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More About My life
Sunday, 3 July 2005
More about how I grew up
Hello again to everyone, this is Shane-Edward-Lee, from Shane Lee ministries, telling you more about my life growing up in Georgia, also go to my web site at www.Shane-lee-ministries.org {:-.O}
This blog may contain adult subject matter, and may not be suitable for children under 12.
If after reading this blog, if you think that I acted like a normally developing child, please write to the V.A in reference to Shane E. Lee, 316/21PD/AHB CSS 257 23 2433, to Department of Veterans Affairs, Atlanta Regional Office P.O. Box 100021 Decatur, GA 30031-7021, In care of Kathleen Sullivan, or e-mail at https//iris.va.gov, or phone at 1800-827-1000, and that you think that Veterans should be given up to 2 years at least to file, reopen their case, or appeal.
Thank you to anyone who is willing to help me, just send it to them, and say I agree with Shane, that he was a normally devloping child until he joined the Navy, and that by a combination of different stressors during the Persian Gulf War was made to suffer from a form a Post Traumatic Stress disorder, even though he wasn't in an actual combat situation, because of how his shipmates treated him during his tour of duty, and that they wouldn't work with him, though he worked with them.
As a child, me and my Dad an mom would move around allot.
I got the usual colds, and chicken pox, mumps, and measles, which I remember being at the beach on Tybee Island from when I was a child, with one of them, though now through my faith in Jesus I am able to get colds less, and can sometimes go several years before I get one, and then it is only a runny nose, with a slight cough.
I also nearly drowned, when at the beach, when younger, I had fallen over into a shallow pool of water, and was fighting to get back up, but couldn't, and kept fighting until my mom got me.
Then when I was around 4 I had a toy car, and it fell between a cement block with two square holes in it, and I made my mom call the firedepartment, to crack open the block, and it took awhile, but they came over and broke the block from around my hand, and I triumphantly raised the car up, and everybody laughed, but this shows determination to hold on to something I want, or need, and to not give up until I get it, which my favorite cars were Hot wheels, though I also like the Match Box cars as well.
I also got a haircut, and my shirt was on backwards, and my mom took it and turned it around, but the people in the salon laughed, because they thought that I was a girl.
While growing up I was outside allot, so got tanned, and was sometimes so dark that I would be thought of as an African American, though when I hit puberty, and started going out less my skin pigments changed, and I would burn after that.
My mom and dad listen to most of the rock groups of the 60' and 70's while I was growing up, and my dad liked Black Saddath, and I remember the song Black Sabbath, but though I could imagaine Satan spreading his wings when listening to the song, I never worshipped him, and I also remember Iron Man as well, though again I stress that there are some people who can handle listening to music, and there are some people who can't, because they do stupid things, and don't understand the idea of true entertainment, and take it to an unhealthy destructive pattern, which is a combination of fear, prediction, and not knowing that there are 2 forces at work in the univers one benevolent one malevolent, and the malevolent is what confuses people into taking things to serious, and hurting others, the benevolent allows you to listen to the music as long as you don't hurt another human being, and know when to stop playing.
Mom had her circle of friends with their kids who we would go over and visit, and they would do what they would do, which mainly, back then, consisted of drinking a little, and maybe once and awhile a little Marijuana, and play card games, or a marbel game where you would start at base, and get out on a roll of a six, or one, and if a six you could roll again, and moved around the board till you made it home, but it you land on an opponent, they got sent back to base, and the first one with all of their marbels at home, would win, and also Yatzee, which sometimes they would smoke it a little once and a while in the car, and I would get a little car sick, and it always made me sick, so I never liked it, and was mellow enough without it, or just being around it a little, but it never made me want to go out and do it, just because they did it, which my step brothers did go into it a little, but then again you got people from the White House to your own neighbors who think that it effects people, and makes them crazy, but at the same time I also noticed that unless they were doing other drugs like Cocaine, or Crack, that it didn't effect their behavior, and they did it until drug tests were required at work, which was most of my childhood, which wasn't too bad, though we were a poor lower middle class family, we had decent Christmases, and Thanks Givings and ate mainly Southern Cooking, like country fried stake, or fried Chicken, sometimes fried pork chops, with Mashed potatoes, and a canned vegtable, or fresh from the garden, like green beans, or something, and Granddaddy Lanky had a garden in his back yard and sometimes we would snap peas, and butter beans, and corn, and okra, though I never liked okra, nor squash, Pizza, also Hamberger and Hot dogs, and sandwiches, (though I never liked Tuna fish, because of the Onions, and for some reason never liked the taste of Onions,) even neck bone and rice occasionally, and home made Spaghetti, but I like more the Chef Boyardee, Spaghetti and Meat balls, than the home made kind, but that is because of the onions, and Bell peppers that mom would put in them, and the usual breakfast of cereal, eggs, bacon, and sometimes french toast.
Which we also had African American friends, and I never seen any racism from my family, nor slavery, though I did find out that my great Granddad was part of the K.K.K., I never knew it, and if I had I wouldn't have agreed with it, so me and that old man would have fought, and when I was younger, he probably, would have called me a little N****r boy, because I was so dark myself, because I used to play outside allot when younger, which I don't thank that my Granddaddy agreed with great Granddady either.
As previously mentioned, mom and dad both did a little bit of drugs mainly Marijuana, and had Cheech, and Chong records, and all of that, but I never did drugs myself, and was never tempted by them, because my mom and dad had a friend who lost his arm to them, and I think that I saw how it effected him, both the drugs, and the loss of his arm, and never wanted to do them, because it scared me, and perscription drugs, because they always seem to have side effects, also bother me a little, and also because I learned that John warns about the Pharmakia, in Rev. 9:21, the word used here is sorceries, which I don't think has to do with natural supplements, but synthetic ones, and the main message is not to rely totally upon them, but to also believe that God the spirit or breath of life within you is able to also heal, as demonstraited through my 2 miraculous survival of near death experiences, and I did take medication while in the hospital for the 3 story fall, and up until I was discharged by grace, but when I was released I relied on God to help me with the pain, and though I still hurt, I hurt 50/50, which is still a blessing, and shows me that my faith is being rewarded, but there must also be something that is hindering it in my life that I might be unaware of, which I also confess to God the secret things in my heart, though it could simply be because of the nature of the sin in Eden, and the iron in the blood, and side effects from that, or that the Navy Doctors interfered witht he healing process and did what they thought best, whereas the doctors in the car accident didn't quite know what to do so left it alone, and God was able to heal it in less than 12 hours, but whatever it is, I am totally relying on God to fix the problem, and am not giving up.
I would also watch P.B.S., and shows like Romper room, Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood, Sessame St., and the Electric company with, Morgan Freeman, and very occasionally Captin Kangaroo.
We also had a cat named Morris, after the T.V. cat, I guess, but he must have gotten hit by a car, and I remember seeing him all messed up, and then I remember either us finding another cat who looked just like him, or that maybe God resurrected him for me, but somehow we kept him, and moved to another apartment complex, we lived on Skidaway, where I first started school, and all, and where I was bullied by my next door neighbor's kid, then we moved to an apartment off of Victory Drive, near Bacus Cadillac-Pontiac, and the Burger King, which my mom worked at a little, then we moved to Garden City, at Chattam City Apartments, which is where I showed the little girl my penis, and got into a fight with a friend of mine, and was upset that I would get in trouble, and was crying about it.
I went out to Sprage school, and was picked on a little here as well, then my mom divorced my dad, and I would go over to my Grandma's every once and a while, and my Aunts, and my uncles also, I even tried to steal some pennies for my uncle Ronnie, because he had a big jar full of them, because I wanted some candy.
Though I only tried to take the pennies once, after that I stopped, and never did it again, and just perferred to play with my cousins toys, like Webble Wobbles, and Lincoln logs, and would even play by myself, and learned to entertain myself, and my grandma, and everyone would forget that I was back there, I was so quiet, but I would just play with them like real people having a normal day, and that was it.
I also remember watching Dracula the one with Christopher Lee, and I had a large stuffed teddy bear, and somehow it got around my neck and I thought that Dracula had gotten me, and started screaming, and my mom woke me up, and got the teddy bear from around my neck.
We also went to Disney World in Florida, when I was like 4, or 5, and the 20,000 leagues under the sea ride scared me, and we didn't go back again until I was older, around 11, and then we would also go to six flags over Georgia a couple of times, and I met one of my girlfriends there Tracy, but it didn't work out, because of her past relationship with an older guy, who took advantage of her, and got charged with statutory rape, but I wanted her to write to me more, because she lived in Jesup, Georgia, and I lived in Garden City with my mom, and sister after her divorce from Big Roddy, and she thought that I was after just sex like her ex-boyfriend, and I happened to met a girl closer to me, who liked me, but I was going out with Tracy, and the other girl would call me, and say guess who this is, and Tracy called, and said the same thing, and I confused her with Tracy, and called Tracy by her name, and the relationship crumbled from there.
