WANDA SUE, SALLY, & ' Hank'??.....by Coralynn

"Ready to go, sweetie?" WandaSue takes Henry2's hand.
"Shall I change clothing before I go with you?" he asks. "I wouldn't want to arrive improperly clad."
She looks over his rather expensive looking outfit and shakes her head, "Those threads are boss! You'll be a sensation in New York!"
He is surpised when she says loudly, "Back to Sally's place!" and he suddenly finds himself in a living room of a house. He has never seen a room so small.......where are the great stones he is used to seeing in his rooms, the winding turrets, the.......
"Well." is all he can say.
"Make yerself at home, Hank!" Sally says cheerfully, "This is my house. Great, isn't it? And it belongs to me, just to me. No man bought me this place! Nope, I did it myself."
Henry remembers that Eleanor owned property, too, commonly known as Aquitaine, so this news is not a big surprise.
WandaSue goes to the refrigerator and carries out three bottles of Bud. She tosses one to Sally, who catches it expertly, and to Henry, who almost drops his, then recovers it. Looking at it askance, he asks, "And what might this be?"
"It ain't mead, bud!" WandaSue laughs, then walks over and twists the top off the bottle Henry is holding. "Just upend it and experience the best drink in the world!"
Henry slowly tips the bottle into his mouth and a bitter taste overcomes his taste buds. Spewing it out, he yells, "You trying to poison me with this stuff?"
"Sit down, Hank," WandaSue instructs, "Just chill out. Now, that's better. Listen, this is the 21st Century, and I know all about it. You need me, kid. If you listen to me, you can have yer kid back, maybe even Rosesl-----, I mean, Rosamond. You have everything to gain. But ya gotta do exactly what I tell ya!"
Henry rolls his eyes.
"First, you need some time to observe what she's been up to. We ain't gonna just stick you in her face. You need to reconoiter, whatever that means. Ya know, just spy a bit on her. She has been living a high old life......and that goon she's married to has gotta be a drug dealer or something worse."
"A drug dealer??"
Sally jumps in, "I just found out about that myself, Hanky. They sell stuff that makes people's minds go crazy. They get rich, while the poor suckers minds are blown out the back of their heads!"
"So you think Rosemond has married a rogue?"
"Oh yeah, fer sure!"
Henry paces, then wanders into the kitchen, opening drawers, the stove, the microwave, peers into the dishwasher, the cupboards, turns on the faucets, then returns to the living room.
"You have some odd things in your cooking room," he announces.
"21st Century, kiddo! What did I tell you? Almost a thousand years into the future, what did you expect? We don't go out and kill our meat by bow and arrow anymore."
Henry's forehead wrinkles, "What do you kill it with?"
WandaSue looks at Sally and the two women breathe out in exasperation.
"We'd better give him the quick orientation, what'd'ya say Sal?"
"But.......how can we take him out in public?"
"Yeah, those clothes went out of style a looooong time ago! Let's see what I can dig up. Oh, yeah, lookee here. These jeans I wore before I lost 50 pounds shoulda oughta fit him!"
Sally stifles a laugh, then looks at the jeans. Henry is far from fat, and apparently when WandaSue wore those jeans she was even more wide in the beams than she is now.
"What about a shirt?" Sally wonders aloud, then the two women go into the suitcase WandaSue keeps at Sally's house and find one of BB's white shirts. Sally holds it up and asks, "What are you doing with this?!"
"Ahhhhh, just a souvenir I swiped offa BB. Why? Why not? Hey, Hanks, this outfit will make you look like a modern guy. Go try it on!" She tosses the clothing to him.
He looks about for privacy.
"Over behind that door.......over there.......you can get dressed."
He disappears into the bathroom. The women hear the faucets being turned on, the toilet flushing, even the sounds of the shower coming through the door.
"Think he's taking a shower?" Sally asks.
"He doesn't know what that thing is. We'll have to teach him everything. After we get back from his quick-tour of the 21st Century, he goes back in his own duds again. Ohhhhh, here he comes."
Henry2 emerges from the bathroom in jeans that bag around his thighs and a white shirt that looks very presentable. WandaSue appraises his appearance, "Lookin' pretty sharp there, kid! Come on! Ya get the quick tour, then we start on the real business......getting you what's yours!"
"I really appreciate this, ladies!" he tries to grin. "It's our pleasure!" WandaSue says as she links arms with him, "After all, fair is fair, and Sally and I are nothing if not humanitarians, ain't that right, Sal?"
"Right, WandaSue!"
They leave the house and head for the Lincoln.


SPY KING.....by Terri

Wanda Sue stuffed Henry into the backseat of the Lincoln. He sat there, fascinated. "What manner of steed is this, may I ask?"
Sally looked at him from the front seat. "Two-eighty horse power. That means if this thing were a carriage, it would have the power of 280 horses pulling it!"
Henry ran his hand over the leather interior. "For sure, I have never seen such a fine carriage!"
Wanda Sue revved up the engine. "Hank, old boy, we are going to take you to McDonald's for lunch!"
Sally laughed. "Big Macs all around!"
Henry looked askance. "McDonald's? Don't you mean the clan MacDougall's?"
But Wanda Sue had pulled into the drive thru. "Let me have six Big Macs, supersize those fries, and large Cokes all around. And make it snappy!"
Henry piped up with, "I'll have haggis!"
The voice over the intercom barked, "Who you callin' a hag, buster?"
Wanda Sue drove up to the window, forked over her money and roared off. Sally said, "Where to?"
Wanda Sue said, "Let's eat our food while it's hot. Hank? Watch out for the..oops! too late!...ketchup packet!"
Henry had squeezed his and it hit the headliner. "By the gods, there is blood in here! And I thought the Saxons were barbaric!" He gingerly drew his finger through it. "Hmm...sweet! Mayhaps not blood at all!"
Wanda Sue looked back. "How those boots fitting, Hank?"
Henry stretched his legs out. "Seems fine. Whose garb is this anyway?"
Wanda Sue looked at him in the rearview mirror. "Remember Billy Bob Montgomery, who sought lodging in your dungeon?"
"Aye, the knave who bedded and wedded my sweet Rose, in that order!"
Wanda Sue and Sally both stuck their fingers down their throats with an "ack, ack!"
Wanda Sue said, "Seems to be the order of the day."
She pulled into the driveway. "Where are we? This is not a castle, but a cottage!"
Wanda Sue said, "Yeah, it's a pretty fancy cottage! This is the 'cottage' of your ladylove. She's not in here yet, but she's fixing it up."
"What of my boy Will? Is he living here?"
Sally said, "Nay, he lives down the street. If you see a young boy with two dogs, then you will know it is your Will. They are his constant companions."

Henry peered out the window, like he expected to see Will out the window. "Is the lad falconing yet? Can he ride a steed at top speed?"
Sally looked at him incredulously. "The squirt is only six, Henry! Get a grip! BUT they did take his training wheels off last week. Saw him ride his bike like a bat out of Hades down the street. Something has happened to New Daddy or he would be out playing basketball with the brat."
Wanda Sue looked furtively around. "OK, get out! This is where we leave you for a while. If a guy comes around, hide! It will be that contractor she hired. Snoop around, see what you can find out. Then tell us and we will tell you what it means. We'll pick you up in an hour."
Sally got out of the car and took a small icepick and jiggled the lock.
She opened the door. "NOW GET! See you in an hour!"

Henry walked through the house. On the floor was a plaid blanket, two wine bottles with candles melted down into them. A few pillows were strewn on the floor.
"Looks like a picnic!" He bent down and examined the blanket. Slightly rumpled. He sniffed the air. Smells sweet...like a meadow. But a little more exotic. He picked up the blanket and sniffed it. It's coming from the blanket! Rose! It's her fragrance! Like at Court....but a little different. Trysting? NO! NOT TRYSTING! She married that rogue!

