Author’s Note: Yes, I am the original songfic-hater but I thought this (“I Love You” by Sarah McLachlan—which I do not own.) went perfectly with how Ginny was feeling. And being a music-lover… well… I just couldn’t resist. ^^;
I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road
You grew up too fast. When I was running around in the open fields playing with my brothers you were shut up in a cupboard… with no one but the darkness for company. But that cupboard door finally opened… you were finally free. But you took the darkness with you because it was all you knew. You finally had friends, people who loved you, but that darkness was still in you. To this day I believe I am the only one who could see that darkness in you, but it didn’t frighten me, because I had it in myself too.
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
I am your best friend’s sister. I always have been. I suppose I always will be. But I pray to God that sooner or later you will discover there’s more to me than that. Who knows? Perhaps you already have. I wouldn’t know. But I’m not personally offended or anything, I understand you have much more important issues at hand than your feelings for Ginny Weasley, merely a little girl in your eyes.
The world around us disappears
I’ve told you over and over that I think of you as only a friend. That’s of course, a lie. Everyone appears to know that but you. You’re smart, Harry, but the utmost obvious things oftentimes go unnoticed right under your nose. Which is all right under the circumstances. As I’ve already said, you have much more important things to deal with than the silly feelings of a silly little girl.
But somewhere down the road I grew up. I think you might have missed it. But maybe not. Maybe you’re more aware than you like to let on. I suppose I’ll never be entirely sure until I tell you just how I feel.
It’s just you and me
on my island of hope
a breath between us could be miles
Time is slipping through our fingers. Like smoke. We try desperately to cling to it but to no avail. I am perfectly aware of this… and yet… I can’t tell you how I feel. You could die, all too soon. I’m aware that I may never have the opportunity to reveal my feelings to you ever again. But I can’t do it. I think maybe it’s because a part of me is afraid that you’ll live. That sounds terrible, but it’s true. You’ll conquer over the Dark Lord and you will know my true feelings. But you will not return them. We’ll go through life in a series of awkward small talk sessions. And I think I’d rather you just not know how I feel at all…
Let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek…
Now I stand in the shadows, hidden from your presence. Maybe you see me in the corner, watching you, but you show no signs of recognition. Or maybe you’re just too lost in your thoughts to notice anything.
Oh, but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say,
and you just walk away…
You’re the only one awake, except for me, of course. I’ve recently discovered that sleep is entirely overrated. You stare into the common room fire. I see your face reflected in the light. Your beautiful emerald eyes are thoughtful, mature… maybe scared. But who wouldn’t be?
And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
For one brief and shining moment I seriously contemplate walking up to you, telling you exactly how I feel, that I love you more than life itself. That I’d fight your battles, face your demons, die for you if I could.
But what would that help? Who would that help? Only myself. And I can’t be so selfish when you’re being so selfless. The world has shouldered you with its greatest burden and I have not heard one complaint pass through your lips. Who am I to add to your troubles?
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so.
I decide to retreat back to my dormitory, where another sleepless night awaits me. Regret washes over me in a great wave. I should tell you. I should get it over with. Maybe you feel the same… is it possible?
Oh, but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away…
When I begin to walk back up the stairs I must make a sound, because all of a sudden I can feel your eyes on me. I turn around. Our eyes meet. And for a while a feel nothing but complete and utter…understanding. It’s a wonderful feeling. Being understood.
And I forgot
to tell you
I love you,
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you…
You smile at me. Your smile is sad and weary, but it’s still your smile, it’s still beautiful. I smile back. That’s all I need for now.
And I grieve in my condition,
For I cannot find the words to say I need you so.