I also remember watching a movie about Veitnam, and how terrible it was over there, and it scarred me as well, so that when I joined the military, I joined the Navy for several reasons, among them being my bad eyesight in the right eye, and the fact that the Navy was at sea and less likely a target, though I wasn't afraid to join the Marines or Army, I am sure that I would have did the best that I could, I also wanted a branch where I could have a career if I made it 20 years, so went in as an Electrician.
I also saw a documentary on Nostadamus, where it revealed that by 1994 we would be into World War III, and that the threat of Nuclear weapons would be used to defeat America in a sneak attack, which my Pastor at the second church that I went out to seriously after my dream, and religious experiences, and near death experience, from 1990-1991, called Christian Fellowship Churches, the previous General Pastor also said that Russia would get involved with the War in Iraq, and could use Nuclear weapons, for more about their beliefs go to www.cfcmi.org ;-D.
Nostradamus also spoke of a man who would come, whom he called the Anti-Christ, and he had on a dark blue turban, which at the time Saddam Hussein wore a light blue turban, but was threatening to use Chemical, and Biological weapons against Israel and the U.S, though he is now captured, when I was going through the Navy, I was made paranoid about him, from a number of sources, among them my shipmates, my Pastor, and the prophesies of Nostradamus themselves, and how people interpret them, and also Osama Ben Laden also said that he would have went ahead with his plan to bring down the twin towers in 1994, only things weren't in place, which though interpreted as a Nuclear bomb, 2 jet airplanes, would be missels themselves, which if we were unable to stop them would appear to fulfill some of what Nostradamus said, according to the interpretation of those doing the documentary, but perhaps, because it would have freaked me out more, or whatever the real reason, the plan didn't go through until 9-11-01, which Osama also could have been doing it to make it appear like the prophesies of Nostradamus were being fulfilled, which was part of my fear about the ship that I was on.
I also went out and trick or treated for Halloween, and did the dress up thing, but there is no commandment in the Bible dealing with this subject, so like meats, and drinking, it is the persons personal view of it, which means if you look at it through the eyes of Jesus as a day to dress up and pretend, and get candy, and your parents watch out for you, and know what is real from what is your imagination, and when to stop playing, and still keep the commandments of God, then you can celibrate Halloween, I went out to Churches that both celibarated it, and those who would dress up like Prophets, and Apostles, which is also fine, God doesn't sit up on its throne waiting to take away your free time, and fun, but you do need to develop a relationship with it as well.
I would often dress up as a comic book character, or the werewolf, or a Vampire, or whatever, and even was in a haunted house, sponsered by a church, as the Werewolf, but one of the kids said it wasn't scary, so I picked him up, and held him against the wall, like he was a rag doll, and just scared him a little, which was around 13-14, some of you Christians are trying to use scare tactics to get people into the church, and it might work on some people, who actually fear the Lord and Lady Jesus Christ, but on those who can sense what you are doing, you might have to try a different technique.
I also would listen to the radio allot while growing up, and would quietly sing along, and one of my favorite comedians was Rich Little, who did voices, and since everybody sounded different when they sang, that is how I thought that you were supposed to sing each song, differently, and I did so up until like 8th grade when I joined Chorus, though in 6th I joined band and played trumpet, and hit the first three notes, low C, G, and high C, then in Jr. High I went to Baritone, and in the 5th grade I was asked to sing Georgia, by Ray Charels, and sung it like I heard Ray do it, and one of my school mates knew it, but he could also sing in his own voice, which I had to learn how to do later on, though I would still sing along to the songs on the radio like I heard them, doing that all of your childhood, can make you O.K. with singing in Unison, and establishing harmony, which is important to chorus singing, which our teacher was strict on not using your southern draw when singing, so I learned to hear distinctions in other peoples voices, and how to mimic them.
I also remember unusual weather here in Georgia, like it would rain sometimes when it was partly cloudy, also sometimes the weather man would say it would rain, and it wouldn't, which is sometimes the established patterns.
Then my mom remarried a man named Rodrick Crutchfield, and he had 2 sons from his ex wife, Little Roddy, and Mark, which we would all get in trouble, but I would take it when whipped, but the other 2 would try to run away, and get it worse, then I went to Strong School in Port Went Worth, GA where we moved.
I was picked on here as well, a black boy made me prove to him that I was a boy, and trapped me in the bathroom, and wouldn't let me out until I showed him my penis, then a little black girl would often show me her underwear, but I got held back in the 3rd grade, because I was a slow learner, and though not actually diagnosised with it, may have had a mild form of Dyslexia, but the second time in the 3 grade I did better, because we had a male teacher, named Mr. Martin, who also got us on T.V. channel 11 WTOC, and we also did a show for the school, and I did voices, like the incredible Hulk, or Speedy Gonzales.
In the second grade I remember watching the cartoon movie Peter and the wolf, and peeing in my pants, because it was so funny, and I wanted to watch the whole movie, and not miss any of it, so I just started peeing right there in the class room, which I was about 7 or so.
Though I also saw Bambi, and didn't like it when the mother got shot, and believe that I cried, and never liked hunting when I was older, though my Uncle Russel, and Big Roddy hunted a little, which I am sure that if I had to I would manage, and all of that, but I was a sensitive child.
I had my first girlfriend who was named Lisa, and a second one named Lisa also when older.
I had a birthday party at McDonald's once, then we moved to Effingham county, and lived in Pineora.
I had a few friends, and was often picked on by both boys and girls, because I was a meek child.
I also remember reading the story about the boy who cried, wolf, which is what I think that the church is doing now, they don't know when the day and hour is, so any time anything bad happens, they act like it could be the end of the world, or something, but just because they are off, doesn't mean that the Bible is wrong, or that things won't occur later on, or whenever the actual time is, you just have to realize that we are all sinners, and are saved by grace, but you aren't to use it to excuse you from knowing the truths that you can see in the scriptures, because then you are sealing the truth, which is why I am writing these bloggs, because no matter when it will be fulfilled, we still need to understand everything that we can through the Bible, and not lean to our own understanding of things.
Yet we can avoid the evil things if we repent of all of our sins, even those of referring to God as male or female, when it is the source of both, and in both, and both are from the image of Christ.
I also started going out to church off and on, and my Grandma bought me a book about a boy who brought to Jesus the 5 loafs and 2 fishes, and imagined that I could be like that boy.
I had my tonsils out, like most everybody I guess.
I would see my dad every now and then, whenever he felt like it, until he died.
While living in Pineora, Ga. we had a couple of husky dogs, and started a chicken coup, and would go out and get the eggs, and all of that, and also eventually got rid of the Huskies as well, after we got rid of the Chicken coup, I was taken Karate by then, and set up a tight rope to practice walking across it, between 2 trees, and was able to do it, and that is part of why I figured I could catch myself on the ledge of the window.
Also after we moved to Pineora, when riding the bus, another white, or European, or caucasian boy would pick on me that I was gay, and told me that it was in the eyes, but the problem with that is I got a stigmatism in mine, and blink uncontrollably, so he was trying to see something there that wasn't there, but it was probably something that his daddy told him.
Then I met one of my best friends, Myron, around the 5th grade, and we hung out while growing up, and were a little mischievous, and would sneak out at night when older, and at first it was bikes, and then using his old truck, which was a Red 1963 Chevy, that was mostly red Primer, also like in Farris Buler's day off, we would sometime skip school.
Then we had hurricane David to come in, which was my first hurricane, and I remember going over to my Aunt Jenean's house and staying with them at the time, which they iventually moved to Erie, Pennsylvania, and imagining that their was a protective bubble around our trailer and prayed to God that it wouldn't be destroyed in the wind.
I lost my dad at around this time, he was shot and killed, a "friend" came by, and at first acted normal, but got into a fight with his then wife, and my dad pushed him out the door, and he had a gun, and pulled it on him, and shot him in the face in the right cheek, just under the eye, and I tried to not cry about it, but I broke down at Redmonds clothing store, when they mentioned it on the radio, my dad's name is Bobbie Edward Lee, but that was the only time I cried, after that I didn't even cry at the funeral, I even went out to summer camp that year in Flordia with the church, that me and Myron were going out to, which was called Rincon Baptist Temple, and had my first crush on a girl, though she broke up with me, and broke my heart, though I did get a little upset, and cried out to God, asking him to help me find the right woman someday, and shortly after this I commited myself to what I learned about Baptism in a phamplet, and got Baptazied that same year, on Nov. 1, 1981, and requested it on my own acccord, without anyone else explaining it to me, believing that if I did it I would one day be resurrected like Jesus was, if I tried my best to follow God, and live as good a life as I could by following Jesus, and the Holy Ghost.
