You Can Never Go Back

Author: Sunnycouger (foolofatook_@hotmail.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: You all don't honestly think that I own any of this do you? Roswell and all its characters are property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims..I just take them out to play sometimes...

Category: CC

Summary: This is a future fic when the aliens get a chance to go “home” and the story follows each of their reactions to the news and their final decision.

Authors Notes: Follow up to When It's Time To Leave Home and The War.

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Bridges Chapter 8

It was late afternoon and the door to the Whitman's house was lying open as a family got into a car.

“Thanks for this Alex. I’m sorry we couldn’t stay any longer but my parents are expecting us soon and we don’t want to do anything that will cause more...tension. Will you let Isabel know when she gets home? I don’t know where she’s gotten to, she said she would be back. Oh, I called Maria earlier and she said that if I survive tonight that we’re definitely on for tomorrow.”

“ ‘If’ being the appropriate word there. Izzy probably just lost track of time. No doubt she’ll arrive just after you guys leave so don’t worry about it Liz, you guys have got it hard enough already. Good luck tonight guys. Max? You need anything just give me a call ok?”

Max looked at the man standing outside the car looking at him. Alex had never changed since he knew him no matter what he would look out for his friends, even if he sometimes did take a perverse pleasure in seeing him squirm with the Parker’s. He smiled appreciatively at him as he replied.

“I’m sure it will be fine...thanks. We’ll see you later. Say goodbye to Alex and Phil kids...”

With that a chorus of goodbye was heard from the rear seat as Phil waved from beside his father at the retreating form of his two new friends. Alex looked down at his son.

“Well, Phil my man. It looks like it will just be me and you after we drop your sister of at Janey’s house. What do you want to do till your mom gets home? Watch the ball game? Learn to play the guitar? Oh I know...we could do all your homework what do you say?”

Alex tried to keep a straight face as his son went from contemplative to disgusted in the space of a few short seconds. At the sight of his son’s stuck out tongue he quickly lifted him up onto his shoulders.

“Ok kiddo, we’ll do something a little less icky ok? But don’t tell your mom.”

With that he walked in the house with the giggling 4 year old laughing as he called his daughter.

Max and Liz arrived at the Crashdown a little after 6.30. The cafe was already closed up and they stood outside it awkwardly, afraid of what would happen once they stepped in the doors. Alex was standing shyly behind his mom and Mari was up in her daddy’s arms. The two children were trying to keep as close to their parents as humanly possible...they weren’t used to being out on the street with cars and people around them. It was scary and Max realized that they had rushed this...they weren’t really ready to be inaugurated into society already. Even if it was only their grandparents that was there. He looked at Liz who bit her lip as she looked at the door. She didn’t seem to want to walk in...realising that there wasn’t anywhere they could run to once they stepped inside. He put his free hand on her shoulder and walked forward. The door opened and they walked in to see Nancy Parker looking expectantly at it. She smiled as she saw the 2 children and as she walked slowly forward she called her husband from the back. Jeff came out and joined his wife and the two of them stood silently in front of the family that had just walked in. Mari and Alex cuddled closer to their parents and Liz looked nervously from her children to her parents. Max took a step forward and stuck his hand out in front of Jeff in a bid to break the awkwardness, and hopefully to let Liz see that there was nothing to be worried about.

“Hello Jeff.”

Jeff looked at his son in law and smiled slightly as he shook his hand.

“Max.”

With that Max bent his head down to look at the little girl cuddled tightly into his chest. He talked gently to her as Liz looked fearfully at the situation.

“Mari? You wanna be the first person to say hi to your grandma and granddad? I bet you didn’t know this but your mom used to live just upstairs when she was a little girl.”

Mari lifted her head and looked at her daddy who was smiling at her. She turned her head and smiled shyly at her grandparents who were looking on.

“Hi grandma. Hi granddad.”

With that she stuck out her hand expectantly, imitating her fathers greeting moments earlier.

Jeff smiled genuinely as he shook her hand gently and greeted her warmly. Nancy looked on at the beautiful little girl with tears in her eyes. She had already fallen in love with her granddaughter who looked exactly like her mother had years earlier. She went up and shook the little girls hand before turning her attention to the little boy standing behind his mother.

“Hello Alex. How are you?”

Alex’s reply was to cower more behind his moms legs. Liz looked at her little boy, he wasn’t used to strangers. He had always been the shyer of the two children and now she could see the fear in his young face. He wasn’t used to so many things that had happened recently. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do so he hid. Liz looked at her mom and smiled as she spoke.

“I’m sorry...he just isn’t used to strangers.”

