My brother's wife filed for divorce
in 2001 and I just can't seem to think the courts or
his lawyer has any interest in his well being.
Alberta had a drastic oilfield boom last year and he
made 116,000. and the two previous years he made
84,000. and 79,000. The case is not finished but in
the last months since sept 11 oil and gas has
employment has slowed down dramatically. Working all
his days off the maximum amount in the last 6 months
he made $3400. and the court has ordered temporarily
for him to pay 3200. per month plus half the child
care expenses. So he has been in the hole for the
last 6 months. He moved backed home and it quite
embarrassed to be with his parents. The court also
said for his visitation he is to provide food and
shelter. I asked how is this. He has lost 31 pounds
from not eating...can't afford to eat that is why
last month I encouraged him to move to our parent's
home. She is living in the house and secretly cleaned
out the bank accounts and in court she said she
needed the money to feed the children...but spent 2
weeks in Hawaii for Christmas. I had to secretly buy
presents for the children at Christmas for him and
for having been a successful caring man he is
suffering depression (I think). His lawyer said he
should sign off his half of the house and give her
all the rrsp.s and keep it easy. We are not talking
about a guy who would even raise his voice to his
wife and a very caring father and if she decided to
have an affair why should she and the boyfriend (she
had an affair and carried it on) get to live the life
style she is accustomed to and he can't even pay
rent. We are from Red Deer Alberta and I know he
can't afford another lawyer but any suggestions. I am
sick to my stomach about this and I can see how
helpless he feels. PLEASE, IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO
HELP US. MY BROTHER SAID HE IS ALMOST TO THE POINT OF
NOT FIGHTING FOR ANY ASSETS OR HIS TWO DAUGHTERS
ANYMORE. IT'S LIKE A DEATH TO HIM. SHE HONES HIM AND
SAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE MONEY TO AT LEAST GET TO WORK TO
PAY ME AND I SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT KNOWING YOU ARE
STARVING ha ha! SHE HAS VERBALLY AND PSYCHICALLY
ABUSED HIM THROUGHOUT THE MARRIAGE IN FRONT OF ALL
THE FAMILY AND I AM THANKFUL HE HAS NEVER HIT HER.
Kim Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies)
Posted At 17:50:20 03/11/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I cannot believe what you said, we are going through
almost the exact same thing. We are in the process of
losing everything. What a feeling to know that
someone else understands. Thank you so very much!!
Kim Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 1 replies)
Posted At 17:51:22 03/11/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trina, my friend is going through pretty much the
EXACT same thing as your brother, so I know where you
are both coming from. My friend has lost everything
in the last year from his house to the fish in his
fish pond (she stole them one weekend when she
cleaned out the family home while he went away with
the children for the weekend) if you can access my
email addy from this I would love to hear from you.
Leanne Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies)
Posted At 10:42:22 04/21/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Trina, I can believe what you say. My brother is
going through the exact same thing. What I cannot
believe is how unfair our so called justice system
is. Not only is my brother being screwed by the
system but 2 other male friends that I know of. My
brother has worked hard for over 20 years, thinking
that he is building himself a life and family. The
next thing he knows is everything he worked for is
taken from under his feet and handed over to her
along with his children. He cannot afford to live on
his own, because by the time he pays her child and
spousal support he has nothing left for himself. In
the meantime she brings home more than he does. Over
the past 2 years I have had my eyes opened up to our
so called justice system and just wonder who makes
these laws and if/when they will be changed. Peter
Woodcock Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies)
Posted At 12:14:31 09/30/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought I was alone in this problem! I divorced an
alcoholic wife last year and at the same time lost a
good paying job. We were married 15 years with no
children. I spent most of that time trying to help
her with her disease. Bottom line "no good deed
goes unpunished" I have been out of work for 18
months and have no money with loosing everything
slowly, day by day.
I was hauled into court in Massachusetts last week
and they did not care that I had no money. I have to
pay $3,000 in arrears or go to jail. They don't care,
they just want the money. I am stunned at the
kangaroo court system and loosing faith in our
justice? system.
