This just in! We have a confirmed report that a male individual who will remain nameles...JACK MITCHELL...has been officially found to have absolutely no testicles, whatsoever! The investigation for the mystery genitalia has been going on for quite some time, however it was officially suspended 10 minutes ago after two large scars were found on the bottom of Mitchell's scrotum. Apparantly, the boy had been castrated during an attempt to receive oral sex from his homosexual gerbil. As to the investigation of the boy's penis, a Scanning Electron Microscope is on its way to Mitchell's house to further search his crotch area. The search continues...I'll have the "hating the world thing" up tommorrow...i think you can stand the wait.