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A WITCH'S TAIL

Pheebs: I can't belive that you guys didn't notice my billboards downtown.
Piper: Oh, honey, of course we can see them, you can see them from a passing 747

Pheebs: Nothing perks up a girl career like sending her husband straight to hell.

Leo: And you, your getting so caught up with this magical kick, I mean look at your hair, it's so red from the potion you blew up last night.
Paige: Do you have any idea how much this would cost in a salon?

Leo: I am your whitelighter. I've been watching you ever since you were a baby.
Piper: Yea, ah-huh, that's too creep to think about.

Pagie: What's life like under the sea? Does your skin get all wrinkly? Does algae pose a personally hygiene problem?

Paige: Why don't you just tell him your a mermaid?
Millie: You mean that I'm a genetic freak with a fish tail coated in glandular slime?

Paige: Who are you people? And what have you done with my sisters?

Paige: What's going on here? Were talking about the sea hag! Mysterious monster under the deep blue sea,...the one whose name strikes fear in the hearts of sailors everywhere.

Cole: Too many people talking at once.
Pheebs: You see Cole, this is what I'm talking about. Good people don't turn other people into water coolers.

Pheebs: Go to hell
Cole: All ready been there.

A WITCH'S TAIL - PART 2

Daryl: Last time I come to this place for lunch.

Cole: Thought you could us a little help
Daryl: You thought right
Cole: Let go get the bad guy
Daryl: What did you do?
Cole: Gave us a little extra time.
Daryl: I can see that. Why?
Cole: You mean, other than saving your ass.

Daryl: What if I don't want your help
Cole: I could always turn you into a water cooler. Got cuffs?

Daryl: Look she doesn't want you. Why don't you give it up?
Cole: because I am in love.

Phoebe: This is his blood. Blood is not supposed to do that.
Paige: You stabbed him
Phoebe: Yeah
Paige: Good

Phoebe: Hey!
Paige: Sorry I couldn't hold you.
Piper: Phoebe, you can't stand, you don't have legs.
Phoebe: Well, why me? Why did I get the tail? We all read the spell together!
Paige: Maybe because your the best swimmer?

Piper: Do you sense the sea hag? Is she close?
Phoebe: How should I know?
Piper: Well, maybe if you put your head under water?
Phoebe: And get my hair wet?

Leo: Why am I standing in the ocean?
Piper: Phoebe is a mermaid.
Leo: Ooohh, that would explain it.

Piper: Follow the stench.
Phoebe: How?
Piper: I don't know, get in touch with your inner fish.

Paige: That's actually the most fun I've seen Phoebe have since Cole died.
Leo: Which time?
Paige: Good point.

Craig: How can I love her...look at her....she gotta a......
Leo: Really beautiful heart.

Paige: Phoebe! Fight it.
Phoebe: I don't want to fight. I just want to be free.

Piper: Leo! The Persian!

Paige: It's official, Phoebe is on the run.
Leo: on the swim, technically

Piper: Yeah, we establish I was a spineless coward in the face of evil

Piper: Since when did Phoebe become cold hearted?
Paige: Maybe she's been in the deep freeze ever since Cole came back.

Leo: Where do we go next?
Paige: I don't know...Book of Shadows, library of congress, Internet, anywhere we can to get rid of Phoebe's tail.

Paige: I am so sorry I am missing work, Mr. Cowen, it's my sister, she's had a fishing accident.

Piper: Did you see what my fear did to Phoebe? I'm supposed to be stronger than ever no that I'm pregnant. For our daughter and my sisters. It's my job to take care of this family.
Leo: Sometimes its this families job to take care of you. Sometimes it's my job.
Piper: What do I do?
Leo: figure out what's causing this fear
Piper: Therapy takes years and Phoebe needs me now.

Cole: Wait before you say anything.
Paige: Not say, do. Cause I'm about to orb your family jewels far, far away.
Cole: Yeah that would hurt.

Cole: I never meant to hurt her.
Paige: You didn't mean to do lots of things, but they happen, you are a one man death squad, bodies, blood and pain follow you wherever you go.

Paige: Isn't there a demon after you
Piper: Demon? Did someone say demon?
Leo: Yeah. One chased Phoebe back home.
Piper: Well, that was nice of it, welcome home.
Phoebe: This isn't my home anymore.
Piper: So, what about this demon. Where is it? I'd like to thank it and kill it.

Phoebe: Will some on please get me back to the ocean, before I suffocate. I need the water.
Paige: You want water? I'll get you some water.

Piper: A good plan violently executed this week, is better than a perfect plan executed next week. That's Patton.
Paige: Why are you quoting Patton?

Nancy Odell: Gosh, I'm sorry, your sister said we were doing the interview in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Well that should have been your first clue that my sister sprang from the shallower end of the gene pool.

Piper: Is that the best you've got?

Cole: What kind of game are you playing?
Paige: I'm not playing any games. I told you, Phoebe needs your help.
Cole: And you need physiological help.

Piper: Okay, I've had enough, your treatment of me is shocking.

A WITCH IN TIME:

Piper: He's Divorced
Leo: So is She
Piper: he's wearing cologne
Leo: Ooohh, that's a bad thing.

Paige: Hey! A little quiet here!
Piper: What is this? A brothel!?
Max: You didn't mention that! I'm a a little short on cash!

Phoebe: Okay, something really freaky happened last night, when I was with Miles.
Piper: You guys are all ready getting freaky?

Miles: What happened to the candles and the romance?
Pheebs: Unfortunately our plans have changed. I just really wanted you to get to know my family, I hope you don't mind.
Paige: Phoebe has said so much about you, we just wanted to get to know you a little better
Piper: Although probably not as much as we just did.

Piper: And then there's our other problem
Paige: Blow him up!!
Piper: And get knocked on my ass again.

Cole: Why are you holding onto him so tight?
Pheebs: You lost your right to ask me that kind of a question a long time ago.

Leo: Ladies! Death cannot be feared, for death in time comes to all witches. You know the witch who says she not scared in battle is a liar. The real witch is the one who fights.
Piper: Honey?
Leo: yeah?
Piper: Zip it!
Leo: K

SAM I AM

Pheebs: But don't you think its a little early to be looking for nanny's? I mean your not even showing yet....except for your boobies.
Piper: I'm telling you...they are large and definitely in charge.

Paige: Breaking up is such a downer.
Pheebs: Yeah, well, practice makes perfect.

Leo: Good luck
Paige: where are you going?
Leo: Nanny interviews

Paige: It's shabby sheik.
Sam: Its a shabby dump

Sam: A little advice, you need to work up a cover. Didn't you read the whitelighter manual?
Paige: There's a manual?

Paige: The Elders sent me to protect someone without telling me who he was!
Piper: I'd say that was a bit of an understatement.
Paige: Is there something else I should know?

Piper: You knew about his Jenny Jones reunion!

Piper: We gotta find Sam, it's our only chance.
Paige: So then I'm screwed.

Piper: I'm not alone. Appartenly the baby prefers mommy to be indestructible.
Pheebs: That a good point, you go.

Paige: Thank you.
Piper: Okay thanks later, Leo now

Paige: I choose to be a witch. I could have walked away, but I didn't. And now I'm a whitelighter to boot.
Sam: That's my girl.