He kicked the wine bottles over, breaking one of them. He stomped out to what Henry called the cooking area. He saw a wine bottle on the countertop. Chardonnay. French wine! What, no claret?
He opened the refrigerator door. He shut it quickly. Cold? Coming from that box? He opened it again. How ingenious! But what a hideous colour! Like pea soup.
He walked up the stairs. Hmmm...she has one of these rooms that water flows freely. He turned the faucets on the tub. How great!
Henry flipped the switch on the wall. The water began to churn and swirl. This trough looks like it would accomodate two people...you don't suppose...?
No, not possible! Men and women bathed separately! Something in the church rule books, I suppose. I'll have to ask Becket..wait, I had him killed, didn't I? Oh, well...I'm sure I replaced him. I'll ask the replacement. Henry turned the water off.

He looked up at the ceiling. A window on the roof? How great is that! He snooped around and saw windows. Clear. Not grimy. He counted the rooms. Seven upstairs not including the rooms where the water flowed. No furniture in these rooms. So, my love is not living here yet. And where is the lad now? Living with her and that reprobate! Forgetting his sire and his future!
That scoundrel! Oh, Rose! No one knows how to treat you right but me!
From downstairs, he heard the front door open. A woman's voice carried to the upstairs. She was singing a song....kind of smoking and smouldering. ROSE! Henry started for the stairs to greet her. A suprise for my woman! But wait! She's someone ELSE'S woman now! He froze in his tracks.
From downstairs, he heard the singing stop. Silence. Then the voice said, "BLAST IT! I don't remember breaking this wine bottle!"


CELESTE'S DILEMMA........by Coralynn

Celeste hears the doorbell ring as she's unloading the dishes from the dish-washer. Tossing the last of the flatware into the drawer, she goes to the door and finds Beth standing there, beaming.
"And what are you so happy about this fine day, my dear?" Celeste asks cheerily as Beth steps inside.
"Roger is thrilled with the age-blocking potion you gave him, Celeste! He's already gone through two weeks of it and only has two to go. He looks in the mirror every night and asks me if he looks younger. I laugh at him, but I'm really happy that he won't age a day just as if he were a time traveler, too."
"Roger is one in a million, Beth, and deserves to live a long, long time with you. Speaking of time travelers, come back into my room and I'll show you something disturbing."
They walk toward Celeste's room, back through the kitchen, where William is now getting out pots and pans for his turn at cooking dinner. He has a recipe book open and looks up as the two women walk by.
"Well, Beth, so glad to see your happy face! How's your little bairn coming along?"
"Bairns," she corrects him, "twins, William!"
"Boys or girls or one of each?"
"We'll know before long. I'm hoping for one of each. See you in a few," she says as she follows Celeste into the room.
After the door is shut, Celeste sits in front of a new machine Bethia hadn't noticed before and looks at quizzically. "What's that?"
"This is a sensitive instrument that measures how disturbed the ethers are. When a time traveler arrives here, the dial reacts. Look! The dial is way over to the right. Now, that can only mean one thing: we have a new arrival."
"You know how our friends pop in and out of the century, Celeste. Seems we can't keep the whole group in one timeframe for more than a week. Could the instrument be measuring one of their arrivals back from their recent time travel jaunt?"
"I only wish that were the case," Celeste frowns, "But those time trips only jiggle the dial. The dial only reacts this strongly if a brand new person comes into the century. I wish I knew who it could be!"
"Let's try the crystal ball!" Beth says enthusiastically, "Would that show us?"
"It is possible. Let's see what I can get," Celeste tells her as she uncovers the crystal ball and holds her hands over it.
"Show me the new time traveler," she instructs.
The clouds within the ball begin to clear, then cloud up again, then she sees a small room with no light. There does seem to be someone in the room, but the figure is hazy and hard to determine.
"Where is that?" Beth asks.
"I think someone is in a closet in a house. Which house? Hard to say. I don't like this, Bethie, I don't like it one bit!"
"Can you tell whether the new arrival is a friend or foe?"
"My psychic senses are warning me that this is not a friend." She covers the ball with the cloth again. "I'll keep tabs on this situation. Please, as before, not a word to any of the others."
"Not a word, you can count on me!" Beth assures her.
They hear a loud clatter in the kitchen and go out to investigate.
William is sitting on the floor with a pan of some indeterminate liquid dripping from his head.
"How did you do that, William?" both women ask.
"I am not about to tell you, ladies, as, if I do, you'll want to repeat the experiment yourselves!" he laughs as he gets up and reaches for the paper towels.
Celeste and Beth laugh and give him the thumbs up. Ahhh yes, the unsinkable William the C!


HENRY GETS AN EARFULL............by Coralynn

Henry opens the closet door a crack, hoping to see and hear Rosemond, but all he hears is her singing some stupid song about 'everlasting love.' Oh yeah, like she knows about that! Humph, she ditched me, the King for God's sake, what does she want? A knave? A rogue? Does she have no sense at all?
He hears a man's footsteps and a man's voice. Ahhhhh, now we're getting somewhere!
"Good job, Murph!" he hears Rose saying to the man. Henry opens the closet door just a little more and sees a tall, robust man wearing an outfit much like the trousers WandaSue gave him to wear, but these go all the way up to the shoulders. Hmmmmmm.
"A wrap around porch! What a great idea! We can sit out there during the good weather and watch the world go by! We can put a loveseat swing out there!"

Loveseat? Now she's planning a tryst with this guy she calls Murph?? He isn't John; I can tell from the pictures WandaSue showed me. No, this is a man she is lining up to have an affair with, and on her very own porch? Has she no shame?
'Murph', as she calls him, seems to be leaving. Oh my, this is big!! Wait till my new friends hear about this! Oh-oh, my new friends will be picking me up in......what did she say......an hour? How long is that? How can I tell how much time as elapsed since I got here?
He hears a loud ringing. What in thunderation is that sound?!
Rose makes the ringing stop by talking into some instrument she holds up to the side of her head. I'll have to ask WandaSue and Sally just what that is!
He hears, "Oh John, the place is shaping up wonderfully! What say you stop by the deli on the way home and pick us up some seafood salads?.... Oh yes, good plan!....I know, I know, William has been complaining that we aren't 'home' as he calls it, more often than we are." She laughs, "A bed? You want to put a bed in here now?!"
Henry thinks, 'all the easier to have your affair with this Murph guy. John is a fool.'

He hears her put the instrument back where it was resting before.
Then he hears nothing for quite a while. He grows restive. How much longer till the hour is up and how do I get out of here without Rosemond seeing me?
He hears water running.......ahhhhh, she could be in that room where the water runs and the dishes are kept. I'll just tiptoe out the front door; she'll never see me.

He opens the closet door and peers out. Seeing no one, he steps quietly out into the vestibule. Good......the door is nearby. He takes several steps on cat's feet and opens it.
"Murph? You back already?" he hears Rose call out.
He steps outside and closes the door, then runs around the side of the house to hide and wait for his new friends.
Rose appears at the front door, then goes out onto the porch, looking around. She shruggs and goes back inside. Henry breaths a sigh of relief.
It feels like a long time till he sees the big car slowly pause in front of the house. That's them!! He runs over and tires to enter the conveyance. He tugs and pushes and swears, "How do you get the damned door open?!" he asks, gesturing in panic.
Sally jumps out the passsenger door and quickly has the back car door open, which Henry leaps into just as Sally slams it shut again.
"Well, Hank!" WandaSue says enthusiastically, "Find out anything?"
"I certainly did! She is planning a rendevous with some man named Murph."
"Good job!" Sally exclaims.
"Well done, pal!" WandaSue slaps the steering wheel in victory and turns up the radio, which causes Henry to hold his hands over his ears.
As they drive swiftly to Sally's house, Henry takes down his hands and listens, fascinated, to the sounds coming from the car radio. "Born to be Wild?" he laughs, and thinks, "That should be Rose's theme song! Mayhap I should take little Will and get him out of this unwholesome atmosphere! Yes!"
"What'd'ya want for dinner, Hanky?" Sally asks him, breaking his reverie.
"Would stuffed venison be asking too much?"
"We were thinking more along the line of Hungry Man frozen dinners!" WandaSue tells him, "Ya want turkey or chicken?"
"Verily, I care not. I seem to have little appetite since I found that my Rosemond is a.........a........."
"Ya trying to find a polite word that means slut?" WandaSue laughs.
Henry just hangs his head and shakes it, side to side.