I had eye surgery on my right eye at age 12, right between the time when I got saved, and wore a patch for awhile, and then had the dream, I saw differently using my peripherial vision, and was cross eyed until the surgery, though it made me go partially blind, and to slowly lose my eye sight over the years, though I am still near sighted in it, and can sometimes if I concentrait hard see a little bit better, though it is amazing that I can still see out of my left, without glasses, but I don't wear them, because I can see them when wearing them, and focus on them, and they actually distract me from seeing.
I also learned how to swim, and went through red cross training, and was a cerified beginner swimer, and in the Navy was a card carrying expert in C.P.R.
I also collected comic books, and my favorite was Spider-man, I even tried to cut my hair like Peter Parker's in the comic, but it didn't quite work out, and all I got was a bad hair cut.
I would eat lunch at school, and all, and around the 6th or 7th grade got a book about Karate from the Effingham County Libary, and started wanting to learn it, though when I got to the 7th grade I acted like I had already taken it, and knew the basic blocks, but one of the girls wanted to fight me one day, because I was trying to cheer her up, because her boyfriend had just broken up with her, but she took it the wrong way, and started trying to hit me, and I just kept blocking her, because I was told not to hit a girl, though she did get through and hit me, and then I got a little mad, and acted like I really wanted to fight then, but only wanted to grab her so that she couldn't hit me again, but wouldn't have actually hurt her, and went to grab her, but someone came in and broke it up, but nothing really came of it.
I also would join the school's book club, and would order books, I even ordered one dealing with real Vampirism, and learned about Vlad the impaler, and all of that, but like with "A Clockwork Orange," I knew that even if you could do these things, that no one in their right mind would, though no one in their wrong mind, should be able to do these things either, and if you are being influenced by the devil that is also a choice, and you can stop listening to evil thoughts and ideas, and control yourself, and be like the loving God of the universe truly wants us to be, and also after the dream of seeing the throne of God in heaven, I would also dream that I could fly and was flying through the woods around our trailer, but would never jump off of a high place to see if I can fly, if I can fly God would lift me off of the ground, I don't have to go up higher to see if I can fly, if I can fly I would simply raise up off of the ground, and start flying, and wouldn't have to go up to a higher point, and jump from that point, and see if I can fly, that would be crazy.
I also ordered an Adult book that dealt with sex, when around 14, or so, and read it to learn about what to do with a woman when married, which it dealt with cunnilingus, and different techniques to use, but I was still willing to wait until marriage to have sex, I was seeking after knowledge, and what to do later on, not necessarily to do what I was reading.
Our church also went out to another camp, and some of my acquaintances, where one of the boys was almost molested by a camp counsolor, which was a Southern Baptist summer camp, but we were told to keep it quite, and were given special treatment afterwards, which also happened to me later on when going out to Christian Fellowship Church, the then General Pastor, hugged me, and put his arm between my butt cheeks down to the hole, and told me that I was uncomfortable with my sexuality, which I never said anything to anyone about until now, but I am willing to forgive it, but realize that like with David and Bathsheba the reason that the Lord/Lady reveals the sins of people is so that we can learn from them, and not make the same mistakes, and the Pastor was a little forceful with me, and I even dreamed while going through boot camp, of a large man with silver hair trying to force himself on me.
Thouh he also told me that it was O.K. to masturbate, and I even found a scripture in Leviticus 15:17, but there were some weird things going on, and for more info go to www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/Finally to see what all happened.
I went to Jr. High School in Effingham County, and went to High school at Effingham County High school, and finally Groves High School in Garden City, GA, but got my G.E.D. when I turned 18, because I still had 2 years of school left, and figured that because I failed that mom wouldn't get anymore Social Security for the death of my dad, so got a job to help her out a little.
Then another time in Jr. High school an African American guy, who I guess didn't like me started having a problem with me, and wanted to fight me, and even got in the first blow, and tackled me, but again I then started getting serious, because I was just playing, and not looking for any real trouble, but we wound up going to the principles office, and getting paddled, but neither one of us cried or anything.
Now me and my step-brother little Roddy would often get into fights, and the like, but that stopped when I started Karate, and did it for 4 to 5 years, from 1982-1987, and got up to blue belt, which is 2 away from black, I also bought five books on Ninjitsu by Steven K. Hayes, and read them as well, which I also looked a little into the Samurai, and was interested in the Japanese, and took a Japanese Hard Style of Karate called Chito ryu, or Shito Ryu.
I only had to prove myself with that once in the eighth grade, when a guy challenged me, and I did a flying roundhouse kick to the stomach, and that put a stop to it, then everyone knew that I was really taking it, though a P.E. teacher came up behind me, and I didn't see who it was, and did a move to get him off of me, because he had gradded me from behind, because I was standing up for myself with another student, then he put me against the wall, but later on realized that I didn't know it was him, and apologized, but I didn't get him in trouble or anything.
I have 2 kicks that I am good at the roundhouse, and the hook kick, (though I knew all of the kicks, front kick, side kick, back kick, inside and outside cresent kicks, and spin heel kick, and could do flying versions of them all three different ways, and my punches, though I was better with my feet than my hands, but our teacher combined a little boxing with Karate,) when I went to tournments, and all of that, and did alright, sometimes I would win, and sometimes lose, I got hit hard a couple of times, but I took it, and kept going, though I was tricked once, and told, when we were going to a major Karate Tournement in Ohio, and was told that you were supposed to control your punches, and kicks, and not hit hard, or you would be disqualified, and we were at a Karate camp preparing to go to the big event, and I was fighting a guy, and let him hit me, because I knew that he was afraid of me a little, and would hit me hard without control, and let him hit me, because I am not afraid of getting hit either, and we were wearing pads, but not thick pads, but with only a little padding on them, which was why we were told not to hit hard, which I didn't go about to just let him hit me either, he took a different style as well, and after the match I thought that I had won afterwards, and we both stepped up at the same time, because of the rule, and we were also told not to show any sign of pain if hit, and I did that, because in tournment fighting it is the first 3 points, and you win, which isn't the same as a real fight, which I took all three of his shots with no real affect, so thought that I won, but I was better when we just sparred openly, or like Basketball, when it was one on one, though I was alright at soccer, and practiced a little, and we had a basketball goal, so I would do that, and my Karate, and go to the Ogeechee river, and try to find a girlfriend during the summer, and was a little more hands on, and would feel the girls up, and kiss them, even with their parents watching, but they never said anything.
Then I met a guy named David Pellum in the 7 th grade and we were both into Karate, and a guy named Kelly Ford, who also took Karate with me.
Once David Pellum caught me with a spin heel kick, to the face, and all I did was laugh at him, because of the reaction he had at hitting me, he also caught me in the shoulder with a suriken, or throwing star, but it hit the colar bone, and didn't do any real damage, because it was more of a prop, than an actual weapon, and I guess I wanted to see what it felt like to get hit by one, because I sortof froze, and didn't guite know how to avoid it, but the Ninjas would add poisons to theirs, which is what made them so deadly, so even a scratch could kill you.
Then I met my second best friend David Maddox, and we would practice Karate together, and would hang out at Myrons, where we would help with the hey bails, and the like, because Myron's dad had a small cattle ranch.
I also watched the normal T.V. shows, like the Dukes of Hazard, Wonder Women, Spider-Man, even the Ninja show with Lee Van Cleff, and Sho Kosugi, I think it was called the Master, (in fact I saw Sho Kosugi do a back flip with two men holding his arms, and later on when I was around 19, I was training some of the neighborhood kids, who found out that I really took Karate, after we moved to a trailer park in Garden City, and did the same thing, though the guys, let go, I still did the flip, though they thought that I was a poser, and didn't really take it at first, but we also went out to another dojo that taught the same style I learned, and they saw that I wasn't lying,) though I also watched Little house on the prairie, and Fame, Highway to Heaven, in fact our teacher Mr. Martin showed us a Christian movie, about a man on his life's journey, and how his decisions would effect whether he went to heaven or not, but he made the right decisions, and made it, but this was when prayer was still allowed in schools, and Saturday morning cartoons, like Dungons and Dragons, and Godzilla, which some of you may know, and some of you may not know, and went out to see Movies whenever we could afford it, I got allowance, and the like.
Myron had a dog named Trooper, and me and him didn't get along and he would sometimes try to bite me, but got ran over, so that was the end of that.
Once Myron had a bag of chocolate chip cookies, which I feed him some to get him to like me, but in Trooper's mind I was submiting to his alpha role, by giving him the cookies, so when I took one for myself he bit me, but I was starting to grow older, and he knew I was becoming more confident, and eventually did stop messing with me as much, but then Myron ran over him, so that was the end of it.
