It's a new day, but it's really cold
Got a good life, but my scalp's exposed
And all the time it's where these damn flakes lay
And my office, jokes me when they can
They say I've got, a winter wonderland
I wish I had no hair for them to see

And I go around looking like a jerk,
I'm using Head and Shoulders, wish it worked…
And no girls want to feel my greasy head,
Yeah they will never wanna,
Cuz' I am permanently screwed,
These things just ruin my doo
What I'm saying is this is the dandruff
Cut my damn hair off
SOON! Cuz I am just screwed…

See the doctor, get a prescription, use it daily,
"It'll help ya Jim"
But that would never work without a doubt…
I'll have to get by, live a shitty life
Cuz my dander's causing such a strife
Maybe a crack whore will be worth my time…

Do you think that I don't wash my hair?
Do you really think those little bastards care?
Do you know I can't talk to a crowd?
Yeah they will never wanna,
Cuz' I am permanently screwed
These things just ruin my doo
What I'm saying is this is the dandruff
Cut my damn hair off
SOON! Cuz I am just screwed…

(Scratch it once that's fine, Scratch it twice my head swells
Scratch it three times my kids will think it's snowing again.)

Screwed.
These things just ruin my doo
What I'm saying is this is the dandruff
Cut my damn hair off
I've got the feeling, my dead skin's peeling
Screwed. These things just ruin my doo. (Ruin my doo)
This is the dandruff, cut my damn hair off
I've got the feeling, my dead skin's peeling

Another day of dandruff (D'oh!)
Another day of dandruff (D'oh!)
Another day of dandruff (D'oh!)
Another day of dandruff (D'oh!)