REVELATIONS
THE CASE CRACKS--LIKE A DROPPED EGG!....by Terri
Magruder whipped off his sunglasses and let his eyes adjust to the darkness in the Dew Drop Inn. He spied Bobby Joe behind the bar and sat down on one of the stools.
"Yo! Mickey!"
"Hey, Bobby Joe. What's the story? You said it was imperative that I come down ASAP."
Bobby Joe turned to Hank and said, "Cover the bar for me for a bit, Hank. I need to talk to him."
"Sure thing. Want something to drink?"
Bobby Joe turned to Magruder. "What'll it be?"
"Bourbon and branch."
Hank mixed two drinks and Bobby Joe motioned to Magruder to follow him to one of the tables.
Bobby Joe started out by saying, "This is pretty bizarre but I have some information that could crack the Montgomery case wide open."
Magruder leaned forward. "Find something out?"
Bobby Joe lowered his voice. "A guy named Ernie has been in here for the past three nights. He's been looking for a guy named Randy Griswold. Mean anything to you?"
Magruder shook his head. Bobby Joe continued. "He seems really desperate to find this guy. He knew all about Billy Bob getting whacked. At least he assumes it's Billy Bob. But I'm beginning to wonder. Did this Randy Griswold steal the Mercedes and the hit man just fired and now they are wondering if Griswold ran off and they killed Billy Bob instead? I mean, Jameson I.D.'d the body and these goons have no way of knowing that Billy Bob was involved in something shady and thought that he was the target. Follow me so far?"
Magruder shook out a cigarette from a crumpled pack. He struck a match on his shoe, lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. "So what you are trying to tell me is that they got the right guy, they just don't know it."
"Tequila Sunrise cleaned out the gatehouse on the ranch and found evidence that someone had been staying there until quite recently. When I came in one day a few weeks ago, she had a backpack there. Told me it belonged to her kid. But I saw her little boy. That backpack was way too big for a kid his age. Plus kids go for that Scooby-Doo stuff. This was a Jansen backpack. Navy blue. I'm guessing that she found this guy's backpack--the backpack he never came back for because he's scattered all over Watson's Meadow."
Magruder rubbed his cheek. "Sounds plausible. So what we have is a dead body, a live Billy Bob in Florence, a guy looking for a Randy Griswold, and a backpack that may hold the clues. Do you expect this Ernie to come in?"
"Don't know. He gave me his cellphone number before he passed out. Here it is."
Magruder wrote it in his notebook and said, Maybe it would be better if you called this Ernie. He may be a little skittish having a total stranger call him. Arrange a meeting and I'll be there. Meanwhile, I'll be in touch."
Bobby Joe said, "One thing--not a word to Billy Bob. Not until we are 100% sure."
Magruder gave a mock salute and walked back into the sunlight.
Later that night, Ernie Shaw pulled into the Dew Drop Inn. One more time, he thought. One more time and then I am heading to Las Vegas. He went in and as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw Bobby Joe behind the bar. He sat down and ordered a scotch with a beer chaser. Poor Ernie looked like he lost his best friend.
Bobby Joe felt sorry for him and motioned him over to a table. "Think I have some news on your friend. Randy, is it?"
Ernie looked incredulous at Bobby Joe. "You seen him?"
Bobby Joe said, "Not exactly. I've got a friend that needs to talk to you. Let me call him. He can help you out. Don't worry--he's not a cop. He's a P.I. Very discreet."
Within the hour, Magruder, Bobby Joe and Ernie were sitting at a table in a dark corner of the Dew Drop Inn. Magruder said, "Ernie, I can't help you unless I know the whole story. And I think I CAN help you. You want to get out of town, I'm offering you the plane fare to go. All you need to do is come clean with me."
Ernie looked nervously at Bobby Joe. BJ said, "He's telling the truth. We'll get you out of town. But first the story."
Ernie took a deep breath and a long drink of his scotch. "Randy Griswold sold drugs but he shortchanged the guy that Jake works for. No one does that to Enrico. Enrico paid Jake to bump him off. We figure Randy was hiding out but he was in the area. Jake spotted him one night at the Crystal Bar over on the other side of town and followed him home one night. Guess he was hiding out in a little house on that big ranch outside of town. Jake was all set to rub him out but a pretty little blonde came by and was doing some work around there. We figure Randy must have been hiding in the woods. So Jake staked it out. The next day, we see a Mercedes pull out and go peeling down Rt. 141. Jake swears it was Randy and followed him in his Mustang.
He drove alongside but all he sees is this guy with blond hair driving. Jake, being the hothead he is, aims and fires. The car goes veering off into the ditch. Jake sees another car coming so he lit out of there. The police came and made the report that it was William Robert Montgomery, owner of the ranch. Now Jake knows instead of killing a two-bit punk, he offed a millionaire horsebreeder and upstanding citizen of the community. He not only offs the wrong guy but more importantly, he let the wrong guy get away. Enrico is NOT a happy camper. He demanded that Jake find Randy Griswold and finish the job he started. Jake strongarms me into looking for him. He figures two heads are better than one. I've looked high and low and haven't found a trace of Griswold. It's like he vanished into thin air."
Bobby Joe and Magruder look at each other. BJ said, "Not exactly. It's like that old jump-rope song, 'Down in the meadow where the green grass grows...' "
Magruder said, "Ernie, come see us tomorrow at 8:00 PM. I think we may have some news for you. Don't worry, we're not going to call the cops."
Ernie smiled a little. "I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel, guys. You find Griswold and let me know. I'll take care of the rest."
With that, he got up and walked out.
BJ said to Magruder, "What do you think?"
Magruder said, "I think this Jake guy was a real butt-head who shot first and asked questions later. He never positively I.D.'d the body as that of Griswold. His mistake. BUT he did shoot the right guy, he just doesn't know it. Conclusion is this---Randy Griswold was the hit, and he DID get killed. Police jump to the conclusion because Randy is shot in the face and fits the description of Billy Bob. He's driving Billy Bob's car. And there was an altercation the night before involving his wife and another man at that wedding. So naturally the police think Montgomery was the intended victim all along. Jameson and Billy Bob jumped to a conclusion. Result? Billy Bob Montgomery had nothing to fear. The only thing he had to do was fill out a stolen car report. Instead he lets his imagination run wild and splits out of town without checking all the facts. He could be kicking back in that nice spread with that honey of a wife. Instead, he's lost the wife, the child, his furniture, and that damn jacket."
LOOSE LIPS SINK........(fill in the blank).....by Coralynn
"I called this family meeting because we seem to have a serious security problem," William begins, looking around the large dining room table at the assembled 'family members,' some of whom are looking down with humiliation.
"Now, Marthy, I don't fault you for talking about being a serving wench, after all, I don't think you were sufficiently warned about the perils of discussing your former timeframe. But now that it's hit the newspapers, you can see the consequences of talking freely."
"I'm so sorry, William, I had no idea anyone else heard it, but you're right and I've learned my lesson. Will everyone forgive me?"
"Everyone who forgives Marthy, please raise your hand."
All the hands go up.
"Moving on: Mike, you are an excellent addition to the family, even if you and Hotspur now live in the blue house; you are still a member of our group. Again......you weren't warned about talking, but now you can see how dangerous it is."
"I did talk a great deal," Mike admits, "And it was thoughtless."
