Coming out of the shell hurts..
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Something About Us - Daft Punk
I'm feeling much better, just slightly bummed. It's like after years of being an anti-social and wanting people to leave me alone, I have discovered my niche. Realized I have a posse of people who are all weird in their own way, and they WANT to hang out with me. They don't care how weird I am, they wanna get to know me.

And I've realized this just in time to only have one year left...

Mom and I got talking about it, because it seems like everyone's scheduling things on the worst possible date. Byron wants to get a group of people to go see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow on the 17th, Jen's scheduling a sleepover for the girls on the 17th, and Dad's gone on the 17th.

On top of Mom being due in three months.

She's not too thrilled about the idea of having the kids overnight by herself with no helper, but I think she's noticed how much I've been trying to be social lately. She said she'd think about it.

But there was something else she said, something I've somehow managed to miss. "Life will still continue after Japan. The people you want to hang out with will still be here, and then you'll be old enough to have more freedom."

I guess I'm scared of having changed so much that we'll no longer click, or that I won't have changed and they will. Or that they'll simply not be here anymore. Or that they'll be busy with others and have no time for me.

Honestly, I'm dying to get to Japan. It's where my heart has been for years, it's where I belong. Several people have already said I'm a Japanese in a white girl's body. Heh..

I'm just scared of missing an entire year of my best friend's lives. Or maybe I'm scared of missing THEM for an entire year. I never have dealt with change well, and going to/being in Japan is going to be the biggest change I've EVER gone through.

Either way, Mom's right. I'm.. particularly emotional at the moment.. *Cough, shifty glances* ..Sleep would do me well. I'll have plenty of time to mull it over anyway. I do still have a whole year left. B'sides, gotta get ready to concentrate on school.

I suppose on the plus side, I'm very "passionate" about my friendships. ^.^;