Me, Myron, and David would sometimes during the summer hang out at either his house, in the woods, or at the Ogeechee River, or another swimming hole called Heights landing, I would sometimes have girls who would pick on me as well, which is because of my right eye which has a stigmatism, and was also light sensitive in it, and would blink, which is probably part of why I was picked on, and people would think that I was winking when I was blinking, which one is done on purpose while the other is done involuntarily, which people would often missread, which with women I don't mind at all, though I am a one woman man, and they don't need to pick on me about it, but with the men, it can be a problem, because they take it the wrong way.
Me, Myron, and David would also sometimes hang out with Ray, Donald, and Russel Chance, as well, Donald and Ray were a little goofy acting, and Donald, would sometimes pick on me, which I let him, because he was goofy looking as well, though I never picked on him because of his looks, but one summer we went up to Forsyth, Georgia, and we were at a local river, and there was this hot looking girl there, and I approached her, and she let me put on some sun tanning lotion on her, which was fun, and all the guys thought it was cool, and at the tournement I met a girl as well, and we went off together, and kissed a litle, and I tried to keep up the relationship, but it didn't work out.
We would also go out to Statesborough and go skating, or to the Drive-in movies, and would soemtimes sneak in, and once the theater near the college, which Donald would pick on me, and say I looked Chinese when I was Cherokee Native American, though with a last name like Lee, it wasn't surprising, we would also eat at the Pizza Inn, or Hut, and the different fast food resturants like Burger King, Dairy Queen, Tastee Freeze, and once and awhile McDonalds.
I would also sometimes go to the Dances that we had at High School, and would either Dance with a girl, or by myself, to show the girls that I could dance a little, I even tried smoking once, but didn't inhale, and once Mark my other step brother offered me a joint, and I also didn't inhale it, which when Mark did that I got mad afterwards, and chased him a little, but most of our family smoked.
Though I would sometimes go a litle overboard sometimes and would do silly things, like with Lisa I wanted to see her, and the fair was coming to Statesborough, and Hitched a ride from Pineora to Statesborough, and was lucky to catch a couple of rides, and found someone who was going with his family, and gave me a ride all the way to the fair, and I met Lisa there, and her Uncle gave me a ride back home.
Also with the female sailor I met in Palma Spain, I went on a tour and was trying to met up with her, and was hoping that they would offer the same tours as our ship did, and that we would be able to met up, and there was a Petty Officer from her ship on our ship, and I sent a note with him to her to let her know which tour I would be taken, and hoping that she would be able to take the same tour, which the tour went fine at first, and I went along with it, but then we were allowed to do what we wanted and do some shopping, or whatever, and I went off walking, trying to met up with her, and kept walking trying to met up with the female sailors tour group, and even picked flowers for her, but got separated from the tour group that I was with, and didn't make it back to the bus in time, and got left, but still managed to make my way back to near the ship, but it was hope that kept me going, and something inside me, lead me to someone who was able to help me get back to near the ship, and got a ride back to the Naval base where our ship was ported at, I was less than a 1/4 of a mile from where the ship was at, and didn't speak any Italian, because we were in Scicily at the time, but got put on restircted Liberty.
I would often eat 2 meals a day, though in the summer sometimes three, but back then I was more active, and the only thing that is slowing me down now is the 3 story fall.
I was still picked on a little even with the Karate, (though my step-brothers who used to get into fights with me all the time, and try to beat me up, did quit messing with me so much, which I didn't like fighting, and me and Little Roddy would sometimes have serious fights, and would hit hard, which I didn't like, so I would try to quit, and eventually it would be over, though Little Roddy did go through a weird phase, and tried to pin me agaisnt the wall, with my butt up in the air, which made me wonder about him a little, but it didn't go to far, and he would let me go eventually,) because I was trying to be a real Christian in a world of teenage sex, and drinking Alcohol, and smoking, which I never really did, I may have drank a beer, but didn't like it, and didn't do it again, because I knew that Alcoholism ran in my family, and my dad would sometimes beat my mom, I was still harassed by a red neck acting guy, who would accuse me of being gay, and I would tell him, No, I am not, and that is the problem with most guys, they won't let no, mean no.
I also did a home movie, about being a Ninja who stole a trophy, and was fighting the good guys to prevent them from recapturing it, which was recaptured, and I was defeated.
We lost Aunt Jenean to a brain aneurysm, and went up to Pennsylvania to be with her, and I got to drive a little, but it was the second time that I visited her, and the first time we went up I was like 13, or so, which was about 2 years after the hurricane, and I had met a girl I liked, but had to sleep with my cousin Chris, and he wasn't home when we first got their, so he got in later, and I was dreaming about the girl, and Christ came in and went to bed, and I subconsciously started rubbing agasinst him, but was asleep, which my mom to prove that I wasn't gay got me to slow dance with my cousin Pam, to show that I responded to girls that way, but Myron, and David, also saw mw asleep on a bed, and said that I started humping it in my sleep, and sometimes when I would sleep over at David's while dating some of my later girlfriends, I would rub against him a little, but all he had to do was wake me up, and let me know, and I would roll over, and stop, which sometimes we would play like we were gay, and grab each other from behind, and similate having sex, but no one got hard, or anything.
I would hang out with David and Myron, and would sometimes bike ride to David's, or whatever, and we would go and do things around Springfield, and Rincon, and once he had a girlfriend who lived in Rincon who also sort of liked me, and he had to go home, and I was left alone with her, and she hit on me, but I didn't do anything with her, and politely told her, that I wouldn't betray David, though it was nothing personal, and she said that she was still a virgin, but I was never like that to just have sex with a girl that I just met, and was confused, and backslid when I did start sleeping with any woman who would sleep with me during the after maths of the War, be it a one night stand, or a long term relationship, but I learned that you may see it one way and the woman another, and no matter what, she has the final say in the relationship, and that it is also better to be celibate and masturbate, than to get involved with a woman who only wants drama in her life.
Now we come again to the accident, which I guess I was talking to my step-brother about us getting a job or something, and me driving us back and forth to work, and going out on dates together, but he may have challenged me to prove that I could handle the car, and I speed up around the curve, and had it to over 65, or so, I don't know precisely, and lost control, but that was pride, and I should have knew better whatever the reason, which I was already on the stretcher when my mom and sister, and Step-Dad came on the sceen, which means that the person's whose yard we crashed into called the Ambulance, but wouldn't have known who we were, unless Little Roddy was able to get out of the car on his own, which I don't know for sure, which came, and got out Little Roddy first, and then little Roddy called mom, and by the time they got me out, and the time it took for them to get a ride to the place where the accident occurred, because I believe that we only had the one car, though big Roddy may have had a work truck, I was left in the car, for anywhere from 5 minutes, or longer, which I probably went through the windshield, and split it into 2 pieces horizontially, because I had to be up further in order to both break the windshield over my head, and for it to pop out on my head, as stated in the Medical report, I had to hit it and slide to the left side, both hitting it straight on, and twisting to the left side, and then it falling on my head behind the right ear, as I continued through it, which would pin the right side of my head between the two halves of the windshield, which with the blood would make the medics think that I was decapitated, but I wasn't, which this wouldn't be the same as hitting the gound, though glass is pretty hard, and I have never heard of a martial artist breaking a windshield over their head before, I guess I am the first to be healed of a cervical spinal cord injury as well, (though it was nothing that I actually did, personally, though I could have called upon God to help me, before I went through the windshield,) and to break a windshield over my head, I was also outside of the car, at least partially, my head, and shoulders anyway, were out of the car, and on the hood a little, which my sister just recently told me that I was also screaming like a wounded animal, and I guess what was going on in the spirit, is since I had accepted that I could be one of the 2 witnesses one day, though I still didn't understand it, but if Lucifer took me then, it would undo all of his plans, and he couldn't have the last 500 years, though God is only allowing it, because men are allowing it, if they would repent, and learn to love each other correctly, and treat each other with respect, and how to stop listening to the evil thoughts in the world, even if it is people talking about you behind your back, or trying to predict your behavior, which is what I think the guys would do, is predict what you would do, and see if you would do it, and to overcome them through knowing that God will only give you good thoughts and ideas, and the devil evil thoughts, and ideas, and while God is trying to feed you the good, Lucifer is trying to feed you the evil, and it is whom you listen to that determines what kind of person you are, because when you include your behavior as part of your personality, then you are confusing your behavior with who you are, and doing someone evil makes you like a robot, but loving someone, and treating them right makes you human, and able to have the good emotions that God wants you to have, but the devil sees you as an evil robot, and goes about to make you worse.