"Everyone who forgives Mike, raise your hand."
All hands go up.
"Hotspur, you're next. Will you please just get over it about you and Rose back in England years ago in the hay barn?"
"It's true, William, every word!"
"That's not the point. The point is keep your trap shut about it. Can you see the wisdom in that? I hope so, because I don't want to have to take you back to the 12th century!"
"Oh, all right," Hotspur concedes, frowning.
Bill has been invited to this meeting, and raises his hand. William acknowledges it.
"The one you need to roast slowly over a spit is Daniel, William. He not only let loose about his claim to paternity, but gave information they construed to mean that Rose was the mistress of Prince Charles. After I read that, once I stopped laughing, I realized how damaging it was."
"Daniel has been banned permanently from the house," William tells them, "He is to attend nothing more here. Ever. He is boycotted. If you look up 'loose cannon' in the dictionary or encyclopedia, you see a photo of Daniel. Or should. Anyone here object to his banishment?"
Rafe raises his hand. "He was drunk, though, William. A man shouldn't be held responsible for what he says when he's drunk!"
"Ahhhh yes, the issue of taking responsibility!" William warms to this subject, "He chose to drink too much, ergo his mouth went into high gear. He chose the action so he chose the consequences. Being drunk is the worst excuse to ever come down the pike. How many of you agree?"
Most of the hands go up. Rafe folds his in his lap. William glares at him.
Hotspur's hand goes half way up. William glares at him till he raises it the rest of the way.
"Eleanor was able to do some damage control with that Ann reporter, you know, the traitor who stabbed us in the back. Tomorrow's paper is supposed to include an explanation for all the 'different century' talk she heard and wrote up. Seems Eleanor convinced her that we were all practicing our lines for a Halloween party." he looks at Eleanor intently, "IF this is in tomorrow's paper, you are a little off the hook, Eleanor. She's the one who insisted on admitting the reporter and the cameraman, you know. Ohhhh, you didn't know? Yes, she insisted after I objected when I saw them arrive. El said she'd take responsibility. Now everyone: get this and get it good: NO media is to set foot on this property ever again. No newspaper reporters or TV cameras, or God knows what else......no media. Now let us all say that in concert, "No...media......come on, you can do it!.......no media........no....media....."
The others join in his chant hoping to avoid more of his lecturing.
"Does anyone have any comments or questions before we adjourn?"
Bill does.
"I had to tell Hillary about the time travel, as she saw and heard things that made her puzzled. I also told her not to accuse me of lying, but she did anyway. I'm having a serious credibility problem, folks. Can we take her time traveling in the not too distant future so that she doesn't look at me like I've gone totally round the bend?"
Marilyn gets a gleam in her eye, "Do you think she'd fancy Atlantis or do you think she'd prefer the French Revolution.....or......"
"Just take her somewhere so I can have some peace!" Bill laughs. Everyone laughs with him.
William looks around at his extended family fondly. They really are a great bunch. A little crazy at times, but who could ask for a better, or, the way things are going, bigger family circle? Then he wonders, is Eleanor serious about the Halloween party? Heaven forbid!!!
DEAR HENRY2, YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED.......by Terri
Rose came downstairs to breakfast with Julie on her hip. John had left a little while ago, dropping Will off at school on his way to work. Eleanor held out her arms. "Let me hold her, Rose."
Bethia came in the back door. "Hey, girls! Just thought I'd stop over."
Marilyn said, "Want some coffee, Beth?" Bethia shook her head no.
Marilyn said, "I've never known you to refuse a cup of coffee, Bethia!"
Bethia glanced at Celeste who smiled her all-knowing Mona Lisa smile. "Just trying to cut back on caffeine. I'll just take a piece of toast and some whole milk."
Eleanor bounced Julie on her knee who laughed with glee.
Rose sat there daydreaming and stirring her coffee. Eleanor finally said, "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT STIRRING? Any more stirring and you are going to have butter in that coffee, Rosamond!"
"OH!" Rose snapped back to reality. "I'm sorry. I was lost in thought. Just think! In a few more weeks I'll be Mrs. John Gwinnett! I can't wait!"
Celeste, Marilyn and Eleanor looked at each other, silently echoing her sentiments.
Eleanor said, "It's been a wild three years, Rose! Remember when Will came downstairs for a bite of your chocolate cake and he started crying when he saw my son John?" They all laughed. "He heard those rumours about John hanging little children. How did that rumour get started anyway, Eleanor?"
Eleanor laughed. "From John. He had a wickedly devious sense of humor!"
Rose said, "I have something to show you all. They just came yesterday." She returned with a big box. "Our wedding invitations!"
All the girls gathered around as Rosamond opened the box. "Oh, how elegant!"said Bethia. She picked one up. It was a beautful very faint watercolor of daffodils. "It's to remind us of our unofficial wedding at Granny de Tonei's chapel."
Rose read off the invitation--
Rosamond Elizabeth de Clifford
and
John Arthur Gwinnett
request the honor of your presence
at the celebration of their marriage
Saturday October 4, 2003
at 8:00 PM
at the Chapel by the River
2224 River Road
Hastings on Hudson, NY
RSVP
Separately there was a card that John had printed up to have inserted in every invitation. It read--
"I will love you in a box.
I will love you with a fox.
I will love you here or there,
I will love you anywhere."
They all started giggling and couldn't stop. Rosamond hiccuped and explained, "John would read that book to Will just about every night. It was from 'Green Eggs and Ham' with apologies to Dr. Seuss! He read that book to Will so much John had it memorized. One night he was half asleep and he cuddled up next to me and instead of the usual 'I love you' stuff, he started mumbling that and didn't even know it! He was getting his pillow talk confused with Dr. Seuss. It started becoming a joke between us. So he had that ordered to put in the invitations! As a joke."
Eleanor said, "You'd better hurry up and get the invitations out. I know most of the people know about it, the invitations just a formality. How many people do you expect, Rose?"
"About 250. NO MEDIA--NO SOAP MAGAZINES! If John F. Kennedy Jr. could pull it off, so can John and I!"
Eleanor said, wickedly, "It's a shame you can't invite Henry2 to the wedding. Think how livid he would be!"
Rose said dreamily, "Yes, isn't it?" They all looked at each other and got the same thought. They dissolved into laughter again.
Celeste said, "I'll get the blender!"
Eleanor said, "I'll get my coin!"
Rose filled out an envelope with the name "Henry2" on it and dropped it in the blender. Celeste hit 'frappe'. The air began to glow and swirl. After 30 seconds, Celeste turned it off. Inside was the coin. Gone was the envelope. Rose sighed contentedly. "Sure would like to be a fly on the wall when he gets that via Osterizer Express." And with that, the girls giggled again in a moment of affection and camaraderie.
HILLARY'S TRIP..........by Coralynn
William is working on his rosebushes when he hears the phone ring. Peeling off his gardening gloves, he rushes into the kitchen and grabs the phone on it's seventh ring. Whoever it is isn't about to give up, he realizes.
"Hello. William here."
"Hi, William, it's Bill. I have a huge request. Remember how I told you that Hillary is laughing at me, thinking I'm making up the time travel?"
"Oh yes, it must be difficult for someone who thinks rationally to believe any of this is possible, Bill. Had you not experienced it yourself you might laugh, too."
