Disclaimer: I get no profit from this story. The characters Hans, ECT. As well as the story idea belongs to me. The characters Aphrodite, Ares, Cupid and Athena ECT Do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them. No copy write infringement intended. Please do not use this story on your web site, web page ECT. Without first asking me and receiving my permission, you may however use this story for private use, but must use it with all disclaimers. If you would like to send this story to a friend, please ask me first, and receive my permission, and you must not get any profit from the transaction. I get no profit from this story in anyway, so please don't sue me!!

Authors note: Wow that was a pretty long disclaimer wasn't it?? I hope I got everything in though; I don't want anybody to take this story the wrong way! I admit that I am playing Aphrodite a ‘little’ out of character here. But I’m tired of everyone treating her like a ditz, let’s give her SOME brains here! And she’s also a little bitchy here, but hey a girl can only take so much, right? Whatever, blame it on that time of the month it you want. LOL. As in most of my stories Cupid is NOT Ares’ son, I don’t CARE what mythology says! LOL

Dedications: For everyone that wants it to be for them.

Warnings: Sex: Do you think?…... Well I guess ‘YES’ but nothing really graphic. Language: Mild-Medium. Violence: Not too bad. Well for ME anyway! LOL.

Rated: 14-A or R.

Summary: Aphrodite is forced to ask her brother for a favor and gets an unexpected friend.

"I talk, but you don‘t listen. You speak, but I don‘t hear." –Miranda, Jodie and Sarah, from their bands song ‘Insane' in the band 'Anonymous Caller'

Band disclaimer: That line along with all songs are sole property of the band they came from. You may not use them for any reason with out the express written consent of that band. Song Copy write 2000 by Anonymous Caller.

Now for the story!!!!! *Everyone claps, glad to be rid of the disclaimers*

Pink Frills VS Black Leather
By Delenn

Aphrodite appeared in her brother’s room holding a petition that she needed him to sign. She rolled her eyes as she heard moaning, giggling and other sounds coming from the bed. Aphrodite cleared her throat and a woman’s head appeared from under the sheets. She sat up pulling the covers up slightly to cover her, said something, and Ares came out from under the sheets as well. “What wo... Oh that’s my sister. Dite, what do you want?”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes again, she did NOT want to get into her brothers love life. She made the paper appear on a chair next to the bed. “Yeah, here, sign that.”

Ares sighed and with a thought both him and the woman were dressed. Ares got out of bed picked up the paper and started to read; he was in his usual black leather. Aphrodite looked at the woman, who was in a tight, short, black leather dress, which was tinted red. It had small splits on either side so she could move, had leather straps, and was rather low cut on the top. An outfit to rival Aphrodite’s own, except it wasn’t in pink. The woman herself had light blue eyes, long straight raven hair, and cherry lips. Seeming to sense the Goddesses eyes on her the woman looked up at Aphrodite and smiled wickedly. Ares finished reading the petition and said, “No, I won’t sign it.”

Aphrodite whined, she was determined to get what she wanted, “C’mon, I need you to sign it.”

The woman crawled up behind Ares, and putting her arms around his neck whispered something in his ear. Ares said to the woman “Here, look at it if you want.” Then to Aphrodite “I’m not going to sign that.”

Aphrodite recognized the woman now; she came to most meetings and parties with Ares. Aphrodite, as the goddess of love, found the whole thing rather disgusting. Why bring a mortal to meetings for gods? She said “Why not? It clearly says that everyone has to sign!”

Ares rolled his eyes, searching for an excuse, “Athena already signed.”

Suddenly the woman looked up, obviously having finished reading Aphrodite’s petition. “Sign it, Ares.”

Aphrodite noted that this was the first time she had ever heard this woman speak, and it was in her favor! Ares looked to the woman, raised an eyebrow and asked “Why?”

The woman rolled her eyes as if it was very obvious “Because I said so. But if you must have a different reason.... Athena will be mad that you signed, and it doesn’t matter to you weather your sister’s manicurist is turned immortal or not.”

Ares sighed in defeat, and pulled the woman on his lap “I let you get away with murder.”

The woman smiled “I know, now sign.”

And she held out the paper for him. Ares made a pen appear and quickly signed Aphrodite’s petition. “There, anything to keep you happy, my dear. Here, seeing as you wanted me to sign you can give this back to my sister.”

