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Scene 4

(During the song the puppet stage is struck and UNCLE FESTER has returned, placing a large candle on the altar. He has two smaller candles already lit waiting nearby)

When two people fall in love, they become the light in one another’s darkness, creating a pyre of passion and joy and glorious expectations. Stephanie and Jonathan, I'd like you to remember when it was in your relationship that you first realized you were truly in love and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Maybe it was standing on the observatory floor of the Sears Tower in Chicago on Christmas Eve, with the snow flurrying down into the lights of the city as you embraced in the dizzying height and looked into each others eyes and Jonathan’s Mom interrupted with her loving comment “Get a room, you two”; or maybe it was on that cold and bitter Sunday morning when the van broke down along the Tennessee/Kentucky border and you rolled into a rest-stop while pieces of the engine dropped off the van and littered the highway behind you; or maybe it was the first time you saw each other naked. Love is a strange thing, and strange things happen to strange people. Remember that moment and keep it in your thoughts.

(UNCLE FESTER hands one of the small candles to the GROOM)

Jonathan, take this candle, symbol of the inner light in Stephanie, and don’t pour the wax onto your face and don’t drop the candle onto your head, with the dedication to rekindle her inner light again and again, whenever necessary.

(UNCLE FESTER hands one of the small candles to the BRIDE)

Stephanie, take this candle, symbol of the inner light in Jonathan, with the dedication to rekindle it again and again, whenever necessary.

(He stands behind the large candle on the altar)

This candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. It's fire is magical because it represents the light of two people in love and the fiery passion of marriage and the smoldering flames of wedded bliss and the crash and burn of forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame and you two should be committed. his candle is also a candle of Unity because both must come together, giving a spark of themselves, to create the new light, like Victor Frankenstein waiting for the lightning to strike the kite that would spark his monster into life. A marriage is like Frankenstein’s monster: inarticulate, confused and afraid of fire. As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and safety in the cold; and strength and happiness in your bodies, minds, and spirits. And barbecues in the summer. Call me for the barbecues. In your marriage, you will try to bring these lights, the symbols of yourselves, closer and closer to each other, until they become one great torch of light; a symbol of love; a pyre of passion; and a smoking, burning safety hazard.

(He helps them light the large candle simultaneously)

In the dead of night, two lives become one. Yet, it is vitally important to remember that there are always two in a marriage, each with his or her own desires, yearnings, dreams and wishes. These dreams must be respected and responded to with great love, with great compassion and with genuine tenderness even if they’re stupid dreams, like hoping to be recruited by the Jedi academy and trained in the ways of the Force.

(He separates them so that now all three candles are lit. UNCLE FESTER takes a marshmallow and puts it on a stick, handing it to PAUL)

Paul, take this marshmallow on a stick, symbol of the sweet sustenance you seek from your parents. Heat the marshmallow in the warmth of the candle flame; let it ignite and cook until it has a gooey center and a slightly crunchy outer shell. Now eat the marshmallow and as you eat it remember the warmth and comfort and guidance your parents give you and know that all the love they have for one another is represented inside you and you are the embodiment of their love.

(PAUL eats the marshmallow)

Now cook a marshmallow for me while everyone else sings a hymn. Please open your hymn books to song #2 and sing, dammit, sing like you’re in the shower and nobody is listening while you pretend to audition for American Idol, even though most of you are way too old to qualify!!

(SONG #3 – “A Fool In Love” by Randy Newman)

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