"I was at least open to it, though. I didn't laugh you out of the house the evening you came round to ask me to accompany you back to the 12th century."
"This is true, you do have an open mind, and, I might add, a healthy dose of curiosity."
"Hillary will not believe me unless we take her time traveling. I know it's an imposition on your time, but do you think....."
"Why I'd like nothing better!" William says brightly, "When do you want to take her......and where do you want to take her?"
"Today would be great; she's returning to D.C. tomorrow. My guess is that she'd be interested in seeing the Seneca Falls Convention of 1848. It began the Women's Movement, you know. Very important gathering.......so not only would it prove to her that time travel is possible, but she would be thrilled to be at that convention."
"Yes. That makes perfect sense. I was just out gardening, but if you come over right now, we can zip off to Seneca Falls and be back in a flash. How does that sound?"
"You're a pal! Thanks! We'll be right over! Don't be surprised if she laughs in your face when we arrive, though. I don't know when I've heard her laugh so much over anything. See you in a few!"
William has just washed up and put on clean pants when he hears the car in the drive. Looking out, he sees that it's Bill and Hillary, and, just like Bill said, she is laughing uproariously.
William goes outside and greets them.
"Hillary, we have a nice surprise for you!" he smiles broadly, "All you have to do is take our hands. Good. Now, hang on, lady, here we go!"
When they left it was September and cool. Now they find themselves in summer heat. Hillary looks around with wide eyes.
"How did you do that, William? Looks like a trick to me! But....."
"But look at the way the people are dressed, Hill! Does this look like 2003 to you?" Bill asks, with a little bit of 'I told you so' in his voice.
They wander over to where about 300 people are gathered about. On the raised platform a woman in what Hillary considers period costume is addressing a crowd of mostly women, but some men as well.
They hear:
"Among the many important questions which have been brought before the public, there is none that more vitally affects the whole human family than that which is technically called Woman's Rights. Every allusion to the degraded and inferior position occupied by women all over the world has been met by scorn and abuse. From the man of highest mental cultivation to the most degraded wretch who staggers in the streets do we meet ridicule, and coarse jests, freely bestowed upon those who dare assert that woman stands by the side of man, his equal, placed here by her God, to enjoy with him the beautiful earth, which is her home as it is his, having the same sense of right and wrong, and looking to the same Being for guidance and support. So long has man exercised tyranny over her, injurious to himself and benumbing to her faculties, that few can nerve themselves to meet the storm; and so long has the chain been about her that she knows not there is a remedy.
The whole social, civil and religious condition of woman is a subject too vast to be brought within the limits of one short lecture. Suffice it to say, for the present, wherever we turn, the history of woman is sad and dark......."
"OH MY GOD!" Hillary almost brings the proceedings to a halt with her outburst, then she softens her voice as she whispers to Bill, "I know that speech! I learned it by heart! Could this be.....????"
"Yes, it is. We're in 1848 Seneca Falls, New York, and that is Elizabeth Cady Stanton speaking. Like the old TV program used to say....'and you are there!'.....now do you believe me?"
"I'm coming close!" she answers, then goes over to a group of women standing together, clearing her throat to get their attention. They look at her in her peculiar garb with questions in their eyes, but she asks first, "What exact date it is today, ladies?"
Martha Ridley quickly answers, "Why it's July 19, 1848, my dear." then goes back to listening to the speech, enraptured.
Hillary gets a defeated look, "OK, Bill, you win. This is the real deal. I time traveled. I find it hard to believe still, but there's no doubt we're at the actual Seneca Falls Convention that led to Women's Suffrage. I sure wish I could tell others about this experience, but....."
"But they'd laugh you out of the room, just as you did me!" Bill concludes.
She makes a face, then chuckles, looking at William, "OK, big guy, take us back again!"
They join hands and are instantly back in the front yard at the house on Winding Willow.
Hillary is shaking her head, "I never would have thought something like that was possible! Never!"
"Glad to have assisted you broadening your mental horizons!" William says happily, "If at any time your life in D.C. gets to be difficult or frustrating, just remember, you just ask and I'll be glad to take you anywhere your little heart desires."
As Bill and Hillary walk back to their car, she looks at William and laughs, "And you don't even charge for your trips! If you did, you could make a bundle!"
"Sshhhhh, don't let the others hear you, Hillary. Some of them have time travel coins as well, and it might put ideas into their heads."
She puts her index finger in front of her lips and whispers, "Mum's the word!" as she gets into the car.
Bill high-fives William, gets in and they pull slowly out of the driveway.
"Well, well," William says to his rosebushes, "Another successful trip! I say there, rosebushes, where would you like to go? Someplace where there's a longer growing season.......someplace......."
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR RSVP, ROSE!...by Terri
Henry sat in his banquet hall, a scowl on his face. He looked at his progeny. What a bunch! he thought. Richard loves a battle---and the men on the battlefield! Geoffrey just does nothing but hunt and falconing. And then there's John--where do I start?
Ferguson came in to the hall, holding something in his hand. He hesitated. "Uh, Sire? This was found in the Great Hall. It is specifically addressed to you. The, uh, handwriting looks familiar, Your Majesty."
Henry quaffed his claret in three gulps. He leaned over and held his hand out. Ferguson hesitated. "Damn, man! Just hand it over!" Henry ripped the envelope out of Ferguson's hand. Geoffrey LeBon looked over. "Trouble, Henry?"
Henry leaned back and scanned the contents of the envelope. A picture fell out.
Geoffrey picked it up. Henry's face darkened. "DAMNATION! SHE'S GOING TO DO IT AFTER ALL!" Henry's three sons looked up from their drinking contest. A serving wench came over to Henry and laid her hand on his shoulder and traced his ear with her finger. "Trouble, Hank?" Henry brushed her off like a gnat. "Later, Miriam! I've got a little problem to work through." She frowned but left.
Geoffrey LeBon leaned over. "What is it, Henry?" Henry smashed his fist down on the table, making all the dishes jump. "Rose is to be wed to that...that renegade--Gwinnett! She swore she was going to do it and now she is! I thought it was just a passing fancy, he's so much older than her."
Richard said, "Father, may I remind you that you are in your mid-forties and that guy is only about 30?" Henry reached over and cracked Richard across the face which sent him sprawling. Geoffrey LeBon reached over and punched Henry. "MAY I REMIND YOU THAT IS MY GRANDSON?"
John P. said, "What are you going to do with that invitation to her nuptials, Father?"
"I'll tell you what I'd LIKE to tell her to do with it!" This had totally turned Henry into a foul mood. Geoffrey looked at the picture in his hand. "I think you may want to see this picture, Henry." He turned it over to him. It was a picture of a small boy with blond hair and bright blue eyes. Henry immediately softened. "It's William," he said softly. "Will. My son. He looks just like Rosamond. And just as sweet. How wonderful of her to send me the picture so I can at least see how he is growing!"
Geoffrey said, "There is a note included in it."
Henry snatched it out of Geoffrey's hand. His face grew purple with rage. He crumpled it up and threw it down. Geoffrey picked it up and smoothed it out. He read aloud, 'Enjoy this picture of Will, Henry, because it is the last one you will ever get. You were a lousy father, just as you were a LOUSY LOVER! As soon as John and I get married, John will adopt William. He will be known as William GWINNETT and there is not a thing you can do about it. Rosamond. P.S. Eleanor says 'hi!'