The woman took the petition, got up and walked up to Aphrodite. When they were close enough the two women sized each other up. The woman was taller than Aphrodite by at least few inches, though they looked nothing alike. Suddenly the woman smiled “Here... Dite, is it? Aren’t you the Love one?”

Aphrodite scowled “Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love to be exact, and who are you?”

The woman smiled “Well, Dite, I’m the Destroyer of Nations. Nice to meet you.”

Aphrodite smiled while she thought ‘Oooh, she’s a warrior, no wonder Ares is after her. All about greed, sad really.’ She asked “I didn’t catch your name...”

The woman smiled again “No, you didn’t.”

The woman turned and walked back to Ares, obviously dismissing the Goddess of Love. Aphrodite had a sudden urge to blow this woman to pieces, but she was love, she didn’t do stuff like that. So instead Aphrodite left, after all she had what she wanted. The woman sat back down on the bed and asked “Let me guess, another family member you don’t get along with?”

Ares growled “The blond bimbo... She has no brain, Xena, all she thinks about are her hair and manicure appointments.”

Xena shrugged “Ahh, well I’m sure lots of women are like that.”

Ares nodded “Can’t we just forget about her? Where were we...”

Xena slid out of bed “I was just leaving... I have a battle soon and I have to get ready, I didn’t realize the time. We’ll have to hold that thought. What happened to my armor?”

Ares silently cursed his sister for her timing. “Your weapons are over there.”

Xena attached her Chakram, put her breast dagger in its place, put on her boots and walked back to Ares. “I’m sorry I have to go, Ares. I promise we will continue our... activities... later.”

Xena gave Ares a quick kiss then she was out the door on the way to her army‘s camp. Ares once again cursed the goddess of love and disappeared to find Discord.

~(*)~

Aphrodite paced her temple, trying to cool down. Several of her priests had tried to cheer her up, but it hadn’t helped, Aphrodite still had an overwhelming urge to hurt someone. Suddenly a thought flashed through her mind. ‘This must be how Ares feels... Whoa, yeah right, ‘Dite, you’ve gone delusional!’ Her son, Cupid, appeared and asked “What’s up, mom? Couldn’t get Ares to sign your petition?”

Aphrodite stopped pacing “Oh, Cupie, it’s not that. He signed it, it’s who got him to sign it.”

Cupid was patient with his mother “And who was that?”

Aphrodite threw her hands up in the air and sunk onto a couch. “That... WOMAN... that he brings to meetings with him. I just, I want to SMACK her!”

Cupid said “Whoa, mom, cool down. How’d she get Ares to sign it?”

Aphrodite said “I will like not calm down! She just said ‘Sign it’ it was so simple, and all my begging did nothing! Oh, and the whole thing just makes me ill!”

Cupid asked “Isn’t that normal? I mean just cause she isn’t a priestess... Do you even know that she isn’t a priestess?”

Aphrodite asked “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Cupid explained “Well we all have things with our priests or priestesses, don’t we?”

Aphrodite argued “This is different! She just said ‘Sign it, Ares’ it was like she had all this power over Ares, and she addressed him without using a title, that’s not fit for a mortal!”

Cupid asked “Mom, why do you care?”

Aphrodite frowned “I don’t... I just hated her so much, everything about her.”

Cupid reasoned “Mom, you said it was like she had power over Uncle Ares... The god of WAR. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to become friends with her?”

Aphrodite asked “Why?”

Cupid rolled his eyes “So that you can use that power, it would be the perfect way for you to get back at her. You’re the goddess of love, you’re not allowed to hurt someone, but she’s mortal, you can use her.”

Aphrodite considered this idea. Cupid asked “What are you waiting for? GO!”

Aphrodite smiled “You’re right, like what would mommy do without her baby boy, hmm? Tootles!”

Aphrodite disappeared. Cupid smiled at his silly mother and sat on the couch, careful not to crush his wings.

~(*)~

Ares appeared beside Discord, who was sitting on HIS throne. “Well, well, look who I found.”

Discord looked up “Uh, sorry, Uncle, I’ll get out of your throne.”

Ares put his arm around Discord’s shoulders “Discord, Discord, you know so little about the realm...”

Discord smiled “Yeah, that’s why I want to learn all I can from you.”

