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THE SBAM

What Is It?

Rules

    The Players
  1. Germany: Joel (round 1-
  2. Italy: Joel (round 1-
  3. Britian: Anti-Joel (round 1-8, Gordo 9-
  4. France: Anti-Joel (round 1-8, Gordo 9-
  5. Japan: Kenny (round 1-
  6. Russia: Bryce (round 1-9) Almond (10-) (with Landon and Elizabeth as co-premieres)
  7. U.S.:Julie 1- (with Anti-Joel playing it at various times)
  8. China (aka Tibet): Anti-Joel 1-4 Gordo 5-
  9. Norway: Landon (okay not officially a country but gets credit for stopping the German invasion)
  10. Passover Island: Rachel

4/5       The many hour process of setting up the Sbam commensed albeit without many of the pieces. A tarp was placed down and much ducktape used.

4/6      The pieces of the sbam are placed on the map after they are retrieved whena formal ends. The first few turns of round one are played.

It begins:

Preface
      As noted later, much of this war is through Russian eyes. It will also be noted that this book is historically accurate. Finally it should be noted that if you argue with this factual history it is off to the gulags.
P.S. Sorry about all the vets. Also ignore all notes about Yetis.

Round I

Fall 1939

Weather Clear

CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany25------------------NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNone
Italy13-------------------WarNeutralNeutralNeutralNone
Japan26-------------------NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNone
Britain50--NeutralNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
France26--NeutralNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States36--NeutralNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
China19------------War---------------------None
Russia39--NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies131--
Axis64--

Germany

      I roll my two allotted dice against France needing ten between them in order to be able to declare war. I get a 3. After buying a couple of special force infantry SFI),I attempt to influence Spain since my other attempt of influence in Southern America was blocked by the U.S. Spain has a ton of units in it (and a nice fleet next to it) and control of it makes taking France much easier. It costs triple the normal territory to influence (9) but it is worth it if I can get it. I need to get a 1,2,or 3 to control it and if I roll a 6 it goes British. So want to know what I rolled...

      As I roll my 6 I think I've already lost the war and we are still in turn one, part 1.       So with the first major action a failure I eventually rise from the floor and Germany invades a number of neutrals countrys being that Germany is not actually at war with anyone yet. Germany is required to attack Poland so it sends a plethora of SFI, Fighters, infantry etc at it. If I failed on Poland I was conceding right then.

      Germany also invades Denmark, Belguim, Netherlands, and Luxenburg.

      Sergent Grover led the Nazi troops to an easy victory in Poland and the rest of the lands all fell to the Germans.

      The Dutch, Belguim, and Danish government all fell causing some more rolls. I got some more 6's on the ones that would have netted Germany land allowing Greenland, Iceland, Congo (Damn I wanted the monkeys), and some other African territories to become British. However on the rolls that effected Japan, the ones concerning the Dutch colonies off of Asia, I rolled perfectly giving Japan the entire West Indes including 3 ipc Indonesia. The only German territory captured was Suriname. As long as I don't roll for myself I'm fine.

      The British and French react to the German assaults by both declaring war on Germany.

*Britain Declares War on Germany*

*France Declares War on Germany*

      Germany collects money from Russia and Sweden and ends its turn.

Italy

      Ah those loveable Italians being their pursuit of world domination despite getting no respect from any other participants of the war (including my supposed ally). But Italy has a plan and noone can not succumb to a quality Italian dish of lasagna. (haven't you ever seen Garfield?) After also failing to roll to be at war with France, falling two short of the needed total, Italy convinces Egypt to join it on its glorious plight (Those Egyptians are smart enough to ignore the chants of "Italy Sucks"). Oman also falls under the Italian banner albeit this time by force.

      Due to Iraq turning Italian the Japanese get to roll to influence Iraq to turn German. (So the Japanese roll so the Germans can get something in the aftermath of Italy conquering a territory. Makes sense...) while the British can roll to get Saudi Arabian on its side. The Japanese were successful while the Brits failed. Iraq becomes German. Saudi Arabia remains neutral.

      Again reactions roll commense with similar results for the Brits.

*Britain Declares War on Italy*

      The axis get some more money from European sympothsizers as Italy's turn ends

Britain

      Britain is already at war with its European counterparts so it begins by rolling against the Japanese an getting a 6. After failing on its technology try (they get one since Britain is at was) Britain attempts to take back some of the African territory controlled by the Italians. Egypt and Italian Somolia fall to the British lowering Italy's IPC value to below its starting point. Britain rearranges some units to prepare for battle with the Germans and gives way to the French.

      Germany and Italy both get to roll reactions against the British.

*Germany Declares War on Britain*

*Italy Declares War on Britain*

France

      Being already at war with Germany France rolls against the Italians. However she only gets a 4 keeping her from being able to declare war. France main effort was to take back Belguim from the Germany. The Venture is successful. Being that they are France and don't have much else to do France ends its turn.

      Germany gets reaction rolls.      

*Germany Declares War on France*

Japan

      Japan splits its rolls trying to avoid war with the main powers as long as it can in order to concentrate on China. It rolls one against each the U.S. and U.K. Japan then rolls for a tech, being at war with China, but fails miserably. Japan tries to get Siam to join in its cause by paying to influence them. Russia does not attempt to block. Italy wonders how an influence can be successful without the use of Italian food and is right. The influence fails.. apparantly sushi is not as effective.