There was dead silence at the table. John tried to keep the smirk off his face. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about Father marrying Rosamond and making that little pipsqueak an heir!
Richard whispered to Geoffrey, "I think he is more upset about the 'lousy lover' remark than the adoption!"
Geoffrey whispered back, "She sure knows how to push his buttons!"
Henry stood up, grabbed a bottle of claret and bellowed "MIRIAM!" as he left the room. The three Plantagenet heirs resumed their drinking match and Geoffrey looked around and said, "Nothing changes around the old castle!" and heaved a sigh.
NOW WHAT, HOTSHOT?.......by Coralynn
WandaSue sips her coffee while Isabella watches "As the Planet Turns" on TV. WandaSue has been in a foul mood ever since she and 'Belle' were packed off in a squad car and a taxi respectively and hustled away from the house on Winding Willow.
"Turn that damn thing off, Belle. Of all the soaps you have to get hooked on, it has to be that one! You enjoy watching Rosebud sashay around looking like a million bucks? I don't!!"
"But the story is so good!" Belle protests, "Ya see, they have this drifter who hits town and passes himself off as a guy who can make it rain. They haven't had rain in two years and they're desperate....."
"Yeah, yeah, they stole that plotline from a movie with Burt Lancaster and Katharine Hepburn. If you don't believe me, I'll rent the video! Now, what are we gonna do to get back at Rosebud? If they just had the wedding shower, then the wedding can't be too far off. My guess is a couple weeks or so. We gotta find out where and when and crash the party, is my idea. That would be fun!"
"I don't know, WandaSue........that sounds like just one more chance for them to pack us away in taxis and stuff. It's embarrassing."
"Have you lost your nerve, Belle? What it is with you anyway? You plotted your husband's death......you know, that Edward the Second guy?......you and Roger deMortimer had him killed in a gruesome way. If you could pull that off, this should be a cakewalk."
"But that caper left no marks on the body," Belle explains, "It was easy. No risk. This caper you have in mind is a different story. Besides, I don't have a title now, I'm no longer Queen, I'm just Belle, an average person. I'm not too crazy about that, either, let me tell ya! I'd go back to where William had me trapped in the 12th century if we still had a way to time travel...."
"And whose fault is that?!"
"Mine."
"You're damned right it's your fault!"
"The only thing I like about this timeframe is Billy Bob Montgomery, my true love."
"That's getting to be annoying, Belle. He resists you at every turn. Why not pick on some guy who, for some demented reason, has the hots for you?"
"Who would that be?"
"Beats me! But maybe we could hit the singles bars and find him!"
"You really think I stand no chance with BB?"
"About the same as a snowball in hell, and besides, he's still legally married to me!"
"Yeah, but....."
"Yeah but nothin'! If he ever comes back here, and he will sooner or later, I'M his legal wife and I get to live with him, that is if he still has a place to live whenever he gets tired of hanging out in Paris. He and I have some serious unfinished business!"
"You'd take him away from me?!" Belle is incredulous.
"You never had him!" WandaSue says sharply, "How can I take someone away from you when you never had him in the first place?"
"But you know he's my soulmate!"
"Will you get over it? He is not your soulmate or anyone's elses. He's just this rich, pampered, spoiled rotten excuse for a man!"
"But he's my man!"
"Not according to the Courts he isn't! If you don't drop this obsession you have with him, you may find yourself deadmeat!"
"You wouldn't!"
"Why not? Since you aren't from this time and place, no one would report you missing, surely not me, and the world would be a better place without you!"
Belle begins to cry, looking at WandaSue for any effect it may be having on her.
"I told you before, and I'm telling you again, Belle. Crying gets you nowhere with me. So.....shape up!"
Belle attempts to stifle her sobbing, and eventually succeeds.
"We'd better start staking out that house on Winding Willow!" WandaSue says with determination, "We've gotta find out where they're having that wedding. I parked my car far enough away from their house when we went to the shower so that chances are they won't recognize it. I have to decide whether to do it by myself or take you along. You aren't much help, so maybe I'll just tie you up here so you can't do any damage while I'm staking out that place."
Belle's eyes widen, "Tie me up? Oh no! Please take me with you, please, please!"
WandaSue ponders this, then tells her, "If I do, you have to sit quietly and under no circumstances get out of the car. One false move and I dump you somewhere, then change my address and move out so you won't be able to find me again. You will be homeless, wandering the streets looking for a deserted ally in which to sleep; asking passersby for food. Does that lifestyle appeal to you, Belle?"
"You wouldn't!"
"Wanna test me and find out?"
Belle hangs her head in defeat.
"I didn't think so! OK, then, let's roll! We'll look in on those rich snobs every couple hours for as many days as it takes till we find out where that wedding is going to be! Here!" she tosses a red wig and pair of dark sunglasses to Belle, "we go incognito, and, remember, not a peep out of you!"
WandaSue picks up her carkeys and goes out the door, Belle following meekly, tugging the red wig over her head. However, her mind is swirling with ideas about how to win out over WandaSue and end up with her soulmate, who, she knows, will come around to seeing that they are meant to be!
YOU-KNOW-WHO SHOULD HAVE STAYED YOU-KNOW-WHERE ....by Terri
"Jameson? Meet me for lunch. I think we need to talk." Bobby Joe said. Jameson held the phone away from him. "Huh? Since when do you give me orders, Bobby Joe?"
"Since I have information that I think we need to discuss. It's about our mutual friend. You-know-who."
Jameson sighed. "OK. I'll meet you at the Lobster Pot on Hwy 141. Let's say..11:30?"
Bobby Joe said, "Sounds good. I wouldn't call you unless it was important."
At 11:30 Jameson pulled into the lot. The hostess showed him to the table where Bobby Joe was waiting. Bobby Joe said, "I took the liberty of ordering you a drink. Which I think you are going to need. Also I have a Xanax which I am SURE you are going to need."
Jameson took a drink of his martini. "OK, what's so all-fired important?"
Bobby Joe turned to the waiter and said, "I'll have the crabcakes. Wild rice. Coleslaw and hushpuppies."
Jameson sighed. "I'll have the same."
After the waiter had gone, Jameson hissed, "What is going on?"
Bobby Joe looked furtively around. "I think Magruder and I are cracking the case!"
"YOU? Working with Magruder? Yeah, right!"
Bobby Joe leaned over and told him what he had learned from Ernie about Randy Griswold. "...and if that is the case, Billy Bob left town and all the time he didn't have to. Because Randy Griswold was the intended hit and Randy Griswold is the one who is dead."
Jameson paled and sat there with his head in his hands. He moaned. "What am I going to do?"
Bobby Joe said, "Nothing right now. Magruder is covering all leads. He won't let Billy Bob come home until he is absolutely sure that he will be safe."
Jameson put his head down on the table and banged it several times. Each bang was punctuated with "He-is-going-to-kill-me-he-is-going-to-kill-me..."
Bobby Joe asked, "Why did he leave anyhow? I never was too clear about why he felt someone was after him. If it was about that redhead last summer and her wrestler husband.."
"No, no, no--but you can't breathe a word. Unfortunately I talked Billy Bob into drugging his horses with a combination injection of steroids and amphetamines. We had Lightning Bolt dogging it so the odds would be astronomically against him. Then when the odds were like 50 to 1 we souped him up and cleaned up."