Ares continued “And yet, you seem determined to take over my position. That ‘little’ war you started in Athens has taken over the city. And my darling sister Athena is blaming me.”

Discord smiled timidly “Oops? It wasn’t supposed to get that big... Uh you can blame me?”

Ares assured her “Oh I did, and you will be punished. You see I had to listen to Athena lecturing me on keeping my minions under control and that does not make me very happy. You understand, Discord?”

Discord frowned “Uh, not really?”

Ares said “Let me make it simple. Having to put up with my family makes me want to hurt someone, and seeing as it was your fault....”

Discord realized the danger too late and tried to get away, but Ares’ arm was around her shoulders and she couldn’t go anywhere. Suddenly Ares grabbed her by the neck and lifted her off the ground. He growled “Now listen to me, Discord, I AM the GOD of WAR. You work for ME. You do NOT start WARS without my permission. Understand?”

Discord nodded weakly, trying to get out of her Uncle’s grasp. “Uncle, you’re choking me!”

Ares’ eyes flashed “Oh, am I? Well let me fix that.”

He then threw Discord across the room where she crashed into a wall. As soon as she got up Discord promptly disappeared. Ares laughed “What a great way to relax. Now to check in on Xena’s war.”

~(*)~

Xena was lounging in her tent going over the plans for the battle. She had already killed her second in command for coming into her tent unannounced the night before, when she had been otherwise engaged. She had then promoted the man in line for her second in command’s position. The Goddess of Love appeared and smiled “Hello again!”

Xena looked up and, leaning back to be more comfortable in her chair, said “Hello.”

Aphrodite kept on smiling. “I think maybe we got off to a bad start...”

Xena’s hand rested on her Chakram, which was eyed wearily by the other woman. “Umm...”

Aphrodite continued “So I was thinking that maybe we should start again.”

Xena nodded “Hmm...”

Aphrodite realized that she was going to have to do something drastic to get a response from this woman. “So, yeah, like, I’m sorry about that whole thing... you know the way I acted. I was being a tad bitchy.”

Xena kept her eyes focused on the goddess “Really.”

Aphrodite said “Yeah, so. I’m Aphrodite, but my friends call me Dite.”

She gestured with her hand indicating that it was Xena’s turn. Xena got up and walked to Aphrodite. “I’m the Destroyer of Nations. Now listen here, Love Goddess, we’re not friends and we are not going to do ‘girl things’ get this straight. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you, so whatever act you are trying to pull it isn‘t going to work.”

Aphrodite said “You know, it would be a lot easier to talk to you if I knew what to call you.”

Xena agreed “I know.”

Aphrodite said “I can’t talk to you if I don’t know your name!”

Xena smiled “Then don’t talk to me.”

Aphrodite stated “Look, just because you are sleeping with my brother does not give you the right to talk to me like that! I am trying to get along!”

Xena cocked her head to one side and rose an eyebrow “You’re jealous.”

Aphrodite crinkled her nose “Of what? Pluh-eze!”

Xena stated “Of me. I have more power then you and I don’t have to hide who I sleep with.”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes “Oh, trust me honey, if I were you I wouldn’t advertise!”

Xena scoffed “Same here.”

Aphrodite pulled rank “You know, for a mere mortal, you are a rather uppity little thing. You do know that I could kill you with a mere thought, don’t you?”

Xena stated “No, you couldn’t.”

Aphrodite was getting worked up by now “WHAT do you MEAN by THAT???”

Xena said “You’re the love one, you don’t just kill people. Besides, you’re afraid of Ares.”

Aphrodite raised her voice. “Everything comes back to him! My brother is a murdering bastard!”

Xena asked “So?”

Aphrodite continued “He doesn’t feel at ALL!”

Xena considered the Goddess, deciding what to tell her and what not too. “That’s not true.”

Aphrodite finally let some of her true colors show “He’s my opposite!”

Xena smiled “That’s what your problem is. You’re Love and Ares is War... is that it? If you’re right then he has to be wrong. You ever think that maybe you aren’t on such opposite ends of the world, you two aren’t that different.”

Aphrodite shrieked “How can you even say that? We are NOTHING alike!”

Xena was still smiling, though it was a rather evil smile. “Let’s take you and me for example. How old are you supposed to be?”

Aphrodite wearily said “My twenties I think.”

