When It's Time To Leave Home

Author: Sunnycouger (foolofatook_@hotmail.com)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: You all don't honestly think that I own any of this do you? Roswell and all its characters are property of Melinda Metz and Jason Katims..I just take them out to play sometimes...

Category: CC

Summary: This is a future fic when the aliens get a chance to go “home” and the story follows each of their reactions to the news and their final decision.

Authors Notes: This is the introduction to a story arc that involves all the characters. Basically parts 1,2,3 and 4 all run concurrent with each other with the intro and the epilogue starting and finishing things nicely. The parts can stand alone but will work better if you at least read the intro first.

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Chapter 4: Don't Say You Love Me

Time: 21.25

He meant to open the car door and get out. He wanted to go in the house and take her in his arms and drive off with her someplace far away from Roswell, New Mexico. He nearly got out the car to go and tell her everything that had happened and was going to happen in the next 24 hours and then take her in his arms and tell her not to worry..that he would fix things. Instead..Michael Guerin did what he always did when things got hard emotionally. He ran. He started the car engine and took a quick look at the door before driving off down the road. He couldn't deal with this just now; he needed to think about things, what he was going to do. He needed to be alone so that he could think. He needed to be far away from anything that made him want to stay here..he needed to be away from the one thing that mattered more than the world to him...he needed to be away from her...

Maria Guerin had thought she had heard the car. He was supposed to pick her up from work at the school and hadn't showed so even though she was really mad at him she was also a little worried. Michael done a lot of stupid things but he would never have left her stranded unless there was something wrong. She opened the front door, ready to let rip at him when she seen the car drive off down the road. He had gone away again? As she stood there watching it disappear she began to wonder what was going on. Why would he just drive away without coming in the house? Then her lips began to smile and she let out a soft laugh. “Why Michael Guerin..you aren’t trying to butter me up with a surprise take-away meal or cinema tickets are you?” She smiled fully. This was typical Michael and it wouldn’t be the first time that he would come home and have to face the “wrath of Maria”. When he knew that he was going to get a stroppy wife when he went home he always done something to make it that little bit harder for her to be angry at him. He would turn rocks into little glass figures, do a quick sketch in the car and give it to her when he got in, or he would take home food and a “chick-flick” for them to watch together. It was a sort of penance for him to try and remind him not to screw her about..and the thing that Maria loved most is that he always done it off his own bat. She never gave him any ideas and she always loved them all. She smiled happily as she walked in the door and silently asked herself how easy should she let the apology be? He’ll be back soon she thought and she began to skip to the bedroom to get changed.

He had driven for a while before he stopped the car. It was obvious he would end up here. In the desert, at the reservoir. It was like home to him. He walks up and down the sandy earth throwing rocks at the car that is parked 100 yards away knowing that he won’t hit it…it just helps to have a target. The reservoir…they had all spent so much time here over the years. It was one of the few places where he felt completely relaxed and safe. There was home, the Evans’, the Whitman’s and the Valenti residences and here. “And anywhere that Maria is don’t forget.” He silently added. How could he tell her? How could he hurt her again? He let out a loud scream at the sky as he felt the energy build in him. He directed the pulses through his hands and directed the energy at a group of rocks that instantaneously turned to dust.
“Nice Michael, at least you had a practice shot before you do it to her…break her heart to pieces..turn it to dust.” He walked over to the mounds of dust and scattered them with a kick as he quietly tormented himself over what he was going to have to do. This wasn’t doing him any good he realised, he had been out here for nearly an hour and he was just putting off the inevitable. He began to walk towards the car, even if he didn’t go home right away he still had to think and he couldn’t do that here. There were too many memories that haunted him. As he got near the car he heard the bike come to a stop and he turned and looked around. The rider got off and stared at him through tear stained eyes. They had always had an volatile friendship and they had many off these stare-outs over the years and Michael had never been the first to turn away, but seeing the pain and the anger reflecting through his brown eyes Michael felt ashamed for what they were doing. He turned away and got in the car. They had caused so much hurt to these people that had given them everything. He had caused so much hurt. He began to drive away. He had a final look in the rear-view mirror at Kyle, who had now sat down at the reservoir and was holding his head in his hands and his eyes began to water. They didn’t deserve this..they didn’t deserve the pain that they were feeling now. None of them did.

It had been more than an hour since he had drove of. She was getting worried as he never spent all day out without at least calling her. She didn’t expect him to report in every 15 minutes but he hadn’t been home all day. She tried to get rid of the uneasy feeling that she had by pretending that she didn’t care. But she did. She walked to the phone and began to dial the Evans’ number. Max would know where he was; she listened in the handset and heard the busy tone so she hung up.

“Fine, Lets see..Izzy” again after she dialled the number she got the busy tone,

“Stupid brother and sister always talking to each other..Oook third time lucky. Please be in Tess,” she said to the phone receiver. She got the answer machine and began to talk into it when Tess picked up the phone.

“Hey Tess, It’s just me. I don’t suppose Michael is there is he? What do you mean “thinking about things” and “time apart”? What’s going on? He hasn’t been home all day and if you know where he is tell me. What do you mean you have to go? You can’t start to tell me something and then disappear. Fine, “Michael will tell me”. Ohhh…anyway I take it you and Kyle had a talk? Did he ask you? Oh, he didn’t, I have no idea he just said he had to talk to you about something. What? Tess, no tell me what’s..”

Tess hung up the phone leaving Maria talking into the empty handset “..going on with you guys…”

She hung up the phone and stared outside at the road where she swore she saw Tess speed past. Her uneasy feeling began to grow and her anger disappeared. She didn’t care about yelling at him, she just needed him here with her. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be ok and that she didn’t need to worry. She needed him.