My attorney was useless.
I'm sorry for every decent person that is getting the
shaft.....it's heartbreaking. At least I don't have
kids. That would be even worse. Not to be dramatic
but I do think of killing myself or picking up a
drink...but have to keep the faith. Good luck to all
of you. Peter Tyler Ell Re: unfair alimony???
(Currently 0 replies) Posted At 12:02:20 10/27/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I too am about to embark on a similar situation. I've
been married only about 2 years but have also shared
in the growth of my two children, 3 and 2, with my
wife for five years she now wants to leave me. I feel
also I will be dragged through the sharped sprockets
of injustice. After reading your story I can't
believe there isn't some type of constitutional
challenge here. I mean you too like myself are
citizen of this so called free country, Canada. Are
we not allowed to pursue happiness here like anyone
else and if there are laws preventing us from that
pursuit of happiness, is there then not a
constitutional challenge here? I'm not a lawyer in
any aspect of the word but hope this will bring some
insight and direction for your absent Brother. Good
Luck Tyler Ell Janet Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently
0 replies) Posted At 14:18:00 11/06/2002
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend is divorcing his physically and verbally
abusive spouse of 21 years (stayed till the kids were
18, and he's being shafted for $45,000 support, she
gets ALL the assets (including his retirement!) and
he gets ALL the liabilities. The formula for the
support, according to the judge, was (his income -
her income) X 1.5.
This is just wrong. He's worked 3 jobs for 20 years
to support her spending habits and now he's being
screwed for it.
Oh, I almost forgot. He has to pay BOTH lawyers.
I love Oklahoma, but you don't want to be a man in a
divorce case here. John Re: unfair alimony???
(Currently 0 replies) Posted At 07:55:19 04/01/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They (the court system) could care less about the
men. As long as you have access to a newspaper and a
park bench that should be good enough for you.
Then when the guy is at the end of his rope and snaps
and does something to her and gets in trouble with
the law everybody scratches their heads and say
"I wonder what got into him" We have a
system (thanks in large to the HATEFUL feminazis)
that discriminates against men and until we as men
are willing to stand up for ourselves it will
continue and only get worse. Charles Buchanan Re:
unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies) Posted At
10:48:16 08/23/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex, who lives 7000 miles away from me, is bright
and applied for an alimony increase through her
country's court system, when she was in between jobs.
She now has a better paying position and I'm being
milked dry. As a Canadian how can I have this
reversed as it's crippling me? T.Labon Re: unfair
alimony??? (Currently 0 replies) Posted At 12:56:04
10/28/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a gambling wife for 27 yrs. She spent all the
money I made. We separated last year and she got the
house, half the pension, and I have to pay about half
my earnings which she uses to go to Atlantic city and
other gambling places. She used to work but now she
says she has a hip problem. Yet she goes bowling and
dancing but the Judge can't see that. My Lawyer was
useless and it looks like he was working for her.
They Just want to move on to the next case and nail
another hard working man. I am very disappointed with
the court system. I cant believe that a Judge can
show such a lack of wisdom and understanding. People
in a position of authority and trust should be held
accountable for their actions but I'm sure these
arrogant bastards won't be reading this to educate
themselves. I feel for you all. Jennifer Re: unfair
alimony??? (Currently 0 replies) Posted At 00:03:58
11/20/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a friend who is married to a severe alcoholic,
very abusive woman. He has documentation of
everything she has put the family through and the
lawyer says he can do nothing. He has to pay her
4000+ a month plus his retirement plus the equity in
his house all the assets. She got fired from her job
a day or so ago because of her heavy drinking. This
is a woman who goes through 1.75L of vodka in 2 days.
She hits him, she stalks him, and all the lawyer says
is perhaps the judge will grant her a lifetime of
spousal support. I am a woman and I think this is
horrid to ruin someone! The court system sucks, the
justice system is bad, and can't a woman be the
abuser and the dead beat? He feels just helpless.
