling me that Bobby just
came out with the fact that we… right in the middle of the celebration?” Sebastian took another deep swallow from the
bottle of vodka.
“Yep,” Julie said. “And after that, everybody just sort of…
left.”
“Did Bret say anything?”
“No. What could he say, I guess.”
“Jesus. Are you okay?”
“Of course I’m not okay.” She hesitated. “Sebastian, what if he doesn’t come back?”
Sebastian cleared his throat. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s Bret.
Of course he’ll come back.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Julie
insisted.
Sebastian took another sip from the
bottle and looked at Julie for a long moment.
“Well,” he said finally, “first of all, he’ll come back. But, in the unlikely event that he doesn’t…
well, I’d have no fucking idea what I’d be doing, but I’ll be here for you, in
whatever capacity you need me to be.”
Julie looked away. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think I could do that.”
“Do what?”
“You know,” she replied. “Have an abortion. I don’t know if I could.”
“I wasn’t necessarily talking about
that,” Sebastian said. He sounded a bit
hurt.
“Oh,” Julie said. “I’m sorry.
I mean, I just assumed that’s what you would do.”
“It is what I’d do,”
Sebastian agreed. “But I think we’ve
proven that you’re the exception that makes every rule.”
Julie met his gaze, and just then,
the front door banged open. “Jules?”
came Bret’s voice.
“Fuck,” Julie said to no one in
particular. She stood up, and Sebastian
followed her lead.
Bret came into the kitchen. “Julie, we have to—“ He stopped when he saw Sebastian. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Without waiting for a response, he crossed
the room in quick strides and punched Sebastian square in the face.
Sebastian stumbled backwards a few
steps and brought a hand to his face, holding the other one out in front of
himself. Bret was about to hit him
again when he said, “Okay, I deserved that.”
Bret stopped and pulled his hand
down. “I’m glad you can admit that,” he
said stiffly.
Sebastian stood up straight and
rubbed at his face. “If you want to hit
me again, go ahead.”
Bret sighed. “I’m not going to fucking hit you again,” he
said. “Although god knows I should.”
“I don’t think fighting is going to
solve anything, anyway,” Julie put in quietly.
Bret turned to face her. “Julie,” he said, “right now I am so angry
with you that I’m surprised I’m standing here.” The calm in his voice was eery, Julie thought. “What is it you suggest we do, exactly, if
not fight?”
“She’s right, man,” Sebastian
said. “We can beat the shit out of each
other, maybe hit the pregnant girl for good measure, but what good is that
going to do us?”
Bret frowned. “All right, fine,” he said. “You have a point. And anyway, I guess we should prioritize. Our first priority should be to find out
just whose baby this is.”
“We can do that in the morning,”
Julie put in. “First thing.”
“Yeah,” Bret said, and looked at
Sebastian. “You, meanwhile, aren’t
leaving my fucking sight. You have a
knack for running when things get touchy.”
“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Sebastian
countered.
“Don’t fucking start with me,” Bret
growled. “I’m sure neither one of us is
going to sleep, so grab your bottle and we’ll stay in the living room tonight.”
Julie’s stomach flipped over when
she heard Bret say that he wasn’t going to sleep with her, but she supposed
that was par for the course and that she should be lucky he’d even come
back. “I guess I’ll sleep in my father’s
room,” she said. “Or not sleep,
anyway. So, um… if anyone needs me…”
She trailed off.
“Set your alarm for 9am,” Bret
instructed. “If we’re passed out, wake
us up.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t expect me to tuck you in,”
Bret said, and walked out.
Sebastian turned to her. “You know I’d rather be upstairs with you.”
Julie didn’t look at him. “I know,” she said. “That wouldn’t be very wise.”
“Yeah,” he said. “But if you’re not okay alone up there, come
and get me. I don’t care what he does.”
Julie forced herself to look at
him. “Thanks.”
§
The waiting room was practically
empty while they waited for the doctor to call them back in. Julie had spent a long time with the doctor,
who had examined her thoroughly and stuck her with needles, while she accepted
the examination numbly. Bret and
Sebastian had met with him privately, and none of them spoke as they waited.
Finally, the doctor appeared and
motioned for them to follow him into his office, where they sat. “Well, Miss Kinsington,” he began, “first I
should tell you that so far, your baby is perfectly normal and healthy. As per the request of these gentleman, we
did just about every test possible, and everything seems just fine.”
“Thank you,” Julie said quietly.
“You’re welcome. Now, I have to ask you what might be an
uncomfortable question, but I’m afraid I really don’t have a choice in the
matter.”
“What is it?”
“Is it possible that anyone besides
these two gentlemen could be the father of your baby?”
“What? No, of course not!” Julie said.
“There must be some mistake.”
“I’m afraid not,” the doctor
replied. “These tests are accurate.”
Julie looked first at Sebastian, who was staring intently
at the floor, and then at Bret. She had
never seen rage in his eyes the way she did on this morning. “Jesus fucking Christ, Julie,” he spat
out. “What the fuck have I been doing
for the past eight months?” He rose
to his feet and began to leave, then turned out the doorway. “Actually, I guess the question should be, who
have you been doing?” He left.
For
a moment, Julie sat in stunned silence, then looked at Sebastian, unsure of
what to say. He looked back at her,
then turned back to the doctor.
“Listen,” he said, “if the lady says there’s a mistake here, then
there’s a mistake here. Julie isn’t a
liar.”
The
doctor shifted his weight uncomfortably.
“I’m not trying to insult anyone,” he said carefully. “I can do the tests again, if you’d like.”
“Yes,
we would,” Sebastian said firmly.
“Very
well. I’ll be here for the rest of the
day.” He paused, scribbling something
on a prescription pad. “I’m prescribing
a mild sedative, Miss Kinsington, just in case you need it. You can fill this right at the pharmacy in
the building. It shouldn’t take more
than a few minutes.”
Julie
took the paper. “Thank you.”
