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The Spiritual Expressionz of a Wild Child.

All these long years I have been filled with sorrow and anger. I have wished and longed for that which was beyond my reach. When you left my father, in your need to be free from his chains, you had to cut all binds.
In doing so you took a piece of many of us. With you, you took my blood and my family. You took all my chances to know my brother and the sweetness of memories that are made between siblings. I was so angry at you all these years and filled with hate for the chance that you stole from me. I would not speak your name, for it hurt my heart. I lit a candle every year on his birthday hoping that he could feel my spirit near to his heart.

     I am more sorry than words can say. God has sent me peace and forgiveness to replace my anger and my hate. Some days ago, I dreamed that you came to me and shared your sorrow and your fear. When you opened your heart to me in this dream, I was afraid of you because of all these years of bearing the pain of my loss. Afraid, to be hurt. I know that the man you once married is not always a nice man. I know that he is not always a good man. I know and knew then why you went away from him. I just wanted to know my brother and I never had a chance. I awoke from that dream knowing something more than all that though. It was something that I don't know how to express in words. All I can say is I forgive you and release all the animosity that I bore you all these years. I am sorry and hope that you can accept my genuine remorse for this. Please forgive me for being so blind in my weakness and my sorrow.

     I hope that we can heal from the years and put the turbulent times behind us. I want you to know that you are welcome in my life if ever you chose. I can understand if you have doubts when it comes to my intentions but I hope that you can have a little faith in me. I write you to mend the years. I write to dispel what time has done. I write to give my support in a cause that I love. I know the love you feel for your son, I remember. I have a son and a daughter that share that same place in my heart. They are, as Mary said, “precious”. I know now the meaning of that word. I am sure that you raised him with love and faith. I am sure you gave him a life that he could not have had. I know that you gave him what my mother gave me, a chance, a chance to be more than what our father was and his father before him. I hope that you can come past the blood of my father in my veins because I am little of the man that he was. I only wish to heal from the wounds of life, atone for my misdirection, to carry you not as a regret and share the peace and forgiveness that God has shown to me.

   Reverend Gaea