DINNER:

WandaSue plops down a HungryMan dinner in front of Henry and beams, "Once you've had this, you won't want anything else!"
He picks up a fork and looks at it, turning it over and over, examing the tines, with a puzzled expression.
"That's a fork, sweetie!" Sally tells him, "You use it to spear your food......here......watch!"
She spears a big hunk of turkey and shoves it into her mouth.
"If you say so," he says dispiritedly, and takes a bite of his chicken. He chews and chews and chews. Finally swallowing, he asks, "This is haute cuisine?"
"Yeah!" WandaSue says with her mouth full of food, "And quick! Quick and delicious!" as she tosses her empty platic container in the garbage, "I could use another; how 'bout you, Sal?"
"This one should be enough for me," Sally smiles.
Henry examines the table. A good piece of craftmanship, he decides as he runs his hands over it, and under the edge to see if the workmanship on the back is as good as on the top. He pauses when he feels something lumpy.
"Why does this table have lumps?" he asks, thinking it may be some new 21st century improvement.
"Awwww, that's just my chewing gum!" WandaSue tells him, "Here! See?"
She takes a table knife and scrapes the gum from the underside of the table and pops it into her mouth. Chewing rapidly, she grins, "Ya oughta take up chewing gum, Hank! It relieves stress!"
Even Sally is put off by WandaSue depositing gum under her table, but doesn't want to be confrontational, so she changes the subject. "What's next for Hanky, WandaSue?"
"We can take you back over there in the morning and you can snoop around some more. We can also disguise you and take you to the big house where William lives so you can see yer brat. What's yer pleasure, sweetmeat?"
"Can we do both tomorrow?" Henry is not looking forward to an entire day cooped up in closets over at Rosamond's house, but feels the need to find out more. He also has a burning desire to see little Will.
"Ya got a deal, then!" Sally and WandaSue say in unison, then give each other high-fives.
"A thousand years ago I lived as King, and now I'm brought down to this; a spy, a man who must go in disguise, a man who hides, but.........I will still win the day! I will not let that rounder, John Gwinett, take my family from me! I shall show him, I shall show them all!"


FREEZE FRAME.....by Terri

Sally asked Wanda Sue, "Where do you plan on stuffing His Highness for the night?"
Wanda Sue looked around. "You got room here, Sally. There's that extra room."
Sally frowned. "Here? A MAN in my house? I don't think so, Wanda Sue!"
Wanda Sue said, "Who is the brains in this twosome, you 18th century throwback? Who was stupid enough to get cholera and die?"
Sally shut her mouth. "Just make sure he uses the bathroom down the hall! I don't want to find beard stuff in the sink!"


"Honey? I'm here!" John called upstairs.
"I'll be right down, darling." Rose looked at the closet. What is that scent? Like leather and horse sweat. Smells familiar. Very masculine. She looked in the closet for maybe an old pair of riding boots. No-nothing there. Maybe it's coming through the vents. I need to clean the closets out and paint them tomorrow anyway. Rose bounced down the steps.
John gave her a kiss hello. Rose smiled contentedly. "Oooooh, this feels so nice, John! Like we are a real family. A house. Kids. Dogs. Maybe a cat?"
"A cat, Rose? I don't know...let's just get in here first."
"John, why didn't you pick up that winebottle when you broke it? One of the children could get hurt."
John looked up from getting the salads out. "What are you talking about?"
She laughed. "Guess you were too amorous to notice. Must have fallen over and cracked. There was glass all over the floor."
"Honey, I may have been caught up in the moment but I would have noticed a broken wine bottle."
"But how....?"
"Maybe that pet mouse you are going to exterminate. He may have smelled it and knocked it over."
Rose bit thoughtfully into her salad. "Yes. You're right. That must be it."


Wanda Sue and Sally were sitting at the table eating Coco-puffs that they had poured chocolate milk over. Henry came down bleary-eyed. Wanda Sue said, "Hankie, you look like the bottom of a hamster cage. Bad night?"
Henry sat down with a thud. "Guess so. This 21st century is so different. But I do like what you call a shower. And the uh, facilities...better than what we had in Windsor! What is the gameplan today, Mistresses?"
"Operation spy-cam again. You need to catch Rosetramp with Murph. That big guy! Here's a digital. See if you can catch them inflagrante delicto!"
"WHAT?"
"That's Italian for..." "It's Latin and I know what it means. Becket and I used to go wenching in our younger days." Henry picked up the digital camera. "What manner of contraption is this?"
Wanda Sue demonstrated it."It captures a 'picture' like you were sent of your little pipsqueak."
"Pipsqueak?"
"Rug rat. Carpet crawler. Tricycle motor." Wanda Sue said exasperated.
Henry looked uncomprehendingly at her. "Your progeny," Sally said.
"OH! NOW I understand!"
You get the pictures of Rosetart and Murph the stud-finder...."
Sally interrupted. "Or maybe that is a picture of Murph and ROSE the stud-finder..."
"Whatever. Get a few snaps and it's either the National Enquirer or blackmail money."
Wanda Sue and Sally high-fived each other and Henry just stared at them. How did I get myself hooked up with these two anyhow?


HENRY makes a BOO-BOO..........by Coralynn

"Let's give you a disguise today!" Sally claps her hands, "You could even hide out in Roseslu....I mean, Rosamond's house in the outfit. Why not? What do we have around here, WandaSue?"
"Well, the clothes you wore yesterday are good.....but we need to hide your face. I have a paste-on beard and mustache, and horn rimmed glasses. That should make you hard to recognize, and hey! Here's an old hat my dim-witted brother left here.......let's fix you up!"

Within 15 minutes Henry, looking in the mirror, doesn't recognize himself, and declares, "I can poke around that big house where you said Little Will lives, in this. Even if Rose sees me she'll have no idea who I am!"
"I like yer attitude, Hanks!" WandaSue claps him on the back, "Let's roll!"
They get in WandaSue's car and cruise over near the big house on Winding Willow, then pause a few houses down the street.
"Could that be him?" he points to where a little boy is standing, accompanied by a woman he doesn't know.
"Yeah, I think so! Wonder why that dame is with him. Could it be that his mother is off having an affair with Murph? What'd'ya wanna do about it, Hanks?"
He gets out of the car and slowly approaches the child, who backs away the closer he gets to him.
"Well, hello, youngster! What's your name?"
Before he knows what's hit him, he's doubled over, clutching his groin, and this blond vision of femimity is standing over him, kicking him violently.
Henry finally gets up and hobbles to where WandaSue's car is parked. Or was parked! She's gone! the car is gone!
As he limps down the sidewalk, he hears Little Will screaming, "Mummy! Mummy! Auntie Marilyn just beat up a bad guy!"

Celeste goes to the window and looks out. Oh-oh, this smells like trouble!


____________..........by Terri

Marilyn grabbed Will's hand and they went back into the Big House.
Rosamond looked up from feeding Julie her strained peas. "What's this about Marilyn and a bad guy?"
Will jumped excitedly up and down. "She smacked him! Right in the butt! He sure was walking funny!"
Rosamond raised her eyebrows to Marilyn. Marilyn shrugged and said, "Just a handyman talking to Will. I swear, the world is full of perverts!"
"Will, you are not to ride your bicycle without Daddy or me there."
"Aw, Mummy..."
"Don't 'aw mummy' me. If I catch you doing that, I'll take the bike away from you."
Will sat there and pouted.
"And don't give me 'attitude' young man!"
Will sighed and went to the window. "Daddy just pulled up. Can I go outside to see him?"
"Yes, you may."