Yet when I hit my head as soon as I was released, or removed from the hood, or the windshield was taken off of my head, I (the part of me that was still functioning, that was caught between the reality of livihg or dying, and being healed, or being paralized,) had to change, and scare those around me, who walk by sight, not by faith, and let them know that something different was going on with me, (though I was also function on the lower brain function, and like a computer was rebooting my system, after suffering a suvire injury, and the Holy Spirit inside of me was healing me, without me doing anything else,) than with the normal person in the same situation, and at the same time if I died before the time, this would make things worse for Lucifer, because I was still pure enough by my initial faith to be healed by God, and helped by the angels, because there is no way that I went head first into the windshield without cracking my neck at the back of the cervical spine, and then being trapped betweent the top of the dashboard with the windshield on my head as well, after I hit it, and fell over, then popping out on my head, but the scream was probably the demons trying to reach me and carry me to hell, but in hurting me, and trying to bring about my death before the time, Lucifer was hurting himself, and the demons who served him couldn't kill me, or make me a quadiplegic, or bring me to hell, without changing what God had told me, because in hurting me, Lucifer was hurting himself worse than if he was to let me recover, nor could he paralize me either, because I have to be able to walk while in Jerusalem, if I have to become one of the 2 witnesses literally, yet because every person has the potential to be one of the two witnesses, and to God we are all the two witnesses, because there are two ways to see it, the husband and his wife, and then the best man, or friend of the husband and his wife, we are all capable, who are two though four because the male and female are one in Chirst Jesus, or that it has to do with both the believing Jews and the unbelieving Jews, and both the believing Gentiles and the unbelieving Gentiles, and that God is trying to save everyone, but we are siding with Lucifer enough that God has to let him punish us whenever we sin enough to warrent it, but not all trying, the best that we can, to be what God sees us as, and are letting the lure of sin for a season, draw us into a trap that is set by Lucifer to ensnare us, and the only problem is that God is trying to warn us about the trap that Lucifer is trying to set, and even with that we are still, for some reason falling into it, which we are all a little empathic with both sides at times, and in a near death experience either demons are coming to get you, or the angels to bring you into the bosom of Abraham, but if it isn't your time, neither one can take you, but the effects of what is to occur is determined by both sides, and Lucifer at that time couldn't let me die, nor be a quadriplegic, which is what should have happened, but with the second accident, beause I had been with a number of women, and treated them both good and bad as they treated me, but never broke any serious laws, i did harass the female salior a little, by writing her letters trying to explain that I loved her, and I did follow the Filipino girl, when I caught her with another guy, whom she said was just a friend, and who took off suddenly, which I didn't know the guy, or if he was kidnapping her, or what, or was a jealous ex lover, or if she was in a relationship with him, or what, and was just trying to find out the truth, so that I could either break up with her, if they were more than friends, or help her if she was in trouble, but the only thing is I didn't have allot of gas, and ran out of gas before I got to find out, but what was lucky is that I ran into someone who was willing to give me a lift to the gas station, and managed to also get a lift back to the car, and then just let it go, and wrote a note of apology, and explained myself, but she went and filed a stalking charge on me, which was later on dropped, because she didn't follow through with it, but before the Navy I knew when to stop, and wouldn't force myself on any girl, or woman that I was interested in.
Now any doctor, or Chiropractor will tell you any spinal cord injury is normally permanent, I would be the only case of a coomplete recovery from a spinal cord injury, probably in both accidents, which the 3 story fall was ruled in the line of duty, which means that it wasn't suicide, or my fault totally, but that the Navy was responsible, because they knew the dangers of putting paitents with Psychological problems on the third floor, with no master key.
Though my mom could have prayed Ezekiel 37:1-10, over me, and ask God to heal me, I don't know if she did anything else, she never told me.
Also after the accident me and my step brother Mark got into trouble for buglary, but only once, and may have been influenced by my step brother, who was taking advatage of my studying into the art of the Ninja, which there are 2 paths to take in it, the white path, where you study for the knowledge of it, and to protect against it, and the the black path where you actually use it, and I was probably just talking, but Mark was serious, and actually went out to do it, and we were both quiet when we needed to be, and when we both stopped being quiet the dogs started barking, but he had to have a plan, I again thought that he was playing, and so was I, but he was the one who actually went into the house, and got the stuff from the house, he even hosed me on the deal, which I didn't even really care about, and told on me like it was my fault when caught, Yet this was after the accident and I just did what the court told me to do, and never did it again, (though I once tried to get him to eat a potatoe chip with some crap on it, and it wound up backfiring on me, and I put the chip in my mouth, and tasted the dung, but spit it out immediately,) and also forgave my step-brother, and prayed for him when he got a brain tumor, and prayed for him to recover, and went to Memorial and the chaple there, and was praying in tongues, and all of that, and he recovered, though I am not saying that the doctors didn't help him as well, we both did what we could, but the second time he wanted to die, so I let him choose his path, but still prayed for him to be taken by the angels into paradise.
I also lost my Grandma in 2003, and Aunt in 2004, and Uncle, also in 2004, to cancer, though I did pray for them as did everone, and am sure that our combined prayer helped them to stay around longer, but Mema smoked for years, and I would pray for her to not get cancer, and when she got it, it was like it hit her all at once, and all the smoking that she did over the years crept up on her, but we still hoped that she would heal and recover, she had ovarian, and maybe colon cancer, and Aunt Francine had colon cancer, and Uncle Harvey, a brain Tumor, or cancer, which my ex-wife Daphne also had Brain Tumor, or cancer, but is still around even today, and I call her and send my son Birthday, and Christmas, and he gets part of my disability money as child support, through Social Security Disability, like I did when my dad died, which not being able to work a job isn't my choice, but I do the best that I can on the faith that God has given me, and when I can walk I walk for as long as I can until I hurt again, and then lay down again how ever long I have to until I can get up again, and work out in spurts of faith, and strenght, and if I have to lay down for anwhere from 30 minutes to a couple of hours then that is what I do afterwards, though afte the car accident, I just got up like nothing happened, no pain in my neck, or forehead, or behind my right ear, and continued in Karate till we moved to Garden City, after my mom and Big Roddy had a falling out, but they also got back together again.
I was also jumped by about 5 African American teenagers while trying to figure out what to do with my life, I worked at Roger Wood Packing company, which made Hot dogs, and Sausage, and the like, and would go to the movies by bus, and one day got jumped, because I was sitting by an African American girl, who took my bad eye the wrong way, and another guy acted like he wanted to start something, so I stood up to him, and the next thing I knew there were 4 other guys, and I was trapped, with no where to go, and got beat up, but another African American man broke it up, and I had to go home on the same bus with them, but still managed to hold it together until I got home.
I also worked odd jobs like cutting grass, raking yards, and would work for a Mrs. McCall, and went to her house, and did finally cry a little, but let it go, and tried to forgive and not let this cause me to treat other people who were African American wrong, because of what these guys did.
I went to concerts as well, Aerosmith with my girlfriend Tina, Poison by myself, and Hank Williams Jr. with my friend David Maddox.
I also did Construction work, and Burger King, and the like before I joined the Navy.
Which I started trying to join the Navy in 1989, while living at the trailer park, and was having trouble finding something to do with my life, and didn't want to be at Rodger Wood for ever, David and me would still hang out every once and awhile, and one day we both ran into a Recruiter from the Navy at the local Gas Station, and we both thought about joining the Navy, only I did alright on a test that the recruiter wanted us to take, and David didn't do so well, so I went through with it.
I studied for the Asvab, and started working at Krispy Chich, with another friend's sister, named Paula, which Brian was the name of a guy I met while living in the trailer park, and we would often go out to church together, and their mother Grace.
I was in excelent shape physically, and would both run and walk the whole trailer park, and still rode my bike, in fact I road all the way from Springfield to Garden City, which is more than 26 miles, though it took me a couple of hours.
While in the process of joining the Navy I ran into some Jehovist witnesses who don't believe in serving in the military, and they told me that I was wrong for wanting to join the Navy, and I just asked God, and had like a Dejavu Dream of going to boot camp, and it was the day that we were to be issued our clothes, and I was standing in line and going in a certain order and received my clothes, which I told the Recruiter about the Jehovist witnesses, and figured that if I told him about the dream, that he would just say that it sounds like you want to go anyway, so I just kept on going, and joined the Navy, which I told them about my eye surgery when 12, but tried to hide my stigmatism, but they caught it at the Meps station, which we would go to as part of the entrance into the military, and I took the oath, and all of that, and finished up my community service for the buglary charge that I did with Mark, and paid the restitution, and learned my lesson, and wrote a essay about why I wanted to join the Navy, and that I had learned my lesson, and wouldn't ever attempt to buglarize anyone again, and wanted a career, and to get something going with my life.
When I got to boot camp, on the second day, the dream came true as I dreamed it, and I remembered it, and believed that God wanted me in the military, and would help me to make it through.
I also while going out to Christian Fellowship Church, was at the mall, and saw a girl in a Wheel chair in a record store, and a strage feeling came over me, that the girl could be healed, or something, but I was afraid, because I had never done something like that before, and felt a strong attraction to her, but waited for what to do, but nothing happened, but I also didn't know all of the details about my car accident, and if I had, I may have been more comfortable, and have something to tell her to encourage her to believe in God, though I was also worried that if she was healed, that I would be thought of as God, which I didn't know what else to do.