Xena continued “Alright, I’m Twenty-two. I wear leather, you wear lace. You have blond curly hair I have straight black hair. I like war and fighting, you like love and shopping, right?”

Aphrodite asked “So? You are just proving my point.”

Xena growled “I am not done! I bet you lots of people don’t like how either of us dress. You know all that crap about too revealing outfits. Ok, so we look different, we’re both tall...”

Aphrodite grudgingly added “And beautiful.”

Xena smiled “You’re the goddess of love, you have to realize that war and love go hand in hand. It’s all about passion, desire, that rush you get. So now, love goddess, tell me how different we are.”

Aphrodite refused to give in “You’re mortal, I’m not.”

Xena explained “I used you and me because we are both women. What makes you think Ares is so different? Don’t you gods get along at all?!”

Aphrodite said “So? Ares has a temper and he is stubborn! He’s Hera’s favorite!”

Xena chuckled “Now you are proving MY point. What have you been doing this whole time? You have been arguing, you’re temper flaring, and you have been refusing to see my side... Just like me.”

Aphrodite raged “YOU ARE THE most STUBBORN woman I have ever met. How can you EVEN compare love and war? How can you know what I’m like or my brother? You’re mortal! You LIKE fighting for gods sake!”

Xena’s eyes flashed and she stiffened “Ooh, I hit a nerve. I thought the goddess of Love doesn’t get mad.”

Aphrodite screamed “I HATE YOU!”

Xena smirked in a superior manor “I hate you too.”

Aphrodite put her hand to her mouth in shock “I didn’t.... no... I don’t... no, no. I didn’t mean it! I didn’t say that! I don’t do that!”

Xena asked “Yeah you did, and somebody else was watching.”

Aphrodite looked puzzled, then she felt it. “Ares!?”

Ares appeared behind Xena. “Hello, Sister.”

Xena smiled and asked “Don’t tell her my name, Ares.”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes at her brother. “I just can’t believe you.”

Ares stepped away from Xena “Just a moment, my princess.” and faced his sister.

Xena sat back down, wanting to watch this family feud. Aphrodite said “She’s so young, Ares, how can you have HER as a warrior.”

Ares countered “She’s not that young, Aphrodite, and I didn’t make her a warrior. It’s in her nature, it was her choice.”

Aphrodite asked “And that makes it better? Ares, you don’t just have woman warriors. That’s not your realm, you have no rights.”

Ares growled “Don’t tell me what rights I have, sister.”

Aphrodite argued “She belongs to me, or Hera because she’s female. And if she must be a warrior then she belongs to Artemis... wait she isn‘t an Amazon is she? Then she belongs to Athena! Not you.”

Xena jumped up and her eyes flashing pushed between the god and goddess and growled, her voice low and menacing. “I don’t belong to ANYONE, you damn gods think you just own the world. Well you don’t! I didn’t want to be an Amazon, or one of Athena’s bitches. I want to conquer the world, I am the Destroyer of NATIONS. And who better then the god of War to help me accomplish that goal? I’m not some goody, goody female that sits at home and cooks!

Aphrodite looked appalled “Ares, how could you? You are going to use this... WOMAN... to conquer the world? I already knew you wanted to be top god, but this is low, even for you. And you,” She turned on Xena “Are a fool. You think the gods will just obey you’re every whim? And let you just take over the world, no hassle?”

Xena looked hurt briefly, she rounded on Ares and spat. “And you. If you EVER involve me in one of your personal wars again I will.... marry some jerk and sit at home as a common housewife. Don’t mess with me, War God, I could take on your army.”

Ares flinched “I was on your side, sweet. I know that you could take on my army, I trained you.”

Xena didn’t acknowledge Ares, but she did say to Aphrodite “I am not a fool, I don’t think the gods will do anything for me, you don’t do anything for the rest of the world, and no one is going to ‘let’ me take over the world. I will take it by force if I have to. Now, love goddess, I think you should go. And by the way, we are not friends.”

Aphrodite frowned, she had failed to keep her temper in control and screwed up her plan, she hadn‘t even gotten this woman‘s name. Aphrodite mumbled something and disappeared. Ares said “You know I wasn’t trying to insult you. I know you can look after yourself, I just couldn’t help arguing with Aphrodite.”

Xena pouted “I know...”