“We’ll
be back shortly,” Sebastian said.
“Julie, come on.” He rose to his
feet.
Julie
rose mechanically and followed Sebastian downstairs. They remained silent while they filled Julie’s prescriptions,
then went outside. She didn’t speak
until they had been driving for a while.
“Where are we going?”
“Rikki’s
house,” Sebastian said.
“Why?”
Julie asked, although Rikki’s house didn’t sound like a bad idea.
“Because
it’s the only place I can think of that Bret would go right now.”
Julie
swallowed. “Sebastian,” she began
uncertainly, “I wasn’t lying in there.”
He
looked at her, then back at the road.
“I know you weren’t,” he said after a minute.
“Do
you really believe me?”
He
swallowed. “Yes, I do. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but
yes, I believe you.”
Julie
watched Sebastian closely as they drove the rest of the short distance to the
house Rikki had rented. She couldn’t
quite decide what emotions he was feeling, and all she really felt at the
moment was amazement at how well he was taking this whole situation. Normally, by now, Sebastian would have taken
off as quickly as he could, not to be heard from for months.
They
pulled into Rikki’s driveway and Sebastian turned the car off. He turned to Julie. “Can you handle whatever’s about to happen,
or do you want me to go in by myself?”
Julie
took a deep breath, wishing she could tell him to go in alone. “No,” she said. “I’ll go in. This isn’t
your mess.” She paused. “Well, it isn’t just your mess,
anyway.”
They
made their way to the front door and stood on the step for a minute listening
to the yelling coming from within.
“I
can’t fucking believe this! I really
thought that girl was different!” Bret was yelling. “Now I find out she’s been fucking god knows how many other
guys!”
“This
isn’t going to be pretty,” Sebastian warned, and pushed the front door
open. Somewhere in the back of her
head, Julie had the thought that rock stars didn’t lock their doors as often as
they should.
Rikki
was sitting on the couch and looked up at them when they came in. “Hi,” he said
quietly.
Bret
turned around. “Oh, what a total
surprise that you two are here together,” he said coldly. “Bring any other friends, Julie?”
Julie
looked at the floor and bit her lip, doing her best not to cry.
“Look,”
Sebastian said evenly, “calm down, Bret.
Screaming at her isn’t going to change anything.”
“When
the fuck did you become Mother fucking Theresa?”
Sebastian
ignored his comment. “If Julie says she
didn’t do anything else, then she didn’t do anything else,” he said.
Bret
laughed in an unamused way. “What the
hell are you talking about, Baz? Has it
not occurred to you that she must have slippery morals in order to have slept
with you? Why not someone else,
too?”
Sebastian
hesitated, but only for a second.
“Because I love her,” he said finally.
“And I believe her.”
Bret
just started at him mutely for a minute.
“Because you love her,” he repeated, and Julie couldn’t quite
make out the emotion in his tone.
“Yes,
I do,” Sebastian replied, “and I have no idea what could have happened, but if
she says she didn’t sleep with anyone else, then as far as I’m concerned, she
didn’t.”
“What
the fuck is the matter with you?!” Bret said, furious. “Think about what you’re-“
“Wait,”
Rikki interjected. It wasn’t like him
to interrupt, or get involved in a fight, so three pairs of eyes turned on him.
“What?”
Sebastian asked.
“I
just thought of something,” Rikki said.
“I swear, this never occurred to me until right now, guys.” He took a breath and looked at Bret. “Do you remember when you were in the
hospital-“
“How
could I forget,” Bret said flatly.
“Do
you remember when you were in the hospital,” Rikki continued, undaunted, “and
C.C. gave Julie too much Seconal and she passed out in our hotel room?”
“Oh,
what, did you guys pass her around that night?” Bret snorted.
“Of
course not,” Rikki said, sounding wounded.
“But that night, Bobby came home, drunk out of his mind, and he went in
the bedroom with her. He was in there
for hours. We didn’t think anything of
it, of course… until now.”
Julie’s
blood turned to ice. “Bobby was in
there with me?”
“Yeah,”
Rikki said. “Do you remember at all?”
Julie
shook her head. “I don’t remember that
night at all,” she said. “I don’t even
really remember the day after that.”
Bret
furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait, Rikki,
what are you saying?”
“I
don’t know if I’m saying anything,” Rikki said. “I don’t want to even consider that anything may have happened,
but it seemed like something that should be brought to your attention.”
“You’re
telling me,” Bret said slowly, “that my bassist raped my girlfriend.”
“I’m
not telling you any such thing,” Rikki replied. “I’m just telling you that he was in there
that night, and I thought maybe that information might be important
somehow.” He looked nervous.
Bret
looked at Julie, then at Sebastian.
“You know,” he said evenly, “I think that Bobby has caused enough
trouble for this band.”
Sebastian
nodded. “You know him better than I
do. Would he do… that?”
Julie
wanted to speak, but had no idea what to say.
She knew she couldn’t defend Bobby, but she prayed that he wasn’t that
terrible.
“I’d
like to say no,” Bret replied, “but after what happened with Marcella…”
“What
did happen with Marcella?” Julie put in. “The day… the morning after you went into the hospital, he said
something about ‘after what Bret did to Marcella…’”
Bret
frowned. “What the hell are you talking
about?” He sounded less furious, but
still clearly angry.
“I
don’t know,” Julie said, afraid to meet his gaze. “That’s all he said.”
“I
didn’t fucking do anything to Marcella, unless he means saving her from
ending up dead,” Bret said.
“That doesn’t support Bobby’s case, though, now does it?” He looked back at Sebastian.
“No,
it doesn’t,” Sebastain replied, and Julie could hear the anger creeping into
his voice as well. “What do you suppose
we should do about that?”
“I
think we need to pay Bobby a little visit,” Bret said. His hands were in fists at his sides.
“Guys,”
Julie said, but had nothing to follow it with.
“He
can’t get away with doing that to you,” Sebastian said.