I also while going out to church would go out there almost everyday, unless I had watch or duty, because that is what they pushed on new converts, and we would both do Bible studies, and invite people out to church, and had teams, and all of that, I did this the whole time that I was going out there, so know what it is like to be an evangelist, and soemtimes would even teach right there on the spot, if the person seemed unwilling to come out to church with us, but would also let them go after saying my peace.
Which is covered by freedom of speech, I can tell any person on the planet what I believe, they don't have to like it, but I have the right to say it, as well as freedom of Religion to start my own church, and if you don't want to hear it, you have to leave, but can't surpress my freedom to say whatever I want to say, but I did let the church cause me to do some silly things, and it was my choice, for instance I had about 100 tapes that I brought with me for during "A" school, which we had to go through Kitchen duty again during this time, for a couple of months, and up until then I was just a normal guy in the Navy, but after getting involved with the Church to show my loyalty to Jesus I threw out all of my tapes, which were modern popular music, like Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston, Bon Jovi, Beastie Boys, and the like, and went and threw them in the dumpster, which I did alright in boot camp, and went through it with realitive ease, and was made the Religious Petty Officer, whose job it was to make sure that the company went to church every Sunday, and we even went to a Jewish service off base, which wasn't normal during boot camp, and got to leave the base, which during boot camp I didn't have a wet dream or anything, though there was a female who worked with the Jewish Rabbi, and I had a weird dream about her, and also of some large heavy set man, with silver hair trying to force himself on me, which could have been about the Pastor at CFCI, though I also dreamed of a Red headed girl trying to force herself on me, which may have had to do with the female sailor that I met in 1993, who I became a little obsessed with and confused over, because I fasted for 3 days after I met her, and heard a voice say, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, three times after I told her I was one of the two witnesses and my dream, which some of the women I told about my possibly being one of the 2 witnesses, and some I didn't tell at all, though my Ex-wife knew, and the Filipino Girl.
This was while I was being trained in A school to be an electrician, and passed, but just barely, but was told that you get your hands on training out in the fleet, but I was steedily becoming paranoid about the war, and had sleeping problems during shcool, and was tested for Narcolepsy, but was ready to leave, and the night of the test I got a good nights sleep for some reason, so I didn't push it.
When I got to my ship the Saipan, L.H.A. 2, I was in the division, and had some minor problems when I first got there, like one guy got electricuted, which made me think that they didn't know what the hell they were doing, and I was worried about working with them, and would show up every morning ready for them to train me, or tell me what to do, but they always made me go out alone like I knew everything about both the rating, or job skill, and the ship, which even if I understood the job, I didn't know the ship that well, and still should have been trained a little, but went to Mess duty, and did whatever they told me to do I went from washing dishes to serving the officers their meals, to cleaning the staterooms, and did each job the best that I could, yet again when I got back I was given a job of general maintance for the logic circuits of the elevators, which the maintance card said that the circuits were each below each other, but I didn't know how to get into the store room to get to the other circuits, so had to make it look like, I knew what I was doing, when I didn't know, and was close to where I was supposed to be, and only didn't know how to get into the store room, which is allot for my shipmates to assume about my work ability, and I believe that they did it, because while working my Lt. of my division saw me working in the Officers mess, and that I did everything that I could with no complaint, and may have told them, that if I knew how to do something, that I would do it to the best of my ability, but they could have gotten jealous, and were tempting me to see if I was as good as he said I was, which was wrong on their part, and since a guy got electricuted as soon as I got to the ship, I figured that they didn't know what they were doing, and were trying to kill me, or get me electricuted as well, and weren't willing to train me, or work with me, and I hadn't done anything wrong, and was only an observer when I first got to the ship, so they got caught, but blamed me for them not training me in what I was supposed to do, and there is a problem with the Maintance cards, there are not diagrams, or explainations, to show you which piece of equipment it is that you are working on, it is all in words, and therefore a little hard to understand, and during A-school, you are showed everything quickly and only once, and I was in a car accident with a 5 inch fracture in my skull, so that would still effect me at least a little, even though I fought it, and just tried to keep on going, and never had a photographic memory, which again even if I did, even if I developed super natural hearing, because of the accident, whatever occured, if my shipmates were talking both good and bad about me, and did and didn't want to work with me, and knew that I could at least find out where the job area was, but wouldn't actually learn my trade, and would be an unqualified Electrician, and if I didn't know what to do on the Saipan, then I wouldn't know what to do on another ship, and they would have to train me, though I would have told them that I had a hard time on the ship, so I didn't know if they weren't training me, becaause they didn't know, or if they were messing with me, or f***ing with me, and another ship mate was harassing me that I was gay, and every morning when I came into the Divisional Work area on ship, my shipmates would suddenly stop talking, which probably means that they were talking about me a few moments ago, which could be why the other shipmate harassed me, he was maybe trying to show that I wasn't gay, or something, I don't know for sure, but everytime he would do it even when times were tough, and I might have wished that I was gay to get out of duty, but I wouldn't do that, and would think, Death before dishonor, and we got into a fight over it, and he pushed me into a tin wall, and I hit him upside the head with a right cross, and knocked him off of me, but we had to work together to fix it, and we did it, but then I was sent to another division, though I was also going up for a questioning from the Lt., and he was testing me and another shipmate to see if we were up on our facts, and we were both doing alright, but we got to a question that he acted like he was unsure of, and we both answered the same answer initially, but he actually gave the answer, and then after that I remembered the right answer, and changed mine, but I didn't plan it out or anything, but he acted like I did, and I swore to him I didn't plan it that way, that is just the way it happened, but he didn't believe me, and no one wanted to work with me, so I was confussed, and didn't know what to do, so would do what I thought I needed to do, to do my time in the Navy, and did whatever they told me to do.
Now I didn't try to evangalize my shipmates to believe that I was one of the two witnesses, though they knew that I was going out to First Christian Felloswhip Church in Norfolk, and I had told the General Pastor and the local Pastor that I was one of the 2 witnesses, and my Sunday school teacher about the dream I had of seeing the throne of God in heaven, but I never persecuted unbelievers, but I am a firm believer that any person who believes in a religion can express that religion, as long as they don't break the laws of the state concerning moral issues, that we all agree are wrong, though freedom of expression means I can tell you what I believe up to three times, and you can refuse to agree with me, but that you have to tolerate my expression of my religion the same as I have to tolerate yours even if I don't agree, and as long as we are in agreement on what is moral, and right and wrong, and live together in peace, but I have the right to express my belief to any person in America at least once, and then if you don't want to hear it, I of course can't force you to listen to it, but you can't stop me from expressing it, so that you don't have to hear it either, if you don't want to hear what I have to say then don't stay around me, and that's that, but you can't stop me, even if I am a government offical from expressing my belief, though I can't force you to believe it, nor can you force me not to believe it, nor express it, which no matter what happened between me and Christian Fellowship Church, even if they disagreed with me, that I am one of the two witnesses, I was able to use what they taught me as a base understanding of the word of God, and was able to grow in my understanding.
Now we had three shops, the Generator shop, the rewind shop, which is where we meet for muster, though we also meet for muster on the deck of the ship as well, and the battery shop, and I started out in the Generator shop, which had 2nd Petty Officer Locklear, EMFN Campbell, another guy, I don't remember his last name, and myself, but I told them that I took Karate, and the Saipan had a Gym in the front of the ship, and I would lift weights, both with machine equipment, and free weights, and would practice my Karate and streches still as well.
I also studied into Kabalah a little, but there is a problem with it, where if you stop doing it, you may run into a bit of bad luck, like my car got stolen, and got wrecked.
Now I did tell the Psychiatrist in the Navy about it all, but left out some details at the time, because I became obsessed about figuring out if I was really one of the two witnesses, which is why I was diagnosised with Paranoid Schizophrenia, I was focused on that and only that, but now I can multi task, and do other things again a little, though I now accept that I may one day have to go to Jerusalem, only I believe it is far off.
I was also trained a little in ship board fire fighting, and even went to school for it, but was never allowed to show, or train my shipmates, and wasn't used to my full potental, and would be a messenger during drills.
After that I would show up each morning, and ask what are we going to do for today, and would be willing to work, but was never trained, or used properly.
My Shipmates even got caught not training me, but blamed me for it, and I didn't know what to do, electricity isn't something to play with, and if they told me what to do, I listened, and obeyed what they said, and if I didn't understand it, I would ask, but was never appreciated, and was made the black sheep, and was put on latrine, or cleaning the bathroom duty, or head, which in the Old Navy, when wooden ships were used, the bathroom was in the front, or head of the ship, so was called the head, and I did everything that I was told to do without complaint, and also had to paint the ship, while in port on our second Med cruise, and they even put me in another division, and even though it started out ruff I had to paint the boiler, and did even that without complaint, until they realized that I was a hard worker, only needed more hands on training than what I got in A school, which is what I was told would happen in the fleet, but my evals suffered, and I was down to 2.8.