      The next step for Japan is to begin its conquest of China. It invades Mongolia a neutral for strategic positioning as it touches much of China (and perhaps later access to Russia) Japan also invades the territory called China. Japan takes the would be Chinese Capitol if China was allowed one. Due to almost all Chinese territories being assigned to this territory Japan also gets most of the Chinese money. Since China would of been pretty much dead entirely under the original rules the idea of a shadow factory is created to help them out. This is the first of many revisions to the rules as this is the first time the SBAM is being playtested.

4/12

Day Two of War

Russia

      Russia also splits her dice but against th Germans and Japanese. Russia is trying to avoid becoming in tension with either since Russia gets money from both and loses it when in tension or war. After rolling and some previous influence rolls the Russians are at 7 against the Germans and 6 against Japan. Russia makes an influence roll against Turkey. Again no Italian food no success. Russia also takes the very Northwest corner of China and then ends her turn.

U.S.

      Since we are in 1939 the U.S. isn't gonna be doing much for a while. U.S. splits its rolls between Germany and Italy. Their only offensive action was an attempted influence of Brazil. As I was not present Kenny had the Germans attempt to block it. This worked beautifully as AntiJoel rolled a 6. (Ah sweet sweet revenge. Doesn't quite make up for Spain but it certainly helps) U.S. gets to make reaction rolls against the Germans for their own blundering. After them U.S. is at 11 against Germany, 5 against Italy, 3 against Japan and 2 against Russia (for the Chinese invasion)

China

      China rolled for the nationlists and the Communists to attempt to resolve their civil war. The communists took an early 4-1 advantage. However China was too stunned by the loss of their factory in China to mount any successful offensives. They collected their little money and their turn ended with the completion of round 1 of the SBAM.

CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany3725+12----------------WarWarNeutralNeutralNone
Italy1213-1-----------------WarTensionNeutralNeutralNone
Japan3426+8-----------------NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNone
Britain6250+12WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
France2926+3WarNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States36360NeutralNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
China1619-3----------War---------------------None
Russia4039+1NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies143131+12
Axis8364+19

Round 2

Winter 1939

Japan

      Japan begins round two by becoming the first power to successfully acquire a technology. Japan receives super aircraft carriers (+1 load factor, 2 hits to sink) for its efforts. Japan must immediatly pay the upgrade cost (another added rule) Now Japan has five ships requiring 2 hits to sent towards America (along with as many as 9 fighters on them if available). Japan then after rolling war rolls attempts at bringing Siam under its influence. This time however Japan succeeds (amazing the Italians) and has a helpful ally in southern Asia. Japan also continues its crusade of the weakened Chinese taking both Suynai and Anhwei.
4/20

Day Three of War

      A Journal is acquired (with musical nots on the cover no less) to be used as an official War Journal, The previous events of war are logged.

Germany

      Did Stupid Stuff (I think; as I was not actually there. This is because a Yeti was threatening my llama. Luckily, the Yeti spoke English, so I convinced him to eat a guy from SAE. (It is noted that SAE took second place in the Quiz Bowl tournament held that day from which I got this nifty journal)

      The Germans second turn was indeed rather uneventful. Germnany's plan of taking the rest of the neutrals in Europe is cancelled due to realization that they are all giving Germany money anyway or they are well Switzerland. Germany attempts to influence Sweden to join her cause and this time actually succeeds (If Sweden would of gone British..) Germany uses its bought sfis and infantry and its rails to reinforce the French German border and hands its turn off to the Italians.

Italy

      Italy did some stupid stuff. (The highly biased, yet somewhat accurate view of the Russian ed)

      Italy got revenge on Britain taking back Egypt and Italian Somalia. Italy also takes French West Africa from the French (Won't look as stupid once Italy wins the game through an African conquest)

Britain

      Britain rolls against Japan upping her total by 7 to 13. After a failed tech roll Britain attempts to take the Oman back from the Italians. While Britain successfully kills the only unit defending Oman, Britain does not have any alive infantry left to take custody of the land allowing it to remain Italian property. ( Russia however notes it can build a partisan in Oman making it Russian) Finally Britain non-coms (moves in the noncombat move stage) a couple of units into Papa New Guinea. Now it is time for tea.

France

      France rolls both dice against Japan adding an incredible two to their total. (Another 38 rolls or so and they are at war) France fails on their free tech roll. (This is because they are drunk; drunk and stupid) Their next move is to to strap bomb the Ruhr Valley causing the Germans to lose 4 ipcs. The French furthermore try to regain French W. Africa. While the battle costs the French four infantry it is still successful and French W. Africa is once again French. ( Next time I take it need to rename it Italian East Africa at the very least)

Russia

      The glorious mother country finally gets to take its turn. Life is good.

      Russia attempts to combine forces with Turkey and is not blocked by Japan much to the dismay of Germany. (Germany could of gotten control of Turkey if Japan attempted to intrude) Russia is successful no their request and rejoices. Germany and Britain make reaction rolls. Russia next places a Partisan in Oman to frustrate Italy and ends her second turn

      The great Russian Empire has succeeded in expanding its glorious borders. The native Yeti population rejoices. Because spring is appiving the Yetis are entering hibernation. They shall return next weekend       P.S. Screw Canada and the French

U.S.

      U.S, rolls against Japan in order to tryu to have the U.S. able to make the sneak attack this time around. According to russian sources the U.S. used its building phase to produce refridgerrators and razor blades. Mexico and its colony join the U.S. side in the war since they have nothing better to do. America has no more actions cause this was isn't gonna effect her anyway...