Jameson ran his hands through his hair. "Billy Bob could have stayed in town. Sounds like no one was after him after all. Ohhh, what have I done? He's lost Rose..."
Bobby Joe frowned. "I think he would have lost Rose anyway."
"...he's lost time with the baby.."
Bobby Joe said, "He would have lost the time anyhow, the baby and Rose are a matched set."
"...he's lost the ranchhouse and furniture..."
Bobby Joe tried to pacify Jameson. "It needed updating and redecorating anyway."
"..he lost his jacket..."
Bobby Joe brightened. "But he has his boots and his hat!" "...and now he's going to kill me...for real!"
Bobby Joe frowned. "I guess I can't help you there, Jameson!"
Jameson sighed deeply. "Guess I'd better call him."
Bobby Joe said, "OK--but he can't come home yet. Not until Magruder makes sure."
Jameson grabbed the phone and dialed Florence, Italy.
"Hello?" a voice said cautiously.
"Billy Bob, it's me..Jameson...your cousin."
"NO KIDDING! I only know one Jameson!"
Jameson breathed deeply but it didn't keep him from wanting to pass out. "Uh, we may have some news for you. Bobby Joe has a lead and he and Magruder are following it up. It may be that the guy killed who fits your description was the intended hit after all and he stole your car. Isnt't that funny?" Jameson laughed weakly.
'WHAT!?"
"I SAID WE MAY HAVE SOME NEWS..."
"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID THE FIRST TIME! AARRGGHH!"
Billy Bob's voice became that eerily calm voice that Jameson and Bobby Joe dreaded. "Are you telling me that I didn't have to leave? That I could have been living my life at the ranch in blissful harmony with my wife and child? That my life could have been going on like it always had been?"
Jameson was quiet and didn't have much of an answer. "Uuuhhh, yes..." Billy Bob said, "Find out and find out YESTERDAY! As soon as Magruder knows for sure, I am hopping on the first flight out of here. I need to make things right with Rose. Right after I kick her butt. And finish it with John Gwinnett once and for all."
CLICK!
WHO LIVED HERE, the BRADY BUNCH?.....by Terri
Rosamond woke bright and early and stretched in the bed. John had come out of the shower and was towel-drying his hair. "So what do you have planned for today, sweetheart?"
Rose contemplated. "I think I will go over to the Cooper house--soon to be the Gwinnett house--and see what needs to be done. Painting, wallpapering, maybe some new windows, bump out a wall, maybe raise the ceiling...."
"Whoa! Get a grip, pumpkin! We are going to be living there in less than two weeks. Don't go making a disaster of remodeling. I don't want to carry you over the threshold amid construction dust. I don't have to be at the gym until 10:00. I'll go with you."
"Celeste offered to watch Julie and William took Will to school. Just wait for me to take a quick shower."
Within a half hour, John was unlocking the front door of their new home. Rose gasped. She exclaimed, "I knew Mrs. Cooper was old...but I didn't think she was THAT old! Look at that wallpaper with the roses! UGH!"
John said, "Well, it WAS in trust. Since she died. No one had been in here for awhile and her heirs just wanted to unload it."
They walked through to the kitchen. "OH NO! FORMICA--and pink! With the little boomerangs in the design. Was she going for a retro look?"
"Uh, no, I think this is original, honey."
Rose looked at the appliances. "John, these just HAVE to go. I can't live with harvest gold, rust and avocado. I'm getting nauseous just looking at it!"
They walked through the house. "Shag carpet. That went out with beanbag chairs. And that gold-and black flocked wallpaper in the dining room has GOT to go! John, didn't you realize how OLD this house was?"
John shrugged. "I didn't look. Hotspur was just saying to me 'location, location, location' and I knew you didn't want to stray far from the nest. Bethia is right across the street."
Rose sighed. "I'm sorry, John. It DOES have possiblities. Let's go upstairs."
Rose paled at the bathroom. "Formica again. Look at that little window." She tried to raise it. "Painted shut."
John looked around. "I, uh, guess I didn't notice all this, honey. I'm sorry."
Rose brightened. "I can get Murphy to help me out! He'll finish in the next day or two over at the ranch. He's wonderful and has the best crew of subcontractors. I'll call him when I get back home."
They walked into master bedroom. Rose looked up. "Mirrors. MIRRORS? Was old man Cooper a swinger or what?"
John looked up and grinned. "I kinda like the idea!"
Rose shook her head. "No. No way. And these closet doors. Slats? Un, un. I need a full-length mirror."
She headed towards the bedrooms. "How many bedrooms did you say were here, John?"
"Five. With a library and a dressing room. Upstairs laundry room. Check out this room for the baby."
They went into a small but sunny room with dormer windows and an alcove. Just the right size for a nursery. Rose said, "It's great--for now. But in a few years Julie will require a bigger room." John nuzzled Rose's neck. "Just as long as we continue to fill up the nursery."
Rose turned and said to him, "Just how many children do you plan on having, John? We never did discuss it."
"I don't know--five? six?"
FIVE? OR SIX? What do I look like, a broodmare? A baby machine?"
"You've got great child-bearig hips. Why not?" "I'll tell you why not..."
"Come on, we'll talk about this after we're married."
"Darn right we will!"
They came to a large room with a skylight. Ample closet space. They both said, "This is for Will!"
Rose said, "Those wire shelves have to go, John. Along with the pale blue paint. ICK! I hate that shade of blue! I see a mural of a beach. I know a fantastic decorator."
The other bedrooms had similar problems. Rosamond could not find one room that didn't need work. She sighed. "I think we can turn this place into a showroom. I have that 500,000 I got from Billy Bob's estate. Let's use that to renovate."
They walked outside. Rosamond walked all over the patio. The bricks were in good shape--for the most part. They were moss-covered. A fountain was full of algae.
"I'll run some bleach through it. See what it looks like. I DO like the sculpture. And some of this wrought iron furniture can be salvaged. It just nees a wire brush and some Rustoleum paint."
"Can you do that?"
"Just watch me!"
They walked over to the detached garage. John pried the lock off. Inside was more retro furniture. "Sure you don't want to do this house in 1950's retro, Rosamond? Could make it to Architectural Digest, you know!" "This won't even make it to "Trailer Trash and Hearth Digest, John! However, this area would be ideal for growing herbs."
"Just as long as there are no rose bushes here, Rosamond. You aren't very good with them." Rosamond stuck her tongue out at him. They walked back into the house. Settling in at the metal and plastic table in the kitchen, Rose put her finger down her throat and said, "Ack, ack!" when she saw the linoleum. "Black and white squares? What would Martha think? NOT a good thing!"
"We can't live around all this construction dust and mess, Rosamond. You are talking about not having a kitchen." Rosamond lifted her eyebrow and said, "What is your point, John?"
'How are you going to cook?"
"Cook? COOK? ME? Have you ever seen my bacon? Slice it thin enough and you can reshingle a roof with it!
"What do you expect us to do, Rosamond? Eat out every night?"
Rosamond bit her lip. "Have you ever seen what I can do to Coq Au Vin?"