“Well,
we don’t know that-“ Rikki began.
Bret
snorted. “It seems pretty fucking clear
to me.”
“Me,
too,” Sebastian agreed.
“All
right, Baz,” Bret said, “I’m putting aside the part where I want to gut you
like a fish for the time being. We have
bigger fish to fry right now.”
“Guys,”
Julie said, more insistently, “I don’t know how good of an idea that is.”
“What? This, from the queen of good ideas?” Bret
demanded. “Would you rather we stay
here, and I take out my anger on you?”
“Bret,
calm down,” Sebastian said. “You’re
about to go kill Bobby because he hurt this girl, think about what you’re
saying.”
“My
intense hatred of Bobby right now does not negate the fact that all of this
happened,” Bret said, “but you’re right.
Come on, let’s go.”
“Damn
it,” Julie said, “I need to get home somehow.”
It was a desperate attempt.
“You
can stay here as long as you want,” Rikki put in quietly, not looking at
anyone.
“Thank
you, Rikki,” Julie said. “Really. But I have to get back to my house.”
Bret
sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“All right,” he said after a minute, “come on. I’ll drive you back to your house.”
Julie
looked at Sebastian. “Maybe I should
take her,” he said to Bret.
“What? Why should you drive my girlfriend home?”
“I’m
still your girlfriend?”
Both
of them ignored her. “Well, you haven’t
seemed to want to be around her thus far,” Sebastian replied.
“I
can take care of this myself,” Bret said coldly.
“Is
that okay with you, Jule?” Sebastian asked her.
Julie’s
mind raced. She had no idea what
exactly was ‘okay’ with her at the moment.
“It’s fine,” she said, because that seemed like the easiest thing to
say.
“I’ll
follow you back to the house,” Sebastian said, looking at Bret. “We’ll go from there.”
“All
right, fine. Julie, let’s go.”
The
drive back to Julie’s house went on for a while in total silence, Bret staring
intently at the road. Finally, he
spoke. “Why did you do it, Julie?”
“You
know I don’t have an answer for that,” she said quietly.
Bret
didn’t press the issue as they pulled into the driveway, Sebastian close behind
them. The three went into the house.
“Now
what?” Julie asked.
“Now
you take one of the pills the doctor gave you,” Sebastian said gently. “You need to get some rest.”
“What
pills?” Bret asked.
“It’s
just Valium,” Julie said quietly.
“Is
that safe? I mean…” Bret trailed off,
seeming to regret that he’d asked.
“It’s
fine,” Julie said.
“You’d
have known that if you hadn’t walked out,” Sebastian pointed out.
“Thank
you, Dr. Bach,” Bret said snidely.
“Anyway, I think Baz is right.
You should get some sleep.”
Julie
didn’t protest as Sebastian handed her one of the small blue pills and a glass
of water. She swallowed the pill
quickly. “What are you guys going to
do?”
“Nothing,”
Bret said quickly. “I guess we have
some things to talk about.”
“You’re
not going to do anything rash, are you?”
“Of
course not,” Sebastian promised her.
“Just go upstairs and lie down.”
“Okay,”
Julie said, although she wasn’t sure she believed them. “You’ll be down here?”
“Sure,”
Bret said unconvincingly.
Julie,
unsure of just what else to do, turned and went upstairs. Sebastian turned to Bret. “What do you want to talk about?”
Bret
snorted. “Are you kidding? I don’t think we have very much to say to
each other. We’re going to Bobby’s.”
§
“If
you plan on raping your bandmate’s girlfriend,” Bret said, unlocking Bobby’s
door, “best not to give that person a spare key to your house.” They slipped inside quietly and poked around
the downstairs, which was empty.
“I
hope he’s here,” Sebastian said.
“He’s
here. His car’s out front. He must be upstairs.”
“Bret?”
“What.”
“You
never… did anything to Marcy, right?”
Bret
looked at him. “Of course I didn’t,” he
said. “In fact, in case you don’t
recall, I did a lot less than she wanted me to.”
“Yeah. Sorry, I just had to ask.”
“I’ll
be offended later. Come on.”
They
made their way upstairs, and heard the shower running behind the closed
bathroom door. Almost gracefully, Bret
pulled back and kicked the door, hard.
The shower stopped immediately.
“What the fuck?” came Bobby’s voice from inside.
“Get
out here, asshole,” Bret said through the door.
“What
the hell is going on?”
“You
know damn well what’s going on,” Sebastian said. “Get the fuck out here, before we break down the fucking door.”
“Break
it down, then. I’m not coming out until
someone tells me what the hell is up.”
Bret
kicked the door again. “Open the
fucking door, you rapist fuck!”
“Rapist
fuck?!” Bobby demanded, and now he sounded just as angry. “What the fuck are you talking about,
Michaels? I believe you have that
backwards.”
“Excuse
me? What the fuck do you mean,
backwards?”
“Look,
if you want to talk about this, I’ll come out,” Bobby said. “That is, if you’re not going to stab me.”
Bret
looked at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow.
Sebastian shrugged. “Okay,” Bret
said, “I won’t kill you until after you tell me what the hell you’re talking
about.”
A
minute later, the bathroom door opened, and Bobby came out. He looked from Sebastian to Bret. “Step into my office, gentlemen,” he said
sarcastically and went downstairs, where he went into the kitchen and sat at
the table. “I’d offer you drinks, but this
isn’t exactly a social call.”
“You’re
right, it isn’t,” Sebastian said. “And
I suggest you start talking.”
Bobby
looked at Bret. “What the fuck is he
even doing here?”
“That
doesn’t matter,” Bret said. “He
suggested correctly. You can either
start talking, or we can kill you.”
“Whatever,”
Bobby said. “Where the fuck do you get
off coming in here and calling me a fucking rapist?”
“If
you don’t like the title, perhaps you should have considered that before you
decided to be one,” Sebastian suggested.
“What?
