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So, you may be wondering, "What is the axis of evil of which I speak?" Well, as everyone knows, I am the epidemy of good. With that heavy burden comes having to confront those who possess evil. To better organize my enemies, (hey, its hard to keep track) I created an axis of evil for them. Kristen and Elizabeth were the first two members of this group based are their obvious evilness. (Check out their personal pages for more information.) They had performed many fowl deeds including attacking people with cuteness, a truly vile act, they attacked by holding themselves and/or others and smiling around them while making high pitched squeely sounds in unison. They did other awful things but I won't print them here as this is a family web-site.

Well, two members were set, but axises work in trifectas, not duos. So, I searched a while. Until, one day, Kenny stumbled upon the answer searching the world for my name through the magic of google, and found the devil's hideout. There is another Joel Fried who attends Brandeis. (I never did like that place.) He is active as treasurer on their chess team which has a website . This is perfectly acceptable. He has some similarities to me, such as being a jew.

"I just don't get along with bishops." --Joel Fried
"I'm not surprised, you're Jewish!" --Steven Winer

The problem comes when elsewhere he declares he is the best Joel Fried in the country. I being both a Joel Fried and in this country take immediate offense and give him the sacred third slot. There you have it. Two of the members I see constantly, and the other does not know I exist. (It works better that way, I can plan in secret against him.)

As a side note, other axes are in the making. So far, there is an axis of neutrality and one of Ryans who want to kill other Ryans in the same axis. Someday I hope to be part of an axis of good. For more info on world axes, read the rest of this page.

"Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them."

John Cleese is the source I got on this. No guarantees to its accuracy