Ares started massaging Xena’s shoulders. “You should get ready for your battle, it should not take that long.”

Xena pulled away from Ares. “No it shouldn’t. Well I better get my armor on and get going. You’ll be there, right?”

Ares nodded “Of course, princess, I never miss your battles, no matter how small.”

Xena taped her foot impatiently, and Ares disappeared laughing. Xena sighed “Damn Love goddess, she threw off my whole timing. Where was I?”

And dug through her battle plans.

~(*)~

Aphrodite was practically in tears “That’s it, Cupie, I can’t do it! I-I-I said I h-hated her! And It’s TRUE!!”

Cupid, who had been watching the whole thing comforted his mother. “It’s not that bad, we all blow our tops every once in awhile. Have a bubble bath, relax, go shopping, and then when you feel better try again.”

Aphrodite said “But I’m the GODDESS of LOVE, I like NEVER blow my top. That’s what I’m known for, Cupie, you don’t get it.”

Cupid ignored his mother “I was listening to you too. She really isn’t that different from Uncle Ares. She wants to get a rise out of you, she likes how you feel when you yell.”

Aphrodite said “I feel AWFUL when I yell...”

Cupid continued “Precisely. I was thinking about ways to get on her good side. Be truthful, tell her you didn’t know what to think when you first met her, that she’s right you are alike.... No mom, let me finish. Tell her that you’ve decided that you don’t have to do ‘girl things’ to be friends, find a common bond. Tell her that you need help working on your anger.”

Aphrodite considered this “You really think it’ll work?”

Cupid said “Yes, but only if you are relaxed. Go have a bubble bath or something.”

Aphrodite said “Alright.... Cupie?”

Cupid asked “Yes mom?”

Aphrodite smiled “Like pluh-eze get off your pretty pink ass and like get back to work while mommy’s busy, Kay, sweetie.”

Cupid frowned “Yes mom.”

Aphrodite waved and disappeared.

~(*)~

Xena stalked into her tent, her cheeks flushed heart pounding. There was nothing she loved more then a good fight.... well maybe something. The smell of blood surrounded her. He appeared and they both grinned evilly. Ares complimented “You know, I think you are even more beautiful in blood.”

Xena licked her lips “I’d say the same for you, but you seem to have already cleaned up. Did you like the ‘battle?”

Ares said “I liked the heads on the spikes, nice touch, my dear. I haven’t seen a massacre like that in ages.”

Xena said “I am glad you approve oh mighty god of war.”

Ares picked Xena up and spun her around, usually nobody talked to him like that, but he didn’t mind Xena doing that. “Don’t start with me, Warrior Princess.”

He set Xena down, who was laughing, and said “Ok, happy? Now I’m covered in blood again.”

Xena said “Very, but I could think of lots of things that would make me happier.”

Ares snapped his fingers and they were both clean, “Better, Princess?”

Xena ignored the sarcastic tone to Ares’ tone and said “Yes, much.”

Xena put her arms around Ares’ neck and purred “I‘m feeling energetic, all that blood, let‘s burn off some excess energy.”

Ares kissed her “Hmm.... Well when you put it that way...”

They disappeared.

~(*)~

Aphrodite stepped out of her bubble bath and was fully clothed. ‘Attack methods.... Step 1, go visit ‘Thena.’ She waved off her masseuse “Not today, Hans, I like have some stuff to do.”

Hans nodded, got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around him, bowed and left.

Aphrodite made a portal appear, checking to see that Cupid was indeed off his pretty pink ass and doing some work! Seeing that he was NOT, (he was being ‘entertained’ by some priestesses) Aphrodite screamed into the portal. “Cupid! Mommy’s like totally getting pissed! Now like what did we talk about? Oh yeah, I like totally forgot, GETTING OFF YOUR ASS AND GETTING TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!”

Cupid shuddered in the portal “Yes mommy....”

He waved his servants away and appeared in his room where his arrows were. “Happy mom?”

Aphrodite smiled and made the portal disappear, she’d check on him again later. “Yes very..... Now like maybe ‘Thena can help me...”

Aphrodite disappeared.

~(*)~

Athena was sitting in her throne room, her minion Nike was sitting on her lap blabbering on about something or other, when Aphrodite appeared. Aphrodite winced “Like sorry ‘Thena... Didn’t know you were like busy....”