Who the fuck did I rape?”
“Oh,
knock it the fuck off, Bobby, you know damn well who,” Bret said angrily. “And fucking pussy that you are, you even
made sure she was doped up on pills first!”
Bobby
frowned. “Are you talking about Julie?”
he asked incredulously.
“Of
course I’m talking about Julie! Who the
fuck else would I be talking about?”
“You’re
accusing me of raping your girlfriend?”
“Sounds
that way,” Sebastian put in.
“Bret,
I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been sticking up your nose, but if memory
serves, you were the one who raped my girlfriend.”
Bret
looked at him. “What? Marcy?
What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Well,
isn’t that how it went down, Bret?” Bobby said, regaining his composure. “After you oh-so-valiantly got her away from
evil, abusive me, you went to visit her, and thought maybe she owed you a
little something? And when she didn’t
want to give it, you took it, anyway.”
Sebastian
exhaled. “She told you that?”
“Of
course she did,” Bobby said. “Why
wouldn’t she?”
“I
don’t know, maybe because it didn’t happen?” Bret said, angry. “Why the fuck would I ever rape Marcy? Why would I ever want to hurt her?”
“I
don’t fucking know, Bret,” Bobby said, but he sounded a little less sure of
himself now.
“That’s
fucking absurd,” Bret said. “Frankly,
I’m surprised you’d even believe it.”
“Well,
you seem pretty quick to believe it when your girlfriend cries rape on me!”
“She
didn’t cry rape on anyone,” Sebastian put in.
“The paternity test results say that neither of us is the father.”
“So? That just means she’s even more of a slut
than we thought she was,” Bobby said.
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“She’s
not a slut,” Sebastian said. “And you
know what it has to do with you. Rikki
told us you spent hours in her room the night C.C. gave her too much Seconal.”
“Yeah,
and? I went in there, drunk as hell,
and saw her in there, and tried to wake her up so I could talk to her about
what happened. I was actually planning
to tell her all about what Marcella told me.
She wouldn’t wake up, though, and eventually I passed out on the
floor. I sure as shit didn’t fuck
her. Hell, I don’t think I could have
fucked anyone that night if I’d tried.”
Bret
and Sebastian exchanged a glance.
“Well, just for the record,” Bret said, “nothing ever happened between
Marcy and I, and it wasn’t for a lack of effort on her part.”
Sebastian
rose to his feet. “Come on, let’s go,”
he said.
“Where
are we going?” Bobby asked, standing as well.
“Back
to the doctor’s office,” Sebastian said.
“I told him we’d be back to retake the test, but it looks like we might
have found the father.”
Bobby
sighed. “Look, I’ll fucking go and let
them take the test, just to fucking show you that I never touched Julie.”
“Well,”
Bret said, rising, “if that’s the case, then you don’t have to worry about them
finding pieces of you in four states.”
§
The
three men sat in the doctor’s office, waiting for him to come in. When he did, he greeted them. “Welcome back, Mr. Bach, Mr.
Michaelson.” He extended a hand to
Bobby. “I’m Dr. Cambria. You must be Mr. Dall.”
Bobby
shook his hand stiffly. “Yeah.”
“It’s
Michaels,” Bret said. “Not Michaelson.”
Dr.
Cambria looked down at his clipboard and flipped through some papers,
frowning. “Your name isn’t Christian
Michaelson?”
Bret
frowned. “No. It’s Bret Michaels.” He
paused. “Why? Is there some mix-up?”
“Oh,
dear,” the doctor said, and cleared his throat nervously. “Yes, there must be. If you’ll excuse me for just one
moment…?” He ducked out.
Sebastian
looked at Bret. “Can we sue for this?”
“Probably.”
“Are
we going to sue for this?”
“No,
Sebastian, we are not.”
“See? I told you I didn’t touch her.”
“Shut
up, Bobby.”
The
doctor came back in and sat at his desk.
“Gentlemen, I really don’t know how to tell you this, but it seems my
nurse confused your paperwork, and thought that you were Mr. Michaelson,
rather than Mr. Michaels,” he said. “I
realize the amount of confusion this has caused you, and I really am
frightfully sorry.”
“Does
this change the results of the test?” Bret asked.
“Yes,
actually, it does,” Dr. Cambria said.
“As it turns out, Mr. Michaels, you are indeed the father of Miss
Kinsington’s baby. Now normally, we
don’t give the results of these tests without the mother present, but given
the… ah, unusual circumstances, we’re making an exception this time. Again, I really am awfully sorry about the
confusion.”
“Thank
you,” Bret said, clearly uncertain of what else to say. He rose, and Sebastian and Bobby followed
him.
When
they got to the parking lot, Bret turned to Bobby. “I guess I owe you an apology,” he said cautiously.
“Yeah,”
Bobby said and sighed. “I guess I owe
you one, too. I shouldn’t have believed
Marcy.”
“And
I shouldn’t have thought that you’d ever hurt Julie,” Bret replied. “Or me.”
“Yeah,
yeah,” Sebastian said. “This homo stuff
is really sweet and all, but don’t you think maybe we should go talk to Julie?”
“Yeah,
you’re right,” Bret said. “Bobby, do
you want us to drop you off at your place?”
“Nah,”
Bobby said. “I think I need to just
wander around for a while, clear my head.”
“You
sure?”
“Yeah. Go do what you need to do. Give me a call later or whatever.” He walked away.
“Well,
let’s do this, I guess,” Bret said, and climbed into the car.
Sebastian
climbed in after him. “So what happens
now?”
Bret
began to drive. “I don’t know,” he
said. “I haven’t known since this whole
fucked up thing started.”
“I
guess I should just disappear,” Sebastian said, but he didn’t sound like he
meant it.
Bret
sighed. “I don’t know, man,” he
said. “This whole thing is just so
bizarre. Part of me wants to say we’ve
been through worse than this together.”
“But
we really haven’t.”
