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MOVIE Quotes

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Ted "Theodore" Logan:
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.:
[T]he only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing.
The Breakfast Club
Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong, but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay, telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as: a brain, an athlete, a basket case, princess, and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7 o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed.

A Few Good Men

Col. Nathan R. Jessep:
You want answers?
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:
I think I'm entitled.
Col. Nathan R. Jessep:
You want answers?!
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:
I want the truth!
Col. Nathan R. Jessep:
You can't handle the truth!

Grease 2

Davey:
[W]hat are you gonna do Johnny?
Johnny Nogerelli:
Sleep.
Davey:
No, I mean, what are you gonna be when you grow up?
"Goose":
A burden on society.

Independence Day

Capt. Steven Hiller:
[T]his was supposed to be my weekend off, but no. You got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute. You got to come down here with an attitude, acting all big and bad. And, what the Hell is that smell?!

Stand By Me

Gordie Lachance:
Shut up!
Vern Tessio, Teddy Duchamp, and Chris Chambers:
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Gordie Lachance:
And, then your mother goes around the corner, and she licks it up.
-----
Gordie Lachance:
Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?
Teddy Duchamp:
Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog.
Chris Chambers:
He can't be a dog. He wears a hat and drives a car.
Vern Tessio:
God, that's weird. What the Hell is Goofy?
Vern Tessio:
You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy Duchamp:
What are you cracked?
Vern Tessio:
Why not?! I saw the other day he was carrying five elephants in one hand.
Teddy Duchamp:
Boy you don't know nothing. Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman is a real guy. No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern Tessio:
Yeah, maybe you're right. Would be a good fight, 'though.
Teddy Duchamp:
[Y]ou guys been watching the Mickey Mouse Club lately?
Vern Tessio, Chris Chambers, and Gordie Lachance:
Yeah.
Teddy Duchamp:
I think Annette's tits are getting bigger.
Chris Chambers:
Think so?
Teddy Duchamp:
Yeah, I think so.
Gordie Lachance:
Yeah, I think he's right. I've been noticing that the "A" and the "E" are starting to bend around the sides.
Teddy Duchamp:
[W]hile you guys are dragging your candy-asses halfway across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie Lachance:
You use your left hand or your right hand for that?

Top Gun

Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell:
I feel the need . . . the need for speed!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace: "If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!"
Ace: yeah and your ugly.

Lois Einhorn: I can make your life a living hell Ace Venturas: I'm not ready for a relationship right now lois.

AMERICAN PIE

 

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?
 

ARMAGEDDON

Grace: I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.

AJ: You know what I was thinking?
Grace: What?
AJ: I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker.
Grace: Why?
AJ: Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, I mean well putting cheese on something is sort of a defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. I don't know why I thought of that, i just-
Grace: Baby, you have such sweet pillow talk.
Rockhound: You want to compare brainpans. I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and the let me use explosives.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Scott Evil: Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.
Scott: It's no hassle--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: But--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: I'm--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: All I'm say--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: There gonna get a--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: I'm--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: I'm just--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: Would--
Dr. Evil: Sh! ...Knock-knock.
Scott: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: But--
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.