Athena blushed “I was not ‘busy’ Aphrodite. Nike was just filling me in on some wise people, weren’t you Nike?”

Nike bowed and lied “Yes, Goddess.”

Athena looked stern “Well go on, Nike, we will continue this ‘discussion’ later.”

Nike scurried away and Aphrodite asked “Sis, I need a favor...”

Athena rolled her eyes “I already signed the immortal Manicurist thing..”

Aphrodite bit her lip “I know...”

Athena stood up “Oh no, no, no, no! I am NOT getting anyone else to sign!”

Aphrodite sighed “That’s ok, ‘Thena, I like just need somebody’s name.”

Athena cautiously asked “Who?” You could never tell a trap with Aphrodite.

Aphrodite asked “Well, you know that woman that is always at meetings and stuff with Ares? What’s her name?”

Athena spat “Why do you care?”

Aphrodite said “Like common, ‘Thena, just tell me her name, pluh-eze?”

Athena sighed “I’m not sure, Aphrodite, I try not to even notice her. Absolutely appalling that a mere mortal is at meetings!”

Aphrodite didn’t mention that Athena OFTEN had mortals at meetings, instead she said “Thanks, ‘Thena. Ciao!”

And disappeared. Athena called Nike back to finish their ‘business.’

~(*)~

Xena and Ares were going over a battle plan for Discords War in Athens. Xena pointed “If they go through the hill to the left they’d miss Athens.”

Ares shook his head “They will miss Athens anyway! The problem is getting them far enough away that the solders don’t go into Athens.”

Xena shook her head “You’re boxed in. Sea, forest and mountains. The only thing to do would be to completely turn them around.”

Ares shook his head “It would sound like a retreat. And the second army has the first blocked.”

Xena asked “Why do you care about Athens anyway? So what is the city gets trashed? This is Discords war, she should fix it.”

Ares said “Aww, but it’s not that simple, Athena is the patron goddess of Athens and she will have a FIT if Athens is ruined. And Discord can’t fix it! She wasn’t supposed to START it in the first place!”

Xena smiled and leaned back against Ares. “Ok, make this simple then. Blow up the clearing where they are?”

Ares laughed, wrapping his arms around his chosen’s waist. “I knew you’d say that....”

~(*)~

Aphrodite appeared next to Hermes “Hey bro, I like need a favor.”

Hermes smiled at Aphrodite “Sure, sis, whatever you want? Message you need delivered? I have a new policy, just say the persons name and I’ll find them, don’t need a place anymore.”

Aphrodite smiled “Cool but I don’t need a message, I was wondering about somebody’s name?”

Hermes asked slowly “Who?” Nobody asked anything of him except to deliver stuff.

Aphrodite smiled again “Well you know that woman Ares is always bringing to meetings? The mortal thing? Like, do ya know her name?”

Hermes winced “You wouldn’t like her, Dite, she’s not very nice.” He rubbed his ear “I usually just pray she’s heard of ‘Don’t kill the messenger!’ Why do you want to know?”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes “Just a name, Hermes, like Pluh-eze?”

Hermes sighed “Her name is Xena. Now I’ve gotta go, messages to be delivered!”

Hermes flew off and Aphrodite disappeared smiling. ‘I have her now! Xena what an interesting name.... Hi I’m Aphrodite and this is my friend Xena... Yeah like I’ll ever say that!’

~(*)~

Swords clashed in a clearing as Ares and Xena fought. Ares slashed his sword at her legs, but Xena flipped over him and swung at his back, Ares spun around blocking her blow. When a sugary voice said “Yo, comin’ down!”

Both combatants sheathed their swords. Xena whispered “Since when has she ever announced herself?”

Ares shook his head, and Aphrodite appeared in pink with her hands over her eyes. She carefully removed one hand to find herself in a clearing. “Oh thank gods! I’ve had WAY to many close calls this week.”

Xena chuckled and Ares said “Well, well, looks like somebody’s finally learned her lesson.”

Aphrodite removed both hands and straightened up, fixing a lock of hair. “Yeah, shove it, bro!”

Xena laughed “See something that you didn’t like....”

Aphrodite sternly reminded herself “Knock before visiting Daddy... Oop’s did I say that out loud?”

Ares winced and Xena made a ‘yuck’ face. Aphrodite remembered what she was there for “Yeah, Anyway, Xena, I was wondering if you want to do me a favor.”