“Yeah,”
Bret agreed. “And I’m not going to lie,
I really want to break several bones in your body for sleeping with her.”
“I
can’t argue with that.”
“But
I don’t know,” Bret continued. “I think
I’d feel like a twelve-year-old girl if I pulled some kind of ‘well, I’m not
your friend anymore’ deal.”
Sebastian
nodded. “You’d look terrible as a
twelve-year-old girl,” he noted.
Bret
ignored the remark. “So just don’t do
it anymore, okay?”
Sebastian
was quiet for a minute before responding.
“I won’t,” he said finally.
They
pulled into the driveway. “I guess
we’ll both go up,” Bret said.
“Whatever
you want,” Sebastian agreed. They made
their way into the house and up to Julie’s father’s room silently.
Julie
was asleep on top of the blankets, on her back, and for a moment they just
looked at her. “She really is
beautiful,” Sebastian said.
“I
know,” Bret said, and didn’t look at him.
He walked over to the bedside and gently shook Julie awake.
She
stirred, and then realizing who was there, sat up quickly. “Hi,” she said nervously.
Sebastian
sat at the edge of the bed. “How are
you feeling, princess?”
“Um,”
Julie said. “I’m okay. What’s going on?”
“We
just came from Dr. Cambria’s office,” Bret said.
“What? Why?”
“Well,”
Sebastian took over, “After you fell asleep, we went to talk to Bobby.”
“Oh,
no,” Julie said. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,”
Bret said. “Seriously, we just talked,
and it’s a good thing we did.”
“I’m
confused.”
“When
we got there, Bobby insisted he hadn’t done anything,” Sebastian
continued. “In fact, he seemed
convinced that it was actually Bret who had committed the crime.”
“Bobby
thought that Bret raped me?” Julie
frowned.
“No,”
Bret said, “Bobby thought that I raped Marcella.”
“Why
would he think that?”
“Apparently,
that was Marcella’s version of what happened the night that I went to visit
her,” Bret said dryly.
“Why
would she say something like that?”
“You
know how women are,” Sebastian said. “I
mean… you know what I mean. I don’t
know what her deal is.”
“So
everything’s okay with Bobby?”
“Yeah,
everything’s fine,” Bret assured her.
“There wasn’t a single punch thrown, promise.”
“That
still doesn’t explain why you just came from the doctor’s office,” Julie said.
“Well,
we weren’t quite sure if Bobby was telling the truth,” Sebastian said, “but
rather than killing him, we decided to take him to Dr. Cambria and find out
from a professional.”
“And
he’s not the father,” Julie said. “And
you guys still think that I-“
“No,
we don’t,” Bret interrupted her.
“Is
it just the Valium, or is this all really making no sense?”
“The
doctor’s idiot nurse fucked up the charts,” Bret explained. “Mine got messed up with some Michaelson
guy, who, obviously, is not the father of this baby.”
“Then
who is?”
“I
am,” Bret said quietly.
“And
that is just about my cue to exit stage left,” Sebastian said. “If you need me, I’m at the Bienville
House.” He didn’t wait for a response
before leaving.
“I
guess we have some stuff to talk about,” Bret said uncomfortably.
“Yeah,
I guess we do.” She sighed. “Look, there’s not much I can say about what
happened. I can apologize to you, but I
can’t change it, and I can’t justify it.”
“I’m
not going to lie, Julie,” Bret said.
“It kills me that you’d do that.
It hurts from his end, too, but admittedly, that’s not as much of a
shock.”
“It
surprised me as much as it surprised you,” Julie said. “I had no idea I would do something like
that.”
“Well,”
Bret said, taking a breath, “I can’t say that I’m not hurt about it.”
“I
wouldn’t expect you to. I never wanted
to hurt you.”
“And
I know that,” Bret said. “And for that
very reason, as well as others, I don’t want to lose you. I want to be with you, and I want to be with
our baby. I love you.” He leaned in to kiss her.
For
a moment, Julie kissed him back, tasting the unique flavor of his mouth, then
she pulled away. “I love you, too,” she
said quietly, not looking at him.
“Julie? What’s wrong?”
She
forced herself to look at him, trying not to cry. “Bret, this situation has forced me to do a lot of thinking,” she
said carefully, “and some things occurred to me.”
“Like
what?”
“Well,
like the fact that…” She hesitated, and took a deep breath. “Like the fact that if I subconsciously
really thought that I could spend the rest of my life with you, I never would
have slept with Sebastian again.”
“Julie,
what are you saying?”
“I’m
not exactly sure. Just hear me out,
okay?” She swallowed. “Now, Bret, I know that if the shoe were on
the other foot - meaning, had you and Sebastian had been in each other’s place
- I know you would have ended up doing the noble thing. It’s just the kind of person you’ve always
been.”
“Yeah…”
“It’s
not the kind of person that Sebastian has always been, though,” Julie
continued. “The fact that he stuck up
for me the way he did displayed his feelings very loudly. The night that you found out that the baby
might not be yours, you split, and I understand why you did. You had every right to… but Sebastian was
here, and he said things that I didn’t know he could ever say.” She paused.
“And at the doctor’s office this morning, you left again. You just assumed that I had slept with
someone else, and again, I can see why you would, but that still hurt me. Sebastian stayed there. He defended me, and more importantly, he
believed me. That meant a lot to me.”
“I’m
not sure I get what you’re saying,” Bret said, but his tone betrayed his words.
“I
love you so much, Bret,” Julie continued.
“I always want you to be a part of my life, and more importantly, part
of your child’s life. But I realize now
that some part of me has had feelings for Sebastian all along, and his recent
actions have cemented those feelings.
Sebastian has never been able to act very adult about things, and I mean
enough to him that he made some of the most adult decisions I’ve seen any of us
make in a long time. I have to give him
the chance he deserves. I’m so sorry,
Bret. This isn’t easy for me.”
