A Letter To Alex...From Jim

Author: Sunnycouger (foolofatook_@hotmail.com)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: You all don't honestly think that I own any of this do you? Roswell and all its characters are property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims..I just take them out to play sometimes...

Category: Angst

Summary: Come on, it's pretty self explanatory isn't it? Set after Alex's death but AU (since they were written before the episode aired ;)).

Authors Notes: This whole series became AU after the writers screwed up and did what they did with Tess so you will see things mentioned that didn't happen in the show ie, Tess and Max aren't together, Tess didn't kill Alex yada yada yada. You'll see when you read anyway.

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Hi Alex,
How are you doing? Well, I've got to say that this is the last letter I ever thought I'd have to write. At least at this point in time. I mean, you’re the same age as my son. It's inconceivable that things like that happen at your age. You all have barely experienced life to the fullest at your age…you should be enjoying it with your friends…it shouldn’t be shortened because of circumstances beyond your control. Of course, technically there have already been two deaths out of your class. Kyle and Liz died...but they got to live again. And you? I don't know about that...maybe you're something that I'll never find out about. It just feels a bit strange to think of you all being mortal. I mean you all saved a planet for God sake.

It doesn't matter now.

… Well as I was saying, this is a strange letter to write. It's just I need to explain something and I figure this might be the only way you'll hear me say what I need to say. I know that sounds an awfully selfish reason but...humour me ok?

Well, I'm sorry Alex. I'm sorry I didn't do more for you. I just always thought that you needed less protection and guidance. You were well balanced, brave, confident and smart...you knew what was going on. It's not that I thought less of you, I just thought you had a better handle on the "alien" thing than the other humans. Maybe it's because you treated them as humans first and aliens second that I thought that.

That sounds crazy I know but I know that Kyle sees Max, Michael and Isabel as dangerous, even though he cares about Tess. And I know that Liz is still worried about the "alien" destinies that they have...the same way that Maria is worried that Michael will vanish on a “space-ship” one night...they see the alien problems when they look at them. You didn't did you? When you punched Michael, you didn't care he could kill you with his powers. You cared that he was the boy that had hurt your best friend. The same with Isabel. She hurt you lots of times because of her “alien” problems yet you always tried to be there for her, despite everything, because you saw her, first and fore most, as a scared girl. You would willingly risk your own life to protect them all and I think they respected you for that…I know I respected you for that.

That’s why this has been so hard for all of us...

I can’t help but feel that I should have been able to do more for you. Even though deep down I know it was an accident I still have this nagging feeling that it was preventable. The truth is I didn’t think you were going to be the one that would leave first.

Didn’t turn out that way, did it?

Can I ask you a question Alex? What was going on with you before April 30th? Why were your grades slipping? Why is Liz so determined that you left her a clue as to what went on? Why, if it’s true, didn’t you leave it for me? Maybe you thought that I wouldn’t be interested because it was you and not one of the others? If that was the case Mr Whitman you were very wrong…even though I didn’t give you as much attention as you deserved. The truth is that I never thought that much about you until you weren’t here…and I can’t explain how ashamed I am of that. Its not that I didn’t care…I just believed the others were more at risk…and for that I will never be able to apologise enough to you or to the others. I’ll watch them all more closely now. Humans or aliens…they’re all still kids under my care. I’ll do better next time.

I’ve actually been lucky though…Amy has been great. She really felt it when it happened, and I know that she is still hurting. Apparently you and Maria had been friends for years and you were always spending time at her house or at the Crashdown with Liz. I think she saw you as a surrogate son and if she didn’t have to be as strong for Maria, Liz and I guess even Tess…she would have took it a lot harder. I’ve been really surprised at how Tess reacted…I didn’t know you were that close. I didn’t know she was that close to anyone other than Max and Kyle; and I know it hasn’t been easy for her now that Max and Liz are back together. At least she has me and Kyle…she’s finally got the family she always deserved. Even though we aren’t the best we both love her. I was actually worried about her and Kyle…I thought something was developing there, now they seem to be going for the “sibling” relationship. Thank god is all I can say! I don’t need raging teenage hormones flowing in my house- especially if they are also alien teenage hormones.

Well…I guess I better go Alex, I promised Kyle and Tess that I’d take them out tonight to try and cheer them up. I have no idea where we’re going but the pair of them have been giggling all day so wherever we are going I can assume they will be teaming up on me. I’m sure I heard paint-ball mentioned…which can’t be good.

Well, I’ll see you soon Alex. Look after yourself till we see you again ok? I’ll handle things down here…and I’ll look after them all for you. Things will get better, I promise. I promise you all. We can get through this together.

Goodbye.

From

Sheriff Jim Valenti

P.S. We all miss you…things haven’t been the same for any of us. Just wanted to let you know that… Bye

End