John pulled Rose's SUV up in the drive. Thank goodness Rose had it in her name when Montgomery bought it for her. The way this shoulder is killing me, I can't drive a stick, he thought.
"Hi, Daddy!"
John rumpled his hair. "Hey, Will! What are you up to?"
"Mummy has a 'notion' again."
John laughed. "What 'notion' now?"
"She won't let me ride my bike down the street.I wanted to show you how I can put my feet up on the handlebars now."
John rubbed his shoulder. "OK, show me now!"
Will pedaled down the street four doors down to the new house. "Ready, Daddy?"
Henry whirled around. WILL! He remembers me!
But a voice from down the street called out, "Ready when you are, son!" Henry stood there uncomprehending. Suddenly it dawned on him. Will isn't calling me....he's calling Gwinnett. And he's calling him 'daddy'!

Henry slipped behind a tree to watch, unobserved. Will went whooshing by on his bike. John stood there on the sidewalk, Will riding up to him. Will stood there beaming at him. "See, Daddy? I told you I could do it! Mummy is so paranoid!"
John laughed. "Where do you come up with these big words, Will?" Will jumped off his bike. "TV."
John put his arm around him and walked towards the house with him. "Ah, TV! I should have known."

Henry watched them go inside a different house from the one that Rosamond was in earlier. She has two houses? One to live in with Gwinnett and one to tryst in? He puzzled. It's like the roles are reversed. Rose has MEN who are like mistresses! She has one in every house! Just then WandaSue came roaring up in the LIncoln. She opened the back door.
"Sorry we had to leave you, Hank, but that Marilyn would recognize me and Sally in a heartbeat! We waited down the block until the coast was clear. Did you see your kid?"
Henry let out his breath. "Not only saw him, I tried to speak to him. He backed off and that blonde Amazon came up and gave me a blow I shall not soon forget!"
Sally raised her eyes questioning to Wanda Sue. Wanda Sue puffed out her cheeks, crossed her eyes and pointed to her crotch. Sally nodded her head in understanding.
"Got racked, huh, Henry?" Sally said. Henry looked at her with no comprehension.
"Family jewels?" He still was bewildered.
WandaSue said, "Oh, for Pete's sake, Henry! She kneed your 'manhood' as you archaics calll it right into your tonsils!"
Henry turned red then purple and muttered, "Aye, I guess you could say that!"


THE PICTURE..............by Coralynn

"So, Hanky, wanna come back to our house and heal up?" Sally laughs.
"I am angry! NO! I will not retreat! I am going to fulfill my mission and do it right now!"
WandaSue shakes her head, "Well, Hanks, ya ain't off to a great start! Think this might not be your day? Think the Moon is in the wrong sign for ya?"
"I will succeed! Just you wait! And I will come back with some pictures that show little Miss Rosamond as the trollop she is!"
"Well, don't say we didn't warn ya!" Sally lets him out of the car near Rose and John's new house. Henry runs into the back yard and croches behind a bush.
That was embarrasing! he thinks. Little Will has a new Daddy and if I even try to get near him, one of those women decks me! I may not be able to take him back to Court with me if I can't even say hello to him! Rosamond has thought of everything!

He feels the digital camera in the roomy pocket of the jeans he's wearing, and hopes he remembers how to use it.
He can see a truck parked in the driveway. Ahhh yes, that Murph person must be there. Is Rose there, too? If so, what are they doing? WandaSue said if I could get a picture of her trysting with him, I could embarrass her! Would it help me get my son back? I don't know. I'm going to do whatever I can to show her in a bad light, though. It's the least I can do for how badly she's treated me. And, while I'm at it, there must be a way to get back at Eleanor as well. She's the brains behind this whole thing, don't think she isn't!

He hears people on the front porch, and, moving stealthily along the side of the house, sees Rose and Murph laughing about something. Go ahead and laugh.......you won't be laughing long!
He trains the camera on them and sees them move close together. A-ha! He begins snapping pictures, one after the other. When he sees Rosamond give Murph a quick hug, that goes on film. He feels triumphant. No one will be able to tell whether it's a quick hug or a long one, one in which there is groping and panting and who knows what else! WandaSue will be overjoyed!
Knowing he's succeeded, he starts retreating to the back yard again, but the grass is still wet from the morning dew and he slips down, making a "ummmpphhh" sound that brings Rose to the side of the porch. Peering around the house from there, she soon gives up trying to find the source of the sound and goes back inside the house.
Henry sees that the porch is now deserted and walks quickly into the back yards of the adjacent houses till he reaches the one behind the Big House.
He doesn't see Eleanor on the back deck, but he hears a familiar voice yell, "Sic 'em!" and two dogs run after him. These dogs are not trying to play, either, so Henry runs wildly through the back yards to the street behind Winding Willow.
"Now what?!" he asks in panic. The thought occurs to him that perhaps he can walk to Sally's house from there......it isn't far. He starts out in one direction, looking for landmarks he noticed when they brought him over in their car. Nothing looks familiar. He turns around and walks in the other direction. He sees a sign that says "Sycamore Street." A-ha, isn't that the street upon which Sally's house sits?
He walks the length of Sycamore, hoping he'll recognize her house. This one looks like it, he thinks, as he walks up onto the porch and pounds on the door.
A blouzy woman with a dish towel in her hands comes to the door, and, flinging it open, growls, "We don't want any!" and slams it shut.
That is obviously the wrong house, he thinks, as he tries another.
This time the banging on the door brings forth a very mean-looking man, who yells out "Go away! We don't wanna join your freakin' church!"
"OK," Henry says to himself, "Wrong house. One more white one to go, then I have to start in on the brick ones. Why didn't I pay closer attention?"
The third house looks even more like Sally's, and, as he pounds on the door, she comes to it and flings it open, telling him to get inside quickly.
"Why quickly?"
"Well, look at you! Your mustache is hanging sideways off your face! You look like five miles of unpaved road!"
He goes to the mirror and sees that indeed he does look strange. No wonder the woman with Little Will beat him up. He vows to go to the big house looking more presentable next time. If there is a next time.
"I got a great picture!" he announces to WandaSue, who is lounging on the couch eating potato chips.
"Oh yeahhh? Let's take a look!" she hurries him back to where her computer is sitting on top of a stack of old phone books. She drops the phone books to the floor, repositions the computer, does things that look like magic to Henry, and in a matter of minutes, the picture of Rose hugging Murph is there is all it's damning glory.
"Good job!" she yells, "This is wonderful! Those idiots are making out on her front porch? What a stupid baggage she is!"
"Well, actually, WandaSue, it was a very quick hug!" Henry fills her in.
"In this picture it looks like groping, panting and running into the bedroom to me! And it will look like that to the tabloids, too! Hot diggity dog!"


____________......by Terri

Wanda Sue displayedthe incriminating picture of Rosamond and Murph on the computer screen. Sally looked at it carefully. "Wanda Sue, if you take the mouse and click it here....then click it here...."
Wanda Sue's hands were moving like Houdini and the mouse cruised all over the screen. Figures were changed...moved closer...slight facial changes...and voila!
Wanda Sue and Sally looked closely at the picure and turned to each other.
"PRINT IT!" they shouted in unison and laughed uproariously.
What they had done was move Rose and Murph closer together, moved Murph's hands, puckered Rose's lips and closed Rosamond's eyes...the finished product looked like Murph was fumbling to unbutton the shirt Rose was wearing and her lips were pursed to receive a steamy kiss from Murph.

Henry came behind them. "But that is not the picture I took!"
Sally turned to him. "No, it certainly isn't! It's what is called 'new and improved'! Behold the magic of MacIntosh!"
Wanda Sue inserted her picture-quality paper into the printer and hit 'print'. The printer spat out the picture with a 'ptoooie'. Sally got a manila envelope and inserted the picture into it. Wanda Sue continued to print out copies. She handed one to Henry. "A small memento of your time spent int the 21st century, oh stud king!"
Henry looked at it closely. "It certainly DOES look real. And you did all that with that machine there?"
"You bet your sweet bippy we did! Now let's say we drop this off at the new house's mailbox. That way Rosetramp will be sure to be the one who gets it. I KNOW! We will leave a note! Address it to Mr. John Gwinnett from the Ace Detective Agency. That way she will think that her loving husband has hired someone to spy on her. And love and trust go right out the door! NOW! I'm hungry! Anyone for lunch?"