“You want to be with Sebastian,”
Bret said, as if he needed to say it himself in order to believe it. He was silent for a minute. “I don’t know what to say, Julie,” he said
finally, and his voice registered a mixture of surprise with a tinge of anger.
“I’m sorry, Bret,” Julie replied,
unsure of what else to say. “I really
do love you.”
For a few long moments, Bret just
looked at her, obviously considering how to proceed. Finally, he began to speak.
“There’s a really big part of me that wants to give you a hug and wish
you the best,” he said evenly, obviously carefully weighing out each word
before he said it. “I really do want
you to be happy, and I love you, and if you’d be happiest with Sebastian, part
of me wants to give you that without a fight.”
“But?”
Bret looked at her for a
minute. “But let’s face it, Julie,” he
said, his tone getting a little angrier, “that would be absurd. Think about what you’re telling me
here. You’re telling me that not only
do you not want to be with me anymore, but that you want to be with my best
friend, and basically have him raise my child with you.” He laughed, a short, unamused sound.
“I know how horrible this must
sound,” Julie offered lamely.
“Do you?” He didn’t wait for a response.
“You know, I’m trying not to be cold about this, but I don’t think I can
be anything else. I don’t know
what you expect from me.”
“I don’t, either,” she
admitted. “I don’t know what to do
about any of this. I just know that I
don’t want to hurt you.”
“But you did, anyway,” Bret said
flatly. “And now you’re going to do it
again.”
Julie knew that what he was saying was
true, and that there was nothing she could really say to defend herself. “Bret, I…” She faltered.
“It’s okay,” he said. “There’s really not much else to say, I
guess.” His voice had turned
colder. “You seem to have already made
your decision.”
“I guess I did,” Julie said quietly,
not looking at him. Truth be told, she
cuoldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so uncertain about anything.
“Well, I hope you’re sure,” Bret
said, rising to his feet, “because I don’t think I can wait to find out if
you’re not.”
Julie stood as well. “I don’t want it to be like this,” she said,
trying not to cry.
“Yeah? Well, how did you expect it to be?” Bret demanded, no longer even
trying to keep the edge out of his tone.
“Did you expect me to just say, ‘Okay, sure, honey. You cheated on me with my best friend while
I was laid up in the hospital, and then I almost murdered my bassist and
destroyed our band because I thought he might have hurt you, and I forgave you,
and you decided that you didn’t want me, after all. But that’s all fine, because I love you, so go take my baby and
be with him, and we’ll still be best buddies’?
Don’t be ridiculous. You
couldn’t possibly have really fucking expected that.”
“I didn’t. I just… I didn’t want this to end badly.”
“Things only end badly, Julie. If they didn’t, then they’d never end at
all.” He took a breath. “For your sake, I hope you’re making the
right decision, because with it, you’re changing the lives of four people
forever. I’ll send someone to pick up
my things.” Thus saying, he turned and
left.
Julie stood where she was, biting
back tears, until she heard the front door slam shut. Then she took a deep breath and began to get ready to go talk to
Sebastian.
§
“There’s no answer in his room, Miss
Kinsington,” the clerk told Julie, and looked perplexed. “I did see him come back just a little while
ago, though, and I would have seen him leave if he had.”
“Is there any way I could go up and
see if he’s there?”
“We’re not supposed to do that,” the
clerk replied. She dropped her voice so
that only Julie could hear her. “But I
guess I could make an exception. Do you
think you could get me his autograph?”
Julie smiled a little. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” she said.
The clerk pushed a key across the
counter. “It’s room 46,” she said. “On the fourth floor. And I have no idea how you got that key.”
“Thank you,” Julie said, and walked
over to the elevator. As she rode it to
the fourth floor, she tried to mentally prepare herself for what she was about
to do. The elevator ride was too short
for much contemplation, though, and all too soon she found herself outside the
door to Sebastian’s room. Without giving
herself the chance to back out, she ran the keycard through the slot and pushed
the door open.
The room was dark, and it took
Julie’s eyes a few minutes to adjust.
All of the curtains were drawn, and eventually she managed to make out
Sebastian’s form lying on the bed. She
shut the door behind her and made her way quietly to the edge of the bed. “Sebastian,” she said quietly. He didn’t respond, and she said it again,
louder. Still he gave no sign that he
heard her.
Julie smiled to herself and reached
over to turn on the bedside lamp.
“Sebastian, sleepyhead, wake…”
She trailed off as she took in the sight before her.
Sebastian was lying on the bed, on
his back, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed. There was a needle in his arm, and a small spot of blood had
fallen onto the carpet. His lips were a
blueish color, and Julie immediately flashed back to when he’d shot up too much
cocaine at her house so long ago. For a
long moment, she just stood there staring at him, unable to look away, then
something inside of her snapped and she grabbed for the phone on the bedside
table.
“911, what is your emergency?”
“I’m at the Bienville House,” Julie
said, managing to keep her voice steady, “room 46. My… friend overdosed. On
heroin, I think.” She described
Sebastian’s condition to the operator.
“Have you checked his heartbeat?”
the operator asked.
“I’ll do that now,” Julie said. Tentatively, she reached over and pressed
her fingers against Sebastian’s neck, and for a horrible moment felt
nothing. Then she felt his pulse, weak
and slow. “His pulse is faint,” she told
the operator. “And slow.”
“Is he breathing?”
Julie looked at Sebastian’s chest,
and watched until she saw it rising and falling, very slowly and
shallowly. She described what she saw
to the operator.
“Someone will be there in a few
minutes. Don’t disturb the victim,” the
operator instructed.
“Okay,” Julie replied, and then
remembered the last time she’d had to call 911 on a rockstar. “I need to alert the front desk.”
“Yes, that will save time,” the
operator agreed. “If anything changes,
call back.” They disconnected and Julie
mechanically called the front desk to inform them of the situation. Once she had hung up the phone, she realized
how quiet the room was, and how much quieter it seemed with Sebastian in his
current state. She found herself
completely unable to think about what was happening.