Ares laughed “Oh that’s simple, NO.”

Aphrodite scowled “I didn’t ask YOU.”

Xena calmly pulled out her sword and twirled it. “Well he’s probably right, go ahead, I’ll humor you. What do you need, Aph?”

Aphrodite said “Yeah well I’m havin’ like some major anger issues. An’ I like thought that like maybe you could tell me how to work them like out?”

Xena pointed her sword in Ares’ direction “He could help you with that... I mean you are brother and sister.”

Ares backed up, from the idea, not the sword. “Oh no, not gonna happen. No. Not even for you, princess.”

Aphrodite wrinkled her nose “Nuh Uh. But I mean you have to have some ideas An’ you know bein’ girls and all....”

Xena suddenly laughed, “That’s your problem? Yeah sure, why not, anger issues. Yeah I can help with that.”

Ares said “On that note I’ll leave you to deal with your ‘anger issues.”

Ares walked up to Xena and kissed her “See you later, my sweet, we can continue our workout then.... Try not to hurt my sister...to much.”

Xena smiled “Bye...”

Ares stepped back and disappeared. Xena fixed Aphrodite with a stare. “Who told you my name?”

Aphrodite smiled sweetly “I have my ways to get information.”

Xena smiled a very fake and sweet smile. “Oh I’m sure you do, Aph, now who did you do to find out my name.”

Aphrodite winced “That’s rude! I didn’t ‘do’ anyone. I just asked Hermes.”

Xena shrugged “Yeah whatever.” She put on the sweet smile again and called “Hermes, I need you to deliver a message.”

Hermes appeared across the clearing “Hi, Xena, who do you want it to go to?”

Xena took a step towards Hermes she licked her lip and beckoned Hermes over with a finger. Hermes smiled and walked up to Xena. “Yes, Xena? What is it?”

In a split second Xena’s eyes narrowed and she grabbed Hermes by the neck, lifting him off the ground so that he was at eye level with her. “Tell Hades he should be expecting some more business from me. And, Hermes, DO NOT give out my name to anyone and stay away from me. Though I think Ares already told you to stay away from me, you should have listened.”

Hermes nodded and was dropped unceremoniously to the ground. He sarcastically said “Yeah, sure, Xena. Anything else.”

Xena pinched his cheek. “Nope, Herms, that’s all.”

Hermes disappeared muttering “Don’t kill OR embarrass the messenger!”

Aphrodite waved “Sorry Hermes, didn’t mean to send you to Unc Hades.”

Xena turned back to Aphrodite “So you want to work on your ‘anger’? Let’s go then.”

Aphrodite gave a puzzled expression at least it was working! Xena was being semi nice. “What d’ ya mean?”

Xena rolled her eyes “Who’s pissing the goddess of love off most?”

Aphrodite bit her lip “Cupid.”

Now it was Xena’s turn to be puzzled, though her face didn’t change. “Your son? The god of Love?”

Aphrodite sighed “All he does is sit in his room with a bunch of priestesses! He never does his job anymore, and he’s like bossing me around!”

Xena said “Okay, you’re the goddess. Go do something to his priestesses and yell at him. Simple.”

Aphrodite twirled her hair “Are you SURE? I mean it’s not that big of a deal, right.”

Xena ordered “Oh stop whining! Just go yell at him, it will deal with your anger and I can get back to my workout.”

In a split second Aphrodite had hugged Xena. “Ooh! Thanks! You’re so nice!”

Xena pried the Love goddess off of her, a disgusted look on her face. “Alright already! Just go! And I am not nice at all, I just want to get rid of you already.”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes “Yeah sure, hon. Besides I know what’s on your mind, my business remember?!”

Before Xena could correct her Aphrodite disappeared. Xena shrugged “That was weird. Ares? I want to get that new move down today!”

Ares appeared “That, my dear, was my little sister, goddess of love. Cupid is the only one more annoying then her.”

Xena laughed, drawing her sword, “Yeah, I can bet. I had a good time though; I got to yell at Hermes and I think I just broke up the close bond Cupid and Aphrodite share.”

Ares drew his sword and swung it at Xena. “Good job, sweet.”

~(*)~

Aphrodite appeared in her favorite temple and called sweetly “Cupie, could you like do mommy a favor?”

