Print this out and mark each one "True" or "False." Then add up your score according to the directions at the end.
1. I am satisfied with my sex life.
2. My partner doesn't really listen to me.
3. I trust my partner.
4. I feel picked on and put down.
5. I am hopeful about our future.
6. It is not easy to share my feelings.
7. My partner often says, "I love you."
8. Sometimes I feel rage.
9. I feel appreciated.
10. I am out of control.
11. My partner is there for me in hard times.
12. My partner is harsh in his or her criticism.
13. My partner understands me.
14. I fear my partner is bored.
15. My partner doesn't like to share what's on his or her mind.
16. I imagine myself divorced.
17. My relationship is what I always dreamed of.
18. I know I am right.
19. My partner treats me with dignity and respect.
20. My partner is a taker.
21. We often do fun things together.
22. Sometimes I just want to hurt my partner.
23. I feel loved.
24. I would rather lie than deal with a problem.
25. We still have a lot of passion in our relationship.
26. I am trapped with no escape.
27. My partner thinks I am fun to be with.
28. Our relationship has gotten boring.
29. We enjoy going out on dates alone.
30. My partner is ashamed of me.
31. We trust each other a great deal.
32. We have become nothing more than roommates.
33. I know my partner will never leave me.
34. I am no longer proud of my body.
35. My partner respects me.
36. My partner constantly compares me to others.
37. My partner still finds me desirable.
38. We just seem to want different things.
39. I am allowed to think for myself.
40. I feel crowded by my partner.
41. I am honest with my partner.
Give yourself 1 point for each EVEN numbered item you have marked TRUE, and 1 point for each ODD item marked FALSE. Add together your total points, and rate your relationship on the following scale:
11 or fewer points-- minimal improvement needed
12 to 19 points-- Average but needs work
20 to 32-- Seriously troubled or emotionally divorced
33 or more points-- Extreme danger of failing
Helpful Links
Are You a Victim of Psychological Abuse?
Leaving Domestic Abuse-- Safely