China

      A look at all the fruity cereal available in a Democratic supermarket leads to the nationlists evening up the civil war. Since this difference between the two sides needs to be 20 and its now 0 it is gonna be a long war. China can't much else for due to weather its infantry would all attack on 0 this turn.
CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany37370----------------WarWarNeutralNeutralNone
Italy1512+3-----------------WarTensionNeutralNeutralNone
Japan3934+5-----------------NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Britain62620WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
France3029+1WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States3936+3NeutralNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
China1316-3----------War---------------------None
Russia4440+4NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies144143+1
Axis9183+8

Russia

      Russia splits her rolls against the U.S. and Germany attempting to play both sides. Then spends her money on Bryce's facvorite unit, the infantry. At this point Britain commenses dancing to the beat of the Japanese drums. Russia invades Finland as its one of the few countrys that Russia can attack.

      Russia's. infantry performed wonderfully, killing two fins. Take that. It should be noted this is due to the clear weather. Current inf/sfi count 45.

Russia is sexY with a capital Y
Y is for Yeti
l33t Y3ti

Japan

      Must impliment [Asian] co-prosperity sphere. Japan is now in tension with Britian. Japan decides to buy a battleship amoung her purchases. (With some German Influences)

     At this point Gordo enters the war as China

      Japan fails to locate the Chinese transport. Next Japan attempts to take the rest of the Chinese coastline. Kwantung and Kiengsi fall quickly behind the might of the Emperor. Japan captures 4 ipcs and cuts the loan chinese transport off from the rest of China. This transport represents the entire starting and remaining Chinese fleet. U.S. rolls poorly in response to the Japanese assault on China.

     

Germany

      This is the turn that Sweden was influenced to join the Germans and a turn of the biggest naval battle of date but neither of those is important. For it spring of 1940 and as I look at my wrist with its nonexistant watch I realize this is when France is supposed to fall.

      Out of Ruhr Valley, Berlin, Bavaria and elsewhere they came gathering up might and courage as they entered French homelands. There was no fear in there eyes for they were Germans and this is the part of the war that the history books concentrate on. More then a dozen infantry, 13 sfi, fighters, tanks, and Bombers stormed the land which makes really good hot dogs with cheese spread (mouth waters), but has little else in redeeming qualities. A fighter was shot down by an AA gun, but they were not detered and soon the French remaining were few and far between. While infantry were sacrficed, every SFI had used their extra training of not standing in front of loaded guns to remain amoung the count of living. And went the dust settled, the German flagged was raised in the streets of Paris and the children celebrated with latkas and dreidels. (Note: the celebrating items were rewritten in order to be more politically correct and keep the damn Americans out of the war.)

FRANCE FALLS!!!

World Reacts:

Russia

      So I was on the Northern party sub when I heard France fell to the Germans. The moral of the story is, Russia needs to help "liberate" vichy France. My generals tell me Madegascar is left unprotected. I will have to send assistance if the British can not fix this problem.

P.S. Camus is crying, I guess ze Germans won in France.

Japan

      At this point the Japanese take it upon themselves to record the events relating to the invasion of the ill-bred French infidels by our wise allies, the glorious German Reich their many shiny Panzer tanks and big honkin bombers.

      The Japanese weren't paying much attention to the European conflict at this point, it being "way the hell over that way." But we have gleaned enough information from German accounts to put together a good composite of what happened.

      Bascially, the Germans invaded France. Initially, the French put up a good defense, until they realised, to their horror, that they were French, and therefore sucked. Their armies screamed like little girls, and then they got mowed over by many shiny Panzar tanks.

      With cries of "Yatta!", the Germans rounded up and subdued the French people, who, they they found, were easy to identify, being as they spoke French all the time. The Germans started singing, "Is so easy, happy go-oh lucky..." "The germans reveled in their revenge; the french wept in their defeat; and the British gathered up their courage, for now they stood alone. -Stolen Quote! So that's what happened with France. The emperor is pleased with the success of our allies, and the fact that France now sucks more then Italy (yes such a thing is possible) But, as this affects the Greater Asian coprosperity Sphere we're not really all that sure

      And where the hell are the Evas?

Italy

      Ah our allies to the north do well. While the ignorant outsider may think this is due to the might of the First Reich, the German domination is really allowed by the fact that the French are distracted. For France knows and fears that before long all of Africa will be saluting to the Italian flag. Germany took advantage of this and for that we salute them. They may not have our resources but still are proficent at getting things done. The processed blocked off some routes to us as Vichy territories cannot be invaded by the axis. But we will work around this, and in time, when France goes back to the allies, Italy will be their to knock the French and British out once and for all, and claim the war in the name of mighty rejuvinated Roman Empire.

      Oh and Italy DOES NOT SUCK!!!!!!

U.S.

      The Americans at press time are unaware that France has been invaded. They do have some vague idea that France is in fact a country and is probably located in Europe.

      Germany due to their economic dominance and mild luck established a Vichy government in southern France which was still controlled by the French. Those armies became unusuable until the territory was liberated by the allies or Germany declares war on the Vichy. The rest of the French territories are rolled for highlights include Belguim and Syria remaining under control of the free French while Algeria which controlled the only remaining French factory became Vichy. In all Germany's economic interests went up nearly 20 this turn as they acquire all Vichy money.

      Although America remains oblivious to the current World Affairs their is a 3 cent increase in national gas cost average and Germany, being not a large supplier of fuel, seems as good as anyone to blame, so U.S. fires 6 warning shots putting them into tension with the Jewish Nazis.