Cupid appeared and eyed his mother warily, he still hadn’t forgiven her for yelling at him. “Yes, mother, what is it? It’s not like I have a choice or anything is it.”

Aphrodite pouted “Oh, Cupie, don’t BE like that! It’s like so yucky, brings wrinkles you know. Doll, who’s your favorite priestess? Mommy wants to meet her.”

Cupid smiled “Sorry mom. Umm... Alexia, you’d like her.”

With a flash Alexia appeared. She was petite, had short blond hair, was blue eyed and had a shapely figure. She dropped to a bow and gave Aphrodite the evil eye. “My lord, Cupid, how can I be of ‘service’ to you.”

Aphrodite scowled for a second ‘Why in tartarus do Cupid’s priestesses always hate me?’ she smiled politely “Hey, hon, I’m Cupid’s mom. You know, the GODDESS of Luv? I want you to meet a friend of mine, okay, sweetie?”

Alexia still stared at the love goddess. “Whatever is requested of me...”

Cupid looked from his priestess to his mother. Aphrodite waved sweetly to Alexia and made her disappear. Cupid asked “Mom, are you still mad at me?”

Aphrodite lounged on a lacey pink couch, surrounded by cushions, “Oh no, sweetie, I’ve punished you and I’m not mad anymore. You should get back to work though, you know how busy it is this time of year, I love spring!”

Cupid bent down and kissed Aphrodite on the cheek. “I’m glad that you’re not mad, mom, love you! Bye, I‘ll get right to work.”

Aphrodite smiled contentedly and waved to her son lazily. “Ciao, Doll. Have fun, you deserve it.”

Cupid disappeared and Aphrodite giggled. “Oh I’m so naughty! HANS? I think I could use that massage now!”

Hans walked in and Aphrodite’s thoughts shifted. ‘He’s got such a cute ass! Yep, this is turning into a good day!’

~(*)~

Ares and Xena were in the middle of a sword fight when Alexia appeared right between them in a shower of pink hearts. Ares took one look at the stunned girl surrounded in pink light, then turned to Xena. “This is absolutely the LAST time you help Aphrodite out!”

Xena shrugged, sheathing her sword “How was I supposed to know she would send this girl here? Besides I just wanted her off my case.”

Ares pointed his sword at Alexia “Talk.”

Alexia smiled carefully as Xena drew her sword again. “I’m Alexia, priestess of the great God of Love Cupid. The Goddess Aphrodite sent me here to see a friend of hers....”

Xena moaned, in one swift movement slicing Alexia through the stomach and stepping over the body towards Ares and bringing her sword to meet his. “Friend? I’m her friend now? I tried so hard to get rid of her and suddenly we’re friends?!”

Ares chuckled, swinging his sword at Xena’s mid-section, which she blocked easily. “I warned you to stay away from Aphrodite, all that pink.” He cringed for effect.

Xena laughed, attempting to run Ares through, “Pink, yeah I got that idea.”

Ares shrugged, stepping back and bringing up his sword. In a flash of angry pink, if there is such a thing, Cupid appeared, looked at Ares and demanded “You killed my priestess, my CHOSEN?! You’re not allowed to kill another’s chosen! Zeus will have your head! He‘ll kill--”

Xena interrupted, spinning to face Cupid. “Actually, I killed her.”

Cupid turned to the woman, shocked at how stunning she was in person “You?”

Xena nodded, stepping back, standing next to Ares and smiling at Cupid. “I killed your little priestess.”

Cupid was feeling a tad light headed with those blue eyes staring at him, he was starting to think losing his chosen wasn’t such a bad idea. Cupid managed to ask, while trying to think how she’d look as a blond, “But why?”

Xena shrugged “I felt like it? Okay, your mom asked me to. She’s mad at you, you know. Now will you leave, winged boy? I REALLY want to get this flip down!”

Cupid muttered something under his breath, but looked fit to stay until Ares growled “Move it fly boy, if my CHOSEN wants to get a flip down then you are not going to stop her.”

Cupid glared at his uncle, looked towards the beautiful woman again, muttered something not fit for the god of love and disappeared in a flash of pink hearts and arrows. Xena raised an eyebrow “That was… Interesting… Is all your family like this?”

Ares chuckled “Unfortunately, yes.”