WIT, WISDOM, and STUPIDITY
(because everything in this world is one or the other.)
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This is a story I have to share. I don't know if you're really going to enjoy it, because it might be one of things where you had to be there, but if you were, it's really funny. All names excluded because I don't know if they want their names involved in this story.
This happened during the summer of '03 at a church camp in Montreat. I was there with some people from my church group, and it was my first time there. It was really fun, and I had a great time. We had this one meal with tacos where we couldn't eat with our hands, only our face, and everybody got really messy, especially me, because some guy accidently dropped guacamole and sour cream all over my shirt and shorts. I hate sour cream. It's really just nasty. Oops, I'm sidetracking again. Just trying to make this story a little more exciting. Anyways, well, beside the point, but I got the biggest sticky hands you've ever seen in your life there. It was so cool! They're like a foot long and can stretch to twelve feet. Oh, and slinky. A friend of mine bought some gum that was supposed to turn your mouth blue, but it didn't work. I got a sour Blow Pop and it turned my mouth more blue. I don't know how the gum tastes.
The story!!! One night we (me and my friends. Oh, I was a freshman at the time, going to be a sophomore next year, but the youngest person in my group at Montreat) were walking along the road talking. We were really bored, so we sat down on a bench and some people began to try and beat box. They weren't bad, but they wanted to do a Linkin Park song (Please tell me I spelled that right. That's embarassing, but not as much as this story). Somehow, they knew the verses but not the chorus. So we decided to ask people that walk by. The first group that comes by is filled with a bunch of kids. There is one guy acting really wierd and annoying, and people are laughing politely at him. We ask if anybody knows how the chorus goes. By some odd coincidence, these two girls suddenly stop and say, "Woah, no I don't, how'd I forget?" We start talking (at this point I don't really remember what we talked about, but it wasn't Linkin Park. We still don't know how it goes.), and eventually the conversation turned to Disney channel. One of the girls started talking about how she thought Disney channel was the greatest thing ever and she asked if anybody else knew how this one themesong went.
Okay, at this point you have to realize that I think faster than I do anything else, which causes me to forget things and lose my train of thought (it's kinda like the train goes faster than I can put down the tracks, so it doesn't always go the right way. Example, right now.) Sometimes, I'll combine two words because as I speak I'm choosing the one I want to use, and by the time I get to it I haven't decided, so I say both at the same time. It can get confusing.
So...
I say to the girl, "Yeah, I know how it goes, but..." I'm going to say I hate Disney channel but my sisters watch it all the time and I know the stupid songs. However, after I say that she says, "All right! He likes Disney channel too!" And she starts walking towards me.
People know I don't like to lie. So here I am hating Disney and some complete stranger is about to hug me because I know a theme song. This had never happened to me before, so I was a bit thrown off to begin with. Then I think... "Hey, I should tell her right now that I don't like it so she doesn't think I was lying just to get a hug. I'll say, 'but I really don't like it, my sisters just watch it, sorry!'." However, I was still stunned by the fact that she was walking towards me. You have to realize this all took place in less than a second. She wraps her arms around me before I can stop her, and somehow my brain has decided that the mission is now code red. It is absolutely imperitive that I tell this girl that I would rather punch her in the face right now than watch Disney channel. My frazzled brain judges that there are approximatley .02 seconds left before she is actually hugging me, so we have to act fast. My "train" of thought takes off at 500 mph and recites the sentence. My stupid lazy mouth wasn't ready and didn't really catch the first half about hating it and the sisters. Halfway through it's too late, she's hugging me, and the mission is a failure. However, in order to make up for it's big screwup, my mouth decides to yell out the last word in the message as loud as possible to get the point across that I'm wrong.
Imagine that you are Seth Batton and you are watching this whole thing. Ben says he likes Disney channel, the girl approaches him, Ben backs away, she hugs him anyways, and he yells out "SORRY!" Yeah. Pretty dumb of me. Oh well. We all thought it was funny. Ask Seth about it, he probably knew what was going on more than I did. Whew, that was fun to write.
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