Italy

      Eva steps on Mussolini causing.. Hold on this is not how I remember history and I will not stand for Russian Revisionism to control the outcome of this war. It all started when Srg Calzono reached the Italian French border of the remaining Ally occupied turf which had come under Vichy control rendering it dorment. The Srg was leading his troops across the border when he got radio that he was not to attack any Vichy French. "But they are French!" he cried "and therefore suck" not coming up with a worthwhile reason to leave them amoungst the living. He was told that the rest of the Vichy now scattered across the world were willing to stay neutral if their fellow Vichy remained unseized. The Srg complained, pointing out the suckyiess of the French (well mostly just said they suck a lot) but finally yielded to his captain. The Srg who's only purpose was to root out suckiness (from a tramatic early childhood experience with lollypops) was left without a mission in life. He put one more bullet through a french bread pizza and then turned the weapon upon himself saying goodbye to this harsh, harsh world.

      In other news a British Cruiser was captured and now sits in the Italian home harbor. Also their was that unfortunate failed conquest in Africa but no press is necessery on that.

Britain

      The Brits think about declaring war upon the Japanese but relent after some fish and chips soothe their appetite and decide instead to turn most of their attention towards saving Sealand. Britain African forces do however have movement invading and taking over Kenya. Their was also an assault on Gilbraltor although the only ones killed in the battle were the British.

France

     

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time! The French roll against the Russians to bring their grand total against them up to 6. (A black eye which will not soon be forgotten) HAHA they failed on their tech rolls, stupid frogs, I hope they choke on funmundu cheese! On a positive note did manage to take Netherlands from an assualt from Belguim. The battle in Brazil involved too much French death to report on as the axis remain in the western hemisphere.

U.S.

      Rolls 2 dice against the Germans and gets a 3 bringing the total to 44 out of a neede 45. So close yet so far perhaps a banjo duel is required. The U.S. now with not much to do stewed preparing for their invasion upon the axis.

      Meanwhile an emergency world summit world leaders discussed how peace can come out of this situation. While nothing weas accomplished on this front the committeee did decide upon the renaming of some regions.

  • Reunion Island= Monkey Island
  • St. George's = Hotdog Island
  • Novaga Island = The land of misfit toys
  • Italy = Stupid Land

      The vote on the last one was 181-1. (Damn so called partners in war)

China

      China has 13 bucks. It buys a factory two battleship, an air craft carrier.... Oh wait Carl was barred from playing. China settles for 6 infantry to protect its remaining land. The Nationlist take the lead in the Civil War while BAKA! Mussilini is stepped on by an Eva in China. These appears to be unrelated events. Also Chiuna thanks to a roll of 6 takes some land back from the Japanese. Way to go Eskimos.

CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany5537+18----------------WarWarTensionNeutralNone
Italy1615+1-----------------WarWarNeutralNeutralNone
Japan4339+4-----------------TensionNeutralNeutralNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Britain6062-2WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
France1430-16WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States39390TensionNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
China1013-3----------War---------------------None
Russia4544+1NeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies123144-21
Axis11491+23

Round 4

Summer 1940

U.S.

      The U.S. declares war on Germany causing more problems at reun.. I mean monkey island. The Americans also kicked the Germans out of Suriname leaving Brazil as the western hempshire's only represenitive to the axis (Perhaps it is time to send Mexico a letter. Yes America your assault on South America has brought us into tension. Go back to being isolationist and neutral or else!)

China

      China with rejuvinated energy under its new leadership and American intervention goes to retake its Sudocapital of China. Due to another roll of 6 16 Chinese infantry storm the Japanese holding easily ousting their oppressor. Thanks to the American's influence they are now a more powerful entities and thus move closer towards communism.

Russia

      The following communication was intercepted by an Italian agent from Stalin to his associates. "Thats right, we took Sudan from the Italians. HA EAT IT! And guess what? It was with a Partisan. Man we rock. Next on the agenda an army of Rei Ayanami clones to assist our conquest."

Scribbled on the back was an even more cryptic message

Why not? 

 
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
<( "<) <( " )> (> ")> <( " )>
Kirby the long lost 19th angel?

Germany

Incoming transmission.....

Yep the Germans liderhosen are a bit tight they bought a carrier
Stuff happened
People died
Sartre says it doesn't matter
Nixon says nothing because he is dead
So is Sartre, but that hasn't stopped him before

      The Germans dumped their own troops on the floor. They also use their ability to place subs anywhere to place a few off the coast of Canada. Norway gives a trounching due to tight liderhousen on the German part. On the bright side the Germans continued their western assault further south taking over Spain with the units which had captured France one season ago along with some reinforcements. (Ha you refuse to join the German cause then you will be conquered) Britain is down to Portugal and Norway as their main land European lands.

      Germany also knocked the French out of mainland Europe taking both the Netherlands and Belguim. The remaining free french will not be taking there home land back anytime soon.

Italy

      That's a spicy meatball. "Artist" rendering of Yeti arm, Yeti Swipe! (do to the difficulty of computer reproduction of bad drawing we can not bring you the actual drawing at this time. Please consult your local war journal provider for assistence or go back to staring at the Kirbys) As seen in Yetiopolis. In Yetipolis there are no road, only ice, which they skate on. Yetis don't have opposite thumbs, which makes them a bit blue. (metaphorically and literally) So sometimes the townspeople mistake them for big hairy blueberrie: This is both horrifying and very funny.

      Meanwhile back in the real world.. well atleast the more relevent fake world Italy got itself a new shiny battleship by air bombing an unprotected one off the coast of Africa. Also the Italian conquered Greece invading from the south causing Bulgaria to join with the axis.