John looked over at her expectantly. "No--but I'll bet it's wonderful!" Rosamond tried to keep her lips from smiling. "Oh, it's something else. I'll make it for us tonight--on this avocado stove! Before it is turned over to the dump!"
She walked over to the stove and turned it on. Burner #1-no. Burner #2-nothing. Burner #3-nada. Burner #4-it turned on if you pushed the knob in and held it for 30 seconds. But only on simmer.
She turned to John. "Guess the Coq Au Vin will have to wait."
John dug his car keys out of his pocket. "I hate to leave you in this House from Hell that I bought for you..."
She protested, "....it's not so bad..."
"....but I have to get over to the fitness center..."
"...some fresh paint, a few fresh flowers, some throw pillows...."
"....so contact your Mr. Murphy and do what you have to in order to make it presentable."
"...and I know where I can get some really nice furniture.You wait and see!"
He kissed her goodbye and started towards the door. "Less than two weeks, snookums!"
"But, John, if it's still a mess, we will have to stay with William a little while longer."
But John was out the door and didn't hear her.
"Murphy? It's Rosamond de Clifford. Yes...I am looking forward to seeing the results....about ten more days? OH NO! I need you to give me a bid on renovating a house we just bought...thanks, the wedding is in less than two weeks....yes, it WAS a whirlwind courtship....no, no, I have to get that Bed and Breakfast going. Juanita is SO looking forward to managing it....no, I understand...can you meet me here later today to give me an idea on cost and time-frame...2:00 PM would be fine...the address is 274 Winding Willow Rd...well, no knocking out of walls...mmm..maybe just one or two, but don't tell John!....I have to drop by the ranch later this morning. There's some things I want to pick up...OK, Bye, Murphy!"
Rose walked back to the Big House, grabbed her keys and fired up the Miata. Now where can I lay my hands on a pick up truck?
"D" FOR DANIEL.........by Coralynn
Daniel is slamming around the apartment, rearranging futniture, swearing up a storm.
"You know Daniel, I'm kinda rough around the edges myself, but I'm getting tired of listening to you cussing!" Rafe tells him.
"Yeah, but you don't have the problems I do, Rafe! You aren't in love with a woman who's marrying your brother! You aren't the father of a child taken away from you because......."
"Sit down Daniel. I said sit!"....Rafe uses an autoritative tone that he's never used before, and realizes he kinda likes it. Daniel actually sits, much to Rafe's surprise.
"Now, listen. Don't say anything, just listen. You claim the baby is yours. Tell me, how many men was Rosamond sleeping with at the time of the conception?"
Daniel twists his mouth and, after thinking it over, answers, "There was me, of course, then somewhere along the line there was John. That Montgomery sap actually thought the baby could be his, so I guess.....him. Rose is a real tramp!"
"OK. You say you love her one minute, then call her names the next. Why?"
"Because I should have what's mine!" Daniel says defensively.
"So it's like a wolf pissing around the edges of his territory.......telling other wolves to stay out, cause it's his."
"Right!!" Daniel brightens, "You get the idea!"
"That's not love, Daniel, that's possession. You can possess an object, but you can't possess another person. I found that out with Bess. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, so.....so......that's it. If Rose wants John, then you're out. End of discussion."
"You been watching Dr. Phil, haven't you?" Daniel accuses him, "I can spot that psycho-babble a mile away!"
"Yeah, I have. The guy is smart. I've learned a lot about how to 'be' in the 21st Century from watching that show. Wouldn't hurt you a bit to watch it, too."
Daniel frowns, "That stuff is for sissies!"
"OK. Never mind that, then. Next question: why do you think the baby is yours?"
"Because!!"
"Not a good enough reason. Anything else?"
"Anybody looking at the baby can see the resemblance! Why Montgomery thought the child his who knows? He must have been blind!"
"I've taken a close look at that baby myself, Daniel. Yes, she resembles you, but she also resembles your identical twin brother. I have come to the conclusion that she is John's child."
"How?! Why?! You traitor!"
"Let me look at your ears......ah yes, not an imperfection anywhere. Ever look at the baby's ears? She has this irregularity around the edge."
"Could be a birth defect!"
"Nope! Ever look closely at John's ears?"
"Why would I do that? What'd'ya take me for, some kind of fancy boy?"
Rafe ignores that and goes on, "He has the same irregularity on both his ears. You guys are identical, almost. Not quite. He's the baby's father."
"You don't know that!! Did they do a DNA test? Noooooo!! They're afraid to, cuz it would come out that I'M the father! I just know it," the punches himself in the midsection, "in here!" and doubles over from the blow that was harder than he'd meant it to be.
Rafe exhales loudly and, shaking his head, goes in the other room to watch Dr. Phil.
LET MAGRUDER DO IT!......by Terri
Bobby Joe took the four-wheeler to the mailbox. Still things coming in for Billy Bob. Guess I'd better turn it over to his attorney. He took his own mail back to his kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee and opened it. Bill...bill...bill....you may already be a winner....should read you may already be a WEINER!...I'm pre-approved...I'm pre-approved...I'm pre-approved...what's this?
Bobby Joe opened it. An invitation. To a wedding. HOLY SMOKES! It's for Tequila Sunrise and that John Gwinnett. They really are going to do it! He reached for the phone and called Jameson.
"Hello?"
"Jameson, it's me--you sound like a freaking mess!"
"Never mind that. Any word from Magruder?"
"He's still checking out his lead. Why?"
"Because the longer he takes the longer I get to live."
"Speaking of checking, did you get today's mail?"
"It's sitting on my desk. Consuela our maid just dropped it here. Why?"
"Did you get a wedding invitation?"
"Let me look through...yep! Hmmm...wonder who..?"
The sound of a letter opener followed by a minute of silence.
"Jameson, you still breathing? Or should I call 9-1-1?"
"What am I going to do? How can she marry that Gwinett guy when she's still married to my cousin?"
"I dunno. But something is up. Are you going to the wedding?"
"Guess so. I hope I don't have to jump up when they come to the part of 'anyone know any reason why these two shouldn't be wed?' What do I do, jump up and yell 'I know the answer! Pick me! Pick me!' And you know Anastacia. She'll go just to see what the bride's dress looked like and see what etiquette sins they have committed. Like being married to Emily Post. What about you?"
"I liked Tequila Sunrise even before she was hooked up with BB. Yes, I'll go. She's a sweetheart. I'm sorry she and BB couldn't make a go of it. From what she said, she's been in love with this guy for a long time."
"Yeah, they came out to Long Island together and stayed at my beach house during that big storm in September. Before she and Billy Bob even were together. I think."
"So who's going to tell Billy Bob?"
"Not me. You're his best friend."
"Yeah, well, you're his cousin."
"Let's get Magruder."
"Yeah--he'll do anything!"
"Will you listen to us? We sound like a Life Cereal commercial. 'Let's get Mikey!'"
"Didn't that kid die when he ate PopRocks cereal?"
"Naw, that's a rumour....WILL YOU SHUT UP, BOBBY JOE? Gotta think...gotta think....gotta think...."
"Well, speak of the little devil now...here she comes up the driveway. Gotta go! Later!"
Rosamond knocked on Bobby Joe's door.
"Hey, Tequila Sunrise, what's shaking?"
"How's the ranch running, Bobby Joe?"
"Checking up on me?"