CELESTE TRIES AGAIN......by Coralynn

Celeste frowns as she gazes at the crystal ball, then anger takes over.
"I'm trying to locate the new time traveler, and what do I find? Those unholy two: WandaSue, aka Susan Hemingway, and that trouble-making Sally Jennings! Who is that with them, could that be the new person? I can't see his face; he has his head tipped down. What are they doing? Looking at something lying on that table! Yes! Oh no! Now I see his face and it looks disturbingly like Henry the Second, though he and I have never met. No! Couldn't be!! But from those old paintings, this face matches that one pretty well. I'm not sure, though. I don't want to get anyone alarmed when I don't have a positive identification. Now they're leaving the house. Well, I'll keep trying. If this is Henry2, Rose and Eleanor are in for trouble!"


_____________....by Terri

"Rose, darling? Where are you?"
"I'm upstairs, John! Trying to clean out the closet. I'm mildewing the walls."
John took the stairs two at a time. He laughed. "I think you mean 'un.'"
"What?"
"Un. You are unmildewing the walls." Rose stuck her tongue out at him. "That's right---make fun of my English!"
He yanked her to her feet. "Where's Murph?"
"He went out for more lumber. He and Elliott are shoring up the wall in the livingroom and jacking it up so they can remove it and put pillars in there."
"Pillars, Rose? This is NOT a Grecian temple. This is 300 year old house."
"I thought you said it was 200 years old."
"Didn't want to scare you."
Rose sighed. "that certainly explains a lot. Here."
Rose handed John some pieces of metal."What is this?"
"Ammo. Murph dug it out of the house. They were imbedded in the woodwork."
John turned it over in his hands. "Holy smokes, Rose! This is from the Revolutionary War!"
Rose leaned back against the wall and smiled enigmatically at him. "Really? By the way, who was Major Andre and Benedict Arnold?"
John raised his eyebrow. "Since when do you care about history, Rosamond?"
She drew out parchment papers that were old and wrinkled. "Since I found this in the wall when the plaster came down!"
She led John downstairs to the kitchen countertop. "I think it may be important."
John took out a flashlight and scanned it. "I can't believe it!"
Rose said, "You'd better believe it, honey!"
John looked more closely at it. "It's plans of West Point! Benedict Arnold was selling the patriots out to the British! The ultimate act of treason for which he is known!"
Rose shrugged. John said,"Honey, you really ought to watch the History Channel more often instead of those decorating shows!"
Rose said testily, "Those decorating shows are what is going to land this house in Architectural Digest! Or at the very least, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous! Namely us--two daytime drama actors who ignite the passions--both on AND offscreen!"

She pulled out another piece of paper. It too was old parchment. "This one reads, 'Hey, Johnny! Here's the West Point plans--detailing your escape route. Remember, not a word or my name will go down in history as a traitor! Take care, keep low and keep mum! Benny--P.S. Loved the quiche Mary made!"
Rose looked trumphantly at John. "Mayhap this will pay for some of the restoration I am doing? Wonder what it will go for on E-bay?" "E-bay, nothing, love! Southeby's or Christie's at the very least! Come on, my little history buff--let me take you to lunch!"

"What do you feel like, sweetheart? Italian? Mexican? Greek?" John asked Rose.
"Hmmm...Italian sounds nice. How about that Italian restaurant you took me to when I was pregnant and eating all those green olives?" "Italian it is!"
John pulled the SUV into the lot and they went inside. They ordered two antipasto salads and a large pizza with everything. John ordered a pitcher of beer.
Rose leaned back and sighed. "It's so nice to get away from the house! Sometimes I think it's an entity all its own and it is engulfing and devouring me."


Sally and Wanda Sue grabbed Henry by the arm. "Come on, Hal--we are going to introduce you to a great dish called...pizza!"
"Pizza?"
"Yep--ambrosia of the gods. When they got tired of Big Macs on Olympus, they sent out for this!"
Wanda Sue pulled the Lincoln into Mario's restaurant on Hwy 141. Sally looked out her window. "Oh-oh! Is it possible? Could that be the black SUV that belongs to Rosetramp?"
Wanda Sue peered a little closer. "I do believe it is! Let me cruise a little closer. There! See that ding in the side? That's where Billy Bob kicked it in when he found out he was too late for the wedding! He found her vehicle parked at the Grand Union and he put his foot in the door! Guess she never got around to getting it fixed yet, with her honeymoon and her little excursion to San Francisco!"
Henry perked up. "Rose? Rose is here?"
Sally leaned over the seat. "Looks like it...and you are going to have a first-class look at the tramp she has become! Can your old heart take it, Hal?"

"Of course I can take it! I am KING, after all! What I want, I take!"
Wanda Sue conked him on the head. "Not in THIS lifetime!"
She leaned into the back seat. "Here. A ball cap. Wear it low."
She smashed it onto his head. Sally yanked out a pair of glasses. "Where did these come from?" she asked Wanda Sue.
Wanda shrugged. "Guess it was in that all-you-can-stuff-in-a-bag-for-a-dollar sale at the Salvation Army!"
She put them on Henry. He started to grope around. "I can't see a damn thing with these on!"
Wanda Sue and Sally looked at each other and burst out laughing. Henry looked at them. His eyes looked like huge brown marbles behind a fishbowl. He groped for the door of the car and got his fingers in the ashtray. Wanda Sue got out and opened the door. Henry stumbled out and ran into a bush.
Wanda Sue and Sally led him to the door of the restaurant.
"Aren't you coming in, too?"
Wanda Sue said, "NO WAY! Last time I was upclose and personal to your ladylove, I dumped her in another timeframe. Before that, we came to blows and landed in the brig."

Henry looked at her with his fish-eyes. He exclaimed, "NO, I don't believe it! My Rose? My delicate flower?" Wanda Sue moved over. "Here! Over here! You are talking to a statue, Hank!"
Hank spun around and put his hands out. He honked a very bosomy woman on the chest. She took her purse and slammed it over his head. "Well! I never..!" she yelled.
'Aw, come on, Wanda Sue--let me take these off!"
Sally said, "Rosetramp will notice you in a minute without them! Just grab a booth and we'll join you in a bit. Order two large supreme pizzas and three pitchers of beer. Request a booth near them and see what you can find out."

Henry walked into the restaurant. "I'd like a table for three, please," he asked a coat rack. The hostess came up to him.
"May I get you a table?"
Henry flipped the glasses up long enough to see what was going on. He pushed them down again and said, "May I please have that table against the wall in the corner? I'm expecting some people."
"Certainly, sir. Sir? Sir? Over here...no...over here!"
Henry walked with his hands out in front of him. He banged into people. He accidently grabbed a gentlerman's toupee and yelled. As he neared the table that Rosamond and John were sitting at, he stumbled. Rosamond had just swung her legs out to go to the ladies' room.
"OOOF!" Before he knew it, he had landed in Rosamond's lap!

"Oh, my goodness! Sir! Are you all right?" Rosamond grabbed his arms. Henry looked up at her with the fisheye lenses. He put on a phony French accent.
"Excusez moi, madame! I am SOO clumsy!" He inhaled deeply. Yes---that was the same scent that was on the blanket on the floor of that house. Henry fought the urge to reach up and touch Rosamond's cheek. She felt the same..only firmer. If anything, she had gotten more....vital? More lively?
John got to his feet and helped Henry stand up. "You OK, pal?" Henry talked in John's general direction. "Mais oui, monsieur! New glasses!"
John dusted Henry off. "Maybe they are the wrong prescription, sir." Henry talked to the hanging plant. "Non, they are just fine, monsieur!" The hostess grabbed his arm and led him to the table in back of Rose and John, handed him the menu and shook her head.