Britain

      Britain began its 4th turn by developing long range aircraft abilities. They air raid France as it is unprotected from that type of strike. (note to self protect France from airstrikes) Britain additionally built some more fighters to take advantage of there new longer range. They liberated some of vichy controlled territory in Africa. They also beefed up some of their pacific territories preparing for a Japanese invasion.

France

      France went but nobody really noticed.

Japan

      Japan split its die rolls coming short of being at war with Britain though did get a 6 against the U.S. They tried to steal the British tech and failed though did get 6 bonzai attacks of which they only used a couple. They bought much infantry to flood the territories of China (like there isn't enough people there already) successfully taking a couple of territories including the one occupied by the U.S. They also sent a huge fleet to take out China's lone transport and failed to find it, again.

CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany6055+5----------------WarWarTensionNeutralNone
Italy16160-----------------WarWarNeutralNeutralNone
Japan4743+4-----------------TensionNeutralNeutralNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Britain6360+3WarWarTension----------------NeutralLong Range Aircraft
France814-6WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States4039+1WarNeutralNeutral----------------NeutralNone
China810-2----------War---------------------None
Russia4645+1TensionNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies119123-4
Axis123114+9

Japan

      Japan splits its war rolls again and declared war on Britain after much in house debate (well in the head of the emperor.. he was tossing and turning)

Japan declares war on Britain

      Attention: The following communique has been sent from our forces inb the west:
"Malaysia, India taken. British Aus/Africa supply chain shot. Awaiting further orders."
Yo, Britain: All YOUR BASE BELONG TO US! HAHAHAHAHA!
Tokyo - Our forces have won victory after glorious victory in the name of our wise Emperor. The Greater Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere has welcomed Szechwan, Tsingsai, Malaysia, Ceylon, the Solomen Islands, and India into its ranks. The Chinese are cowering in fear, and the British dogs are completely cut off from aid

News of our stunning success has enraged the imperialist American infidels, who have declared blood feud upon us. So be it; in addition to our Chinese and British fronts, full mobilization against the American scum will now commense

Onward to California! May the way of the hero lead to the Triforce!

Japan is STILL waiting for its Evas...

Japans turn would of been even more effective but Australia was not invadable due to the harsh never-ending winter. In response to the the given attacks Britain declared immediate war on the Japs. The U.S. was even more enraged calling for super duper instant war against its pacific rival. and quickly rounded up all employees at local Japanese establishments and threw them into nothingness (Well Montana but same diff)

U.S.

      The U.S. now that it is at war with the Japanese can attack them anywhere in the world. It chooses to start in China to the surprise of all. 'Rumble in the Jungle' begins as Americans & Japanese run screaming at each other 6 U.S. infantry allow them to take back part of the Chinese coast and hand it over to the Communists.       Meanwhile on the other side of the world the U.S. sent agents 005, 006, and 008 into the forests of Brazil. While a couple of them were killed in action they led the U.S. to the denizen of the king. (the huge sign that said leader this way was a big help) The remaining spy tried to convince the Brazilian dictator, Getulio Vargas, that it was in his best to join with the allies. After a grueling debate the dictator agreed to join the allies. Seconds later american tanks rolled in destroying the dwelling and all the inhabinants. The U.S, needing to act quickly, institute a puppet government pretending the dictator is still alive and has "changed his mind" The axis are kicked out of Brazil. Monroe knew that if he was given a hundred years to prepare he would be able to succeed in his threat in his famous doctrine.       Two German subs were also shot down off the coast of Canada as the world gasps.. Canada did something.

China

      American flyers drop overhead saying Nationlism good, communism bad. Because they are accompanied by food they are convincing so the nationlists take the lead in the war. China attacks Japan some more rolling 3 and 4 allowing about half their troops to be sent in their deaths. (the rest stay behind.. to their deaths) China succeeds in one locale but in Senyan they are met with fierce opposision. As all hope leaves them they run screaming towards the rear. The next day the local headline goes "The Chinamen went up the mountain and they didn't come down"

Britain

      Britain, now at war with Italy, Germany, and Japan has not much else to do so rolls against Russia. It then prepare sfor war on three continents. If Africa the British seize French West Africa and hand it back to the French. In Asia the British join the Chinese on the top of the mountain, never coming back. Finally in Europe an invasion via fleet, air, and land (through Portugal) allows Spain to return to the hands of the allies

France

      As the Italians commense tilting the Eiffel tower so that it becoming the Leaning Tower of Eiffel, the French make their plans to rebuild their strength. A factory is bought in Syria to allow the French to produce something other then infantry. France gets closer to war with Japan but does not attack anyone this turn.

Russia

      Russia is getting bored so it rolls both of its dice against the Germans. The Germans and Russians begin talks to try to have a similar arrangement as the Japanese and Russians, and have the Commumnists help in the Nazis struggle against the oppressing allied forces. Russia is now in tension with Germany.

Germany

      Germany succeeds where the Japanese failed and develop long range aircraft without even resorting to attempting to copy from the British. The Germans already at war with just about everyone else roll against Russia. They then proceed to walk into Spain and knock that the couple of British guards. The Spaniard complain vigoursly as they are getting confused who their leader is each coming week. Germany also finishes what it started last turn knocking Norway and Landon out of the game. Furthermore Germany searches for a U.S. transport for its sub to attack but fails to locate it. Germany ends it turn by moving forces back east to prepare for Russia, in case peace talks break down over building over battleships or other highly debated topics.