Chris J. Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies)
Posted At 09:30:35 12/20/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have been married for 12 years, have one son (7
yrs) and my wife filed for divorce in February this
year. I make $60K/Year Salary plus Commissions. I am
on track to make $100K Gross this year. The court
temporarily ordered me to pay $2900 month Child
Support $2000 month Alimony (She doesn't work, claims
she is disabled) 1/2 Mortgage, 1/2 private school
tuition, 100% Car insurance, 100% Both life insurance
policies. Oh yea...when we split she took the $25k in
the bank earmarked for taxes. We still have not filed
for 2002 because she has all the receipts and papers.
The judge ordered me responsible for paying the taxes
but if there is a refund I have to split it!!! I was
making good money $15-20K per month, but biz got
slower just before the breakup. The judge thinks it
was suspicious that the income went down and that I
am hiding income! I am going bankrupt, lost my car,
and my son's mother still claims she has no money for
X-Mas shopping. She is going to Toys for Tots!!!
The way I see it, I could have a bad commission
month, I am obligated to pay out $4900/mo for alimony
and support but my salary is $5K/mo BEFORE TAXES!!!!
Where is the justice? Jerry H Re: unfair alimony???
(Currently 0 replies) Posted At 11:14:34 12/24/2003
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does anyone have any suggestion for avoiding unfair
alimony? No kids, only a greedy ex wife that is
getting 40K per year, and garnished my wages. I am
planning on running, I just don't know where. E.
Kelly Re: unfair alimony??? (Currently 0 replies)
Posted At 20:55:37 01/11/2004
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unfair alimony and child support. I am a self
employed woman who is shocked at the number of men
getting sucked dry through the court system after
divorce. I am involved with a man who resides with me
and couldn't live on his own if he wanted to. The
ex-#$$% gets all his pay for alimony and child
support. The courts in N.J. could care less if the
man has enough money to buy a cup of coffee. We are
fighting...let her chase the money...he pays the CS
(garnished) but she can chase the alimony!!! I have
no respect for the week and needy women in this world
who use the laws to punish their ex-husbands. If they
can't understand why they aren't married anymore look
at how they are through a divorce!! The laws are
wrong. When will men start to fight this. The laws
need to be changed. The laws are never about
parenting and children, only money. I hope no good
man ever gets involved with the woman my man has
divorced. Well I could go on and on but there are far
too many unfair divorce cases for men in this
country. WORRIED FOR HIM Re: unfair alimony???
(Currently 0 replies) Posted At 13:09:00 01/22/2004
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE MAN I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO MARRY FOR 3 YEARS HAS
BEEN TAKEN FOR MORE THAN HE BRINGS HOME. ALSO WITH
PERMANENT ALIMONY AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. I OWN
A HOME AND HE LIVES WITH ME. NOW IT SEEMS THE COURTS
ARE TAKING IN CONSIDERATION MY INCOME. I'VE BEEN
CONSULTED BY 4 LAWYERS AND THEY SAY NOT TO MARRY THIS
MAN. THAT I SHOULD BE CONSIDERING LEAVING VERSES A
PRENUPTIAL TO KEEP HIS X-WIFE FROM MY ASSETS. SO,
LAWYERS NOT ONLY HAD NO CARE OF HIS DAY IN COURT, THE
ARE QUICK TO TELL ME HIS FUTURE IS IMPOSSIBLE. I HAVE
ALSO BEEN TOLD OF THE DRASTIC MEASURES THEY ARE GOING
TO. (SUICIDE) NO ONE WANTS TO BELIEVE THESE STORIES
UNTIL ONE HAPPENS TO THEM. WE ARE TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY
THAT A JUDGE CAN ORDER THE IMPOSSIBLE. I THINK THEY
WANT TO SEE HIM HANG HIMSELF SO SHE CAN COLLECT THE
LIFE INSURANCE