Rose walked back from the ladies' room. She moved with an easy grace, Henry observed. He had taken his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. His back was to them but he could see Rose's reflection in the window.
He could hear every word of their conversation. "When do you think this will all be over, Rosamond?"
"Murph thinks he will be done with me by mid-March."
Henry' s ears perked up. He's actually asking her when her affair will be over?
"I don't know, Rose. I don't like this. I'm getting tired of all this waiting."
"Well, I'm afraid there is not a thing you can do about it, darling."
"Yes, but it seems you spend more time with Murph than you do with me!"
"Why, John! Are you jealous?" Rose gave out a low, throaty laugh. Henry closed his eyes in reverie.
"Sir? Sir? Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked him.
"OH! Yes! Uh...two large pizzas and three pitchers of beer."
Rose gave a start. John looked up at her quizzically. "You OK, honey?"
Rose bit her lip. "Yes. I don't know why, but I just felt uneasy. Like a flashback."
She shrugged. "Nothing. No. Nothing at all, darling."
Henry realized that he spoke in his usual voice. So what? She won't expect me in the 21st century. He frowned. Darling? Honey? What is with all this talk? I used to call her 'wench' and sometimes worse....but only when I was mad at her.


THE SCOOP.............by Coralynn

Rose and John are surprised to see Marthy and Bess enter the restaurant, and, once they catch their eyes, signal for them to come sit with them.
"Eleanor said you might be here!" Bess said as she slid into the booth. "She also told us you were going to be up for best actors in a soap opera! When does that happen?"
"In another three days!" Rose tells her happily, then lowers her voice, "We're hoping to get the 'hottest couple' award, too.!
"Is it going to be on telvision?" Marthy asks.
"Oh yes, it most certainly will be!"
"Clear our calendars for that night!" Bess laughs to Marthy. "Even if that Slim guy asks me out again, I'll tell him not that night!"
Rose's eyebrows peak, "Ahhh, you've been dating Slim?"
"Yes. We went to the movies; saw that Pirate movie.....it was great! Then we had dinner at a fancy restaurant a couple nights later. Slim is so funny! He made fun of the fussy waiters and had me go into the ladies room to report back on how that looked. It was like plated with gold, I swear!"
"Tell the best part!" Marthy urges her.
"Ohhh yeah, well, ya see, at real expensive places like that, you get a big plate with just a little bitty food on it, drizzled all over with some colored sauce. Slim looked at his $60 a plate of food and asked the waiter, "This is a joke, tell me it's a joke! Where's my food?"
"What did the waiter say?" John wants to know.
"Welllll, he arched his eyebrows and looked down his long nose at Slim and huffed. It was a most elegant huff, not like you'd do if you were fooling around with your friends. The guy must have practiced in front of a mirror for hours to get it just right. He also walked off with his head held way up high, and, because he wasn't looking where he was walking, ran right into a post. It was a beautiful post, ya see, but it still made a big whomp when he walked into it. His serving tray was empty, but it sailed off and hit a lady square in the head. She shrieked and pretty soon her husband, it must have been her husband, because this lady was too ugly to be having an affair, came over and yelled "Why don't you look where you're going? We're going to sue!"
Rose puts her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud, and loses. The others laugh along with her.
"So," Bess continues, "Slim tells me to ask for seconds, because we were done with the little bitty food we had in about five minutes. And I eat slow! Five minutes, I swear, that's all it took!"
"Did you?!" Rose is fascinated.
"What happened was, another waiter came out and asked if everything was to our satisfaction, you know, like they do, and I asked, "Please, sir, can I have some more?" and ya know what he told me, he said 'We aren't a page of Oliver Twist, and no, you may not have more.'"
"Who's Oliver Twist?" Marthy asks, "Are we supposed to know?"
"Eleanor can Google it on her computer when you get home," John assured her, "There's almost nothing you can't find out that way."
The waitress approaches the booth, seeing two more people there, and Bess and Marthy order pizza.
When it comes, John kids Bess, "Now you're sure that's enough for you, Bess? We don't want you pulling an Oliver Twist on us again!"
She laughs and digs in.

Henry, in the booth behind them, hears every word. The references to Oliver Twist don't interest him in the slightest, but the awards show in three more days, intrigues him. Ahhhhhhh, now......I must tell my new friends about this!


The pizzas arrived hot and juicy. "Dig in, 12th Century monkey-boy!"
Henry grabbed a piece and bit into it. "OW! OW! OW!"
Wanda Sue laughed."Oh, yeah, forgot to tell ya, the cheese is hot!"
Henry grabbed a pitcher and upended it. Sally looked over at him. "Hey! Slow down! You'll get a brain-freeze!"
Wanda Sue shook her head. "That's for ice-cream. You mean a beer buzz!"
Henry gasped and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Aside from the affair she is having with Sir Murph, I found out she is going to an awards show. Is that like a jousting tournament?"
Sally and Wanda Sue looked at each other. Awards ceremony?
Wanda Sue wondered aloud."I saw an invitation for one addressed to Billy Bob. He snatched it out of my hand. Bet he's going! Just so he can be near his Rosetramp!
Sure would like to be a fly on the wall for THAT awards show! I saw it on TV last year. Rosetramp was preggers then and had this golden diaphanous dress on, like a Greek goddess. That dress would have looked a lot better on me!"
Henry looked at her and blurted out. "Greek godess? YOU? You'd look more like the Greek TEMPLE!!"
Wanda Sue took the bill of his ballcap, held it in one hand and jammed it down over Henry's nose. He struggled to get it back up.
Wanda Sue said to Sally, "As I was saying before the peanut gallery gave his 2 cents, it would be great to see that little scene!"
Sally munched on her pizza. "Yeah, but where ya gonna get them? It's probably been sold out for weeks!"
Wanda Sue belched and said, "Yeah, you're right!"
She shrugged, poured a beer from the pitcher and ruminated. Got to be a way....

______(pt 2) by Terri

John asked Rosamond, "Ready to leave, sweetheart?"
"Yes, I have a date with Murph at 2:00 PM."
John sighed. "Again with Murph!" He pulled her chair out for her and they walked out the door.

Within thirty seconds, Wanda Sue and Sally joined him.
"What did you find out?"
Henry shook his head unbelievingly. "She is carrying on a brazen affair with that Murph person and told Gwinnett there wasn't a darn thing he could do about it and he would have to wait his turn! She even schedules her trysts!"
Wanda Sue and Sally looked at each other and smiled. Yeah, let Henry think what he wants.
Operation Submarine Rosetramp has commenced!

___________....by Terri

Rosamond walked into the Big House and took Julie out of her playpen. "How's Mama's precious baby?" and planted baby-kisses on her neck. Julie squealed in delight. John was in the living room listening to Will read Green Eggs and Ham. "Ahh..there you both are!" John put his finger to his lips. "Almost done", he whispered. Will finished the book and closed it triumphantly. Rose smiled proudly. "I knew you could do it!" William came in from gardening. Eleanor said, "This late in the year, William?" "Just putting the roses to bed for the winter. The wind is picking up and there has been frost on the pumpkins in the morning." Will said,"You have no pumpkins, Poppy William!" "Just an expression, my boy! And may I conclude that the Gwinnett family will grace us with their presence for dinner?" John said, "Looks that way--unless Rosamond decides to run off with Murph!" Rosamond laughed. "OH! I forgot to get the mail at the house. I'm expecting the survey from the surveyor. He said he'd overnight them. I'll be right back!" Rose slipped into her coat. As she went out the door, Celeste heard her say to herself, "Sure wish I had that leather one..." Rosamond jogged down to the mailbox. Four houses but when it is cold like this, it may as well be four miles! She reached in to get the mail and slipped up the stairs of her new house. She flicked the kitchen light on and thumbed through them quickly. Pre-approved, pre-approved, pizza coupon, pre-approved.....don't they ever give up?
Electric bill...Bloomingdale's bill--she slipped that one into her jacket pocket. Don't need John to see that one! Here it is! Habersham and Griffin, surveyors. She dropped a manila envelope. What's this? Ace Detective Agency? For John?

