Humor Title

I meant to put a bunch of things I found funny here. I meant to, but instead, you're going to get more of a 'Thought of the Moment' thing going here. Until you pay me, you can't complain. Just remember that. I'm just going to throw a bunch of things out that are currently on my mind, at 6:00 in the morning when i'm dizzy on all sorts of fun medication.

Late Night Thoughts:: Ever lay in bed at night, trying to fall asleep, and suddenly have a voice pop into your head? Not the usual voice, not the one that tells you that the dog nextdoor would like you more if you killed it's owners and drank their blood. No, i'm talking about that random gibbering that really makes no sense in relation to itself. I decided to write down one of the conversations in my head. And now, here it is, for your reading pleasure.

What? No one decided
Baseball, five yards long
Salmon, freshly caught
Yao Ming, YaoMingYaoMingYaoMing...
Turntable keeps spinning, niagra falls
Redundant seraphim sammy
Stamp out the injustice, frank
Cheese Food
I once knew a man from nantucket
If you want to destroy my sweater...
HORATIO
Frosted Flakes would be good right now.

And it was at this point I got up, went downstairs and got cereal. I didn't need to sleep anyway.

TV Schedules: I think the TV Networks really need to start talking to eachother about their daily line-up, because i'm noticing more and more that we're getting three and four hour blocks of pure crap. Now, I have that new fangled digital cable, which means I get enough channels to keep any lazy channel-surfer happy. Yet, I turn on the TV most afternoons, and there is nothing on. Nothing. Just 'Beyblades' and 'Dr. Phil'. I'm not even that picky, I don't mind re-runs as long as they're showing some actually passable show. The only positive change i'm noticing in this shit TV line-up is that TNN is jumping at the oppertunity and playing alot more 'Real TV'. So, at least instead of Oprah, you can occassionally catch a flaming redneck skiing backwards down a mountain of gravel.

I'm not joking about that, I saw that one.

Anna Nicole and People I Hate: Who thought putting an obnoxious bejewelled pig woman on TV would be a good idea? She's not quirky, she's not funny. Get her off my TV. And all these new Rock bands that sound EXACTLY alike? Someone needs to tell them that they can't carry a fucking tune. If I hear that 'I feel so alive' song again, something's going up in flames. Also, without lamenting, i'm throwing in the skinny gay guy from Will and Grace, Carrot Top, and 99% of all small children.

Holy Rollers: I mean this towards any religious group, although I run into more Christian Rollers then anything. These people that try and shove their religion down your throat, working on saving your soul to score more points with whoever their Almighty might be. Get a New Hobby. Don't sell me your Warrior of God and Armor of God and Instrument of the Lord and Jesus Brand Vanilla Wafer shit until you can get all the contradictions worked out of your religions.

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