How quickly the tides turn...
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Sonata Quasi Una Fantasia (Moonlight Sonata)
Topic: School
Okay, so today went real sour real fast.

I kinda got emotionally lynched shortly before coming home.

Was walking with Brad and Casey up to Brad's car so..*sighs deeply*..she could take him over to driver's ed. On the way up, Casey accidentally referred to Brad as a she. For those of you who DON'T know, Brad considers herself a boy in every way except anatomically. She's saving up for the change.

But anywho, she corrected him. Then he noticed that she hadn't corrected him before, and she just said that his grace period for getting used to it was over. I commented on how it surprised me that I wasn't getting yelled at anymore.

Brad's first response wasn't that painful, it was the one that came a few seconds later that really hurt.

The first response was "That's because I've given up on you ever treating me the way I want you to."

I kinda sputtered that I wasn't trying to do that, it wasn't my motive, etc. I honestly don't remember what Casey said next, I was so busy trying to hide the "ow...."

Then came the salty lemon juice. I honestly don't remember the exact wording, because at that point I was fighting hard to keep composure. It was essentially something along the lines of "I consider you (Casey) a good enough friend that I expect you to comply." Essentially, I am no longer a good friend because I refuse to conform to her rules.

My personality is an uber-high S. Y'know, touchy, feely, and sensitive. S's base their entire world on loyalty. Everything we do, say, think, etc, is based off of loyalty.

Imagine for a second.. and it won't be hard, most of you reading this are also S.. how painful it is when those we are loyal to sever that loyalty. Now add to the mix the REASON why said person severed the loyalty.

Because my integrity and loyalty to my faith and beliefs is causing pain to those I care about.

I honestly want to go out into the utter middle of nowhere, collapse to my knees, and just scream.

The next-best thing would be to collapse in someone's arms and just be reassured that not everything I do goes horribly wrong, but that won't happen either.

For now, I'm resigned to the fact that my beliefs simply cannot happily co-exist with that which defies them. One of them is going to have to submit.. and one of them is already guaranteed to lose.

Now I know how Moses felt..