Small Shack With Some Rice
(The Joe Millionaire Song)

(Parody of Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise)

As I turn on the dozer and I lift up the crane,
I take a look at my life, and realize I’ve got no brain
Cuz’ I’ve been digging and shov’lin so long,
That even my shrink thinks I’m a damn moron.
But I aint never got a cent working like a fly,
I make 19K a year, I can barely count that high.
You better have some clean socks, and not live in a box,
Or your sorry ass could land a hit show on FOX
I really hate to brag but I got a cool doo,
My barber says its like cutting leaves off a bush, FOOL
I’m the kinda bum that all the people stray away from
In my Jeans where I lay
Same pair I wore yesterday…


I’ve been spending most my life,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Food stamps help me cut the price,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Skipped college, paid the price...
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Each year I shower twice,
Living in a small shack with some rice.


So here’s the situation,
FOX came a-racin’
“This loser is just fine”
“Was he raised in a coal mine?”
So they nailed me down with a contract,
All I gotta do is meet some hos and slap lots of ass.
I’m an isolated man and “I don’t know where is France”,
Got Doritos in my left hand while the other’s in my pants.
I’m a worn out bachelor dirt-diggin’ homie,
Lookin’ for a wife, she’ll probably out-dough me, FOOL
20 girls, and some beer, now that’s hot,
They want my stash, but cocaine is all I got.
I’m 28 now, will my I.Q. stay at 85?
The way things is goin’, I think so…


Tell me why the…Fox Company
Portrays all these bums, like you and me


I’ve been spending most my life,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Sleep with a bunch of mice,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
All I eat is burnt French fries,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
I’m used to swatting flies
Living in a small shack with some rice.


Melissa M. is funny, Zora’s kinda sour,
Heidi is a demon, all she wants is power,
Everybody’s bitchin’, and half of em’ are foreign,
What’s goin on with this butler?
Dressin’ me in Ralph Lauren…
They say I gotta dance but I don’t think I could,
That won’t stop me from Bangin’ Sarah in the Woods…
I guess I must,
If we are drunk,
It’s a slam dunk,
Some day I know she’s gonna have my babies, punk


I’ve been spending most my life,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Furniture would be nice,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
No heat, just candlelight,
Living in a small shack with some rice.
Didn’t take much advice,
Living in a small shack with some rice.


Tell me why the…Fox Company
Portrays all these bums, like you and me


Tell me why the…Fox Company
Portrays all these bums, like you and me


WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!