To make our dinners easier for everybody, my family has dinner jobs for each person. The dinner jobs are Set and Clear the table, referred to as Set/Clear, help make dinner, referred to as Dinner, sweep the floor after dinner and take out the trash, refered to as Sweep, and do the dishes, load the dishwasher, put leftovers away, and wash the table, referred to as the dreaded Dishes. Anyways, the problem comes from the fact that we are a very busy family. Therefore, sometimes we have to switch and do somebody else's job. Now today, I had a tennis match. I lost, but that's not the point. The point is that I wasn't home. So, my sister Aubrey (who just happened to be on dishes) did my job for me. Now, you have to know that sometimes, when you do somebody else's job, they do yours. This is what my sister was hoping for. I can prove this because she cleared the table sneakily while everybody was still eating! She said that I had to do dishes, so I loaded the dishwasher for her, leaving 3 pots and pans. We had spaghetti. The problem lies in that she claims I had to do it because she did Set/Clear. I say no. My reasoning:
I have this problem with my family, and maybe you've had it too.
1. Set/Clear is the easist job, taking under 5 minutes.
2. I loaded the dishwasher, which takes care of setting the table.
3. Because I was home and willing to clear the table, this means my sister did it out of her own will for me, and I owe her nothing. Therefore, she should have to do the rest of the dishes, as is her job.
My mom says that I should talk to people more. I know that people see me in the halls, and we just pass by eachother without saying anything. This is clearly not good enough for my mom, but here's my thinking. Sure, there's Kimberly Humphries. I know her name and what she looks like. Does that mean I should go up to her in the halls and say hi? Wouldn't that be strange? Well, not really, but here's what I'm getting at. Why have a conversation with no point? Sure, if I said hi, she would acknowledge my existance, but why bother? We don't know eachother well enough to have a serious conversation about anything, and it would be very awkward to have a strange random conversation about whatever happened with somebody you hardly know. So, Normally I just pass on by, maybe saying hi if I know the person, like Caitlin or Sara or other people. Even then, why disturb the other person with your desperate attempt to get attention? I am an introvert, and could survive for a while without human contact. Why make another person stop what they are doing just to emotionally support you? Also, I am carefull in what I do because I know that people get talked about behind their back, and when they are with the group, nothing is wrong! Nobody wants to talk to that person, but they do to be polite. If you don't like me, just tell me! I can take it! Tell me to shut up! Anna Hammock does all the time! Sometimes I calm down and listen! Just be honest with me! Please! That's all for now.
I had a soccer game today and when I got home I fell asleep.
However, when I woke up I was more tired than I was when I had first fallen asleep. Why does that happen? Shouldn't I fell more energetic and relaxed after I sleep? So why do I feel more tired? I just think that's really wierd.
Have you ever just lied awake on your bed in your room with the window open when it's raining outside? The day has been long and hard, and finally you can relax in your own room. It works even better if nobody else is home, because then all you can hear is the rain gently falling on your screen and collecting in streaks of bubbles that disorient your view of the outside. The streaks constantly change as more rain falls upon them, and the gentle but consistant sounds of rain dripping on the tree outside your room soothes you and puts you to sleep. The cool outside air blows across your face as you crawl under the blankets, achieving a rare state of being warm and cool at the same time. Right then, nothing else matters except the rain and you in your room. It's really something. Try it one day.
What's up with the economy today? I'm not talking about the fact that there's lower paychecks and higher inflation, I'm talking about... let's start with food. Okay. You can go to any supermarket, or even a gas station if you're lucky, and pick up a Snickers for 50 cents. Why, therefore, do we pay up to a dollar at sporting events? Are we really that gullible? "Hey, doesn't that cost 50 cents? Couldn't I just run out to K-Mart and pick like four of them up for that price? Well, they say it's one dollar, so I guess I'm gonna buy it." And why do we do it? It's because we are just too lazy. Sure, we could go to Wal-Mart to buy candy, but that's not Wal-Mart's specialty! Now, Wal-Mart can't know squat about candy if they're selling Skittles for 25 cents, now, can they? The Snack Bar, now they know that this quality candy bar can easily be sold for a dollar. Or maybe the Snack Bar's Snickers are better. That's why they cost more, they have an extra half-inch of chocolate. Yeah, that's it.
What's the big deal with clothes and hair? I really do not understand this mystical balance that we call a hairstyle. Now, to me, all hairstyles are perfectly acceptable. If it smells clean, then it's good to go. But my mom insists that I comb my hair each morning. I tell her no, my hair is fine, why mess with success? But she insists and locks the doors out until my hair is combed. Hey, watcha gonna do. But anyhow, some people can spend almost a half-hour easily on their hair. How is this? Sure, check it out, I went to the salon and blew 30 bucks just to look this much better for one day. Man, I hoped somebody noticed. Oh, shoot, I have an exam tomorrow! Gotta look good. And clothes! My motto is, "If it's on the floor, you can wear it once more." Forget this outfit thing. The closest I've ever come to an outfit is wearing grey and yellow shorts with a yellow shirt because that's the only time my mom would ever let me wear that shirt or those shorts. But why? "Hey, there's that wacko dude who wore a yellow shirt with blue jeans, God he's wierd..." "Man, don't mess with that girl, she wore a belt with capri's..." What's all the fuss? And another thing, those stupid A&F and A.E. shirts. Geez, it was funny the 50th time! I'm really sick of seeing these stupid shirts bordering on immaturity... "Quickie Car Wash! Ha ha, quickie!" "Treasure Island, home of Captian Jane's Booty! Ha ha!" Geez, it makes me sick. That's enough of that, I could talk about that all day.
I was at this party and I saw the case that the forks came in. It said, "You will be pleased with our forks." What kind of statement is that? "Hey, our forks aren't that great, but you'll at least be pleased!" And what are they talking about, anyways? The quality? The color? "Ooh, this fork is such a sensuous off-white, it makes me so happy! It pleases me!"
I've noticed something about this column (if you can even call it that.) Some of the stuff (and only some) is genuinely funny. However, a lot of the humor is lost because there is no sense of timing. Normally, if I was in front of you all saying (oh, that's next, 'you all') saying my stuff that I wrote here, and you were hearing it for the first time, it'd be a lot funnier! That's because of the timing. See, you are supposed to come out with a soft joke, just to get half the audience chuckling, then you come out with a one liner and make the whole group burst into tears of laughter! But I can't do that here without making this a really really long page (longer than it already is), so I'm just gonna leave the timing up to you guys. Try saying it outloud with occasional pauses, and maybe it'll be better.
I, as many of you know, are from Michigan. Now, I've lived down south ever since I could talk, so I talk slightly southern, but my parents both speak like they are from the north, so I talk slightly northern. Let's have an example. You all. What is ya'll? Southern for you all. Northereners don't say you all. I got kind of a rare northern-southern mix because of my upbringing, so it sounds pretty strange to me after a while. Also, think of the word 20. Say it out loud. How did you say it? "Twenty"? I think not. You probably said, "Twenny." Yes, say it again if you don't believe me. "Twenny." I went to Michigan and my cousins teased me the whole time about Twenny, because they have a definite audible 't' sound in there. I just kinda rush past it in southern style. In the south, all the words kinda just run together. "Ya'll best run 'way." Whoops, got to go. I'll finish later.
To the WWS home page!
To the main page!