We also went to Isarel twice the first time we went to Hragada Egypt, and then to Isarel, and were anchored out off of Haifa, and I did a two day tour of the Holy land, but the second time we were there for a two week period, and went port side, and didn't anchor our like before, which makes me think that something happened to the ship, like maybe the crank shaft of the ships propeller, had cracked in 2 which would be unusual, because it was a solid 2 foot cylinder shaft, that ran from the middle of the ship to the end, and was at least 75 feet long, and made out of steel, and also made me paranoid about the Saipan being made a target by Saddam or something like that, which I lost both my Graddads as well in 1991, which also affected me a little, which I was just trying to be romantic with Sheena the female sailor I met, when I suggested that we get married in Jersualem, and our ships had went to 2 ports together, so I figured that maybe we would also go to Israel, but she took it all the wrong way, and I also thought that I could have gotten her pregnant, because we had a three day Romantic Holiday in Palma, Spain, including sex under a tree, and I was also deeply in love, and she was also Japanese, which while dating Lisa I had a dream of seeing an oriental woman, well, I had asked God to bring me a Japanese, or Chinese, or Vietnamese, or Korean, or even Arabic girl, I wasn't racist or anything about the nation that the Asian, or oriental girl was from, but wanted a pretty one with long black hair, which is part of what I saw in the dream, which my girlfriend Maribel fit the bill, at least in my mind.
While being discharged I was given a job of bringing the Med boards for signatures of the different Doctors, and did the job so well, that even though I was dropped in rank for sleeping on watch, I went back up to E-3, while being discharged, which isn't normally heard of.
The problem with A-school is that they show you everything in a few months very quickly, which is no real chance to learn anything concrete, because it is only in repitition of something that you eventually learn how to do it, so either my shipmates knew what they were doing, but acted like they didn't, or they themselves didn't know what they were doing, but either way I was never trained beyond A-School, and was only showed once what to do with everything in less than 6 months, and was never really great at school, I was like an average student, plus I had the car accident, which could have increased my hearing ability, because I always had a bad right eye, (though I wasn't color blind, or I couldn't be an electrician, and could see the colors when I did the test,) which means I would rely on hearing more than my vision, though I used my vision the best that I could, God wants us to both hear and see what it is trying to tell us, and show us.
Now, not every person goes through things the same way, and I am not against the military as a whole, but there has to be away for men who are working together to get along, and not harass each other, and not be prejudice, because I am sure that it was my bad eye that made my shipmates uneasy, and they didn't understand why I was in a good mood no matter what I did, or why I was trying to be a postive person, even though I was being done wrong, which was based in my faith in Jesus, though I didn't force them to believe as I believed, I didn't hide my belief either, nor was I ashamed of it, at the level of understanding that I was at, but we don't have to persecute, nor be persecuted if we are willing to try and get along, and live good lives.
Now my life is sometimes like a Soap, but through it all I tried to maintain my relationship with God, and to make the right choices, and try and treat people right, and if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully, 2nd Tim. 2:5, so that is what I try to do.
If I make a mistake I admit it, and try not to make it again, if it is something that will actually hurt someone, then I try not to do it in the first place, though people will get hurt when you make mistakes in love, but I never hurt anyone on purpose, and live for loving people as brothers and sisters, and know that we are all one blood and flesh, through the body of our dear Lord and saviour Jesus Christ.
AFter I fell while in the hospital, I would get T.V., and started watching the Power Rangers, though my favorite, was Thuy, or the Yellow Ranger, then Kim, the Pink Ranger, and the the different guys, though I liked Tommy the best out of the guys as far as marital arts ability, though I only like the girls romanticly, of course, and again it would be the Yellow Ranger, but I also thought that Kim was cute, and Fine as well, because she could do gymnastics good as well, so I found both girls attractive, and their martial arts, even if there were stunt players, was cool, and it helped me to remember my own training while growing up.
After the Navy I stayed in Virginia, until March of 1996, and moved home, and tried to work doing construction work, and worked at Little Caesars Pizza, and went back to construction, because I was too slow for the store owner, because of my leg, and then went back to Construction, and tried driving for the company, but my car broke down, and then I got a job working for a motel, and then went back again to the Lador Finders, because I would hurt, and rest, and was thought asleep, but wasn't, because I would rest my eyes, because of my bad right eye, and had a hard time with it while in the Navy as well, and was always getting accused of sleeping on watch, and the like, and was giving crappy jobs, but did it.
Then I worked for an Auto paint store called Stafford's Auto Paint, here in Savannah, and was there for close to 7 months as a delivery driver, I bought a cheap Ford Tempo to get back and forth to work, and would still see David, who would work at Steak Out, but was still having problems with the leg, and because my mom was probably told to watch me for at least 2 years, on the neck injury, to make sure that I was O.K. with the cervical neck injury, and filed with the V.A. as soon as I was discharged, I figured that I would get back paid up until then, but then found out that I only had a year after they rated me on my original disability, (and had a hard time between the months that I couldn't work, till the time when I got my disability going, I was sufering from a heat stroke in April, of 1998, right before I went on disability, and the movie the sphere was playing in my head a little, and I was hoping to find a girl friend, and prayed for God to bring me someone as beautiful as Melissa Joan Hart, (though remember I had a dream while dating the second Lisa, of a young woman, or maiden standing in the woods, who looked like she was of Asian, or Native American descent, and Lisa had light Redish to auburn hair, which was after the accident, which I guess God did that to show me that I wasn't dead, because the dead don't dream, though whatever it meant, if God was showing me my future wife, all I can do is wait,) though I knew to either wait on her to come to me, or that if she didn't that God would bring me the woman, that it wanted me to be with, so I had an episode where I went walking up the road naked, and got into some trouble with the law, but was treated and got better within 2 weeks, I would always when having mental problems seek help, and go to the V.A., or while in the Navy a hospital, which I had 2 reasons for doing this, the first was the heat stroke, and the second was I was in my own mind, showing Jesus that I was ready to meet him, and be naked and not ashamed at his coming, because it was 7 years after the start of the problems in the Persian Gulf area, and I was ready to meet the Lord in the air, if it was time, though afterwards I started writing diffeent ministers on T.B.N., and telling them my testimony,) but swear that I didn't know, and wasn't told that, but the government wants to take their time with my case, plus in civilian cases you have 2 years, and can try and work during that time, and still if you develop problems get treatment, and if you file in time get cash compensation as well, if you can't work anymore, and I was a little confused, and I was less than 2 months going to the V.A., and less than 7 because I had to get into the system, and still had to go on Social Security until 1999, though I did get a little back pay it wasn't enough to cover my bills, so I got a car, a yellow 1998 Mustang, and a 1996 Nisan King Cab, and was hoping maybe to one day give one of the cars maybe to my son, or something, whose name is Jonathan Rowen Sebastian Lee.
Though also in 1998 I found out about the Bible code in a book by Michael Dorson, or someghing like that, and the Signature of God, by Grant R. Jeffrey, and also a book by Yacov Rambsel called, His name is Yeshuwa, which is the contraction of the Hebrew name Yahuwshuwa, that dealt with the Bible code, and got a copy of the New Testament in Hebrew and Engish while going out to a local Jewish/Christian Ministry called Shalom Scriptures Studies, with Elias Hildalgo, and got a copy of the New Testament, and learned a little bit more Hebrew, becaus I knew a little through Strong's concordance, and figured out how to spell my name in Hebrew, which is sheen, aleph, final nun, though sometimes it can have a yode in it, after the aleph, but I found it encoded in Rev. 11:3-5, Rev. 12:4-6, Rev. 2:25-27, though it is backwards here, and also in Isaiah 53:10-12, where it talks of the Mashiyach seeing his seed, and Zschariah 4:12, and Malachi4:4-5, or 3:23-25, in the Hebrew scriptures, though sometimes a name can be one letter off, if it is the first or last letter, and in the Old Testament I found the Hebrew version, and the New the English version, though in Isaiah it was the English version.
Little Roddy had a girlfriend during this time named Donnah who was also in a bad car accident, and was trying to have a baby with Little Roddy, and I prayed for them, and she did get pregnant in Oct. I think, and I lived with them in 1997, and then after that moved back into the trailer park, and then I believe that they lived with me there, not for a long time, but a couple of days, which I was living with a friend named John, who I was helping out, while working at Staffords, who eventually moved out on his own, but I had to pay him for the down payment of staying at the trailer after he moved out.