Italy

      Its a war for the ages as troops from Rome enter the streets of Athens to declare a soon to be classic duel. As Scholars studied, artist drew and poets wrote, the soldier from these fearsome armies. Greece tried to stay neutral but Italy was not be fooled as sure enough once they were shot at they fired upon the innocent Italians. But in the end all is right in the world as the Roman Empire expands once more.       Elsewhen in the red sea a British Battleship floated along. Well not anymore. Now a similar vessel resides itself in the Italian harbor. Funny how things work. Ipc counts are adjusted as apparantly some were off.
CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany5460-6----------------WarWarWarTensionLong Range Aircraft
Italy1716+1-----------------WarWarWarTensionNone
Japan5247+5-----------------WarNeutralWarNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Britain6263-1WarWarWar----------------NeutralLong Range Aircraft
France108+2WarWarNeutral----------------NeutralNone
United States4440+4WarTensionWar----------------NeutralNone
China880----------War---------------------None
Russia46460TensionNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies124119+5
Axis1231230

Germany

      Germany rolls two political dice against the Russians becoming within 1 of being at war. (The infidels shall pay for that.) Argentina is influenced by ze Germans as Germany regains its footing in the Western Hempishire. Germany's attack were plentiful starting off the coast of Morocco where Germany failed to find the allied fleet, Elsewhere the axis could not find a fleet off the coast of Canada. Umm the Germans atleast took Iceland.. wait no they didn't stupid winter preventing amphibious assaults. In actual accomplishments the Germans took Portugal destroying two British fighters, and additionally blew up the two British transports off the pennisula's coast. Now Britain must take a transport ride to get back to mainland Europe. Thus blowing up transports sounds like a good plan.

Italy

      Italy likewise rolls against Stalin's forces raising its total to 18 and putting it into tension. Italy attacks French West Africa figuring it is big and thus must be good to have. While a fighter is made casulty the Italians succeed in this venture. Off the coast of French West Africa a navy battle is simulatiously going on. Italy loses a destroyer but converts a British cruiser into an Italian one which more then makes up for it.

Japan

      Japan, already at war with the allies and having a treaty of peace with the Russians, decides it might as well make its distaste of France official and rolls against them. In other political actions, Japan developed rockets but failed to steal the technology of long range air from the British. Japan also rolled for three banzi attacks this turn.       Now that the feud is official Japan quickly gathers in strength and picks out targets that are attainable. First, and most important is what will become known as the first battle of midway in which the largest U.S. fleet suffered great casulity before the lucky few survivors were able to run away and get killed another day. Well maybe they weren't too lucky.. In Paupa the quest was easier the only needed to destroy a lone Chinese transport. Of course this mission failed and the only Chinese vessel was able to escape yet again. Another sea battle was won in the Solomon Sea.       On land the success was almost universal as only Hong Kong was able t remain with its original imperilist leader. Fiji, Vanuatu, Phillipines, and Pakistan all conceded to the might of angry little people. Japan elsewhere charged further into China taking Kiangsi into its grasp.       While the battles were numerous and the casulities many the way of the Emperor has succeeded. Japan has now the greatest IPC production in the world.

Russia

      Russia rolls war rolls against Germany breaking an unsigned treaty. "Still not at war. This is upsetting, as we demand blood for our godless commie society" - Yak

The preceding was a comment by Yaky, the Yak friend of the Russian Yeti's.

      Russia partisans Greece as part of the agreement it has ignored. Elsewhere in the world America is flashed by Britain... Britain gets reward.

Britain

      Britain fails on its tech and does not roll war rolls but does take back Solomun Islands. Well I guess that makes someone happy atleast...

France

      The french develop the ability to make sturdier tanks (+1 def)now if they had any non-vichy tanks that might be useful. France also upgrades its Syrian factory to an upf to prepeare for further endeavors. Like surrendering again.

U.S.

      U.S. rolls 11 against Italy to bring them into tension with the Italians. The U.S. additonally takes French Guinea back from the Germans to really this time control their own hemisphere. Further west the 2nd battle of midway commensed as the U.S. send every plane and ship that could reach to get revenge upon the Japanese. The damage was massive on both sides as the U.S. lost most of its transporting ships and planes but managed to cause the Japanese to retreat back towards their homeland suffering more losses then they thought possible.

China

      Through the massive Ramen available the Chinese see the benefits of Capitailism as the Nationilist increase their lead from 1 to 3. China is able to send one infantry to invade Szechwan.. controlled by 1 Japanese infantry. The two sides fired on each other, and again, and again... and it just goes on like that. Eventually on the fifth try an unidenified masked man puts them out of their misery killing them both and leaving Szechwan unoccupied but still in the control of the Japanese.

      At this point the warring powers (sans Russia, who was gone already) wanted food. Naturally, the world leaders couldn't agree on food. So we went to India for food. Ah, India - another happy, satisfied member of the Greater Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere! Also of note, China (Gordo) couldn't decide what he wanted for food. This makes sense, since China, lacking a capital, can't make decisions for itself.

CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany5754+3----------------WarWarWarTensionLong Range Aircraft
Italy1917+2-----------------WarWarWarTensionNone
Japan5952+7-----------------WarNeutralWarNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Rockets
Britain5662-6WarWarWar----------------NeutralLong Range Aircraft
France810-2WarWarWar----------------NeutralArmor +1 def
United States4144-3WarTensionWar----------------NeutralNone
China68-2----------War---------------------None
Russia4946+3TensionNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies111124-13
Axis135123+12

Round 7

Spring 1941

Russia

      Russia rolls against Germany and now is only 1 away from war. It would of been more, but Russia threatened to send everyonet o the gulaggs if she could not re-roll. As Russia is thus still without an enemy that is all for the Russian turn.

