By Ariel
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild child abuse/scolding, references to NCS, Ariel POV
Disclaimers: From now until I feel like adding the other important borrowed people, all ideas and characters are mine. *grins* Don't take. It won't make me happy and then you won't like what will happen.
Author’s Note: Last chapter was very dark, I know. This one will not be too bad, short but alright. Perhaps a bit of a shocker from someone depending on if the muse feels like cooperating.
Dedicated: *snicker* Wouldn’t you like to know?
The sunlight filtered in from the window and I felt the gentle rays warm my body. Very slowly, I blinked my eyes open, groaning before I clenched them shut as I was momentarily blinded by the light. I sensed someone shuffling around me and I once again tried opening my eyes. The offending sun was no longer harassing my vision with its brightness since someone was kind enough to shut the blinds.
“Ariel?” I heard a timid whisper after a few moments of my thoughtless staring up at the ceiling, my body feeling as if a very large truck hit it. Carefully, I turned my face over to the voice, wincing in pain at the slight movement but wanting to see where exactly I was. I realized that I was on my bed, in the room that I shared with the other girls. However, the only person there at the moment was my best friend, Tru.
I managed a slight smile as I met her concerned hazel eyes before I clenched my eyes shut, feeling a sharp pang as a headache struck me full force. I heard her call out for someone as I was overcome by a dry cough and seconds later, I felt cool hands lift me up to a sitting position and rub my back as soothingly as possible to help calm me. After stopping my hacking, I whimpered in pain and rested limply against the body, not really caring who it was anymore.
As if reading my thoughts, Tru spoke softly as she climbed up on the foot of my bed. “Ariel? Come on ‘n open your eyes. ‘m sure Ms. Haine wants to take a look at you before she needs to go back to her office.”
It had the desired effect. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, turning my head slowly and looking up to meet a pair of black eyes. The coldness I expected was not present and I could actually see concern in the dark depths. After a moment of awkward gazing, I shifted – very slowly – away from her. She must have seen the pain in my eyes because she made a soft sound and helped me lay back down.
“Easy Ariel. I have no real desire to tend to you further than I must.” Her usually shrilly voice sounded quite odd in her attempt to be soothing.
Yet I didn’t care. At least she wasn’t scolding me but I knew that it was coming sooner or later. It was fine. I deserved it. I should have realized it was getting dark and tried to get everyone inside. I should have worked harder to convince Tru not to leave the yard. I should have gone back with Horace when he caught Tru. So yeah, I guess I deserved it. What had happened was part of my punishment for having survived the accident. Apparently death doesn’t want my presence.
I glanced up at Ms. Haine; the headmistress was regarding me with an expression I could not really place. It didn’t scare me…any beating this woman could give me would be welcomed over what that man did to me. But then again, I ran from him. He scared me – and I ran. But maybe if I hadn’t run, he wouldn’t have had his way with me. Maybe I’d still have my clothes in one…
“My clothes,” I mumbled as I pushed myself up only to groan in pain but I had to look. I settled a bit after I saw that I was wearing the familiar simple gown that Ms. Haine had for each of the orphans. I had bandages all over my legs, my arms, my stomach and and it was not that I realized they were also on my face as well. I probably should have been surprised that the mistress was allowing me to sit up despite the pain I felt from being in such a position. Perhaps she understood my insecurity. Perhaps she wasn’t as bad as the others and myself thought.
It didn’t matter now anyway. I was safe. Or so I allowed myself to believe. That man couldn’t have hurt me now if he had wanted to. If not because of headmistress Haine, then because Tru. She would call for help on my behalf. I still had her and with the sad look on her face as she watched me, I knew she wouldn’t willingly leave my side without a fight.
After meeting her hazel eyes briefly, I looked up at Ms. Haine as I eased myself back down. A pained looks must have crossed my face because the headmistress was once again fussing over me. “Dear… please be careful.” And then she started changing some of my bandages – a process which she seemed to do quickly now after having repeated the process apparently more than a few times. I weakly asked her how long I had been asleep. “Oh… about two days Ariel,” and then she continued on. “I was rather surprised to see you collapse the other night. Horace returned with Tru and I sent him out to look for you.” I noticed Tru nod in agreement to the headmistress’ story. “When I brought you in, I tended to your wounds. It must have been a horrible experience…”
She kept talking, noticing that I really wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying. When I met her eyes, I realized she was just talking to give me a sense of security – even if it was her voice. I grasped onto the familiarity of it – not really wanting to let my thoughts wander. I didn’t want to think about the incident just yet. I felt horrible; the fact that I didn’t really understand everything only made me feel worse. I just wanted to be left alone. A part of me just wanted to die. Another few minutes passed and Ms. Haine soon finished up. I gave her a small smile, yet it never reached my eyes. “Thank you, ma’am,” I whispered.
Ms. Haine studied me for a long moment, making me squirm quite a bit under her scrutiny before she smiled and touched my cheek with her fingertips. “You’re welcome Ariel.” She then turned and looked at Tru. “I suppose you will stay here with her?” When the other girl nodded, the headmistress sighed softly. “Very well. You know where my office is if you need to find me.” She walked towards the door, stopping to glance back at me. “Take it easy. I don’t want you out of bed without any help, understood?”
“Yes, Ms. Haine,” I whispered again before closing my eyes when she left, hearing her footsteps fade as she went down the hallway and down the stairs. I stayed quiet for a moment, taking calming breaths. “Tru? Are you alright?”
I felt the bed shift and when I opened my eyes, I saw that Tru was now laying beside me, propped up on an elbow and looking at me sadly. “I’m so sorry Ariel. It’s all m’ fault. If… if I hadn’t wanted…” She choked on her own sob and I carefully brushed my fingers across her cheek.
“Hey…” I whispered and gave her a small smile. “It’s not your fault. I’m alive, ne?” When she nodded, I covered her hand with mine, noticing the bruises that covered my own. “One day at a time, Tru.” I yawned, wincing in pain at such a simple and natural gesture.
A slight giggled caught my attention. Tru was looking down at me with a kind of wonder and when I questioned her she just shook her head and sighed softly. I wouldn’t have made it through that, Ar.” She leaned down and brushed her lips against my forehead before settling beside me, closing her eyes, her hand holding mine as if she wanted proof that I was there and alive. It was rather endearing since I needed the comfort as well – even if for a different reason. “Unlike me – you’re strong.”
I blinked back some tears but failed as some of them fell from my eyes before I closed them. “No Tru. We both are…” I listened to her make a soft sound of acknowledgement and before long, her breath evened out as she fell asleep. I wondered how long she had stayed awake while I was unconscious. If I had died, she would have been distraught. She would have kept blaming herself. I sighed softly and shook my head.
Perhaps it was better that I didn’t die. It was a given that what I had been through was not a pleasant experience. It was not definitely something that I wanted to go through again, nor did I wish it to happen to Tru or to any of the other kids at the orphanage. The pain was still unbearable. My entire body – inside and out – ached. I was confused about a lot of things… but there was one thing that I was starting to realize.
Perhaps dying is not my thing.
TBC...
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