"Well, it is my little girl's inheritance!" she laughed. "Actually, I am going over to the storage room and looking through some things. I think I want that dining room table."
"WHAT? You..you can't take that!"
"Why not? It's not doing any good in storage. John and I bought a house in Chappaqua. Right down the street from where we live. You'll have to come visit us! I'd like to stay friends, Bobby Joe."
"So would I. Uh...got your widow papers for the marriage certificate?"
"I didn't need to. I got an annulment."
"You...WHAT?"
"Annulled. Null and void. Never happened. So the courts of New York say. He can thank Wanda Sue Skaggs for that one. If she had signed the divorce papers, I would have been his widow. Can't have two widows, only one."
"But..you're getting married..."
"A week from Saturday. You ARE coming, aren't you?"
'I--I wouldn't miss it for the world, darlin'."
"I invited Jameson and Anastacia and Verla and Jake, too. I drew the line at J.R. and Mary Ellen. Heard they went back to Texas. I'm also borrowing the pickup truck. Do you have the keys?"
"But...but....but..Billy Bob never let ANYONE drive it!"
"What's he going to do, assemble himself from Watson's meadow and reappear to tell me NO? Hand over the keys, Bobby Joe, and you won't get hurt! I know you have them."
"At least let me help you go through the storage room."
Everything that Rose wanted Bobby Joe had a reason for her not taking it. Finally in exasperation she said, "If I wanted to, it would have gone to the Salvation Army! Now back off or help me load this table and the chairs into the flat-bed."
"You mean to tell me that you are taking Billy Bob's heirloom furniture and putting it into a house that you are going to live with another man?"
"No--I'm not telling you that but...Yes, I am! Aw, come on, Bobby Joe! Be happy for me!"
Bobby Joe helped her load it. "How are you going to unload it?"
"Hmm..hadn't thought of that."
"I'll go with you, drive the truck, unload it and then we come back here."
Within two hours they were done.
Bobby Joe called Jameson. "She took the table."
"WHAT? AUNT MAY'S TABLE? The English Oak? The sideboard too?"
"Yep! Found out something else, too. She got an annulment. Right in time, too. Told me it was a present from the lawyer. He rushed it so she could get married by October 4th. Now who's going to tell Billy Bob that he's not married to her anymore? Never WAS married to her and now the great state of New York agreed and put their stamp on it."
"I say we just keep our mouths shut. Let her be the one to tell him when he comes back to reclaim her and finds HE'S null and void. Let's plead ignorance on this one, Jameson."
"Right. While we are pleading for our lives!"
Click!
SHOULD WE MOVE THE HOUSE A LITTLE TO THE LEFT, ROSAMOND?.....by Terri
"Mrs. M? Where are you?"
"I'm in here, Murphy. Come on in!"
Rosamond had most of her body under the kitchen cabinets and only her legs were visible. "Just checking out the inside of these cabinets. Orange Day-glo contact paper. YUCK! Didn't anyone have any taste in the '70's?"
She gingerly pulled herself out from under the sink. Cobwebs were stuck to her hair and she had smudges of dirt streaked across her face. Her shirt was a wrinkled mess and her jeans had grass stains on the knees. Murphy burst out laughing. "Yeah, you're some kind of glamour girl now! If only your soap fans could see you now!"
Rose looked down at herself and smiled. "I used to get dirtier than this as a kid. But not much!" She washed her hands in the sink and dried them on the back of her pants. She put her finger to her lips. "But don't tell anyone what you have just seen!" she whispered.
Murphy whispered back, "You could drink milk straight out of the carton and I wouldn't tell!"
She took Murphy's arm and led him to the living room. "What do you think about knocking this wall out and opening it up?"
Murphy knocked on the wall. "It's a load-bearing wall. Needs some sort of support."
"How about those neat pillars?"
"That would work."
"I'd like to take out these windows and bump them out. That would give the illusion of more space."
"Mrs. M.--have you been watching Christopher Lowell again?"
"PLEASE, Murphy--don't call me Mrs. M! I won't be that for much longer. Actually I never was, I guess. Just call me Rose. And yes, I am a devoted C.L. freak! What that man can do!"
She led him into the kitchen. "Want a beer?"
"I'd be crazy not to! One of the advantages of being the boss!"
She handed him a Budweiser and opened one for herself. She twisted off the cap and took a drink.
"Damn, Mrs...er, Rose! You ARE human!"
"Murphy, it's all glitz! The trick is to leave it at the studio! But don't tell John I was drinking out of the bottle--he thinks it's unladylike and I don't feel like looking for a glass. Now--about the kitchen. John has it in his head that I am going to be cooking dinner. I've got news for him--he's going to share in this one! You name it, I incinerate it! He'll probably send me to cooking school. I did make lasagna once for....well, it came out alright. NOW! If he expects me to spend any time in here besides using it as a pass-through to the outside, I'm going to totally gut this. New appliances. I went to Lowe's and picked up their catalogues. I circled the appliances I want. All stainless steel. And here's the cabinets I want at Home Depot. Top of the line. Flooring. Tile? Hardwood floors? I haven't decided yet. All I know is that this cheap linoleum and the cheap plywood cabinets have GOT to go. Along with the Brady Bunch's fixtures. Maybe a renovating place would want them. I think there are some people out there who actually like the '70's look. EEEEKK! Look! A mouse just ran across behind the fridge! Make a note--call an exterminator!" Rose shuddered.
She dragged Murphy upstairs. "Now! I want a skylight where those dreadful ceiling mirrors are. Can you imagine anyone sticking mirrors on the ceiling? Some one like Henry would...." she shut her mouth instantly.
"Henry?"
"Never mind. I guess mirrors on the ceiling are a 'guy thing', huh?"
Murphy stood rooted to the spot and looked at the mirrored ceiling. "Yeah, it is, " he said dreamily.
"Helloooo? Earth to Murphy!"
Murphy snapped out of his reverie. "Sorry, Rose! What did you want done?"
"Skylights. New windows. New flooring--I guess carpet. On to the bathroom now."
First thing Rose did was try to open the window. "I took a chisel to it and cracked it. New window. I want one of those glass block walls for the shower. Clawfoot tub has to go. It's stained and rusted. I want a deep soaking tub--built for two." At that she blushed. Murphy said, "Nothing new under the sun, Rose."
On to what would be Will's room. "I need the closet enlarged, new lighting, a skylight here, too. Love skylights! Great for stargazing in bed! Can you get in contact with that person that does the faux finishes? I saw her do a beach scene on a wall and you could have sworn you were at the beach. I want to surprise Will. He will probably want Scooby-Doo but tough luck, kid! He'll outgrow that in another six months!"
She dragged Murphy by the arm. "Getting all this down, Murphy?"
"Hey, I gave up on notes! I'm taperecording all this stuff so I can play it back later."
"This is the nursery. I need soft pastels, maybe in a light green and white. I'm sick of pinks and blues and John has it in his head that he wants a lot of kids."
"Yeah, he told me he wanted eight or nine."
Rose was swallowing a sip of her beer and started to choke. Murphy patted her on the back. "You OK, honey?"
"Yes, just found something hard to swallow."
Rosamond had similar requests for the other rooms. "On to the library, Murphy!" They trekked downstairs. "I think this should be done in deep burgundy. The one we had at Loverlock was like that. Lots of leather furniture. And the fireplace needs sandblasting. Why the Coopers painted it brown I'll never know. Look here!"