A moment later, the door banged open
and three paramedics rushed in. Julie
backed away from the bedside quickly to give them room to work, and two of them
began to examine Sebastian. She turned
away.
“Are you the woman who called 911?”
the third one asked her.
“Yes,” Julie nodded.
“What is your relation to the
victim?”
Julie bit back the urge to say that
Sebastian was more than just a ‘victim’ to her. “He’s my… friend,” she said hesitantly.
“What happened here?”
“I… I’m not really sure,” Julie
said. “I just got here, and found him
like this, and then called 911.”
“So you don’t know how long he’s
been like this.”
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”
“Okay, well, I’m just going to need
to get some information from you,” the paramedic said. Julie answered all of his questions to the
best of her ability, still unable to focus on the reality of the
situation. She did her best to focus on
the conversation she was having as the other paramedics loaded Sebastian onto a
stretcher and carried him out of the room.
“I think we’re about done here,” the paramedic said. “Will you be riding with us?”
Julie’s eyes landed on the spot of
blood on the carpet. “No,” she said
quickly. “I’ll… no.”
“We’re taking him to Sacred Heart
hospital,” he told her, then hurriedly followed the other paramedics out of the
room. Julie sank to the floor, still
focused on the spot of Sebastian’s blood.
§
“Hey, stranger,” Julie said.
Sebastian turned around. “Hey,” he said, hugging her. “It’s good to see you.
“You, too,” she agreed. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve felt better,” he
admitted. “Listen, I’m sorry you
couldn’t get in here sooner. Our
manager closed all visitation that wasn’t the band or immediate family, and
I’ve been unconscious for the better part of the past three days.”
“It’s okay, not your fault,” Julie
said. Inside, she was angry and
frustrated for having to spend three long days not knowing if Sebastian was
going to be all right, but she understood the manager’s decision.
“Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee?”
Sebastian suggested, already leading the way to the cafeteria.
Once they were seated with their
drinks, Julie spoke again. “So I bet
you’re glad to be getting out,” she said lamely.
Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, it’s about time.”
“You gave me a pretty good scare.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to find
me.” He paused. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to find me,
really. I’m really sorry that you had
to see me like that, Julie. I never
wanted that.”
“You’re lucky someone did
find you,” Julie said, ignoring his comment.
“You…” She bit back ‘were about
to die’. “You could have died.”
Sebastian looked down at his
coffee. “That was my intention,” he
said quietly.
Julie’s blood turned to ice. “What?” she said, although she’d heard him
plainly. “What are you talking about?”
“What do you mean, what am I talking
about? Don’t you think I’ve had a
little too much experience with heroin to accidentally overdose?”
“I… God, Sebastian, I don’t know
what to say.”
“There’s not much to say about it,
really. I was trying to exit stage
left, and you foiled my plans,” he said, and chuckled half-heartedly.
“Well, good thing, don’t you
think?” Without waiting for a response,
she continued. “Aren’t you glad that I
did?”
Sebastian sighed. “Yeah, I guess so,” he replied. “What the hell were you doing there,
anyway?”
“I needed you,” Julie said, shifting
her feet uncomfortably.
“What
for?”
“Well, when you left my house the
other day, you said you’d be at the hotel if… if we needed you. And… I needed you.” She took a deep breath. “I broke it off with Bret.”
Sebastian looked up sharply. “What?
Why?”
“Why do you think?” Julie tried to
smile and didn’t do a very good job of it.
“I did a lot of thinking,” she went on.
“I don’t think that being with Bret was the right decision.”
“I don’t get it.”
“If I really, truly wanted to be
with Bret, I never would have slept with you,” Julie explained. “Some part of me knew that it wasn’t him I
wanted to be with long before the rest of me caught on.”
Sebastian ran a hand through his
hair. “And you told him all of
this? That you wanted to be with me?”
Julie nodded. “It wasn’t easy.”
“How did he take it?”
Julie sighed. “Not very well,” she admitted. “I guess I can’t blame him, although I had
hoped things wouldn’t end as badly as they did.”
“Well, come on, Jules,” Sebastian
said, “what were you expecting? You
just left him and took away his kid.”
Julie furrowed her eyebrows. “Believe me, I know what I did,” she said
quietly. “But it’s what I had to do.”
“Julie,” Sebastian began. He took a sip of his coffee, cleared his
throat, and started over. “Julie, you
know how much I want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you, too. That’s why I’m here.”
“You know how much I want to be with
you,” he repeated, “but this situation is fucking crazy.” He paused.
“In all of my self-destructive insanity, I have never once gotten to the
point where I was ready to end it all in a hotel room somewhere in California.”
“I’m sorry, I should have gotten
there sooner,” Julie said.
Sebastian shook his head. “That isn’t the point,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what actually happened,
the point is that in my head I was ready to do that. And that’s intense, Julie.”
“I’m not quite sure I know where
you’re going with this.”
“I know. I’m trying to collect my thoughts, but I’m sorry if I’m a bit
disjointed. Just bear with me.” He took another sip of coffee. “Being laid up in a hospital bed gives you a
lot of time to think. In between doses
of whatever the hell they pump you full of, anyway. And coming close to death gives you an interesting perspective on
things.”
“You sound like a born-again
Christian,” Julie said, nervously trying to make a joke.
“I guess it isn’t all that much
different,” Sebastian replied. “Have
you ever really sat down and thought about this entire situation, beginning to
end, and really paid attention to how fucked up it is?”
“I guess I haven’t,” Julie said
after a minute. “It all kind of went
too fast to ever have the time to do that.
Something was always happening… either Bret was sick, or you were
missing, or…” She trailed off.
“Exactly,” Sebastian agreed. “None of us ever had any time to think about
things. All of our decisions were made
in the heat of the moment, and everything we did was governed by a bunch of
insane feelings instead of any kind of real thought process. To think that we’ve been doing whatever the
fuck we’re doing for the past eight months without ever bothering to even think
about what we were doing is a sobering thought.”