“Please Michael…where are you?”

He had been driving back into town when he saw the other car driving towards him. Speeding towards him to be exact. He knew who it was that was in the car; he could sense her emotions as she drove past him, not even seeing him. He sped up the car, it was late and there was no traffic on the road and when he had to concentrate on the road he didn’t have to think. He didn’t have to imagine her reaction. He hit the breaks and got out the car and began to kick at the tyres. He again began to shout at the tyres of the car as he sat against the car as his strength began to fade. He had to compose himself so that he could be strong for her, so that he could be strong enough to leave her.

She was staring at the TV screen while not seeing anything. She was still going over what Tess had said to her inadvertently. She went over to the phone and picked it up. She’d get a straight answer one way or another from someone. The number began to ring and a weary voice picked it up.

“Liz, is Michael there? No? Ok, listen did Max come home? Can I speak to him? Thanks. Max. Where’s Michael? No, he didn’t come home why the hell do you think I’m phoning around the flippin’ town? What the hell happened? Max, please tell me…I need to know. What’s going on? Oh.”

Her voice became quiet.

”When? How’s Liz? She is..that’s..that’s really great. I’m..I’m really happy for you..thanks for telling me. No, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I gotta go..bye”

The tears that had begun in the middle of her conversation emerged as full strength sobs as she dropped the phone receiver. They were leaving. As she replaced the receiver the phone rang again and she quickly took a couple of deep breaths to compose herself before she answered it.

“Hello? Oh..hi Alex. What’s going on with you?”

The tears began to silently stream down her face as she talked to Alex. Her world was falling apart around her and for once, she had no power to stop it.

It had been a long drive back but he had finally made it. He looked in the window to see if he could see any movement. He looked at his watch..it was after midnight. Maybe she was in bed. It wasn’t like her not to be storming about after he was late. It was too quiet in there. He got out the car and opened the door to the house. As he walked in the house he realised how quiet it was, he had a quick look around and noticed that the phone was off the hook and that there was a shattered cup lying beside the wall, with the coffee dripping down the wall where it had impacted. His heartbeat began to get rapid, what had happened?

“Maria, are you here, are you in bed?”

When there was no reply he began to look in the bedrooms. She wasn’t there. He ran down to the kitchen and seen the patio door open. He took a deep breath and released it when he seen her lying on the grass staring at the sky. This wasn’t like her, when she was angry she yelled at him and attempted to lock him out the house. She never did this. He walked towards her cautiously.

“Maria? Are you ok?”

Again she didn’t reply and she continued looking up at the sky, willing herself not to cry. As he walked out the door he saw them, the suitcases.

“Maria, what’s this about?”

He said indicating the suitcases. She sat up and turned to look at him. She hid her pain and smiled.

“I didn’t think you’d have enough time to pack so I figured I may as well make myself useful. Of course I don’t know if you will need them but..it’s always better to be prepared right?”

Her voice let in a trace of sarcasm and pain at the end and he knew that she knew.

“You heard then?”

she nodded before standing up and walking towards him.

“How?”

“Take your pick, which alien do you think blabbed first? See, it wasn’t a universal decision to run off and hide your head in the sand and pretend that we are 16 where you can toss me aside when you feel like it. It’s supposed to be different now.”

“It is different…”

“Then stay!”

“I can’t stay..I have to go. They need us.”

“Well I hope they don’t need Izzy ‘cause she’s staying..”

“Isabel’s not going?”

“Will you let me come?”

He looked at her, her eyes red and bloodshot from the tears she’d been crying looking both desperate and determined into his own eyes as she spoke. Here it was, the heartbreaker.

”No, you can’t come”

“Max is taking Liz with him…”

She looked at his eyes, they were pained but also determined. He didn’t want her to go with him.

“I’m not Max. I won’t risk your life someplace that I don’t know is safe.”

She turned and walked away so that he wouldn’t see the tears that was falling.

“I guess that this has nothing to do with the fact that we don’t have children, you know Max taking Liz when she’s pregnant, and Izzy staying with the kids.”

She turned to look at him

”Would it have changed your mind? Because if that’s all it is then I guess I can tell you that I already spoke to Isabel about trying to heal the dam…”

“This has nothing to do with the fact that we can’t have children..and Isabel will not mess with your body. It’s too dangerous..I’m keeping you safe because I love you.”

He took giant strides over to where she was standing and took her in is arms as she began to sob.

“It’s only because I love you. I promise I’ll come back but you have to believe in me. I do love you.”

She looked up at him as his own tears fell down her face.

“Please let me come..I don’t want to be alone again.”

He pulled back from her and summoned all his strength to say the words that was going to kill her.

“No Maria, I don’t want you to go.”

Her heart broke in that moment, he felt it as she looked at him. He forced himself to look at her as she pulled away from him.

“I think you should leave Michael. Please go.”

He reached out for her as she yelled at him

“Just Go!!”

He saw that he was hurting her more by staying and although it killed him to do it he walked towards the door. She turned her back to him as he said one last time.

“I will come back for you Maria, I promise you. I love you too much to leave you forever.”

With that he walked through the door and out through the front door before walking down the street away from her…away from his heart. And the tears fell down his face as he remembered her heart breaking in front of him. Maria stood in the garden listening to the door close, once she was sure that he was out of the house she couldn’t stop the tears coming as her strength disappeared and she collapsed in a heap on the grass. She was alone again, he had left her again because he had loved her.

TBC

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