She looked at it. She held it up to the light. Damn security paper! She jiggled it. Maybe he is running a security check on a new employee. No, that's not it. He'd just check references. She walked over to the stove and put on a pan of water. No, this is wrong, Rose! You can't do that! It's not addressed to you, she thought. But who would John have investigated? I could just quickly glance at it and then seal it back up with Elmer's glue...it's got to be nothing, right? Right!
She quickly held it over the steaming water and the flap came loose. She drew her fingernail under it and flipped the flap back. She looked inside and took out what appeared to be papers. No, I can't snoop! But what if it's really important?
She looked down at them and her blood ran cold.

Inside was a picture of her. And Murph. Addressed to John. She stood there unable to move. Numb. Her hand trembled. John hired a detective agency to spy on me, her mind raced. It can't be. This is something Billy Bob would do. Not the man who vowed to love me forever. She looked closely at the picture. It looks like....a compromising position. Murph never did that.
Rose looked inside for a cover letter. As she did, a voice from behind her said, "Rosamond? What is taking you so long?" She turned and put the picture and envelope behind her back.
"J-John! I was just leaving."
"Find what you were looking for?"
"Y-yes."
"Anything for me?"
Rose shook her head wordlessly. When she found her voice, it sounded wooden.
"Were you expecting anything?"
John shrugged. "You never know! Occasionall I DO get some, sweetheart. Let's go--William is holding up dinner for us."
John put his arm possessively around Rose and led her out of the house. "You're shivering, honey."
Rose's mind was in a whirl. "Just the weather, John. Just a frost in the air."
Oh, John! How could you?


TURN OF EVENTS............by Coralynn

Celeste walks over to Rose and whispers, "Come back to my room for a minute, can you, dear?"
"But William....."
"Oh just forget his royal highness for a minute. This is important."
Rose follows Celeste into her room, and, after closing the door, Celeste asks her, "Have you seen a disturbing picture recently?"
"Welllll......uhhhh....no," Rose hems and haws.
"Why do you lie to me, Rose? I know all about it. The picture you saw was sent to you by WandaSue and Sally Jennings. Who did you think sent it?"
"The Ace Detective Agency, and it was addressed to John! He doesn't trust me! He has detectives following me!" she blurts out.
"Nonsense! He trusts you totally. WandaSue is out to sink your ship. You know how much she resents you. Believe me, it was sent by her, not some detective agency."
"How do you know that, Celeste?" Rose is beginning to feel relieved, but not quite all the way.
"How do I know a lot of things, dear? I have acutely sensitive pyschic abilities, plus," and she pulls the cover off the crystal ball with a flourish, "I have my own little spy set-up! I saw WandaSue and Sally Jennings and some man, who I couldn't identify, looking over a picture with great satisfaction. I knew it would mean trouble for you, because you're their main target."
"Why do they hate me so much?"
"Come on, Rose, you know the history of those two. They have a hundred strange little reasons for resenting you. You have a happy marriage and two darling children. Do they? No. They scuttle every decent opportunity that comes their ways. They have made themselves into cariatures of mean-spiritedness and chacanery."
"Yeah, true, true. Some enemies are hard to shake, aren't they?"
"Well, at least I was able to cut this mean trick off before it got out of hand. If you'd have accused John of hiring a detective, that wouldn't help your marriage. People hate to be accused of something they didn't do or even know about. Now, put on your pretty smile, and let's join the others for dinner."
"What would I do without you, Celeste? You're always coming to my rescue!" Rose hugs Celeste as they leave the room and rejoin the others.

Meanwhile:

WandaSue has gone back to her own apartment in Pleasantville, and is watching her favorite soaps and talk shows. She munches on some pretzels left over from a couple weeks ago. Some are pretty soggy and she flips the worst ones onto the floor.
Station break. Time to get fresh snacks.
Just a minute, just a minute: what are they saying? She listens carefully.........

"You still have 30 more minutes to enter our "Go to the Daytime Emmy Awards Show".....contest. Call the number you see on the screen and do it now. The winner of the four tickets to the awards show will be announced from a random drawing in just 30 minutes, so time is of the essence."

"EURKEA!" she yells and dives for the phone. She copies down the number and punches it into her cellphone. Nothing. Damn thing needs a charge! She goes to her regular phone and tries that one. It rings and rings and rings. Oh rats! Hundreds of people must be trying to get through! She hangs up and speed dials it again.....it rings and rings........but this time she hangs on. By hanging up I may lose my place in line, she thinks, as it continues to ring.
She looks at the clock........only 20 minutes to go!
It rings and rings.
She taps her foot in impatience. This has gotta work! We gotta go to that awards show .......it rings and rings.
At last! With only 10 minutes left, she gives her name and phone number to the operator they've hired to take these down.
"Wanda Sue Skaggs......yes, S-k-a-g-g-s.......WandaSue.......W-a-n-d-a-s-u-e......right."
She gives the operator her phone number and makes her repeat it back. Can't have some ninny operator copy it down wrong and lose out on everything.

WandaSue grabs a Bud from the fridge and a box of Twinkies. She stuffs an entire Twinkie into her mouth and washes it down with the beer. After almost choking, she swallows and emits a loud burp, then sits on the couch to wait it out for the next 8 minutes.
She looks at her watch; at the clock; at the TV, which is winding up the program they've been showing. Ahhhhh, just a few minutes! I can't stand it!
One ad is shown, two ads are shown, then someone comes on the screen with a large drum full of pieces of paper.
"We will now pull out the name of the winner of the four tickets to the Daytime Emmy Awards show!" the announcer says with importance. He gets near the drum, then pauses, "Go on, do it!" WandaSue yells.
He puts his hand on the little grate that serves as a door into the drum......and pauses.
"For God's sake, open it!" WandaSue yells.
He reaches in and swishes his hand through the papers.....and pauses.
"Do it now, you idiot!" WandaSue is a nervous wreck.
He fondles several pieces of paper, but does not draw one out yet.
"DO it, you cretin!" she thunders.
With a smug smile, he finally draws out a paper, then.....puts on his glasses very slowly, adjusting them just so.
WandaSue is pacing and about to scream.
"OH," the announcer says, "This one is blank.........I'll draw out another."
By now WandaSue is panting and her face is getting redder by the moment.
With another smug smile, the announcer says, "And the winner is..............." and pauses.
"AAAAaaaccckkkk!"
"WandaSue Skagg!" he says softly.
"Louder!" she yells, hoping he really did say her name and it's not just her imagination.
"Yes, the winner of the four tickets to the Awards Show is.......Wanda.......Sue.......Skaggs."
WandaSue jumps up and down and runs around the room, holding up her arm like she has just come in first in a 26 miles marathon.
"Miss Skaggs, if you're listening, you have 10 minutes to confirm this. If we don't hear from you...."
WandaSue punches in the phone number again and when the operator asks who it is, says excitedly, "WandaSue Skaggs, the winner! I won! I won!"

She is told to pick the tickets up at the TV station as soon as possible. She phones Sally and tells her to get out front right away; they're going to someplace exciting.
She quickly grabs up her purse, car keys, and runs out the door to her car to get Sally. Her heart is beating so hard that her breath comes in gasps, but she is smiling from ear to ear in triumph.