“It is,” Julie agreed, wondering
what he was driving at.
“Well, while I was stuck in here, it
gave me some time to do just that, to just think about what the hell we’ve all
been doing for all of this time. Part
of me wishes I hadn’t had that time, and that I could just be happy that in the
end, I got the girl. I’ve heard people
say that overdosing really changes you, but I didn’t really believe it until
now, and believe me, I wish I could just be the Sebastian I was a few days
ago.”
“What Sebastian are you now?” Julie
said, growing more apprehensive of the situation by the minute.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t want to sound like I’m this newly
born person who’s all better now.
That’s ridiculous. But I don’t
think I’m the Sebastian that can just roll with this whole crazy situation, and
walk out of here with you hand in hand like everything’s totally normal.” He paused.
“Julie, think about all of this.
We all just sort of fell out of the sky into each other’s worlds, and
right from the beginning we had this fucked up rock’n’roll love triangle. Then you ended up with Bret, and that was
supposed to be the end of it. I was
supposed to never think about Julie again, not in the way that I wanted to,
anyway. But that didn’t happen. For some reason, I could never get over it
and pretend that you were just another girl.”
“I never got over you, either,”
Julie said softly.
“Then six months into your
relationship with Bret, we ended up trashed in a hotel room, fucking like rabid
dogs while he was sick in the hospital, dreaming of his beautiful, innocent
girlfriend,” Sebastian continued. “You
know, I may not seem like the type to get guilty, but I still feel like a
pariah for doing that to him. I’m
supposed to be his best friend.”
“That was just as much my fault as
it was yours,” Julie said. “More,
really.”
“That isn’t the point. The point is, I did that, because I was so
caught up in the situation, in my feelings for you. You’re like a drug, Julie.
You were a bigger addiction for me than heroin or coke ever could have
been. I’ve never felt so out of control
in a situation that I felt like I had to run from it and I ran away from you
three different times, and on the last one, I tried to run in a much more final
sense. For me, that’s frighteningly out
of control, and I don’t like it.” He
ran a hand through his hair and sat back.
“I don’t like the idea of being under the control of another person,
period, much less a person who has absolutely no idea what she really wants.”
“I want you,” Julie said.
“No, you don’t,” Sebastian
replied. “You don’t have any idea what
you want. If you knew what you wanted,
none of this would have happened. We
wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You
thought you knew what you wanted before we ever even came into your life, and
look how easily we uprooted your entire belief system then.”
Julie fidgeted in her seat, knowing
that his words were true. “I’m not sure
what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, then,”
Sebastian said. His voice had gotten a
slightly harder edge to it. “Julie,
listen, I don’t think you ever intended for anyone in this situation to get
hurt, but that doesn’t change the fact that it happened, and that you could
have prevented it. I don’t want to call
you a selfish person, but I think that during this whole mess, you never really
stopped to consider how things were affecting anyone but yourself. I know that none of this has been easy for
you, and I really can’t imagine how you must feel, but you’re just one heart
broken in half. Bret and I… we’re two,
and we were best friends when this whole thing started. That’s pretty much destroyed now, and all
because we let ourselves lose our head over a girl who has no idea what she
wants from either one of us. You went
back and forth between us and never really seemed to notice what it did to us.”
“I…” Julie began.
“Don’t. Just hear me out,” Sebastian interrupted. “No matter how things ended up, you got what
you wanted, or what you thought you wanted.
You got the guy, the stability, the money, everything, and I’m not
saying you’re in it for those things, but it’s the truth. And maybe it’s true that Bret or I would
have gotten the girl, but with her we would also have gotten the constant fear
that we could wake up one morning just to find that she’d changed her mind
again and went running back to the other one.”
He took a breath. “That’s no way to live, Julie. I do love you, more than I think you can
possibly understand, more than I can understand, but I can’t imagine
being with you right now. Being with
you and wondering when the other shoe was going to drop, being with you and
knowing every day that I betrayed a friend,” he continued. “Especially when every day I would be
looking at a child that I knew wasn’t mine, and that I shouldn’t be the one
raising.” He was quiet for a minute. “I wish I didn’t feel this way, Julie. I wish that I could say that everything would
be okay, and that I could reassure you like I tried to before, but you aren’t
the only one who needs reassurance, and frankly, you’re in no condition to be
making any promises right now.”
“You’re right,” Julie said
timidly. She wished there was some way
to counter his points, but she knew there wasn’t.
“Maybe this seems harsh, but I think
it’s for the best that you be on your own for a while,” Sebastian said. “You need to figure out for yourself what it
is you really want, and you can’t do that as long as Bret and I are
around. Believe me, it kills me to let
you go, but I don’t have any other choice.
You have a lot of growing up to do, Julie, and Bret and I have a friendship
to try to fix that may well be beyond repair.
He’s picking me up today so we can talk, but really, I don’t know if it
will do any good.” He stood up.
“I didn’t mean for any of this to
happen,” Julie said, unable to look at him.
“Maybe not,” Sebastian said. “But I’m sorry, Julie, you didn’t do
anything to keep it from happening, either, and actions speak louder than
words.” He paused. “I love you,” he continued, “and maybe I
always will, but you’ve done enough damage for the time being.” Thus saying, he turned and walked away
without waiting for a reply.
Julie watched him as he left the
cafeteria, the first tears already spilling hotly down her cheeks. After a few minutes, she managed to pull
herself together enough to rise to her feet, and she made her way into the
lobby, trying hard not to cry. Upon
reaching the doorway between the lobby and cafeteria, her eyes landed on Bret’s
car in front of the entrance, and she froze.
He was standing on the driver’s side, leaning on the roof.
Sebastian walked out of the hospital and greeted Bret, then climbed into the passenger side. From over the car, Bret’s eyes landed on Julie for just a moment before he, too, climbed into the car, and they drove away.