As she said the word she immediately regretted it, Max looked at her suddenly...begging her to realize what she had said and to take it back before her parents were hurt by it.

“When I say strangers...I, I mean, people he doesn’t know. He’s a...a really shy kid. That's what I meant not...”

“You don’t have to explain Liz, I know what you mean. And, as much as its painful to hear...we are strangers to him. Maybe if you told him who we were and that we aren’t going to hurt him? Maybe he would be a little more...open?”

Nancy’s voice was full of understanding and nervousness. She didn’t care that these 2 children had lived without knowing her and her husband for 4 years, she didn’t care that relations with her daughter were tenser than usual. She only cared about making a fresh start. She looked hopefully at Liz who was looking at her. As the 2 women looked at each other for a second Max and Jeff looked on apprehensively. Liz looked at her husband before she turned around to see her son.

“Hey there Alex. Why are you hiding behind there? You know mommy would never let anything happen to you or your sister, so you don’t need to be scared. Do you not want to come out and say hello to your grandma and granddad like Mari did? I promise you that it will be ok...c’mon baby...”

With that she guided the little boy out in front of her and he looked up at the 2 strangers. He then looked at his sister who was smiling happily at him as she walked over towards him and took his hand. Once she was safely by his side his confidence grew and he quietly spoke to his grandparents.

“Hello grandma...granddad. My name is...Alex...it’s...it’s nice to meet you.”

Jeff walked towards his wife an they both looked down at the two youngsters. The boy standing in front of the girl in an attempt to protect her from anything the world would throw at them. In a strange way it reminded them of the relationship between their daughter and her future husband when they were growing up. Max who was otherwise shy was always protective of their daughter...he always faced whatever trouble they were in first. Be it because they had stayed out overnight in the desert, or because they cut classes in school, he tried to take the worst of the anger. In that way Liz had been lucky. Now looking at the two dark haired children in front of them it was clear who had taken what of their parents personality attributes.

Max walked over to stand beside Liz and take her hand in his own. As Jeff and Nancy began to talk to the children Max and Liz exchanged relieved smiles...so far so good.

Isabel had been walking, reliving the past few hours over and over again. She had left her car a few streets away from Maria’s house. She had to stop driving, it had become too hard to see through her misted vision. His cold eyes still bore into her heart as she tried to remember how things had gotten so bad. Her tears had thankfully stopped falling but she knew that it wouldn’t take much to start them up again. He didn’t even give her a chance. He was so ready to blame and condemn her...and she had risen to the challenge. She had gave him an excuse. She looked at her house, the blackness told her that no one was home. Max and Liz would have left to go to her parents and Alex would have taken Diane to her friends house and probably would have treated Phil to an ice-cream or something. She would be alone when she got in. As she opened the door to the house she saw the note stuck to it.

Izzy.
Just letting you know that I’ve dropped Diane off and I’m taking Phil for a...a little “guy time”, just seeing how he’s handling things...you know? Anyway, I won’t be long, I’ll be home about 8pm so I’ll see you then.

Love you.

Alex.

Isabel looked at her watch, it was only 7.15pm, he wouldn’t be home for nearly an hour. He would be able to make her feel better but he wasn’t here. She was alone. She closed her eyes and wished that she had listened to Alex, why did she go and see Michael even when he told her not to go alone? Why did she always think she could handle it on her own? Why did she hurt so badly? She hadn’t done anything wrong! As she felt the tears start again she ran to the kitchen and opened the door letting the cool air wash over her. As she took deep, calming breaths of fresh air she went to the sink and ran the cold water until it was freezing. She ducked her hands under the tap and scooped up the water and splashed it on her face. The freezing water caused her to shiver involuntarily so she did it again and again until the need to cry subsided. As she stood up she grabbed a towel and dried of her face. She then walked over and sunk down at the nearest chair and she silently vowed to herself that she would forget about him. She would forget everything he had said to her. She would forget his cold eyes. She would not remember the pain of him ignoring her. She would not let him make her cry again.

With that she sat upright determined to forget all about Michael Guerin, her brother. The man she had known since she was 6. The man she had cried over every night when her and Max had been adopted. The man she thought would always be there for her. The man she needed to forgive her. As she sat she saw the tears fall on the table she put a hand to her face to wipe them away but she stopped as she realized that it wouldn’t do any good...she had to cry so she could let him go.

