One of the greater honors of my life

King Colin taking a little spare time in his busy schedule to shake my hand. If you see him buy him a steak and send me the bill.

You are listening to a kickass song by The Band called "the shape i'm in". Definitely one of the finer musical artists I've heard.

Recently I looked up some excellent jokes from those "Truly Tasteless Jokes" books and there were so many good ones, I decided that this update would be more than one joke. Here are some really good ones that you can tell to some people and they will either slap you or laugh their ass off, depending on who you tell them to.

1)How do you embarass an archeologist? A:Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

2) Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? A:Their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.

3)What are three words most hated by men during sex? A:"Is it in?"

4)What is the difference between a bitch and a whore? A: A whore sleeps with everyone at a party, a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party but you.

5)What is the difference between anal and oral sex? A:Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

We decided that this is the lowest of low when it comes to sexist jokes.

What would be the best thing about a female president? A: We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

Ahhh... Nothing like a tasty Ramlosa in your belly straight from Sweden. I actually prefer it to Perrier, as seen below. However, when on a budget, I prefer Vons brand Club Soda in a can. Four six-packs for $3.88 if you are a member. For pictures of these, check out Dustin's website. His link is below.

There are two great movies we have been watching on the weekends, both of which contain the Golden Spiral. Pi and Donald in Mathmagic Land are not only entertaining but classics as well.

Here are two other fun teachers at alta loma. Stewart Heald to the left and Todd "Lippy" Lipschultz to the right.

Here is a quote that I saw that may seem lame to you. I kind of like it. If you do think it is lame, blow me.

"But at my back I always hear
Times winged chariot hurrying near"

Here is something that the whole world is grateful for, I am sure.

Just look at these happy guys.

If you were disturbed by the previous images, please accept my deepest apologies. If you are still offended, turn off the computer and pretend you never saw it. Anyways, here are some very fun games to play on your spare time. I'm not talking about those games with a lot of polygons and pixels and bits and shit either. These are simple and high quality, and way funner than anything sony would put out.

My highes score is 202 lines so far. I love it.

Dustin is the best at this game ever. I am not good. Dustin gets large scores that make other men quiver.

Below is one of my favorite sexist pictures. I like the look on the guys face. I admit that this could be some by-product of Photoshop, but I have a deep hope that this guy really did it.

one minor note. if you feel the need to say something to me, it is no longer quattro_200@msn. It is now audiquattro_200@msn.com. Don't take any wooden nickels.

3 Things I Heard Recently That Piss Me off or I laughed really hard at

When people said that we were in Iraq for oil I used to get mad. But apparently, according to some source in my Bio class, we are in Iraq for water as well. Now I can't stop laughing.
Much to my surprise and horror, in 10 years there won't even be snow anywhere. Baldy already doesn't get snow so I guess I'll be okay.
From a fellow dipshit I was acquainted with: I am told that drifting is the most skilled form of driving, and when he drives down mountain roads he is perpindicular to the mountainside at all times.
Another bonehead, (my roommate), claims that if he was to come into the trout ponds, he has a right to not pay for fish because he can catch them anywhere. Next time I get a sandwich I just won't pay for it because I could have made one at home. He needs a good sized bat to the head.

these websites are garbage

really, really, real pictures
some asshole's website, piss on him when you see him
Another new portion of the site
audis i have owned and currently own, and want to own
some other things, and my opinions
great pipe-smokers
Some Recent Dedications
Official Tom Leykis Homepage
A Good Place to get Leykis Recordings (Username: kingquattro; Password: audi200)