Which if you want to help me out with my V.A. case call the department of Veterans Affairs at 1-800-827-1000, and say I am calling on behalf of one Shane Edward Lee, case number 257 23 2433, and have read this statement on the internet, and believe that the government is doing me wrong, and that he had a hard time in the Navy, through no fault of his own, and was made crazy by the war, and how his shipmates were treating him, you can also e-mail them at https//iris.va.gov and I would like to thank you for doing so in advance.
Now I also wrote my Congressmen and Senators telling them how I think that it is a double standard for the military to have a diffent standard than the civilian government, and that a Veteran should also have 2 years to reopen his, or her claim if they file right away, only I tried to work, because of the low rating that they gave me, though I also wrote President Bush, and posted a couple of posts on the Congress web site, which it is Congress who has to change the law so that I can get compensated back to when I was discharged, so you can also contact your own Congressmen, and Senators, to say that you think that Veterans should be given up to 2 years to file, if they file right away, after the initial rating goes through the V.A. system, though also have up to 2 years to file after discharge, if they don't file right away, if they are given a low initial rating, but weren't informed of the nature of their injuries, which as soon as I hear something from them telling me that they will back pay me I will let you all know.
Thanks to anyone, and everyone who calls for me, or e-mails the va for me, no threats please.
I then started hanging out with David again, and trying to help him get back and forth to work, which he was a corner worker at Roebling Road race way in Faulkville GA, and we would still see Myron once and awhile, but not like when we were young.
I would also work occasionally, and made a couple bucks, but couldm't do it full time, or anything, because I was taking David back and forth to work, and helping him out, because he had a daugther with his current girl friend, and 2 other daughters with his ex-wife, and was behind on child support, and I helped him get his license back, and get a job at Gulf Streem, and even lost my 2 cars to help him get his own, and traded out of them, because I wanted him to use the King Cab, and me just add him to my insurance, but he wouldn't hear of it, so I finally traded out my Mustang, and Nissan, for a Tarus S.H.O., V-8, black with chrome wheels, and David got a blue Dodge V-6, Daytona, I think it was a 1992 year model, and things seemed to be going good for awhile, but he couldn't keep up the payments, and I co signed for him, at least that was supposed to be the plan, but it all got messed up, and both cars were put in my name, and I had insurance on both cars, and was making payments on the Tarus, and David couldn't keep up the payments, so I had to trade out of the S.H.O, and get a Dodge 2000 Stratus, and then the car got wrecked, but the insurance company didn't want to fix the engine, because it went bad, and I got stuck with the car, which eventually got reposesed, then David got another car, and wanted me to add it to my insurance, and I still did, but told him that it would only be for a couple of months, and that he would have to get his own, and he wound up wrecking it, but I had already taken him off of the insurance by then, and he tried to blame me a little, but I still helped him out, and did what I could, and he eventually had to move to another state with his girlfriend, yet through it all I still kept a positive attitude, and started writing the V.A. to explain my case and trying to get them to back pay me anyway, because the Navy lied to me about where the break occurred, and didn't disclose to me if I broke the illium, or the sacrum, or what, which they know, becasue they have all of my records, all I got was what the Navy put in my medical records, and it neve said which part of the pelvis I broke, which now I am driving a 2003 Dodge Neon, as shown in the picture.
I did the best that I could, and tried to work on writing a book from 1999-2003, or so when I finished it, and gave a copy to my sister, after I got part of my settlement from the V.A., though I also have been working on getting the rest of my disability, and read the Bible 5 times during the time I worked at Labor Finders, though I had already read it once while going out to Christian Fellowship Church International, and from 1996-1998, while working with Labor Finders to prove that I could both work, and study the word of God to the Navy, and V.A., and read it four different ways, first starting with the writings of Paul in the New Testament, and then going from their to the end of Revelation, and then back to the Old, and then to the Gospels, and then starting in the Old Testament, the Minor Prophets, and the Gospels, and then the writings of Paul and the other disciples, and then the rest of the Old Testament, and then starting with the New Testament to the writings, to the book of Revelation, to the beginning of the Old, and fiinally starting with the Old Testament, and reading it straight through in the order that it is in the King James Version of the Bible, and then I got an Interlinear Bible in Hebrew and Greek, and a Strong's Concordance, and started learning, and kept myself as busy as possible with the arthritic pain, and scar tissue damage, because when working I would go to sleep at night with tears in my eyes from the pain, but would still get up, and try to work the next day.
I found out about the Gnostic Gospels in 1993, and eventually got a copy of it, and read it, and came to understand that they were using some weird form of sarcasm to try and stop the Orthodox church from changing the teaching of the Disciples, but they also had truth with their sarcasm, and you had to understand, which was which, and also called Adam a true hermaphrodite, so this isn't just my idea, or anything, but they were unorthodox in the way that they presented their message, and the true interpretation of the teaching of Jesus and the disciples became lost over time.
I also would go back to Labor Finders once and a while to drive for Kathryn Stevens, but only worked a couple of months, and also for KFC, or Kentucky Fried Chicken, for about a month, or worked for the local Movie Theater, called the Westside Cinemas, which was more part time, but though I started out good, and worked part time, my mid back, left femer and hip joint, and ankle would bother me to where I couldn't stand, sit, or walk for long periods like I could as a teenager, though I did try to work for Cooper Tires here in Garden city full time, and for the 1st week did so good that they wanted to hire me, but the second week my back and arthritic pain kicked in, and started bothering me, and I slowed down allot, and he let me go, but also got into another wrech, and tried to work a security job, but that gave me problems right away, and all I got was 3,000.00 from the insurance company, but I also got into another accident, because the traffic in the right lane was backed-up further than the traffic in the left lane, and coming up on the scene, I couldn't guite stop in time, and had to swerve, and almost avoided hitting the guy, and hit the breaks, and the air bag didn't go off even with a front end collision, which only the drivers half of the car was damaged, and I pulled over to the side of the road, with only a few seconds to react.
Just recently I started trying to contact some of the Talk shows to see if they would be interested in my story, I e-mailed, and sent Oprah, and Montel copies of my medical Records to prove to them that my story is true, because I don't know of hardly anyone who survived two near death experiences like I did, and was hoping to be on one of the talk shows, and even e-mailed Doctor Phil, Jay Leno, and David Letterman, and the View, Regis and Kelly, Tony Danza, Jane Pauley, 20/20, primetime, and even Ripley's Beilive it or not, but no one responded so far, and also INSP, and the Word network, and also Mid morning live with Sonny, and Jody, here in Sav. again on WTOC, I also sent in a tape to the Jeopardy to become apart of the clue crew, (though I also contacted the Insider back in Jan. when I heard about the story of Petra breaking her own pelvis and losing her boyfriend Simon at the insideronline.com, and wrote an e-mail of encouragement, and wished her a speedy recovery, and hoped that Simon would be found,) but I guess my tape wasn't selected as a finalist, which was back in January, so I decided to start my own web page, which brings us to now, which I lay down and work on my computer, and exercise, and walk for at least 30-45 minutes each day, anywhere from one to four times a day, though I have a huge limp, and try to hide it, though I probably shouldn't be walking at all, and have to rest whenever my leg bothers me which can be anywhere from an hour to a couple of hours, and lay down from 6:00 P.M. to 10:00 A.M, which is at least 16 hours, and will sit at my computer, with my left leg up, resting on the top of the housing unit, and trying to block the pain, which I am on anywhere from an hour to maybe 2, and this is just to add a few more lines to what I have already wrote, which I did take Type writing in school, and tried to learn word perfect while in the Navy, while in the process of discharge, which it is about the time that I met Maribel my Filipino girlfriend, that I actually got a copy of the Gnostic gospels, but had to almost force myself to read it, because the way they wrote it was strange to me, but I pressed on, and came to understand, which even the Gnostics mentioned the Trinity, and God being in three person all male.
Even the male and female are one in Christ Jesus, which Paul said male and female, going back to Genesis 1:27, where it says male and female created he them, from the image and likeness of God, that Adam was originally in, which is where the male and female are one, and in the same body as the image of the spirit, that is neither male nor female, though with Jew or Gentile, Paul uses or, or nor, but with the male and female he uses and, or Kai, which God started showing me this after I got involved with the church that I got involved with while I was in the Navy, which also clicked in my head without being told directly about it, but again it is difficult to go out on your own without anyone acting worthy to know or explain the truth, so I am posting these bloggs to help those who want to know the truth, to know the truth.
For more facts go to www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/test/ also www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/Finally/
For pictures go to www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/shane
www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/s1
www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/s2
www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/s4
www.angelfire.com/realm3/shane_lee_1of2/s5
All I can do is point the way that the eternal Spirit is showing me, and share it with you, it is up to you to listen or not listen, and whatever you do not only shapes the world of today, but the world of tommorrow, and the future.
I certify that the information contined in this blog is true to the best of my knowledge and belief.

Posted by realm3/shane_lee_1of2 at 1:42 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 31 January 2006 11:35 AM EST
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