Alex hadn’t gotten far in his trip with his son, they had went for ice-cream after they dropped Diane of and Alex intended to take him to the park to play for a while. But somewhere between the ice-cream and the park his son had fallen fast asleep in the back-seat of the car. So he turned the car homewards and mentally reminded himself to thank Max and Liz for having such energetic children. It usually took hours to get Phil to settle yet here he was sound asleep. He pulled into the driveway and looked worried. Isabel’s car wasn’t there yet. He quickly looked at his watch before he opened the door to get out, 7.40? He quickly got out the door and gently lifted his son from the back-seat, careful not to wake him up. He walked quickly to the house and seeing that his note was gone he quietly called out.

“Isabel? Are you home?”

Hearing no reply, but seeing his wife's bag he quickly took his son upstairs and put him in bed. After removing his shoes he covered him gently with a blanket and then ran back downstairs.

“Isabel? Are you ok?”

He walked into the kitchen and saw her sitting at the table. Although she was no longer crying...her eyes were blotchy and her face was tearstained. She nodded her head feebly as she tried to steady her voice before she spoke. Alex’s eyes widened as he saw her and he immediately ran over beside her, panicking about what must have happened to get his wife in such a state.

“Isabel? What’s wrong? What happened...nothing’s wrong with Diane or Maria?...”

She shook her head at him as she smiled weakly at him. She had promised him and now he would know that she had done it.

“They’re fine Alex. I...I um, I went to see him today. I went to see Michael.”

“Michael? You went to see him? Wow...It clearly went well then...”

He stood up and walked away from her, deliberately avoiding her hurt gaze. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. She had promised him. She had said that she would wait and she hadn’t. He turned and looked at her, she was clearly in pain. He took another deep breath as he tried to calm himself down...he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tightly until her pain subsided, he wanted to scream at her about not listening to him. But mostly he wanted to kill Michael Guerin. He took another deep breath before finally speaking.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened or did it happen exactly how we imagined it the other night there when we agreed that we would go see him together?”

She looked at his hurt eyes. He was angry at her yes, but mainly he was hurt that she hadn’t waited on him. He was hurt that she had lied to him. He was hurt because she was hurt.

“Alex...I’m so sorry. I know we agreed but...”

“But nothing Isabel! We agreed. We sat out on the front step and we agreed. You chose to go on your own because you thought I wouldn’t be of any help. You chose to go on your own because you didn’t want me there. You chose to go on your own because you think that I would be interfering. I don’t see what you have to explain to me. Anything alien related you deal with on your own, it’s always been like that!”

“No...It’s not because of that Alex I swear! You were right when you told me to wait for you. I just...I just thought I could get through to him if it was just the two of us...I thought he’d think we were being confrontational if we did it as a couple. Alex...I swear, I did not and never have cut you off because I didn’t want you there. I just...I just thought it would be easier...”

“Easier? Dammit Isabel...you know what he’s been like...”

He walked back over in front of her and dropped to one knee as he softened his voice.

“I shouldn’t have lost my temper at you, I just hate seeing you so upset. Tell me what happened? Why are you so upset? What did he say to you Isabel?”

She looked up at him, her tearstained eyes opposite his turbulent ones. She could almost see the inner turmoil playing out in his head. She began to recount the whole experience of her confrontation with Michael to him through her tears. He watched her expressionless as she spoke. He gently rubbed her hands and comforted her gently as she finished recounting the 5 minute conversation that had broken her heart. As she finished, he took her in his arms and hugged her tightly before pulling back and kissing her gently.

“Isabel? You are not Vilandra. You are nothing like her, you will never be like her. I love you and I could never love someone like Vilandra.”

He made her look at him as he spoke passionately, clearly trying to keep his anger in check.

“I love you Isabel Whitman, and I will not allow you to be hurt like this. Michael...Michael...he will apologize to you.”

With that he stood up and walked out the kitchen. He grabbed his car keys and headed out the door. Isabel stood suddenly as she realized what he was going to do and tried to run after him. She looked on in dismay as he started the engine and called after him.

“Alex! Alex! Please come back...you don’t need to do this. I can deal with this...please come back! You don’t know what he’ll do...please...”

She closed her eyes as his car disappeared from view. She had never seen him so angry...she didn’t know what to do. Should she call Maria and tell her that Alex was coming over? Should she call Tess over so that she could ask her advice? She walked in the house clearly drained from the events as she heard a small voice call her from upstairs. Phil had woken up.

“I’m coming baby, don’t worry. Mommy’s here. Mommy’s not going anywhere...she’ll always be here for you.”

She took a quick glance at the phone before she climbed the stairs to reach her son’s room. She stretched her hand towards the receiver and let it hover above it before pulling it away sharply. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to rile Michael up before Alex even got there. With that she walked up the stairs and began comforting her son, trying to forget about everything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

TBC

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