For those women who don't understand...

There is a common stereotype of older, single women who are only able to attract the attention of their cats. Ask your mother about "spinsters".

One of our many Agents of Social Change has given you a Free Cat Card:

Why did you receive this card?

You have clearly demonstrated one or more of the following:

• Impossibly high standards and thoroughly unrealistic expectations regarding men (It ain't plated in gold, cupcake)

• Excess negativity and way too much complaining (you obviously haven't smiled in this century and also find complaining more enjoyable than shopping)

• Feminist tendencies (All men aren't pigs and you're pretty damned stupid to think that. But "smart feminist" is an oxymoron)

• Reckless pursuit of bad boys and stubborn refusal to accept a good man (This goes along with your flagrant abuse of the "friend zone")

• Rationalizing shockingly poor life decisions with the corrupting influence of your female friends who are all doing the same dumb things which only serves to validate your horrible decisions. You go Grrlz! (Right into a life a bitter and lonely spinsterhood)

• Embracing the cold lifestyle of shallow careerism and unrewarding materialism (It's only a job and those nice things you have won't keep you warm on cold evenings)

• Being a goldigger (We admire your honesty in a weird kind of way)

• Wearing "Princess" or "Bitch" on an article of clothing (You are only the latter)

• Unrealistic body image combined with ridiculously high self-esteem that borders on arrogant delusion (Just lose weight and shut up about "fat acceptance" because it ain't gonna happen, chubby)

• Being a drama-filled entitlement queen who thinks the whole world revolves you (Grow up, seriously)

While you might argue strenuously that you are happily married or happily involved in a committed relationship, please note that we've already contacted your husband/fiancé/boyfriend and he feels otherwise. He's just too scared to say anything. Frankly, we don't blame him. Don't confront him, he'll probably dump you and for good reason.

If you're still single, we're not surprised.

Does this card make you angry and upset? It should. Hopefully, there is still time to change your attitudes towards men and towards life. While you are enjoying your sizzling indignity and looking for someone to blame (other than yourself, of course), have a look at our " Rules for Single Women".

It could change your life.