Japan

      Japan continues to roll against the French driving itself into tension. Onne of those little things that can have great effects on the war. Then again it deals with the French and thus it is probably meaningless. After failing on its tech Japan begins expanding its empire. Hong Kong is invaded for a second time and this time it is successful giving Japan a much needed Supply Point. Japan also conquered Bengal to lessen the British influence over southern Asia. Elsewhere the third battle of Midway sea Zone raged on as both sides took hits but nothing was destroyed thanks in part to Japan rolling three sixes. America retreated to regroup before the Japenese could reload their ammo. Also in Guam the Japanese took out a smaller American fleet and then took control of the land as well.

Japan

      While the people of Midway were enjoying their monthly fireworks in China the Japanese were undergoing their most important mission of the round. Scores of Bonzeing infantry stormed the rebuilt Chinese stronghold and took them down with a roar of bullets giving the Japanese bad karma for the next 4000 years or so give or take. China laid scattered and will have to resort to a shadow factory once again. Further south Japan was preparing for another major offensive a few months down the line. They took Gilbert , Pheonix, and West Australia as a preview as to what will happen to the rest of Austronisian nations.

Britain

      England fails on its tech and figures its at war with enough entities so after buying units she quickly goes on to her attacks. In the New Foundland sea zone the British rage heavy fire against.. The British. Hmm apparantly they failed to locate the German sub. In the Italian harbor the Brits are more successful finding and destroying an Italian ship. Britain also successed in taking Aden and Vanuato confiriming the royal family's dominace over things that no one else has heard of.

France

      Russia hates France, but only in a platonic way.

      France sees it has no capital and thus no place to get conquered. To expunge this problem the factory in Syria is upgraded to be the new French capital. This also gives France the ability to sabatoge units on the French original territory once again.

U.S.

      U.S. rolls against the Italians after the president was subjected to food imported from Italy and it didn't taste anything like the Olive Garden. The U.S. is now ten away from war with the Italians. The U.S. fails on its tech attempt but succeeds in getting 7 extra moves. America used this advantage to attack Midway.. again. America and Japan knocked each other carriers and battleships over but did not actually destroy anything. Japan promply retreated away to prepare for the next battle of Midway. The U.S. also take back Argentina from the Germans shouting this is our hempisphere damn it stop influenceing it. You may think hempisphere is a typo but in fact it just got coined into a word. Hempisphere: German occupation of South America or a Marijana tumbleweed. Before the dictionary gets even more screwed up I shall close this American report.

China

      China buys well infantry and then makes a second attempt upon Szechwan. With the power of the India Cafe knife behind it China succeeds in taking Szechman. Chinamen give a wide variety of reasons why they were successful including Stamina, Courage and Determination but most experts credit it to Szechwan being empty. China also takes back Kwangsi to give their indiginous tribes more room to rome.

Germany

      Germany rolls the needed amount to declare hostilities towards the Russians allowing them to enter into armed conflict with their treaty partner. The German war department quickly worked on a propaganda campaign to convince the Hitler Youth to help in the crusade against Russia. And thus Srg Kraut, based on Duffy the Merman, was born winning a close vote over a Bobcat.

      The figure however failed to excite the German Army enough to take over the Baltic States and to kick that Russian looking dude out of Greece. A sea battle in the Baltic Sea was also successful but German subs had to retreat from a battle off the U.S. coast. The Germans also are reporting that the creater of Srg Kraut died of an apparant heart attack.

      Russia is now at war with Germany thanks to reaction rolls. They shall have their butts whooped by the forces of good.

Italy

      While the rest of the world thought the former head of the German Ministry and creater of Srg Kraut was gone but the Italian public affairs office knew better. He was working on his newest axis war creation: the stupid speg Yeti. Italy paid the cost of the difference between their war total against Russia and what was needed to declare war against the Russians so they could join in with their German allies. Then after buying things and failing on tech the Italains went to work. They invaded Syria with an sfi, an infantry and all planes that were within range. With shouts of Stupid Speg Yeti the Italians marched into Syria, the current French stronghold.. well less weakhold. The French had prepared for the Italian assault spending long ours readying themselves for the inneviable moment. So as Italians marched into the capital with planes swirling overhead, the French minister already had the surrender paper drawn up. After a representing Italian signed the dotted line Syria was once more under a fascist command. All worship stupid speg Yeti.
CountryIPCs Last Round IPCsDiffGermanyItalyJapanBritainFranceUnited StatesRussiaTechnologies
Germany6357+6----------------WarWarWarWarLong Range Aircraft
Italy2119+2-----------------WarWarWarWarNone
Japan6259+3-----------------WarTensionWarNeutralAircraft carriers 2 hit to kill/ + 1 load factor
Rockets
Britain5556-1WarWarWar----------------NeutralLong Range Aircraft
France68-2WarWarWar----------------NeutralArmor +1 def
United States41410WarWarWar----------------NeutralNone
China76+1----------War---------------------None
Russia4549-4WarNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutralNeutral-----None
Allies109111-2
Axis146135+11

Britain

      Mi-6 agents discover how to build Fighters and Bombers with even more range then they had previouly with the inserts already added. The second level technology allows them to travel seven and nines zones respectively. With this new ability the British planes travel 1 zone in order to join the British navy in confronting the northern of the two main Italian fleets. The planes circle above and the ships scatter below, but neither could find the MASSIVE Italian collection of boats so they retreat back to British home-waters. Britain also attacks Morocco in order to stop the Italians from being able to use the canal in order to resupply their two major fleets if they participate in battle. (like if people can find massive fleets) Morcco falls to the British soldiers in Africa and is returned to the French trapping the Italians vessels still in the Mederrain to be cutoff from their comrades.