__________.....by Terri

Rose came out to the dining room with Celeste. William looked down his nose at the two of them. "I had to put the chicken paprikash on hold. Now what was so all-fired important that it couldn't wait until after dinner?"
Celeste kidded him good-naturedly. "Willliam, you are such an old fogey! It was girl talk! And that is all I am going to say!"
John looked over at Rosamond. "You allright? You look a little peaked. ROSE! You aren't...?"
Rose said, "With that house consuming all my time? No, John, I am NOT! Oh, don't look at me that way! Julie is only seven months old! We have plenty of time!" John said disappointedly, "Maybe YOU do...but I don't!"
Celeste said, "Look at Charlie Chaplin and Strom Thurmond!"
Rosamond changed the subject. "Eleanor, what are you wearing to the awards show?"
Eleanor looked up from cutting her chicken. "With my hair and colour TV, definitely I am wearing emerald green silk! How are you going to top that gold shimmery dress you wore last year?"
Rose said, "I bought the prettiest dress I could. After all, I am competing against Penelope Patterson, the cow! I bought a Vera Wang dress in peacock blue and royal blue. Gwen is coming by here tomorrow and she will do our hair and makeup and we will look fantastic! Gwen is up for best costume designer. I'm glad we are on the same network, El! At least the studio is paying for it! William? You are up for best cooking show, aren't you?"
William beamed. "Not only that, but I am a presenter."
John looked at Rose and nodded. She whispered, "You tell them!"
John said, "OK. Rose and I are presenters, too!" Eleanor laughed. "Well, does that take all? SO AM I!"
William said, "I guess they give us our assignments when we get there."
Rose said, "It was great of Marilyn to offer to stay home with the children."
Celeste said, "She didn't want to be mobbed with her 'Marilyn look-alike'. She said she intends to have Henry and Luke come over and watch it with her. Jack is coming with Marthy and Bess is coming with Slim."
"How is Rafe handling the fact that Slim and Bess are dating?" Eleanor said.
John said, "Pass me that rice, please, honey. Oh, he's non-too-happy but he likes Slim. Bess is a little too bubbly for Rafe. He's dark and brooding. He and Daniel make the rounds."
Rose was being extra sweet to John. What is with me? How could I have doubted him? She reached under the table and squeezed his knee and played footsie with him. He tried to concentrate on what El was saying. Something about Jerry's real estate business.
Rose said, "Isn't it funny? It was an awards show that brought Jerry into your life, El!"
John said, "Rose and I saw the funniest thing today. Some guy came into Mario's. Looked like he was on something! Glasses as thick as cokebottles. He landed right on Rose's lap!"

Rose chewed her bread thoughtfully. "It was weird. When he landed on me, it was like an electric jolt. Like something connecting to my energy field. Celeste? Is that possible?"
Celeste gave it some thought before she answered carefully. "Possible. Some cosmic thing. Your karma connecting with another person's karma. Sometimes they don't mesh well. Kind of a ying/yang thing. Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Rose. Just a freak thing."
Celeste thought. This is getting really weird. Crystal ball and I have a date tonight. Maybe the clouds will part. I may have to just scrap this one and upgrade.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. Will showed John his new computer game and Rose gave Julie a bath and sang her lullabyes. As she put her in the crib, John came up behind her and kissed her neck. "John! You startled me! And if the baby wakes up, YOU are staying up with her. I have had a stressful day!"
John laughed and rubbed her neck and shoulders. "Mmmm....that feels good!" She closed her eyes.
John kissed her and said, "And that is just a preview...!" as he turned the lights off.

____________, by Terri

Rosamond bounded down the stairs for breakfast. Celeste was scrambling eggs and William was trying to tell her what she was doing wrong. "One more word, William, and you will be wearing these eggs!" William grumbled.
"OK, OK! I'll do the bacon!"
Rosamond walked over cautiously. William looked at her. She got defensive. "I'm just trying to see where I am going wrong!"she sniffed. Eleanor came down in her power suit. William looked her over. "You look very authoritative, Eleanor!"
Eleanor poured some coffee and grabbed a bagel. As she spread her cream cheese, she said, "I am asking for a raise. I am nominated and I think if I am good enough for that, I deserve more money!"
Rose gave her the thumbs up. "You go, girl!"
John came downstairs buttoning his cuffs. He bent down and gave Rose a kiss on the cheek. His cellphone rang and he answered. "Hello?"
"John, it's me. Can you and Rosamond come down to the studio? I have something to discuss with the two of you."
"I'll have to check with Ro', Marty." He put the phone over his chest and asked, "Honey? Are you available this morning? Marty has something to discuss."
Rose said, "I guess so. Murph knows what to do. Celeste? I hate to impose on you. I may just have to hire a nanny."
"Don't be silly, dear! I love Julie like she was my own!"
John resumed his conversation with Marty. "It's a go, Marty! We'll be down there in...what?An hour?"
Rose nodded affirmative.
After breakfast, they took the Corvette into the City. Rose was driving because John's shoulder was still bandaged.

Marty was sitting in his office when they arrived. He gave Rose a kiss hello. She sat down and crossed her legs. "This had better be good, Marty! I had planned on spending the day with my children!"
Marty leaned back. He lit a cigar. "It's good. Believe me, it's good!"

Marty blew smoke rings. Rosamond fanned the smoke away and wrinkled her nose.
"Marty, if you don't put that out, I'll leave!"
Marty grinned. "OK--but when I lay this deal out, John will probably light up,too!"
John raised his eyebrows. "OK, what is so all-fired important, Marty?"
Marty leaned forward, put both hands on the desk and said, "I just bought the rights to Sharon Kay Penman's Time and Chance!"

Rose looked wordlessly at John. He shrugged. Marty looked from one to the other.
"Don't tell me you have never read her! When Christ and His Saints Slept? The Sunne in Splendor?"
Rose shook her head no. "Marty, I have just been pregnant, married, widowed and married all in the course of a year. I am trying to remodel a house, handle a precocious five year old and a seven month old baby while teaching aerobics classes three times a week and star on a daytime drama. Not to mention any little side trips I may end up taking. When would I find time to read?"
Marty looked at John. "Don't look at me, Marty! If it's not Robert B. Parker or Ed McBain, I don't read it! Besides, that sounds like chick material to me!"
Marty smacked his hand down on the desk. "YES!! And that is what the 'chicks' want!"
Rose tried not to laugh. "Marty, we don't like to be called 'chicks'."
Marty waved that aside."Regardless, it's HOT!"
John said, "What is it about, Marty?"
Marty said, "It's rich in character and colour, true to historic details and sensitive to the complex emotions of men and women. It recreates a story of pain and passion. It is a magnificent tale of love, power and ambition--and betrayal."

Rose and John looked at each other. Rose mouthed wordlessly, 'what is he talking about'? And John just looked at her and shrugged. Marty continued. "This mini-series has it all! You never heard of the book?"
Rose and John shook their heads.
Marty announced, "Why, it is the love triangle between Henry the Second, Eleanor of Acquitaine, and his mistress--Rosamond De Clifford!"

Rose had just taken a sip of her cafe latte and started to choke. John had taken a sip of his espresso and spewed it all over Marty's desk. John pounded her gently on the back. "Wh-what did you say?"
Marty said, "It's a story of those three--how their lives intermingled and isn't it incredible? You must have been named after her and didn't even know it!"
Rose paled. "Yes. That is weird."
Marty grinned. "I know you have tonight's awards on your mind. But I couldn't wait! Rose? I want to offer you the part of--guess who?-Rosamond De Clifford. John? I am offering you the role of Henry the Second."
John was adamant. "NO! NO WAY!"
Marty said, "I take that for an 'I'll think about it.' Rose? How about it? The part was custom-made for you!"
Rose stammered. "I don't know, Marty. I have a pretty full plate now." Marty said,"We'll discuss this next week, OK? I know you have to get home and get dressed for the Awards. I'll see you there. Now scoot! And I'm telling you, Rose, I won't take NO for an answer! You were born to play this role!"
He led them to the door and as they went out, he closed it, poured himself a whiskey He leaned back in his chair, lit another cigar and smiled at the ceiling. Ah...Emmy time!"


Rose's hands were shaking as she tried five times to put the key in the Corvette door. John had to run to keep up with her. "Honey? Darling? Are you alright?"
She tried to hold back her tears. "I can't believe it! Marty wants to put MY LIFE on TV? For everyone to see? I'm sure this Sharon Kay Penman is very good. But John! This is ME! This is Eleanor! And Henry! Parts of my life I am not very proud of!"
John wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head in his chest and just sobbed. John made comforting sounds and stroked her hair until she was spent.

He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. "Hush now! Things get put on hold. Marty may never make it."
Rose wiped the tears from her face. "He will and you know it!"
John gave her a small smile. "Come on, put on a happy face for me. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it! Let's stop and get some lunch and then we'd better start back home. After all, we have an awards show to present!"
Rose gave a shaky laugh."You're right, John. To quote a famous literary character, 'Fiddle-dee-dee! Tomorrow is another day!"
John kissed her and said, "That's my girl! Come on, let's go back to our 21st century lives!"

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