WIT, WISDOM, and STUPIDITY
(because everything in this world is one or the other.)
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Well, I have just been informed that my We're Toast rap has been sent to at least two other countries. That makes me very happy! I guess that now I need to tell my readers the story behind We're Toast.
It all started back in 8th grade. My 8th grade reading class had to do this silly parody play of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. I was one of the main parts, a Spanish butler named Jorge. I started out doing my lines in a half-Spanish accent, but eventually it just deteriorated into an upbeat reading. The funny part was that no matter how tragic or serious my line, I always sounded happy and optimistic when I said it. I thought this was quite funny, as did my classmates.
Also around this same time, my sister was in the 5th grade. She was about to graduate from elementary school (as you can see, it is not good to try to learn and perform a play this late in the year. The play was never performed by our school.) My mom somehow volunteered to make the graduation slideshow where they show sappy pictures of all the little 5th graders running around and making memories. She was in charge of the creative aspect, and she dumped all of the technical aspect on me. We finally finished after much work, partly because we had to write and record a song (make that, my mom wrote and I recorded.) The recording program I was using was new, and therefore we decided that we had to play the song while we sang. However, we later discovered that we could have sung the song and then just combined it with the music. This led me to find out what other things this new program could do. I looked under the special column and found a wide assortment of cool features like, "Rap" and, "Reverse". I was naturally intrigued. I tried each of them out and was very amused. In fact, I've spent more than a total of 5 hours trying to say words that make sense when you play them backwards.
When it eventually became obvious that the play was not going to happen, I was bummed. The play was pretty funny, and I knew most of my lines already. Suddenly, I had a brainstorm. I could record the lines and use them to make a song about the play! At the time I thought it would be very funny. I sat down and recorded myself saying many different lines of the play. For the record, I will now print the lyrics I said and what they mean.
- We're Toast: Jorge says this after the guests learn that they are snowbound with a murderer
- They left. I saw them from the window. They boarded (the cable car): When Jorge is asked where two of the guests went, he replys with this statement.
- You're not Elvis, you impertinent fool: Okay, how many of you have played Final Fantasy 1 for NES and know Seth Batton? Seth was featured in Montreat Hug.wws, and he's back here again. Seth had a smaller part in the play with only 3 lines. However, they were the 3 longest lines in the entire play. After he finished one of his long lines about how he was a guest in the house and Elvis was treated better than he was, Jorge is supposed to respond with, "You're not Elvis, you ridiculous fool." However, I just recently started a new game on FF1 and heard the word imperintent. I thought it was awesome. It was the coolest word ever at the time, so I switched the line in the play. After everybody asked what it meant and I told them, they thought it was great too. So I used it. Incidentaly, it's spelled wrong in this page's address. The address is impertinant, while the real word is impertinent. Just a small unchangable goof up. Ah well, that's the explanation of that line.
- What? Miles was your lover?: Woah, not really sure of this line, this was during the oddball part of the play.
- Second Honeymoon: Jorge was on a second honeymoon with his wife Helga.
- We're doomed: Again, I said this line way too optimistically for the situation the group was in.
- I just found a body in the storage room!: During the play, Jorge finds a body in the storage room. The joke from here comes from the fact that when the next actor says, "What?" I responded in exactly the same voice.
While making the rap, I just used all the special features (except reverse) in order as they appear on the menu. When I was done (the song originally ended at We're Doomed), I put it on the internet and retrieved it in my classroom, where the first ever people heard the song.
Later, like a year, I went back and thought I should add more to it. At that time I had forgotten most of my lines, but I remembered that I just found a body in the storage room. I put it in, along with the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah part. I was planning to add another line for the end, where it gets cut off, but at that time I had to go do something else. By the time I remembered it again (current day), my voice had changed and it became impossible to add anything to it.
So, later I thought I might update my web page since it hadn't been updated in roughly a year. While doing it, I decided that We're Toast (later renamed We_re_Toast on the internet) was good enough to be included, so I put it on there. When Kenneth Edwards found it, he thought it was awesome and added it in his deadjournal (accessable at http://www.deadjournal.com/users/weird_kenneth). The next day at school, two people came up to me and told me how much they liked it. Kenneth also told me that it had been sent through a network of people to Texas, China, Europe, and some other places. I was happy! We're Toast had finally been put on the internet and was getting downloaded to be spread across the world.
I'm not planning another rap at this time (Kenneth doesn't want me to do one because he says that it will take away from We're Toast), but I might make another later. This is an inside joke, but I could make a school rap. I already planned it out. "Goooood Morning. This. Is Mel Morris. With your Words words words of Wisdom. Make good choices! Deodorant Deodorant Deodorant Deodorant..."
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By the way, you can download We're Toast here!
