nocturne
I have not slept, nor will I.
It's 5 AM.  The sun's light tints the sky.
The room is empty, save for me.
Can't feel my soul, I've lost what's left of me
I'm waiting for the answers
To questions I don't know or understand
Up all night, not sleeping
Thinking, shiv'ring, starving, quaking, weeping
When I am out, they ask me
Why I'm not insane, afraid, or weary?
I laugh to keep from crying
I wonder what will happen when it starts
In turmoil as to whether
I will stand after the coming weather
The sun is fully up now
It's 6 AM.  I need to start my day.
If you should see me now, please
Just leave me be, I'll smile and nod with cheer
Trying to control myself
And if I seem to be of failing health,
Qué cera, cera, I'll say.
I make excuses, laugh, and stroll away
Hiding the pain inside me
An old man asked if I regret my life.
Alone, I answered truly.
"I do indeed, good sir, I regret it indeed.
But if I had the power
To do it over, I'd straightway refuse.
Could not suffer through again."
He nodded and said I was,
and I still am, right to think in that way.
Far better to laugh and cry
Than to only laugh and, while laughing, die.