Rose chipped away some of the paint. "This is real old brick. John said from the 1640's, I guess he would know."
"John knows antique architecture?"
"I guess you could say that!"
They headed outside. "What about the outdoors, Murphy?"
"Well, we could pressure wash the algae and moss off the bricks. Carefully. That's a nice fireplace built into the patio."
"Yes, but it's painted green!"
"OK, so we pressurewash that too. What about the fountain?"
Rose said, "I'll take care of that! I love the lines on that statue. Look at the water that should be coming out of the fish's mouth! I'll run some bleach through the lines and see if I can clear it. Now about landscaping.."
"Landscaping I don't touch. I kill everything in my path. Would you like me to hire a gardener for you?"
"Wonderful! Just one request--NO ROSES! I hate them!!"
"Are you almost finished at the bed and breakfast at the ranch? We have guests coming in October 3rd." Rose asked.
"Just a few finishing touches. The trim around the windows and some last minute brickwork around the outside. Building that brick wall took some time. And we had to special order that wrought iron gate."
"I've got the landscaper for that coming in Wednesday. He assures me he can get the grounds looking like those courtyards in Charleston. He should be done by then. Juanita is so excited. I've put her in charge and gave her a share of the profits. She's such a sweetheart and has worked really hard for this."
"Think it will all work out?"
"Murphy, the only thing that can stop it is if Billy Bob Montgomery rises from the dead and comes back to find his beloved ranch a dude ranch!"
Murphy whipped up his estimate, gave Rosamond a copy of the contract. "Will you be at the wedding next Saturday, Murphy?"
"Rose, I was deeply touched that you thought of me and the missus. We'll be there with bells on!"
Rose laughed, "You spent as much time in my bedroom at the ranch as I did, Murph! You are like family now!"
Murphy looked out the window. "Here comes John. I'd better get out of here before he asks me any questions. Answering them is your department now. Sure he'll be OK with this?"
"Leave him to me. How long you figure to do this job?"
"About three months."
"Three MONTHS? I'll be back from Fiji in four weeks. Oh no, he's going to be ballistic! Oh, well, I'l smooth it over with him. Now GO! Before he catches you!"
Murphy waved and headed out the back door as John came in the front.
The front door opened and Rosamond flung herself into his arms. "Oh, darling---it seems like an eternity since I've seen you!"
John didn't say a word but returned her kisses with passion. He backed her up against the harvest gold refrigerator, kissing her fervently. Suddenly she opened her eyes. What was so familiar about this scenario...?
'DANIEL! I OUGHT TO KILL YOU!"
Daniel laughed. "Hey, YOU made the mistake, not me! I just came to drop off some papers for John to look over tonight. I saw your car in the driveway and I thought it would be safer to leave them with you than to run the risk of seeing William the Tub! I must say, that was one HELL of a greeting! Too bad you weren't wrapped in Saran Wrap!"
Rose was furious. "Just give me the papers and GET OUT OF HERE!"
Daniel raised his eyebrow and looked around. "Where's Marsha and Alice?" Then he started singing, "Here's the story..of a lovely lady..who was bringing up three very lovely girls....."
"Yeah, yeah, Daniel. I know. It needs work."
Daniel looked around. "That's an understatement. I would have put you in a castle, Rapunzel."
Rosamond said, "The good thing is I get to renovate."
"Renovate? Reconstruct is more like it! You gonna keep that mouse that just ran across the kitchen for a pet?"
"He's being dispatched tomorrow for a better world."
Daniel sat down at the kitchen table. "Trouble you for a beer?" Rosamond frowned. "Just one. As long as it's to go."
Daniel stretched his legs out. "You're making a mistake, Sugar. Again."
She kicked his feet off the chair. "It may be a broken down retro chair, Daniel, but it's MY chair and it's in MY house!"
"How long do you think you will last with John?"
"Forever."
"I give you a year with John day in and day out before you are bored, bored, bored!" He stood up. "And when that day comes...I'll be ready and waiting for you."
Rose said, "Hell hasn't frozen over yet, Daniel. And it's not in the forecast. When will you ever get it in your head that it is JOHN I love. And it is JOHN I am marrying next week. And it is JOHN I will spend the rest of my life with."
Daniel drank the rest of his beer and deposited it on the counter top."Yeah, yeah..I hear you. Keep convincing yourself of that, sweetheart. See ya!"
As he closed the front door, Rosamond threw the beer bottle at the door. It hit the glass panes and shattered.
She calmly walked over to the cellphone, dialed a number and said, "Murphy? Add one front door to the list!"
Rosamond sat down at the retro table. Her hands were trembling. How could I make that same mistake again, she wondered. How DARE he say I would be bored with John! And yet....did my heart skip a beat before I knew? She shook her head. NO, IT DIDN'T! It couldn't have! I thought it was John.....didn't I? This is just pre-wedding jitters...isn't it? All brides freak out a little before..don't they? I love JOHN..and John alone! Daniel was just a passing memory...and getting cloudier by the minute.
"Honey? You still in here?" Rosamond jumped a mile. She rushed into the livingroom and came to a halt.
"What's wrong, honey? You look like you've seen a ghost!" John grinned. Rosamond said tentatively, "John?"
"Who'd you expect?"
She rushed into his arms and whispered, "Never let me go!"
John and Rose sat there with a pizza as John went over the contract. "Rose, are you kidding? All this? If this house was in such bad shape and not to your liking, we could have resold it."
Rosamond stood behind John and put her arms around his neck. "But darling, I'm having such fun renovating it! You'll see! It will be beautiful when I am done!"
"Where did you get that beautiful English Oak dining set in the basement?"
"Ohhh...just something I picked up. Do you like it?"
"My parents had one like it in England. I suppose Charles has..had...it. This can't possibly be finished by the time we get back from our honeymoon. How long did Murphy say it would take?"
Rose said in a small voice, "three months."
"What? I can't hear you."
"Three months."
"WHAT?"
"I said THREE MONTHS!"
"Are you telling me that I am spending the first three months of my married life living with William and family?"
"John, it's not that much different than what it has been."
"And it's been HELL--William still does not approve and he lets me know with every little sigh, with every little eyeroll."
"Well, when we get married he can stop that, can't he?"
John frowned. "I suppose so. But William will have to slip from disaprroval to YAY! in the course of 45 minutes. That's asking alot of him! Oh, by the way, a notice came special delivery for you. It's from FairyFashions, telling you that your bridal gown is in the store awaiting your final fitting."
Rose jumped up excitedly. "Wonderful! I went over the menu with the caterers last week. Seafood and roast beef and chicken. Champagne. And most of the RSVPs came back with an acceptance. The florist has my flowers, she just cannot find any daffodils which is what I REALLY wanted. I'll have to settle for carnations in the bouquet." John reached over and touched her hand. "I can't believe in less than ten days you are really and truly going to be MINE!"
She smiled happily. "Mrs. John Gwinnett--and the next time I sign a charge slip as 'Rosamond Gwinnett' I'll really mean it!"
Then Rosamond grew serious. "John, about the number of babies...."
John just smiled, shoved a piece of pizza in her mouth and said, "We'll talk about that later...right now, just eat your pizza and enjoy your last week of singleness!"
on to next part of STORY
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