      Britain had more attack this turn invading Syria. Saudia Arabia and neighboring territories sent infantry, and planes to try to regain the French substitute capital. The infantry fought with incredible passion, considering the land would revert to the French if they succeeded, and rolled 3 1's ousting the Italians after short stay in power and giving the France yet another opportunity to work on their surrendering.

France

      The French regained their capital, their ability to roll for tech, the right to sabatage, and more ipc points from other territories regained by the British for them so its up to them to take advantage. They search for a transport off the coast of South America. They don't find it. And thus another turn in the adventures of the army of France.. atleast they didn't lose any territory during their turn. (note: this is not possible by even fools but the French have been known to test the limits of foolproofness even it would require impossible actions to take place)

Russia

      Russia, now at war with Germany, chooses not to roll against the Japnese leaving the their alliance intact. Russia also gets to do a tech roll for the first time and fails. More importantly Russia gets to use all of her money for the first time and promply buys lots of infantry and a couple sfis.       Russia first offenses into occupied territories are in the Baltic States, Greece, Poland and Sweden. The Baltic States not being well defended quickly fall under the might of the incoming communists. Greece and Sweden are better supplied and have terrain which is harder to take but it still was not enough for the Germans as the troops from Turkey and Finland take them respectively.       While the German troops in Poland watch as their enemy is coming from the north and the south they fail to pay attention to the direct onslaught. Poland was the most defended German territory but still not hold the Russians back. The Russians took Poland and now stand on the border of Berlin. They also took ten ipcs this round the highest growth on a turn since the Germans took France. The prisoners in German camps celebrate for ten seconds until they begin slave work for the Russians. Bryce runs off and is not present for the remainder of this round.

Japan

      The Japanese emperor wakes up to a call from the Germans insisting that Japan join Germany and Italy to fend off Russia and be on the side of good. The emperor who was kind of partial towards evil for it still represented a kami if was spectacular enough. Plus Germany insisted on letting Italy in the war which did not enthused. Not too mention that the emperor was woken up in the midst of the night because Germans do not understand the concept of timezones. After some tense negociations the Germans and Japanese reached a pact of sorts. A lot of it went above the head of the German negociator like not having any idea what promising the third child meant. Japan agreed to roll against Russia in order to get closer to tension just in case Germany got into more dire trouble.       So Japan rolled and hoped to get near 10 but over in order to avoid tension for now. Naturally Japan got an 11 putting her at exactly half the total to be at war (20 of 40) The propagana worked too well as the Japanese and Russians stopped sharing their wealth. The emperor cursed to his ancestors, the Germans celebrated, the russians prepared and America ordered an investigation into what happened to that guy who used to call the president claiming he was leader of some land named France.

      After the setback Japan went back to what it does best.. killing Chinese. Japan swarmed the China mainland taking Kweichow without a fight. Kwangsi and Szechwan fall upon the might of Bonzei attacks while Suiyuan and Sinkiang are taken without them. Japan, in a moment of kindness, let a monk in Tibet live. He is all that remains in China to fight off the Japanese.

In other events Japan retakes Solomon from the British. Japan also destroys a U.S. transport which was engaging in a heinous act of war, attempting to feed the rebels. Not quite sure which rebels, but the mass of edibles meant they were up to no good. Japan ends it turn in preparation of knocking the Chinese off the planet for good.

Passover Island added to the map

5/6       Kenny has his best session of rolling getting a long series of 1's and 2's. Unfortunality we weren't warring tonight.

Quotes

"Damn you to hell for invading the United States through Texas"
Julie to Anti-Joel (last words as psi phi president)

"Italy Sucks"
General Consensus opinion

"I got a pen, I got paper, this is so exciting"
Kenny (right before war commensed)

"Was that the sound of screaming Brazilians?"
Voice from above (Gordo)

"Give man a fire, he will be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."
Bryce

"When China gets big enough to gang bang things, the world hurts"
Anti-Joel (response to China regaining territory of Japan)

"An American spy in Paris. A classic love story brought to you by WWII and the letter E'"
Gordo/Landon

"Choose your dice - but choose carefully. Otherwise, we rip off your nuts and use those"
Anti-Joel's friendly advice to Gordo when he didn't know which dice to use."

"Gentlemen there is no fighting in here. This is the war room"
Dr. Strangelove

"Stop advising your allies"
Anti-Joel to me

"BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM...AAUUGH!!!... (plop)"
Kenny's reenactment of the China-Japan Szechwan battle with a knife and fork at India Cafe (These utensils were chosen for "there is no spoon")

"Funny enough the new Soviet revisionist is actually playing Russia!"
Anti-Joel, on Bryce

"Damn you Transports!"
Kenny, after Anti-Joel rolled 2 ones

"Don't get killed by the tornado"
Bryce to Lyz going away from the safe haven of the war room while tornado alarms were going off

"We saved your a$$ in 1918. We will destroy it in 1950"
Anti-Joel to Anti-Joel

"I need a fuzzy hat"
Landon's requirement for starting his first Russian turn. A teddy bear was used.

All sfi are henceforth referred to as yetis
Landon's first decree as co-premiere of Russia

"We will pour boiling soup on you and you will die"
Elizabeth's first decree as co-premiere of Russia